to quote chris anderson responding to milton friedman: “a free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.” indeed, craig in new york offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. on one hand: free soda. on the other: notes like these. (you can still see the cliffsnotes version peeking out from underneath.)
related: everyone deserves a cold drink
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109 responses so far ↓
#1 secondsout
Passive aggression at its finest. and screw that Refrigerator Stocking Angel! My fridge doesn’t have any cold beer in it right now. That bitch is fired!
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:29 pm rating: +6
#2 secondsout
and for the sake of brevity, is there any way the PAN author could have condensed this thing any? Just maybe? One might have to trim some of the sarcasm down, but people might get the point without reading a lengthy note.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:31 pm rating: 0
#3 secondsout
Then again, there appears to be another note underneath with larger print, less sarcasm, and fewer words. It appears to have gone unheeded.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: +4
#4 Dent
the sarcasm in the baby is so thick you might just need a chain saw to get through it
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 0
#5 cre8tivewmn
The note is long enough to keep the readers working on it so that some understanding might just seep into their whiny little souls.
Given the number of notes here, I’m assuming that people often complain about the lack of cold free sodas.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:44 pm rating: +1
#6 thatlittlemonkey
I sure wish I had a cold soda to wash down all this sarcasm.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: +3
#7 secondsout
So if I noisily turn to the right, will I be unable to find free soft drinks?
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: +1
#8 secondsout
Oh, right, close the refrigerator door. I am three years old, so I often forget.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:47 pm rating: 0
#9 Epiphany
“I” may have to do this daily?!? It looks like the Refrigerator Stocking Angel is getting lazy, but not lazy enough to type a long notice!…and the rest of the bastards…well they’re just greedy…. drinking all the cold drinks and such….
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:55 pm rating: 0
#10 KittyKat
Classic PA. This is so beautiful, it brings a tear to my eye.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:57 pm rating: 0
#11 pry
chris needs to shut up and drink his free sodas.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:58 pm rating: 0
#12 John
This note is brilliant! I wouldn’t change a thing.
My favorite bit is the parenthetic aside:
(assuming you are still facing the empty refrigerator)
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:15 pm rating: +5
#13 The Other Commenter
Um, that headline is amazing. Sorry I have nothing sarcastic to say.
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:22 pm rating: +2
#14 bamBAM!!
See, by doing this you are really just putting the Refrigerator Stocking Fairy out of work, and wouldn’t that just make her aggitated, and possibly encourage her to switch your Diet Coke with Fresca?
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:30 pm rating: 0
#15 Tyler
The best part about all the details, is that they were most likely written because someone needed that detail explained to them. That means that someone has panicked, didn’t notice the doors to the right, wasn’t careful when they looked behind the doors, didn’t notice several packs of soda, didn’t carry them gently, forgot to open the fridge door, and didn’t discover the soda chilled when they came back later.
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:34 pm rating: +4
#16 GVI
Good God - That was less of a note and more of a lecture.
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: 0
#17 tlyzer
This note is stunning. I just wish I had been the one to write it. *sigh*
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: +2
#18 WickedLady
Don’t blame the Refrigerator Stocking Angel. She is indeed very busy and doing something as simple as this yourself would help her a lot. Geez, just give her a break.
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:32 pm rating: 0
#19 claw71
This is what happens if you don’t have a Sharpie on hand. WRITE OUT LOUD!
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:36 pm rating: 0
#20 claw71
Seriously, if it’s this much of a problem I’d stop providing free pop (sorry, folks it’s pop…soda is a caustic alkaline substance that can be used in a variety of industrial applications) and fire the mindless goldbrick who penned this tome.
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:50 pm rating: 0
#21 claw71
Dateline April 23, 2008…
Police still have no suspects in the brutal slaying of The Stocking Angel. Investigators have not been able to get any leads from the office where she was last seen alive. The Keebler Elves and the Tooth Fairy are still unable to perform their duties while the killer remains at large. If you have any information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer you may be eligible for a reward. Call Crime Stoppers….
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:55 pm rating: +2
#22 Lurker
I think I need a cold caffeinated soda just to get through that first sentence.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:01 pm rating: 0
#23 Steph
Sounds like my dishwashing fairy.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:05 pm rating: +1
#24 summer
This could be the start of a fairy strike, or a revolution!
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:17 pm rating: 0
#25 Canthz_B
Slowly I turn…
I’m shocked there were no instructions regarding the ice trays.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:29 pm rating: 0
#26 WickedLady
Hallelujah
I heard there is a secret door
Behind it are soft drinks and more
But you don’t really care for cold drinks, do you?
Maybe it’s just your laziness
But won’t you please listen to this?
I’ve got a lesson for you, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
You’re headstrong, but don’t you see?
Cold drinks work the best for me
These helpful steps will guide you through it
Quietly turn to your right
You’ll see the door, you’ll see the light!
Yes, from your lips it draws a hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
Now carefully open the door
You’ll see the drinks, so much more
Now grab a six-pack of them, will you?
Gently carry the six-pack back
Carefully place it on the rack
Close the fridge’s door now, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
Now you have some time to do some stuff
Before the drink is cool enough
But drinks are worth the waiting, aren’t them?
Now take your drink and take a sip
The cool soft drink will make you flip
And every sip you take is hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
You realize there’s a God above
Who sends to us with all his love
His Refrigerator Stocking Angel
It’s her blessings you hear at night
You’ve eased her work, with effort slight
She will thank you with her hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
Yeah, I know it’s not that great, but it’s half past 1 am. I’m off to bed.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: +17
#27 anglophile
Aw, don’t say that! You’ll find a way!
<—encouraging smiley
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:45 pm rating: +1
#28 Sue Do Nim
Is a refrigerator stocking anything like a Christmas stocking? Why does it need an angel?
Mar 11, 2008 at 8:10 pm rating: +1
#29 Puntabulous » Post Topic » Passive Aggressive Notes
[...] Another one of my submissions was posted on Passive Aggressive Notes! [...]
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:07 pm rating: 0
#30 bamBAM!!
I didn’t know that “Free Soft Drink” was the title of a movie, book, album or boat.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:14 pm rating: 0
#31 bamBAM!!
The stars at the top make it a bit more polite.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:15 pm rating: 0
#32 bamBAM!!
It may hurt me, but definitely not the Refrigerator Stocking Angel.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:17 pm rating: 0
#33 Rachael
Painful to read but since it’s layered upon another note that’s clearly more brief—- SOMEONE isn’t getting it.
So you get the sense that the note became a lecture out of desperation because someone just keeps complaining about the lack of soda and then the lack of COLD soda.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:26 pm rating: 0
#34 raiseyourglass
I give the sarcasm an A.
It just screams “FREELOADING LOOSER JUST FILL THE FRIDGE!
Love it!
Mar 11, 2008 at 10:26 pm rating: +1
#35 Sarah
Does every other Word have to be Capitalized as if it is a Brand Spanking New Product? That’s just Ridiculous.
Mar 11, 2008 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
#36 Suhayla