To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”
Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)
related: everyone deserves a cold drink
113 responses so far ↓
#1
secondsout
Passive aggression at its finest. and screw that Refrigerator Stocking Angel! My fridge doesn’t have any cold beer in it right now. That bitch is fired!
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:29 pm rating: 47
#2
secondsout
and for the sake of brevity, is there any way the PAN author could have condensed this thing any? Just maybe? One might have to trim some of the sarcasm down, but people might get the point without reading a lengthy note.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:31 pm rating: 0
#3
secondsout
Then again, there appears to be another note underneath with larger print, less sarcasm, and fewer words. It appears to have gone unheeded.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 10
#4
Dent
the sarcasm in the baby is so thick you might just need a chain saw to get through it
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 1
#5
cre8tivewmn
The note is long enough to keep the readers working on it so that some understanding might just seep into their whiny little souls.
Given the number of notes here, I’m assuming that people often complain about the lack of cold free sodas.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:44 pm rating: 2
#6
thatlittlemonkey
I sure wish I had a cold soda to wash down all this sarcasm.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: 12
#7
secondsout
So if I noisily turn to the right, will I be unable to find free soft drinks?
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: 8
#8
secondsout
Oh, right, close the refrigerator door. I am three years old, so I often forget.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:47 pm rating: 2
#9
Epiphany
“I” may have to do this daily?!? It looks like the Refrigerator Stocking Angel is getting lazy, but not lazy enough to type a long notice!…and the rest of the bastards…well they’re just greedy…. drinking all the cold drinks and such….
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:55 pm rating: 0
#10
KittyKat
Classic PA. This is so beautiful, it brings a tear to my eye.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:57 pm rating: 2
#11
pry
chris needs to shut up and drink his free sodas.
Mar 11, 2008 at 4:58 pm rating: 0
#12
John
This note is brilliant! I wouldn’t change a thing.
My favorite bit is the parenthetic aside:
(assuming you are still facing the empty refrigerator)
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:15 pm rating: 9
#13
The Other Commenter
Um, that headline is amazing. Sorry I have nothing sarcastic to say.
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:22 pm rating: 4
#14
bamBAM!!
See, by doing this you are really just putting the Refrigerator Stocking Fairy out of work, and wouldn’t that just make her aggitated, and possibly encourage her to switch your Diet Coke with Fresca?
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:30 pm rating: 1
#15
Tyler
The best part about all the details, is that they were most likely written because someone needed that detail explained to them. That means that someone has panicked, didn’t notice the doors to the right, wasn’t careful when they looked behind the doors, didn’t notice several packs of soda, didn’t carry them gently, forgot to open the fridge door, and didn’t discover the soda chilled when they came back later.
Mar 11, 2008 at 5:34 pm rating: 8
#16
GVI
Good God – That was less of a note and more of a lecture.
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: 0
#17
tlyzer
This note is stunning. I just wish I had been the one to write it. *sigh*
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: 4
#18
WickedLady
Don’t blame the Refrigerator Stocking Angel. She is indeed very busy and doing something as simple as this yourself would help her a lot. Geez, just give her a break.
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:32 pm rating: 2
#19
claw71
This is what happens if you don’t have a Sharpie on hand. WRITE OUT LOUD!
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:36 pm rating: 1
#20
claw71
Seriously, if it’s this much of a problem I’d stop providing free pop (sorry, folks it’s pop…soda is a caustic alkaline substance that can be used in a variety of industrial applications) and fire the mindless goldbrick who penned this tome.
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:50 pm rating: 0
#21
claw71
Dateline April 23, 2008…
Police still have no suspects in the brutal slaying of The Stocking Angel. Investigators have not been able to get any leads from the office where she was last seen alive. The Keebler Elves and the Tooth Fairy are still unable to perform their duties while the killer remains at large. If you have any information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer you may be eligible for a reward. Call Crime Stoppers….
Mar 11, 2008 at 6:55 pm rating: 9
#22
Lurker
I think I need a cold caffeinated soda just to get through that first sentence.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:01 pm rating: 0
#23
Steph
Sounds like my dishwashing fairy.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:05 pm rating: 2
#24
summer
This could be the start of a fairy strike, or a revolution!
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:17 pm rating: 1
#25
Canthz_B
Slowly I turn…
I’m shocked there were no instructions regarding the ice trays.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:29 pm rating: 2
#26
WickedLady
Hallelujah
I heard there is a secret door
Behind it are soft drinks and more
But you don’t really care for cold drinks, do you?
Maybe it’s just your laziness
But won’t you please listen to this?
I’ve got a lesson for you, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
You’re headstrong, but don’t you see?
Cold drinks work the best for me
These helpful steps will guide you through it
Quietly turn to your right
You’ll see the door, you’ll see the light!
Yes, from your lips it draws a hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
Now carefully open the door
You’ll see the drinks, so much more
Now grab a six-pack of them, will you?
Gently carry the six-pack back
Carefully place it on the rack
Close the fridge’s door now, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
Now you have some time to do some stuff
Before the drink is cool enough
But drinks are worth the waiting, aren’t them?
Now take your drink and take a sip
The cool soft drink will make you flip
And every sip you take is hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
You realize there’s a God above
Who sends to us with all his love
His Refrigerator Stocking Angel
It’s her blessings you hear at night
You’ve eased her work, with effort slight
She will thank you with her hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah…
Yeah, I know it’s not that great, but it’s half past 1 am. I’m off to bed.
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:35 pm rating: 31
#27
anglophile
Aw, don’t say that! You’ll find a way!
<—encouraging smiley
Mar 11, 2008 at 7:45 pm rating: 2
#28
Sue Do Nim
Is a refrigerator stocking anything like a Christmas stocking? Why does it need an angel?
Mar 11, 2008 at 8:10 pm rating: 2
#29 Puntabulous » Post Topic » Passive Aggressive Notes
[...] Another one of my submissions was posted on Passive Aggressive Notes! [...]
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:07 pm rating: 0
#30
bamBAM!!
I didn’t know that “Free Soft Drink” was the title of a movie, book, album or boat.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:14 pm rating: 0
#31
bamBAM!!
The stars at the top make it a bit more polite.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:15 pm rating: 0
#32
bamBAM!!
It may hurt me, but definitely not the Refrigerator Stocking Angel.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:17 pm rating: 0
#33
Rachael
Painful to read but since it’s layered upon another note that’s clearly more brief—- SOMEONE isn’t getting it.
So you get the sense that the note became a lecture out of desperation because someone just keeps complaining about the lack of soda and then the lack of COLD soda.
Mar 11, 2008 at 9:26 pm rating: 1
#34
raiseyourglass
I give the sarcasm an A.
It just screams “FREELOADING LOOSER JUST FILL THE FRIDGE!
Love it!
Mar 11, 2008 at 10:26 pm rating: 2
#35
Sarah
Does every other Word have to be Capitalized as if it is a Brand Spanking New Product? That’s just Ridiculous.
Mar 11, 2008 at 10:39 pm rating: 1
#36
Suhayla
Good for you, “Angel”, you put cans in the fridge for everyone. Stop expecting everyone else to be as big a chump as you. If you stop doing it long enough, people will eventually forget all about you and the apparently only useful function that you serve around there.
Mar 11, 2008 at 10:46 pm rating: 0
#37
Megggggg
Seriously. I appreciate self-sufficiency just like everyone else, I almost expect it of adults, but I’m not sure a novella about soft drinks (pop where I’m from) is going to change much.
Mar 11, 2008 at 11:27 pm rating: 0
#38
Secret Agent Man
You’d think just having free soda would be good enough, but I guess it’s not. Also, the grammar is appalling. It makes my eyes feel like they’re bleeding.
Mar 12, 2008 at 1:01 am rating: 0
#39
Heather
Do you know what makes me crazy about work-notes like this one?!??!
How long was I working my ass off while that co-worker was writing and proofreading that note and pasting it on the fridge????
Next time someone hassles me about my use of time at work, I’m going to show them this note and say “at least I wasn’t doing this”
Mar 12, 2008 at 1:48 am rating: 2
#40
Amyoops
Love it!!
Mar 12, 2008 at 7:29 am rating: 0
#41
Mishee
And it’s even got the highlighter… perfect P/A note, I can just feel the exasperation dripping from each word!
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:10 am rating: 2
#42
WickedLady
The P.S. part leaves me puzzled. There are three options there.
1: Replacing the drinks won’t hurt. Plus the Refrigerator Stocking Angel and I will appreciate my work.
2: Replacing the drinks won’t hurt me plus the RSA will appreciate it.
3: Replacing the drinks won’t hurt me or the Angel and ‘will’ should be ‘we’ll’, meaning everyone appreciates it.
I’m not quite sure which one I like better. But will I really feel pain if I don’t replace those drinks?
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:22 am rating: 0
#43
GhostWriter
I snuck into the breakroon and flipped the note upside-down. You know what happened? Everybody started taking Six-Packs out of the fridge- gently, carefully and quietly.
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: 4
#44
doeseatoats
Ladies and Gentlemen,
You have in front of you an empty fridge. Do you want to trade that for door on the right or the door on the left?
audience: Door on the left!
DOOR ON THE LEFT!!!
Well folks, he’s chosen the door on the left. Let’s open it up and see if it’s a real thirst quencher.
It’s…..
a….
GOAT!
Aww, that’s tough. Let’s have a look what was behind the door on the right. Ooooh, assorted cases of warm soft drinks! I bet you’re really kicking yourself for choosing the door on the left. Well that’s it for the latest show of LET’S MAKE A DRINK. Better luck next time!
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:26 am rating: 5
#45
summer
Maybe they like their soda warm.
Mar 12, 2008 at 10:02 am rating: 0
#46
john
I wonder how many times this person had to act as the Fairy before he/she mustered up the courage to write this note? I bet there was lots of complaining to the Friend of the Fairy for a long time prior to the note being posted:
Fairy: Those assholes at work never replace the soda!
Friend of Fairy: They’re such assholes!
Fairy: One of these days I’m going to write a pass-aggressive note on the fridge and tell them just how i feel!
Friend of Fairy: If I were you, I’d use lots of sarcasm too!
Fairy: Yeah, someday….
Mar 12, 2008 at 10:26 am rating: 0
#47
Writerrejected
No wonder she’s pissed. She needs to join the free-soda Refrigerator Stocking Angel Union. (i.e., 7Up Angels only stock 7UP; Diet Pepsi Angels only stock Pepsi, etc.) Otherwise it’s just too much. No angel should be TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STOCKING ALL THE FREE SODA. Too much pressure on one small angelic entity, too much work and responsibility and burden. No wonder she’s a sarcastic douche.
Imagine if she had another job where she did the same thing? Brain Surgeon responsible for people’s lives, or say, stock broker, responsible for people’s life savings. Imagine the sarcastic letters she’d write in those situations.
Mar 12, 2008 at 12:04 pm rating: 1
#48
Strepsi
Shouldn;t this also be posted under I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, but I think even mother is trumped by I AM NOT A MAGIC ANGEL. Love it.
Mar 12, 2008 at 12:15 pm rating: 3
#49
GhostWriter
It’s a day old, it’s redundant, it’s boooring, but the fact is, the topic of tipping beats this note 2 : 1 !!
Mar 12, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: 0
#50
claw71
I am not a Magic Angel is the alternate title to the Meredith Brooks hit Bitch
However, I believe Bonnie Tyler sang a song about this issue:
Angel of the Break Room (to the tune of Angel of the Morning)
There’ll be no frosty cola cans
If you can’t find it in your heart
You see, I have to take a stand
and this is where I’ll start
You see this is not my home
so I won’t stock the fridge alone
I’m not the Angel of the Break Room, angel
So stock your Sprite before you leave, see
You Baby
I’m not the Angel of the Break Room, angel
So stock the cans without me
Mar 12, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: 5
#51
elephant
oh, it’s so good. soooo gooood
Mar 12, 2008 at 2:38 pm rating: 0
#52
Heidi
HAHAHAHAAH Quietly!!!!!!
Mar 12, 2008 at 3:18 pm rating: 0
#53
Open English
I just had a sarcasm overload… this is just way too much. The person that wrote this has serious problems, or maybe they think it’s funny. Either way, I kinda want to punch them.
Mar 12, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 0
#54
ShizzStirrer
We have a designated Free Soda Fridge Stocking Angel – who does so promptly and with a smile on her face.
However, I suspect she’s, um…slow…since she’s so free with the hugs.
Mar 12, 2008 at 4:46 pm rating: 2
#55
Dent
“The baffled King’s Sarcasm, hallelujah!”
Mar 12, 2008 at 7:54 pm rating: 0
#56
bamBAM!!
This is why god invented vending machines.
Mar 12, 2008 at 8:41 pm rating: 1
#57
Lurker
How could an angel stock my fridge?
Why didn’t he bring some Mr. Pibb?
I wish my thirst was not so big;
Maybe I drank it like a pig.
How could an angel stock my fridge?
Mar 13, 2008 at 11:06 am rating: 1
#58
Lurker
Here’s one for the Eurythmics fans:
No-one on earth could feel like this.
I’ve got a cold Sierrs Mist.
There must be an angel
Filling up my fridge.
I see the shelf that once was bare,
But now a can of birch beer’s there!
It’s an orchestra of angels
And they’re filling up my fridge.
No-one on earth could feel like me.
I’ve got a Coke that’s caffeine free.
There must be an angel
Filling up my fridge.
And when I think that I’m alone
I’ve got a root beer topped with foam.
It’s a multitude of angels
And they’re filling up my fridge.
It must be hallucinations,
Watching angels pour libations.
Could this be reactivation
Of my thirst for carbonation?
This must be a strange deception
Of my empty can collection.
Leavin’ me the recollection
Of the Pepsi generation.
Mar 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm rating: 2
#59
unholyghost2003
Are people ACTUALLY complaining about the lack of cold drinks? Or does the Refrigerator Stocking Angel ASSUME that people want their drinks chilled? Personally I like all my beverages room temp or warmer. If I worked there I would leave my own note.
“Dear Refrigerator Stocking Demon,
I like my drinks ROOM TEMPERATURE. After you load up the Fridge with ALL of my favorite FREE SOFT DRINK I can not find a beverage to drink. I GENTLY remove a six-pack and quietly place it behind the doors on the right, yet EVERY DAY I find it back in the refrigerator!
Please get over your obsessive need for everyone to drink chilled beverages.
Thank you,
Ms. Sensitive Teeth”
Mar 13, 2008 at 3:34 pm rating: 3
#60
Kelly
Everyone all together….that soda was fucking….
disgusting because it was warm!
Screw you Stocking Angel!
Mar 13, 2008 at 4:06 pm rating: 0
#61
misterpain
The single off Juice Newton’s 1998 album, ‘The Trouble With Angels’ (!) was titled ‘The Sweetest Thing’, quite possibly a reference to the sweet additives and flavourings found in most ‘pop’ or ‘soda’ drinks.
Is Juice Newton the Angel of the Break Room? Put 2 and 2 together, people. All I ask is that you look at the facts and make up your own minds….
Jul 10, 2008 at 3:15 am rating: 0
#62
Courtney
I’m pretty sure I worked at that place.
Oct 28, 2008 at 9:20 pm rating: 0
#63
hysterica
I like to think about the things the Refrigerator Stocking Angel does in her non-stocking time…
Jun 5, 2009 at 3:25 pm rating: 0
#64
I'mASoftDrinkFairyToo!
OMG. I so know the pain. I was the one who had to stock a fridge for a bunch of uptight wanker I-bankers and it was ludicrous, exhausting…enraging! Rather than placing a six pack in the fridge, from the cupboard which was also just right of the fridge, they would EMAIL ME. They knew where the pop was kept. If that isn’t the height of wankerdom I don’t know what is. I never left a note like this. But I wish I would have. Would have been a nice exit move on behalf of the poor gal that got my job when I left the company.
Sep 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm rating: 0
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