The minor gall, the major rift

March 11th, 2008 · 113 comments

To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”

Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)

ATTENTION: If you have found that you are a little thirsty and upon coming here to get refreshment you notice that your favorite FREE SOFT DRINK is not currently stocked in this refrigerator and you are concerned because you think the Refrigerator Stocking Angel might be failing in her duties and you don't know what to do next! Please! Don't panic! Quietly turn towards the right (assuming you are still facing the empty refrigerator). Notice the doors on your right. Look carefully behind one of these doors, and you might find several cases of assorted warm soft drinks. if you grab a SIX PACK of your favorite, carry it gently to the refrigerator, place that SIX-PACK on a shelf and then close the refrigerator door, you might discover that when you come back later for a soft drink (remember that it take a little time for them to chill), there are cold drinks for everyone. Hallelujah! P.S. You may need to do this daily but it really won't hurt you and the Refrigerator Stocking Angel will be really appreciate of your new display of self sufficiency!

related: everyone deserves a cold drink

FILED UNDER: a little patronizing · beverages · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · New York · p.s. · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR


113 responses so far ↓

  • #1   secondsout bang

    Passive aggression at its finest. and screw that Refrigerator Stocking Angel! My fridge doesn’t have any cold beer in it right now. That bitch is fired!

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:29 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   audball bang

      That’s awesome. I fired my refrigeraor stocking angel a long time ago. I now call her my ‘roommate’. :)

      Apr 2, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   pickledami

      that refrigerator stocking angel was fucking delicious!!

      Jun 1, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Spoon

      Thank You Terry!

      Apr 22, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   secondsout bang

    and for the sake of brevity, is there any way the PAN author could have condensed this thing any? Just maybe? One might have to trim some of the sarcasm down, but people might get the point without reading a lengthy note.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   secondsout bang

    Then again, there appears to be another note underneath with larger print, less sarcasm, and fewer words. It appears to have gone unheeded.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Dent

    the sarcasm in the baby is so thick you might just need a chain saw to get through it

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Quite Contrary

      And that is exactly what I love, love, love about this note. You could replace “Free Soft Drink” with virtually any household item. Say toilet paper. Or laundry detergent. Or anything else my ex- would finish off and not replace.

      Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   GhostWriter bang

      We had a lot of fun in the breakroom last week, when we replaced “Free Soft Drink” with “Minty Mouthwash”.

      Stan was so punked. He didn’t figure it out ’till we told him.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   cre8tivewmn bang

    The note is long enough to keep the readers working on it so that some understanding might just seep into their whiny little souls.

    Given the number of notes here, I’m assuming that people often complain about the lack of cold free sodas.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   thatlittlemonkey

    I sure wish I had a cold soda to wash down all this sarcasm.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   secondsout bang

    So if I noisily turn to the right, will I be unable to find free soft drinks?

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Troy McClure bang

      Oh yes; they’re very skittish.

      Mar 11, 2008 at 6:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   butter

      Which is why I have to carry them gently?

      Mar 12, 2008 at 7:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Clumber

      You’ll scare the Refrigerator Stocking Angel! Ever so fragile, s/he.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 11:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   secondsout bang

    Oh, right, close the refrigerator door. I am three years old, so I often forget.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   butter

      I have roommates that forget. Evidently they’re twenty, but oftentimes I think that they lied about their age so they can buy cigarettes and other age-dependent comestibles.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 7:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   secondsout bang

      Most refrigerators close on their own account, too. You have to be ultra-retarded not to be able to close a fridge.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   GFYM

      Yep, most people are

      Mar 13, 2008 at 3:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Sirius bang

      I have roommates that forget. Evidently they’re twenty, but oftentimes I think that they lied about their age so they can buy cigarettes and other age-dependent comestibles.

      Actually, I don’t think cigarettes are comestibles, unless you’re really hungry.

      Jun 29, 2008 at 6:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Epiphany

    “I” may have to do this daily?!? It looks like the Refrigerator Stocking Angel is getting lazy, but not lazy enough to type a long notice!…and the rest of the bastards…well they’re just greedy…. drinking all the cold drinks and such….

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   KittyKat

    Classic PA. This is so beautiful, it brings a tear to my eye.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   pry

    chris needs to shut up and drink his free sodas.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   John

    This note is brilliant! I wouldn’t change a thing.

    My favorite bit is the parenthetic aside:

    (assuming you are still facing the empty refrigerator)

    Mar 11, 2008 at 5:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   secondsout bang

      Which, unless you pulled the note off the fridge, you would have to be facing the empty refrigerator, if you are reading said note.

      Mar 11, 2008 at 7:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Lorelie

      I thought it was assuming that the Refrigerator Stocking Angel had finally done his damn job when I blinked, therefore making the fridge not-empty.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 7:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   The Other Commenter

    Um, that headline is amazing. Sorry I have nothing sarcastic to say.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 5:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   anglophile bang

      From my lips it drew the Hallelujah.

      Mar 11, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Gez bang

      Concur

      Mar 12, 2008 at 5:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   tinkerbell2

      me too. genius. and a pretty good note – team Angel.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 8:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   vimandvigor

      she tied you to her kitchen chair, then she broke your throne and cut your hair

      Mar 13, 2008 at 1:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   bamBAM!! bang

    See, by doing this you are really just putting the Refrigerator Stocking Fairy out of work, and wouldn’t that just make her aggitated, and possibly encourage her to switch your Diet Coke with Fresca?

    Mar 11, 2008 at 5:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   sunlotus

      i love fresca. don’t they have any ICE in the fridge? It’s a FREE SOFT DRINK for christ’s sake, people! just get some fricken ice and shut up already about the soda not being cold.
      a free fresca would really hit the spot right now, man.

      Mar 13, 2008 at 2:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   n00h8t bang

      geez you had to bring up ice…if I could find a single lone frozen cube in my office fridge it would be a miracle. I once brought in a container to save 4 cubes for later in the afternoon and some asshole stole it and the saved cubes….bastards, kill’em all.

      Apr 6, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   jelloegg bang

      NOO!! Not my diet coke!!!

      Jul 3, 2008 at 3:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Tyler bang

    The best part about all the details, is that they were most likely written because someone needed that detail explained to them. That means that someone has panicked, didn’t notice the doors to the right, wasn’t careful when they looked behind the doors, didn’t notice several packs of soda, didn’t carry them gently, forgot to open the fridge door, and didn’t discover the soda chilled when they came back later.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 5:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Zsa bang

      You know someone got a foam-all-over-your-desk-and-have-to-explain-the-diet-coke-stain-on-the-report, not quite cold soda from some idiot who dropped the six pack in the open fridge.

      Mar 11, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   GVI bang

    Good God – That was less of a note and more of a lecture.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   tlyzer bang

    This note is stunning. I just wish I had been the one to write it. *sigh*

    Mar 11, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   WickedLady bang

    Don’t blame the Refrigerator Stocking Angel. She is indeed very busy and doing something as simple as this yourself would help her a lot. Geez, just give her a break.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 6:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   claw71 bang

      In my house the Stocking Angel takes socks from the dryer and places them throughout the house. I would assume that the Refrigerator Stocking Angel limits this practice to molesting socks in the fridge.

      Interestingly enough, stalking Angel can cost you 90 days in the slammer.

      Mar 11, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   claw71 bang

    This is what happens if you don’t have a Sharpie on hand. WRITE OUT LOUD!

    Mar 11, 2008 at 6:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   TygerAKC bang

      And with that Sharpie, in all caps: “YOUR MOM DOESN’T WORK HERE! STOCK YOUR OWN FREE SOFT DRINKS!”

      Mar 11, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Desiree

      We tried this in our office kitchen just above the sink… WASH YOUR OWN DISHES, YOUR MOTHER DOESN’T WORK HERE! The note made no difference whatsoever. I think there are dishes piled in the sink right now.

      Apr 23, 2008 at 12:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Abe Froman bang

      You’re note didn’t work cuz it lacks originality! After browsing this site you should be able to create a more effective strategy than that!

      ATTN: Leaving DIRTY DISHES has been PROVEN to cause YOUR GENTIALS to OOZE PUSS! hugs-n-kisses!

      THNX SANDRA

      Jun 29, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   claw71 bang

    Seriously, if it’s this much of a problem I’d stop providing free pop (sorry, folks it’s pop…soda is a caustic alkaline substance that can be used in a variety of industrial applications) and fire the mindless goldbrick who penned this tome.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 6:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   claw71 bang

    Dateline April 23, 2008…

    Police still have no suspects in the brutal slaying of The Stocking Angel. Investigators have not been able to get any leads from the office where she was last seen alive. The Keebler Elves and the Tooth Fairy are still unable to perform their duties while the killer remains at large. If you have any information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer you may be eligible for a reward. Call Crime Stoppers….

    Mar 11, 2008 at 6:55 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   bellabeastie

      Yes, Officer, I wanted to report a crime.
      About the missing, possibly slain Stocking Angel ? Well, I found out something that may be quite interesting to you.

      What ? Well, I think our culprit may be ……

      The Chilled Six Pack.

      Last seen laying about in the cabinets to your right. No –to your Right. (if indeed you are still facing the refridgerator). He’s been indigent for some time now, and not having been moved by his mateys, and only recently re-established contact with the Stocking Angel since returning to the refridgerator after a tumultous falling out.

      He’s Chilled And Taking No Prisoners –Angel Or No Angel

      PS – when do I get my reward? Just askin’ hehe

      Mar 11, 2008 at 11:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   bellabeastie

      PSS – Can you say Hallelujiah?

      Mar 11, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Lurker

    I think I need a cold caffeinated soda just to get through that first sentence.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Steph

    Sounds like my dishwashing fairy.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 7:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   summer

    This could be the start of a fairy strike, or a revolution!

    Mar 11, 2008 at 7:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    Slowly I turn…

    I’m shocked there were no instructions regarding the ice trays.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 7:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   TygerAKC bang

      That note is probably on the freezer!

      Mar 11, 2008 at 7:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   WickedLady bang

    Hallelujah

    I heard there is a secret door
    Behind it are soft drinks and more
    But you don’t really care for cold drinks, do you?
    Maybe it’s just your laziness
    But won’t you please listen to this?
    I’ve got a lesson for you, hallelujah

    Hallelujah, hallelujah…

    You’re headstrong, but don’t you see?
    Cold drinks work the best for me
    These helpful steps will guide you through it
    Quietly turn to your right
    You’ll see the door, you’ll see the light!
    Yes, from your lips it draws a hallelujah

    Hallelujah, hallelujah…

    Now carefully open the door
    You’ll see the drinks, so much more
    Now grab a six-pack of them, will you?
    Gently carry the six-pack back
    Carefully place it on the rack
    Close the fridge’s door now, hallelujah

    Hallelujah, hallelujah…

    Now you have some time to do some stuff
    Before the drink is cool enough
    But drinks are worth the waiting, aren’t them?
    Now take your drink and take a sip
    The cool soft drink will make you flip
    And every sip you take is hallelujah

    Hallelujah, hallelujah…

    You realize there’s a God above
    Who sends to us with all his love
    His Refrigerator Stocking Angel
    It’s her blessings you hear at night
    You’ve eased her work, with effort slight
    She will thank you with her hallelujah

    Hallelujah, hallelujah…

    Yeah, I know it’s not that great, but it’s half past 1 am. I’m off to bed. :P

    Mar 11, 2008 at 7:35 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   anglophile bang

      Glad to have you back, Wicked Lady. Kudos.

      Mar 11, 2008 at 7:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   WickedLady bang

      Yeah, I pretty much gave up on school (got rejected for art college, there goes my dream) and I missed you guys. So here I am. :P

      Mar 11, 2008 at 7:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   tinkerbell2

      ah, brilliant stuff. well done.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 8:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   anglophile bang

    Aw, don’t say that! You’ll find a way!
    :) <—encouraging smiley

    Mar 11, 2008 at 7:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Sue Do Nim bang

    Is a refrigerator stocking anything like a Christmas stocking? Why does it need an angel?

    Mar 11, 2008 at 8:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Puntabulous » Post Topic » Passive Aggressive Notes

    [...] Another one of my submissions was posted on Passive Aggressive Notes! [...]

    Mar 11, 2008 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   bamBAM!! bang

    I didn’t know that “Free Soft Drink” was the title of a movie, book, album or boat.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 9:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   bamBAM!! bang

    The stars at the top make it a bit more polite.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   bellabeastie

      But the note underneath looks like it says REPLACE
      EVERYONE

      ???

      Mar 12, 2008 at 12:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Tyler bang

      And the green gives is a calm, cooling effect. I already feel more relaxed even though we’re out of Coke.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 4:41 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   morpho aurora bang

      those were supposed to be stars? i thought they were just testing their green marker.

      i like the note. the length, fake sweetness and detailed instructions give it an almost southern feel. *sniffle* kinda made me miss my mom :D

      Mar 12, 2008 at 8:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   bamBAM!! bang

      Nice one, tyler. I gave you a +1.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   aradia

      Clearly, 31.1, the Refrigerator Stocking Angel is replacing everyone who does not comply with a chilled and fucking delicious soft drink. This might explain why Accounting hasn’t turned in their paperwork lately- those Pepsi cans aren’t very motivated.

      Mar 8, 2009 at 9:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   bamBAM!! bang

    It may hurt me, but definitely not the Refrigerator Stocking Angel.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Rachael

    Painful to read but since it’s layered upon another note that’s clearly more brief—- SOMEONE isn’t getting it.

    So you get the sense that the note became a lecture out of desperation because someone just keeps complaining about the lack of soda and then the lack of COLD soda.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   raiseyourglass

    I give the sarcasm an A.
    It just screams “FREELOADING LOOSER JUST FILL THE FRIDGE!

    Love it!

    Mar 11, 2008 at 10:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Sarah bang

    Does every other Word have to be Capitalized as if it is a Brand Spanking New Product? That’s just Ridiculous.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Suhayla

    Good for you, “Angel”, you put cans in the fridge for everyone. Stop expecting everyone else to be as big a chump as you. If you stop doing it long enough, people will eventually forget all about you and the apparently only useful function that you serve around there.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 10:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   tinkerbell2

      Maybe she puts cans in because she herself wants a cold drink from time to time and if she just put 1 can in it’d soon be taken by someone else? And it takes as little effort to put 6 in as 1, probably less if they’re sealed in 6-packs. Being neighbourly doesn’t make you a ‘chump’.
      I think I agree with the others – sounds more like people have complained to her that the cold drinks keep running out. I imagine she has plenty of better stuff to do than run around after them when they can’t be arsed to put their own stuff in the fridge. Jeez.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 8:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Megggggg

    Seriously. I appreciate self-sufficiency just like everyone else, I almost expect it of adults, but I’m not sure a novella about soft drinks (pop where I’m from) is going to change much.

    Mar 11, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Secret Agent Man

    You’d think just having free soda would be good enough, but I guess it’s not. Also, the grammar is appalling. It makes my eyes feel like they’re bleeding.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 1:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Heather

    Do you know what makes me crazy about work-notes like this one?!??!

    How long was I working my ass off while that co-worker was writing and proofreading that note and pasting it on the fridge????

    Next time someone hassles me about my use of time at work, I’m going to show them this note and say “at least I wasn’t doing this”

    Mar 12, 2008 at 1:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Amyoops

    Love it!!

    Mar 12, 2008 at 7:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Mishee bang

    And it’s even got the highlighter… perfect P/A note, I can just feel the exasperation dripping from each word!

    Mar 12, 2008 at 9:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   WickedLady bang

    The P.S. part leaves me puzzled. There are three options there.

    1: Replacing the drinks won’t hurt. Plus the Refrigerator Stocking Angel and I will appreciate my work.
    2: Replacing the drinks won’t hurt me plus the RSA will appreciate it.
    3: Replacing the drinks won’t hurt me or the Angel and ‘will’ should be ‘we’ll’, meaning everyone appreciates it.

    I’m not quite sure which one I like better. But will I really feel pain if I don’t replace those drinks?

    Mar 12, 2008 at 9:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   GhostWriter bang

    I snuck into the breakroon and flipped the note upside-down. You know what happened? Everybody started taking Six-Packs out of the fridge- gently, carefully and quietly.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   doeseatoats bang

    Ladies and Gentlemen,

    You have in front of you an empty fridge. Do you want to trade that for door on the right or the door on the left?

    audience: Door on the left!
    DOOR ON THE LEFT!!!

    Well folks, he’s chosen the door on the left. Let’s open it up and see if it’s a real thirst quencher.
    It’s…..

    a….

    GOAT!

    Aww, that’s tough. Let’s have a look what was behind the door on the right. Ooooh, assorted cases of warm soft drinks! I bet you’re really kicking yourself for choosing the door on the left. Well that’s it for the latest show of LET’S MAKE A DRINK. Better luck next time!

    Mar 12, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   WickedLady bang

      Does prove that people usually don’t read notes, doesn’t it?

      Mar 12, 2008 at 9:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   summer

    Maybe they like their soda warm.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 10:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   john

    I wonder how many times this person had to act as the Fairy before he/she mustered up the courage to write this note? I bet there was lots of complaining to the Friend of the Fairy for a long time prior to the note being posted:

    Fairy: Those assholes at work never replace the soda!
    Friend of Fairy: They’re such assholes!
    Fairy: One of these days I’m going to write a pass-aggressive note on the fridge and tell them just how i feel!
    Friend of Fairy: If I were you, I’d use lots of sarcasm too!
    Fairy: Yeah, someday….

    Mar 12, 2008 at 10:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Writerrejected bang

    No wonder she’s pissed. She needs to join the free-soda Refrigerator Stocking Angel Union. (i.e., 7Up Angels only stock 7UP; Diet Pepsi Angels only stock Pepsi, etc.) Otherwise it’s just too much. No angel should be TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STOCKING ALL THE FREE SODA. Too much pressure on one small angelic entity, too much work and responsibility and burden. No wonder she’s a sarcastic douche.

    Imagine if she had another job where she did the same thing? Brain Surgeon responsible for people’s lives, or say, stock broker, responsible for people’s life savings. Imagine the sarcastic letters she’d write in those situations.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 12:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Strepsi

    Shouldn;t this also be posted under I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, but I think even mother is trumped by I AM NOT A MAGIC ANGEL. Love it.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   GhostWriter bang

    It’s a day old, it’s redundant, it’s boooring, but the fact is, the topic of tipping beats this note 2 : 1 !!

    Mar 12, 2008 at 1:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   Writerrejected bang

      Yeah. You always remind me when I’m bored. And it’s always true.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #49.2   claw71 bang

      Has anybody sent Kerry a Passive Aggressive email lamenting the sudden lapse in PAN delivery?

      Mar 12, 2008 at 1:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #49.3   claw71 bang

      At least with day old bread you can make bread pudding or French toast. I don’t know what to do with a day old PAN.

      I didn’t check with Bill O’Reilly…is “French” ok now? Or is it still Liberty Toast and Freedom Fries?

      I think I’m off his mailing list because I called into his show and said “Olberman”.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 1:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   claw71 bang

    I am not a Magic Angel is the alternate title to the Meredith Brooks hit Bitch

    However, I believe Bonnie Tyler sang a song about this issue:

    Angel of the Break Room (to the tune of Angel of the Morning)

    There’ll be no frosty cola cans
    If you can’t find it in your heart
    You see, I have to take a stand
    and this is where I’ll start
    You see this is not my home
    so I won’t stock the fridge alone

    I’m not the Angel of the Break Room, angel
    So stock your Sprite before you leave, see
    You Baby
    I’m not the Angel of the Break Room, angel
    So stock the cans without me

    Mar 12, 2008 at 1:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   secondsout bang

      Merilee Rush, not Bonnie Tyler.

      See the Wikipedia entry

      Mar 12, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.2   Mermaid bang

      Oh, claw…

      How I’ve missed you.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 4:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.3   claw71 bang

      Sec-out: Thank you for the history lesson but nevertheless Bonnie Tyler did sing it and that is the version I’m more familiar with. Besides, I like the raspy voice for this.

      Mar 13, 2008 at 5:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.4   Me

      It was Juice Newton, not Bonnie Tyler, who sang Angel of the Morning. I wanted to add something clever about her name being Juice in a thread about soda, but I couldn’t think of anything. Anyone?

      Jul 10, 2008 at 2:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   elephant

    oh, it’s so good. soooo gooood

    Mar 12, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Heidi

    HAHAHAHAAH Quietly!!!!!!

    Mar 12, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Open English

    I just had a sarcasm overload… this is just way too much. The person that wrote this has serious problems, or maybe they think it’s funny. Either way, I kinda want to punch them.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   ShizzStirrer

    We have a designated Free Soda Fridge Stocking Angel – who does so promptly and with a smile on her face.

    However, I suspect she’s, um…slow…since she’s so free with the hugs.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #54.1   Summer

      ohhh noooooo!

      Mar 12, 2008 at 5:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #55   Dent

    “The baffled King’s Sarcasm, hallelujah!”

    Mar 12, 2008 at 7:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Dense bang

      I think we’re the only ones that got your joke. Kudos.

      May 13, 2008 at 6:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   bamBAM!! bang

    This is why god invented vending machines.

    Mar 12, 2008 at 8:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Lurker

    How could an angel stock my fridge?
    Why didn’t he bring some Mr. Pibb?
    I wish my thirst was not so big;
    Maybe I drank it like a pig.
    How could an angel stock my fridge?

    Mar 13, 2008 at 11:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Lurker

    Here’s one for the Eurythmics fans:

    No-one on earth could feel like this.
    I’ve got a cold Sierrs Mist.
    There must be an angel
    Filling up my fridge.
    I see the shelf that once was bare,
    But now a can of birch beer’s there!
    It’s an orchestra of angels
    And they’re filling up my fridge.

    No-one on earth could feel like me.
    I’ve got a Coke that’s caffeine free.
    There must be an angel
    Filling up my fridge.
    And when I think that I’m alone
    I’ve got a root beer topped with foam.
    It’s a multitude of angels
    And they’re filling up my fridge.

    It must be hallucinations,
    Watching angels pour libations.
    Could this be reactivation
    Of my thirst for carbonation?
    This must be a strange deception
    Of my empty can collection.
    Leavin’ me the recollection
    Of the Pepsi generation.

    Mar 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #58.1   GFYM

      Good song, but not as good as “still got the juice for you”

      ;-D

      Mar 13, 2008 at 3:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #59   unholyghost2003 bang

    Are people ACTUALLY complaining about the lack of cold drinks? Or does the Refrigerator Stocking Angel ASSUME that people want their drinks chilled? Personally I like all my beverages room temp or warmer. If I worked there I would leave my own note.

    “Dear Refrigerator Stocking Demon,
    I like my drinks ROOM TEMPERATURE. After you load up the Fridge with ALL of my favorite FREE SOFT DRINK I can not find a beverage to drink. I GENTLY remove a six-pack and quietly place it behind the doors on the right, yet EVERY DAY I find it back in the refrigerator!

    Please get over your obsessive need for everyone to drink chilled beverages.

    Thank you,
    Ms. Sensitive Teeth”

    Mar 13, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Kelly

    Everyone all together….that soda was fucking….

    disgusting because it was warm!

    Screw you Stocking Angel!

    Mar 13, 2008 at 4:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   misterpain

    The single off Juice Newton’s 1998 album, ‘The Trouble With Angels’ (!) was titled ‘The Sweetest Thing’, quite possibly a reference to the sweet additives and flavourings found in most ‘pop’ or ‘soda’ drinks.

    Is Juice Newton the Angel of the Break Room? Put 2 and 2 together, people. All I ask is that you look at the facts and make up your own minds….

    Jul 10, 2008 at 3:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Courtney

    I’m pretty sure I worked at that place.

    Oct 28, 2008 at 9:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   hysterica

    I like to think about the things the Refrigerator Stocking Angel does in her non-stocking time…

    Jun 5, 2009 at 3:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   I'mASoftDrinkFairyToo!

    OMG. I so know the pain. I was the one who had to stock a fridge for a bunch of uptight wanker I-bankers and it was ludicrous, exhausting…enraging! Rather than placing a six pack in the fridge, from the cupboard which was also just right of the fridge, they would EMAIL ME. They knew where the pop was kept. If that isn’t the height of wankerdom I don’t know what is. I never left a note like this. But I wish I would have. Would have been a nice exit move on behalf of the poor gal that got my job when I left the company.

    Sep 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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