After a minor breakout, Matt in Toronto “borrowed” his roommate’s Clinique cleanser…and then forgot to put it back where he found it. His (admirably direct) roommate asked if he’d mind not using her Clinique products again in the future, seeing as it was, you know, pretty expensive and not that big of a container. “No problem,” Matt said. Crisis averted!
That is, until last week, when Matt ran out of his own face wash. Instead, he used his roommate’s (again) and then forgot to put it back where he found it (again). The next day, when Matt went to use her cleanser again (after forgetting to stop at the store to buy his own) he found this little Clinique bonus.
Matt’s mea culpa, such as it is: “I shouldn’t have been using her products in the first place, especially after she asked me the first time. I’ll just make sure I never run out of anything ever again!”
related: Is nothing sacred?
110 responses so far ↓
#1
unholyghost2003
ooooooh! Lovin’ the PA “First” Reference when one is a first commenter Oh Pan Goddess!
Moving on, WOW I think this is the first healthy roommate relationship we have seen one here! Congrats Matt & Roommate you EACH win a years supply of Clinique face wash!
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:31 pm rating: 3
#2
brinkofacomplex
Matt gets points for realizing what a dick he is, but that in itself doesn’t make him less of one.
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:32 pm rating: 6
#3
Canthz_B
Team don’t use my toiletries.
Especially if mine are Clinique and you usually buy Suave!
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:40 pm rating: 6
#4
Canthz_B
It’s not the size of the zit.
It’s the potion in the lotion.
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:46 pm rating: 1
#5
Canthz_B
I do love the generic nail clippers slumming with the Clinique products! No red-lining in that medicine cabinet.
Mar 12, 2008 at 9:54 pm rating: 1
#6
PassionateCliniquer
I’m wondering why his roommate is using the Clarifying lotion #2 and make up remover for dry skin and acne potions that are for oily skin?
Increase that exfoliation honey!
Mar 12, 2008 at 10:24 pm rating: 1
#7
Detective Julie
I don’t see how she can afford all her face products in the first place! Maybe she works at the Clinique counter.
Mar 12, 2008 at 10:37 pm rating: 0
#8
raiseyourglass
He should just stick to borrowing the deodorant, pumace stone and toothbrush.
Mar 12, 2008 at 10:41 pm rating: 0
#9
Sarah
This facial cleanser ain’t big enough for the both of us.
Mar 12, 2008 at 11:07 pm rating: 1
#10
Chlor
I’m kind of obsessive compulsive about squeezing the contents of the product to the bottom of the tube. Plus she has bad penmanship.
Screw her.
Mar 12, 2008 at 11:19 pm rating: 1
#11
RALPHY
I notice just above the sign, there appears to be a bullet embedded in the wood. Just maybe Roomy has taken care of the problem. A bit harsh maybe, but it would tend to solve the problem.
Mar 12, 2008 at 11:51 pm rating: 2
#12
secondsout
Did Matt borrow her nail polish, lipstick, and eyeliner, too?
Mar 13, 2008 at 12:14 am rating: 1
#13
Tobi
When you can an entire set of name brand personal care products there is no such thing as “not being able to afford” anything. Tell her to stop complaining.
Mar 13, 2008 at 1:59 am rating: 0
#14
thatlittlemonkey
This is why I live alone. Whose overpriced face wash is this? Oh it’s my overpriced face wash.
Mar 13, 2008 at 3:43 am rating: 7
#15
claw71
Matt:
I regret to inform you that you have been penalized the balance of your man points. You are not eligible for any man rehabilitation programs. Please forward your ball sack to the nearest man repository so it can be cleaned and given to a man who actually needs it.
Sincerely,
The Council of Masculinity
Mar 13, 2008 at 5:37 am rating: 5
#16
muddgirl
Team “If you’re out of face wash then don’t wash your face”.
Mar 13, 2008 at 7:20 am rating: 2
#17
claw71
Matt’s Song (to the tune of I feel Pretty)
Matt’s a sissy, a big sissy
he feels pretty and witty and bright
and he’s too cheap to buy face wash tonight
He’s so smarmy, I said smarmy
It’s alarming for him to steal
A woman’s beauty products in little bottles teal
See that fresh faced boy in the mirror there
who can that girlish boy be?
Such a pretty face, get that guy a dress
Such nutless wuss, Matt’s not a man, you see.
Matt’s such a sissy, a big ol’ sissy
he loves to do such girlish things
He’s trading in his nut sack for napkins with wings.
Mar 13, 2008 at 7:43 am rating: 7
#18
GhostWriter
The note found in Matt’s roommate’s dresser read: “I’m sorry Matt, I can’t afford for both of us to wear Victoria’s Secret panties…tx
Mar 13, 2008 at 7:55 am rating: 5
#19
KittyKat
She better guard her tampons. There’s no telling what Matt would do with those.
Mar 13, 2008 at 8:38 am rating: 2
#20
thatlittlebroad
Team Brillo pad and soft scrub.
Mar 13, 2008 at 8:39 am rating: 0
#21
Clint Eastwood
I know what you’re thinking: Should I risk dry skin and use body wash, or steal some of her facial scrub?
Seeing as how it reduces the appearance of fine lines as it exfoliates dead skin clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel oily?
Well, do you, punk?
Mar 13, 2008 at 8:57 am rating: 5
#22
Mishee
I don’t blame her at all! Clinique is NOT cheap stuff!!
Men should use soap – Lava soap if possible, or maybe Borax… but I always get a giggle when Mr. Mishee uses my apricot face wash in the shower… but it makes his skin so soft I don’t care for long!!!
Mar 13, 2008 at 9:58 am rating: 2
#23
EvilTwin
I’m sorry Matt, I can’t loan you my Prada bag for that function you have tomorrow night…even though it looks way better with that little Vera Wang number you’re wearing than with my Dior.
thx.
Mar 13, 2008 at 10:10 am rating: 0
#24
KittyKat
I’m sorry, Matt, I can’t afford for both of us to use my toilet paper, so I’d prefer if you would go around smelling like shit. Or if you like, you can wipe your ass with this note.
thx.
Mar 13, 2008 at 10:37 am rating: 2
#25
nix
Sorry, Matt, I’m with the roommate – Clinique is kind of expensive! Get her a gift certificate for them.
Mar 13, 2008 at 11:08 am rating: 1
#26
claw71
Matt’s taking a beating here but he deserves it. He repeatedly used her products even though she asked him not to. The fact that he forgot to put the cleanser back afterusing it indicates premeditation on his part. He was hoping to get away with it.
The fact is Matt never intended to buy his own, he figured he could pilfer his roomie’s for free. I’m glad we revoked his man card. I only hope women reject his application too.
Let him be without gender: A pimply humanoid thing with no genitalia and no home… just an unhealthy streak of vanity, a lust for women’s toiletries and complete disregard for human decency.
Mar 13, 2008 at 11:53 am rating: 3
#27
Pepelope
So easy to fix it… It may not be right but it is understandable that Matt used once or twice a little bit of something that did not belonged to him. They share a household, what the heck!
But of course, the roommate has all the right to be annoyed, specially because she does not know how often this has happened.
Matt should buy a new tube of clinique cleanser and a bunch of flowers, write a nice apology note explaining he used the product only in the two occasions he misplaced it because his own facewash was over, acknowledge he made something to upset her, and promise he would never do it again because from now on he would always have an extra bottle of his own facewash, and buy a new one when the extra was opened.
By the way, that’s what civilized people do with all toiletries and foodstuffs that don’t spoil too quickly, like sugar, flour and butter.
Mar 13, 2008 at 12:33 pm rating: 1
#28
Nate
I think Clint Eastwood is actually Claw. And it figures he’d be patting himself on the back.
I love all the macho men here who think that a man shouldn’t wash his face with anyhting less than gasoline. Posers.
Mar 13, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: 5
#29
Clinque Employee
Why is the roommate using a facial cleanser/makeup remover for dry skin while also using acne solutions?
… I’m sorry… I saw it, and I h-h-… I had to.
Mar 13, 2008 at 1:41 pm rating: 1
#30
GhostWriter
~ Select the best answer to complete the comparision ~
Clinique facial scrub is to Ivory soap as Starbucks coffee is to:
(a) Dial Soap
(b) Chock full o’ Nuts coffee
(c) Gasoline
(d) Lipton tea
(e) None of these aswers are correct
Mar 13, 2008 at 2:26 pm rating: 2
#31
claw71
Nate’s right. I have to admit that I’ve used some pretty fancy stuff in the past. Not too long ago my wife got on my case for using her Oil of Olay body wash. My penis looked 15 years younger!
However, I retained my man points because I farted in the shower while using it (you should have seen the bubbles! Those lipids retain great cohesive properties) and I pissed all over the toilet seat.
Mar 13, 2008 at 2:28 pm rating: 5
#32
Scott_M
In college I shared the bathroom with one roommate and two suitemates.
Soon I noticed that there were only three bars of soap and three sets of shampoo/conditioner in the bathroom. So, one of my suitemates did not even bother to BUY his own soap or shampoo – he was totally dependent on the other three of us.
And through discussions with my roommate, we determined that he was alternating between everyone’s stuff so could all share the burden. Pretty clever, I must admit.
My roommate and I decided to start taking our stuff out everyday. It was a pain but it saved me soap and shampoo. He had to start using his roommate’s stuff exclusively… and he never complained (or even left a PA note).
Mar 13, 2008 at 3:18 pm rating: 0
#33
Leeloo
That Clinique facewash was fucking delicious…I mean, expensive.
I’m sorry – that’s still my favorite thing ever.
Mar 13, 2008 at 3:51 pm rating: 2
#34
Kelly
Seriously. I’m a chick and I use some semi-fancy face products.
But does your face really need 928374293874 products?! What the hell?
Also, how much of her product was she using that she noticed him using it 3 times? Does she have them like alphabetically arranged?!
Team Stop Using So Many Fucking Parabens.
Mar 13, 2008 at 4:27 pm rating: 0
#35
goose
Matt. Just because it says ‘douche’ on the bottle, and you are a douche, does not make it yours.
Mar 13, 2008 at 5:42 pm rating: 2
#36
Heywood
“i’ll just make sure i never run out of anything ever again!”
What a freakin’ VICTIM. Woe is me. Wahh wahh wahhhhhh.
Dude, grow some pubes and stop using chick facial scrubs!
Mar 13, 2008 at 5:58 pm rating: 0
#37
Quite Contrary
I don’t miss having roommates. It was worse when they were right.
Mar 13, 2008 at 6:21 pm rating: 0
#38
Agent Inspired
To those who wonder why use a remover for dry skin as well as acne products… there’s such a thing as skin that is both oily and dry. Also, points to you keeners for actually zooming in far enough to read exactly what the products were.
For those who wondered why she noticed– he didn’t put the bottle back, so that much was obvious.
I had a roommate steal my laundry soap once– then water it down so I wouldn’t notice. I wasn’t amused.
And if Matt learns his lesson and picks her up another bottle of cleanser, I’m sure all is well.
Mar 13, 2008 at 9:59 pm rating: 0
#39
bamBAM!!
Acne seems to be the cause of all the world’s problems!
Mar 13, 2008 at 10:29 pm rating: 0
#40
Lurker
The more I think about it, I think Matt has a secret passion for NotMatt, and using her skin cream on his face is merely the closest he can hope to get to having her skin against his.
It’s all beautiful and sad and Cyranoid and shit.
Mar 14, 2008 at 7:25 am rating: 0
#41
Erica C
I wouldn’t even notice – seriously. It would have to be major for me to pick up on that kind of thing. I had a roommate falsely accuse me of using her fancy shampoo once. The week I moved out, I filled the bottle with water. It was incredibly satisfying.
Mar 14, 2008 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
#42
Cabezon
Amazon, Tea tree and lavender cause low testosterone in men and have been shown to lead to gynomastia in younger men. Don’t let him use tea tree. I loved it, and still have two huge bottles of shampoo and conditioner sitting wasting away.
Mar 15, 2008 at 2:07 pm rating: 0
#43
forsoothsayer
i only cleanse my face with soap, thus avoiding my roommate using any good face stuff. one of the few advantages of being arab, having good skin.
Mar 26, 2008 at 3:14 am rating: 0
#44
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Sep 6, 2008 at 5:52 pm rating: 1
#45 oh, please. do i look like someone who uses drugstore shampoo? | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] clarifying motion #2 extra credit: when in doubt, pout: 7 passive-aggressive roommate movies [...]
Sep 11, 2008 at 10:47 am rating: 0
#46
brooke
She can’t afford it because she bought up the whole Clinique store! How many Clinique products does one really need?
Sep 16, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: 0
#47
Shannon
She could afford to spare 1 or 2 pumps every so often if she didn’t have 8 different GIANT sized tubes.
Although the situation was handled well, the note is still funny.
Shannon
p.s. i use exclusively Clinique products and know they are not cheap that doesn’t mean YOU should be!
Oct 22, 2008 at 12:39 am rating: 0
#48
jackie
i would be pissed, too…clinique is expensive.
team facewash.
Nov 9, 2008 at 8:34 am rating: 0
#49 and i’m singing “uh oh” on a friday night
[...] related: clarifying motion #2 [...]
Nov 30, 2008 at 8:42 pm rating: 0
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