My secretary, Sybil

March 19th, 2008 · 126 comments

Dan spotted this triple-bonus-score of a note at the desk of a receptionist in MTV’s New York office. The craziest part, he says? “She leaves it up there all the time, just in case she calls in sick. It’s just up there, all day, in her face, reaffirming her violent disapproval for people invading her personal space.”

my secretary, sybil

related: where angels fear to spit

FILED UNDER: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · overzealous secretary · touching


126 responses so far ↓

  • #1   WhatACunt

    I left it on your desk allright…

    What makes her think it’s HER desk? MTV should’ve done a background check…

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      Should we really put it past this person to have brought in their personal desk?

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   fluffy8u

      Maybe she carved her name in it? Or perhaps she stole it from Jon in marketing? There is a good chance she built it from all the things she stole from others.

      Mar 24, 2009 at 2:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   sfadfklj

    she must have tons of vacation accrued or must have an unconventional day off each week. and if not? either way, the note is extreme.

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   sfadfklj

    and if you can’t touch anything on her desk, but she left everything you need on her desk, what the hell? –signed captain obvious

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Sue Do Nim bang

      Although everything you need is on her desk, you still do not have her permission to use it. She doesn’t mention her chair, but I don’t think you should sit on it. And don’t breathe her air. Let the phone ring, too.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 2:14 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Heidi

      hahahahahahhaha LOVE IT!

      Mar 20, 2008 at 1:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   anglophile bang

    It was nice of her to leave the double dose of Zoloft. I needed it after reading the note.

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Wade bang

    “DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING ON MY DESK”

    “STAY OUT OF MY WORK AREA”

    “I LEAVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED FOR THE DAY ON MY DESK”

    um, WTF?!?

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Wade bang

      LOL, sfadfklj

      I’m going to call it a tie. ;)

      Mar 19, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   sfadfklj

      yeah wade, i don’t think we’ve seen the last observation of said receptionist’s frenzy-induced contradictions.

      Mar 19, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   sfadfklj

      p.s. wade – my post was a few seconds before yours. i had not read your comment when I posted mine, so the captain obvious reference was for me :)

      Mar 19, 2008 at 11:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   hihi

    i’ll be here for a day and a half. i plan on having a touch fest.

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    “I leave everything that you need for the day on my desk” and “Do not touch anything on my desk”?

    “The stapler is right there! Don’t use my stapler!

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   ALA bang

      You can’t have my Swingline!

      Mar 20, 2008 at 6:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Sarah bang

      I bet she pulls a Milton Waddams if you try to touch it.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    From Bill Cosby, parent to child: Don’t talk when I’m talking to you! What’s wrong with you?!…ANSWER ME!!!!

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   anglophile bang

      Reminds me of a dippy parenting book my mom had. It cautioned you against getting in an argument with your child that might end with you shouting, “You’re not stupid, stupid!”

      What? You didn’t read the parenting books as a child? You have to know what you’re up against, you know.

      Mar 19, 2008 at 9:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      LOL…When I was a child Spock was just a Vulcan.
      Live long (if your Mom doesn’t find out what you did today) and prosper!

      Mar 19, 2008 at 9:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Pug Mom

      To Canthz -

      You know – I thought of Bill Cosby too. . . . “Shut UP. . . . Do you think I am talking to hear myself speak. . . . . . ANSWER ME!!!!!”

      HEE HEE HEE!!!

      Mar 19, 2008 at 11:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Mark

      But Dad, I’m Jesus Christ!
      :)

      Mar 20, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   GVI bang

      I have had something like that happen to me after a spanking :( I would be crying my ass off because of my beating and then my wonderful mother would tell me to hush.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 3:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Canthz_B bang

      Sure beats the “Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.” I’d get in department stores! :oops:

      Mar 20, 2008 at 5:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Quite Contrary

      My mother would never, ever yell at me like that in a department store. That threat was saved for the privacy of our own (dysfunctional) home.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 6:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Canthz_B bang

      That was the scariest part…she never yelled!
      Just said it in a matter of fact way that made it all the more true.
      One of the many reasons I love her so :-D

      Mar 20, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    If the fill-in person is there for two or more days, can they rearrange everything?

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:51 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   hihi

      i addressed this in #6. hopefully my post wasn’t misconstrued to have any other meaning.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 1:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   lola bang

      I took it to mean you were going to rub her stapler on your naughty bits.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 1:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Canthz_B bang

      And it was really funny, hihi.
      I just thought she would really freak out if everything was totally rearranged is all. :-D

      Mar 20, 2008 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Crash bang

    Ohhh….that’s why the temp just sit’s there staring at the ceiling and doesn’t answer the phone…or do anything else…

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   amy d bang

    Uhm, one question. How could anyone possibly get any work done without touching anything on/in her desk if they are subbing for her?

    Subplot of receptionist: Keeping her job secure from over-achieving temps.

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:58 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Sue Do Nim bang

      And you just know she bitches about The Temp Who Did Nothing.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 3:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Quite Contrary

      Au contraire. The temp spent the entire morning touching everything and moving it one millimeter to the right. In the afternoon, the temp moved everything one millimeter to the left. Underneath the stapler is a small note that says “Fuck you.” Meanwhile, all the phones went to voicemail.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Tyler bang

    If she leaves it up in case she gets sick, wouldn’t that mean she was also unprepared and didn’t “…LEAVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED FOR THE DAY ON [HER] DESK!!!!!!!!!!!”?

    Mar 19, 2008 at 9:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Lorelie

      She’s a receptionist. The phone’s always left on the desk.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 7:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   bigtime loser

      Unless it on the right ;)

      Mar 20, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Timmsterr

    I am here for two days and will be replaceing all YOUR stuff with MY stuff, so I would appriciate you not touching MY stuff. I’ll leave all of your stuff on my old desk. DON”T TOUCH MY OLD DESK.

    Mar 19, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Timmsterr

      Anyone else notice that the picture was taken on Leap Day? It all makes sense now!

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   anglophile bang

      Why, yes, I believe park rose, at #14 did make note of the date. ;)

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Timmsterr

      I was slow in typing and didn’t notice until after the fact. My apologies.

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   park rose bang

      No worries, Timmsterr. Just virtually simultaneous posting. :)

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   park rose bang

    If you are here for one day, and that one day happens to be Feb 29, which happens once every four years, that applies to you, too.

    Mar 19, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Heidi

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

      Mar 20, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    I wonder if she leaves the Poland Spring water and just who would dare drink any.

    Mar 19, 2008 at 10:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   morpho aurora bang

    this note would make me want to eat melted m&ms and leave colored fingerprints all over everything i could. :mrgreen:

    Mar 19, 2008 at 10:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   anglophile bang

      You clearly have the mind of an evil genius, morpho. I will start calling temp agencies world-wide to warn them against you. :P

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   morpho aurora bang

      why thank you ms glo! i’ve actually done the m&m finger prints before. for some reason it sends picky bitches straight up the wall! :D skittles work pretty well too.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 7:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   park rose bang

    See, I am not sure if that is a garter or not in the top left hand corner. Maybe not, because it seems to say Andrea’s Baby. But suppose it is a garter. Now a garter is pretty tame, but what else is she hiding in her desk that belongs to no-one but her?

    Mar 19, 2008 at 10:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   anglophile bang

      Is the object in the upper right a bra, or am I imagining things?

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   park rose bang

      Or the inside of a bra – cups, padding, etc…

      curiouser and curiouser

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   leelou

      I don’t believe it’s a bra cup, but I’m nearly positive that it’s Snoopy’s foot, and Snoopy is holding a little sign that says, “Every day is another chance to not touch Sybil’s things.”

      She probably got it as a present from her coworkers on the last day of her old job at ABC. Those scamps.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 6:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   ALA bang

      And why is there a ruffled bedskirt behind the note? Or maybe it’s some kind of curtain. In which case, I’m going with “Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain.”

      Mar 20, 2008 at 6:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Heidi

      Well bra, bed skirt or Snoopy’s foot..at least she left everything that we need to work without getting in the desk!

      Mar 20, 2008 at 1:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Crash bang

    If the note on the desk is from the receptionist and addressed to the temp…does that make the note on the desk the temp’s ?

    Mar 19, 2008 at 10:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      The only way to find that out would be for the temp to move it a few inches and enjoy the fallout. :evil:

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Crash bang

      I say the temp should leave a big, bright red lipstick kiss mark…thing…on the note… :D

      Mar 19, 2008 at 10:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Lorelie

      Canthz, unless she also left behind a nanny-cam the temp would never get to see the fallout. More’s the pity.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 7:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    Don’t we really have to give credit to the employee who purchases her own white-out, post-its, paper clips and staples? Manila envelopes and tabbed files and pens and stamp pads?
    These things belong to her, not MTV, and should be respected…say what? She didn’t buy them? Then fuck her! Use her supplies at will, in fact, distribute them to the office staff members who actually showed up at work!

    Mar 19, 2008 at 11:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Balti bang

    Team Glue-Everything-To-Her-Desk

    Mar 19, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Crash bang

      Oh I’d love to see the chair glued to her desk,
      that would be awesome…

      Mar 19, 2008 at 11:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   goose

    “I LEAVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED FOR THE DAY ON MY DESK”

    I searched and searched, but couldn’t find any crack cocaine OR prostitutes :(

    Mar 20, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Suhayla

      that’s because they’re IN the desk. Thank you for not looking inside.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 4:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Troy McClure bang

    Hi Sybil,

    Thanks for the use of your desk. I hope you’re feeling better. I got pasta sauce, grass stains, dirt and motor oil on all your nice things; you don’t mind, do you? I assumed today wasn’t the ONE DAY if I was here for which, you didn’t want me to touch your things. You would have said if you’d meant today, right?

    Thanks again,

    Bernice

    Mar 20, 2008 at 1:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Obstreperous B

    Finding this note would make me want to lick every single thing on or in the desk, à la Divine in Pink Flamingos.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 2:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Sundance bang

    Not ‘a’ favor, but ‘the’ favor. Like it’s the only one.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 2:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   secondsout bang

    So if I am here for two days, touching the things on her desk is fair game? Awesome!

    Mar 20, 2008 at 2:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Troy McClure bang

      You were just seconds out from being the first one to make that joke. About 16740 seconds. :smile:

      Mar 20, 2008 at 4:49 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   park rose bang

      Now, now, Mr. McClure… :D

      Mar 20, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   secondsout bang

      Ooh, damn. That’s what I get for skimming the notes. Good catch, Troy.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   RALPHY

    Sybil
    Sorry about the mess-I was sitting at your desk going thru all your stuff when I read your note -and to respect your wishes-ceased to touch anything. Except for Angie’s garter. Got a little excited and dribbled on your chair and the garter. To apologize, I left you a turd cicle in the fridge.
    Bernie

    Mar 20, 2008 at 7:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   claw71 bang

    Sybil is clearly a psychotic bitch but the fact that she’s still working in that office with her stupid note displayed in all its glory proves that Dan and the rest of the stooges working in that office are a bunch of punk-ass enablers.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 7:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Mishee bang

      claw, haven’t you ever applied for a job at MTV? Psychotic bitch is part of the job description…

      It’s MTV for Christ’s sake!

      Mar 20, 2008 at 7:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   RALPHY

      I completely agree-Everyday, I would take her sign down and turn her stapler around until she went beserk and quite or went postal and killed everyone. Wait—– maybe this is a bad idea. Never mind!

      Mar 20, 2008 at 7:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   claw71 bang

      No, Mishee, that’s pretentious bitch.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 7:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   claw71 bang

    I only have two rules for people using my desk:

    1. Leave the boogers stuck to my monitor alone. I’m saving those for later. Feel free to add your own, but don’t take what isn’t yours.

    2. Don’t lick the salt stains off my chair.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 7:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   GhostWriter bang

    Later the next day in Sybil’s cubicle…

    Sybil: ‘So, did you touch anything on my desk?”

    Temp: “No, ma’am.”

    Sybil: “I got a name for people who touch my stuff. That name is ‘encroachment’. Not a pretty name, is it?

    Temp: “No, ma’am, that’s one bonehead name, but it ain’t me.”

    Sybil: “You’re not just telling me what I want to hear?”

    Temp: “No ma’am, no way!”

    Sybil: ” ‘Cause I just wanna hear the truth.”

    Temp: “Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.”

    Sybil: “Boy, didn’t I just tell you not to do that?”

    Temp: “Yes ma’am.”

    Sybil: OK Then!

    Mar 20, 2008 at 8:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Mishee bang

      Little does she know that this conversation with the temp is actually just a conversastion with herself… this is Sybil for God’s sake!

      Mar 20, 2008 at 8:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Troy McClure bang

      Nicholas Cage’s finest moment. By a long way.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 9:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Mark

      I named my female cat Ed. Short for Edwina.

      Also, my “default music” that runs through my head is often the chase music from Nick Cage running through the convenience store with the Huggies.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 11:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   zoe

      Too bad Nicholas Cage is an enemy of all that is exquisite and meritorious.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   GhostWriter bang

    Why does anyone buy “Poland Springs” bottled water? Aren’t most Polish water sources permanently fouled from 40 years of unregulated Soviet pollution? It’s like naming your bottled water, “Chernobyl Creek”.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 8:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Mishee bang

    This is a great note for a leap day sighting…

    Mar 20, 2008 at 8:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Leasyon27

    Has anyone seen the Cheetos commercial that seems to address this a bit? The guy is walking thru the office eating Cheetos when he sees the office anal retentive’s cubicle. The Cheetos Cheetah then appears and urges him to screw with the cubicle. Guy then proceeds to put cheetos everywhere and smear the orangey goo left on his fingers all over the white surfaces of the cube.

    The commercial inspired me to do something similar at work for which I am now on probation for. :-D

    Check it out
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=zSmGLfY0arE

    Mar 20, 2008 at 8:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   zoe

      you are my hero.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Idman

    Ralphy -

    That turdcicle was delicious.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 8:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Writerrejected bang

    Temps have germs. That’s all she’s saying.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 10:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Centaurea

    I blame the modern corporate world for making her so possessive of what little non-private space is allotted to her. It makes us all a little crazy.

    Team Keep Your Hands Off My Desk

    Mar 20, 2008 at 10:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Canthz_B bang

      Agreed. Post-it note pads can be as valuable in the office as cigarettes are in B&W prison movies.
      And don’t touch my good pen or you’ll draw back a nub! :evil:

      Mar 20, 2008 at 11:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   tragically mep bang

      As long as they are Post-it Note brand sticky notes, they are valuable. But I hate it when you go to the supply cupboard and someone cheaped out and ordered the no-name brand.

      After that happens once, you learn the value of stockpiling the good stuff.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 2:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      why does it matter?

      Mar 20, 2008 at 2:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Sarah bang

    That water looks fucking delicious. Too bad it’s on her desk.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 10:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Canthz_B bang

    Can one of our resident artists parody “Get Off Of My Cloud”?
    I just can’t seem to hear The Stones well.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   unholyghost2003 bang

    What this note tells me is that Sibyl was a temp and enjoyed doing unspeakable things to the desks she sat at for a day.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 11:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   claw71 bang

    Get Out of My Desk


    I work in an office that won’t spring for a little desk lock

    And the drawers are too small so I have to leave some things out on top

    On days when I’m out they bring in all these useless hacks

    And they mess with stuff and put my desk out of whack.
    (chorus)
    I wrote: HEY! YOU! Stay out of my stuff.
    HEY! YOU! Stay out of my stuff.
    HEY! YOU! Stay out of my Stuff.
    Don’t bring your junk or dare to touch
    all my stuff, baby.

    That bottle of Poland Spring on the desk, well it’s mine

    And I’m tired of people messing with my things all the time

    It’s just one lousy day, why do you have to move in?

    And make a mess I’ll have to clean all over again?

    (Chorus)

    Nothing on this desk belongs to anybody else here but me

    So I wrote a note and put it up where you’d all see

    When I’m away you should know that the rules still apply

    Keep pushing me, go ahead, if you all want to die.

    (repeat chorus 2X)

    Mar 20, 2008 at 12:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Canthz_B bang

      I knew it was in there someplace!
      Thanx, claw. :-D

      Mar 20, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   claw71 bang

      Happy to oblige.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Jim - Just a Guy

    I can’t say I blame her. I used to have that problem if I got up to use the can.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 12:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Summer

    Barrack Obama will address the issues inherent in the message of this note, tonight at 7pm on channel four.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Writerrejected bang

      Hilary will just bitch slap her back into sanity.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 5:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   Canthz_B bang

      Nader will whine about her, while McCain takes the opportunity to say how he shared with fellow POWs 40 years ago.
      We know he hid rice in his shorts…there’s a grain now! Oh, wait…that’s not rice. :shock:

      Mar 20, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.3   Writerrejected bang

      Bill Clinton would…well, everyone knows what he’d do to assauge her fears of inappropriate touching in the office.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.4   Canthz_B bang

      He is sort of running again, Bill is.
      We know we could have taken broccoli from Geo. H.W. Bush, but were Reagan’s jelly beans off limits?

      Mar 20, 2008 at 10:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.5   Canthz_B bang

      Makes one wonder what the various PM’s hold dear.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 10:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.6   park rose bang

      Fishnet stockings and high-heeled shoes, sexy man-size ladies’ lingerie (all bar Thatcher). Kept IN the desk, large drawer(s) down the bottom. :)

      Mar 20, 2008 at 11:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   secondsout bang

    Maybe this is typical of everyone who works at MTV. I wonder what crazy shit is in Kurt Loder’s desk. Maybe notes from old staff meetings where instead of paying attention, he was plotting Carson Daly’s death.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 1:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Bryan

      Kurt Loder’s got a human hand in his desk. Don’t ask him about it!

      I would be tempted to rearrange stuff on this person’s desk.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   Sara

    Call me crazy, but this sounds like something Lauren Conrad would have on her desk.

    And yes, that’s a “Hills” reference. And yes, I am ashamed.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 2:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Quite Contrary

    What is it with DEO’s and receptionists? They are there to allegedly help the team and do little but terrorize us all.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 3:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   GVI bang

    In a time like this is where I would touch all the stuff on her desk and simply leave another note telling her that I did… just so I can see her reaction.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Suhayla

    So, the stuff IN her desk isn’t necessary for doing her job. Perhaps she should just have a table. OR, perhaps she could get all the clutter off the top of her desk by getting her makeup and magazines OUT of the desk.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Tae

    I think someone should Cheeto her desk.

    Mar 20, 2008 at 5:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Writerrejected bang

      Definitely. Bright orange finger prints all over her things! Plus Cheetoing someone’s personal space is also a yummy project.

      Mar 20, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Canthz_B bang

    :idea: Why would you leave everything needed for the day on your desk and demand that folks stay out of your work area unless The Amazing Kreskin is your substitute? Canthz_B?

    Mar 20, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   GhostWriter bang

      - – hold up! Did you just reveal the origins of your name? I have been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #49   yo mtv raps

    the real story here is that this woman calls in sick enough times that needs a note. Yet another example of how MTV destroys…

    Mar 21, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   mmm

    Temps pilfer, that’s what we do. Why do you think we take short term assignments? To play detective in our own small world. We need to know you after all, we write stories about you. We need to figure out who Amanda is and why she had a baby shower garter. Did she steal your man and get pregnant and have a wedding shower and baby shower on the same day and you, Sybil were forced to attend? How are we going to figure out what kind of person does that, Sybil- unless we look through your desk drawer, the one right at your lap and reach all the way back in the lowest filing drawer?

    Mar 21, 2008 at 10:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Team Cassandra bang

    I’m so confused. Do I find what I need on the desk or is there nothing I need on the desk…? It’s so confusing…I was only going to pop in quickly but this is….it’s like the Cheshire Cat of notes…or the Rabbit…or like the Queen of Hearts! I had to see…I had to know if, in 111 posts, someone could decipher it… I wonder what treasure I might find!

    I will begin…

    #1 WhataCunt…

    Mar 21, 2008 at 10:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   zoe

    I wonder that she hasn’t jumped off a cliff yet…seeing that proof of how crazy/mean she was every single day- you’d think it would drive her to drastic measures.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   ewonk

    that was funny

    Isn’t it common for desks to have locks? Everywhere I’ve worked, the person who would normally sit at any particular desk typically has a key to the desk drawers etc.

    Seems like MTV could afford to implement a solution like that.

    Mar 22, 2008 at 3:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   anonymous in NYC

    If its her desk, why would someone else be sitting there?

    Mar 22, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Agent Inspired

    I think it’s time to rearrange the entire desk, starting with removing and replacing all the keys on the keyboard, and finishing with a neatly written PAN in bright yellow ink signed with lots of hearts and stars dotting the i’s and j’s.

    Mar 24, 2008 at 6:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   goody

    Lighten up, Frances.

    Mar 26, 2008 at 4:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Skanky Skeeze

    I’m confused. It says to stay off her desk then it ends with it saying “I leave everything that you need for the day on my desk”…so if you have to keep away from her desk, how are you supposed to get the stuff you need to work?

    Apr 2, 2008 at 12:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Skeltz

    This is the funniest, most contradictory note I have ever seen. I guess the temp has to throw shit at the desk to knock the required materials off of it, where it can be accessed without repercussions.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 11:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   armywife

    Obviously none of you posters are secretaries.

    Jun 28, 2009 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Seniorenhandys

    yeah! always be prepared ^^

    Oct 15, 2009 at 3:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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