dan spotted this triple-bonus-score of a note at the desk of a receptionist in MTV’s new york office. the craziest part, he says? “she leaves it up there all the time, just in case she calls in sick. it’s just up there, all day, in her face, reaffirming her violent disapproval for people invading her personal space.”
related: where angels fear to spit
126 responses so far ↓
#1
WhatACunt
I left it on your desk allright…
What makes her think it’s HER desk? MTV should’ve done a background check…
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:33 pm rating: +1
#2
sfadfklj
she must have tons of vacation accrued or must have an unconventional day off each week. and if not? either way, the note is extreme.
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:39 pm rating: +1
#3
sfadfklj
and if you can’t touch anything on her desk, but she left everything you need on her desk, what the hell? –signed captain obvious
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:41 pm rating: +26
#4
anglophile
It was nice of her to leave the double dose of Zoloft. I needed it after reading the note.
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:41 pm rating: +6
#5
Wade
“DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING ON MY DESK”
“STAY OUT OF MY WORK AREA”
“I LEAVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED FOR THE DAY ON MY DESK”
um, WTF?!?
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:41 pm rating: +3
#6
hihi
i’ll be here for a day and a half. i plan on having a touch fest.
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:43 pm rating: +11
#7
Canthz_B
“I leave everything that you need for the day on my desk” and “Do not touch anything on my desk”?
“The stapler is right there! Don’t use my stapler!“
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:44 pm rating: +5
#8
Canthz_B
From Bill Cosby, parent to child: Don’t talk when I’m talking to you! What’s wrong with you?!…ANSWER ME!!!!
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:49 pm rating: +5
#9
Canthz_B
If the fill-in person is there for two or more days, can they rearrange everything?
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:51 pm rating: +6
#10
Crash
Ohhh….that’s why the temp just sit’s there staring at the ceiling and doesn’t answer the phone…or do anything else…
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:58 pm rating: +6
#11
amy d
Uhm, one question. How could anyone possibly get any work done without touching anything on/in her desk if they are subbing for her?
Subplot of receptionist: Keeping her job secure from over-achieving temps.
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:58 pm rating: +11
#12
Tyler
If she leaves it up in case she gets sick, wouldn’t that mean she was also unprepared and didn’t “…LEAVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED FOR THE DAY ON [HER] DESK!!!!!!!!!!!”?
Mar 19, 2008 at 9:59 pm rating: +5
#13
Timmsterr
I am here for two days and will be replaceing all YOUR stuff with MY stuff, so I would appriciate you not touching MY stuff. I’ll leave all of your stuff on my old desk. DON”T TOUCH MY OLD DESK.
Mar 19, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: +1
#14
park rose
If you are here for one day, and that one day happens to be Feb 29, which happens once every four years, that applies to you, too.
Mar 19, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: +7
#15
Canthz_B
I wonder if she leaves the Poland Spring water and just who would dare drink any.
Mar 19, 2008 at 10:07 pm rating: +1
#16
morpho aurora
this note would make me want to eat melted m&ms and leave colored fingerprints all over everything i could.
Mar 19, 2008 at 10:14 pm rating: +8
#17
park rose
See, I am not sure if that is a garter or not in the top left hand corner. Maybe not, because it seems to say Andrea’s Baby. But suppose it is a garter. Now a garter is pretty tame, but what else is she hiding in her desk that belongs to no-one but her?
Mar 19, 2008 at 10:14 pm rating: +2
#18
Crash
If the note on the desk is from the receptionist and addressed to the temp…does that make the note on the desk the temp’s ?
Mar 19, 2008 at 10:37 pm rating: +1
#19
Canthz_B
Don’t we really have to give credit to the employee who purchases her own white-out, post-its, paper clips and staples? Manila envelopes and tabbed files and pens and stamp pads?
These things belong to her, not MTV, and should be respected…say what? She didn’t buy them? Then fuck her! Use her supplies at will, in fact, distribute them to the office staff members who actually showed up at work!
Mar 19, 2008 at 11:03 pm rating: +2
#20
Balti
Team Glue-Everything-To-Her-Desk
Mar 19, 2008 at 11:43 pm rating: +2
#21
goose
“I LEAVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED FOR THE DAY ON MY DESK”
I searched and searched, but couldn’t find any crack cocaine OR prostitutes
Mar 20, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: +2
#22
Troy McClure
Hi Sybil,
Thanks for the use of your desk. I hope you’re feeling better. I got pasta sauce, grass stains, dirt and motor oil on all your nice things; you don’t mind, do you? I assumed today wasn’t the ONE DAY if I was here for which, you didn’t want me to touch your things. You would have said if you’d meant today, right?
Thanks again,
Bernice
Mar 20, 2008 at 1:37 am rating: +1
#23
Obstreperous B
Finding this note would make me want to lick every single thing on or in the desk, à la Divine in Pink Flamingos.
Mar 20, 2008 at 2:06 am rating: +1
#24
Sundance
Not ‘a’ favor, but ‘the’ favor. Like it’s the only one.
Mar 20, 2008 at 2:17 am rating: +2
#25
secondsout
So if I am here for two days, touching the things on her desk is fair game? Awesome!
Mar 20, 2008 at 2:22 am rating: 0
#26
RALPHY
Sybil
Sorry about the mess-I was sitting at your desk going thru all your stuff when I read your note -and to respect your wishes-ceased to touch anything. Except for Angie’s garter. Got a little excited and dribbled on your chair and the garter. To apologize, I left you a turd cicle in the fridge.
Bernie
Mar 20, 2008 at 7:21 am rating: 0
#27
claw71
Sybil is clearly a psychotic bitch but the fact that she’s still working in that office with her stupid note displayed in all its glory proves that Dan and the rest of the stooges working in that office are a bunch of punk-ass enablers.
Mar 20, 2008 at 7:29 am rating: 0
#28
claw71
I only have two rules for people using my desk:
1. Leave the boogers stuck to my monitor alone. I’m saving those for later. Feel free to add your own, but don’t take what isn’t yours.
2. Don’t lick the salt stains off my chair.
Mar 20, 2008 at 7:44 am rating: 0
#29
GhostWriter
Later the next day in Sybil’s cubicle…
Sybil: ‘So, did you touch anything on my desk?”
Temp: “No, ma’am.”
Sybil: “I got a name for people who touch my stuff. That name is ‘encroachment’. Not a pretty name, is it?
Temp: “No, ma’am, that’s one bonehead name, but it ain’t me.”
Sybil: “You’re not just telling me what I want to hear?”
Temp: “No ma’am, no way!”
Sybil: ” ‘Cause I just wanna hear the truth.”
Temp: “Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.”
Sybil: “Boy, didn’t I just tell you not to do that?”
Temp: “Yes ma’am.”
Sybil: OK Then!
Mar 20, 2008 at 8:09 am rating: +3
#30
GhostWriter
Why does anyone buy “Poland Springs” bottled water? Aren’t most Polish water sources permanently fouled from 40 years of unregulated Soviet pollution? It’s like naming your bottled water, “Chernobyl Creek”.
Mar 20, 2008 at 8:21 am rating: +4
#31
Mishee
This is a great note for a leap day sighting…
Mar 20, 2008 at 8:23 am rating: 0
#32
Leasyon27
Has anyone seen the Cheetos commercial that seems to address this a bit? The guy is walking thru the office eating Cheetos when he sees the office anal retentive’s cubicle. The Cheetos Cheetah then appears and urges him to screw with the cubicle. Guy then proceeds to put cheetos everywhere and smear the orangey goo left on his fingers all over the white surfaces of the cube.
The commercial inspired me to do something similar at work for which I am now on probation for.
Check it out
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zSmGLfY0arE
Mar 20, 2008 at 8:39 am rating: +2
#33
Idman
Ralphy -
That turdcicle was delicious.
Mar 20, 2008 at 8:49 am rating: 0
#34
Writerrejected
Temps have germs. That’s all she’s saying.
Mar 20, 2008 at 10:07 am rating: +2
#35
Centaurea
I blame the modern corporate world for making her so possessive of what little non-private space is allotted to her. It makes us all a little crazy.
Team Keep Your Hands Off My Desk
Mar 20, 2008 at 10:37 am rating: +3
#36
Sarah
That water looks fucking delicious. Too bad it’s on her desk.
Mar 20, 2008 at 10:57 am rating: +1
#37
Canthz_B
Can one of our resident artists parody “Get Off Of My Cloud”?
I just can’t seem to hear The Stones well.
Mar 20, 2008 at 11:12 am rating: 0
#38
unholyghost2003
What this note tells me is that Sibyl was a temp and enjoyed doing unspeakable things to the desks she sat at for a day.
Mar 20, 2008 at 11:39 am rating: +1
#39
claw71
Get Out of My Desk
I work in an office that won’t spring for a little desk lock
And the drawers are too small so I have to leave some things out on top
On days when I’m out they bring in all these useless hacks
And they mess with stuff and put my desk out of whack.
(chorus)
I wrote: HEY! YOU! Stay out of my stuff.
HEY! YOU! Stay out of my stuff.
HEY! YOU! Stay out of my Stuff.
Don’t bring your junk or dare to touch
all my stuff, baby.
That bottle of Poland Spring on the desk, well it’s mine
And I’m tired of people messing with my things all the time
It’s just one lousy day, why do you have to move in?
And make a mess I’ll have to clean all over again?
(Chorus)
Nothing on this desk belongs to anybody else here but me
So I wrote a note and put it up where you’d all see
When I’m away you should know that the rules still apply
Keep pushing me, go ahead, if you all want to die.
(repeat chorus 2X)
Mar 20, 2008 at 12:06 pm rating: +2
#40
Jim - Just a Guy
I can’t say I blame her. I used to have that problem if I got up to use the can.
Mar 20, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#41
Summer
Barrack Obama will address the issues inherent in the message of this note, tonight at 7pm on channel four.
Mar 20, 2008 at 1:29 pm rating: +1
#42
secondsout
Maybe this is typical of everyone who works at MTV. I wonder what crazy shit is in Kurt Loder’s desk. Maybe notes from old staff meetings where instead of paying attention, he was plotting Carson Daly’s death.
Mar 20, 2008 at 1:44 pm rating: 0
#43
Sara
Call me crazy, but this sounds like something Lauren Conrad would have on her desk.
And yes, that’s a “Hills” reference. And yes, I am ashamed.
Mar 20, 2008 at 2:40 pm rating: 0
#44
Quite Contrary
What is it with DEO’s and receptionists? They are there to allegedly help the team and do little but terrorize us all.
Mar 20, 2008 at 3:52 pm rating: +1
#45
GVI
In a time like this is where I would touch all the stuff on her desk and simply leave another note telling her that I did… just so I can see her reaction.
Mar 20, 2008 at 3:53 pm rating: +1
#46
Suhayla
So, the stuff IN her desk isn’t necessary for doing her job. Perhaps she should just have a table. OR, perhaps she could get all the clutter off the top of her desk by getting her makeup and magazines OUT of the desk.
Mar 20, 2008 at 4:57 pm rating: +1
#47
Tae
I think someone should Cheeto her desk.
Mar 20, 2008 at 5:37 pm rating: 0
#48
Canthz_B
Mar 20, 2008 at 6:24 pm rating: 0
#49
yo mtv raps
the real story here is that this woman calls in sick enough times that needs a note. Yet another example of how MTV destroys…
Mar 21, 2008 at 9:09 am rating: +1
#50
mmm
Temps pilfer, that’s what we do. Why do you think we take short term assignments? To play detective in our own small world. We need to know you after all, we write stories about you. We need to figure out who Amanda is and why she had a baby shower garter. Did she steal your man and get pregnant and have a wedding shower and baby shower on the same day and you, Sybil were forced to attend? How are we going to figure out what kind of person does that, Sybil- unless we look through your desk drawer, the one right at your lap and reach all the way back in the lowest filing drawer?
Mar 21, 2008 at 10:32 am rating: +1
#51
Team Cassandra
I’m so confused. Do I find what I need on the desk or is there nothing I need on the desk…? It’s so confusing…I was only going to pop in quickly but this is….it’s like the Cheshire Cat of notes…or the Rabbit…or like the Queen of Hearts! I had to see…I had to know if, in 111 posts, someone could decipher it… I wonder what treasure I might find!
I will begin…
#1 WhataCunt…
Mar 21, 2008 at 10:33 am rating: +1
#52
zoe
I wonder that she hasn’t jumped off a cliff yet…seeing that proof of how crazy/mean she was every single day- you’d think it would drive her to drastic measures.
Mar 21, 2008 at 12:50 pm rating: 0
#53
ewonk
that was funny
Isn’t it common for desks to have locks? Everywhere I’ve worked, the person who would normally sit at any particular desk typically has a key to the desk drawers etc.
Seems like MTV could afford to implement a solution like that.
Mar 22, 2008 at 3:33 pm rating: 0
#54
anonymous in NYC
If its her desk, why would someone else be sitting there?
Mar 22, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 0
#55
Agent Inspired
…
I think it’s time to rearrange the entire desk, starting with removing and replacing all the keys on the keyboard, and finishing with a neatly written PAN in bright yellow ink signed with lots of hearts and stars dotting the i’s and j’s.
Mar 24, 2008 at 6:07 pm rating: 0
#56
goody
Lighten up, Frances.
Mar 26, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: 0
#57
Skanky Skeeze
I’m confused. It says to stay off her desk then it ends with it saying “I leave everything that you need for the day on my desk”…so if you have to keep away from her desk, how are you supposed to get the stuff you need to work?
Apr 2, 2008 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#58
Skeltz
This is the funniest, most contradictory note I have ever seen. I guess the temp has to throw shit at the desk to knock the required materials off of it, where it can be accessed without repercussions.
Apr 2, 2008 at 11:59 pm rating: +3
#59
armywife
Obviously none of you posters are secretaries.
Jun 28, 2009 at 8:48 pm rating: 0
#60
Seniorenhandys
yeah! always be prepared ^^
Oct 15, 2009 at 3:58 pm rating: 0
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