Everything you hate about office culture, in one cringe-inducing note.

March 21st, 2008 · 121 comments

This note represents pretty much everything about office culture that makes me cringe. Appropriately enough, I can’t even bring myself to call out the specifics — it’s just too overwhelming. (But the sign will always be there…every day, taunting me.)

PLEASE MAKE SURE I AM CLOSED I HAVE ALOT OF FOODS IN MY BELLY I DON'T WANT TO GET WARM!

FILED UNDER: alot · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · fridge · inane cartoon · kinda creepy · mixed metaphors · most popular notes of 2008 · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · U.K.


121 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Tyler bang

    “Alot” of people use apostrophes when they spell dont….I guess they couldn’t remember if “I am” is “Im” or “I’m”, so they just decided to be safe :)

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   amazon bang

      I like to mark up PA notes with bad spelling and grammar with a fat red pen. They get taken down pretty quickly.

      Although, I’m pretty sure this one needs a pink penis drawn on it, just for good measure.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 4:53 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Amy

      blah blah blah

      Mar 22, 2008 at 10:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   cre8tivewmn bang

    Ack! Garfield cartoon, cutsie personification of mechanical object, condescending remarks to other office workers, overuse of color, all caps–it’s a PAN sweep!

    This note writer has been doing her homework!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:22 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   cre8tivewmn bang

    You’re right, Tyler, I didn’t see the missing apostrophe at first. Missing spaces too. And the Garfield cartoon is about being fat. This note gets better and better!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Joe

    I actually thought it was kinda funny, and not at all aggressive. It’s the sort of note I wouldn’t mind having around to chuckle at, if it weren’t pointing out something so brutally obvious.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   isidro

    I wish I had a alot of foods. I have seen worse notes on the fridge of my workplace. I wish I had taken a pic of the best one I’ve ever seen talking about “If you think you’re food has any chance of becoming putrid or particularly vile, your mother is NOT here, so THROW IT OUT!!!!!!”

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Sarah bang

      That’s actually an amazing passive-aggressive note. It can be interpreted the normal way, or the crude way: “Putrid or particularly vile food? How utterly perfect for your mom! But, yeah, she isn’t here, so throw it out, k?”

      Mar 21, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   lritz

      As a Mom, I can say that I just can’t wait to get my hands on some putrid or vile food.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   poopyface

      THANK YOU TERRY

      Apr 24, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Writerrejected bang

    I have lots of foods in my belly too and I’d like to vomit the foods all up on the person who wrote this ridiculous note without ever using any punctuation

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   EvilTwin

      YES! Please, people! Punctuation is your friend! (“!” denotes desperate urging, here. See? Punctuation works.)

      Mar 21, 2008 at 12:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Balti

      That makes me want to regurgitate to no extent all the way.

      Also, I can’t get the pic big enough to read Garfield… can anyone tell me what it says?

      Mar 21, 2008 at 3:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   GarfieldSux

      No, we can’t.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Wade bang

    So, in the note writer mind, is it a refrigerator or a regurgitator? :P

    Mar 21, 2008 at 12:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   claw71 bang

    There are two reasons the refrigerator door gets left open:

    1. Somebody was too lazy or preoccupied to make sure it was closed.

    2. A devious prick like claw71 saw this note and escalated the passive aggressive festivities.

    Given those facts I conclude after careful consideration that notes such as this, even with a played out Garfield cartoon attempting to inject levity into the situation, are counterproductive at best.

    By the way, I think that the cartoon is a pretty good sign this person is on the verge of a breakdown. It’s classic overcompensation. I can smell the rage.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   secondsout bang

    Again with these fridges that aren’t closed! Aren’t most refrigerator doors weighted to close on their own??

    Mar 21, 2008 at 12:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Sarah bang

    Simple solution: open door, eat “foods”. Then the note-writer won’t have to worry about the fridge being closed!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 12:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   secondsout bang

    Does anyone else hate Garfield as much as I do? I remember thinking Garfield was funny back in 1985, when I was 6 years old, and Garfield was still somewhat fresh. Now it’s almost 30 years worth of rehashed jokes about being fat, eating lasagna, sleeping, the owner being a douchebag, and Garfield beating up the dog. Fuck Garfield!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   EvilTwin

      You should check out LasagnaCat.com sometime. It’s basically some guy that reenacts actual Garfield cartoons live action. The result is an idea of how unfunny the strip really was. Then delight in an odd music video featuring garfield characters. Weird, but funny. Here’s a good one:
      http://www.lasagnacat.com/FinalFantasy.mov

      Mar 21, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Izzy

      I never understood how Garfield was supposed to be funny.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 1:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   secondsout bang

      Sadly, there are numerous comic strips even worse than Garfield. Marmaduke, Marvin, Snuffy Smith, and the Family Circus immediately come to mind.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 1:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Canthz_B bang

      All of those are great for “taking a crap reading”!

      Mar 21, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   secondsout bang

      Personally, I prefer “The Onion” for extended sessions on the throne. And I’d always rather read Red Meat than Garfield.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 2:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Canthz_B bang

      I like Garfield. I like any cartoon character who is obviously high on weed and has the munchies.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   amazon bang

      Oddly enough, Garfield is WAY funnier without Garfield.

      http://nogarfield.ytmnd.com/

      Because schizophrenia is Hi-larious!

      (d-bag music on the site, you may wanna turn your sound down, or up, depending on how much you like your neighbors)

      Mar 21, 2008 at 4:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Heidi

      Amazon!! That was soo funny!!!

      Mar 21, 2008 at 4:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   GarfieldSux

      I can’t believe ANYONE here is surprised that Canthz likes Garfield. It may not be the worst comic strip ever but it’s certainly the worst to have lasted more than a generation.

      On the other hand, I wouldn’t even wipe my ass with “Marmaduke”.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   leelou

      I’d take Garfield over Cathy *any* day.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   GarfieldSux

      See below.

      Although that is sort of like saying, “I’d take being suffocated over being starved to death”.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   Canthz_B bang

      Actually, GarfieldSux, I was just making a joke. That’s what we do here. I don’t read the comics as I prefer more challenging material. You go right ahead and be the resident comic critic.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 11:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   bamBAM!! bang

      I’d rather not quote myself, but remember the whole asshole thing, Sux??

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   web diversions

      If you want to browse all of the Garfield Minus Garfield cartoons (and avoid the annoying music) the blog they come from is

      http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

      you can also see a review of it at

      http://webdiversions.blogspot.com/2008/03/garfield-without-garfield.html

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   GhostWriter bang

    If only they had cut out the food-belly line and comic, and replaced it with, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

    …and a pic of Khan.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   claw71 bang

    They should do like my dad did:

    Whenever the refrigerator door wasn’t shut all the way he’d line all for of us kids up and whip us with the belt. To this day if I start to walk away from a fridge without pushing on the door to make sure it sealed I feel searing pain in the scars on my ass.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    A belly is a poor place to put food one wishes to keep cold.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 1:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   pry

    first off, thanks for stating the obvious. what? the food in there is supposed to be COLD? oh, i get it now.

    second, all this is missing is a cathy cartoon.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   GarfieldSux

      …and I wouldn’t even wipe someone else’s ass with “Cathy”. Pure shite.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   leelou

      I totally didn’t read far enough down; sorry about that. I bet Cathy wrote this damn note herself!

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   bamBAM!! bang

    So, I guess refrigerators must be reptiles, cause they can’t possibly be warm-blooded.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   pistola

    Wow, I mean…wow. I can’t believe the person who wrote this is employed. I don’t even know where to start. They should put the note writer’s desk near the fridge so she/he can punish anyone who dares to not shut the door completely.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 1:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   bamBAM!! bang

      Actually, pistola, it was a fridge. Not a person.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 7:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   claw71 bang

    Harry Chapin, please forgive me…

    A child arrived just the other day
    got his lousy job in the usual way
    kissed a little ass, faked a resume
    hit the right points, started right away

    Posting notes before you knew it, he’s such a tool

    He wrote the fridge belly must be cool
    He said the fridge belly must be cool

    And the fat cat’s onthe message in the break room.
    Weird vodoo talking for the refrigerator too
    My belly’s got your goodies try to keep it cool
    Cause Garfield’s watching you.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 2:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   RandyinReno

      Nice, Claw!

      Mar 21, 2008 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    How am I supposed to enjoy my lunch now that it has been in the belly of the fridge?

    Beyond that, this note can be very effective.
    For those with a fear of talking appliances, that is!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    If refrigerators keep food in their bellies, do vending machines dispense from their wombs?
    Is that stuck bag of pretzels a breech birth?

    Mar 21, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   claw71 bang

      Have you tasted food from a vending machine?

      I’d say that’s coming out of the machine’s ass.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 2:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Suhayla

      Are you saying it tastes better than vagina, or worse?

      Mar 21, 2008 at 3:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Canthz_B bang

      Nothing tastes better than vagina,’cept maybe vagina with honey.

      (You had to be there)

      Mar 21, 2008 at 3:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Canthz_B bang

      Hey, claw…ya gotta take the food from the front of the machine! LMAO
      You rock. Nice Chapin work, BTW!

      Mar 21, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   SexyNinjaMonkey

      Wow, i’m going to have trouble putting my hand in the hole in the vending machine to get my coke after reading that one… Bad Images!!!

      Aug 19, 2008 at 8:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Suhayla

    I want to punch that baby-talking notewriter in the back of the head.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 3:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Agargara

    The multi-colored text is a nice touch.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Heidi

    OHHH puke!! Thats terrible!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 4:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Quite Contrary

    Is the temp from MTV even allowed to touch the refrigerator?

    Mar 21, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Canthz_B bang

      Only if it’s in her work area! ;-)

      Mar 21, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   YourUndoing

    Holy crap. Please let this fridge be at a pre-school. Or E! channel studio. Whichever.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 5:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   anglophile bang

    People, that is not even a real Garfield! It is an editorial cartoon, by Gary Varvel of the Indianapolis Star if my handwriting analysis skills are at all competent. I noticed it wasn’t Jim Davis’ annoying signature with the circle dots over the i’s.

    So the big question is, why is this note tagged UK? Is the note from the UK, and if so, how would someone from the UK get a hold of a Indianapolis newspaper’s editorial cartoon, and, more disturbingly, what is the significance of a lame cartoon about Overweight Hoosiers to this UK office? If the note is not from the UK, why has it been tagged so?

    So confusing!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 7:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Suhayla

      The lazy bastard probably just googled “garfield” and this was the first image to come up. It’s just so… uninspired. This note is only made worse by the author’s apparent illiteracy (due to lazyness, I assume).

      Mar 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   IlliteracySuxToo

      So, then, what would explain YOUR inability to spell “laziness” correctly? How ironic.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   bamBAM!! bang

      You know, IllitereracySuxToo, there’s a difference between trying to correct people, being nitpicky, and being an ass.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Wade bang

    That refrigerator must be part of Amana’s Fat Bastard line.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 8:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   amy d bang

      Obviously, since it’s dead sexy.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 9:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   bamBAM!! bang

    Was the illegible Garfield comic really necessary? I mean, wasn’t separating a five line note into three paragraphs enough irritatingness????

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   IlliteracySuxToo

      “Irritatingness”? Seriously? And what would the third paragraph be – the comic? Yeesh.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   bamBAM!! bang

      Did you happen to catch the note on the microwave about leftover time and OCD? Did u happen two right itt?

      Mar 22, 2008 at 9:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   tlyzer bang

    This note is so annoying and juvenile, if it’s not on a refrigerator at a daycare, then it must have been written by a former daycare worker. She probably hands out one of those gold star stickers to anyone she sees closing the refrigerator door.

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   shelly

    i tell my students,
    “you don’t write ‘alittle’, so don’t write ‘alot.’”

    a lot
    TWO WORDS!

    Mar 21, 2008 at 11:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   IlliteracySuxToo

      i don’t have students but if i did i would tell them to CAPITALIZE THE FRIGGING “I”. That would seem to me to be a more egregious error than spelling “alot” without a space – debatable though that may be.

      Mar 21, 2008 at 11:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   shelly

      baby, it’s a comment on a website. i don’t capitalize on these things– it’s not for a grade and i’m not teaching the kiddies. be happy!

      Mar 22, 2008 at 4:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   SpellingSucksSuxSucksToo

      I can’t. Everything sux.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 5:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   ALA bang

      Perhaps some Prozac & an anger management class?

      Mar 22, 2008 at 6:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   bamBAM!! bang

      Not the Prozac!! He/she will become dependent, them go shoot up some special ed grammar classes when he/she stops taking it!! Screw it, that’ll happen with or without depression meds.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 9:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.6   park rose bang

      I agree. Best if Sux stays off the Prozac. It’s a bitch rendering the special ed grammar students small enough and liquid enough for the syringe to do its thing.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 10:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.7   amy d bang

      8-O

      Rose, I can’t get that picture out of my head now.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 4:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Laurie Kendrick

    This note, along with cutesy, unfunny prose and Mommie Blogs are all on the same ridiculous level as far as I’m concerned.

    Anthropomorphizing the inanimate can be funny…if written with real humor and proper attitude is applied. I CAN HAZ GRILLED CHEEZ ain’t it.

    Then the whole magilla is exacerbated by misspellings and misspells.

    If I were to happen on this note on my job, I would have to remove it and then search high and low for the its author. Then, I would take all the “warm foods” that were the end result of the fridge door being left open for hours, because there was no sign to remind the Nimrods to close the door in the first place, and shove it up his or her unenlightened ass.

    Fine, I’ll dispense with being polite and generous.

    On a lighter note: I love this blog. Linked to it on mine and read it daily.

    LK

    Mar 22, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   shelly

      pssst-
      it’s = it is
      its = the possessive form. no apostrophe.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 10:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   amy d bang

      Wow. Either I never knew that or I had forgotten. Thanks Shelly.

      Mar 22, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Canthz_B bang

      #31…Does someone with their brains in their ass truly have an enlightened sphincter? :eek:

      Mar 22, 2008 at 6:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Sam

    What gets me are the three different colors that are used.

    Also, whoever did the Harry Chapin piece (I forget, sorry!), you have won my undying love and affection.

    Furthermore, I’m actually amazed that whoever wrote this note didn’t add at least five more exclamation marks to it.

    Mar 22, 2008 at 10:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   bamBAM!! bang

    Could everyone please SHUT UP about the whole grammar thing, like okay! We get it!! It’s the internet, relax, children!!

    Mar 22, 2008 at 3:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Wade bang

      bB

      I do not believe you have made correct use of the comma in your last sentence.

      ;)

      Mar 22, 2008 at 3:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   bamBAM!! bang

      Goddammit!! It was three fragments and shit!! I can refrain from using little pointless curved lines if I want to!!

      Is censoring censorship hypocricy? Just wonderin’(my lack of a period is due to my lack of a sentence, bitches)

      Mar 22, 2008 at 10:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   bamBAM!! bang

      Btw, the first comma was to add a little unnecessary portion, like the following: I went to the store, which was open. The “which was open” was the unnecessary part. The second comma was to address the children, like the following: Listen, Jeffrey!! Got it? Good. Yesterday, I took a sharpie to the sign at Dominick’s that said, “digital prints: .25 cents,” so I understand your urges, but the Internet, really?

      Mar 22, 2008 at 10:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   park rose bang

      I think Wade just wanted to give you a reason to write some more, bB :) :) :) You’ve been a little quiet and reticent of late.

      You(‘)r(e) fun.

      Did I get the order of your initials correct?

      Mar 23, 2008 at 12:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   park rose bang

      Actually, think you’re a perfect candidate for our ‘Grammar Nazi in Training package’.

      Sign along the dotted line……………………………..

      Mar 23, 2008 at 12:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   anglophile bang

      Ooh, can I apply too, rose? I carry a Sharpie with me for the express purpose of correcting grocery store signs.

      Please note that I capitalized Sharpie, as it is a brand name. ;)

      Mar 23, 2008 at 6:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.7   park rose bang

      ‘Glo – don’t play coy, now. You know you’re one of the top ranking trainers, and that you graduated with honours from the course two months ago now. :twisted:

      Mar 23, 2008 at 6:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.8   amy d bang

      Playing with the order of words can be fun, too. For instance, if we take:

      my lack of a period is due to my lack of a sentence, bitches

      we can rearrange the order and come up with:

      My bitches,

      My lack of sentience (sentence) is due to a period.

      Lackofa

      Okay, imperfect I admit. Yet, it still tickles me.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.9   park rose bang

      And further to the double meaning of many words, Amy…

      I was going to say: my lack of period is due to… :oops: What the hell, you’ll figure it out in nine months.

      :)

      Mar 23, 2008 at 9:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.10   amy d bang

      …my lack of sentience

      :lol:

      Mar 23, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.11   bamBAM!! bang

      I was gonna respond, but the thread went on forever, and I have the attention span of a fish on drugs, so I didn’t read the whole thing and anything I would say now would sound off topic.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.12   Canthz_B bang

      Wade was just pulling your leg, bB.
      Happy Easter, best to you and yours! :-D

      Mar 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   bellabeastie

    Just signed on.. y’all can fight about punctuation all you want, but that note makes me to not EVEN want to touch that fridge.

    What if you reach out your hand and it reaches out its handle to you and says .. “Oooo, it’s you…. ”

    and it squeezes your hand really tightly…
    “I know YOU…” “YOU left me open last time…”

    “Bwaahaaahaaaa….. Observe the Dead Cat At the Bottom. Let it be a warning. ”

    Team I Will Not Be Left Un-Shut

    “YOU are the one who left me Open Last Time..” GAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   bamBAM!! bang

      Wow, 90 comments so far, and nothing that’s even close to turning green. Everybody rate this comment +1, and then we’ll at least get it out of our system. It’s either that or post something really witty before I lose my mind!!

      Mar 23, 2008 at 6:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   bamBAM!! bang

      Okay, so I didn’t actually mean to reply to bb’s comment, so just act like it’s its own number, standing alone, in the wind, with its hair blowing, etc…

      Mar 23, 2008 at 6:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   anglophile bang

      You’re kind of wacky, aren’t you bB? ;)

      Mar 23, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   bamBAM!! bang

      Excuse me, but I don’t see you with any green comments. And that one definitely won’t get ya there, will it?

      Mar 23, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.5   anglophile bang

      You mistake me. In my world, wacky is a good thing!

      Trust the smileys! :D

      Mar 23, 2008 at 7:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.6   Canthz_B bang

      I thought the standing alone in the wind was funny…until…

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.7   bamBAM!! bang

      Until what, C_B??

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.8   bamBAM!! bang

      Remember: You don’t have to blow out my candle to make yours glow more brightly.

      (I would have said brighter, but the grammar Nazi might “correct” me.)

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.9   bamBAM!! bang

      Okay, so I’ve elected our word of the day. I put it up to 4, so you fools won’t have to do much, only one more rating, and we’re there. It’s C_B’s comment about the vending machine wombs. It’s number 20. So SOMEBODY, please give it a plus. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, register and make it official already so as to enable you to vote. Thanx, darling(s).

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.10   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks, bB.
      You know…anglophile was being nice and you lashed out a bit.
      You have some friends here waiting for you to “kick it up a notch”.
      You can be really funny…you have had me in stitches at times!

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.11   Wade bang

      um, bamBAM!!

      The voting and green comment boxes are for our amusement, and have no bearing whatsoever on who gets “Word!” of the Day. That decision is at the sole discretion of the PAN God herself.

      Maybe, if you channel your passion into another comment related to the note itself, she’ll choose you.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.12   bamBAM!! bang

      Kick it up a notch? Hell, I don’t know if I’m ready fo dat.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.13   bamBAM!! bang

      I like to think that I’m too good to do things for God.

      And, yes, it’s OUR word of the day. Not God’s. OUR’s. ours? ou’rs?

      Mar 23, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.14   Canthz_B bang

      It does not say, “Your ‘Word!’ Of The Day”, so I think the PANGoodess would have something to say ’bout dat!! :-(

      Mar 23, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.15   bamBAM!! bang

      She is a Goodess, ain’t she?

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.16   Canthz_B bang

      She’s been good to me so I slip in praise for her wherever possible. ;-)

      Of course we should all watch that glass house and stone thing…

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.17   bamBAM!! bang

      Yes, but she didn’t choose OUR word of the day. Thanx, Kerry! :(

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   bellabeastie

    Pee ess. Happy Easter! :) Fuzzy pagan bunny and chickie hugs all ’round. Oh, and please pass the ham. And eggs. For my belly.

    *shiver*

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Agent Inspired

    So the “Please keep refridgerator door closed.” signs didn’t work, hm?

    Multicolour fonts, cartoons, and decidedly stupid metaphors away!

    I think I’ll go comfort my note-less, unloved fridge while I wait for all this to blow over…
    :P

    Mar 24, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   TuesdayPillow

    I think a simple, “Please close me when you’re done, asshole” would have worked nicely.

    Mar 27, 2008 at 1:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   i asked santa for a baby alive, and all i got was this stupid dishwasher

    [...] think i’d ever see a kitchen appliance more inappropriately anthropomorphized than this fridge, but i think this dishwasher note (from an anonymous submitter in england) dials the wtf-factor up [...]

    Jul 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   NYC Attorney

    You say this “represents pretty much everything about office culture” that makes you cringe. Take heart! There are indeed office cultures that are nothing like that.

    In our office kitchen, there is posted:
    - the cafeteria menu for the week (professionally printed),
    -the restocking schedule for the coffee pods (ditto),
    - a curious note in the fridge that reads “Do not eat the allspice” (good idea)
    - names and dates on perishable items.

    I read this blog, and appreciate my office all the more for the professionalism and lack of passive agressive notes!

    Feb 6, 2009 at 1:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Mitch

    Sorry. Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
    I am from Central and learning to speak English, give true I wrote the following sentence: “Garreth forsey mastercard, merchants offer to see these licenses in city for the launched revolving corporations they can change.”

    Thanks for the help 8), Mitch.

    Sep 4, 2009 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   JMeister

    I love workplace fridge notes!

    At one place, there was this ridiculous PA/sarcastic note pleading for the fridge to never be cleaned, as the mouldy contents may provide the cure for cancer.
    Naturally (because I, too, am a tool) I posted immediately below it the warning sign, “Caution: Exposure to contents of fridge may cause cancer.”
    This resulted in both signs disappearing REALLY quickly, and a stern memo from management (OOOOOH) about ‘inappropriate signs’.
    Ahhh, the Old Days…

    Jan 21, 2010 at 11:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   JimJam

    I used to correct spelling and punctuation on P-A notes put up on the wall when I worked at Subway, pretty much on a daily basis; needless to say, I got fired after a few months of this practice.

    Feb 16, 2010 at 9:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   FD

    If I have to make sure it’s closed, how will I ever access the yummy food in the fridge’s belly?

    Feb 28, 2011 at 3:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   When refrigerators speak | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: Everything you hate about office culture, in one note. [...]

    Oct 29, 2011 at 10:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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