i’m pregnant…what’s your excuse?

March 23rd, 2008 · 95 comments

amanda in fairhaven, mass. recently took her sister-in-law in for an ultrasound appointment, and she was a little frightened by this sign. (it was posted in three places inside and outside the restroom.)

i'm pregnant...what's your excuse?

related: bun — er, pizza in the oven

Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy! · massachusetts · piss · preggers

95 responses so far ↓

  • #1  anglophile

    Excellent bedside manners. They really know what it takes to make a patient feel calm and in competent hands. Especially with the three !!!

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    • #1.1  Canthz_B

      Better than incontinent hands! LOL

      Well, you get my meaning…the hands of one who is incontinent.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:58 pm

       
    • #1.2  park rose

      triplets?

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:59 pm

       
    • #1.3  Canthz_B

      The urgency of those exclamation points just cannot be very helpful.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:20 pm

       
    • #1.4  Animikii

      Hey, this sign is only the passive part the aggressive part is when they use that wand on your swollen stomach and full bladder. OMG the torture!!!

      Mar 24, 2008 at 3:43 pm

       
     
  • #2  morpho aurora

    before, during or after?
    i hope they don’t have to tell someone not to empty during - then again after reading some of the notes here…

    isn’t an ultrasound the one done using that gel stuff? ’cause if you rub cold jelly on someone’s stomach they may not have a choice about that bladder thing

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    • #2.1  amazon

      Apparently you need a full bladder for an early pregnancy ultrasound:

      In general, early ultrasounds — prior to 20 to 24 weeks or so — do require a full bladder when the transabdominal approach (transducer is placed on your abdomen) is used.

      The reason for this is that the fluid in the bladder creates a “window” for the beam to pass through. (This provides a good medium for sound conduction.) It also serves as a “landmark” for the technician to get their bearings, so to speak. In addition, a full bladder can change the position of the uterus, taking the flexion out of it and pushing it up so it is easier to scan. A full bladder also moves loops of bowel up and out of the way to make the pelvic organs easier to view.

      In later pregnancy, or with a transvaginal approach, (the probe is introduced into the vagina), a full bladder is not necessary. The enlarging uterus is quite nicely positioned above the pubic bone and the fluid within the sac provides the medium for passage of the beam.

      http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/pfirsttri/0,,midwife_3q11,00.html

      thank you, internet!

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:17 am

       
    • #2.2  aaa

      You also need a full bladder for other gyno stuff. I had to have a full bladder for an ultrasound to look at an ovarian cyst I have. They let me pee after the transabdominal stuff and then did a transvaginal one.

      Actually, the gel really wasn’t cold, from what I remember. Maybe I was just lucky. Or remembering things better than they actually were.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 8:08 am

       
     
  • #3  bamBAM!!

    Can I empty my gall bladder, or no??

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:30 pm

     
  • #4  bamBAM!!

    What about those bladders that Lance keeps in his backpack so he can just sip a tube instead of hassling with a water bottle?

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    • #4.1  RALPHY

      OMG–Lance is preg and having an ultrasound? When did he grow a vagina and become queen?
      (scratching head)-Will wonders never cease?

      Mar 24, 2008 at 5:27 am

       
     
  • #5  Canthz_B

    Is this a GYN or a Urologist?
    turns back and checks the nameplate on the door…

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:34 pm

     
  • #6  bamBAM!!

    If it means you, implying the person reading the sign, why must they include, “if you are having an ultrasound?” I’m not having one, but it means me, and I have to pee.

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    • #6.1  tracy

      See and I didn’t even know i needed to pee until i read the sign, and now i *really* have to go!
      But it means me! Gak!
      The kidneys, they beg!

      Mar 24, 2008 at 10:36 am

       
     
  • #7  tanyetta

    LOL

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:42 pm

     
  • #8  Canthz_B

    What?! They told me to come here because I’m having a baby…wtf is an ultrasound???!!!

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    • #8.1  bamBAM!!

      A birth defect. A big one.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:48 pm

       
     
  • #9  Canthz_B

    “I read your sign, and I get your point.
    Now, if you could get the point of my baby’s elbow off of my bladder I would be much obliged!”

    Mar 23, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    • #9.1  bamBAM!!

      You seem to have a good understanding of pregnancy, CB…

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:50 pm

       
    • #9.2  Canthz_B

      I’ve been meaning to tell you, bB… :-D

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:56 pm

       
    • #9.3  morpho aurora

      :o

      Mar 23, 2008 at 10:58 pm

       
    • #9.4  bamBAM!!

      Are we gonna share stories now? When I was pregnant with Jedediah, I had to go for one of them ultrasounds, and I pissed my pants!! Right there in the doc’s office. We had a helluva time tryin to get a picture of the baby, my t shirt being all wet and such.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:24 pm

       
    • #9.5  bamBAM!!

      Wtf?? I think I might have been high when I posted that last one. Whoa, sorry about that. Will NOT happen again.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:27 pm

       
    • #9.6  Crash

      Well…if I ever ended up pregnant the doc would be pissing their pant’s…

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:29 pm

       
    • #9.7  bamBAM!!

      Not if their bladder was empty and they were being a rebel. That was some punkass grammar there, with the they implying only one person. Well, its late. Yes, its. No apostrophe.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:37 pm

       
    • #9.8  bamBAM!!

      And, really, pant’s? I know I told everybody to shut up about grammar, but, come on.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:48 pm

       
    • #9.9  Crash

      Where the hell does “helluva” belong in grammar bB ?!?

      Wasn’t it you’re punkass who wanted the grammar corrections to stop anyway…

      Way to go…

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:51 pm

       
    • #9.10  Canthz_B

      can’t we all get along? :-P

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:56 pm

       
    • #9.11  Crash

      FUCK YOU bB!!!!!!!
      GO TO HELL PUNKASS ASSWIPE….

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:59 pm

       
    • #9.12  bamBAM!!

      Did I not say that I knew it was me who told everybody to shut up about grammar, and by that I meant sorry.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:01 am

       
    • #9.13  bamBAM!!

      Excuse me?

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:02 am

       
    • #9.14  Crash

      Ya’ you’re excused…Sorry…
      And shut up about it already since you bitched about it.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:08 am

       
    • #9.15  bamBAM!!

      It’s cool, I just really wanted to be the self proclaimed punkass asswipe, but ya beat me to it. Damn.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:13 am

       
    • #9.16  Canthz_B

      You both know how to “take this outside”. :|

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:19 am

       
    • #9.17  Crash

      Nah man…you beat me to it.
      Hypocrisy makes a punkass an asswipe.

      I never got on you about your grammatical errors but you’re all over mine…

      Like this “Do what you say but not as you do” bit…whatever, punkass asswipe.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:23 am

       
    • #9.18  Canthz_B

      guys…not here.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:27 am

       
    • #9.19  pry

      when i was pregnant, they suggested i empty my bladder before the ultrasound. for that very reason.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 7:33 am

       
    • #9.20  bamBAM!!

      Cause you were a punkass asswipe…?

      Mar 24, 2008 at 10:37 am

       
     
  • #10  Crash

    So if the person behind me in line, is now infront of me in line…the note is telling them, right ?
    Which means I can go…

    Mar 23, 2008 at 11:09 pm

     
  • #11  Canthz_B

    We do allow the half-pee, however.
    Just don’t empty your bladder.

    Mar 23, 2008 at 11:19 pm

    • #11.1  Crash

      How ’bout 3/4….PLEASE !!!!

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:20 pm

       
    • #11.2  bamBAM!!

      Nope, it’s gotta be at least 33/79 full. Sorry.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:46 pm

       
    • #11.3  secondsout

      Oh, come on! Have you ever tried stopping halfway through taking a piss? That shit hurts! That would make it even worse.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:39 pm

       
    • #11.4  unholyghost2003

      What makes this WORSE is every woman I know has been told at one point that her pregnant bladder was TOO full and was ordered to have a half pee.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:42 pm

       
    • #11.5  Canthz_B

      I dated a woman once who could play the “Can-Can” with a pee stream!
      No lie!! :-D

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:47 pm

       
    • #11.6  unholyghost2003

      :shock: ummm how did you learn this …. never mind, I don’t want to know!

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:51 pm

       
     
  • #12  Crash

    God…could you imagine a long wait at a doctors office for an ultrasound and having to hold it the whole time…
    Makes me appreciate pregnant women a little more…

    Mar 23, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    • #12.1  bamBAM!!

      No.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:28 pm

       
    • #12.2  Crash

      No ?….
      What…no imagination…?

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:32 pm

       
    • #12.3  Canthz_B

      Been there, done that, Crash.
      I don’t know if appreciate or fear is the better term to use for that particular instance! ;-)

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:36 pm

       
    • #12.4  RALPHY

      Got to say it-I only appreciate pregnant women if their not mine, otherwise, Holy Shit! Your what?

      Mar 24, 2008 at 5:42 am

       
    • #12.5  Suhayla

      Then imagine having to wait in line for the washroom afterwards.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 6:29 am

       
     
  • #13  Canthz_B

    Of all of the people to piss off (excuse the pun) why choose pregnant women?
    Did someone miss the safety seminar?

    Mar 23, 2008 at 11:31 pm

     
  • #14  Nathaniel

    You can’t pee before getting ultrasound? Or am I completely not understanding this note?

    Mar 23, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    • #14.1  park rose

      You need a full bladder when going for an ultrasound. I am not sure why. Someone will tell us by the bye.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:42 pm

       
    • #14.2  Canthz_B

      Well, I suppose you could piss to your bladder’s delight before an ultrasound of the brain…but a full bladder is a well defined bladder on an obstetrical ultrasound (I suspect).

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:44 pm

       
    • #14.3  bamBAM!!

      What about a testicular ultrasound??

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:51 pm

       
    • #14.4  park rose

      Thanks for the definitons, CB, that’s what I think also.

      Mar 23, 2008 at 11:59 pm

       
    • #14.5  Canthz_B

      Got a particular concern there, Sport?
      I only ask because if your testes are withdrawn that far…genetic testing may be the route to go. ;-)

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:00 am

       
    • #14.6  bamBAM!!

      I just didn’t wanna see a doctor before I knew fo shiz…

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:05 am

       
    • #14.7  Canthz_B

      I think amazon nailed it, rose.
      We live and learn, eh?
      Thanks, amazon! :-D

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:04 am

       
    • #14.8  amazon

      Don’t thank me, thank Google!

      Mar 24, 2008 at 10:37 am

       
     
  • #15  bamBAM!!

    Advice to future note-posters: Don’t use caps lock or times new roman. Please, try comic sans ms, at least, or Arial??

    Mar 23, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    • #15.1  amazon

      Ban Comic Sans!!!

      http://bancomicsans.com/

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:11 am

       
    • #15.2  anglophile

      Not Comic Sans!

      How about Georgia, or Trebuchet for a change?

      Mar 24, 2008 at 7:10 am

       
    • #15.3  Wade

      I think utilizing any size Trebuchet on this note (and its writer) would be a good idea.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 10:38 am

       
    • #15.4  bamBAM!!

      I like Marker Felt, but it is a little obnoxious.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 10:40 am

       
     
  • #16  Canthz_B

    “DO NOT EMPTY YOUR BLADDER”…What?…Never again?…

    Mar 24, 2008 at 1:10 am

     
  • #17  RALPHY

    No, not ever again. Just until your eyeballs start floating and piss starts coming out of your ears, then we’ll do the ultrasound and push a lot on your tummy. Take 3 midols and a shot of crack before coming in please.

    Mar 24, 2008 at 6:51 am

     
  • #18  leelou

    It also seems to me an odd usage of underlining, way more an order than a request. I mean, why not underline “please”, too?

    Mar 24, 2008 at 7:02 am

     
  • #19  claw71

    Is anybody else suddenly craving haggis?

    Mar 24, 2008 at 7:14 am

     
  • #20  Andrea

    You NEED a full bladder during an ultrasound so it will work properly. It bounces sound waves around in there and works better if there’s more fluid inside.

    Yes, they tell you to drink lots beforehand and YES it’s excruciating having to hold it.

    Mar 24, 2008 at 7:33 am

     
  • #21  karin

    brings back painful memories!! I had whooping cough which damaged my bladder as well as my lungs and then immediately got pregnant (damn antibiotics!). Anyway, I had lots of problems early on and they kept sending me for u/s at a place that also took emergencies so if my appointment that was at 10 took until noon to get around to me. I was in tears for 110 minutes. They had a sign like that too! I wanted to put up a sign of my own. It would read, “Don’t tell a pregnant woman to drink 32 oz of water and then not to pee for 2 hours.” The only pleasant thing that came out of this facility was they gave me a free 3D u/s. That was cool!

    Mar 24, 2008 at 7:57 am

     
  • #22  se

    wonder why she was a “little frightened” by this sign??
    Doctors, nurses, and everyone in the doctor’s office is telling these women there for an ultrasound not to pee before the ultrasound is done.

    Mar 24, 2008 at 8:06 am

    • #22.1  face it

      Probably thought there was going to be a drug test…

      Mar 24, 2008 at 8:27 am

       
    • #22.2  Katzndogz

      She was frightened because she was afraid that her attempt at a joke might be taken too literally by someone.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 9:28 am

       
     
  • #23  claw71

    Yes, we understand that a full bladder improves the quality of the ultrasound. That’s all well and good.

    The issue with this note is the unnecessarily rude THIS MEANS YOU!!! qualifier on the note.

    This is a fine example of yet another medical facility that treats all of its patients as if they are stupid. A more professional version of this note would be posted on the restromm doors and it would breifly explain why a full bladder is necessary.

    Being rude to pregnant women is a great way to get stabbed in the eye with a pen.

    Mar 24, 2008 at 8:38 am

    • #23.1  amazon

      Actually, I kinda have to side with the clinic on this one. Patients generally are pretty stupid. (yes, this means you!!!)

      What, doing drugs while pregnant hurts the baby? I’m NOT supposed to play rugby with an already broken ankle? I have no clue how that light bulb got stuck up my ass.

      I’m just surprised it’s not in 5 different languages.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:02 pm

       
    • #23.2  unholyghost2003

      Sorry, NOPE! A SERIOUS tone change is in order. The medical industry is a SERVICE industry. Medical professionals are not such great and glorious gods that I should feel like I am putting them out by requesting/demanding courteous treatment. If a similar sort of sign was posted in your mechanics office would you take offense or no?

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:13 pm

       
    • #23.3  Canthz_B

      I’m not so stupid that I cannot take my business elsewhere…my insurance card too!
      Who pays the salaries here again?
      There is no such thing as a stupid question to the person seeking answers.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm

       
    • #23.4  dana cannon

      @unholyghost2003

      I would never get an ultrasound from my mechanic!

      But the thought of it does remind of this scene from “Moving Violations”:

      http://www.metacafe.com/watch/411139/naked_woman_walking_though_an_auto_repair_clinic

      I <3 Fred Willard!

      Mar 31, 2008 at 9:24 pm

       
     
  • #24  Mung Bean

    Go Team Beleaguered-Ultrasound-Technician. While the tone and frequency of the signs is more than a little disturbing, I’m all in favor of full bladders during ultrasound. Better pictures, quicker examination, and no need to shove a probe god-knows-where to compensate for poor reception.

    Mar 24, 2008 at 9:14 am

    • #24.1  unholyghost2003

      Your attitude it the correct one, I don’t think anyone is irritated by the information in the sign, just the tone, frequency and lack of explanation.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 2:07 pm

       
    • #24.2  Leeloo

      I think I’m on Team My-Bladder-Is-So-Full-if-You-Poke-Me-with-That-Cold-Gel-I-will-Pee-on-You.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 4:57 pm

       
     
  • #25  Paul Burani

    You know… you might partner up with the person running the “Stick Figures In Peril” group on Flickr — I think you could put together some really compelling one-two punches…

    Mar 24, 2008 at 9:22 am

     
  • #26  claw71

    How about a full bowel?

    The nervous doctor looked at the results of the ultrasound, not as disturbed but what he was seeing but by the fact that he was going to have to break the news to the couple.

    “Well,” he said with a sigh, “as you can see right here it looks like she’s about to give birth to a couple of Texans.”

    This story was in spired in part by the poem, Here I sit Cheeks a-flexin’…

    Mar 24, 2008 at 10:24 am

     
  • #27  bamBAM!!

    So, if you laugh while drinking, milk comes out your nose, right? If you hold piss too long, will it come out your ass?

    Mar 24, 2008 at 10:34 am

    • #27.1  claw71

      Well, bamBAM, I suppose that all depends on the integrity of your taint. Have you ever farted through your urethra?

      Mar 24, 2008 at 11:31 am

       
     
  • #28  mmm

    TEAM MIDWIVES! The note, and other posters explanations of the rationale behind it, further emphasize the faults of all of this early routine ultrasounding. If you are one of the 80% and up preggies that are perfectly uncomplicated and unproblematic, then you don’t need this garbage anyway. See a midwife, a real professional, and not a “technician” who’s going to condescend to you because she can’t work equipment that doesn’t work on early pregnancies because it’s not designed to.

    Mar 24, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    • #28.1  Canthz_B

      I suppose the OB/GYN community would stop checking for spina bifida if patients would stop suing them.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:24 pm

       
    • #28.2  Canthz_B

      I’m really sorry, but I just cannot agree with you, mmm. Nothing personal, but my daughter’s duodenal atresia would not have been detected without a good prenatal ultrasound.
      Thankfully, the OB knew about it before delivery.

      Mar 24, 2008 at 12:31 pm

       
    • #28.3  unholyghost2003