Cameron in Hyde Park, New York brings us this “maybe not-so-classic dorm dispute: girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy has girlfriend, girl obsesses over boy, boy’s female neighbors post rejection note from boy to girl, girl…threatens neighbors, artistically.”
What, no bubble letters?
March 26th, 2008 · 98 comments
FILED UNDER: college life · danger · disturbingly detailed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · MYOB · spurned lover
98 responses so far ↓
#1
Izzy
Beware the five-headed monster…
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:35 am rating: 90
#2
claw71
OOOH a puzzle! Now do I cut on the dotted lines or connect the dots?
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:36 am rating: 90
#3
web diversions
“cover your five head”? wha? is that some of the slang you kids are using these days?
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:48 am rating: 90
#4
dan
five head!? what the devil?
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:48 am rating: 90
#5
Huh?
Heee – love the internet – you never have to be uncool while on-line. Thanks, urbandictionary.com.
Seems like the girl needs some bangs.
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:50 am rating: 90
#6
amy d
From UrbanDictionary.com:
Five head: A very large forehead – 25% larger in fact. Too big to be a four head so we have to call it a five head
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:51 am rating: 90
#7
amy d
So, if it’s female neighbors, i.e. more than one, shouldn’t it be
MIND YOUR BUSINESS BITCHES
??
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:52 am rating: 90
#8
The Other Commenter
I love the dancing ants. Really makes that “bitch” pop.
As for the danger-danger border, that’s just getting the “fire in the Taco Bell” song stuck in my head… which isn’t unpleasant either. All the way around, this is delectable. The addition to my slang vocabulary is just gravy.
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:54 am rating: 90
#9
claw71
The “Five Head” (bald) reference makes me think of Sinead O’Connor…
It took several hours and felt-tipped pens
to square this note away
I snuck in to the dorm and used scotch tape
to post this note this way
You dumb bald bitch you can’t do whatever you want
Fight with me you’ll lose
So when you wake up you can go and read my taunt
But nothing, I said nothing can make me defuse.
Mind your business
Mind your buiness, you fool.
Danger Danger Danger, my dear
with skulls and bones in lines so long
Can you see the rage that’s bubbling inside me
I don’t even care if I’m wrong
I can throw my hands around your skinny neck
and squeeze until you turn blue
I talked to my shrink and he said I was crazy
stone cold crazy
So I stabbed him in the eye with a sharp little multi tool, that’s what I do
Mind your business
Mind your business, you fool.
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:56 am rating: 90
#10
Sam
That…is twelve flavors of special. (P.S. I already knew what a five-head was. I know an unfortunate girl who has one.)
And the lady who wrote the note spent WAAAAY too much time on that.
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:58 am rating: 90
#11
t
passive? agressive
Mar 26, 2008 at 9:59 am rating: 90
#12
Canthz_B
“Danger…hugs and kisses” has got to be rated as, well just plain odd.
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:05 am rating: 90
#13
mmm
I like! This note is classy. It is more than a note, it is like a campaign poster. Clean lines, not too wordy, artistic, nice slam of the opponent at the end. This chic is going places.
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:08 am rating: 90
#14
Juliet
As P-A notes go, it’s rather fancy. Someone spent some time on it.
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:13 am rating: 90
#15
Joe
I thought the same thing. I guess she was too lazy (and artistically challenged?) to draw a full skull and crossbones a few score times. But the lazy way out makes it look more like Xs and Os.
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:14 am rating: 90
#16
claw71
Five Head shouldn’t be down on herself. Helen Hunt and Tyra Banks both sport foreheads that just don’t quit. What’s even more amazing is that they’re both extremely annoying. Tyra seems pretty nosey and Helen’s got that pointy face that makes you want to slap her.
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:15 am rating: 90
#17
c-lo
you know it’s serious when she spends time making stitch-work(?) around the word bitch
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:16 am rating: 90
#18
Sarah
Between the “DANGER”s and the purple skulls, I think there must be more going on with this note. Someone should check it for anthrax, or deadly acid, or something.
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:32 am rating: 90
#19
se
I want to see the rejection note that she is responding to…
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:41 am rating: 90
#20
Aijaz
I wish my 7-year-old daughter’s poster-board report on Tennessee looked this good. Next year, I should have her just print out this gem and submit it.
Mar 26, 2008 at 10:43 am rating: 90
#21
Tyler
From the looks of this poster, I think the author probably scrapbooks in her free time…scrapbooks of rage…
Mar 26, 2008 at 11:25 am rating: 90
#22
Sue Do Nim
Looks like somebody is feeling guilty about her PA note and has to pretty it up to disguise her rage.
Well, that or she’s psychotic.
Mar 26, 2008 at 11:27 am rating: 90
#23
Coke-aholic
This note definitely shows the tendencies of a bunny boiler!
Mar 26, 2008 at 11:29 am rating: 90
#24
GhostWriter
Those are some lame skull and crossbones. Combine that with the lack of the word, “wench” or any sailing terms, and you’ll agree that our not poster’s no pirate.
…although “cover your fivehead” does sound like a resaonable reply to, “hoist the mizzenmast.”
Mar 26, 2008 at 11:49 am rating: 90
#25
Quite Contrary
She’ll make a great Junior Leaguer.
Mar 26, 2008 at 11:56 am rating: 90
#26
Canthz_B
“Five Head” is considered a high-brow comment in some circles.
Mar 26, 2008 at 12:07 pm rating: 90
#27
secondsout
The thing warns about impending danger. Danger of what? Hurling a few more insults that people have to look up on the urban dictionary?
Mar 26, 2008 at 12:39 pm rating: 90
#28
secondsout
I’m also wondering just exactly what a business bitch is, and why I should mind such a person.
Mar 26, 2008 at 12:41 pm rating: 90
#29
mere
i want to see the other notes that lead to this gigantor note.
Mar 26, 2008 at 12:42 pm rating: 90
#30
jean_luc_turbo
Perhaps there needs to be a 99 level class as to how to make threatening dorm room signs? This has such a 21st Century Peter Pan quality about it…
Mar 26, 2008 at 12:59 pm rating: 90
#31
claw71
Don’t miss PAN-a-palooza 2008!
Featuring performances by:
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The Vanishing Teacups
The Children
and many others.
Select engagements will also feature performances by:
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Mar 26, 2008 at 1:01 pm rating: 90
#32
Suhayla
This really is a lovely note. Aside from what looks like a false start on the B in Business, it’s really well put together. No crappy clipart. Personalization at the end a great touch. The open-ended threat is classic.
Though, I too would like to see the rejection note.
Mar 26, 2008 at 1:08 pm rating: 90
#33
Set To Evil
Danger Danger Danger, Bitch Robinson Danger!!!!!
Mar 26, 2008 at 1:37 pm rating: 90
#34
Heidi
Oh cute! She has dotted lines for “Bitch” just in case they wanted to clip it out like a coupon!
Mar 26, 2008 at 1:50 pm rating: 90
#35
Ana
Girly writing? Check. Colored sharpies? Check.
Insane sorority queen? Check. Cute skulls n’ crossbones? Check.
Gotta give this effort a solid A!
Mar 26, 2008 at 4:26 pm rating: 90
#36
TuesdayPillow
So uh, what is the guy doing in this? Can he not take care of his problems himself – he needs a bunch o’ bitches to do his rejecting for him?
I’ll bet HE has a threehead.
Mar 26, 2008 at 11:28 pm rating: 90
#37
Agent Inspired
Oh man, this note is awesome. I think I’d like to meet this girl… IF she didn’t look to be a little bit touched (in the fivehead).
Mar 27, 2008 at 6:25 pm rating: 90
#38
YiddischeMama
I love this one!
As a Grammar Nazi, I would like to point out that the lack of a comma after “business,” makes the sentence into a delightfully-accurate characterization of the note-writer.
Viz.:
“Mind your business, bitch!” =
“Please do not look over my shoulder, Lassie!”
but
“Mind your business bitch!” =
“Beware of Me!”
Also, I agree with those who think that the postscript (which, in Paper Correspondence from the World of the Literate, belongs only after the “Signature” component of a letter, but I digress) sounds like a person who’s jealous of someone else’s recording equipment and wishes that the Five-Head Audio/Video Recording Machine were covered.
This is the kind of note that makes me all misty-eyed with nostalgia for grade school, when I could get away with putting ice cubes down the backs of people like this.
Apr 5, 2008 at 6:21 pm rating: 90
#39
jen
oh my god the little skulls. when she is on her death bed, she’ll wish she had that time back.
Jun 20, 2008 at 9:53 pm rating: 90
#40
yellowcroissant541
aw
what a cute note.
Jan 31, 2009 at 11:49 pm rating: 90
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#45
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#52 Girls gone wild…with colored markers | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
[...] What, no bubble letters? [...]
Apr 7, 2010 at 12:48 am rating: 90
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