well, our anonymous contributor in pompano beach, florida has one for you.
he explains: “i keep a gym membership just so that i can feel good about my financial commitment to my health — not so much for the actual health benefits per se. i hadn’t been to the gym in at least two months when i came across this note posted by the showers. (my shower at home was being worked on.) i’m glad i make it a habit to wear sandals in the shower during my quarterly visits.”
related: the mad bomber
98 responses so far ↓
#1
Chipmunk
This is why you don’t go to the gym and do an hour of cardio after eating two plates of Nachos Bell Grande and downing a Mega Gulp gallon bucket of cola.
Mar 28, 2008 at 2:12 am rating: +9
#2
stefanynina
Ok THAT is restraint!
Mine would say ” Are you fucking kidding me?? Who shit in the shower? Asshole!”
But that’s just me..
ok maybe there wouldn’t be punctuation
Mar 28, 2008 at 2:24 am rating: +9
#3
Glad 2 B N Tennessee
Ewww! That’s why I don’t go to the gym at all.
Makes me want to ask the really stupid question…”Why would anyone want to do that?” But I really don’t want to know the answer.
Mar 28, 2008 at 2:25 am rating: 0
#4
Troy McClure
Wow. Who’s that sign going to stop? The culprit will see the sign and think, what, “oh no, they’re onto me”?
Mar 28, 2008 at 2:34 am rating: +5
#5
honeyedhemlock
Yikes. If he shit in the shower, I’m sure all that grunting while on the machines produced some Hershey squirts on the equipment. Clorox, anyone?
Mar 28, 2008 at 4:51 am rating: +4
#6
amy d
I can think of several more reasons they could have added to the note:
…this is not the place for defecation, the toilet is.
…it’s disgusting.
…nobody likes cleaning up someone else’s shit.
…that shit is trifling.
Mar 28, 2008 at 5:40 am rating: +3
#7
Wade
Maybe someone was singing the shower and hit the brown note.
Mar 28, 2008 at 6:16 am rating: +4
#8
Olivia
Oh, God, this is outrageously funny.
I’m a bit worried that the stupid Cro-Magnon - the kind who would actually poo in a public shower - will be a bit confused by the wordier second sentence.
Mar 28, 2008 at 6:22 am rating: +1
#9
pry
hmm…now this seems like the appropriate time to not leave such a polite note. defecation? go ahead, curse a little.
Mar 28, 2008 at 7:12 am rating: +1
#10
JPav
I like that the explanation of ‘why’ someone shouldn’t poo in the shower is longer than the actual request. Something like ‘no pooing in the shower’ should really be self expanitory.
Mar 28, 2008 at 7:28 am rating: +2
#11
Grimfool_Reluctant
If you really need to post a sign telling people not to shit in public showers . . . aren’t you just wasting your writing time and my reading time?
Mar 28, 2008 at 7:43 am rating: +1
#12
RALPHY
This person must be an idiot! Every here knows that you should go to the office and shit in the trash can.
Mar 28, 2008 at 7:58 am rating: +4
#13
GhostWriter
OK, it’s unsanitary, but to truly be considered hazardous waste, you have to have eaten one of Zapata’s Nuclear Diablo burritos.
…or a vial of mercury.
Mar 28, 2008 at 8:12 am rating: +2
#14
Bwahahahaha
Sweet Jesus! I can’t stop laughing.
Mar 28, 2008 at 8:15 am rating: +1
#15
Coke-aholic
Gee and I was just worrying about catching Athlete’s foot when I went to the gym! This note makes me want to wear a biohazard suit the next time I go to the gym.
Mar 28, 2008 at 8:18 am rating: +6
#16
park rose
Okay, I’ve got the two lines, and hope that all the song-writing genii can improve and finish it off - of course I’ve done hardly any work - but to the tune of
The Teddy Bears’ Picnic
If you go into the shower today, be sure of a great surprise,
If you go into the shower today, you won’t believe your eyes…
Mar 28, 2008 at 8:43 am rating: +3
#17
Quite Contrary
I’m not clear why they weren’t even more direct, as in, “would you do this at home?” Wait, never mind. I don’t want to know.
Mar 28, 2008 at 8:45 am rating: 0
#18
GhostWriter
On a totally unrelated note, my bottle of pumice body scrub cracked open in the shower the other day. What a waste of $6.99.
Mar 28, 2008 at 8:47 am rating: +1
#19
Beth
Holy crap!
That’s worse than the sign in the locker room at our gym that said, “Please throw away your nail clippings.” The nasty stuff people do. :/
Mar 28, 2008 at 8:58 am rating: +1
#20
Katzndogz
A good April Fool’s Day joke at that gym would be to leave an Almond Joy on the floor of the shower.
Mar 28, 2008 at 9:28 am rating: +3
#21
Jen
I worked in college administration for years - overseeing dorm life… Not only did this occur more than once - but they actually fingerpainted with it on the shower stalls… I have come to accept that some human behavior is unexplainable…
Mar 28, 2008 at 9:37 am rating: +2
#22
thrall38
Why do people insist on writing things that cannot be unread and saying things that cannot be unheard? Yikes.
Mar 28, 2008 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#23
Brian
I have to agree with several others - this sign isn’t likely to change a shower shitter’s mind. I can’t see them saying, “Oh, it’s unsanitary? My bad. I didn’t know. I’ll stop.”
Mar 28, 2008 at 11:05 am rating: +4
#24
Bellabeastie
These must be the same people from the thrift store dressing room…
OMG I am completely grossed out.
Mar 28, 2008 at 11:08 am rating: +1
#25
Jim - Just a Guy
What in the blue hell is some one doing shitting n a public shower?
Holy fuck sticks! Can imagine walking in to the shower and seeing a fresh pile on the floor.
Mar 28, 2008 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#26
Detective Julie
“Okay team, how can we make sure membership declines drastically?”
“Make them think about our showers being polluted with poop?”
“Great idea, make the sign, Billy.”
Mar 28, 2008 at 11:28 am rating: +4
#27
Bellabeastie
I kinda wonder about our note-submitter. He makes a “financial commitment to his health” ??? WTF - just so you can say you belong to a gym?
Team All Show And No Go Poo In The Shower
Mar 28, 2008 at 11:33 am rating: +1
#28
Tyler
Hmm, maybe it is an issue of the author using the wrong word. Perhaps they wanted to sound smart and used the word “defecate” when they just wanted people to stop peeing in the shower. (Which would lead you to the next question: Do they think mankind will ever stop peeing in the shower?)
Mar 28, 2008 at 11:43 am rating: +3