maybe you should switch to body wash?

March 31st, 2008 · 83 comments

at least that would make the roommate situation a little less hairy…

related: losing lisa

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Tags: hair · hygiene · roommates · san diego · shower · that shit is disgusting

83 responses so far ↓

#1 damon

I could post “first!”, but I’m not. But just so you know I could’ve, if I wanted to.

When I read this, I had a sudden recall of that Old Spice body wash commercial where the camera slowly creeps up on that bar of soap in the shower with a lone butthair on it. Yeesh. Glad I use body wash.

Mar 31, 2008 at 11:35 pm rating: +1

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- #1.1 gingerE
  
  If you use body wash, then Jimmy will try to use your sponge or wash cloth.
  
  Mar 31, 2008 at 11:46 pm rating: +2
- #1.2 Olivia
  
  Ha ha! I probably would’ve posted a big “FIRST!!!!!!!11111″ if I was the first poster. *Miss No Integrity*
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: 0
- #1.3 Bin George
  
  Let me straighten out at least some of the confusion i’ve read on these comments. me…bin george… i’m mexican … I’m roommates with this turd as well as laura (she’s not a turd). Jimmy’s room is about roughly 2 inches from mine at the end of the hallway on the second floor. At least laura is a good 10 feet away from the f@cking smell that comes from his room. it’s not only about the pubic hair in the soap bar, it’s not just that all the toiletries, EVERYONES, slowly but inevitably are reduced to about maybe 1/4 of their glory before they’re used by the person that purchased them, it’s not just that his diet can probably explain why it must take him a whole rolls wipe and still skid mark every underwear he “forgets” in the bathroom, it’s also not just the rumbling and shaking on the second floor while he practices his “break dancing” a fab that has died since ……. the 80’s, it also has nothing to do with all his frozen burritos that rot because they’re not stored in the, well, freezer (yet still eats them too), also, has nothing to do with his ability to break things like the towel rack and walk away, or his bulging eyes that probably challenge those of E.T. oh no, it has nothing to do with all that. It has to do with the amount of gel he uses on his Son goku like hair styles; Son Goku like hair styles only look good on Son Goku, @sshole! stop trying to look like him you’re cramping his style you P.O.S.
  
  p.s. if you open my brand new bottle of gel again, like you did to the last one, i’m shoving it up your ass in hopes that it shuts your ass hole and therefore we at least don’t have to experience skid marked underwear anymore.
  
  p.s.s. laura was becoming fond of finding your pubic hair on her soap, so much, she uses a new bar every time she finds your pubes on her old bar…. and uses the hair to hopefully make a wig for an old man that wants short curls as a doo - minus the gel.
  
  p.s.s.s. laura likes fall out boy….. love you laura!
  
  Apr 2, 2008 at 1:53 am rating: +2
- #1.4 Bin George
  
  and no…. my name is not bin….. or ben…or *sigh*….
  
  Apr 2, 2008 at 2:48 am rating: 0
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#2 Coke-aholic

Poor Bin and Cynthia! And I thought having onion breath was bad! I bet after that day absolutely no one would stand close to them in the elevator.

Mar 31, 2008 at 11:43 pm rating: 0

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- #2.1 Crash
  
  Bin laden !!!
  Holy Shit !!
  Maybe that’s why he hates us…
  Damn it Jim !!
  See what you’ve done !!!
  This is war man…
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 1:30 am rating: +4
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#3 Troy McClure

How much is a toothbrush? A dollar fifty? What kind of cheapskate re-uses yesterday’s toothbrush??

Mar 31, 2008 at 11:45 pm rating: +1

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- #3.1 secondsout
  
  That’s a good question. Maybe Cha e finally has an answer.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 11:03 am rating: +2
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#4 Jfruh

I think “unacceptable and nasty” is kind of redundant. While there are plenty of unacceptable things that aren’t nasty, I’m willing to bet that everything that’s nasty is unacceptable.

Mar 31, 2008 at 11:47 pm rating: 0

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- #4.1 Ingeborg
  
  Actually, shitting, for example, is nasty, but not unacceptable. We all have to shit, which we have tacitly accepted - evidenced each time we unload in the little boys or little girls room.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 12:00 am rating: +2
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#5 Sarah

Using someone’s soap is the most disgusting thing someone can do? Even worse than, say, dropping a deuce?

The note writer has little imagination.

Mar 31, 2008 at 11:52 pm rating: +2

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- #5.1 Troy McClure
  
  Somehow, you’ve reminded me of this favourite cinematic moment:
  
  Princess Leia: No! Alderaan is clean! We have no grubbiness, you can’t possibly…
  Governor Tarkin: [impatiently] You would prefer another target, a squalid target? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time: Where is the clean base?
  Princess Leia: …Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine.
  Governor Tarkin: There. You see, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable. Continue with the operation; you may fire when ready.
  Princess Leia: WHAT?
  Governor Tarkin: You’re far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration - but don’t worry; we will deal with your clean friends soon enough.
  
  …whereupon, the Filth Star fires upon Alderaan, covering its entire surface with a thin film of diarrhoea.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 12:06 am rating: +3
- #5.2 Crash
  
  Or too much of one, which might have lead to the writing of the note.
  God knows what she was thinking…
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 1:25 am rating: +1
- #5.3 Mystic
  
  Wasn’t it Tatooine?
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:23 pm rating: 0
- #5.4 Total Douche
  
  no, Dantooine and Tatooine are 2 different planets. The abandoned rebel base was on Dantooine.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 3:37 pm rating: 0
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#6 Olivia

Team Laura. Sorry, but Jimmy sounds pretty gross - tough love all the way.

Also, compulsive neat freak here, but I hope the guy’s name is really “Bin” rather than a dumbass misspelling of “Ben.” *sigh* Oh well. : )

Apr 1, 2008 at 12:00 am rating: 0

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- #6.1 Mishee
  
  I have a friend named Bin…( it’s a chinese name I believe. )
  
  I am just wondering did he like, DRAPE the underwear over their toothbrushes on the counter (presumably in one of those holder things) or did they leave their toothbrushes on the ground or someplace else where the underwear came in contact with it??
  
  if so, either way, someone is nasty.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 8:59 am rating: +2
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#7 Canthz_B

On the bright side, Jimmy goes really easy on the toilet tissue.

Apr 1, 2008 at 12:17 am rating: +7

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#8 Cindy

I am confused by the quarters taped to the note. I would love it if those where from “Jimmy” or whoever who was like “here’s the 75 cents for the soap I used, now shove it”

Apr 1, 2008 at 12:19 am rating: +1

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- #8.1 Troy McClure
  
  “Here’s 75c; now it’s mine. But you can keep using it too—in fact, I want you to.”
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: +2
- #8.2 Crash
  
  I’m confused by your confusion…
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 1:21 am rating: +1
- #8.3 Mystic
  
  I believe the 75c was for Jimmy to procure his own soap. I say, instead of taping money to a note, duct tape a bar of soap to the shower wall. After all, what if, while strolling through the store isles, Jimmy gets thirsty and uses his soap money on a beverage?
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:26 pm rating: +2
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#9 TuesdayPillow

Ok it’s pretty disgusting, but not the most disgusting thing. I’ve seen bits of poop left on the back of the toilet seat. Apparently someone had bad aim. REALLY bad aim.

Apr 1, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: +2

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#10 Chipmunk

I would make a passive-aggressive move back. Use the soap again, make sure to leave a nice handful of pubes on it, and top it off with the 75 cents.

Then after they complain, write a PA note saying “I BOUGHT MY OWN BAR OF SOAP WITH THE 75 CENTS WHY ARE YOU USING *MY* SOAP?”

Apr 1, 2008 at 3:52 am rating: 0

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#11 Miz-andi

I use my step-mom’s soap just to piss her off. But, then again, I also blow my nose in her towels. Team Laura, because being nasty without deep-rooted loathing and passive-aggression is UNACCEPTABLE

Apr 1, 2008 at 6:20 am rating: 0

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- #11.1 tragically mep
  
  I’d ask if you were my stepson but I know you aren’t because he can’t get out of bed at 6:20 am.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 7:44 pm rating: +3
- #11.2 Miz-andi
  
  And I’m also female. And get up at 5:30 :]
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: 0
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#12 Matt

Embed shards of broken glass in the soap and watch the hilarity. That is worth 75 cents right there.

I have no reasonable solution for the dirty, skid-marked underwear

Apr 1, 2008 at 6:31 am rating: +2

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- #12.1 Total Douche
  
  I would buy a “joke” soap bar that turns black when you use it. I’ve taught people lessons using this method in the past.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 3:48 pm rating: 0
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#13 DirtyOldLady

Maybe the author should count herself lucky, considering how much nastier it could’ve been. At least Jimmy uses soap, occasionally changes his underwear, and has come within striking distance of a toothbrush. And as far as we know, he hasn’t shat in the shower.

He was probably saving that for the gym.

Apr 1, 2008 at 6:41 am rating: +4

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#14 porcupine

Whenever I’m faced with a situation like this, I invariably ask myself… What would the Jackson 5 do?

It never fails to provide me with warm, healing waves of enlightenment, insight and consolation.

So, without further ado… here’s Janet. And I only had to change 2-3 words. See, I knew she’d be the one to turn to.

Sittin’ in the bathroom

Thinkin’ nasty thoughts

Better be a gentleman

Or you’ll turn me off

That’s right, lemme tell it

Chorus:

Nasty, nasty boys, don’t mean a thing

Oh you nasty boys

Nasty, nasty boys, don’t ever change (their underwear)

Oh you nasty boys

I don’t like no nasty skidmarks

I don’t like nasty soap

The only nasty thing I like

Is a nasty note

Will this one do?

Uh huh, I know… say…

Repeat Chorus

Nasty, nasty boys, gimme a new bar of soap

Nasty, nasty boys, lemme see your nasty body move (out of this roomshare asap)

I could learn to like this, listen up…

I’m not a prude, I just want some respect

So close the door if you want me to respond

Cause privacy is my middle name

My last name is control

No, my first name ain’t baby,

It’s Laura… Ms. Laura if you’re nasty

Apr 1, 2008 at 7:07 am rating: +5

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#15 tlyzer

So is it still disgusting if Jimmy wants to use the soap outside of the shower? For instance, if he wants to wash his hands at the sink - is that okay?

Apr 1, 2008 at 8:08 am rating: 0

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- #15.1 Coke-aholic
  
  Given the state of his underwear I would say it would be far more disgusting if he didn’t wash his hands after using the toilet!
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 8:58 am rating: +1
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#16 wicked opinion

You cannot change an ignorant leech. They will be laughing behind your back while you are “teaching” them how to behave….if they are not busy being confused by your reaction to their behavior - “wait, I’m not supposed to drink straight from the milk carton with your name on it ?? oh..my bad” What really burns me is finding my body wash slowly being watered down every day. They think I am as stupid as they are. I hate roomates.

Apr 1, 2008 at 8:58 am rating: 0

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- #16.1 Total Douche
  
  Fill the bottle with rubbing alcohol.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 3:54 pm rating: +1
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#17 wicked opinion

oh look a preview button! ROOMMATES

Apr 1, 2008 at 8:59 am rating: +1

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- #17.1 Mishee
  
  why didn’t you just edit your posting? you can do that by clicking on the box for up to like, 5 minutes or something after submitting…
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 9:28 am rating: 0
- #17.2 wicked opinion
  
  I was attempting sarcasm…and referencing past users attempts at it as well…guess it didn’t work..sigh…
  
  Apr 3, 2008 at 2:01 pm rating: 0
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#18 Summer

OK, that skid marked underwear was fucking delicious, there, I said it!

Apr 1, 2008 at 9:25 am rating: 0

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#19 Canthz_B

I’ll bet the toothbrush incident left Bin and Cynthia with shit-eating grins!

Apr 1, 2008 at 10:08 am rating: +1

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- #19.1 amy d
  
  What a paradox. Your comment made me groan and laugh.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 10:48 am rating: 0
- #19.2 Mishee
  
  maybe it’s time to make a graph about it amy…
  
  (sorry, but after yesterday’s links to that site, it’s all I can think about!)
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
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#20 GhostWriter

To be fair, the “thong underwear” found on Bin and Cynthia’s tooth brushes was probably floss.

Apr 1, 2008 at 10:50 am rating: +1

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- #20.1 Bin George
  
  to be honest, we’re all commandos here ‘cept jimmy…. if jimmy wore thongs they would look like dingle berries
  
  Apr 2, 2008 at 3:12 am rating: 0
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#21 ryan

I don’t see how this note is passive aggressive.

Apr 1, 2008 at 11:09 am rating: 0

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- #21.1 mmm
  
  leaving a note is what’s passive aggressive. Leaving 75cents is also extremely passive aggressive. If Laura had the nerve to actually interrupt Jimmy while he was watching King of the Hill and told him to stop fucking using her soap and asked him if he needed 75cents and was the money the problem?, then there would obviously be no need for the PA-ness. TEAM Jimmy btw, what kind of idiot girl willingly shares a bathroom with a guy anyway? Like you don’t know what you’re in for. She knew and now she just wants to be a passive controlling bitch about it. Laura obviously has mommy/daddy issues!
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:30 pm rating: 0
- #21.2 Stanley Pringle
  
  Having lived with 6 girls, 2 bathrooms, and 4 guys, 1 bathroom (note the ratio), as well as growing up with three sisters, I feel confident that my anecdotal evidence sufficiently contradicts your hackneyed CW. Slags are slobs.
  
  Apr 7, 2008 at 12:07 pm rating: 0
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#22 unholyghost2003

Perhaps I have missed an important aspect of personal hygiene, (And I would also like to state for the record that I have never used a roommate’s beauty products without permission i.e. “Oh shit! I’m outta shampoo and I can’t get to the store ’till tomorrow, can I use yours?” or “Does that stuff really work? May I try it?”)

BUT what on EARTH are people doing with the soap that sharing it is so gross? I understand not wanting to subsidize your roommate’s grooming routine, but I have NEVER put a bar of soap ANYWHERE that would make it gross. Rub soap on hands/washcloth/sponge, use hands/washcloth/sponge to scrub body. The soap should not be in contact with any body part other than hands. If your roommate is so disgusting that you can’t handle his hands touching your soap ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO MOVE OUT.

Perhaps you shouldn’t be keeping your bar of soap in the shower, LAURA that is how it can get hit with rocket pubes and develops the little cracks that are a hot bed for fungal and bacterial growth. THAT is nasty.

Apr 1, 2008 at 11:25 am rating: +2

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- #22.1 PandoraWilde
  
  Because some people just lather the bar and rub bar and lather on their bodies without benefit of a washcloth.
  
  Now imagine the last place someone washes. Then follow to the FIRST place the NEXT person washes.
  
  Seems to equal EW to me
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:43 pm rating: +2
- #22.2 amy d
  
  Nice visual
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:51 pm rating: 0
- #22.3 unholyghost2003
  
  putting a bar of soap in a body crevice sounds like a recipe for disaster nonononononononononono!
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: 0
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#23 GhostWriter

Come On and Pay!
(based on the Offspring version)

…and featuring the line, “Buy your own Soap”

You got that skid-marked underwear

I write a note in the bathroom
But you keep spreading disease
Your shorts are crappy and they lay on the floor
Getting wetter when I step with my feet
The nasty smell, I can’t disregard
I always catch you soapin’, hair is all over, Gawd!
If ya wanna buy your own, it’ll run six bits
You gotta cough it up,
cough it up, cough it up , cough it up

Hey, can’t you personally see?
Clean ‘em up - You got that skid-marked underwear
Hey, watch your personal hygiene
Clean ‘em up - You got that skid-marked underwear
Hey, Jim don’t buy no Dial
or underarm deodorant, he does it ev’ry time
Hey, come on and pay!

By the time you see his sideburns
It’s already too late
Strands are on the soap and the farthest wall
Neutrogena- I’ll a just call it a waste
It clogs up the drain, unacceptable, foul!
You’re not getting smarter
You’re not learning the score
It’s never ending, really- does it violate and vex?
You gotta buy your own soap,
Buy your own soap
Buy your own!

Hey, can’t you personally see?
Clean ‘em up - You got that skid-marked underwear
Hey, watch your personal hygiene
Clean ‘em up - You got that skid-marked underwear
Hey, Jim don’t buy no Dial
or underarm deodorant, he does it ev’ry time
Hey, come on and pay

Apr 1, 2008 at 11:43 am rating: +1

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#24 gambrinus

ISTR an episode of Friends that addressed the issue of roommates sharing soap. I personally fall on the side of whoever in that episode said soap was intrinsically self-cleaning.

I mean really, if I were not fully confident in the cleaning power of soap, I would probably live my life much differently.

Apr 1, 2008 at 11:56 am rating: +3

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#25 marcopuffin

He is a pig. But why leave your stuff out? Change roommates or keep your stuff in your washbag. Or embed finely chopped garlic into soap.

Apr 1, 2008 at 12:34 pm rating: 0

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- #25.1 Suhayla
  
  washbag?
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
- #25.2 unholyghost2003
  
  a mesh bag for toiletries commonly used in dorms and other such places that have common bathrooms.
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 1:24 pm rating: 0
- #25.3 marcopuffin
  
  washbag was a toughie - sorry
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:38 pm rating: +1
- #25.4 Suhayla
  
  thanks for clarifying!
  
  Apr 2, 2008 at 6:08 am rating: 0
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#26 marcopuffin

oh and hide your toothbrush because you can be sure he’s cleaning the toilet with it by now.

Apr 1, 2008 at 12:36 pm rating: +4

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- #26.1 Mishee
  
  he can’t find the toothbrushes because his nasty underwear is on top of them!
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:43 pm rating: +1
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#27 web diversions

that change taped to the note: priceless.

Apr 1, 2008 at 1:04 pm rating: +1

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- #27.1 unholyghost2003
  
  pretty sure it is $.75 not priceless
  
  Apr 1, 2008 at 2:04 pm rating: +2
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#28 Anono

Damn Jimmy, you foul, disgusting, nasty, unacceptable, triflin SOB!!!!

Apr 1, 2008 at 1:30 pm rating: 0

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#29 pistola

How do you get soap dirty? Doesn’t it clean everthing it comes in contact with? I can think of much dirty things to expose a roomate to.

Apr 1, 2008 at 2:32 pm rating: +1

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- #29.1 wicked opinion
  
  you have obviously never seen a bar of soap streaked with dirt covered in little black hairs….although soap IS self-cleaning, do you want to be the one rinsing someone else’s DNA off of it?
  
  Apr 3, 2008 at 2:06 pm rating: 0
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#30 pistola

Is it me, or does this chick strike anyone else as the type of person that never lets things go.

Apr 1, 2008 at 2:40 pm rating: 0

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- #30.1 Bin George
  
  i’ll let laura answer this one……
  
  no comment…….she’ll cry if i answer….
  
  she makes awesome polish food
  
  Apr 2, 2008 at 3:04 am rating: 0
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#31 Heidi

ummm, I bet he doesent use the 75cent

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

maybe you should switch to body wash?

March 31st, 2008 · 83 comments

83 responses so far ↓