facebook schoolyard smackdown

April 1st, 2008 · 102 comments

“vet school is a sea of studying, testing, drinking and most of all: DRAMA,” reports an anonymous vet-to-be in ames, iowa. (in other words, it’s just like gossip girl.) of course, as new york magazine reports this week, facebook is taking run-of-the-mill classroom sniping to a whole new level of micro-bitchiness. if you have the patience (or the adderall) to follow it, our submitter gives us a play-by-play of one recent status-update smackdown. xoxo!

facebook vets peeved

facebook vets peeved

facebook vets peeved

facebook vets peeved

facebook vets peeved

facebook school smackdown continues

related: so obsessed that i’m becoming a bore

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FILED UNDER: facebook · iowa · kids today · saga



102 responses so far ↓

  • #1   aaa

    I have to say, Nick is my hero since he seems to be the only person under 30 who seems to get it. Even though his grammar does not live up to my Nazi standards.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: +3  

    • #1.1   Kristi

      I agree, Nick is the bomb!

      Apr 2, 2008 at 8:19 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #2   Wade

    I wonder if I can fit all that on a piece of flair.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 5:16 pm   rating: +8  

    • #2.1   aaa

      Well, the great thing about flair is that there’s supposed to be a lot of it. So if you put each status update and note on a separate piece, you’ll still be well below the flair minimum.

      Apr 1, 2008 at 5:19 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #2.2   mere

      instead of superpoke, it can be superbitch.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #3   marcopuffin

    I worry they’re going to bore the animals to death. BTW is this what “putting them down” means?

    Apr 1, 2008 at 5:19 pm   rating: +4  

     
  • #4   amazon

    I love self-aware passive aggression.

    Ceci n’est pas l’agression passive

    Apr 1, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: +3  

     
  • #5   Shanoney

    Wow . . . this reminds of me the last two years of college in a classroom full of 35 other females . . . (note: that many women in one group not a good idea) oh the drama that went down!
    I wonder if Jessika (http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/) even knows the definition of “study session”? Sheesh, you are suppose to ask questions!

    Apr 1, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 0  

    • #5.1   mamason

      Real women have no problem being around other females.

      Apr 1, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #5.2   Suhayla

      I agree mamason.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:19 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #5.3   gambrinus

      That link is…wow. Are all kids being born right now getting names like they’re from a trailer park? Also, I can’t decide if it’s more disturbing that people think “Jalen” (JayLynne, Jalyn, Jaylin) is a name, or that they can’t decide whether it’s a male or female name.

      Although I always figured ‘Jessika’ was just an ethnic spelling of some sort.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #5.4   unholyghost2003

      Recently spotted on Overheard in New York

      “Angry woman to friend: I have a contention with the way people pronounce my daughter’s name. I did not name by daughter ‘Lady Nasty’! I named my baby girl ‘La Dynasty.’”

      Apr 3, 2008 at 11:52 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #5.5   Quite Contrary

      My next door neighbor from long ago was named Cherish. I never knew verbs were so versatile!

      Apr 3, 2008 at 12:07 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B

    Jessika just may feel awfully silly when she’s a practicing vet and needs a consult.
    This kind of manure has a way of sticking to a reputation.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #7   Total Douche

    I want to know where this bitch plans on practicing, so I NEVER take my fucking dogs to her. Seriously, this whore needs a beating administered by Cesar Millan, and he should have Daddy maul her face off for being such an uptight bitch.
    “The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask” should be tattooed backwards on her forehead so she sees it every god-damn time she looks in a mirror!

    And the questions were FUCKING DELICIOUS!

    Apr 1, 2008 at 6:15 pm   rating: +2  

    • #7.1   ljchan

      Well… if you wouldn’t take your fucking dogs to her, would you take your spayed or neutered dogs to her??? Just wondering.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 2:31 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #7.2   Shut the hell up

      I think “If there are no stupid questions, then what kinds of questions do stupid people ask?” should be tattoed on the douchebag’s head.

      My money isn’t being spent so someone can use classtime to buddy up to the professor and show off how closely they payed attention in class, so they can nitpick slides or ask irrelevant or obviously unanswerable questions.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.3   tinkerbell2

      why, Jessika, is that you? talk us through the spelling of your name while you’re here.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 7:44 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #7.4   Total Douche

      Stupid people don’t know enough to ask questions, that’s why they’re stupid. Also, the nature of the questions isn’t addressed, and review sessions are to recap what you don’t quite get, not to sit there quietly with your thumb up your ass and hope for an “A”, when you realize you know “F” about the material.
      It has been my experience that the people who did ask “irrelevant or obviously unanswerable questions” were gone by week two (this being an obvious sign they were in over their head with the material), or at least by the first test. Plus, people have often asked questions that I haven’t thought of, the answer usually giving me a better understanding of the material. In my experience, I am fortunate enough to say that I’ve learned the art of learning from other people’s mistakes, as well as my own.
      And it’s TOTAL Douche, get it right!

      Apr 5, 2008 at 2:25 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.5   Total Douche

      …and “no,” I would not.

      Apr 5, 2008 at 2:35 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #8   Ricehead

    If this is the type of crap one has to put up with in VetEd, I would hate to see what Med. school would look like. Thank goodness for holistics!

    Apr 1, 2008 at 6:20 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #9   porcupine

    They’re so catty, hounding each other like that. What a pack of bitches - now they’ve left Jessica feline bad because they snapped at her. The way Vanessa keeps rabbiting on about her pet peeve is beastly. She’s so dogged about it too- stubborn as a mule. Although JeessiKaa doesn’t seem like the quiet mousey type either - she comes within a whisker of being plain ole aggressive, and I think her attitude is A-paw-ling.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 6:39 pm   rating: +14  

    • #9.1   marcopuffin

      I guess we should stop horsing around, this isn’t a kangeroo court. We might be barking up the wrong tree - Jessica’s probably feeling sheepish about her original words and Vanessa just wants to viper face in it.

      Apr 1, 2008 at 7:00 pm   rating: +11  

       
    • #9.2   Katzndogz

      What’s funny about this is that I was mentally correcting her spelling of the word “feeling” before I realized that the whole thing was supposed to be punny. Teh dork is I!

      Apr 2, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #9.3   Mishee

      Me too Katz

      Apr 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #9.4   Total Douche

      ditto

      Apr 5, 2008 at 5:08 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #10   porcupine

    Does anyone else see the advert at the top of the screen next to this - “help stop animal cruelty and suffering”? Maybe we could help by planting something illegal on Vanessa and getting her kicked out of vet school. Otherwise she’ll be inflicting herself on a whole lot of innocent kittehs.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #11   Quite Contrary

    I can”t wait for one of them to interview for a job and, as part of a background search, this dialog pops up and haunts them.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 7:14 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #12   vet girl

    I can’t believe our classmates’ drama is on this site! And here I thought the review session went well… Vet school is worse than high school. I’m just trying to get out alive!

    PS. Nick is awesome.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: +4  

    • #12.1   Canthz_B

      I’m sure your review session was OK. Besides, who am I to question?

      Apr 1, 2008 at 8:37 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #12.2   TuesdayPillow

      Does Nick give good head?

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:34 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #13   Wade

    As an aspiring veterinarian, Vanessa shows that the review sessions have paid off. She is now able to identify a bitch.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 9:34 pm   rating: +14  

     
  • #14   stefanynina

    Maybe if Jessika asked more questions she would know how to spell her name right!
    Grade one must have been hard on Jessica.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 10:03 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #15   Tyler

    It’s actually kind of hard to tell whose side to take on this. It could go either way. Jessika could be one of those people that hate when others ask questions, or she could just be annoyed by that one or two people who ask questions for either no reason, or they really should go talk to the teacher/teachers assistant at another time. If the later is the case, then those other girls are really over reacting…heck, even if Jessika is stuck up, those other girls are really over reacting…

    Apr 1, 2008 at 10:13 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #16   Sarah

    I bet Jessika rejects friend requests and “prunes” her friends list once a week to make sure everyone there is acceptable. She probably also invited people to the Zombies application, to throw in a bit of hypocrisy.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 10:28 pm   rating: 0  

    • #16.1   Olivia

      That made me smile. : )

      Apr 1, 2008 at 11:16 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #17   Brian

    I wish the person that submitted this would let them know that it’s out here. I can see them wanting to make their case and then whole thing would re-flash in the comments here. I’d love a front row seat!

    Apr 1, 2008 at 10:53 pm   rating: +2  

    • #17.1   marcopuffin

      Yes! I think it’s the DUTY of whoever posted it.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:01 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #18   unholyghost2003

    Ugh. Why I never went to study groups. The only options seem to be 1) feeling like a ‘tard who slept through every class 2) feeling like the only asshole who paid attention and has more than two brain cells to rub together.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 10:59 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #19   Olivia

    Team Jessika. Yeah, she was being an ass, but Vanessa was going way overboard. (On a seperate note, I feel like I’m writing about some teen drama…)

    Also, to Vanessa’s “you should think before Facebooking comment”: Bitch, you should read your entries before posting them. Seriously - tiepoez make your posts look so not-smart.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 11:15 pm   rating: +2  

    • #19.1   meh

      For she who casts the first stone…

      Apr 1, 2008 at 11:24 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #19.2   Quite Contrary

      Team Neither One of Them! Well, maybe Team Peanut Gallery.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #20   Lauren

    ‘Bout time some Facebook stuff showed up!

    Apr 1, 2008 at 11:25 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #21   shoelessjo

    no you fools, review sessions aren’t for asking questions, they are for summarizing the course content into one or two lectures a short time before the exam.

    All of you who say it’s ok to ask lots of questions at a review session misses the point entirely. It’s review of the ENTIRE course, not a Q and A session that deals with specific issues.

    if you have stupid questions* , be sure that no one else wants to hear them, and save them for the f***ing office hours! That’s why profs and T.A.’s make sure to be in their office for 3-4 scheduled hours a week. To answer your idiotic questions!!

    *Stupid Questions - these are questions that ask professors about irrelevant details that while related to the lectures are besides the current point of the lecture. You will probably learn more about these details in more advanced courses or maybe they are presented in the text but not important enough to address in the lecture.

    Really, I see fools like Vanessa in my lectures all the time. For example, the guy in my computer science class who finds a lecture on how data is stored in memory the perfect time to ask about how a banks memory system works… “dear professor, how can a bank hold so many names in its database!” Whereupon the professor goes on a rant about bank computer systems, while the class becomes increasing irritated at the students incessant nodding at the professor during his explanation, and the fact that we aren’t learning anything that will be on the exam.

    Apr 1, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: +2  

    • #21.1   prairielily

      Jessika? Is that you?

      Apr 1, 2008 at 11:38 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #21.2   unholyghost2003

      oh jo. but what you don’t seem to grasp is that the stuff on the exam is not always the stuff you need in real life and that the exam might be changed based on what you have or have not covered. Here is a real college lesson for you, PLAY YOUR PROF’S INTERESTS AGAINST HIM/HER.

      I once had a prof who hated the French (don’t ask) but the more we could get him ranting on how much he hates the French the LESS STUFF THERE WOULD BE ON THE NEXT TEST because we hadn’t covered it.

      Apr 1, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #21.3   Crash

      shoelessjo,
      How do they get that big chunk of ice through that tiny hole in a bottle ?

      Apr 2, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #21.4   Tyler

      If two “ox” are called “oxen” and multiple “goose” are called “geese”, then why are not multiple “box” called “boxen” and multiple “moose” called “meese”?

      Apr 2, 2008 at 2:11 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #21.5   claw71

      Tyler we will have no theft of comedy without credit. Stop stealing from Gallagher. If he sued his own brother what will he do to you?

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:37 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #21.6   bellabeastie

      Hey Jo- If a dog drops dead in the forest and there is no one there to hear it is it really dead? Oops, I forgot.

      Team Gotta Save Stupid Questions For Office Hours. wtf.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 8:01 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #21.7   Canthz_B

      Jo must be a dream student to have.
      One who can decide what is important enough to be included in a lecture really need not attend class.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 9:37 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #21.8   Lurker

      I wish I had had more instructors like yours, unholyghost - we were expectd to have mastered everything on the syllabus whether it had been covered in class ot the assigned readings, or not.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 9:38 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #21.9   anglophile

      UHG: Your professor hated the French? Why?

      Apr 2, 2008 at 9:39 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #21.10   unholyghost2003

      Glo! I said Don’t Ask! … honestly I am not 100% sure. I mean he is a very conservative Prof at a very conservative school … but It goes deeper than “Freedom Fries” I think he just dislikes a lot of their schools of theory AND disagrees with France politically … but his anti-French rantings consisted mostly of stuff like “Goddamn rifle dropping Frogs! Stupid sons of bitches Dadaists.” and then mumbling.

      Lurker,
      Did you gather together as a group and present a cohesive argument as to WHY that should not be the case?

      Apr 2, 2008 at 10:02 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #21.11   anglophile

      I’m sorry. I forgot it was bad to ask questions.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 10:03 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #21.12   Julia

      Depends on the review session style. At my drama farm, I mean vet school, all review sessions are Q&A and the professors do not prepare material. The point is to ask questions to clear up stuff you don’t understand. If I don’t get a concept I will beat it to death at the review session and I don’t care how annoyed everyone else is, I’m paying $18k a year to get this crap.

      On the other hand the people that show up to review sessions and ask things like “I read x and y in z study, how do you think that affects the information on slide 37 viewed in the context of global warming” deserve to be shot.

      Apr 4, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #22   Smartie Pants

    I don’t want to stick up for the enemy here, but I was thinking maybe Jessika just didn’t want CERTAIN people asking questions at the review sessions.. not that that’s fair or anything, but I can somewhat relate. You know, when there are certain people that ask the most ridiculous questions, or even ask questions just so they can THEN answer them?! Annoying! But this was hilarious anyway, I love Facebook drama too! hahha

    Apr 2, 2008 at 2:36 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #23   Suhayla

    THIS is drama? Ha. Ha. Ha.

    Back in my day, drama was when people slept with other people’s boyfriends or husbands, or sabotaged others in significant ways. Even nerd ‘drama’ should be more compelling than this — come on. Where are the torrid affairs that are a mainstay of universities everywhere? Don’t you guys have to compete for money, or critique each others’ work?

    Stop trying to make this immature nitpickery sound significant by calling it ‘drama.’

    Apr 2, 2008 at 6:27 am   rating: +1  

    • #23.1   Oedipus

      I’m hearing ya’ Suhayla. In my day drama meant sleeping with your mother, killing your father and gouging your eyes out in despair, not to mention answering a few curly questions thrown your way from a sphinx. Sheesh, kids these days…

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:35 am   rating: +3