writes jake in los angeles: “at home for christmas (in greenville, s.c.) i mentioned in passing that i would ‘try’ to make it home for easter, which is what most southern refugee children with guilt complexes tell their doting mothers even though both sides know said child has no intention of showing up to hide eggs and eat ham.” jake’s mom, bless her heart, didn’t get the memo.
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106 responses so far ↓
#1 amy d
Moms are teh best at guilt-tripping.
Apr 2, 2008 at 3:31 pm
#2 Mishee
my mother’s favorite line is “I see, well, I guess I’ll remember that”….
That poor, poor kitty!
I notice the title of this post is most likely in homage for Wade’s favorite “other www pleasure” (besides pron of course!) lol
Apr 2, 2008 at 3:35 pm
#3 unholyghost2003
I love Mom signing her “initial” M … wow picking out the sad cat card OUCH
What she couldn’t find a snoopy card and just mention how many hours she was in labor?
Apr 2, 2008 at 3:37 pm
#4 Katzndogz
I will not do it, Mom-I-M,
I will not hide eggs and eat ham!
Apr 2, 2008 at 3:40 pm
#5 Coke-aholic
Hey I thought the Easter bunny was supposed to hide the eggs! Here I have been doing all the work when my kids were the ones supposed to be hiding the eggs so I could find them. I have been sooo ripped off.
Apr 2, 2008 at 3:58 pm
#6 carrie
oh wow, *i* felt guilty reading this.
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:05 pm
#7 GhostWriter
Cut me a break on the lyrics; I was baked by the time I got through the singalong link…
So, so you think you can tell the Kitty, “Like Hell!”
I ‘ll try to arrange
Coming home’s a great feelin’, but the cost’s steep; well…
You tire from the tale?
Don’t you think you can travel?
and at the Easter Parade you’ll hear us propose
to beg your release
attend, for a spell, please?
Come comfort our rage
and did you exchange a walk-on part at our brunch for procedural debate?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
I brought two “hot stuff” women in a punch bug, for you this year,
Look ‘em over, they seem alone.
What have you found? This ain’t your teacher.
Wish you were here.
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:06 pm
#8 johnnyboy
“wish you were coming home but I unclestaul ?”
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:08 pm
#9 prairielily
I wish PAN Goddess would put up the note I sent in, also from Greenville, SC. Apparently, it’s a cesspool of passive aggressive behaviour.
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:09 pm
#10 sarcastic monkey
‘Wish you were coming home, bid, I understand. M’
Is he too busy on eBay to see his mom for easter? For shame…
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:13 pm
#11 secondsout
I got a card from my grandmother one Easter that read, “maybe go to church this year?”
The rest of my family has been laughing about that one for years.
And her PA guilt trip didn’t work. I’m not even a C&E churchgoer. No thanks!
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:18 pm
#12 Freddie
Dude, if she’s going to give you shit anyway, grow a set and next time tell her you just aren’t going to come home.
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:30 pm
#13 yourmom
Gosh, here’s hoping the old bat just dies already and you don’t ever have to see her again.
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:54 pm
#14 marcopuffin
This made me feel a bit weepy and pretty guilty - damn, she’s good.
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:54 pm
#15 damon
My god, the guilt dripping from this note is so thick and rich that I could pour it over pancakes.
Apr 2, 2008 at 4:58 pm
#16 Quite Contrary
I’m 45, haven’t been home for Easter since probably the early 80’s and, yet, Mom still asks me if I’m coming home for Easter every year. If it wasn’t for the handwriting, I would insist this card was from MY mother.
Apr 2, 2008 at 5:06 pm
#17 Sarah
He should give in and go home. When his mom asks him what made him change his mind, he should respond:
“I’m just in it for the chocolate!”
Apr 2, 2008 at 5:15 pm
#18 Mishee
Even better than her signing it “Love, M” is that when my brother gives our mom a B-Day or Mother’s Day card, to this day (he is 30, but this one doesn’t matter what age he is) he signs it “Love, Joey Barros”
It’s like she doesn’t know which Joey she got that “I Love You Always, Mom” card from?? I still crack up about it…
Apr 2, 2008 at 5:44 pm
#19 Troy McClure
Too much hassle to go home for Easter, Jake? Jesus managed it, and he was fucking dead.
Apr 2, 2008 at 6:13 pm
#20 Your Mother Who Loves You
Sometimes a card is just a card. Sheesh
Apr 2, 2008 at 6:28 pm
#21 Olivia
Good for her. It’s not good for her (or anyone’s) health to fester on negative emotions.
Suffice it to say I’m Team Mom. ; )
Apr 2, 2008 at 10:41 pm
#22 Tyler
Since when did they start making lolcat greeting cards? And why don’t the carry them at my local places of business?
Apr 2, 2008 at 11:34 pm
#23 known unknown
ooof! I’d submit some from my mother but
A) they’re in French, and
B) there’s no such thing as a passive aggressive French woman
you’re creative people, imagine mommy sending you a ring attached to a card before Christmas explaining that “obviously you don’t ever plan on coming back to France, so I’ll start sending you your inheritance bit by bit…”
Mind you, I saw her in the states for Thanksgiving and forwarded her my xmas itinerary the week before…only a week’s stay = never going back to France.
so yeah,I’m Team I’d Prefer The Wonky Kitty Card And Feigned Understanding all the way.
Apr 3, 2008 at 12:21 am
#24 Tarn
Southern mothers? Jewish mothers? Pah! The Irish mother beats them all. My siblings and I could dine out on the tales of my mum’s PA-ness.
Every time I visit her, I’m very clear about when I have to leave. And every time, when I start packing up, she’s all, ‘but… I thought you’d stay longer!’ With actual teary eyes, sometimes. And she’s been playing the ‘I won’t be here much longer’ card for years.
Alexander the Great was right (He said about his mother, ‘She charges a high rate for nine month’s lodging’…. )
Apr 3, 2008 at 6:04 am
#25 claw71
This is so not PA and Jake is just a theatrical little dick looking for more attention than he deserves. Southern mothers aren’t PA. Shame on you for stealing a personality trait from Catholic and Jewish mothers and claiming it for the South. There’s no guilt in this note. No PS about the $300 ham that will got to waste or an aside about Aunt Beatrice and her ailing health. Get over it.
What’s your mother supposed to say? WOO HOO! Now we can have a swingers’ party?
It’s like that post card that reads wish you were here …nobody means that. Jake, your mom was probably thrilled you skipped Easter but she’ll never say it because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. You on the other hand, have tried to make her look like some manipulative bitch on the world wide web. Apparently tact and class are recessive traits.
Apr 3, 2008 at 8:59 am
#26 KittyPants
Team Mom!!!
Apr 3, 2008 at 10:35 am
#27 Mom's ID
Dear Jake:
Even though I invited you out and expressed disappointment that you won’t be joining us for Easter I was actually thrilled. To be honest, after years of busting my ass every single fucking holiday I need a little down time. In fact, it would be wonderful if you could get your shit together and start hosting a few family shindigs yourself. Especially Thanksgiving. Do you think I like wrestling with a 25 pound turkey and all the fixings while you and your fat-assed father watch football all day?
I’m going to say I wish you could be here but what I really mean is that I wish you could be here less. Maybe someday you’ll get that.
Apr 3, 2008 at 11:57 am
#28 Dakota
He should feel guilty if he lied.
Personally - I could write that note and really mean that I understand - and I do. Life is busy and kids grow up and move on.
Maybe he has a passive aggressive attitude from his dad that made the boy look at his mom as a control freak when she isn’t. Sometimes the one who looks at a request as a control issue is really the passive aggressive in the situation. Lying is part of pa behavior too. Blaming the other person esp when they are asking for something on a relationship level is also a pa sign.
I’d say read “living with the passive aggressive man” to really identify a p.a. and I don’t think it’s t