I can has guilt trip?

April 2nd, 2008 · 112 comments

Writes Jake in Los Angeles: “At home for Christmas (in Greenville, South Carolina) I mentioned in passing that I would ‘try’ to make it home for Easter, which is what most southern refugee children with guilt complexes tell their doting mothers even though both sides know said child has no intention of showing up to hide eggs and eat ham.”

Jake’s mom, bless her heart, didn’t get the memo.

I am a sad cat wearing bunny ears.

Wish you were coming home but I understand. Love, M

related: Too many

FILED UNDER: guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · South Carolina · southern charm


112 responses so far ↓

  • #1   amy d bang

    Moms are teh best at guilt-tripping.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 3:31 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Joe

      Wow. I really fail to see any aggression in this so-called “passive-aggressive” note. I think Jake’s mother is taking it well, considering Jake lied. All she said is that she wished you could make it. And she said she understood that you couldn’t. Really, is expressing a desire to see one’s child (on a traditionally family-centered holiday, no less) inappropriate?

      BTW: Saying you’ll try even if you both know that you have no intention of trying — if you’re going to operate under that lie, then she has every reason to act accordingly as well.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 4:42 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Jake

      You obviously have no clue how a Southern Mother operates. When Southern Mother asks if you’re coming home for Easter, a simple “No” will not suffice–it will dig your grave. After hearing “No,” Southern Mother, politely, will then propose so many solutions and reasons for your home-coming that the Mom shield, normally used for deflecting PA arguments, becomes so riddled with holes that you either take a bullet, or lose your temper and fight back.

      I wish a “lie” were that simple. I wish I could sit down with my Mother and give her the 300 rational reasons why I can’t fly across the country for weekend. I wish she would shake her head and say, “Wow, I guess I’ve never looked at things from that perspective before.”

      Instead of “Oh no, I’m not trying to be a nag. It’s just that I love you so much, and I love seeing you! But I understand.”

      Now that’s playing in the big leagues people.

      Gee, I’m getting misty. How I love that passive-aggressive old bitty. (Sniffle)

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:39 pm   rating: 68  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Zsa bang

      Actually, Jake-my-boy, this is nothing. The BIG guns have not been removed from their protective plastic coverings. There will come a day when half way thru the same tired old conversation about visits she will give a little sigh and say “Well, I just hope I make it until your next visit then, Sugar. I havent been feeling so well lately.”

      ‘Its my last holiday on earth’ will then be in play.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:49 pm   rating: 99  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Mishee bang

      Ah Zsa! My homegirl! Miss ya!

      Time to get outta here, but I had to say hi to you!! :D

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Zsa bang

      Thanks Mishee! I’m bored at work for once and had to respond to this one. catch you on the filp side later.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Quite Contrary

      My mother walked into my new house shortly after I bought it. I was describing my long term plan (5+ years out) of what I wanted to change and enhance. She got a little quiet and said that she was sad she wouldn’t be alive to see it. To this day, I haven’t come up with a response. Her last health crisis was a cold.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   mamason bang

      I found that after one little “mishap” in the guest shower, no more invites. Go figure! :-P

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Zsa bang

      Dang it Mama, I want your mom! Even pre-marital sex that damaged a wall didnt get me un-invited. Just put on the sofa bed from then on (even now that we are married)

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   mamason bang

      Pre-marital sex in my sainted mother’s guest bath? 8-O Perish the thought. What I meant was, I took a dump in the shower. What can I say? I didn’t have time to go to the gym. :-|

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:50 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   amazon bang

      Jewish mom’s are even better! Easter guilt is nothing compared to Passover guilt.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   unholyghost2003 bang

      Awww come on guys! Be careful or I will start busting out PA Guilt trip stories of my Jew turned Catholic Mother and me, her one and only child. She turned my southern husband into a resentful, guilt ridden puddle in one shot. (she kinda over shot on accident, since she was used to using her guilt rays on me and I have developed a MUCH higher immunity)

      Apr 3, 2008 at 8:47 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   Centaurea

      Oh, Jake’s Mom, there’s no need to masquerade as Joe…

      Apr 3, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Joe

      Hahaha! You crack me up, Centaurea. Yeah, I was afraid it might sound that way.

      But I DO have a southern mother, and, as you say, Jake, this is normal behavior — which, really, should make this note LESS PA than it’s being made to be. It’s small potatoes compared to the guilt trips mothers are able to dish out. And I still think it’s completely reasonable. (My mother (of 5 children) is now an empty nester, and as the closest one to home, I get targeted quite often for her “come visit” pleadings. I can’t imagine what it’s like going from a full household to an empty one so quickly. )

      Apr 3, 2008 at 3:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mishee bang

    my mother’s favorite line is “I see, well, I guess I’ll remember that”….

    That poor, poor kitty!

    I notice the title of this post is most likely in homage for Wade’s favorite “other www pleasure” (besides pron of course!) lol

    Apr 2, 2008 at 3:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   mamason bang

      Wade likes “pron”? Freak! Now, if he would only develope a healthy interest in porn… :-)

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Troy McClure bang

      Yeah that Wade, he really loves his pronouns. I’ve often heard him say “I think I‘ll go watch some pornography now”, “My control tower is all red and raw for some reason”, things like that.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Wade bang

      I see.

      I think I would be tempted to RSVP with this.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 8:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Troy McClure bang

      See? 33% pronouns.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 8:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   anglophile bang

      Look, as long as the pronouns are used between consenting adults, I don’t see what the big deal is, Troy. You’ll forgive me for mentioning it, but you seem a little stuck on the whole pronoun issue. I mean, calculating the pronoun rate of other posters’ comments? I bet you’re doing it to this one right now, aren’t you? Aren’t you?

      Apr 2, 2008 at 8:55 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   unholyghost2003 bang

    I love Mom signing her “initial” M … wow picking out the sad cat card OUCH

    What she couldn’t find a snoopy card and just mention how many hours she was in labor?

    Apr 2, 2008 at 3:37 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   amy d bang

      Nice call-back, UHG! :mrgreen:

      Apr 2, 2008 at 3:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Coke-aholic bang

      That cat is not sad, it is seriously ticked off! Just like Mom was! See, it has that look on its face like, “You come near me and I will kick your ass.”

      Apr 2, 2008 at 4:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   secondsout bang

      No, I think the cat is sad. Look at that embarrassing shit it’s forced to wear. It’s a feline version of the scene in “A Christmas Story.”

      Apr 2, 2008 at 4:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Bellabeastie

      Looks like something from that site called “Stuff on My Cat”.

      Check it out – funny shit!

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   zoe

      I do think it’s very odd about the initial…unless her name is Mary, but it’s still strange to sign your child’s card with an initial.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 8:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Centaurea

      Having a similarly PA mother, I can tell you that it’s to signify that she’s so sad she can’t bear to sign all 3 letters. She ran out of steam at one.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 2:29 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Katzndogz bang

    I will not do it, Mom-I-M,
    I will not hide eggs and eat ham!

    Apr 2, 2008 at 3:40 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Coke-aholic bang

    Hey I thought the Easter bunny was supposed to hide the eggs! Here I have been doing all the work when my kids were the ones supposed to be hiding the eggs so I could find them. I have been sooo ripped off.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      depends on how old your kids are Coke. Around here my hubby and I hide eggs and a basket for my parents and they hide eggs and a basket for us. Easter fun for everyone!

      Apr 2, 2008 at 4:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   secondsout bang

      You’re old enough to be married and you hide eggs for your parents? I can’t imagine my parents at the age of 60 running around with an easter basket, looking for eggs.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 4:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      Yup, it is AWESOME. We do it like a scavenger hunt with each plastic egg with a note in it leading to the hiding spot of the NEXT note egg. Also the Easter baskets are not just candy and a couple of crappy easter toys (though there is that too) this year we gave my folks some packs of disposable lighters, some DVDs, candy, and the big prize: a beer brewing kit with the promise we will teach them to brew their own beer.
      The clues are all word jumbles, anagrams and literary references. In my house we believe you are never too old to play.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 8:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   secondsout bang

      I always thought of the easter egg hunt as something that the parents set up to get the kids out of the house for a while. “OK, kids, we hid 200 eggs around the neighborhood. They’re all over the place. Get going on looking, and don’t come home until you have all 200, or until it gets dark. In the meantime, while you’re looking for the hidden eggs, your mom and I will hide the sausage. Have fun, kids!”

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      Well I hope I helped change your mind!

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   secondsout bang

      Well, maybe now that you’re older, the tables have turned. It’s now an elaborate way to keep your parents out of your hair for an hour or two. Well done!

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   carrie

    oh wow, *i* felt guilty reading this.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   GhostWriter bang

    Cut me a break on the lyrics; I was baked by the time I got through the singalong link…

    So, so you think you can tell the Kitty, “Like Hell!”
    I ‘ll try to arrange
    Coming home’s a great feelin’, but the cost’s steep; well…
    You tire from the tale?
    Don’t you think you can travel?
    and at the Easter Parade you’ll hear us propose
    to beg your release
    attend, for a spell, please?
    Come comfort our rage
    and did you exchange a walk-on part at our brunch for procedural debate?
    How I wish, how I wish you were here.
    I brought two “hot stuff” women in a punch bug, for you this year,
    Look ‘em over, they seem alone.
    What have you found? This ain’t your teacher.
    Wish you were here.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Mishee bang

      GW, this song made my day… that’s my fav Floyd song of all time…

      Apr 2, 2008 at 4:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   GhostWriter bang

      Who didn’t spend the entire Easter weekend of each college year listening to Floyd albums?

      “Ghosty, it’s time to eat. Please take those headphones off…”

      “Aw, Ma! I just started part six of Shine On You Crazy Diamond, and there are three more parts to go!”

      Apr 3, 2008 at 8:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Mishee bang

      I didn’t realize that people who went to college and people who listened to Floyd (other than Dark Side, everyone likes that) went hand in hand. I relate Floyd with driving around in my friend’s car all night with 6 people in the backseat of a ’95 Tercel blasting Have a Cigar while barely able to see out through the cloud of smoke, passing the bong/pipe/joint/blunt (whatever that round was) and being so proud when we were able to do the part where he sings “We call it Riding the Gravy Train.” and drags out Train forever.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 9:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   GhostWriter bang

      I did all the same stuff, but in a dormroon the size of a 95 Tercel.

      My brother would pretend to place an invisible bubble around my head and furiously spin it around, for the last segment of Welcome to the Machine. Then, when the party voices suddenly increase, he’d lift off the bubble. And I would nearly blow a nut, every time.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 10:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   secondsout bang

      You don’t even have to be in college yet to enjoy Floyd. Who among us wasn’t a depressed teenager angry about life and the monotony of existence? I love Pink Floyd, but now that I’m not a depressed teenager, I am not that often in the mood to listen to it.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   GhostWriter bang

      You need to let me do that invisible bubble thing to you. You’ll blow a nut.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 3:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Sundaeg1rl

      Can you come over and show me too? *gets excited*

      Apr 3, 2008 at 4:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   johnnyboy

    “wish you were coming home but I unclestaul ?”

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   prairielily

    I wish PAN Goddess would put up the note I sent in, also from Greenville, SC. Apparently, it’s a cesspool of passive aggressive behaviour.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   pry

      my note hasn’t made it, either (from asheville, close by). i don’t really think this note is passive-aggressive, since we’ve all gotten a similar card from mom, haven’t we?

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   prairielily

      Maybe you have. My mother is a member of the borderline emotionally abusive screaming school of motherhood. They’re constantly at odds with the passive aggressive guilt-tripping school.

      Luckily, my family does not celebrate Easter.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Centaurea

      You’re lucky; my mom has PhDs from both schools.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 2:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   sarcastic monkey

    ‘Wish you were coming home, bid, I understand. M’

    Is he too busy on eBay to see his mom for easter? For shame…

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   secondsout bang

    I got a card from my grandmother one Easter that read, “maybe go to church this year?”

    The rest of my family has been laughing about that one for years.

    And her PA guilt trip didn’t work. I’m not even a C&E churchgoer. No thanks!

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:18 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Freddie

    Dude, if she’s going to give you shit anyway, grow a set and next time tell her you just aren’t going to come home.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   yourmom

    Gosh, here’s hoping the old bat just dies already and you don’t ever have to see her again.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   marcopuffin bang

    This made me feel a bit weepy and pretty guilty – damn, she’s good.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   damon

    My god, the guilt dripping from this note is so thick and rich that I could pour it over pancakes.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Mishee bang

      maybe if you go over to mom’s on Easter sunday, she will make you some nice, fluffy, guilt ridden pancakes!

      I know my mother likes to torture me by calling me sometimes and telling me what they are having for dinner. Like I can just jump into the the car and drive 2 hrs to go grab a plate or something!

      Apr 2, 2008 at 5:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   mamason bang

      But she made some extra, Mishee!!

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Quite Contrary

    I’m 45, haven’t been home for Easter since probably the early 80′s and, yet, Mom still asks me if I’m coming home for Easter every year. If it wasn’t for the handwriting, I would insist this card was from MY mother.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 5:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Sarah bang

    He should give in and go home. When his mom asks him what made him change his mind, he should respond:

    “I’m just in it for the chocolate!”

    Apr 2, 2008 at 5:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Mishee bang

    Even better than her signing it “Love, M” is that when my brother gives our mom a B-Day or Mother’s Day card, to this day (he is 30, but this one doesn’t matter what age he is) he signs it “Love, Joey Barros”

    It’s like she doesn’t know which Joey she got that “I Love You Always, Mom” card from?? I still crack up about it…

    Apr 2, 2008 at 5:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Troy McClure bang

    Too much hassle to go home for Easter, Jake? Jesus managed it, and he was fucking dead.

    Apr 2, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   mamason bang

      Oh, the irreverence of it all! :-)

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   secondsout bang

      At first glance, I thought you wrote “the irrelevance of it all.” That would make sense, too. Easter’s pretty irrelevant in my book.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   mamason bang

      And yet, Jesus loves you! :-)

      Apr 2, 2008 at 7:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   secondsout bang

      True that. I mean, the guy got crucified on a Friday, forgot the safe word and thus died, went to hell, paid for my sins and still made it back in time for Easter. Whatta guy! Maybe I should drink his blood and eat his body.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 8:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Quite Contrary

      I bequeath my current “Word of the Day!” to you. That is priceless, Troy. (And, let me tell you, I am very excited about my WOTD appearance!)

      Apr 2, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe Jesus didn’t mean to come back here from Hell. He just got so drunk partying down there that He forgot where His Father’s House was.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 11:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   Troy McClure bang

      Gosh, thanks, QC. And congrats on your Word; you deserve to be excited.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 11:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.8   secondsout bang

      CB, anyone who has ever been that drunk knows where to go find more wine, especially if it’s at his own father’s house. Of course, then again, this is the man who could turn the water into wine and just keep the party going. Hmmm…

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.9   Centaurea

      Wow, you’re not even a Mom and you just came up with the best Can’t Come Home For Easter retort ever!

      Apr 3, 2008 at 2:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.10   Sundaeg1rl

      LMAO, Jesus only managed it because he was sick of the cards from his M (for Mary). A charcoal sketch on papyrus of a donkey wearing a chick costume, and the words “You don’t want to upset your father…”

      Apr 3, 2008 at 2:57 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.11   secondsout bang

      Which father? The “most chaste spouse” or “the holy ghost” you claim knocked you up?

      Apr 3, 2008 at 3:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.12   Sundaeg1rl

      Dare you find out?

      P.S. http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/01/09/funny-pictures-godbunny-is-watching-you/

      Apr 3, 2008 at 3:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.13   Quite Contrary

      Fire up the van to hell and get on board!

      Apr 3, 2008 at 3:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.14   Monique

      Ooh, that’s Catholic guilt right there.

      Oct 25, 2009 at 6:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Your Mother Who Loves You

    Sometimes a card is just a card. Sheesh

    Apr 2, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   se

      I have to agree, and, maybe she really does “understand”.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 6:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Quite Contrary

      Tell me, do you think she really does understand? If she did, she wouldn’t have to say she did.

      Apr 2, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   GhostWriter bang

      The “I understand” part perplexes me. For a Mom to write, “I understand”, some preposterous fable must have been fed to her.

      “I honestly would come home this year, but I joined the church choir and they gave me the baritone solo for “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”. I can’t let them down, Ma!”

      Apr 3, 2008 at 8:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   foodporncess

      You, my love, are probably not from the south :)

      Bless your little heart.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 12:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Olivia bang

    Good for her. It’s not good for her (or anyone’s) health to fester on negative emotions.

    Suffice it to say I’m Team Mom. ; )

    Apr 2, 2008 at 10:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Tyler bang

    Since when did they start making lolcat greeting cards? And why don’t the carry them at my local places of business?

    Apr 2, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   known unknown bang

    ooof! I’d submit some from my mother but
    A) they’re in French, and

    B) there’s no such thing as a passive aggressive French woman

    you’re creative people, imagine mommy sending you a ring attached to a card before Christmas explaining that “obviously you don’t ever plan on coming back to France, so I’ll start sending you your inheritance bit by bit…”

    Mind you, I saw her in the states for Thanksgiving and forwarded her my xmas itinerary the week before…only a week’s stay = never going back to France.

    so yeah,I’m Team I’d Prefer The Wonky Kitty Card And Feigned Understanding all the way.

    Apr 3, 2008 at 12:21 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Tarn

    Southern mothers? Jewish mothers? Pah! The Irish mother beats them all. My siblings and I could dine out on the tales of my mum’s PA-ness.
    Every time I visit her, I’m very clear about when I have to leave. And every time, when I start packing up, she’s all, ‘but… I thought you’d stay longer!’ With actual teary eyes, sometimes. And she’s been playing the ‘I won’t be here much longer’ card for years.

    Alexander the Great was right (He said about his mother, ‘She charges a high rate for nine month’s lodging’…. )

    Apr 3, 2008 at 6:04 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   claw71 bang

    This is so not PA and Jake is just a theatrical little dick looking for more attention than he deserves. Southern mothers aren’t PA. Shame on you for stealing a personality trait from Catholic and Jewish mothers and claiming it for the South. There’s no guilt in this note. No PS about the $300 ham that will got to waste or an aside about Aunt Beatrice and her ailing health. Get over it.

    What’s your mother supposed to say? WOO HOO! Now we can have a swingers’ party?

    It’s like that post card that reads wish you were here …nobody means that. Jake, your mom was probably thrilled you skipped Easter but she’ll never say it because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. You on the other hand, have tried to make her look like some manipulative bitch on the world wide web. Apparently tact and class are recessive traits.

    Apr 3, 2008 at 8:59 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Quite Contrary

      My father, bless his heart, would say “Woo hoo! Now we can have a swingers party.” He likes it when my work or other obligations keep me from family events. To him, it means I have a life and commitments that need me, and that is how he wants it. (Or at least that what he says to my face.)

      Would it shock you to learn my parents are divorced?

      Apr 3, 2008 at 9:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Summer

      The worst:
      “Oh, try and come home honey, do what’s in your heart”.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 10:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   marcopuffin bang

      Maybe in response to Jake’s www betrayal, his mum should post that early pic of him sitting proudly on the potty.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   KittyPants

    Team Mom!!!

    Apr 3, 2008 at 10:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Mom's ID

    Dear Jake:

    Even though I invited you out and expressed disappointment that you won’t be joining us for Easter I was actually thrilled. To be honest, after years of busting my ass every single fucking holiday I need a little down time. In fact, it would be wonderful if you could get your shit together and start hosting a few family shindigs yourself. Especially Thanksgiving. Do you think I like wrestling with a 25 pound turkey and all the fixings while you and your fat-assed father watch football all day?

    I’m going to say I wish you could be here but what I really mean is that I wish you could be here less. Maybe someday you’ll get that.

    Apr 3, 2008 at 11:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Dakota

    He should feel guilty if he lied.
    Personally – I could write that note and really mean that I understand – and I do. Life is busy and kids grow up and move on.
    Maybe he has a passive aggressive attitude from his dad that made the boy look at his mom as a control freak when she isn’t. Sometimes the one who looks at a request as a control issue is really the passive aggressive in the situation. Lying is part of pa behavior too. Blaming the other person esp when they are asking for something on a relationship level is also a pa sign.
    I’d say read “living with the passive aggressive man” to really identify a p.a. and I don’t think it’s this guy’s mom……i think it’s this guy.

    Apr 3, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Mung Bean

    Wow. Just, wow.

    This cutsy little card is like a guilt-filled daisycutter of passive-aggressiveness. If I had received this from my Mom, those words she wrote would be rattling around inside my head, day and night, for at least a couple of months.

    This mother doesn’t deserve a visit from her son. She should be shackled and dragged to the Hague.

    Apr 3, 2008 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Heidi

    hahahahaha!!! Yea, this nothing. It could have been way worse!

    Apr 3, 2008 at 3:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Sundaeg1rl

    For the record, my mother is from the South of England, and she did far worse than this this year. When the PA notes didn’t work and I hadn’t been back ‘home’ for a good 3 years, she took matters into her own hands: she travelled 300 miles and turned up on my doorstep unannounced to deliver her own Passive-Aggressive-O-Gram.

    SO BE WARNED!!!!

    Apr 3, 2008 at 4:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Coke-aholic bang

      Then your mother really did have a guilt trip!

      Apr 3, 2008 at 10:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Pilcrow

    That guilt trip was fucking delicious.

    Apr 3, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Hmmmm!

      The chocolate rabbit was fucking delicious, too! It had a bit of a…feline aftertaste.

      Apr 4, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   huv123

    ha I read every response. You guys really made me laugh.

    Not that this is a competition but jewish mothers really do win out.

    Fulfilling every stereotype my mother is on the war path about my brother and his lack of wife.

    At least it keeps the heat off me for a while.

    Apr 4, 2008 at 8:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Quite Contrary

      My mother is the Irish Catholic PA variety and my stepmother is the Jewish PA variety. I get it from both sides and I can not win.

      What did I do in a prior life to deserve this?

      Apr 4, 2008 at 11:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   YiddischeMama

    Hah! You Christians think you have the Passive-Aggressive Mom Market cornered?! As a Jewish woman who is, unfortunately, rapidly becoming a childless Jewish Mother, I have no trouble believing that Jesus got up and moved that rock, not because of anything to do with Our Celestial Father, but because he made some insane Passover promise to good ol’ terrestrial Mom.

    Apr 5, 2008 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   washwords

    ha ha ha ha ha. I’m linking to this on my momisms page.

    http://washwords.wordpress.com/momisms.

    Thanks! “but I understand”

    Apr 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Kate Chamberlain

    I work for social services and every day I see “mothers” signing their kids over to state custody like they’re signing a check. I see kids thrown out,neglected, abused and ignored. I see animals who treat their young better than these mothers. So, if your biggest problem is that your mom misses you and writes about it on a Easter card…..well, let’s just hope that will be your worst memory of her.

    Apr 6, 2008 at 9:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   me again

    wowzers. holy missing the point, batman. Now that I’m reading through this more carefully … is it me or are people lashing out at Jake for something I sure didn’t think was that evil, just a lighthearted “aw c’mon.” I don’t know if Jake loves his mom or she loves him or what. But I do know he submitted something he saw some subtext in, which uhh, i thought was the point of this site.

    He wasn’t entering his mom in worst mother of the year, people. he’s just sayin.

    Actually, i think a lot of these posts are P-A candidates themselves or just “i take myself really really seriously” contenders. If that’s on purpose, how very meta and clever of ye. If not, umm eek.

    Apr 7, 2008 at 8:01 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   sammy

    Awww. That’s such a cute card. Did you send your mom a card?

    Apr 7, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   belle

    My Southern Mom: If your boyfriend is moving to North Carolina for work, then that’s a perfectly good reason to come back home. Forever.
    Me: Yeaaah, I mean, I have my career and life and friends up here, so that’s tough, but I am leaning that way.
    SM: So. Is marriage in the picture?
    Me: Mmm. I mean, we’ve talked about it. Maybe like 2011.
    SM: 2011?! What does that even MEAN? I mean, 2011? How long have you been dating?
    Me: 2 1/2 years. Why? That’s not that long.
    SM: Well, I mean, where’s the commitment?
    Me: Mom, (brother) was dating his girlfriend for 5 years before he proposed.
    SM: Well, you’re a GIRL.
    Me: Sooo…we have different standards?
    SM: No, you’re a GIRL.
    Me: So….you have a different standard for us?
    (pause)
    SM: Well, maybe one day you can come and at least visit. I mean, I figured you called because you wanted to hear my opinion. Guess not. But maybe at least a visit…

    THAT is southern mom passive aggressive (or just aggressive) guilt. PS, she’s Catholic. I can’t imagine a more lethal combination.

    Apr 19, 2008 at 2:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
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