The fact that nightclubs have to post notes like this one:
(Thanks to Jeff in New York for passing along!)
related: going up?
Why I hate Miami, exhibit a
April 6th, 2008 · 74 comments
FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · bathroom · Florida · Miami · not so much passive-aggressive · vomit
74 responses so far ↓
#1
Canthz_B
Please confine vomiting to the dance floor. Restrooms are for washing up and changing clothes only!
Apr 6, 2008 at 9:27 pm rating: 12
#2
Beth
First no crapping in the showers, now no barfing in the urinals?? What is this world coming to!?!?!
Apr 6, 2008 at 9:27 pm rating: 9
#3
Wade
… it disturbs the cockroaches.
Apr 6, 2008 at 9:34 pm rating: 8
#4
Canthz_B
Any guy who can aim his puke that precisely deserves a replacement meal, not a PA note!
*Unless he has a Beetlejuice head.
Apr 6, 2008 at 9:37 pm rating: 7
#5
Sarah
You know you’ve had too many when you even tentatively consider putting your face anywhere near a nightclub urinal.
Apr 6, 2008 at 9:39 pm rating: 18
#6
fantasy
….eeerrrgggg! I cannot errg..comment…right erg now I will go now..uuurrhgg…sorry.
Apr 6, 2008 at 9:42 pm rating: 1
#7
RALPHY
I can understand this request. The chunkies and sliders clog the pink strainer/deordorizer. Take it to the toilet and try to puke you socks up!
Apr 6, 2008 at 10:57 pm rating: 1
#8
Crash
Okay, What if he’s so drunk that he pukes in the urinals, washes his hands in the toilet, then drains the lizard in the sink…
That’s an awesome scenario…too bad it’s only enough to produce one note though.
Apr 6, 2008 at 11:18 pm rating: 6
#9
Zorin
Uhmmm… two things
a) They’d rather you vomit on the floor, making a huge mess they have to clean up? and…
b) Is someone who is about to hurl really going to take the time to read a sign? No, he’s going to look for the best possible place to hurl without causing a lot of damage or hurling on someone, and that’s if he’s still sober enough to care!
Apr 6, 2008 at 11:19 pm rating: 2
#10
Jean-Luc Turbo
Their saying “please” makes me question their seriousness with the offense, though…
Apr 7, 2008 at 3:38 am rating: 1
#11
Andy
What I like is that the writer attempted to select a vomit-similar color for the font, instead of just black.
It’s details like this that separate the professionals from the amateurs.
Apr 7, 2008 at 4:31 am rating: 6
#12
claw71
Alternate lyrics to Moon over Miami:
Moon over Miami
Shine on my former chili cheese
let it show so I can blow
where everybody pees
Moon over Miami
illuminate the urinal stall
I feel queasy a little uneasy
I need hurl it all
Feel the cool suface of the gleaming porcelaine
see, the pink cake invites you in
bury it in meatloaf and green beans almondine
then go back out and start over again
Moon over Miami
I can again imbibe
A another shot, a bourbon kiss
I feel Miami alive.
Apr 7, 2008 at 7:31 am rating: 3
#13
GhostWriter
I can’t help it! The sight of my own weiner makes me physically ill.
Apr 7, 2008 at 8:17 am rating: 1
#14
mere
what’s with all of these ‘rules’?
i may as well just stay home then.
Apr 7, 2008 at 9:32 am rating: 0
#15
unholyghost2003
I am on team Silly note! In the men’s room this can only be for drunks (if it were the ladies I might think it was for the bulimics who could possibly be stone cold sober and puking) any drunk to has it together enough to read and consider the sign when choosing a place to puke is unlikely to puke in the urinals in the first place, except for that RARE puker who knows he is going to blow, COULD wait for a stall to open up, but chooses the urinal instead. I would think that scenario would make up less that 5% of urinal puke.
Apr 7, 2008 at 10:27 am rating: 0
#16
claw71
Team moot point…
Since 99.9% of the people who puke in urinals are too drunk to notice or too sick to notice the only thing this note will accomplish is to convince morons to do it as some sort of sick joke.
Apr 7, 2008 at 11:44 am rating: 0
#17
GhostWriter
Did you not notice my elongated tail feathers, my auburn plumage, my three-foot wingspan? I’m a Russet Hawk, for Pete’s sake!
Whenever I see something that even remotely resembles a wide-open white beak, I feel compelled to feed it by regurgitating. I don’t like it any more than you; yesterday I gave up an entire Bloomin’ Onion that way. It was supposed to be for my chicks!
Apr 7, 2008 at 12:40 pm rating: 1
#18
marcopuffin
More practical surely to provide a dedicated puke receptacle with a pithy sign reading “Puke here”?
Apr 7, 2008 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#19
claw71
I’m surprised that more night clubs don’t market urinal barf as their “Happy Hour Buffet”
Oooh! Look Sweetie, they have chicken noodle cobbler. MMMMM.
Apr 7, 2008 at 1:18 pm rating: 1
#20
claw71
Miami by Will Smith
Here I am in the place where the chunks do blow
Stalls all full but there’s a urinal
Stale empanadas at the bar, happy hour, no pay
bad beans, not OK get, out of my way
drinking all day, house drinks cheap swill
acid reflux in my esophagus spilled
Now I’m a little ill so I’ll fill
the first urinal I see, you bet I will
Can y’all hear me? steaming, heaving
wobbling and weaving
Every last libation, kung pao shrimp and some Ken-L-Ration
Mexican and a sandwich from the gas station
All coming right up, I’m just sayin
When I’ve got to puke I just ain’t playin
My stomach’s flipping, twisting and ragin
Miami’s got ways of makin you stay in.
Party all night like you’re really slick
Eat buffet food and you get sick
Hurlin’ in Miami
Vomito en Miami
Face down sweatin on the urinal cake
I should’ve known better than to eat that hake
Puking in Miami
Vomito en Miami
Apr 7, 2008 at 1:44 pm rating: 1
#21
Sundaeg1rl
Don’t piss in the pint pots and put them back on the bar either!
Apr 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm rating: 0
#22
web diversions
that’s just nasty. i’ll never think of miami the same.
Apr 7, 2008 at 2:25 pm rating: 0
#23
Writer, Rejected
It’s a reasonable request. Urinals get clogged up when the vom is chunky. And bar food is always chunky: nachos, tater skins, pretzels, etc. Now, if they started serving apple sauce and cream of cheddar soup, you’d have another story entirely.
Apr 7, 2008 at 4:58 pm rating: 0
#24
Heidi
Oh man!! I feel sick…must…make..it..to …thebathroom…..
wha cant throw BLAHGGHHGGGG…*wipes mouth* up in here. ooops!
Apr 7, 2008 at 5:06 pm rating: 0
#25
aykrmela
Noboby Nobody has dared to say it till now, so…
That vomit was f***ing delicious!!
Apr 8, 2008 at 11:46 am rating: 1
#26
Joe
One time at this rave this guy vomitted on my pants, then after I ran to the bathroom to wash it off he started vomiting in the sink causing it to clog and overflow as I scrambled to wash the last bit off before plunging my hand into that pukey bowl. Should I have left a note?
Apr 8, 2008 at 5:57 pm rating: 0
#27
fff.tocliextgilmilm
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Oct 18, 2008 at 1:03 pm rating: 0
#28 no, it’s not passive-aggressive
[...] related: why i hate miami, exhibit a [...]
Mar 28, 2009 at 1:39 am rating: 0
#29 free to be you and me
[...] related: why i hate miami, exhibit a [...]
Apr 12, 2009 at 1:50 pm rating: 0
#30
seetumail
I don’t agree with tthe views. i just love MIami.but it’s about personal opinion. i just believe it’s heaven to all
Eliza
Fort Lauderdale homes for sale
May 26, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: 0
#31
victor perard
Am I the only person who found that the slang verb “york” is sometimes used to describe vomitus? So New York had an entirely different connotation to me when I read from whence this sign came?
Jun 25, 2009 at 5:08 am rating: 0
#32 The sausage fest of horrors | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: Why I hate Miami [...]
Feb 22, 2010 at 5:20 pm rating: 0
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