just trying to “keep austin weird”

April 8th, 2008 · 130 comments

sure, those luxury condos going up all over downtown austin might look pretty, but if you’re like, “dude, enough of this corporate bullshit!” our anonymous austin submitter says her building offers plenty of exciting local color you won’t find in those glass-and-steel towers. perks include: 1) the building’s property manager, a character known for his impassioned screeds about everything from trash cans to expired vehicle registrations, and 2) a recurring sewage back-up that flows into the downstairs bathrooms of all the units. rock ‘n’ roll, man!

“the roto-rooter has said repeatedly that the backup is caused by roots growing into the sewer system,” our submitter says, but that explanation didn’t seem to satisfy her tireless PM. now he’s offering tenants flexible lease arrangements, too!

just tryin' to keep austin weird 

related: the chav’s guide to sxsw;
tourists: doing their part to keep austin…retarded [fannypackantics.com]

Tags: CAPS LOCK · all clogged up · austin · landlord · toilet

130 responses so far ↓

  • #1  Canthz_B

    Illegal tampons?
    Now that is a strict community!

    Apr 8, 2008 at 1:46 pm   rating: +6  

    • #1.1  KittyKat

      Probably some of those natural Indian-hair tampons!

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #2  Mishee

    I find that flushing illegal objects down the toilet is the best way to be rid them when the cops are busting down the door!

    Well worth the $150!!

    Apr 8, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: +6  

    • #2.1  Centaurea

      Who knew that baby wipes, tampons, and paper towels were illegal! It’s like Soviet Russia, without the communism.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:12 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #2.2  Canthz_B

      Wha?? :???:

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #3  unholyghost2003

    I find that lawsuits regarding harassment and unsanitary living conditions are the best way to afford that new neighborhood.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 1:57 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #4  Nathaniel

    Somehow I think the Austin tenant’s Council might have something to say about him trying to charge residents extra for normal maintenance expenses.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #5  Canthz_B

    Is “…find a way to cancel your lease…” the same as “…make you an offer you can’t refuse.”?

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: +2  

    • #5.1  Suhayla

      Yes.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #6  amazon

    At my previous building, we used to get notices that whenever they were cleaning the pipes, people on the first floor should stuff rags in their drains to prevent back flow.

    Team live on the top floor!

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:02 pm   rating: +3  

    • #6.1  amazon

      p.s. I love Google ads! My ad at the bottom is for “Hydroman Rooter.” Maybe PM should call them…

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:04 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #6.2  Mishee

      My google ad is for a “San Mateo Plumber” - how in the heck does google know where I am near?? I didn’t tell them! (on this thread at least!)

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #6.3  amy d

      I have an ad for “Emergency Rent Money” and “Plumbing austin”. Plumbing austin sounds like a Porn movie.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:24 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #6.4  Mike

      The geeky reason is reverse DNS lookup. Your ISP has location information in the domain name.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:35 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #6.5  RunBarbara

      I have Hydroman Rooter, which sounds like a very strict enema. Or a plumber.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #6.6  marcopuffin

      Mine says: “Drainage problems? High Pressure Water Jetting, CCTV… and much more” Is the CCTV to pin down the illegal flusher? Should the PM call them in?

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:57 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #6.7  marcopuffin

      PS Mike, don’t kill the magic…

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:01 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #6.8  Quite Contrary

      My ad is Landlord 101! What??? We’re supposed to be like this guy??

      Apr 8, 2008 at 5:11 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #7  GhostWriter

    Blame it on the baby wipes and tampons. Single mothers have had it too good for too long.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #8  Suhayla

    Tampons and baby wipes are clogging the drains? Perhaps the tenants will have to start doing like they do in other countries (with poor plumbing) and put ALL waste in the garbage, including their used TP. Maybe they should start shitting in the garbage too.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:19 pm   rating: 0  

    • #8.1  Canthz_B

      You’re kidding, right?!

      PLEASE…tell me you’re kidding!! Used TP?? 8-O

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.2  RunBarbara

      I already do that (for fun). Im keeping my pipes healthy incase I ever need to flush anything away from the prying eyes of The Law.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.3  tragically mep

      You should get out more! You haven’t lived until you have visited a public washroom with full wastebaskets of used TP.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:40 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.4  secondsout

      Yes, CB, believe it or not. Visit a 3rd world country where the plumbing is not so good, and they’ll ask you to throw the used TP in the trash can, not down the toilet. You might think it’s gross, but it’s not near as gross as the toilet overflowing and flooding your house.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.5  marcopuffin

      In some countries, you have to put the used toilet paper in a specially placed basket by the side of the toilet

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:05 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.6  Wade

      Ah, used TP in the wastebasket. That brings back memories of my time in Central America.

      And you thought vomit in the urinal was unpleasant.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:06 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.7  marcopuffin

      secondsout, you don’t have to go as far as a third world country for this experience, apparently!

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:10 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.8  KittyKat

      We have a guy at work whose septic system is a pipe that drains out in the woods - totally not kidding.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.9  secondsout

      My brother, who’s finishing up his Ph.D. in demographic studies, tells me that statistically, there are more homes in the US with TV sets, than homes with running water. Priorities…

      Apr 8, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.10  RunBarbara

      Maybe there are international p/a notes about throwing the wrong things in the TP bins…one can only hope. *squeal*

      Apr 8, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.11  Canthz_B

      I popped in to Nogales (Mexico) once. Now I know what that odor was.
      Well, thanks guys and gals. Ya learn something new here every day! :-D
      This also explains why the terrorists hate us…our plumbing!

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.12  park rose

      However, CB, in the Middle East and great parts of the rest of Asia, water is the preferred way of cleaning - so, it might not be the plumbing, because there is no smelly, dirty toilet paper to be gotten rid of. :) :D

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:38 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.13  Canthz_B

      Afghanistan doesn’t look like the bidet capital of the world to me! LOL

      But I get your meaning, rose. ;-)

      Apr 8, 2008 at 8:12 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.14  Troy McClure

      Maybe Afghanistan isn’t one of the great parts of Asia. :smile:

      Apr 8, 2008 at 9:45 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #8.15  park rose

      You and your semantics, Mr. McClure. Good to see you resurfacing. That’s kind of keeping within the theme of this thread… ;)

      Apr 9, 2008 at 12:02 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.16  unholyghost2003

      secondsout,

      Honest question for you/your brother. In the whole running water/TV ratio thing, is that counting vacation homes? I only ask because most Buck Camp Cabins I can think of would have a battery powered TV, but only pit toilets.

      Apr 9, 2008 at 10:11 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #9  amy d

    The PM is the king of awkwardly worded sentences.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #10  claw71

    I grew up with crap like this. My parents would mete out mass punishments if they couldn’t identify the culprit. The difference is that this is the real world and a lease is a legal contract that makes it impossible to enforce the provisions included in this letter.

    The use of bold face, caps and multiple exclamation marks is a dead give away that this note has no legal value. You could flush automotive parts down the toilet and this clown couldn’t do a thing about it.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:29 pm   rating: +2  

    • #10.1  marcopuffin

      If they flushed the note would it finish off the plumbing entirely? A fitting end for both.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #11  secondsout

    I like the bit about how one can’t help oneself but to flush illegal objects.

    It’s my disability. I suffer from chronic compulsive-baby-wipe-flushing-syndrome. I hoped the landlord would make a reasonable accommodation for my disability, but no. I’m filing a lawsuit.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: +2  

    • #11.1  Canthz_B

      The worst part is suffering that affliction and having no children. The shame which accompanies each wipe purchase must be unbearable!

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #11.2  Sue Do Nim

      So, if I can’t help myself in flushing illegal objects, will the PM help me flush them? Jeeze, I can’t do everything myself.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:26 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #11.3  Bellabeastie

      Sure he will, but it’s gonna cost you $150.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 5:16 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #12  RunBarbara

    What? No one is going to remark at how fucking delicious those illegal tampons were?

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:36 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #13  honeyedhemlock

    Prove those tampons belonged to me, ya bastich.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #14  Mishee

    At least he doesn’t have issues with tenants regurgitating to no extent all over the place!

    Apr 8, 2008 at 2:52 pm   rating: +1  

    • #14.1  RunBarbara

      “regurgitating to no extent” made me spit tea out of my nose. i mean, really, how much CAN one regurgitate? are they a bottomless pit of spoiled food just erupting like a digestive Vesuvius?

      Apr 8, 2008 at 4:48 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #14.2  Mark

      ‘Tis but a wafer theen meent!

      Apr 8, 2008 at 6:20 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #14.3  RunBarbara

      Better get a bucket.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #15  GhostWriter

    Hold up- it that Satan’s signature? I’ve heard he uses batwings instead of a heart at the end.

    ‘least that’s how he did it on my contract.

    Apr 8, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 0  

    • #15.1  Suhayla

      Mine’s signed “sucka”.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:26 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #16  Wade

    While not flushing the proscribed items will help, if they have roots in the pipes it will continue to overflow, not matter what.

    Team Spend A Few Bucks For Maintenance And Replace The Pipe, Scrooge

    Apr 8, 2008 at 3:11 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #17  Heidi

    Big brother can track your toliets!! He knows whos flushing the illegal tampons!

    Apr 8, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #18  aaa

    Illegal objects? Like condoms of coke?

    Apr 8, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #19  KittyKat

    Just exactly where can you NOT flush tampons down the toilet? Perhaps not the applicators, but tampons??? I’ve been to China and India and flushed tampons, but I can’t flush tampons in freaking Texas? I’ll open the floodgates . . . . When did Texas become a psuedonym for Hell?

    Apr 8, 2008 at 4:50 pm   rating: 0  

    • #19.1  Sue Do Nim

      When fire ants arrived, Texas officially became a pseudonym for Hell.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 5:20 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #19.2  secondsout

      Have you ever been in Texas in August?
      Have you ever talked to Texans about how awesome they think Texas is?
      Don’t forget, they’re responsible for GW Bush.
      Yes, my friends, Texas is something approaching Hell.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:58 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #19.3  bellabeastie

      Hence the satanic scribbled signature of the control freak psycho PM.

      Must be a native.

      Apr 9, 2008 at 8:59 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #20  Garcy

    Actually, um, flushing tampons down the toilet is a very bad idea many places. It’s one of the most common reasons for toilet backup and major plumbing problems.

    More common when you’re on a septic system, but nonetheless, how can other women not know about this? I knew this when I was 12 and had no plumber in the family, just a mom who had brains.

    Since then the amount of dorms, apartments, and houses I’ve stayed in where clueless women have flushed their tampons down the system and “broken” the plumbing can be counted on more than one hand.

    Ladies, this is your chance to become educated. Do as women who use sanitary napkins do and learn to frickin’ wrap your tampon in some toilet tissue or Kleenex and gently place in the trash. I assure you that if you do this it’s not yucky, it’s actually doing a public service - others will be able to enjoy the benefits of plumbing that works.

    Garcy

    Apr 8, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: +3  

    • #20.1  Suhayla

      I take shits bigger than tampons. please.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #20.2  park rose

      Tampons expand and asborb. Shit doesn’t. Shit should break down. Tampons don’t.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:27 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #20.3  jlhmm

      yes, but tampons do not break apart/decompose in the water like your poops do.

      lovely thread.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #20.4  park rose

      That’s the thing on the end of the tampon, right? ;)

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:34 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #20.5  mamason

      “Tampons expand and asborb. Shit doesn’t.”

      Depends on how much fibre you eat! ;-)

      Apr 8, 2008 at 7:35 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #20.6  park rose

      Once it’s in the bowl, Mama, once it’s in the bowl. :)
      Though, if I put my imagination to work…

      Apr 8, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #20.7  Cristina

      I completely agree with you Garcy. However I had to learn the hard way. As a 13 year-old and still not aware pipe-destructive abilities of tampons, I backed up the toilet. My parents thought it would be a good lesson to let me clean it out. The bin is a much, much better option.

      As for the rest of you, haven’t you ever heard of sanitary bins? Those special recepticals with a pop-open shute that leads down to the bin filled with chemicals that stop the odour and blood-borne diseases. With new ones all you have to do is wave your hand over the motion sensor for the shute to open up, so you don’t even have to touch anything! The only places I don’t see these bins are in homes. I’m surprised that in such a developed country, you’re telling me that you still only have a choice between the bowl or an open waste-paper basket?

      Apr 9, 2008 at 4:04 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #20.8  aaa

      For a developed country, the US is way behind on a lot of things.

      Apr 9, 2008 at 7:07 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #20.9  summer

      Cesspools, ceptic systems, like most other systems in society are designed to trap women, oppress them , and blame them. Geez, don’t you people know anything! Garcy, you have internalized this!! I bet you don’t wear clothes that show too much skin either, and you only walk with a man if you go out in public!

      Apr 9, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #20.10  park rose

      Are you joking, summer? Because I don’t flush my tampons down the toilet, all of a sudden I’m wearing a burka??? :? 8O

      Apr 9, 2008 at 11:09 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #20.11  PixelPerfect

      I only go out in public with my man if I can walk at least 10 steps behind him…

      No way do I want anyone thinking I’m his equal!

      Apr 9, 2008 at 11:27 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #20.12  Canthz_B

      summer, forgive my male ignorance, but aren’t tampons supposed to be “internalized”?

      Just my little contribution to “The Tampon Monologues:-P

      Apr 9, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #20.13  amy d

      Nice one, CB.

      I believe the Monologues were tranformed into a dialogue a ways back. ;)

      Apr 9, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #20.14  Summer

      Speaking of Burka’s, what do you think those women use that time of the month,and can they FLUSH IT?!?!?!

      Apr 9, 2008 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #21  bah