“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”
God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall of fame. (Prize: a year’s worth of anger-management therapy?)
related: Which one of these is not like the other?
154 responses so far ↓
#1
Dave
OMG…thank you for adding me on twitter. Really digging the Site ya’ll.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: 90
#2
Agargara
The irony runs deep in this one. An instant classic.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: 90
#3
secondsout
The little gay mafia is planning a hit, apparently.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:12 pm rating: 90
#4
Orange Tyrant
“I . . . don’t play childish games . . . the next step in this game . . . ” wait a minute, I thought there were no games being played, hrm?! I hope that Emily secretly wrote that as big bad friend of herself. Awesome. and why is it three hole punched? So she can save her death threats in a convenient binder for court?
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:12 pm rating: 91
#5
Mishee
whoa, she went STRAIGHT for the “C” word!
Usually only girls who use that word are actually describing themselves!
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:12 pm rating: 90
#6
secondsout
I am not a child. But the little hearts and the smiley face might tell you otherwise.
Really, how seriously can you take a threat like this, when it has rainbow hearts, and rainbow-colored text?
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:16 pm rating: 90
#7
aaa
So she doesn’t want to get people involved that don’t need to be in it, yet she’s involving herself in tracking down an item that doesn’t even belong to her?
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:17 pm rating: 90
#8
Sofia
Seriously… how much could a white board in a dorm room possibly cost? Is it really worth calling someone a cunt over?
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:18 pm rating: 90
#9
amy d
And I’m not gonna be passive-aggressive about it …
Really?
Rainbow hearts, threatening paragraphs printed in alternating colors, vague threats, bringing skeltons out of the closet, calling the subject of the letter a cunt and then signing off as a secret admirer.
If that’s not p/a, nothing is or ever will be.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: 90
#10
Katy
What can I say, this is a masterpiece. The all caps, the rainbow print, the excessive use of ellipses and exclamation points, the smiley face at the end, the random indentation of “AND THAT ANGERS ME!!!” and “IMMEDIATELY,” and of course, the c-word at the end. I think I might weep.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: 90
#11
Canthz_B
…And I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and…
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:22 pm rating: 90
#12
Carrie
AHHH!! I KNEW my college roommate would take 10 years to graduate… glad to see she’s still torturing people!!!
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:22 pm rating: 90
#13
aaa
P.S.
I’ll bet $10 that we’re gonna see the roommate either on one of those high-speed chase shows on Spike, on Court TV (er, truTV now), or on that Snapped show on Oxygen.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:23 pm rating: 90
#14
agatha christie
If stealing a white dry-erase board is considered an “ignorant act”, I wonder what the writer considers the Holocaust, the Armenian Genocide, and Darfur to be…
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: 90
#15
damon
In Soviet Russia, dry erase board takes YOU!
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:27 pm rating: 90
#16
douchegirl
I love the intro “YOU DON’T KNOW ME… AND I DONT THINK YOU WANT TO…”
It really sets the tone for the rest of the letter. Why are there so many ellipses? I don’t get it. There could be commas, colons, semi colons, periods…
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:29 pm rating: 90
#17
Canthz_B
You don’t know me, but I feel I have the right to judge you a thief, tell you what to do and threaten to spread details of your personal life (which I only have on hearsay) around.
Ever notice that when someone feels the need to stress what they are not that something is usually just what they are?
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:30 pm rating: 90
#18
Wade
Wait… the submitter says that her roommate thinks she took the dry erase board, and left this note.
The note accuses the submitter of taking Emily’s dry erase board, that was given as a gift by the “you don’t know me” notewriter.
So, if Emily is the roommate, then either she is out-sourcing her passive-aggression… or is Sybil.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:32 pm rating: 90
#19
aflirtycatastrophe
Someone must have been deprived of a white board as a child and now is clinging to this one, blaming whomever is in her reach. Poor roomie.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 90
#20
Canthz_B
Technicolor should be sited as an aggravating factor in the upcoming libel suit!
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:37 pm rating: 90
#21
Crash
I’m hoping that dry erase board was framed in 24 karat gold and had a secret stash door on the back where all her F’ing secret med’s were stashed…
I mean that’s less crazy than this note.
Anyway…
I’d actually take it as a compliment, you know, if one could be 40 miles away and still manage to steal the dry erase board she must have some kind of super human abilities…which in that case I’d say, BRING IT ON BITCH !!!
And that’s still less crazy of an idea than this note.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:46 pm rating: 90
#22
Lindsey
Um, this person sounds a little stalker-ish to me! “You don’t know me…you don’t want to know me…” -but apparently, the letter-writer knows all about the perpetrator, and the “skeeze ball boyfriend.” S/he’s probably jealous of said skeeze ball.
And what is skeeze anyways? Is it a physical form of sleaze, kind of like waxy buildup in your ears?
I imagine that, when you are sleazy, you start producing skeeze, which can then be formed into a ball once you have enough.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
#23
jenna
that whiteboard was fucking delicious.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 90
#24
EvilTwin
I’d buy a new dry erase board, walk straight up to her with her little note, hand the note to her, tell her I didn’t steal her shitty dry erase board, break the brand new board over my knee in front of her, hand it to her, and walk away. What a stupid petty thing to argue over…must be college.
Apr 10, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 90
#25
secondsout
“you don’t know me… And to be honest, I don’t think you want to.”
You’re damn right! Anyone who writes notes this stupid is not worth me knowing.
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:19 pm rating: 90
#26
Quite Contrary
Only college girls could use the c-word, “thanks” AND a smiley within eight words of each other.
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
#27
Andy
Wow. This is a hall-of-famer.
OK, first off, how can you NOT be passive-agressive when you are signing a note with a smiley and “Your Secret Admirer”?
I like how they centered “And that angers me!!!”
I’m glad she mentioned that, as that end statement calling out the alleged offender as a cunt might’ve been taken out of context.
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:23 pm rating: 90
#28
fantasy
Of course to be a p/a note they always have hearts and smilies!
This one is really “special” with the rainbow theme.
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:34 pm rating: 90
#29
mamason
Where’s a pink penis when you need one?
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:39 pm rating: 90
#30
Bellabeastie
Don’t forget about the “penalties and fines associated with your ignorant acts”.
Like what? Stay in from recess and no allowance for a week? Write “I will not steal Emily’s whiteboard” 100 times?
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:45 pm rating: 90
#31
TuesdayPillow
If I got a note like this, I would laugh and get someone big and scary to write a similar note, except they would write it in blood and describe some very sick and painful things they will do to anyone that threatens me. They would also include pictures a la the movie “Seven” and I would deliver it personally.
When you take things way too far and get graphic and creative, people tend to back off.
And that angers me!!!
is another one of those great non-sentences.
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:45 pm rating: 90
#32
mamason
It’s obvious that Rebecca Gayheart authored this gem.
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:45 pm rating: 90
#33
Suhayla
Wow, I thought that those hearts were actually part of the note, but they were photoshopped in (or something) to cover submitter’s name. It’s a short name, looks like it starts with “A”. It is kind of funny though that the hearts match the colour scheme of the note.
Apr 10, 2008 at 5:55 pm rating: 90
#34
Suhayla
This is Emily’s girlfriend, right?
That’s why she’s getting so protective about her whiteboard?
It must be a token of Secret Admirer’s support for young Emily’s scholastic aspirations. Perhaps she sees this gift as an investment in an education that will create a bright future for the two of them, but their dreams were ruined by some inconsiderate cunt who stole said whiteboard. No wonder she’s so pissed.
Apr 10, 2008 at 6:05 pm rating: 90
#35
claw71
I can’t resit the Doobie Brothers on this one…Taking it to the Streets:
You don’t know me, don’t think you wanna
I just might have to start raising hell
We don’t play childish games in my world
But there’s something that I need to tell
YOU, taking the white board I bought for Emily
It’s not your shit and that really sort of angers me
Housing Authorities (yeah, the authorities)
Housing Authorities (gonna call and rat you out)
Housing Authorities (making it tough for you)
Housing Authorities (yeah, yeah, that’s how I play)
Read this message I printed in color
Rainbow hearts make it clear I really care
I used all caps and exclamations
So you know that you should best beware
YOU, need to know I stand up for Emily
You’re a cunt with boyfriend who lives rent free
Housing Authorities (yeah, the authorities)
Housing Authorities (gonna call and rat you out)
Housing Authorities (making it tough for you)
Housing Authorities (yeah, yeah, that’s how I play)
Apr 10, 2008 at 6:20 pm rating: 90
#36
Lurker
Third-person passive-aggressive behavior? Impressive! That Emily’s so PA she was admitted to statehood in 1802.
Note receivee should put her skeeze ball boyfriend to good use and sic him on the writer.
Apr 10, 2008 at 7:18 pm rating: 90
#37
summer
“You don’t know me”…uh you gave away your identity as Emily’s butch dyke girlfriend with that crazy rainbow note.
Apr 10, 2008 at 8:01 pm rating: 90
#38
snookpie
In the beginning of the year my roommate kept leaving me a bunch of passive aggressive notes on my other roommate’s white board. She also accused me of hanging up on her friends and unplugging the phone whenever they’d call the room phone. Apparently I did this while I was still sleeping, yet managed to crawl from the top bunk and hobble over to the phone on my highly infected foot (I couldn’t even touch it without it hurting… I had been in the hospital the same week), all under 10 seconds. I am amazing.
When I told her she was accusing me, she shouted at me “I’m not accusing you! But if you have a problem with the phone then I wish you’d tell me! My mother calls me on that phone! Blahblaghdsg”, while simultaneously having her friend, who I hadn’t even met before that, telling me it must have been me, since the other roommate knew the friend’s voice. Kay, so much for logic.
Apr 10, 2008 at 8:01 pm rating: 90
#39
Izzy
Long time lurker, never posted.
I just had to say this is the best. note. ever.
Apr 10, 2008 at 8:46 pm rating: 90
#40
steve
“You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!”
Apr 10, 2008 at 8:51 pm rating: 90
#41
Colleen
Sheesh. If that’s the note that got the rainbow and hearts, I’d hate to see what the note with the skulls and blood says. Reading that makes me very happy I lived at home during my college years.
Apr 10, 2008 at 9:07 pm rating: 90
#42
The White Board Bandit
Hey hey. I’m the person who submitted the gem above. Thanks for all the positive comments!
For clarification: Emily lives in my dorm, this was typed up and slid under my door in the middle of the night by one of her friends. Supposedly.
I highly intend on taking the suggestion of printing this all out and handing it to her (once I move out in 2 weeks).
Might I add: she’s the particular kind of desperate person that goes to “Makeout Parties”, and walks around in her bra around my “skeezeball boyfriend” to try and get him to check her out. Sadly, her boobies are like teeny mosquito bites and she has a mustache.
Seriously. I want to be like “Get some Sally Hansen Facial Bleach for yourself, girl.”
Thanks everyone. (Especially the song. I’m dying here!)
Apr 10, 2008 at 9:28 pm rating: 90
#43
Canthz_B
Dear Angry Rainbow Brite,
I hope I’m not being childish if I point out that getting other people involved to solve your problems can hardly be considered taking matters into your own hands.
Apr 10, 2008 at 10:06 pm rating: 90
#44
morpho aurora
someone is wasting a lot of money sending emily and her note-writing friend to college.
the two of them should drop out and go back to tag-team pole dancing at the local suck’n'spit.
this is almost as good as anthony’s song.
Apr 10, 2008 at 10:26 pm rating: 90
#45
ms. m.m.
I may have said it before, but here goes anyway: The bat-shit writers of these notes convince me that some of the minor disputes I’ve had with people (neighbors, roommates) over the years have been relatively normal by comparison. In other words, I’m not as crazy as I once perceived myself and people of my acquaintance to be. So, yay!
G’damn, I’ve probably jinxed myself now.
Apr 10, 2008 at 10:53 pm rating: 90
#46
Uri
OMG!!! The best note this year so far.
Apr 10, 2008 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
#47
hoopla
According to the writer, screaming in Lucky Charms colours and not signing your name to an all-caps note is neither PA nor childish.
This snatch should give lessons!
Question for the crowd: would The White Board Bandit’s strategy of dropping these comments off after she moves out be considered PA? What I want to see is a video of her reading this wisdom out loud to the chick’s face. But that’s just me. Work it. OWN it!
Apr 11, 2008 at 12:17 am rating: 90
#48
The White Board Bandit
I hope that waiting isn’t passive aggressive of me, I just kind of want to choose the path of least resistance. I prefer to live in peace, without having to listen to this bitch constantly, and to do that, I’m willing to wait until I’m leaving to strike.
Also, forgot to add, I confronted her about this, and she claimed she had no idea what it was about, but got her to say that she wouldn’t write any more notes and suck it up and deal with it.
But a video….maybe I can get my skeeze-ball b/f to tape it for me!!
Apr 11, 2008 at 1:37 am rating: 90
#49
Michelle B
A lifetime nonsmoker, I lit up a cigarette after reading this masterpiece (thought first it was a parody of PA). Reading this note was that fulfilling.
Apr 11, 2008 at 3:37 am rating: 90
#50
geoff
Nobody justifies anymore. I felt my moods shift as the rainbow text flipped about – alarmed, then passive, then calmed, and finally, purpled.
Apr 11, 2008 at 6:45 am rating: 90
#51
Sybil
How many of the author’s personalities did it take to write this note?
Apr 11, 2008 at 8:12 am rating: 90
#52
Jaybird
AAAAAAAHHHH! SHOUTING RAINBOWS!
Apr 11, 2008 at 8:47 am rating: 90
#53
c-lo
I figured you would be really angry, but then go aww multi colored hearts and rainbow text.
Apr 11, 2008 at 8:54 am rating: 90
#54
GhostWriter
Am I truly the first one to deduce:
(1) The White Board Bandit actually did steal Emily’s whiteboard. The “40 miles away” alibi doesn’t cover the time she stole it; i.e., the night before. Fake alibis are easy to spot- they are given when no one is asking for them.
(2) The P/A notewriter is Emily’s dad. He gave Emily the whiteboard, and has a creepy obsession with the White Board Bandit. This one is so obvious; labeling her boyfriend with a 50′s term like “skeeze ball” out of jealousy, ending his emotional note with “your secret admirer”.
Our Bandit should be extremely wary at this point. Her skin is this close to ending up as a lampshade. Even if you’ve already chucked the stolen whiteboard, now is the time to fix this problem, before you find yourself trapped at the bottom of a dry well, with Emily’s Dad lowering lotions down to you to soften up your skin.
Apr 11, 2008 at 8:57 am rating: 90
#55
RP
Feel the rainbow.
Taste the rainbow.
Apparently the note writer thinks “rainbow” is code for LSD because this is clearly the result of taking hallucinogens.
Apr 11, 2008 at 9:16 am rating: 90
#56
mia
OMG… I don’t think I have ever seen a P/A/N with so many comments. Well I think the submitter is going to take the taker on a little road trip, let’s just call it a “blanket party”.
Apr 11, 2008 at 9:51 am rating: 90
#57
tracy
Definite HOF inductee, 1st ballot. Every other PA note is a pretender next to this… fabulous.
Just wow.
Apr 11, 2008 at 10:04 am rating: 90
#58
Roger
Hahaha and she says she is not being passive aggressive. LOL. Denial, the first step to pass-agg.
Apr 11, 2008 at 10:12 am rating: 90
#59
KittyKat
If she’s just in college, can you imagine what the writer will be like when she’s faced with the world of lunch-stealing, lipstick-stain-leaving, desk-pilfering co-workers? The P/A note possibilities are mouth-wateringly delicious.
Apr 11, 2008 at 10:14 am rating: 90
#60
Gez
Those pastel hues are fucking delicious.
It’s been a while now; time for a FD rebirth.
Apr 11, 2008 at 10:35 am rating: 90
#61
unholyghost2003
I have an honest question. Is it even possible to STEAL something that cannot be consumed from someone you are currently sharing living space with? The WHITE BOARD is still THERE (even if the submitter took it) at WORST it has been MOVED not stolen.
Apr 11, 2008 at 11:51 am rating: 90
#62
Samantha
Has anyone who actually WROTE one of these notes that ended up on this site came and commented?
That would be precious.
Apr 11, 2008 at 12:09 pm rating: 90
#63
Canthz_B
I blame it on a late-night Skittles buzz.
Apr 11, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: 90
#64
Sundaeg1rl
Well done on the restrained use of the C-word. You nearly made it all the way to the end without having to use it, but OH NO, it slipped out there in the last line.
No childish games, eh? What a cunt.
Apr 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm rating: 90
#65
Agent Inspired
I didn’t think anything would top the note with the little skulls and crossbones that looked like Xs and Os.
Oh, but how life always out-performs all my expectations. This is truly an achievement. Well done, obsessive rainbow stalker– well done. I am now taking care to be very sparing with my use of ellipses!
Apr 11, 2008 at 6:33 pm rating: 90
#66
raiseyourglass
Here’s an idea,buy one at the dollar store and write on it in perm. marker.
To my Secret Admirer…
You are a freak’n psycho.
I did not take your shit. Check your ass.
Hugs and kisses you freak!
Apr 11, 2008 at 10:15 pm rating: 90
#67
p.g. wodehouse
I don’t think they are being passive aggressive.
Apr 13, 2008 at 9:06 pm rating: 90
#68
jeremy
So torn between love and hate, must… punch… something… KIDNEY! (ouch) I will cry blood out of my bladder now.
Apr 14, 2008 at 9:21 am rating: 90
#69
machead
I love that this entry was tagged “crazypants”.
Apr 14, 2008 at 7:04 pm rating: 90
#70
Amber Love
Whoa, if I got a note like that I would probably cry. And then go take a dump on those bitches’ pillows.
Jun 17, 2008 at 6:45 pm rating: 90
#71
too late but anyway
why why why she is not chosen as a queen of PAN?Why why? I am crying my eyes out here. She is not being PA at all, She is not childish and she does not wan to play games either! All she does is name calling, vague threats, leaves colorful and smiley/heart filled good cop bad cop notes to strangers and contradicts herself. You call that PA behavior? pffffft! shame on you
Mar 17, 2009 at 3:33 pm rating: 90
#72
Robert
Strawberry Shortcake IS PISSED! I believe the “someone” who will get involved are the Care Bears!
Jul 27, 2009 at 9:16 pm rating: 90
#73 And your mosaic sucks | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
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May 19, 2010 at 9:46 pm rating: 90
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