And please don’t step on any cracks, either

April 16th, 2008 · 126 comments

After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.

The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”


“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.

related: Cleaning party!

FILED UNDER: food · Moms & Dads · New York · pleasantries as afterthought

126 responses so far ↓

  • #1   scone

    Even though Plavix isn’t for allergies, the medical post it note added a nice touch. It nicely underlined the “are you trying to kill me?” vibe.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 5:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   KittyKat

    I don’t know, I think if I was deathly allergic to something, I’d be a bit more hostile than just saying “Please Do Not Eat.”

    Team Moms don’t get no respect!

    Apr 16, 2008 at 5:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   secondsout bang

    Please do not eat in the house. We have left a bowl of your kibble, plus a bowl of water out on the back porch.

    And stop crapping in the house, too!

    Apr 16, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   KittyKat

      Yeah, use the trash can at the post office like everyone else! Or the urinals! Or the showers at the gym!

      Apr 16, 2008 at 5:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   secondsout bang

      Perhaps we should start a poll. Toilets aside, the ideal place to poop would be:

      A. Thrift store fitting room
      B. Post Office trash can
      C. Gym shower
      D. Somewhere else totally inappropriate?

      Apr 16, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Lorrie

      You’d have to talk to Anytime Stan.

      Apr 16, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   anglophile bang

      E. Large potted plant in hotel lobby?

      Apr 16, 2008 at 7:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   Bellabeastie

      Part of me wants to ask……

      Nah, better not go there……..

      Apr 16, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.6   Bellabeastie

      Alright, alright. Who, may I ask, is Anytime Stan?

      Apr 16, 2008 at 7:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.7   Wade bang

      An all time PAN favorite, LOL.

      Anytime Stan

      Apr 16, 2008 at 8:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.8   Bellabeastie

      LOLOLOL…. Thanks, Wade. :)

      Apr 16, 2008 at 8:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.9   VegasBarbie

      F. Dormitory elevator….

      That was a favorite when I was in college too many years ago to count….

      EEK! I’m old!!!!!

      Apr 16, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   KittyKat

    Also, those death-causing peanuts were effin delicious!

    Apr 16, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Lorrie

    Notice both the “please” and “thanks” are in lowercase – total afterthoughts. This means, mom was really irritated when she first wrote the note, and then thought about it and added to it later. This is a twice p/a note! Ah… mom.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 6:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   marcopuffin bang

    not the gentlest of home comings but can understand her terror of instant death. Perhaps she should have gone for something more P and less A like: “I want to keep living long enough to see your 50,000 photos of the outback, honey!”

    Apr 16, 2008 at 6:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   summer

    Or, maybe mom should stop eating things she finds on the floor, stray peanuts could be anywhere at anytime, I call this high-risk behavior.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 6:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Bellabeastie

    The effin peanuts aren’t even effin OPEN !

    Where does Mom suggest she eat? In the effin garage? The Australian outback must seem pretty welcoming compared to this.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 6:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   RunBarbara

      I won’t let my husband eat pho in the house, the smell makes me effin upchuck. I make him eat it in his car because I am a heartless, demanding shrew with a sensitive nose.

      Apr 16, 2008 at 10:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   bitch please

      Are you freakin’ kidding me? Have you ever met someone allergic to peanuts? They will kill me, even the smell of them. So although they may not be open, they potentially could have been at some point and consumed within a house that is peanut free. That’s not cool. The note was merely a reminder had the hot Aussie sun fried a few of Robin’s brain cells.

      So get off your bloody high horse for a moment and realise that not everyone is as perfect as you.

      And for your information, you may have not noticed this already with your head being jammed so far up your arse, I’m Australian. Note the above non-bastardised spelling of “realise”. But yes, not all of Australia is “the outback”.

      Apr 21, 2008 at 8:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   HyperJen


    crazy mom logic ftw!

    Apr 16, 2008 at 6:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Ben

    I wonder if mom even approached the death causing peanut jar or employed the surly step dad to tape the note to the lid – after-which he had to undergo a vigorous decontamination process.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 6:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   kalieris

    This is pretty much the strategy I suspect I will employ with my son, should he prove unwilling to leave home in a timely fashion. He’s already hinted he wants me within driving distance of college so he can easily drop off laundry (although he is 80% joking, it’s that 20% total seriousness that scares me). My other PA tactics will include not having anywhere for him to sleep, and not owning a television. I’ll be lucky to get occasional phonecalls at this rate. Mwahahaha….

    Apr 16, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   KittyKat

      Oooo, I’ve got to remember the no-television thing. I figure my son will be with us ’til he’s at least 35.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   mamason bang

      I’ve had the “pleasure” of both of my grown children moving back in. My daughter brought along a husband and a baby.
      I thought I had perfected the art of passive/aggressively making my home the least desireable option, but this mom has taken it to a whole new level! *wipes a tear*
      God bless her!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 12:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   claw71 bang

      He’s not 80% joking. Not only will he bring his laundry over for you to do, he’ll sneak other people’s clothes in there too. He’ll trade your laundry services for beer. And you won’t even notice it until you end up elbow deep in a pile of shit-stained size 48 BVDs that belong to the frat brother everybody calls The Girth.

      Send him to college far away and while he’s gone get into the swinger scene so on his next visit he’ll walk in on a bunch of naked old people having group sex. That will teach him to limit his visits and call ahead.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   kalieris

      That is unfortunately what I had suspected.

      I think, rather than sending him to college far away, I’ll make good on my threat to get one of those tiny little Tumbleweed houses and start a commune in Alaska. Free love and grizzly bears!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 1:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      No, if he goes to school close just start “Dropping By” campus. Not only will he want to see less of you but he might even transfer farther away.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   lue

    In Mom’s defense…she probably didn’t have to eat the peanuts to have a reaction. 2 of my students have peanut allergies and they are very severe. They are not supposed to be near other students who are eating peanut butter and can have a reaction just from the “fumes” etc. Umm I had to watch a video about this at work and now I am passing the information along to you people.

    So yeah, I can understand Mom being somewhat pissed. I feel the note shows remarkable restraint.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   tinkerbell2

      I agree, team Mom. If somone with a severe allergy flies, they’re meant to ask the plane crew not to even serve peanuts on the plane in case peanut dust gets in the air as it recirculates through the cabin.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Alix

      I’m genuinely confused. If the daughter just eats them out of the jar, is it really a danger to the mom? And, if they’re so dangerous to the mom, isn’t even getting close enough to the jar to leave the note risky for her? Of course, she could have written it and handed it to step dad to place I suppose.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 5:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   unholyghost2003 bang

    I kept looking for the word “these” I was expecting it to say “please DO NOT EAT THESE IN THE HOUSE thanks mom”

    but no, no Mom wants her to STARVE or MOVE. I say, get your own place and eat peanuts and peanut based products EVERYDAY!

    Apr 16, 2008 at 7:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Canthz_B bang

      She can even nickname her first born child “Peanut” so Grandma can’t get a bear hug.

      Apr 16, 2008 at 11:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   tinkerbell2

      not to sound too much like i AM her Mom, but I think the ‘these’ is implicit – if there was a sign on a door saying ‘Push’ you’d know it meant ‘Push the door’, right? If there was a sign on something saying ‘Do not touch’ you’d know it meant ‘Do not touch this thing’?

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      Sorry tinkerbell2, that only cuts the mustard with me when signs are attached with something more permanent than the dubious adhesive on free sticky notes. One stiff breeze and the note has laminated itself to the counter 3′ away from the can of nuts. The inclusion of a “these” would at least tell the note recipient that the note was attached to something SPECIFIC rather than being just a general statement.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   Lorelie

      Grandma probably couldn’t even come in the house. There might be fumes.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   damon

    Team Freeloading Daughter on this one. People who are allergic to peanuts fail as a member of the human race. Peanuts are effin delicious!

    Apr 16, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   reverend dick

      Yesss. I was completely on Mom’s team, thinking the daughter is a thoughtless, selfish bitch until this made me see the truth.

      Apr 16, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   RunBarbara

      That anaphylactic shock was ‘effin delicious.

      Apr 16, 2008 at 10:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   mamason bang

      If you can be killed by a peanut then maybe you should take the hint! 8-O

      Team Survival of the Fittest/Natural Selection!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   john

    Even though the combination of words on the freebie pharmaceutical notepad don’t say it, I think we all agree that the underlying message is
    ‘I spent 22 hours in hard labor giving birth to you, raise you to be a good girl and pay for your college education just so you could bring home your dirty underwear after sleeping with who knows how many Australian men and now you want my throat to swell up so I suffocate in the very room that I gave you your first training bra?! Thanks, Mom’

    Apr 16, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   leighann

    cleaning cast iron cookwear is no joke… i support mom on this one

    Apr 16, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   mamason bang

      People who use and love cast iron know that you don’t clean it, you “treat” it. *thanks dad*

      Apr 17, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   hoopla

    Not often do you see a life-or-death PA note. This is a class unto itself.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 9:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   ginger_t

    I think the semantics are getting misconstrued. This IS shorthand for “Please don’t eat [these] in the house.” And believe me, I’ve got a wench of a mothers, so I’m the first to defend anyone against a wench of a mother. Plus, really, they have peanut free lunches at schools because airborne particles are issues for those allergic, so this just does not cut it as passive aggressive to me. Backpacker chick is just bummed at being at home, and who wouldn’t after 6 months rockin’ a backpack and hopefully havin’ flings with hot aussies …

    Apr 16, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   tinkerbell2

      ah. I just posted this as a response above before seeing this. Well said.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   Lorelie

      What’s p/a about it is that even though daughter’s been gone for six months, we can presume mom did not develop this severe a reaction in that time. So daughter knows already if she can eat the peanuts in the house. Making the note read (including subtext) “Please don’t eat in the house — since you hated us enough to leave for six months, surely you don’t remember my mortality.”

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   se

    I’m wondering if the peanuts themselves are a PA message. you know
    ” mom, I’m back, don’t mess with me. or else…”

    Apr 16, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Sarah bang

    Where the hell is the clip art? Everyone knows you can’t take PA notes seriously without clip art!

    Apr 16, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   RunBarbara

    Team Eat In The Yard, You Jet-setting Whore!
    Dude, have you seen Mr. Peanut? He can amble around with a monocle and cane looking like he’s about to tap dance, what makes you think he couldn’t hop right into her peanut-free kitchen and roll around on everything?

    Apr 16, 2008 at 10:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Steph

      Okay, this one? Actually made me do a teeny little spittake.

      Joining Team Eat in the Yard, You Jet-setting Whore!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    I die a little each time Lucy pulls the football away from Charlie Brown’s kick-off attempt.

    Apr 16, 2008 at 11:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   TuesdayPillow

    So uh, mom can’t even be AROUND peanuts? Weakling!

    Also, I am sure that after a long trip back from Australia the daughter was just a little hazy and was more concerned about sleeping, unpacking, seeing friends, etc.


    Apr 16, 2008 at 11:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    Peanut-free airplanes and school lunches?
    We must be in the end of days. For the life of me I don’t remember peanuts being deadly when I was a child.
    Next up will be oxygen allergies.
    I mean really, if you can’t handle peanuts, do you deserve to live?
    Time to thin the herd. :twisted:

    Apr 16, 2008 at 11:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Troy McClure bang

      Maybe we’re not getting weaker; maybe it’s the peanuts who are getting stronger.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 12:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   Canthz_B bang

      Mutant Ninja Peanuts, Geo. Washington Carver’s secret WMD!!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 12:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      I had a friend who was allergic to peanuts and SOY … Who the fuck is allergic to SOY? They are now even using soy as building insulation … so now she can’t live in any building built in the last 5 years w/o first getting a definitive answer as to ALL of the building materials.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.4   claw71 bang

      Think about it.

      It’s always white people who get these weird food allergies. Have you ever heard of a black person being allergic to peanuts?

      Now that could be because every time a brother dies white people blame drive by shootings, but maybe…just maybe…George Washington Craver was setting us up.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.5   Mishee bang

      My friend’s ex-husband was allergic to gluten and iodine (he had to have special salt and everything has gluten in it!) – and then I just discovered last weekend my ex-sister-in-law is allergic to alcohol. I am not so sure about that one – possibly she just had a bad experience? :D

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.6   unholyghost2003 bang

      The author Augusten Burroughs is allergic to alcohol … and was a raging alcoholic. He claims at the peak of his addiction he was taking 20-30 Benadryl a DAY just to keep up with his 2 gallon a day Vodka habit.

      The gluten thing (celiac disease) is getting more and more common. There is even a gluten free bakery not too far from me.

      Knew a guy who was allergic to WHEAT and a girl ALLERGIC to Dairy (slightly different from lactose intolerance which OTHER friends have) too … I need new friends. It is just too hard to host a dinner party for all these freaks.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.7   Quite Contrary

      Mishee: I am “allergic” to alcohol as well. The allergy only seems to show up when I’ve had a lot of alcohol the night before. It’s an amazingly transient allergy!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 11:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.8   secondsout bang

      Claw: Chris Rock once pointed out that it’s only in a country like America, where there’s too much food that people actually get allergies to it. “Ain’t nobody in Kenya who’s lactose intolerant!”

      Apr 17, 2008 at 2:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.9   Canthz_B bang

      Just for you, Mishee…Celiac Disease is 579.0 :-D

      UHG, as far as it becoming more common, that is probably a function of better diagnosis:
      “An estimated two million Americans have the disease but an astounding 97 percent go undiagnosed”.
      –Readers Digest, Oct. 2006

      Apr 17, 2008 at 3:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.10   Mishee bang

      What numbers are allergies to penicillin and erythromycin?? Those are the ones that scare me, since they don’t usually adminster peanuts to people in ERs when they are unconscious…

      but that’s just me…

      Apr 17, 2008 at 5:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.11   Caitlin

      penicillin allergy here! as well as just about every animal with fur/hair(which means clothes made from animal hair/fur), artificial grape flavoring, the spring-time(plant sex), perfumes and a food sensitivity to eggs. i’ve got more but they would take forever. and each one gives me different symptoms.

      i dare anyone here to beat that…

      Apr 17, 2008 at 11:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   TuesdayPillow

    Carver is a whole lot more brilliant than I thought.

    Mass destruction from the grave …

    Apr 17, 2008 at 3:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Canthz_B bang

      That’s it in a nut shell! :-D

      Apr 17, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   claw71 bang

    I can’t relate to the peanut thing. I don’t have allergies and the people I know who do tend to wear their ailments like a badge of honor. There’s a girl at work who seems to think the green bubbles of snot that form in her nostrils during hay fever season are a unique accessory. There’s another who will sneeze in your face and then justify not covering her mouth because she isn’t contagious. If either of them were allergic to peanuts I think I’d decorate the office Texas Steakhouse style with peanut shells all over the place.

    The cast iron issue, however, hits close to home. I have some beautifully seasoned cast iron cookware that I simply adore. They are like children to me and I would kill anybody who would do them harm.

    Apr 17, 2008 at 8:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      Thank you for putting this in perspective Claw. I was so quick to take an anti-Mom stance (and assume laziness on the part of daughter) I never considered that daughter might have given the cast iron a hot, soapy scrub.

      My position has reversed. There is no need for the word “these.” I am now officially on team “If you can’t avoid foods that kill me and you can’t treat my cookware with respect DON’T EAT IN THE HOUSE.”

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   KittyKat

      Claw, I never knew you to be so sensitive.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 9:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.3   poochie bang

      ah, go on. enlighten me. how exactly does one wash cast iron cookware?

      i mean, you’re looking at someone who generally thinks of cast iron in its traditional role of being six feet thick and welded to the side of a naval destroyer.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 9:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      hot water and a soapless plastic scrubbie. Dry and spray with Pam (or apply another oil). NEVER use soap, NEVER use the dishwasher, NEVER leave it to drip dry. If there is food stuck in the pan (meaning you didn’t clean it soon enough, naughty naughty) burn it off in the fireplace or fire pit (I am not joking) or boil the whole damn thing (if possible) but then you will have to RESEASON the pan.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 9:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.5   claw71 bang

      The easy way to avoid tough to clean up messes is to deglaze the pan after cooking. While the pan is still hot a splash of water will loosen up any stuck on residue. It’s like making a pan sauce, which is something any self-respecting cast iron cook knows how to do.

      DO NOT USE PAM!!!!

      That stuff is nasty. There’s a compound in non-stick sprays that gums up in high temperature applications. PAM is designed for non-stick pans which are designed for medium and low heat applications.

      When I clean my cast iron I deglaze it while it’s still hot and I use a mildy abrasive scrub pad with hot water. I immediately dry the pan and give it a quick rub with a little canola oil.

      One of my pans belonged to my grandmother and has such a thick coat of seasoning on it I could probably sand blast it and still have a stick-free finish.

      And if you feel inclined to strip your pans and start from scratch a baking soda solution will take those pans down to bare metal overnight. I learned that lesson while camping in dry alkaline bog.

      I’m sorry to get all serious here but when it comes to cast iron I don’t play around.

      If you’re thinking that cast iron sounds a little high maintenance you’re wrong. It’s actually really easy to use and it’s superior to everyhting else. It heats evenly, handles high heat and browns meat beautifully. You just don’t want to use cast iron as a storage/ serving device. Cook your food, get it to a serving platter and give the cast iron a quick rinse before you do anything else. Properly cared for cast iron can last for generations. All of my pans are older than I am and one is actually a rare chicken fryer that was made in 1921 and is worth nearly $600. I’m not a collector but I can’t bring myself to sell it because it’s my go-to pan.

      The lone exception would be when using a dutch oven for stew, soup or chili but watch out for acidic foods like tomato-based sauces. Acid can ruin a modestly seasoned pan if given enough time.

      One last thing…keep cast iron out of the dish washer!

      I’m done. I’m too personally invested in this discussion.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 10:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.6   Lorelie

      Biscuits and gravy only ever taste right when the gravy’s from a cast iron pan. Not really sure if that’s ’cause the cast iron pan does something to the gravy, or the people who own cast iron know how to make it right but it’s the same result in the end.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 10:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.7   unholyghost2003 bang

      Thanks Claw! (ah! the softer side of Claw) didn’t know that about Pam … it was suggested on a cast iron website, I have never actually used it. We just use hot water and a cotton rag and a little olive oil. (please do tell if Olive Oil is bad! I’ll stop using it!) (though I wouldn’t use baking soda, sure it will take it down to the metal … it can also badly pit the metal making a good reseasoning difficult)

      Apr 17, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.8   poochie bang

      ah, thank you claw. now if i ever get beyond the level of cooking where the most complicated instruction is “pierce film lid several times with a fork” then i know some need special attention.

      this also explains the £180 cast iron frying pan i saw in selfridge’s that one time. and that everyone gave me odd looks when i expressed my disbelief at such a thing.

      of course, even knowing now that it had very good purpose, i still wouldn’t have bought it, because the risk of having a 5kg pan launched at you across the kitchen by your wife isn’t something that’s catered for in the care instruction.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.9   claw71 bang

      The only problem with olive oil is that it has a low smoke point which can be problematic when you go to preheat that pan to sear something. In that situation the scorched olive oil will turn your butter black. I assume you’re all using butter when you brown meat…right?

      I wouldn’t waste your money using the extra virgin stuff for anything other than finishing a dish or a light saute over medium heat. I’m a big fan of canola oil. It’s got the healthy fatty acids in it, has a respectable smoke point and it’s cheap.

      Baking soda really doesn’t pit the metal if you actually want to take the pan down it’s naked state. It’s acid that actually pits the metal. The alkalinity of baking soda reacts with the organic carbon in the seasoning and strips it away.

      Often people think they have pitted pans when the seasoning is actually pitted. That’s when you want to mix up a solution of baking soda and water and let that pan soak for a few hours. Then you can assess the pan and see if it’s damaged.

      Don’t throw cast iron away. Take it to a thrift store or put an ad on craigs list. There are freaks out there who will take a grinder to a pitted pan and smooth it out for resale.

      While your at the thrift store take a look around and see if there’s any cast iron. Most of the time there’s very little if any. That’s because people hunt for it.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 11:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.10   Mishee bang

      Claw you have been absolutely wonderful and informative. You should teach a class!

      And not one racist or risque comment the whole time… you must really really love your cast iron!! :D

      Apr 17, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.11   Canthz_B bang

      Team deglaze the cast iron right away!

      I use warm water and a scrubbie on mine. I finish by drying on the burner.

      My son used my 10″ frying pan and left it to soak in the sink. I nearly killed him!!

      Peanut oil is great for high heat cooking, BTW.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 11:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.12   agatha christie

      Hey claw, I heard somewhere that you could also use coarse salt and lemon juice to clean a cast iron pan… but then would the acidity take off the seasoning? I’ve only had my grill pan for six months and I’ve only used it a couple times, but I’ve had a hard time keeping it clean.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.13   claw71 bang

      You won’t damage the pan as long as you don’t do something silly like use concentrated juice and scrub for hours. The problem with lemon juice and salt is that the salt starts to disolve pretty quickly. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like wasting more expensive kosher salt to scrub my pots and pans.

      I’ve used salt and oil to scour a pesky pan after making a frtitata… I didn’t use enough butter in the bottom of the pan to offset the eggs and the cheese…and that worked wonderfully but I rarely run into that problem.

      Newer pans are harder to keep clean because they haven’t built up a nice layer of black seasoning yet. I suggest frying up some bacon and then using the fat from the bacon to season the pan a few times. There was a time when people saved bacon fat and used it to cook other things. I try to avoid the practice but I’ve got to tell you, sauteing some aspargus in a little bit of bacon grease is nothing short of heavenly.

      By the way, if you don’t want your bacon to curl up like fried piggy pubes, start off with a cold pan. This is one of the rare occasions when you don’t want to preheat the pan. Otherwise a hot pan is a happy pan.

      On last helpful hint: season the outside of the pan too. This will help protect the pan from damage and it allows you to use the bottom of the pan like a griddle. I’ve made crepes on a flipped over cast iron skillet.

      That’s all for this week, kids! Tune in next week and I’ll show you how to use two cast iron pans to make paninis.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.14   imtheone

      That’s it! Snarky, smart and a cook? I know many have asked–will you marry me?

      Apr 17, 2008 at 6:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Ben

    I gotta say, I’m fully on Team Mom on this one. The daughter thought it was okay to blow her wad on backpacking around Australia (when everyone knows that true backpackers only go to 3rd world countries) so now she has to mooch off the rents, but she isn’t willing to respect her mother’s needs and wishes? My house, my rules, and if you don’t like ‘em, g’day mate!

    Apr 17, 2008 at 8:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   mere

    so, wait, no epi-pen around? damn!! no wonder mom was freaking out.

    Apr 17, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   claw71 bang

    So Robin knows damned well that her mother is allergic…deathly allergic no less…to peanuts so when Robin comes back from beatnik-ing through Australia she casually leaves a can of Planter’s finest out in plain sight.

    So who’s being passive agressive here?

    Apr 17, 2008 at 9:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   RP

      I completely agree.

      Mom should have just thrown the peanuts out of the house. She shouldn’t have to ask her own daughter not to bring something she knows will kill her.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 10:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   poochie bang

    i would have thought that leaving the peanuts around would have been an ideal way to get your own place, with the added bonus that you didn’t have to move.

    but don’t take this as a cue to start leaving opened cans of peanuts around the house… unless you can’t afford the deposit.

    Apr 17, 2008 at 9:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   claw71 bang

    Couldn’t resist…to the tune of “Janie’s Got a Gun”

    Dum, dum, dum Robin where’d you leave your head
    Dum, dum, dum Do you want your mother dead
    Dum, dum, dum You made your step dad mad
    Dum, dum, dum that’s what’s up

    Robin’s got a can
    Robin’s got a can
    She’s got a sneaky plan
    And she’ll steal herself a man
    What did your mother do?
    Didn’t you like her stew?
    They said when Robin went backpacking
    Her mother filled the empty nest
    But now Robin moved back in and she bought a peanut can
    Throwing peanuts down her mother’s dress.

    Robin’s got a can
    Robin’s got a can
    She’ll ruin the cast iron pan
    And steal mommy’s sexy man
    When mom dies they’re gonna sue
    Planter’s for a mil or two
    So Robin and her step dad
    We’ll decorate their new pad
    with money from the cash award
    they won’t pay any taxes thanks to anaphylaxis
    and Robin can move upward

    Mother’s got allergies, yeah, yeah, yeah
    Allergies, deadly nut allergies, yeah, yeah yeah
    Nut allergies, Nut allergies, Nut, nut allergies

    Apr 17, 2008 at 9:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   Quite Contrary

    I’m still torn on what team to join. I think the note was a little over the top (and to add insult to injury there was no “Love, M” at the bottom). But Claw’s missive on cast iron pans and my own love of cooking makes me reconsider my position. So…

    Team They are Both Crazy and Inconsiderate and Deserve Each Other

    Apr 17, 2008 at 11:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   Quite Contrary

    The ads at the bottom of the page are for “100% Pure Peanut Oil” and “Aunt Ruby’s Peanuts.” I don’t think Mom can even visit this PAGE.

    Apr 17, 2008 at 11:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   cre8tivewmn

    I understand about the cast iron pans, but way to encourage somebody to clean up after themselves!

    “Yes, you washed it, but you washed it WRONG!”

    Apr 17, 2008 at 12:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   claw71 bang

      Doing it wrong is worse than not doing it in the first place. That applies to everything. As a woman you should know that.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #34.2   Mishee bang

      oh good, something of a misogynistic nature… thank god it is still you there! :D

      My hubby’s fave joke:

      Q: How do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes to do the dishes?

      A: You don’t – you already told her twice.

      Apr 17, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #34.3   Canthz_B bang

      Team do it until you get it right, Baby! :-P

      Apr 17, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #35   Katzndogz bang

    Anybody got a peanut?

    Apr 17, 2008 at 12:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Mishee bang

      You were supposed to wait until someone told us to stop rhyming now, and they mean it!!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #36   Meagan

    WTF is going on here?

    Swingers, cast iron and Aerosmith parodies. Don’t you have a job, claw?

    Apr 17, 2008 at 1:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Mishee bang

      claw’s only job is cruising thru the lunch room at 12:45pm and keeping his albino python in check…

      Apr 17, 2008 at 1:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.2   Canthz_B bang

      Somebody has a crush on claw! ♥

      Apr 17, 2008 at 2:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.3   Mishee bang

      I have never made my online crush over claw a secret CB! Hell, in one of the other threads, someone wanted to marry him – I almost had to throw down!!! :D

      I’ve got dibs, since I’ve been on PAN longest – seniority baby!!!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.4   Canthz_B bang

      Don’t tell me, tell Meagan!! 8-O

      Apr 17, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.5   Mishee bang

      Meagan – back off!!! grrrr!!!


      Apr 17, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.6   secondsout bang

      Hi Meagan, thanks for your informative, witty, and insightful comments! Seriously, you only comment to attack Claw. What’s the point? Why hate?

      Apr 17, 2008 at 3:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.7   Mishee bang

      I’m pretty sure claw has a job – his job is entertain, delight, and even offend us – and he does his job very well!!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.8   unholyghost2003 bang

      Oh Meagan! Do I have to remind you that you once made a promise? A promise I hold dear to my heart. That promise was to GO AWAY.

      WHY did you lie to me Meagan? Why?

      Apr 17, 2008 at 3:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.9   RunBarbara

      Is someone going to say that the albino python was effin delicious….? Anyone? Anyone?

      Apr 17, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.10   Canthz_B bang

      NOT ME!!!!!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 4:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.11   Mishee bang

      I’m thinkin’ you just did, Ben Stein….

      Apr 17, 2008 at 5:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #37   Canthz_B bang

    This is all so depressing. Imagine a life lived without Snickers, peanut brittle or Cracker Jack. Mom can’t even look for Mr. Goodbar!

    Apr 17, 2008 at 2:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   RunBarbara

      Canthz, Im allergic to olives and rosemary. I have learned to forget about Eye-talian food. I can’t even watch The Godfather without breaking out in hives (but that could be from my severe aversion to sitting still for four hours).

      Apr 17, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #37.2   Canthz_B bang

      The olive is vodka’s best friend!

      CB will do, BTW. No need to type out Canthz. :-)

      Apr 17, 2008 at 4:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #38   Summer

    The peanut can definitely symbolizes a rift in the relationship between mom and daughter. The whole PA thing obviousley points to a communication problem. it could have been worse, if dad had left the note about mom’s allergy, or signed it next to mom. This fam needs an intervention. Or, mom just needs to be able to say “hey, don’t go traveling all over the place for half a year, then come home, disrupt my routine and leave shit all over the floor of your room”.
    Daughter needs to say “I’m tired and saw so much out on my own, I want to feel like a kid again, can I leave my room messy and lay on your lap while we watch tv, you can play with my hair.”

    Apr 17, 2008 at 3:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #39   Mishee bang

    I just realized something – did Robin happen to have peanut free trail mix (cause I think of trail mix, and I think of peanuts, rasins, and M&Ms) – if not, she’s lucky mom didn’t catch that in the house, too!!

    Apr 17, 2008 at 4:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #40   Diane

    Excuse me, your mom’s deathly allergic to peanuts, so you leave an opened can of peanuts lying around the house? And she’s the passive-aggressive one?

    Apr 17, 2008 at 6:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Mishee bang

      Diane, clear the self righteousness from your eyes and reread the intro where it plainly states that the can of peanuts was unopened

      Apr 17, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #41   Canthz_B bang

    Reading is FUN-damental! :-)

    This should be nested as #40.2

    Apr 17, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      GIGGLEBRAX Your Comments CB sheesh!

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #42   Robin bang

    Hi all. OK, so I MAY HAVE forgotten the peanut thing because my mom is pretty much allergic to everything under the sun, though to differing degrees. She can’t eat many fruits, vegetables and breads because of the ingredients, and she can’t even go out to dinner before checking if the restaurant uses latex gloves. Was def my mistake I forgot about the peanut one, but they WERE closed. If they weren’t, I probably have gotten in a lot more trouble :)

    Also, I was only there for four days at her request. I spent most of my time back in the city crashing on siblings and friends’ couches while I looked for an apartment. I’m happy to say I’m now happily settled in Brooklyn.

    And uh, wow on the cast iron pots everyone. I had no idea. I don’t think I’m ever going to buy one. WAY too complicated!

    Apr 17, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      Were you not listening when your mother explained? ;)

      Apr 17, 2008 at 8:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #43   Jaybird

    Looks like it says “DO NOT EAT IN THE HOWE”

    Apr 17, 2008 at 10:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #44   kaherbert bang

    I am deathly allergic to peanuts. Someone like me can react to simply touching a surface with traces of peanut oil.

    That said my family has eaten peanut products around me all my life. As long as they are old enough to dispose of the trash and wash their hands on their own, I don’t have a problem with it.

    When you grow up with this allergy in the family, you pick up certain habits. My sister and cousins wrap anything containing peanuts in a plastic bag before putting it in an indoor trash can, or they put in the outdoor trash can. I seriously doubt the mother was in any danger. she way over reacted.

    The Mom way over reacted.

    Apr 17, 2008 at 10:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Sara

      Wait, did she over react?

      Apr 18, 2008 at 10:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #44.2   Kimberly

      I think so. I can die if someone touches me after handling peanut products. I’ve even reacted to air born particles from people frying in Peanut Oil.

      I don’t expect my family to eliminate peanut products from their lives. It would be very difficult to do. Look at packaging – you won’t believe how many food items have peanut products. Then there are things that don’t have allergy warnings – like fabric softener but contain peanut proteins.

      We have basic safety rules in the family. When Sis and Cousin got married – both their husbands were very puzzled by some of their habits. Like wrapping peanut butter jars in a plastic bag before putting it in the trash.

      My Niece and her young cousin (3 & 4 yo) are allowed to have peanut products around me – if there is another family member over say 12 around. The other family member can help the little ones wash their hands after they finish their snack.

      When I’m the only responsible person watching them, they can’t have peanut products. You would think they would pitch fits, because they are so young. They don’t – the rule as been around since they started eating solids the kids just accept it.

      A sealed can unpacked from a backpack – isn’t that much of a danger. I’m assuming the young lady grew up with mom being peanut allergic – she gets it and wouldn’t endanger her mom.

      For some perspective – I will press criminal charges of poisoning and attempted murder if someone lies to me and gives me food with peanut products in it. As a teen – had several people try to prove to me that it was all in my head. Once I made it clear that I would press charges – these attempts stopped.

      Apr 19, 2008 at 1:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #45   icruise

    Kimberly — You can die from touching peanut particles, but you don’t expect your family to give up eating peanuts? I’m not sure I understand that. We were never hardcore peanut eaters (I actually can’t stand peanuts on their own) but I did like peanut butter and the like. But when my young son was diagnosed with a peanut allergy, we decided to never have peanut-related products in the house. Of course it would be harder to totally get rid of products containing traces of peanuts, since they’re all over the place, so we do still have to be careful about what he eats, even at home.

    To the people joking that people with peanut allergies *should* die, that’s just pathetic. I’ll also say that peanut allergies are becoming very common, so it’s probably just a matter of time before you find that someone you know (maybe your own child) has one.

    Apr 20, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Kimberly

      My very large, very extended, very overprotective family was always careful, but no we did not ban peanuts from the other kids lives.

      Now I’m a 3rd generation survivor with this set of health problems. Asthma, Peanut allergy, Atopic dermintitise (SP). It must be totally different to have a 1st gen kid.

      My friends and family get the rules. I’ve never had a reaction from family prepared food, we have walked out of restaurants that swore they didn’t use peanut oil because I could smell it. My family knew to trust my gut – if I objected to a food or called it itchy – I did not eat it.

      I refuse to allow my medical conditions to rule my life. Just this Friday a co-worker tried to tell me I couldn’t go to a baseball game because of the peanuts other people would be eating. I go to games. I wear closed toed shoes (rare, I usually were sandals because of the skin stuff), long pants and take a way oversized jacket. 40 some years of attending games. Season passes to UH football as a kid – I’ve had a problem 1 time.

      Some punks were throwing peanut shells down on our section. Dad told them to stop – and why. They said , Who’s going to make us old man. Every adult in “our section” of the stood up and turned around. The staff at the dome hustled those kids out and called the parents (who had the season tickets) to pick them up.

      The first word I was taught to read was peanut. I’ve been reading labels since I was 5 (adults aways double checked). I’ve been able to give a complete medical history for me and my Sis since I was about the same age.

      When I was a kid, they didn’t have to list the oils on the packaging. It just had to say vegetable oil. That landed me in the ER many times. I can remember triage nurses bug eyed at this weird accented grade school kid (mix of East/Houston Texas, PEI, and Texas German) rattling off this long medical terms. Now my parents were there to back me up – but the first time I had to go without them. I knew what to do and kept my University friends calm.

      BTW – closest I have come to dying was from bed sheets. I was house sitting and had a massive reaction to the laundry detergent.

      Apr 20, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #46   bobby

    I had a co-worker who was allergic to peanuts and even touching a jar of a customer’s peanut butter would give her a rash. I would think this person’s mother would not even go near it and just remind her when she sees her in person. Oh, unless she’s passive aggressive. Nevermind.

    Jul 24, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #47   fornetti

    I do not believe this

    Sep 1, 2008 at 8:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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