no girls allowed

April 18th, 2008 · 93 comments

writes bailey in oklahoma: “my nine-year-old brother hung the original note on his door when i came home from college for christmas. after i laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. when i when walked in anyway, he yelled, “didn’t you see the sign?!?’ i can’t believe i’m being patronized by a third-grader.”

no girls allowed

(don’t worry, bailey, you’re not the only one.)

Tags: battle of the sexes · kids · siblings · visual aids

93 responses so far ↓

  • #1  Lannie

    “except my girl cousin”? Did George Michael Bluth write this sign?

    Apr 18, 2008 at 12:47 am   rating: +7  

    • #1.1  Johnny Tsunami

      I want you to that I sincerely enjoyed your Arrested Development allusion. I can’t wait for the movie (even though it’s probably going to be terrible).

      Apr 19, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #1.2  Stephanie

      Awesome reference!

      Apr 22, 2008 at 10:01 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #2  aflirtycatastrophe

    …”except my girl cousin” because she’s not really like a girl anyway?

    tomboys, ftw! Getting into places no girl has gone before.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 12:53 am   rating: +2  

    • #2.1  secondsout

      Well, yeah, she probably would beat his ass if he denied her entry to the room. This is a nice way of acquiescing and avoiding the ass-kicking. Girl cousin is apparently butcher and scarier than 19 yo Bailey.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 7:42 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #3  Bailey

    Our cousins had just visited, and apparently one of them was allowed in.

    I’m his sister, ten years older.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 1:34 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #4  aimee

    PAN god, you mean, Bailey’s not the ‘olny’ one?

    Apr 18, 2008 at 1:45 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #5  Emily

    I’m sorry, these notes are just damn adorable. it’s like the little rascals

    Apr 18, 2008 at 1:55 am   rating: +1  

    • #5.1  Canthz_B

      I’ll bet her next entry try will be stymied!

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:58 am   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #6  Canthz_B

    I’m trying really hard to not make an “Okie” joke, but you might be a Redneck if your girl cousin was the ‘olny’ girl that was allowed into your room.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 2:43 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #7  Tyler

    Reminds me of one of my old roommates….except he didn’t like girls in the “other” way…

    9 year olds have an excuse. They haven’t built up an immunity to cooties yet.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 2:54 am   rating: +3  

    • #7.1  secondsout

      The circle-circle-dot-dot style of cootie shot has its limitations.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 4:12 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #8  kurt kuden

    ‘olny’? haha

    Oh my god! This pic is so funny!

    Apr 18, 2008 at 3:06 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #9  Izzy

    Well, as it doesn’t actually say ‘only’, I think she can get away with it. She should ask him what ‘olny’ means.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 4:56 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #10  marcopuffin

    The cuteness of this cancels out any latent passive aggression. It’s olny fair!

    Apr 18, 2008 at 5:29 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #11  RALPHY

    Well Bailey, looks like your brother has acquired the ability to set his own parameters. Not to worry though, his female aversion will only last until 10–then the sign will be replaced with “GIRLS PLEASE,PLEASE ENTER”. That means any girl except you Bailey. Sorry

    Apr 18, 2008 at 5:39 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #12  claw71

    Is that a rendering of Bailey on the second note?

    If so, I wouldn’t want her in my room either. What sort of girl wears a “Kid-n-Play” high top fade?

    Apr 18, 2008 at 5:51 am   rating: +3  

    • #12.1  Mishee

      I heard the fade was on it’s way back “in”…

      I guess you will be at the height of fashion again soon claw!! :D

      Apr 18, 2008 at 8:55 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.2  claw71

      Not me. The hair’s too thin. I’m looking at sporting a post hippy mullet.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 9:17 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.3  GhostWriter

      I believe the term for that is, “skullet.”

      Apr 18, 2008 at 9:25 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #12.4  KittyKat

      The comb-over’s always in fashion. Sexy!

      Apr 18, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.5  secondsout

      Not only that, but Bailey appears to have a goatee in this rendition. Good lord, girl! Lay off the testosterone.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 1:59 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #13  marcopuffin

    I love the very clear pictures, arrows and instructions, so there can be no mistake. This is a clear headed boy who knows his own mind.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 6:00 am   rating: +2  

    • #13.1  Canthz_B

      I don’t know…didn’t we all write the love notes that went kind of like: “I like you. Do you like me? check ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”?

      Apr 18, 2008 at 6:18 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #13.2  anglophile

      *takes note, checks yes, hands it back to cb, and runs away giggling*

      Apr 18, 2008 at 6:34 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #13.3  Canthz_B

      Alright now girl, ya gonna give me a case of puppy love! :-P

      Apr 18, 2008 at 7:11 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #13.4  gia

      No no no no! You write in “maybe”, place a check next to it, and hide it in their desk

      Jul 1, 2008 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #14  Wade

    Looks to me like little brother is using passive-aggression to counteract the active aggression of an older sibling who still thinks the whole house belongs to her. :P

    Apr 18, 2008 at 6:46 am   rating: +3  

    • #14.1  marcopuffin

      “after i laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. when i when walked in anyway, he yelled, “didn’t you see the sign?!?’” You’re right; the full scale of her unwarranted incursion has olny just struck me.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 8:47 am   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #15  VegasBarbie

    Next time his friends are at the house, Bailey should pull out the baby pictures (bathing ones are the best)….Sibling rivalry can be fun 8oD

    Apr 18, 2008 at 8:50 am   rating: +2  

    • #15.1  marcopuffin

      She should proceed with caution or she could find all her bras strung on a washing line outside their house (I speak from experience)

      Apr 18, 2008 at 8:54 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #15.2  Lorelie

      Naw, learning to potty train trumps all, even a bearskin rug pic.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 8:56 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #15.3  RunBarbara

      My brother and I had a most excellent rivalry for years. He thwacked me across the hand with one of those wooden rulers that has a metal edge (two stitches), I shaved his eyebrows off his first day before high school (bonus points for spitting on the razor), he wound up a Hot Wheels car until the wheels were grinding and then stuck in in my hair (which had to be cut into a horrible Peter Pan bowl cut), I glued the toes on his feet together (trip to the ER), he shot me at point blank range with a paint ball gun in my butt (huge welt) and, to date, I have slipped him Orajel as chapstick about fifteen times (numb lips, awesomely funny). We never left notes; we sent each other to the doctor.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 2:29 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #15.4  secondsout

      Then there was the time that RunBarbara branded her brother. His reply was to leave her for dead in the middle of the desert. Not to be outdone, she knocked out his teeth with a golf club. After her brother cut off her left foot in revenge, they called a truce.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:06 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #15.5  RunBarbara

      You forgot to mention the time when I turned him into the F.B.I. for “un-American” activities that involved a rodeo clown, three french poodles and a bottle of olive oil.
      When he was finally released from custody I was on the business side of a meeeeean Indian burn.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:30 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #15.6  Mishee

      My brother tells me all the time that he “owes” me about “10,000 for flinching”, cause he was just so nice about it and didn’t hit me when we were kids…

      I am sure somewhere he has a tally written down, and I don’t doubt that one day he will try to collect…

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:37 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #15.7  VegasBarbie

      I had one of those medallion necklaces with my astrological sign on it…I got mad at my brother once and flung it at him cutting him over the eye…And my parents love to tell how I tried to teach him kindergarten songs when I was 5/6 and he was 4.5 yrs younger than me. They say I would get so mad at him….I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t sing them with me….

      I was a horrendous older sister. I can’t believe he still speaks to me.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #16  GhostWriter

    Ahh, third grade.

    Those wonderful anything-can-happen days spent solving mysteries and exploring haunted castles with my imaginary girl cousin. We were close; so very close, and eventually discovered that we were cousins. Cousins with secret mind powers. In time, I taught her to hide, and she taught me to seek. No other girl could ever live up to her.

    Third grade.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #17  Quite Contrary

    What impresses me so much is that a third grader got his point across better than many alleged adults in the workplace who seemed to think that clip art was the way to go.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 9:31 am   rating: +2  

    • #17.1  Summer

      His pictures foretell a future with lots of PA clip art signs, some hint of flow charting as well there.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 9:42 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.2  amazon

      The PA is strong in this one…

      Apr 18, 2008 at 5:45 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #18  murray

    Hey, I once had a sticker club, so I can’t comment on the sign…however, I would like to say, how rude and inconsiderate of the sister to completely ignore his wishes, however silly. Bed without dessert for her, and no stickers.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 9:47 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #19  GhostWriter

    To be fair, the last thing a 9 yr. old needs during a prepubescent moment of discovery is an older sister barging in on him. Talk about a buzzkill.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 9:59 am   rating: +2  

    • #19.1  claw71

      That all depends on where you live and how hot your sister is. I’m guessing in Oklahoma siblings are fair game.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 10:53 am   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #20  unholyghost2003

    I’m with GW on this. Bailey, why were you even going into his room? I am sure at 10 years older you probably changed his diapers and wiped his nose … but he doesn’t need that any more. (Not to mention that is the age when boy’s rooms really start to SMELL. EWWW)

    I am on team KNOCK, ask to come in, if denied entry talk through the door.

    I mean would you want him wandering into YOUR room whenever HE felt like it?

    Apr 18, 2008 at 10:52 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #21  claw71

    ….except my girl cousin.

    Because she puts out.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: +3  

    • #21.1  Epiphany

      Yikes.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #21.2  RunBarbara

      Claw, Im imagining that your games of “Doctor” still occur in dark closests to this very day….

      Apr 18, 2008 at 2:42 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #21.3  claw71

      I always played “Doctor” with the lights on.

      Stinkfinger was my favorite closet game.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:31 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #22  claw71

    To the tune of “Smoking in The Boys’ Room”


    Chilling in my bedroom with my nudie pics
    Pants around my ankles and in walks my sis
    She’s twice my age and ugly, smells like cigarettes
    Bitch, get out of here I need to relieve some stress

    This is just a boys’ room
    This is just a boys’ room
    Bailey can’t you read the note up on the door
    Exception for my cousin because she’s a freaky whore

    Couldn’t pass the ACT so she goes to OSU
    That explains the pictures, I thought that they would do
    But she doesn’t get it, Bailey’s really slow
    I’m only 9 I can’t drive there’s no place else to go

    This is just a boys’ room
    This is just a boys’ room
    Now Bailey, please try to honor the note on the door
    Unless you bring drunk friends so I can be sure to score

    Apr 18, 2008 at 11:11 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #23  Hawkeye

    Man these comments are great. I’ve been checking out the notes and skipping the comments for quite some time. BIG MISTAKE!

    Some of you “troublemakers” should have websites to yourselves. I love it.

    So to you regulars I have to ask: who’s on the short list for must read commenters? I have a few ideas based on what I’ve read so far but I was wondering who people really like and who is just annoying.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 1:32 pm   rating: +2  

    • #23.1  unholyghost2003

      ooooh! I want to see YOUR list first … you show me yours and I’ll show you mine! ;)

      Apr 18, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.2  Mishee

      I would have to put claw at the top of the the “To Watch” list (among many others) - but I am biased since he’s my imaginary internet lover… I wouldn’t stick around here if you don’t have a pretty thick skin!!

      and he has an albino python…

      Apr 18, 2008 at 1:39 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #23.3  Mishee

      oh yeah, and this chick “Mrs. Bender’ - watch out for her!! she’s just crazy!!

      Apr 18, 2008 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.4  Hawkeye

      From what I’ve read Claw seems funny but I figured he posts so much everybody would be over him by now. Ghost Writer is pretty cool.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 2:02 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.5  RunBarbara

      I like BellaBeastie, Claw and GW. Mishee is also very funny.
      And, of course, Im an effin genius.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 2:34 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.6  claw71

      I like Meagan.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #23.7  unholyghost2003

      OMFG! Claw! I HURT myself laughing at that!

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.8  Mishee

      claw, too bad the feeling isn’t mutual…

      But that’s okay, cause I wouldn’t want to have to smack the bitch down and make her recognize! It’s just better this way…

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:32 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.9  Canthz_B

      I guess it depends on the note. Everyone seems to have talent, just that some notes hit certain minds differently.

      And what am I…chopped liver??!! :-D

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #23.10  Quite Contrary

      There are some who are just plain funny on every note (such as Claw, Troy McClure, UHG, Mishee, to name just a few). And, as CB points out, there are some notes that are MADE for certain people. But you never really know who those people are until the comments come. Notes about, from or in any way to do with mothers usually are a win win for everyone! And no one, I mean no one, is chopped liver around here. But the thicked skin advice is sound. Nothing, I mean nothing, is sacred.

      Apr 20, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.11  unholyghost2003

      Quite Contrary, AWW You LIKE me You REALLY LIKE ME!

      but yup, thick skin is most important, around here Sacred Cows = Holy Hamburger.

      Apr 21, 2008 at 11:23 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #23.12  Mishee

      CB - you rock in a Samuel L. Jackson type way… but you know we love ya!! :D

      Apr 21, 2008 at 11:26 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #24  Sarah

    Bailey should take the sign down, hide it at least until he hits puberty, then repost it when her brother starts having girls over.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #25  Rumble_fish

    Dear Bailey,

    I know that the gender symbol for the male is the circle with the arrow. I think he made his point quite clear, although flaccid.

    Dr. Rumblefish

    Apr 18, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #26  claw71

    I can still remember it like it was yesterday. My older sister barged into my room and caught me doing what boys do when they’re in their rooms all alone. She was disgusted and she ran from the room.

    Seconds later she came back with two of her friends who were staying over. She told me to show them what I was doing. At first I didn’t want to but when she threatend to tell our mom that I had porn in the room I had no choice.

    They laughed. Apparently I was doing it all wrong. My grip was too loose and I had my palm inverted. “You’ll never get any friction that way,” her friend Becky said.

    So I tightened my grip and repositioned my hand. Amanda, my sister’s other friend laughed. “Now you’re squeezing too hard. Here,” she said reaching down “let me show you.”

    The three of them took turns showing me some different techniques and educating me on a number of other items they don’t cover in sex ed. I never locked my bedroom door again.

    I don’t know what happened to Becky and Amanda but my sister became a teacher. At least for a while. I’m not sure when she’ll get out of prison but I don’t think they’ll let her teach anymore.

    Apr 18, 2008 at 3:26 pm   rating: +4  

    • #26.1  RunBarbara

      Do you think they will make her go door-to-door and give a special introduction when she moves into a new neighborhood?
      That’s how I met my husband.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:32 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #26.2  GhostWriter

      I’m waiting for the punchline, Claw. Were you whittling? …ironing??…maybe sticking balloons to the ceiling with static electricity???

      There’s more to this story than meets the eye. My money’s on “ironing”- it’s got a taste of that Claw-style faux chauvinism.

      Maybe putting?

      Apr 18, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #26.3  Canthz_B

      I used to “iron” to Annette Funicello Mickey Mouse Club re-runs! Doggy water heaven! ;-)

      Apr 18, 2008 at 4:05 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #26.4  ShizzStirrer

      Dear Penthouse,

      I never thought it would happen to me…

      Apr 18, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #26.5  Hawkeye

      That’s pretty twisted. I bet Bailey never looks at her brother the same way again. Or this site.

      Apr 18, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #26.6  Heidi