homero in portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note (attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly) waiting on his chair. though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “she’s kind of socially stunted, but seems to think that a) she’s very funny and b) we’re BFF,” homero says. “um…no.”
related: wow, indeed
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134 responses so far ↓
#1 Mishee
I’ve read the Portland Mirror, I’ve seen the people who live in Portland (I used to ride Tri-Met, that is an experience unto intself!), and I’ve seen Portland businesses - this does not surprise me one bit.
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:05 am rating: 0
#2 Quite Contrary
I’m not sure what is worse. The note on your chair from the co-worker-who-thinks-they-are-funny- AND-your friend or the note from your boss that says nothing more than “see me.” Ah, work. And they wonder why I took the day off today.
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:06 am rating: +1
#3 Gez
Team weird friend. Sending this in to PAN is the most PA way of saying that you don’t want to be friends
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:06 am rating: +1
#4 acolyte
Nice back hand slap I would say. Either she’s being a wise ass or we really need to see Homero’s hair…
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:11 am rating: 0
#5 kalyke
Meh. I would be frightened if a friend wannabe left that at my desk. That guy is frightening looking.
I think this person should find a “find a friend” ad and tape it to the coworkers desk.
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:17 am rating: +1
#6 zchamu
What is that thing? Is he shaving a ham hock or something? I’m scared.
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:18 am rating: +1
#7 anglophile
Oh, poor thing. She has a crush on him, and this was the best way of flirting with him she could think of. I remember back in first grade, when, in a misguided attempt to flirt with the cutest boy in class, I hit him really hard. The teacher yelled at me and I was so embarrassed!
Of course, Freddy and I ended up being THE couple of the class until sixth grade, so maybe my technique wasn’t so bad after all….
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:21 am rating: +2
#8 Lorrie
Still less frightening than finding a pair of scissors next to your head in the morning when you wake up.
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: +1
#9 Epiphany
Of course he would be fucking up people’s hair! He doesn’t have any on his head!
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:39 am rating: 0
#10 Wade
Is that supposed to be a tongue, or is smiley drooling?
Apr 21, 2008 at 10:41 am rating: +2
#11 agatha christie
I love those “I think I’m your friend” friends. The type that traipses around the eight-floor library in search of you when you don’t answer her calls and then when she finds you, asks why you didn’t answer and wants to hang out.
Apr 21, 2008 at 11:49 am rating: 0
#12 claw71
So you go by the name “Homero” and you think somebody else has social issues?
Apr 21, 2008 at 11:51 am rating: 0
#13 claw71
My name is Homero
I drive a Camaro
I wear a mullet each day
I’ve grown me a moustache
and a nice little soul patch
as a little symbol I’m gay.
Apr 21, 2008 at 12:05 pm rating: +2
#14 RunBarbara
You need to take action, Homero. Next thing you know there will be an unwrapped pair of European boxers with a note attached that says..“I saw these in my brother’s drawer and thought of you. See you at the water cooler, pal!”
Apr 21, 2008 at 12:08 pm rating: +1
#15 Set To Evil
Going to a bald barber is like going to a mechanic who dosen’t own a car.
Apr 21, 2008 at 12:54 pm rating: +1
#16 secondsout
In many cities, the hair-cutting industry is dominated by gay men. Rob is threatening to buck that trend and start the wave of scary-looking tattooed freak-show type of barbers.
Go to get a little off the top, and as long as you’re there, you get your cock pierced, and a set of job-stoppers tattooed across your knuckles that reads, “Mom’s Dead!”
Apr 21, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#17 Tatman
I don’t know about getting my hair cut by a bald guy, but the trimmings were fucking delicious.
Sorry to steal someone else’s joke, but it’s fucking hilarious!
Apr 21, 2008 at 2:06 pm rating: +1
#18 Tyler
One stormy night, Homero comes home after a long day at work. Upon opening his front door he finds his kitchen floor is a little wet; a window is open. Thinking nothing of it he begins to cook dinner. As he begins to gather the ingredients for the rolls he is about to prepare, he realizes he can’t find his flour. “I could have sworn it was in this lower cupboard,” he thinks to himself. Frustrated, he begins searching the entire kitchen, when a hurried knock on the front door echoes throughout the house. “Who could that be? I don’t have any friends,” he says aloud. Reluctantly he goes into the front entry way, and cracks open the door. Suddenly, a push from the other side swings the door open making him lose his balance. In the darkness of the night stood his coworker. “I saw this flour and thought you might find it’s services helpful!” she breathed, in a manical, broken tone. Homero then looked down at what she was carrying. In her hands was the opened, half empty bag of flour from his cupboard….
Apr 21, 2008 at 2:34 pm rating: +6