Reason #962 why I’m happy Facebook wasn’t around when I was in high school…
related: 2 good 2b 4gotten
extra credit: Judy “just kidding” Grimes [SNL]
No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)
April 22nd, 2008 · 90 comments
FILED UNDER: Facebook · frenemies · just kidding! · schools & teachers
90 responses so far ↓
#1
aimee
you denied our friendship! now i’m going to shoot myself! (just kidding!)
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:09 am rating: 26
#2
Canthz_B
What do I need to kiss to get my face on your page? Why is your page not all about me just like mine is? You obviously don’t love me as much as I love myself. You are denying our friendship.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:28 am rating: 70
#3
Resident Grammarian esq
I’m about to cry myself to sleep, tee hee just kidding. My repeated use of elipses shows just how difficult this great slight is… lol. I’m cutting my wrists now, but at least you’re pretty… rofl.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: 41
#4
fantasy
It is just so much easier to press delete!
I’ll show you what I think of your Drama!
Now you can go kill yourself!
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:35 am rating: 1
#5
park rose
I’m Hurt. John Hurt. You may know me from such films as The Elephant Man.
Why did you choose the one formal picture which I am not in?
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:38 am rating: 30
#6
Ryan
Maybe if A’s head wasn’t so big, B would be able to see herself in the pictures.
Maybe A is going to cry herself to sleep on her huge pillow.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:41 am rating: 26
#7
Crash
Thank’s…I knew you’d understand.
You were pretty too… ( jokes )
but I am the prettier one so I was just making you look good because I care.
You’re totally my BFF !!
( teasing )
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: 9
#8
fantasy
Even though A is “VERY” hurt. I think B really
put her where she belongs…..Out of the picture!
*no joking*
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:48 am rating: 5
#9
fantasy
A is really in DENIAL about how close she
thinks she is with B. I think maybe a facebook
intervention is in order. Just joking…lol
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:52 am rating: 1
#10
Crash
I wonder why “The one formal picture” is the only one B is smiling in and the only one A is not in ???
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:58 am rating: 28
#11
aflirtycatastrophe
A: I’m really telling you this because I’m terribly insecure and the only way I can feel good about myself is if I appear in everyone’s Facebook profile picture. Because it’s obviously all about me and not you and your profile. Psh. I’m going to go stuff my face with bonbons now. (jokes) [they're actually twinkies]
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:00 am rating: 6
#12
Andy
Shouldn’t the last message (12:16pm) be from Person A and not Person B? I can’t make sense of it otherwise.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:03 am rating: 3
#13
Steph
You know, I’d laugh, but this stuff still happens when you’re in your 30s. Facebook: Bringing out the insecure 15 year old in everyone.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:06 am rating: 8
#14
Set To Evil
This reads exactly like Life in Hell’s Akbar and Jeff!
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:35 am rating: 1
#15
Tyler
I had a roommate like that. He didn’t care what he said, as long as it had the disclaimer, “just kidding,” after a short pause.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:41 am rating: 1
#16
Canthz_B
Is “A” emotionally hurt or physically?
She needs to be physically hurt.
Just kidding!
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:52 am rating: 6
#17
Chipmunk
I’m more concerned that A is under the impression that a friendship can be made or broken because of a choice in Facebook picture.
It’s like people who stop being friends because they’re not included in another person’s Top 8 on MySpace. You know who does that? FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS.
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:48 am rating: 2
#18
claw71
If MySpace and FaceBook had existed back in the 1980s nobody would have written “The Greatest Love of All.”
I decided to be safe
I will never procreate
If have sex ,If I should breed
My kids will have strange emo needs
Apr 22, 2008 at 6:44 am rating: 2
#19
brianjb
This pretty much sums up what the social networking sites eventually degenerate to. It’s no longer about networking or connecting. It’s about getting my face on everyone’s site, collecting the most friends and then ignoring them because who can keep up with 300 “friends,” especially when you are busy monitoring who isn’t putting your face on their site.
Apr 22, 2008 at 7:36 am rating: 8
#20
GhostWriter
You know what? This exact thing happened when I (A) checked in on my wife Shanikqua’s (B) FaceBook. The “formal” pic she chose was her in a cocktail dress, holding two drunk bozos in twin headlocks under her twin headlights (set for fog).
She did look pretty; I’ll give her that…
Apr 22, 2008 at 8:11 am rating: 8
#21
zchamu
Ahhh, teenage drama. OMG I am SOOOO hurt. I want to kill you! Jokes!
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:01 am rating: 0
#22
Mishee
I’m thinking A should’ve just put her comments in quotes – then B would’ve known she was being sarcastic.
Ahhh, webspeak is wonderful, isn’t it?
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:02 am rating: 1
#23
GhostWriter
Checking the timestamps, it would appear that the most sleep was lost by B, as she anxiously generated the line, “It’s the only pic of me smiling…” Ten hours ofhang-wringing, and that’s the best you can come up with? What about, “Back off, Creeper- since when do we have a friendship?”
That’s the one I get most of the time…
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:14 am rating: 2
#24
claw71
As I read this note I have a soundtrack playing in my head. I couldn’t place it at first but I think it’ s The Cure.
Whenever I’m Facebooking you
I feel like I’m on probation
Whenever I’m facebooking you
It’s like another violation
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: 2
#25
Ida Knowe
Or maybe B could of said something like; My mother wasn’t in the picture either, you don’t see her asking if I’m denying her paternity!
Jeeze Louise….Grow up and get a life.
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:41 am rating: 1
#26
Izzy
You should never try to make jokes online. They get lost unless you put a smily face. A missed out on that lesson.
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:45 am rating: 1
#27
claw71
This is a serious syntax question:
What if you include sarcastic quotes around phrases like just kidding?
“No worries, just teasing.” Apparently I’m not important to you. “JOKES!”
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:53 am rating: 1
#28
se
Gee, I want to hunt down and hurt people who put my picture on their networking page.
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:12 am rating: 3
#29
A
OMG! How did this end up here?
OK, let’s get the back story on this. A bunch of us went to the Spring Formal here at Sweet Valley High. My BFF, A, booked a limo so we could all go in style but it never showed up. So I hitched a ride on a logging truck and got to the dance but I smelled like Newports.
Then A, ignored me the whole time. I saw all of them taking a group picture so I had to run over there and get in. They took one picture without me.
We all hung out for a while but then they all left without me. So I didn’t even get to ride in the limo I chipped in for.
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:13 am rating: 6
#30
claw71
Everybody Hurts
On your Facebook blog
Where am I
I thought I was your friend
I think I’ve had enough
of your crap, so it’s the end
You’re such a stupid HO
you went and made me cry
and everybody hurts
sometimes
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:32 am rating: 0
#31
Quite Contrary
And all of us are reason#963 why I’m glad facebook wasn’t around in high school…or college…or early 20′s drunken benders.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:52 pm rating: 0
#32
tragically mep
“A” needs to learn to how to negate her comments in a sneakier way than “Jokes!”
It’s become a great art at my workplace:
You *actually* did a good job on that report.
*Apparently* the people in finance like you.
I *seriously* wish I could promote you.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:06 pm rating: 4
#33
GhostWriter
“Hey, Doc- check out this picture. I could’a sworn that I was standing behind Biff and his goons for this “Enchantment Under the Sea” photo. I even remember giving him ‘bunny ears’. Now it looks like I wasn’t even there…”
“Wasn’t – Even – There?? Great Scott, Marty- did you remember to destroy that “User’s Manual for Creating Your Own Online Social Networking Website” that you brought back from 2025?”
“Sure, Doc- I threw it into the dumpster behind the drug store…”
“…right where Biff hangs out, trying to steal beer! Marty, has Biff contacted you lately?”
“Yeah, he friended me. I figured, why not?”
“‘Why Not?’- Don’t you see Marty, he’s used the manual to invent MySlacker, YouTools, and BiffsList!…and now he’s gone back to the 50′s and is erasing any evidence of you!”
“Heavy, Doc- whadda we do?”
“”There’s only one thing we can do. We have to travel even farther back in time than Biff, and align the time/space continuum.”
“Well, this time, I’m bringing some food. Want me to go home and grab that leftover roast that my Mom made?”
.
.
.
“”Roast? Where we’re going, we don’t need roast!“
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:37 pm rating: 9
#34
secondsout
A. Are you denying our friendship?
B. No, I would never do so.
A. Lies! Before the cock crows this night, you will have denied our friendship three times.
Methinks A has a bit of a martyr complex.
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: 4
#35
Agent Inspired
Yes, because a “just kidding” after the fact is going to make you look _less_ insecure and petty.
Apr 22, 2008 at 4:12 pm rating: 1
#36
TuesdayPillow
What’s her damage, Heather?
Apr 22, 2008 at 11:31 pm rating: 2
#37
GhostWriter
Under the irritating buzz of yellow florescence, the room looked hazy; nearly smoky. An odor of formaldehyde and rot permeated the dank air. Each breath pulled the stench deeper within her, and yet, she was powerless to leave.
She remembered stepping into Bob’s apartment in trepidation. He had offered her some coffee, and she woke up strapped into an ancient medical birthing chair. Now he approached her with a rusty scalpel.
“You looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship!”
He raised the scalpel to her trembling cheek. “Jokes again!” he sadistically grinned.
Apr 23, 2008 at 10:19 am rating: 7
#38
Beth from Avenue Z
I check here now and then, but this one in particular cracked me up.
Apr 24, 2008 at 9:27 pm rating: 0
#39
Jinx
I bet A was very serious, and VERY hurt, but told B she was kidding so her other facebook friends wouldn;t question her sanity and god forbid remove her pics from their profiles.
Apr 27, 2008 at 10:11 pm rating: 0
#40
RP
It’s entirely possible B really was just kidding. I know someone who likes to fake taking offense as a way of teasing.
But, as has already been said, it’s hard to detect sarcasm over the Internet. Obviously B isn’t sarcastic in real life or A, being their friend, would have been able to tell.
Apr 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm rating: 2
#41
Strepsi
I prefer the triple fakeout:
Your looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship. Jokes, again!…. bitch.
Jun 7, 2008 at 8:46 pm rating: 1
#42 facebook: a place for frenemies | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] related: no offense! (just kidding) no worries! (just kidding) [...]
Sep 19, 2008 at 7:59 am rating: 0
#43
pope suburban
Wow. Like, fucking seriously? I would have to say that yeah, looking nice in a picture would be more important than this particular “friendship,” because anyone doing that is pretty much a waste of time.
Sep 22, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: 0
#44
Nauteaufaire
Hahaha.
C: Status: STOP SENDING ME APP INVITES!
D&E: *send C 37 app invites*
C: Status: thanks you for your time, slut and fatass!
D&E: *”like” C’s status 12 times*
Feb 22, 2009 at 6:27 pm rating: 0
#45
jailbreak wii
I’m very happy Facebook was around when I was in high school…
Jun 13, 2011 at 8:10 am rating: 0
#46 Nobody puts Baby in Dance Detention | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: You looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship! [...]
Aug 16, 2011 at 6:58 pm rating: 0
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