Reason #962 why I’m happy Facebook wasn’t around when I was in high school…
related: 2 good 2b 4gotten
extra credit: Judy “just kidding” Grimes [SNL]
FILED UNDER: Facebook · frenemies · just kidding! · schools & teachers
you denied our friendship! now i’m going to shoot myself! (just kidding!)
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:09 am rating: 26
LOL!!! I too am happy facebook wasn’t around when I was in high school.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:59 pm rating: 6
What do I need to kiss to get my face on your page? Why is your page not all about me just like mine is? You obviously don’t love me as much as I love myself. You are denying our friendship.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:28 am rating: 70
Resident Grammarian esq
I’m about to cry myself to sleep, tee hee just kidding. My repeated use of elipses shows just how difficult this great slight is… lol. I’m cutting my wrists now, but at least you’re pretty… rofl.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: 41
Apr 22, 2008 at 5:00 pm rating: 0
It is just so much easier to press delete!
I’ll show you what I think of your Drama!
Now you can go kill yourself!
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:35 am rating: 1
I’m Hurt. John Hurt. You may know me from such films as The Elephant Man.
Why did you choose the one formal picture which I am not in?
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:38 am rating: 30
A++, would lol again.
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:46 am rating: 5
Maybe if A’s head wasn’t so big, B would be able to see herself in the pictures.
Maybe A is going to cry herself to sleep on her huge pillow.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:41 am rating: 26
It’s like Sputnik on a toothpick…
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:03 am rating: 7
So does that mean A needs to cover her five head?
Apr 22, 2008 at 11:59 am rating: 4
Head! Pants! Now!
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: 1
My oldest son loves that “Head” (Heed) line!!
What was that movie please??!!
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:12 pm rating: 0
Comon CB, So I Married An Axe Murderer…
my fave line in that movie is:
“I’m convinced most scottish food was the result of a dare”
I love me some Mike Myers!!
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:18 pm rating: 2
I know that, Mishee. What was the name of the movie? ROTFL
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:23 pm rating: 6
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:41 pm rating: 0
It just took me a sec to put Mishee’s words into context, GW.
That sec was spent wondering about Mr. Mishee!
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: 2
The line was “I’m convinced most Scottish food is based on a dare…”
Ever try haggis? It’s not bad…
It’s not good, either.
Jul 19, 2008 at 11:36 pm rating: 1
Thank’s…I knew you’d understand.
You were pretty too… ( jokes )
but I am the prettier one so I was just making you look good because I care.
You’re totally my BFF !!
( teasing )
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: 9
Even though A is “VERY” hurt. I think B really
put her where she belongs…..Out of the picture!
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:48 am rating: 5
A is really in DENIAL about how close she
thinks she is with B. I think maybe a facebook
intervention is in order. Just joking…lol
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:52 am rating: 1
I wonder why “The one formal picture” is the only one B is smiling in and the only one A is not in ???
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:58 am rating: 28
This is a great observation, I bet A figured it out too and that is why she is questioning B’s choice of pictures. If A were a confident individual she wouldn’t care if she was in the picture or not.
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:13 am rating: 0
A: I’m really telling you this because I’m terribly insecure and the only way I can feel good about myself is if I appear in everyone’s Facebook profile picture. Because it’s obviously all about me and not you and your profile. Psh. I’m going to go stuff my face with bonbons now. (jokes) [they're actually twinkies]
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:00 am rating: 6
Shouldn’t the last message (12:16pm) be from Person A and not Person B? I can’t make sense of it otherwise.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:03 am rating: 3
I’m with you. Otherwise B is putting -great- words in A’s mouth. ah-ha-ha
Apr 22, 2008 at 4:14 am rating: 0
I’m the submitter. Yes, the last post was by A, not B. Whoops.
Apr 22, 2008 at 11:14 am rating: 2
So tell us, C, if that’s your real name…
Did you give in to the guilt trip and post a picture with A in it?
Apr 22, 2008 at 11:26 am rating: 4
You know, I’d laugh, but this stuff still happens when you’re in your 30s. Facebook: Bringing out the insecure 15 year old in everyone.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:06 am rating: 8
Set To Evil
This reads exactly like Life in Hell’s Akbar and Jeff!
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:35 am rating: 1
I had a roommate like that. He didn’t care what he said, as long as it had the disclaimer, “just kidding,” after a short pause.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:41 am rating: 1
Is “A” emotionally hurt or physically?
She needs to be physically hurt.
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:52 am rating: 6
I’m more concerned that A is under the impression that a friendship can be made or broken because of a choice in Facebook picture.
It’s like people who stop being friends because they’re not included in another person’s Top 8 on MySpace. You know who does that? FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS.
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:48 am rating: 2
I don’t know about that. Some people (see – pisces) take myspace photos and tops -very- seriously.
Sad, isn’t it?
Self worth isn’t sold in stores but you can try to buy it anyway. Poor “A”
Apr 22, 2008 at 4:18 am rating: 0
There are some people out there who have aged chronologically but are mentally stuck in their freshman year of high school. Actually, there are quite a few of them… :/
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:26 am rating: 0
My mom is, and my late wife was, Pisces.
As the last of the 12 Zodiac signs they are the most evolved of personalities, so I respectfully disagree with #17.1.
The Pisces that I have known could give less than two shits what others think of them.
They do what they think is right and don’t judge the actions of others much.
Some people tend to over-generalize…sad isn’t it?
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:09 pm rating: 1
If MySpace and FaceBook had existed back in the 1980s nobody would have written “The Greatest Love of All.”
I decided to be safe
I will never procreate
If have sex ,If I should breed
My kids will have strange emo needs
Apr 22, 2008 at 6:44 am rating: 2
This pretty much sums up what the social networking sites eventually degenerate to. It’s no longer about networking or connecting. It’s about getting my face on everyone’s site, collecting the most friends and then ignoring them because who can keep up with 300 “friends,” especially when you are busy monitoring who isn’t putting your face on their site.
Apr 22, 2008 at 7:36 am rating: 8
You know what? This exact thing happened when I (A) checked in on my wife Shanikqua’s (B) FaceBook. The “formal” pic she chose was her in a cocktail dress, holding two drunk bozos in twin headlocks under her twin headlights (set for fog).
She did look pretty; I’ll give her that…
Apr 22, 2008 at 8:11 am rating: 8
Ahhh, teenage drama. OMG I am SOOOO hurt. I want to kill you! Jokes!
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:01 am rating: 0
I’m thinking A should’ve just put her comments in quotes – then B would’ve known she was being sarcastic.
Ahhh, webspeak is wonderful, isn’t it?
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:02 am rating: 1
You make me so “angry”!
I want to “stab” you in the “face” with a “rusty putty knife”!
I hope you “burn in hell” and get “crabs”. Because you’re a “stinking whore”!
I “had sex” with your “boyfriend” and now I’m “pregnant” but I’m going to say the “your father” came to my house and “raped” me and that the “baby” is “his”.
Then your “mother” will “kill herself” and you’ll have to be a “hooker” so you can take care of your “brother”. Then your “pimp” will “cut” your “tits” off and “shove a broken bottle” up your “vagina” and you’ll “die”.
ps. “White POWER!!!”
pss. I hate “the blacks” and “the jews”
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:30 am rating: 18
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:50 am rating: 4
I love you.
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:57 am rating: 3
Yeah, but I’m still not posting your picture.
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:21 am rating: 7
well… then… I hope you get a “flesh eating bacteria” and your albino python falls off!!
p.s. I just clicked your blog, and now that I know Dogma is in your top 5 listed Fave Movies, I know we were meant to be!! that, and the lead paint entry…
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:25 am rating: 0
I always cry at web-weddings!!
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:17 pm rating: 0
well, I might need to get a IRL divorce first! Plus, I don’t know if it would work out… I am very into staying where I am (That would be the South San Francisco Bay Area for those who aren’t aware), and claw just seems to LOVE Ohio as evidenced here…
Apr 22, 2008 at 5:14 pm rating: 0
It’s intriguing but alas, one woman can’t seem to keep me satisfied…or maybe it’s the other way around…nevertheless, I’ve got to be free. There are lunches to pilfer and daughters to plunder.
Ohio’s working out for me now because the age of consent is in my favor and people from Columbus are the eatingest basatards you’ll ever see. The office kitchen is like a frigging Trader Joe’s. I know, Kentucky’s age of consent is 13 and they have rivers of KFC flowing through every town but I like girls with teeth and there’s something special about a lunch somebody else was planning to eat.
Apr 22, 2008 at 5:35 pm rating: 3
Claw, I can guarantee you, according to 9 years with Mr. Mishee, that I am not just one woman – in his opinion, I am in fact about 5 or 6 distinctly different personalties residing within one form.. so that whould keep you on your toes, wondering which girl I was gonna be today!!!
Apr 22, 2008 at 5:54 pm rating: 0
Checking the timestamps, it would appear that the most sleep was lost by B, as she anxiously generated the line, “It’s the only pic of me smiling…” Ten hours ofhang-wringing, and that’s the best you can come up with? What about, “Back off, Creeper- since when do we have a friendship?”
That’s the one I get most of the time…
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:14 am rating: 2
Or maybe B went out with some of her non-denied friends and I dunno . . . had a life?
Apr 22, 2008 at 11:19 am rating: 5
As I read this note I have a soundtrack playing in my head. I couldn’t place it at first but I think it’ s The Cure.
Whenever I’m Facebooking you
I feel like I’m on probation
Whenever I’m facebooking you
It’s like another violation
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: 2
Or maybe B could of said something like; My mother wasn’t in the picture either, you don’t see her asking if I’m denying her paternity!
Jeeze Louise….Grow up and get a life.
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:41 am rating: 1
I strongly deny my mother’s paternity. That would make her my father!
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:45 am rating: 17
Unless Eric Cartman is B. Though Cartman is far more aggressive than PA. After all, he’s the guy whose revenge involved killing the other kid’s parents and serving them to him in a pot of chili.
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:23 pm rating: 0
Way too much Maury Povich Show exposure.
I may have missed the “My mom the hermaphrodite” episode though.
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:22 pm rating: 1
You should never try to make jokes online. They get lost unless you put a smily face. A missed out on that lesson.
<- how to tell someone isn’t serious.
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:45 am rating: 1
This is a serious syntax question:
What if you include sarcastic quotes around phrases like just kidding?
“No worries, just teasing.” Apparently I’m not important to you. “JOKES!”
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:53 am rating: 1
Gee, I want to hunt down and hurt people who put my picture on their networking page.
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:12 am rating: 3
OMG! How did this end up here?
OK, let’s get the back story on this. A bunch of us went to the Spring Formal here at Sweet Valley High. My BFF, A, booked a limo so we could all go in style but it never showed up. So I hitched a ride on a logging truck and got to the dance but I smelled like Newports.
Then A, ignored me the whole time. I saw all of them taking a group picture so I had to run over there and get in. They took one picture without me.
We all hung out for a while but then they all left without me. So I didn’t even get to ride in the limo I chipped in for.
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:13 am rating: 6
That’s not true. It’s just that the limo driver was drinking and we didn’t want to put you in harm’s way.
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:15 am rating: 4
Oh yeah, well I’ve got a Glock that will put you in harm’s way. JOKES!
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:17 am rating: 5
On your Facebook blog
Where am I
I thought I was your friend
I think I’ve had enough
of your crap, so it’s the end
You’re such a stupid HO
you went and made me cry
and everybody hurts
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:32 am rating: 0
And all of us are reason#963 why I’m glad facebook wasn’t around in high school…or college…or early 20′s drunken benders.
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:52 pm rating: 0
QC, when I was in HS we had something kind of LIKE face book, but a little more aggressive and a little less passive – for instance, if some bitch started talking shit about me, I would hit her across the face with my algebra book!
Ahhh, the 90s… it’s like it was another world altogether!
I remember cause I was a chatter on AOL and Prodigy at the time, I was actually considered a computer nerd by some… cause I knew about this crazy thing called the internet that no one else seemed to understand! ha! jokes on you!!
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:11 pm rating: 1
The 90′s? Try the dark days of the 70′s in catholic high school. I guess they would have called facebook “knuckleruler.”
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
Mishee, in the 90′s you went to an all black college with Sinbad as the Dorm father? … Wait! That is “A Different World” … never mind, carry on.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:46 pm rating: 1
ugh, I am graduating class of 1998, I couldn’t have gone to college in the 90′s if I wanted to! (well, possibly, but… nevermind…)
I was in h.s. from 94-98 (ok, ’02, but that’s just ME)… I literally left mainstream h.s. like, a year before Columbine, which of course is when shit in H.S. across the country changed… thank God!!
(how weird I mention that, cause Columbine was 9 years and 2 days ago… huh…)
Maybe if those kids had facebook and myspace to vent on, they wouldn’t have gone off the deep end… also, I am a big supporter of “Go Through Your Kid’s Shit” cause God knows the kinda stuff my mom would’ve found if she had searched my room every so often!!
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:53 pm rating: 0
Why am I craving Geritol?
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:18 pm rating: 1
There’s only one thing that could have stopped Columbine, and it’s not FaceBook, and it’s not MySpace.
It’s Dr. Phil.
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:46 pm rating: 0
“A” needs to learn to how to negate her comments in a sneakier way than “Jokes!”
It’s become a great art at my workplace:
You *actually* did a good job on that report.
*Apparently* the people in finance like you.
I *seriously* wish I could promote you.
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:06 pm rating: 4
Mep: do we work together?
Apr 22, 2008 at 1:37 pm rating: 4
“Hey, Doc- check out this picture. I could’a sworn that I was standing behind Biff and his goons for this “Enchantment Under the Sea” photo. I even remember giving him ‘bunny ears’. Now it looks like I wasn’t even there…”
“Wasn’t – Even – There?? Great Scott, Marty- did you remember to destroy that “User’s Manual for Creating Your Own Online Social Networking Website” that you brought back from 2025?”
“Sure, Doc- I threw it into the dumpster behind the drug store…”
“…right where Biff hangs out, trying to steal beer! Marty, has Biff contacted you lately?”
“Yeah, he friended me. I figured, why not?”
“‘Why Not?’- Don’t you see Marty, he’s used the manual to invent MySlacker, YouTools, and BiffsList!…and now he’s gone back to the 50′s and is erasing any evidence of you!”
“Heavy, Doc- whadda we do?”
“”There’s only one thing we can do. We have to travel even farther back in time than Biff, and align the time/space continuum.”
“Well, this time, I’m bringing some food. Want me to go home and grab that leftover roast that my Mom made?”
“”Roast? Where we’re going, we don’t need roast!“
Apr 22, 2008 at 2:37 pm rating: 9
A. Are you denying our friendship?
B. No, I would never do so.
A. Lies! Before the cock crows this night, you will have denied our friendship three times.
Methinks A has a bit of a martyr complex.
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: 4
Apr 22, 2008 at 3:34 pm rating: 1
Yes, because a “just kidding” after the fact is going to make you look _less_ insecure and petty.
Apr 22, 2008 at 4:12 pm rating: 1
What’s her damage, Heather?
Apr 22, 2008 at 11:31 pm rating: 2
Under the irritating buzz of yellow florescence, the room looked hazy; nearly smoky. An odor of formaldehyde and rot permeated the dank air. Each breath pulled the stench deeper within her, and yet, she was powerless to leave.
She remembered stepping into Bob’s apartment in trepidation. He had offered her some coffee, and she woke up strapped into an ancient medical birthing chair. Now he approached her with a rusty scalpel.
“You looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship!”
He raised the scalpel to her trembling cheek. “Jokes again!” he sadistically grinned.
Apr 23, 2008 at 10:19 am rating: 7
Beth from Avenue Z
I check here now and then, but this one in particular cracked me up.
Apr 24, 2008 at 9:27 pm rating: 0
I bet A was very serious, and VERY hurt, but told B she was kidding so her other facebook friends wouldn;t question her sanity and god forbid remove her pics from their profiles.
Apr 27, 2008 at 10:11 pm rating: 0
It’s entirely possible B really was just kidding. I know someone who likes to fake taking offense as a way of teasing.
But, as has already been said, it’s hard to detect sarcasm over the Internet. Obviously B isn’t sarcastic in real life or A, being their friend, would have been able to tell.
Apr 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm rating: 2
Uh, RP? That’s actually passive-aggressive. That “teasing” is your acquaintance’s way of stating his/her anger without having to be held accountable for it. “I was only teasing!”
Apr 29, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 1
God, I thought I was the only one who thought this. She obviously didn’t express it very well, but her intention may not have been to be passive-aggressive at all.
Either way, she’s probably an insecure teenage girl, all this hatred seems kind of unnecessary to me.
Aug 17, 2011 at 2:26 am rating: 0
I prefer the triple fakeout:
Your looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship. Jokes, again!…. bitch.
Jun 7, 2008 at 8:46 pm rating: 1
facebook: a place for frenemies | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] related: no offense! (just kidding) no worries! (just kidding) [...]
Sep 19, 2008 at 7:59 am rating: 0
Wow. Like, fucking seriously? I would have to say that yeah, looking nice in a picture would be more important than this particular “friendship,” because anyone doing that is pretty much a waste of time.
Sep 22, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: 0
C: Status: STOP SENDING ME APP INVITES!
D&E: *send C 37 app invites*
C: Status: thanks you for your time, slut and fatass!
D&E: *”like” C’s status 12 times*
Feb 22, 2009 at 6:27 pm rating: 0
I’m very happy Facebook was around when I was in high school…
Jun 13, 2011 at 8:10 am rating: 0
Nobody puts Baby in Dance Detention | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: You looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship! [...]
Aug 16, 2011 at 6:58 pm rating: 0
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