ellen in san francisco says this note is but the latest development in what has become a toilet paper-thin relationship with her passive-aggressive roommate. it started two months ago, she says, when her roommate “decided after six months of sharing that i was no longer allowed to use her toilet paper. i should mention that she never once asked me to chip in for toilet paper, and i never really had an opportunity to buy more because she bought it in bulk and we always had a huge supply.”
ellen obliged “until this morning, when nature called and i had just run out.” when ellen got home, this work of art (my favorite line: “now that we’ve settled this”) was waiting for her.
adds ellen: “funnier still is that this roommate freaked out on another roommate for leaving a note. she yelled at her, ‘if you have a problem with me, talk to me, don’t leave me a note. be an adult about it.’ nice to see she followed her own advice.
reddit!
stumble it!
121 responses so far ↓
#1 Quite Contrary
Really? It’s settled? I think not.
Apr 30, 2008 at 9:59 pm rating: 0
#2 Quite Contrary
What needs to be cleaned is the author’s head when it comes out of her ass. I really don’t think that Ellen should have to do that.
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: +2
#3 Quite Contrary
My version of Ellen’s roommate was Laura. Not only did Laura leave me notes about the condition of the cat box (under the pseudonym of the cat of course), she had very strict rules about what what was communal food (nothing) and what was her food (everything). We also had the same “chat” about what needed to be cleaned upon move out. She expected me to clean, and paint, even though she was the one moving out….with a week’s notice. Would it shock you to hear we no longer keep in touch?
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:06 pm rating: 0
#4 The Great Joe Bivins
This note should be made into a Lifetime original film.
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:08 pm rating: +2
#5 anglophile
It makes me sad to think of the tree that gave its life for the unnecessary second page. A simple font size change could have saved it.
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:13 pm rating: +3
#6 Sheepish
It feels like she’s talking to someone as she’s writing and inserting the other side of the conversation on her own.
“Obviously nothing is settled yet bitch, you wrote me a note.
I’ll read it and then write my own note in reply but mine will have clip art.
Also, I’ll choose a font size that will allow me to put everything one one page.
So there.”
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:16 pm rating: +1
#7 galileosfinger
What makes this really passive-aggressive is the smiley at the end. WTF?
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:27 pm rating: +2
#8 unholyghost2003
Back in MY college days NO ONE paid for TP. Know how we bought it (when we were not stealing it from the classroom buildings and the dorms)? Bottle returns from hosting parties with the underage. Not only could we keep the change from their booze but they had no way of returning their empties. Sad to think a great roommate relationship was ruined by a lack of parties.
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:33 pm rating: +1
#9 morpho aurora
oh my god, what a moronic psycho-bitch. first off, who begrudges someone toilet paper? and second if the writer is that worried about someone else using up her TP, why not just keep it locked away?
ellen and the other roommate should get together and give ms. smiley face something special on move out day.
btw, she didn’t say it, she typed it.
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:35 pm rating: 0
#10 se
she never asked you to “chip in for the toilet paper”? what, you think toilet paper grows on trees? oh wait, it does…
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:36 pm rating: +2
#11 karin
why is bulk tp becoming an issue? At most, it’s going to cost you $10/semester if you go A LOT! In my college apt, one roommate bought her plush but non-dusty tp, I bought the name brand paper towels and our third bought a 6 pack per week (2 beers or ciders per week per roommate - not a lot but we all (a) were geeks, 2 science and 1 computer and (b) supplemented with something a bit harder mixed with something fruity).
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:43 pm rating: 0
#12 Ben
Yet another note that could be made stronger with the use of the C-word.
Apr 30, 2008 at 10:58 pm rating: +1
#13 amazon
How does she know her TP has been used? Does she count the sheets left? Leave a little mark where she left off?
Unless Ellen used a TON, how can psychobitchroommate tell the difference?
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:10 pm rating: +1
#14 TuesdayPillow
The man who eventually marries this woman should see this note prior to their wedding day.
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:12 pm rating: +2
#15 Ross
Actually I think the note was pretty funny in its own self-absorbed kind of way. And submitter should have at least offered to chip in on the TP supply! That shit gets expensive.
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:14 pm rating: +2
#16 Melanie
God, I just do not even miss having roommates.
If the TP is that big an issue, at least be clever about it and leave a big pickle jar out marked TiP Jar. At least you’d get your point across without being a psycho bitch about it. Or, here’s a thought — be a grownup and use your words.
And what is all that shit hanging off the towel rack in the background? People! Pick up after yourselves!
(Clearly I’ve moved from the roommate phase to the mommy phase.)
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:16 pm rating: 0
#17 Crash
Ellen : “Oh ! You’re moving, how nice…Can you leave some toilet paper on your way out too…? Thanks”
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:17 pm rating: +1
#18 Sarah
Simple solution for Ellen: don’t use toilet paper. Her roommate will never have to complain again!.
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:19 pm rating: 0
#19 Ryan
I wonder what the note’s author charges guests who use the bathroom for toilet paper? Do they get to take the roll in with them? What if the guest is wasteful with the TP….? Is there an “up-charge” - ?
I would pay this person back in toilet paper.
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:26 pm rating: +1
#20 fantasy
Since they both know she uses toilet paper she
can’t play her ace in the hole!
Apr 30, 2008 at 11:42 pm rating: +2
#21 Akita
Wow, wow, Ellen!!!! I got info of this earlier in the day and was just like wtf? Angel(is that her name? haha) needs to grow a life!
May 1, 2008 at 12:09 am rating: +1
#22 Canthz_B
Obviously a Foghorn Leghorn fan…“I keep my bathroom tissue sheets numbered for just such an emergency!”
True artistry indeed, to be OC and PA about TP at the same time!
May 1, 2008 at 1:26 am rating: +2
#23 LeishBlog
People like this should be put on a rocket and sent to another universe where they can create their own anally retentive world away from the rest of us.
I love that she put a smiley face at the end. What a mentalist.
May 1, 2008 at 1:27 am rating: 0
#24 paranoiagirl
Why the hell would she wait six months to finally make her toilet paper “officially” off limits? Ugh, people are crazy.
May 1, 2008 at 1:38 am rating: 0
#25 Jinx
I like how she assumes her roommate will in some way be shocked by this. “Oh yes I said it!” I assume this is just one of the many “joys” of living with her and the roommate is no way shocked. I love how she ended with a smiley face. Just shows how stable she seems to be.
May 1, 2008 at 1:49 am rating: +1
#26 Jinx
I also secretly hope this get taken to a tv court. Just because I’d like to see what a person who wrote this looks like.
May 1, 2008 at 1:51 am rating: +2
#27 Nerdyradiogirl
Ellen should point out how much toilet paper could have been made in exchange for this ranty letter! Also when she moves out, she should take all the T.P. with her.
May 1, 2008 at 2:17 am rating: 0
#28 Nerdyradiogirl