The hair-on-the-wall problem

May 2nd, 2008 · 75 comments

This note was posted in the girls’ toilets at a college dorm in Canberra, Australia.

ATTENTION: NO MORE APPLYING HAIR ON THE WALL CRAP! IT'S SIMPLY DISGUSTING AND CREEPY! OK, DON'T THINK YOU CAN FOOL ANYONE BY PUTTING YOUR HAI ALONG THE BLACK TILES NOW. T'S A FUCKING SHOWER, WHICH MEANS THE WATER IS RUNNING. WASH IT DOWN! YOUR MOM'S NOT HERE TO CLEAN FOR YOU.

Later, this note was slipped under the doors of everyone on the floor.

(Click to enlarge!)

one toilet for 26 people

related: Losing Lisa

FILED UNDER: Australia · bathroom · Canberra · college life · hair · RA · shower · that's disgusting · Your mother doesn't...


75 responses so far ↓

  • #1   gingerE

    One toilet for 26 people? What happened to dressing room stalls?

    May 2, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   amazon bang

      Or the gym shower

      May 3, 2008 at 3:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Joe

      Or the post office trash can?

      May 3, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   gingerE

    When you use your roomie’s washcloth as toilet paper, it is rude to place it into the toilet. Next time return washcloth promptly.

    May 2, 2008 at 8:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Resident Grammarian esq bang

    Who the hell is Matt? Isn’t this a girls’ toilet? What’s creepy is this guy (probably middle aged with a hunchback) mooning around in a girls’ toilet. And I thought voyeurism was on a decline.

    May 2, 2008 at 8:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Djinn

    I can’t believe she actually added “Your Mom’s not here to clean for you.” Classic!

    May 2, 2008 at 8:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   amazon bang

      at least matt wrote “mother/father,” very progressive of him!

      May 3, 2008 at 3:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Louisa

    It’s embarrassing when foreigners have to come to our country to remind us to be clean (as indicated by the ‘mom’)…eeew.
    I love the way that rather than comply with the request not to leave hairs (totally reasonable IMO) the grot-monger started to do stealth drops by camouflaging them on the black tiles. It’s like a compulsion, or a defiant child. Hilarious!

    May 2, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   secondsout bang

    Black hair on the wall? Could it be? The long-awaited return of… ROCKET PUBES!!

    May 2, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   RunBarbara bang

      To the tune of “Rocket Man”…(I hope no one’s done this, I didn’t bother to check…)
      I took a shower last night pre-sleep
      Have to get up at nine a.m.
      And I’m so dirty I could weep
      I need to wash my face, I need to shave
      I step in the stall, what do I see?
      Look there on the wall, a curly hair

      And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
      Till I found out who’s crotch that shot out from
      It’s not the hair you think you’d find on your head
      Oh no no no it’s a rocket pube!
      Rocket pube hanging out on the tile alone

      May 2, 2008 at 10:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   secondsout bang

    Matt – 3rd cousin to Anytime Stan.

    May 2, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   bellabeastie

      I got clued into Anytime Stan… He’s Da Man…

      Puking in the elevators, pubes on the wall.

      Team He’s The One To Call To Clean Up All

      May 2, 2008 at 11:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   secondsout bang

    By hand towel, does Matt mean paper towels, or a small terrycloth towel?

    May 2, 2008 at 8:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   ec

      paper towels. i don’t know why people do that. where do they come from?!

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   secondsout bang

    Can you imagine calling your parents to explain why you have just been expelled from college. “Um, Mom, I got kicked out for flushing a towel down the toilet. Yeah, the Man’s out to get me.”

    May 2, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

    I would like to ask everyone not to use my drawings for their PANs….seriously…I had to come back to life for this.

    May 2, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   secondsout bang

    I want to know what’s written in parentheses under the word “Attention.”

    May 2, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   DirtyOldLady bang

      Looks to me like it says “ATTENTION (you know who you are).” :D

      May 2, 2008 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Sarah bang

      At least they didn’t CC Jonathan. (or the dead-tree equivalent.)

      May 2, 2008 at 9:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Wait! I was told that the blue bin is for pornography only!
    Can I use hand towels in the urinal?

    May 2, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   secondsout bang

      Just so long as you don’t puke in the urinal.

      May 2, 2008 at 8:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   secondsout bang

    Dear South-4 Residents,

    I’m not here to wipe your dirty butts.

    Regards,
    Matt

    May 2, 2008 at 8:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Sofar

    Don’t people do that to keep the hair from washing down the drain in which it will cause a nasty clog?

    May 2, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   poochie bang

      Maybe YOU do…

      May 3, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   theywentwild

      yeah, but you gotta remember to dispose of it afterwards!

      May 8, 2008 at 5:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   summer

    black hair hides on black tiles, blonde on the white, you reds and browns must wash it doooown. I fucking love the drawing of the nasty black hair on the wall, he is so angry!

    May 2, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   secondsout bang

      I think that’s the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He’s everywhere.

      -Ramen.

      May 2, 2008 at 9:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   anglophile bang

      Pastafarians Unite!

      In the shower!

      May 3, 2008 at 6:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   grumpygranolagirl

      May his noodle-y appendage touch you.

      Preferably not in the shower.

      Arg!

      May 3, 2008 at 9:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Sarah bang

    At least it’s better than applying crap-on-the-wall hair.

    May 2, 2008 at 9:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   summer

    what is the adhesive?

    May 2, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Make sure your crabs go down the drain sideways.

    May 2, 2008 at 9:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    Come on. Everyone knows water runs up down under! :-P

    May 2, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   bellabeastie

      Water runs Up Down Under What?

      Confused. As usual. :)

      PS. Crabs usually go sideways. Up North. I think.

      Anyway.

      May 2, 2008 at 11:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   bellabeastie

      You make me laugh, CB !!

      May 2, 2008 at 11:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   RunBarbara bang

    Here is what Ive taken away from this:
    1. Flush your hairs down the toilet
    2. Vomit in the blue bin (not the dressing room)
    3. Use newspapers to wipe and then see Matt to do the flush
    4. Pubes=spaghetti
    5. You can add a “u” to almost any wourd to make it look impressive.

    May 2, 2008 at 10:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   bellabeastie

      Wourd Up.

      May 2, 2008 at 11:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Nina

    Wow! That note makes me proud to be Australian! :D

    May 2, 2008 at 10:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   park rose bang

      Whoever wrote the second purple and blue note, though (was it Matt?), is not Australian, as pointed out by Louisa @ comment 5 (unelss the spelling of mum/mom is a bit obscured).

      So, Nina, which aspect are you proud of? The other notes (which might have been written by an Aussie), or the hair leaving skills, or the ability to block toilets with what I think are handpaper towels? Or maybe just basic Aussie shit-stirring skills, which is something that bothers Matt a lot, obviously. :)

      As a fellow Aussie, I’m curious… :P

      On a general note, Canberra is also the political centre of Oz. I’m sure that can be worked into the discussion somehow…

      May 2, 2008 at 11:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    I don’t think I’ll comment much on this one. I don’t want to inadvertently offend any Australians. I’m tired of being misunderstood. :-D

    May 2, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   park rose bang

      You’re just a soul whose intentions are good ;)

      May 2, 2008 at 11:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Canthz_B bang

      What is the road to Hell paved with again? :shock:

      May 3, 2008 at 2:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Craig

      Please, everybody knows the Road To Hell is frozen over. The little ones go skating on it at the weekends..

      May 3, 2008 at 3:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Chris Rea

      I agree, Hell HAS frozen over if CanB is finally tired of pissing people off. Huzzah! Hallelujah! And such.

      Although, it’s likely just a dream…

      May 3, 2008 at 4:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   Canthz_B bang

      I’m not tired of pissing people off, just tired of slow-witted people getting pissed off.
      See: difference between pissing off and misunderstood. :-|

      If you don’t understand me it’s your fault.”
      –Earth, Wind and Fire

      May 3, 2008 at 1:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   Lorrie

      Sage.

      May 3, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   TuesdayPillow

      The road to hell is paved with hand towels and hair.

      May 3, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   Canthz_B bang

      That’s why it is a slippery slope.

      May 4, 2008 at 12:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   Mishee bang

      CB, just remember there are many snakes on this plane… and only you can help us! :D

      My hero!

      (jokes!) haha

      May 4, 2008 at 3:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   Canthz_B bang

      snakes me kill dead, yes master?

      May 4, 2008 at 5:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   se

    this is what happens when the TP buyer moves out.

    May 2, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   summer

    the picture he drew of the hair looks more like a spider vein, actually. eew, no spider veins on the walls any more, NO MORE!

    May 2, 2008 at 11:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   se

    maybe Matt is the guy who planted the hidden camera and someone keeps covering the lens with hair.

    May 2, 2008 at 11:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Emily

    ok. seeing as how this is a hall of 25+ people, this isn’t passive at all. And this sounds downright disgusting. where the fuck are these people? i’ve never known of anyone (fully physically and mentally functioning) to do anything remotely like this…fucking gross.

    May 3, 2008 at 1:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   summer

    I know people who put hair on the wall, if you have long hair it comes out in the shower and tangles in your fingers, if you wipe it on the wall it comes off. Black hair is nasty no matter where it is if you ask me, though I know you didn’t. :-D

    May 3, 2008 at 9:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Sarah bang

      …even if it’s on someone’s head?

      May 3, 2008 at 5:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Canthz_B bang

      I’m just hoping that that one did not come out the way it was intended, #27. Lots of people have black hair, you pretty much offended all of Japan with that one. :???:

      May 3, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   NoPunIntended bang

    I’ve got some hair to spare…
    I think I’m gonna hide it on the black square!
    ‘Cause I just don’t care.

    May 3, 2008 at 9:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Socratic Method

    Is it passive-aggressive of you to put a up a tiny, unreadable image, with a “click to enlarge” link that enlarges NOTHING? Every single day? On Flickr’s javascript gulag that obsoletes tools like “save image as” and “zoom in”?

    May 3, 2008 at 1:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Wade bang

      um, zoom in will enlarge the picture.

      i guess the caption could read “click on the image to go the site where, by applying a modicum of common sense, you can click on the ‘all sizes’ icon (a magnifying glass) above the image and see it in a larger size”

      would that be less passive-aggressive?

      May 3, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   anglophile bang

      I’m pretty sure using the phrase “applying a modicum of common sense” ramps up the passive-aggressiveness of any statement, Wade.

      May 4, 2008 at 12:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Wade bang

      Point taken. :D

      May 4, 2008 at 7:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Canthz_B bang

    …And all this time I thought that when I left a mess in the toilet I was supposed to flush! Who knew I was supposed to manually clean the facilities?!
    Then again, it is Canberra and politicians can put a lot of excrement into any system.

    May 3, 2008 at 6:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Lorrie

    A haiku:

    Head, chest, knuckle hair
    in the shower, in my food
    Has become a pube.

    May 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Canthz_B bang

    Haiku smitten:

    Gross hair on the walls.
    How crude can you people be?
    This I stand against.

    May 4, 2008 at 12:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Mishee bang

    I have nothing to say, as I do the same exact thing.

    “Wash it down”??

    Apparently this person’s mother has always cleaned the hair out of their drain, because it doesn’t sound like this person has personal experience in the matter, otherwise they might understand why people put it on the wall.

    May 4, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Canthz_B bang

    Grow your hair, kill a barber!
    Screw them and their hypno-poles!!

    May 4, 2008 at 5:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   NoAddedMSG

    Hah, it’s my old college, I would recognise those tiles anywhere, plus the South 4 bit in the letter gives it away….. for those wondering, Matt would be the SR for the floor ie person everyone complains to, and who has the job of writing long letters about stuff to the ressies. The paper towels were always an issue there… they are these heavy duty things which are outside the toilets, for drying your hands with, then putting in the handily placed bin next to the sink. I could never fathom why people tried to flush them because they don’t disintegrate in water like toilet paper does. That, and there is a bin there to put them in. Half the college are international students, so the Mom thing is not really that surprising.

    May 4, 2008 at 7:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   marcopuffin bang

    I’m thinking, hair removal cream in their shampoo? Oh no, then it’d all fall out, causing a deep carpet of black hair to spread throughout bathroom.

    May 4, 2008 at 8:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   TuesdayPillow

    I admit to being a hair sculpture artist but it’s not too hard to take a bit of tp, gather the stuff off the wall while it’s still wet, and throw it in the toilet.
    Maybe people were doing that with the HAND TOWELS?!?

    May 4, 2008 at 11:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Katzndogz bang

    It’s a good thing he referenced the “floor” nine times in that note, or I might be lead to think he’s talking about some other residence.

    May 5, 2008 at 10:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   matt

    I am the Matt that wrote that Letter, hilarious it has found its way to the Internet

    May 7, 2008 at 7:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Jo Mama bang

    The second note is what clinches it for me. I love the sentence “Ok, don’t think you can fool anyone by putting your hair along the black tiles now.” I fell over laughing. That’s sheer brilliance.

    May 18, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   curious

    Hello Matt! So did it ever stop? LOL

    May 18, 2008 at 3:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   BABIES????????? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower [...]

    Apr 10, 2011 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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