perverse and often baffling

May 6th, 2008 · 116 comments

you decide! which clip art catastrophe raises the most new and troubling questions in your mind?

is it exhibit a, from new york’s west village?

(think about the designer’s thought process here for a moment. why the sunglasses? and not just any shades…but electric blue sunglasses? ditto, the sunflower.)

exhibit b, from a casino in cambodia?

(does no crossed out mean…yes?)

or exhibit c, from a pharmacy in berlin?

(trust me: speaking german is no help here.)

if you can’t decide, remember that your first instinct is usually the best choice (um, except when it’s not).

related: clip art crimes

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Tags: berlin · cambodia · clip art catastrophe · dogs · german · new york · you be the judge

116 responses so far ↓

#1 Quite Contrary

Please please please. No more clip art!

May 6, 2008 at 9:13 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #1.1 zombieBlanco
  
  Oder:
  
  Bitte bitte bitte. Nicht mehr Clipart!
  
  May 7, 2008 at 1:03 am rating: +1
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#2 Sarah

No pasty people in boxing gloves and swimsuits mooning people? What?

May 6, 2008 at 9:15 pm rating: 0

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- #2.1 Joe
  
  No publicly urinating into the wind. Please, people. It’s just not sanitary.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 8:39 am rating: 0
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#3 Wade

I am most troubled by the cat upkilting the scottish terrier.

May 6, 2008 at 9:19 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #3.1 Joe
  
  Well he is well-hung…wait, is that supposed to be his other foot, or his masculinity blocking it?
  
  May 7, 2008 at 8:41 am rating: +1
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#4 Canthz_B

No shooting dogs and cats?
No ice-skating backwards?

May 6, 2008 at 9:21 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #4.1 Crash
  
  Or is it…
  No taking pictures or video of dog’s and cat’s shooting eachother…?
  
  …
  
  May 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm rating: 0
- #4.2 se
  
  no fast women?
  
  May 6, 2008 at 10:36 pm rating: +1
- #4.3 zombieBlanco
  
  fast? I thought she was ~~farting~~ passing gas.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 1:05 am rating: 0
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#5 zchamu

No shooting cameras? WTF?

I think the dog just came from a 3D movie.

May 6, 2008 at 9:21 pm rating: 0

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- #5.1 secondsout
  
  Except they didn’t give him the red half of the glasses. I guess when you’re colorblind, it’s not as important.
  
  May 6, 2008 at 10:05 pm rating: +1
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#6 RunBarbara

No Arabs.
No dancing Black business men.
No aerobics instructors.
No dogs in 3D movie glasses.

May 6, 2008 at 9:24 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #6.1 GhostWriter
  
  They’ve banned Sammy Davis, Jr.?
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:05 am rating: +1
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#7 Wade

Really?

Ramadan vitamins?

wow.

May 6, 2008 at 9:24 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #7.1 Canthz_B
  
  Or condoms…??
  
  May 6, 2008 at 9:30 pm rating: 0
- #7.2 Mishee
  
  Dammit CB - I was gonna totally say that the last one seems like an ad for condoms, possibly with the key demographic being rich Saudi oil barons who like to exercise.
  
  May 6, 2008 at 11:08 pm rating: +3
- #7.3 soulofaqua
  
  Well I believe the last one is a sign implying that you should take vitamins while you participate Ramadan a muslim tradition to faste for a month or so(well they call it faste but they still eat before dusk and after dawn) but the exception of eating during the day is not the only exception it also is to not have intercourse, not drink alcoholics or to smoke. thus it can’t really be a condom ad. because the muslims are not allowed to have intercourse during Ramadan(atleast those who participate)
  BTW. I’m no muslim but when you’re country is overrun by them…
  
  May 7, 2008 at 3:26 am rating: 0
- #7.4 amazon
  
  (so I was debating whether or not to tear into this post since making fun of a non-English speaker isn’t very sporting, but if you’re going to end your comment in a racist remark, then all bets are off)
  
  So how does one drink an alcoholic?
  
  (hmm… after all the build up, that was the best I could come up with?)
  
  May 7, 2008 at 1:40 pm rating: +1
- #7.5 unholyghost2003
  
  silly amazon, you drink alcoholics by putting them in the blender first!
  
  mmm My Grandma-tini is DELICIOUS!
  
  May 7, 2008 at 2:02 pm rating: +2
- #7.6 soulofaqua
  
  To the amazon making fun of me. No worries about making fun of my english it’s a learning point and you’re most certainly not the worst out there. but though I am non-English I was not speaking, I was typing.
  Now about the subject of drinking alcoholics I was unsure if this was correct but to lazy to say alcoholic beverages, now that I know alcoholics is not a synonym to the afor mentioned you won’t see that mistake any longer from me.
  Then finally about the racist remark in the end, I tried to make it more witty but couldn’t come up with something thus I just planted it like this. I don’t hate the muslims other than I am annoyed by the tendency from some to not adapt to the dominant culture. Infact my stepgrandfather is muslim and I love him(in a nonsexual way(perv)).
  
  May 7, 2008 at 4:20 pm rating: 0
- #7.7 unholyghost2003
  
  An earnest attempt to help you soulofaqua.
  
  A few synonyms for Alcoholic Beverages: Alcohol, booze, liquor
  
  Alcoholics are people who are addicted to alcohol.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 4:26 pm rating: 0
- #7.8 Canthz_B
  
  Damn. It’s just a silly square box joke. *sigh*
  
  May 7, 2008 at 6:25 pm rating: 0
- #7.9 tinkerbell2
  
  And to help soulofaqua further - if you don’t want to sound racist, best not use ‘overrun’. It has implications of vermin. Even if some of your best friends *are* Muslim. Oh, wait, no, some of your extended family. But not a blood relative. Glad we cleared that up.
  
  May 8, 2008 at 7:52 am rating: 0
- #7.10 soulofaqua
  
  Wow what a helpfull community!
  May I thank y’all for the support and hope I’ll never get so confused by reactions.
  
  May 8, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: 0
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#8 Canthz_B

The sign by the West Village Idiot would have made more sense had she actually planted flowers. I can’t really blame her though, after all, a tree grows in Brooklyn!

May 6, 2008 at 9:25 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #8.1 soulofaqua
  
  If you look carefully at the picture you can infact see some flowers that are not yet blooming, there ain’t much but there infact are flowers.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 3:27 am rating: +1
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#9 RunBarbara

Please don’t let your dogs attend Captain Eo.

May 6, 2008 at 9:27 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #9.1 GhostWriter
  
  “Captain Eo” left the Magic Eye Theater back in 1997. A more topical reference would be “Philharmagic“
  
  May 7, 2008 at 12:26 pm rating: 0
- #9.2 RunBarbara
  
  Silly me. I need to send that joke back to 1997 in my time machine.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 1:49 pm rating: 0
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#10 Wade

I like how the bulldog smoked a blunt, and left a burn mark.

May 6, 2008 at 9:31 pm rating: +1

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- #10.1 RunBarbara
  
  I like how the girl ice skating backwards looks like she’s about to do The Robot.
  
  May 6, 2008 at 9:32 pm rating: 0
- #10.2 Canthz_B
  
  ’splains the Elton Johns.
  
  May 6, 2008 at 9:35 pm rating: 0
- #10.3 Mishee
  
  umm Wade, sorry, that was actually me.
  
  May 6, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: +2
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#11 Canthz_B

So a sheik who attends Mosque becomes a time-obsessed Western businessman?

May 6, 2008 at 9:33 pm rating: 0

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- #11.1 secondsout
  
  After a workout and a hearty dose of vitamins, yes.
  
  May 6, 2008 at 10:04 pm rating: 0
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#12 Canthz_B

I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my tree.
Go and piss on your own tree, leave mine alone.

All of that clip-art for a half bag of mulch.

May 6, 2008 at 9:46 pm rating: 0

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#13 anglophile

I didn’t know Richard Simmons celebrated Ramadan.

May 6, 2008 at 9:48 pm rating: +1

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#14 Canthz_B

Only in Manhattan is the tree at the curb claimed as “front yard” territory.

May 6, 2008 at 9:57 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #14.1 soulofaqua
  
  actually not just Manhattan, people here in Holland also tend to claim the trees but they atleast decorate them with a nice abundance of flowers or bricks with the names of some of the peeps in the street on them.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 3:30 am rating: 0
- #14.2 Canthz_B
  
  We like to take things literally I see.
  Well, since Manhattan was originally a Dutch colony maybe it’s just an old habit.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 3:00 pm rating: 0
- #14.3 secondsout
  
  Manhattan was once a Dutch colony, but was traded to the English in exchange for what is now Suriname. This is known as the worst land deal in history.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 3:19 pm rating: 0
- #14.4 soulofaqua
  
  The whole of New York, Delaware, Connecticut and New Jersey used to be a dutch colony named “Nieuw Nederland” but multiple conflicts with the English ended with this area becoming English. It is wondered that if we had not lost that colony that america would have spoken dutch.
  
  May 8, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 0
- #14.5 secondsout
  
  As a result, Dutch is spoken in three places: The Netherlands, Suriname, and Hell.
  
  May 8, 2008 at 5:07 pm rating: 0
- #14.6 S.J.
  
  And what about Flanders (Belgium)? Or is that what you meant by Hell?
  
  May 8, 2008 at 5:35 pm rating: 0
- #14.7 soulofaqua
  
  Yes S.J. Belgium is hell besides most of them are cocky frenchmen with an identity crisis and secondsout dutch is also spoken in some parts of africa though they did a good job distorting it!
  
  May 10, 2008 at 12:34 am rating: 0
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#15 secondsout

I guess it’s ok if you skate forwards, just no backwards skating.

May 6, 2008 at 9:57 pm rating: 0

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#16 secondsout

What they’re not telling you is that the mulch in exhibit A is from ground-up dogs.

May 6, 2008 at 9:59 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #16.1 Canthz_B
  
  Or from Ground-Zero…ooooh, in bad taste!
  
  Still not a fun sight from the PATH train.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 1:13 am rating: 0
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#17 secondsout

Holy shit, where can I get one of those awesome sweatshirts? It’s mostly green, but then the sleeve is pink, from the diagonal stripe. I’ll be unable to fend off all the hot girls!

Wait, you’re telling me I’d look like a douchebag? Aww, man…

May 6, 2008 at 10:03 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #17.1 RunBarbara
  
  You’d only look like a douche bag if you didn’t get the matching headband and track shorts.
  You would look magnificent.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:29 am rating: +1
- #17.2 secondsout
  
  If I can just add the pink gloves and skates from the backwards girl upstairs, that would complete my ensemble. I’ve been out of school for years, but I’m sure someone would find a way to knock my algebra book out of my hands.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: 0
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#18 anglophile

The pedant in me is having a hard time with the mix of tulips and sunflowers blooming at the same time on Sign #1. I hate it when people mix up the seasons!

May 6, 2008 at 10:08 pm rating: +4

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- #18.1 secondsout
  
  Except that the sunflower looks to be a plastic one. You would think that clip art could at least try to look like it’s not a fake flower.
  
  May 6, 2008 at 10:19 pm rating: +1
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#19 Naomi

C, definitely. They actually took time to make the sign.

May 6, 2008 at 10:49 pm rating: 0

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- #19.1 Joe
  
  No way. B wins out, hands down. I award points for:
  -Crossing out the “no,” thereby requiring the list items for all guests. (They must be in America, where everyone is a gun-toting cowboy.)
  -Unintelligible picture of woman. (After I’ve looked at it for ten minutes, I think she’s rollerblading in backwards in lingerie, but I’m still not sure. Isn’t that something the guests would want to see?)
  
  May 7, 2008 at 8:54 am rating: 0
- #19.2 unholyghost2003
  
  except the casino is in Cambodia
  
  May 7, 2008 at 9:01 am rating: 0
- #19.3 Mishee
  
  They should’ve had a picture of a 12 year old boy instead….
  
  (yeah, I said it…)
  
  May 7, 2008 at 9:07 am rating: +3
- #19.4 Joe
  
  It is in Cambodia, isn’t it? Silly me.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:34 am rating: 0
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#20 Mishee

Damn! I have to go back to the car and stash my Glock before we go gamble! Good thing I can at least still bring my C-4 in with me, cause I don’t know what I would do without it!

May 6, 2008 at 11:12 pm rating: +4

reply to this comment
- #20.1 amazon
  
  Yeah, good thing my switchblade is ok. And my skateboard.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 12:44 am rating: +1
- #20.2 Crash
  
  I see nothing about a machetes…
  
  May 7, 2008 at 12:51 am rating: 0
- #20.3 Crash
  
  Damn I took too long typing that…
  Good one amazon.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 12:55 am rating: 0
- #20.4 RunBarbara
  
  You can bring grenades, rocket launchers, brass knuckles…just no Scotties or Himalayan cats. The twelve year old boys are allergic.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:32 am rating: +2
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#21 Lorrie

Double negatives make my head explode.

May 6, 2008 at 11:35 pm rating: 0

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#22 Annika

Someone’s been listening to Malcolm Gladwell!

May 7, 2008 at 12:14 am rating: 0

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#23 César

The Second One

May 7, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #23.1 GhostWriter
  
  César follows directions much better than the rest of you.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:09 am rating: 0
- #23.2 unholyghost2003
  
  but but but I said which AND I included my troubling questions! Bonus points?
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:20 am rating: 0
- #23.3 Mishee
  
  Cesar: Ass kisser
  
  (no rickrolling with this one, Girl Scout’s Honor)
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:27 am rating: 0
- #23.4 GhostWriter
  
  UHG-you’re right. Go to the head of the class.
  
  But Mishee, I see you are still disrupting our learning time with your name-calling. Maybe another trip to Principal Bowermann’s office will set you straight?
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:40 am rating: 0
- #23.5 Mishee
  
  I’d like to see you try and make me!
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:44 am rating: 0
- #23.6 RunBarbara
  
  with headlocks and tasers anything is possible.
  
  May 7, 2008 at 10:51 am rating: +1
- #23.7 unholyghost2003
  
  Don’t Tase me Bar!

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