our anonymous submitter lives in what she says is a typical college apartment, one that is “not decorated according to any theme.” and yet, in a transformation a college freshman taking lit 101 might describe as “kafkaesque,” one of her roommates has been replaced by your [fill-in-your-own-ethnic-stereotype-here] grandmother.
adds our submitter: “these weird towels wouldn’t dry two fingers, much less two hands, so we don’t use them anyway! (maybe if they weren’t so ugly…)”
reddit!
stumble it!
124 responses so far ↓
#1 Jinx
Well, the next time I’m decorating something, I’ll keep towels in mind.
Seriously, though, those are some ugly towels and they’re the color of shit.
May 7, 2008 at 9:45 pm rating: 0
#2 anglophile
No, no, no, Marissa’s Roommate. You are wrong. The entire point of a decorative hand towel is to designate it for use in drying your hands. Miss Manners says so.
May 7, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: +3
#3 Cady
OK, I don’t get the point of decorative hand towels. I mean, what is the fucking point? It’s just shit in your house with no purpose. And it really has no place in a college apartment. You’re supposed to be scraping by on Ramen noodles and beer, ladies!
May 7, 2008 at 9:55 pm rating: 0
#4 Canthz_B
The hand-writing screams “I’m special!”
May 7, 2008 at 9:59 pm rating: +1
#5 goose
The submitter is lying when she says they haven’t used the towels.
Clearly someone has used the top one to wipe their arse.
May 7, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: +1
#6 Wade
Any supposed style points scored by placing decorative towels in the bathroom are instantly negated by the US magazine article on Ashlee Simpson’s life changing makeover.
May 7, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: +9
#7 Nerdyradiogirl
Well at least she has an option if her room mate does not want her to use all of her toilet paper!
May 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm rating: +3
#8 secondsout
You know what else makes great decoration? A stupid PAN! Seriously, it’s like hanging a “Don’t Touch” sign around the Statue of David’s neck.
May 7, 2008 at 10:10 pm rating: +8
#9 secondsout
Every college dorm has someone like this. I had two friends who were total opposites but stuck as roommates. One guy was trying to watch cartoon network at 2 in the morning, and the other guy was trying to change the channel to check the stock market returns in Japan. Seriously, it’s 2 in the fucking morning. Live a little! And fuck off with your Nikkei-checking Twerpy self.
May 7, 2008 at 10:15 pm rating: +1
#10 secondsout
If they want to decorate, maybe they should start by trying to hide the ugly cracks on the wall where the building is falling apart.
May 7, 2008 at 10:19 pm rating: 0
#11 RunBarbara
Ashlee Simpson says:
You thought nothing was as ugly as my nose job? Check out these hand towels!
May 7, 2008 at 10:58 pm rating: +2
#12 Love Jesus
I’d smear feces all over them. That’s just how I roll!
May 7, 2008 at 11:11 pm rating: +2
#13 Zorin
I have a neighbor with the clear plastic covers on ALL her furniture. It makes the furniture uncomfortable as hell to sit in, and it looks like utter SHITE on top of that.
What’s the point in covering things to “keep them looking nice” if they look like ASS the entire time they’re covered? And you never uncover them?
As for the towels… If they ARE supposed to be decorative, the big ugly *sign* sort of ruins the effect…
May 7, 2008 at 11:17 pm rating: +3
#14 Ben
I wonder why Marissa was singled out?
Is it because Marissa wipes her grimy paws on anything she can get her mitts on or did the person catch Marissa defacing the towels with her slightly damp hands after using the facilities?
May 8, 2008 at 1:55 am rating: +1
#15 annonymous
that is personalized stationary….an appropriate touch i’d say
May 8, 2008 at 2:00 am rating: +1
#16 Set To Evil
If I’m in someones house and I have the common decency to wash my hands, I will use the towels provided, decorative or not! And the same goes for those little soaps in the shape of seashells or cherubs or some such tacky crap!
I bet her toilet has a furry cover on it too.
May 8, 2008 at 3:47 am rating: +1
#17 Super Tash
Fab, Iv’e been wondering what my home needs to add a ‘touch of class’ - decorative hand towels might just do it. I might also buy ornamental food and display it in the kitchen with a PAN note on it to make sure no one eats it.
May 8, 2008 at 6:22 am rating: 0
#18 shirky
this is one instance where escalating PANs would be appropriate. This food is meant to be decoration food…please don’t eat! This couch is decoration couch…please don’t sit! This dog is decoration dog…please don’t feed!
May 8, 2008 at 6:41 am rating: +1
#19 Brian
What’s with everyone ending their “I’m being a bitch/dick notes” with a smiley face. Like that makes it all good.
May 8, 2008 at 6:47 am rating: +1
#20 claw71
Decorative
They are either decorations or they are decorative towels. I hate when trailer park bimbettes try to sound classy.
I’m surprised that these are tacky 1970s-era ornamental towels rather than something out of the NASCAR bin at WAL*MART.
May 8, 2008 at 8:34 am rating: +1
#21 GhostWriter
My Mom will place notes on pies around Christmas that say, “Don’t Eat”. When I ask why, she tells me she’s saving them for guests.
I live about a thousand miles from my Mom.
She will also stick a note on a freshly cleaned toilet that says “broken” so it will be spotless for imaginary visitors.
May 8, 2008 at 9:08 am rating: +1
#22 se
I have to disagree wit ya’all.
there’s nothing worse that starting to dry your hands on a decoration towel and coming across a huge fresh gob of snot.
May 8, 2008 at 9:20 am rating: 0
#23 Sheepish
Why did the note leaver put Marissa’s last name on the note? How many Marissa’s live in this place? Is it like middle naming someone… maybe she didn’t know her middle name.
May 8, 2008 at 9:32 am rating: 0