jessica from chicago spotted this gem at a boston-area starbucks.
notes jessica: “i wonder if all that special barista training they had recently included anything about dictating the topic of conversations allowed?”
related: our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong
This post is favorited by 0 users
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · cranky barista · massachusetts · sports · starbucks
"customer service" "helpful" advice a little patronizing actions speak louder anthropomorphism austin australia bathroom birthday blitzkrieg approach boston brooklyn bullet points california canada CAPS LOCK cleaning clip art catastrophe confusion??? crazypants d.c. dishes dogs e-mail ellipses-crazed ex drama excessive underlining exclamation-point happy! facebook family florida food frenemies fridge garbage gloriously redundant group bitchfest guilt trip heart highlighter holiday spirit hygiene irregular capitalization jersey jesus kitchen laundry london los angeles massachusetts mean girls meta microwave moms & dads money more aggressive than passive music neighbors new york noise not-so-veiled threats now that's management odor office office fridge oh no you didn't oh snap ontario opening/closing p.s. parking piss pleasantries as afterthought questionable logic raging against the machine rebuttals restaurant retail hell rhetorical question roommates saga san diego san francisco sarcasm say wha? seattle sex sex sex shit signed with love smiley smoking spelling and grammar police stealing temperature texas thanks (but not really) that shit is disgusting toilet toronto touching u.k. university unnecessary "quotation marks" virginia visual aids water whiteboard you call that punctuation?
140 responses so far ↓
#1
zombieBlanco
I’ll have an extragrandegladthecelticswonwithadoubleovertimeshot.
May 8, 2008 at 11:33 pm rating: +35
#2
Canthz_B
Dear customers,
Basketball is my life, second only to serving you.
If you are discussing the Celtics game, do not ask for anything with a froth on top.
May 8, 2008 at 11:46 pm rating: +4
#3
Sarah
If I was there, I’d start talking about Celtic history or music or something, and make sure to emphasize “Celtic” every time I said it, as well as other salient words:
“Why, yes, I’m doing my dissertation on the literature of the CELTICS, surely ONE of the finest periods in history…no, this is not a GAME…”
May 8, 2008 at 11:53 pm rating: +7
#4
Canthz_B
I think the implied threat here is, “Or I’ll show you the real reason they call this Bean-town!”
May 8, 2008 at 11:55 pm rating: 0
#5
Lorrie
I tried ever so hard, but it just slipped out!
Now, that’s a BOLD extra.
May 9, 2008 at 12:05 am rating: +1
#6
JesFoolin
Do not mess with the people that serve your food or manage your data! But man that Celtics win was fuckin’ delicious. Did you see the play where . . .
May 9, 2008 at 12:55 am rating: 0
#7
RunBarbara
Dear Customers,
If you don’t want a healthy wad of spit in your Frappuccino, don’t discuss the game. My finger has been in my butt recently and Im not afraid to handle your muffin sans gloves.
Thanks.
May 9, 2008 at 12:58 am rating: +2
#8
Canthz_B
So we can see, class, Freedom of Speech is often restricted first…
May 9, 2008 at 1:21 am rating: 0
#9
Craig
Am I the only one who loves telling people?
May 9, 2008 at 5:58 am rating: 0
#10
WickedLady
It’s not much fun watching something when you know the outcome, but still. It’s only a game. Not the end of the world.
May 9, 2008 at 6:56 am rating: 0
#11
Brian
Well, this is “customer service” in a nutshell these days. The sign might just as well have said, “I’m ok with the collecting a paycheck part of my job, but inconveniencing myself so that customers can enjoy their experience is really getting to be a drag.”
Fortunately I’m not a big fan of the whole Starbucks thing to begin with. What? Your barista is self-centered and clueless. No way.
May 9, 2008 at 7:31 am rating: +3
#12
Ryan
I’m in Boston and I know the people here. That’s pretty much a null and void request – a bunch of people milling around. In fact the sign is MORE LIKELY than not going to cause a conversation.
Celtics won.
May 9, 2008 at 7:40 am rating: 0
#13
Sundance
The fact that he even doubts the win shows he is not a true fan, and should have his viewing ruined.
That said, at least he didn’t take the day off to watch the game live. That’s what I would have done.
May 9, 2008 at 8:06 am rating: 0
#14
Amy
At first I thought, god how uptight can a person be? And then I thought, if I was recording a F1 race or perhaps Everton v Liverpool, I’d probably feel the same way. Does that make me passive aggressive??
May 9, 2008 at 8:13 am rating: 0
#15
RALPHY
IMHO–When your working in a place where people are wired with mega doses of caffine, in an establishmen that tends to be a cesspool of magligment conversations to begin with-I would think that the outcome of a wimpy Celtics game would be the last thing that you would be afraid of overhearing. Just saying—
May 9, 2008 at 8:29 am rating: 0
#16
claw71
That’s really kind of a moot point. Most of the people going into a Starbucks aren’t likely to obsess about sports. Now if you had taped James Lipton’s interview with Al Pacino and hoped to save the surprises until you got home you might be in trouble.
May 9, 2008 at 8:36 am rating: +6
#17
Summer
this request is also clearly a freedom of speech violation, he needs to just stick his fingers in his ears and say lalalalalalalalalalala all day if he doen’t want to hear it!
May 9, 2008 at 8:50 am rating: 0
#18
Sheepish
Starbucks employees are so pretentious.
I once tried to order a rice krispy treat to go with my late.
The conversation with the ‘too-cool-emo-barista-dude’ went exactly like this:
Me: I’d also like a rice crispy square, please.
Emo-Barista: You mean a rice crispy rectangle?
Me: Really? Um… whatever.
Emo-Barista grabs the polygon shaped cereal treat with his glove-less hand and shoves it in a bag angrily and slams it on the counter.
Me: Nevermind.
I went to Tim Horton’s instead.
May 9, 2008 at 9:06 am rating: +1
#19
unholyghost2003
I would like to say that I am saddened by these Bean-Town folk. Having spent most of my adult life in Packers, Redwings, and UK territories I have to say I now suddenly doubt the devotion of Bostonites to the Celtics. Here in the land of cheese there is NO WHERE you can go that has electricity that will not have the game on the TV or Radio. Same in MI and KY.
team tune the radio into the game!
May 9, 2008 at 9:28 am rating: +1
#20
Mishee
This reminds me of that movie Fever Pitch. I swear to God these fucking Bostonians need to take a chill pill!
It’s just a fucking game!!!
My blood runs green and gold, but when I miss the A’s game, I don’t watch it later, I just ask who won and if anything interesting happened. If it was interesting enough, it will be a clip on the morning news, or I can access it on their offical website within a day.
(My brother does the same thing though, with any sport. He will set it on his DVR and then rush home with some fast comfort food, a bag of green, and a six pack and just go home, veg, and watch the game. It’s almost like a ritual of some kind… I just think it’s weird.)
May 9, 2008 at 9:52 am rating: 0
#21
Jaybird
If I knew the outcome of the game and walked into that store, I probably wouldn’t have thought of saying anything about it….. until I saw the sign.
May 9, 2008 at 9:55 am rating: +3
#22
WickedLady
I can just picture it. Some random guy will walk in, up to the counter where a man is waiting to take orders. “Did you see the game? Man, the Celtics were awesome. No wonder they won.”
The man behind the counter winces and slowly turns around. “Did you not read the note?”
“What note?”
“The one on the door.”
“Nah, nobody reads those notes.”
At that point the man freezes. He hears all the people around him talk. Louder and louder. All of them are discussing the game. He puts his hands to his ears, but the sound won’t go away. It keeps getting louder. Then he looses it. He grabs a gun from under the counter and…
May 9, 2008 at 10:15 am rating: +5
#23
claw71
Ok, coffee clown, I won’t mention the outcome of the game but let’s talk about you and where you’re at in life when you’re squeezing beans at 9:00 at night. Sure, the people coming in for a caffeine fix at this hour are pretty hysterical examples of human beings but is this really the best you can do, or did you pick the easiest job out there so mommy and daddy will continue to subsidize your t00-cool-for-school bohemian existence?
And why Starbucks? No company better represents how Americans will sell their souls if the money is right. Starbucks used to be about good coffee, now they burn every batch of beans and they are every bit as shamelessly exploitative as WalMart.
You guys squirt a little whipped cream on coffee that’s served 20 degrees hotter than it should be and then you expect a tip. Look, if you want tips get a job at Bob Evans but don’t think that standing brooding like a Cure tribute band entitles you to anything above your paltry hourly wage. It’s coffee, dammit and there are six of you post-grunge whiners standing around back there.
So take the tribal expanders out of the linguini noodles you call ear lobes, lose the dreads and do something worthwhile. I know, you want to express yourself. That’s cool but the message your sending is “I’m a loser.” So do us all a favor, forget about the game you Tivo-ed on that digital recorder Aunt Selma bought you for Christmas last year, polish off that resume and start looking for a little thing the rest of us call a life, -kay?
May 9, 2008 at 10:23 am rating: +9
#24
Max Roswell
I think somebody’s just bitter they’re not playing basketball in Chicago this time of year.
May 9, 2008 at 10:25 am rating: +1
#25
Quite Contrary
After I order my extragrandegladthecelticswonwithadoubleovertimeshot, I have this burning desire to also let them know that Gilligan and the gang never got off the island either.
May 9, 2008 at 11:10 am rating: +4
#26
callmelou
When I worked slinging coffee in Denver, I would specifically ASK people about the status of the Red Sox games! It’s not like a book or movie – knowing the ending doesn’t ruin watching a great game later!
May 9, 2008 at 11:39 am rating: +1
#27
Boston Rob
If you can’t switch to a shift where you can watch the game live, then get a job in a BAH or some other place where you can watch while you work.
If you’re not willing to call in sick or go to some other extreme lengths to watch the game, then us REAL FANS in Boston are not going to have any respect for you and will probably deliberately ruin your day.
BTW, if i were taping Everton/Liverpool I wouldn’t have to worry about hearing the result because I’d already know that Liverpool would win (go Reds..)
May 9, 2008 at 11:58 am rating: +2
#28
pistola
When i worked retail many moons ago I had this ass-bag boss who would always schedule me on sundays during football season, no big deal, i had tivo. What really got my goat is when he would give me updates on the game I was recording, i eventually told him to take the job a shove it mid christmas freak-out. Anyway, if customer ruins it while you’re at work thats the breaks, making a sign is a little much. I do give him credit for having the balls to make the sign. Boston sports fans in boston are like morons in utah, crazier than the rest of the bunch outside mecca.
May 9, 2008 at 12:22 pm rating: +1
#29
secondsout
Does anyone else find the word “barista” to be a really pretentious word? OK, if someone’s really an expert at something, that person gets a fancy title. Like in a fancy restaurant, someone is the sous chef, etc. But you don’t need someone known as the sous chef in an Appleby’s. Similarly, maybe the local teenager in your Starbuck’s can get a more realistic title, like “coffee server.”
May 9, 2008 at 12:53 pm rating: +1
#30
secondsout
Is this officious PAN the “bold extra” that Starbucks is now serving?
May 9, 2008 at 12:56 pm rating: 0
#31
AliceBlue
(am I really the first person to say this?)
Isn’t this a Sports Night thing??? Orlando Rojas is pitching for the Orioles…?
oh well, some days you just stand there, hip deep in pie.
May 9, 2008 at 3:53 pm rating: 0
#32
Jinx
What exactly is the server going to do? Imean, who would be stupid enough to talk about it then go up for another drink?
May 9, 2008 at 9:08 pm rating: 0
#33
TuesdayPillow
As a Boston sports fan, my opinion is this:
If you can’t sport the money to go watch the fuckin’ game or take the time off to watch the game THEN YOU ARE NOT A REAL FAN. DEAL WITH THE SPOILER OF YOUR SO-CALLED “PRECIOUS” CELTICS. I spit in your retahdedness!
May 11, 2008 at 5:30 am rating: 0
#34
Fallen Angel
That`s a fair request
May 11, 2008 at 7:36 am rating: 0
#35
Quite Contrary
I went to Starbucks yesterday. It was a little hard to tell the barista who won the game because they wouldn’t look me in the eye and they barely spoke to me.
They were, however, very interested in my money. Particularly my change, which went straight back into my wallet.
May 11, 2008 at 1:18 pm rating: +1
#36
Freddy
hahahaha…love it! I’d be fired for posting a sign like that. I’m jealous. Well done!
May 11, 2008 at 3:01 pm rating: 0
#37
Mung Bean
Uh-uh. I don’t tip.
I don’t tip because society says I have to. Alright, I tip when somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth an effort, I’ll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, that’s for the birds. As far as I’m concerned they’re just doing their job.
Look, I ordered coffee. Now we’ve been here a long fuckin’ time, and she’s only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.
These ladies aren’t starvin’ to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn’t lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tip-worthy.
May 12, 2008 at 9:55 am rating: +1
#38
james
So what? Appease him. Its a polite note and a friendly request from a fellow person in society. It has nothing to do with Starbucks – except that its a personal note placed in his corporate environment.
I have two co-workers that record tennis matches and go home and watch them. I see the headlines blown up on CNN and Drudge – but I don’t mouth off Andy Roddick’s latest serve to them.
Sure you could go blow it for them out of spite for treating their Starbucks retail position in a controlling haughty manner – but why be a dick?
http://www.futuregringo.com
May 12, 2008 at 4:13 pm rating: +3
#39
senatorturer
Haha… I was going to submit this one too!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/senatorturer/2466247913/
May 17, 2008 at 4:32 pm rating: 0
#40
Crustimoney Proseedcake
Well, I think that’s fair enough. If anything, it suggests the writer has a friendly relationship with the customers that allows this sort of request.
Jun 10, 2008 at 9:31 am rating: 0
#41 all your baristas are belong to us
[...] an extra bold request extra credit: starbucks gossip digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble [...]
Jun 17, 2008 at 6:55 pm rating: 0
#42 wie bitte(r)?
[...] peter’s rough translation: “anyone who doesn’t buy anything PLEASE leave the store!!! thanks.” (that’s at least one request we haven’t seen at a starbucks…yet.) [...]
Jun 19, 2008 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#43
john
Yeah, if you live in Boston it’s impossible to NOT know who won a Red Sox, Celtics or Patriots game. Unless, of course you are deaf and blind. Even in that scenario, somethings bound to be written in braille!
This person may as well have written a note to the entire city.
Jun 29, 2008 at 9:02 pm rating: 0
Leave a Comment