Try not to bite the hand that the dog bites

May 12th, 2008 · 69 comments

While paying his old office a weekend visit, Jimsu from Katy, Texas didn’t catch the original note (or, perhaps, conversation) that precipitated this huffy screed from the mailman…

Dear customer: You are absolutely correct. I should've been more considerate to your needs. Therefore if you do not have your mailbox key you will not receive any mail. Also this is not the mailbox. It is located around the corner. Any mail left on the ledge will remain there. Your mailman

…but he did spot the follow-up from the office smartass.

 Mailman - Please leave a cafe latte & some flowers with my mail. Thanx

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

FILED UNDER: "customer service" · excessive underlining · going postal · note wars · office · oh snap · Texas · you be the judge


69 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Crash bang

    And we wonder why Postal workers go “Postal”…

    How ’bout your mail and flowers in your cafe latte ?

    May 12, 2008 at 3:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Mishee bang

    Dear Mailman,

    Please don’t kill me with an automatic weapon.

    I love you.

    God Bless the USPS!

    Thanx!

    And what’s with all the damn underlining? Isn’t that supposed to accentuate a point within a paragraph, instead of actually being under almost the whole letter??

    May 12, 2008 at 3:33 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      the blue marker used to underline also corrects the “S” and makes it “so” … I think the smartass pink note writer did the underlining and correcting.

      May 12, 2008 at 3:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mishee bang

      they should’ve added a few penis drawings then, to make it more festive!

      May 12, 2008 at 3:40 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Quite Contrary bang

      Please note the office smartass added a period before he/she/it underlined the remainder of the note for emphasis. How can I tell, you might ask? It’s in the same ink as the smart ass response on the pink post-it.

      Which, by the way, they should have added an 1/2″ of a second post it underneath for emphasis.

      May 12, 2008 at 3:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   unholyghost2003 bang

    “any mail left on the ledge will remain there.” Yet they continue, as evidenced by the source pictures, to leave mail on the ledge. Maybe that is why the altercation happened anyway “We are TRYING to create an air tight seal around this door half using junk mail and you keep taking it!”

    May 12, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Dear customer,
    Please be considerate of my needs. Your ledge is on the 17th floor!

    May 12, 2008 at 3:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   fantasy bang

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuGgWRyhPsI

    PLEASE MR. POSTMAN

    Wait!

    Oh Yea!

    Mr. Postman

    Wait a minute,Wait a minute Mr. Postman!

    Oh, Mr. postman wait and see!

    Please, Please,

    Oh mr. Postman

    Just leave me some coffee you see,

    I’ve been waitin’ so long

    Oh, Mr. Postman,

    Please Mr. Postman, I’d like to see

    Please, Oh Please Mr. Postman

    Pick some flowers just for me!

    I Will always thank You, You will see,

    Mr. Postman just for me

    Break your rules and

    leave some flower’s for me!

    Ooohh! Mr. Postman.

    No need to be sorry for me

    if I don’t get my mail I will see

    some flowers and latte, just for me

    Thank You Mr. Postman Just wait and see ,

    Ohh yea a latte for me Will be waiting I see

    Mr. Postman just for me…..

    I’ve been waiting such a very long time,

    so wait a minute wait a minute I will look and see.

    Please stop and make me feel better….

    Leave me some flowers, the hell with a letter…

    a latte will do Mr. Postman

    I will always thank you……. oh, well.

    May 12, 2008 at 3:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Quite Contrary bang

    Does anyone want to DARE to tell the postman who won the Celtics game?

    May 12, 2008 at 3:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    “I” before “E” except after “C”…oh, wait, you’re just a mail handler and you have a strong union…carry on!

    May 12, 2008 at 3:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Canthz_B bang

      Before the Nazis get started, NO, this is not a hard and fast rule! It’s just a joke you read on PAN.

      May 12, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   RunBarbara bang

      My personal fav is:
      Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, area=PIE (R)squared

      May 12, 2008 at 7:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      Bikini wax= π r ²

      May 13, 2008 at 6:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Crash bang

    ( I think Customer is also Smartass…)

    Smartass,
    You will get your flowers and cafe latte if you have your mailbox key.

    May 12, 2008 at 3:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Bellabeastie

      Dear Customer, You’ll be needing to pull those flowers and latte out of your ass, which apparently is where you have stuck your mailbox key and your head as well. Love, Your Mailman

      May 12, 2008 at 4:19 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   RunBarbara bang

      hi, bb! havent seen you in a while…

      May 13, 2008 at 12:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   bellabeastie

      Hi backatcha RB !! bbeen bbizzzy ! :)

      May 13, 2008 at 7:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    The price paid for hiring office staff for their looks rather than their talents.
    “Hey Blondie, the mailman is not your mother!”

    May 12, 2008 at 3:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Crash bang

      Oh !
      That’s right…the milk man is… :D

      May 12, 2008 at 4:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Jake

      OH SNAP

      Jun 7, 2008 at 10:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   amy d bang

    Oh yes, Customer, you are completely right. I should have been more considerate of your needs. On the other hand, you’re a doofus who 1)forgets the key to the mailbox and 2)leaves mail for pick up in inappropriate places. Nyah-nyah :P

    May 12, 2008 at 3:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    “Any mail left on the ledge will remain there.”

    Does he intend to post a guard?

    May 12, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Crash bang

    What office has it’s own office inside for the mail man ?

    May 12, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    We could avoid all of this unpleasantness if postal workers got better tips and were allowed to use the decorative towels!

    May 12, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Redhead

      I used to leave my mailman cookies at Christmas. He always seemed pretty happy . . . . . of course, it was a pretty small town . . .

      May 12, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      That’s cool, they were large cookies! :-)

      May 12, 2008 at 6:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Wade bang

    Are you sure that first note is signed “Mail Man”, and not “Mad Man”?

    May 12, 2008 at 4:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   amy d bang

      I thought the same thing, Wade! :lol:

      May 12, 2008 at 4:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Canthz_B bang

      Is there really a difference after years of snow, rain, heat and gloom of night?

      May 12, 2008 at 6:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   p'chick

    Wonder why the mailman put up a sign… instead of MAILING his screed? THIS is why our mail rates are going up, mail usage has dropped so much.

    May 12, 2008 at 4:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      Why send a letter to someone who is without a mailbox key?
      just saying…

      May 12, 2008 at 4:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Quite Contrary bang

      Why send a letter to your daughter who lives at your house? Oh, never mind.

      May 12, 2008 at 4:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Canthz_B bang

      The joy of their little faces lighting up (at age 24) and the slow change as they realize that it is just from you, asking for rent? :twisted:

      May 12, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   fantasy bang

    Now they not only have to deliver the letters, they have to write them???

    May 12, 2008 at 4:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   PixelPerfect bang

      Yes – where I work , this is called “other duties as assigned”.

      May 13, 2008 at 3:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   fantasy bang

    so is that why price of postage is going up?

    To keep up with the price of specialty coffee?

    Well, that sucks about as good as one of those itty bitty straws!

    May 12, 2008 at 4:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Great! Now my other favorite site is down. :-(

    May 12, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   claw71 bang

    Most of the letter carriers I’ve dealt with are pretty cool and some will go beyond the call of duty. It looks like this guy tried to do that only to have it blow up in his face.

    A while back we had a really nasty mailman who would not deliver mail if he felt his path to the mail box was obstructed. He skipped our house because there was a bike too close to the walkway and when I went out to get the mail from him he told me it was too late. One day he refusesd to deliver to all the houses on one side of the street because there were kids playing on the sidewalk.

    The local postmaster took complaints but never did anything about it. Nobody liked the guy and eventually he snapped and punched somebody. I wish it had been me. I’d have tapped a keg full of whoop ass for him and then I would have sued the Postal Service for hiring captain flashback.

    May 12, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      Vietnamese kids can do that to some people!

      May 12, 2008 at 5:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Quite Contrary bang

      My neighborhood mailman went through a period of simply throwing my and my neighbor’s mail on our porches. Never mind that the mailboxes were ON the porches. We’d get home and there would be mail on the porch, on the grass, in the dirt, etc.

      Just as we were about to collectively call and complain, he stopped. Just like that.

      Don’t get me wrong. This does not make me a member of Team Smartass. I think the latte and flowers request was just a smidge over the top. I really want to know what prompted the original note from the mailman.

      May 12, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   fantasy bang

      Did he forget he was no longer twelve and this
      was NOT his paper route?

      May 12, 2008 at 5:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   amazon

      I came home to my apartment one afternoon to find the mailman delivering our mail. I stood by, quietly, in the lobby waiting for him to finish so I could retrieve my mail. He asked me to “Stop looking over (his) shoulder!” as this was “making him nervous,” and that I should leave and come back when he was done.

      I would never disobey a nervous postman.

      May 12, 2008 at 7:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      Our mail man (who has lived across the street from us for the past 20 years) will skip all the houses on our block if he gets behind in his route. Also, my husband and I live next door to my parents and our two mail boxes are next to each other. I understand when he puts random junk mail addressed to me with my maiden name in their mail box, but I just don’t understand when he gives us ALL of their mail. I mean WHY shove a huge amount of mail addressed to Jones (people you have known for 20 years!) in a mail box marked Smith?

      May 13, 2008 at 7:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   RunBarbara bang

    My mailman peed in my mailbox. While I have no actual proof I can tell you that the neighborhood cats were really interested in my soggy electric bill and KFC coupons. I think it was to get back at me for leaving a Slurpee in there one hot summer day before I went on a vacation.

    May 12, 2008 at 5:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   fantasy bang

      We used to find six-packs of beer, then we realized it was my Brother-in-law not the Mailman!

      May 12, 2008 at 5:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   p'chick

      and I almost peed myself laughing at this!

      May 12, 2008 at 5:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Quite Contrary bang

      I wish my mailman would leave six packs of beer in my mailbox! Or winning lotto numbers!

      May 12, 2008 at 5:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Sharon J

      I caught my mailman peeing on my yard. I walked up on him and asked what he was doing. He felt embarrassed and someone else runs my route.

      May 16, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   RunBarbara bang

    Does anyone else think they mailman’s signature looks like it says Madman?
    Fitting.

    May 12, 2008 at 5:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Wade bang

      I did, RunBarbara. ↑

      ;)

      May 12, 2008 at 6:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   RunBarbara bang

      *is on medication*

      May 12, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   RunBarbara bang

    I wonder if AnyMail is a distant cousin to Anytime Stan?

    May 12, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   bellabeastie

      I love Anytime Stan.

      Whenever you are having a bad day, just remember a day in The Life of ….

      Puke, pee, elevator, urinal, ledge, shower,mailbox, buck lure or defecating in shoes, he’s your Man.

      Team Take That Postal Sissy

      May 13, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Wade bang

    Postmaster Flash leaves The Message

    P-A notes everywhere
    Customer wanting flowers, you know I just
    Don’t care
    I can’t take the smell, I can’t take the crap
    Got to be considerate, I guess I get no nap
    Fool wants a café latte like it’s free
    Smartass in the office without their damn key
    I tried to leave a note, but it didn’t get far
    Underlines, punctuation … you know this means war

    Don’t push me, leavin’ mail on the ledge
    I’m trying not to lose my head
    I’m like a madman sometimes, it makes me inquire
    Why the hell I don’t retire

    May 12, 2008 at 7:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   park rose bang

      pure genius ;)

      May 12, 2008 at 9:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Canthz_B bang

      I knew there was a homeboy in there!!! :-D

      May 13, 2008 at 6:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Toots

    That cafe latte was fucking delicious!

    May 12, 2008 at 7:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   bellabeastie

    Hey all – just got home from work….

    Zzzzuup with the little thumb-rating thingie?

    Is this new or am I totally deranged?

    (Don’t answer the second part of that question unless you want me to go Postal) Then you’ll never get your effin mail. :)

    So there.

    May 12, 2008 at 10:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   park rose

      Hey Bella, it used to be that you had to be registered and punctuated (with an exclamation mark after your name) to vote and see the thumbs up.

      5 thumbs up makes your comment green.

      But I haven’t logged in, and I’m seeing the thumbs up too, so I guess it’s open to all now :D

      Yaaay, more to the party!!

      May 12, 2008 at 10:40 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   bellabeastie

      Thanks, P. Rose for the explanation.

      I can start with 5 and work my way up! I never knew about how to get the exclamation point.

      Cooool. I’ve some figuring out to do.. :)

      May 12, 2008 at 11:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      bella, to get punctuated scroll to the bottom of the screen and click the ” i wanna get punctuated!” link ;)

      May 13, 2008 at 7:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   bellabeastie

    hahaha… Gene Siskel Lives…

    Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down. Seems to be thumbs up — it’s that rating number that makes me question…. I mean, how can you get a zero and still have a thumbs UP? +

    Hero to Zero

    May 12, 2008 at 11:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Crash bang

      8)

      May 13, 2008 at 12:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Crash bang

      Congrats on “WORD !” bellabeastie.

      May 13, 2008 at 12:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Canthz_B bang

      Bella, The thumbs up is there for comments that you have not yet voted on. After you vote for them you cannot vote there again.
      There used to be a vote against thumbs down, but it was used for evil and so it was retired.

      May 13, 2008 at 6:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   bellabeastie

      Sorta like PAN Superdelegates.

      Thumbs up = one vote, one voice.

      Thumbs down = was once retired, now resurrected and used for evil.

      Sounds like John McCain. (Ooops – did I say that out loud) my bad.

      May 13, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   bellabeastie

    I think I’m having performance anxiety..

    Wait, is that mail on my ledge?

    Gotta go find my key….

    May 13, 2008 at 7:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   S.S.

    It reminds me of this scene from Seinfeld:

    Jerry: A postal worker? Aren’t those the guys that usually go crazy and shoot everybody?
    Newman: Sometimes.
    Jerry: Why is that?
    Newman: Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming AND COMING AND COMING….

    Aaaah, good times. I love Seinfeld reruns.

    May 13, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   secondsout bang

      I’m pretty sure there’s also an episode where Newman tells Jerry he’s not delivering the mail. He doesn’t feel like it, since it’s raining. Jerry replies, “not rain, nor sleet…” It’s the first one!! Not to be outdone is the episode where Kramer bricks up his mailbox in order to stop receiving mail. Now that beats this mailbox key debacle!

      May 13, 2008 at 7:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     

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