“it wasn’t me”

May 13th, 2008 · 90 comments

as far as post-coital “littering” goes, i’m guessing most dorm bathrooms have seen a lot worse than a pink t-shirt, no?

while we certainly appreciate it...

(and we certainly appreciate matt in greensboro, for snapping the photo.)

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FILED UNDER: bathroom · double-entendre alert · greensboro · on behalf of everyone · sex sex sex · university


'someecards: Shoot the Leg' T-Shirt for Men 'someecards: Terrified Offline' T-Shirt for Men

90 responses so far ↓

  • #1   zchamu

    Wow. Looks like the letter writer coulda used a little action too.

    May 13, 2008 at 8:51 am   rating: +12  

     
  • #2   unholyghost2003

    EWWW to having sex in a dorm bathroom. Don’t you people know we shit in those showers?

    May 13, 2008 at 8:57 am   rating: +20  

    • #2.1   orangetiki

      maybe he got wind of past room mates shitting the beds

      May 13, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #2.2   Andy

      Also funny (to me) is the fact that this is comment #2.

      Jun 11, 2008 at 2:53 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #3   ALA

    “While we, your jealous/bitter friends, certainly appreciate that you got laid last night (you effing bastard!), we don’t appreciate your girlfriend’s clothes on the floor. (Primarily because we haven’t seen a woman out of her clothes in so long, we didn’t remember what women’s undies look like…well, except those ones we keep for special occasions.) Please keep littering to a minimum, as we are all jealous because of the 7 empty condom wrappers that have appeared around the house since yesterday.
    Thanks,
    All of those who are not getting any.”

    May 13, 2008 at 9:01 am   rating: +8  

    • #3.1   RunBarbara

      Those seven condoms were fucking delicious.

      May 13, 2008 at 9:45 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #3.2   Shanoney

      Mmmmm, banana flavored ;)

      May 13, 2008 at 5:05 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B

    We would appreciate you getting laid if you had not slept with a slut that forgets her own clothing.
    We have lost all respect for you.

    May 13, 2008 at 9:02 am   rating: +4  

     
  • #5   César

    hahahaha I can totally see the person seeing the shirt, hesitating for a moment while his eyes water due to his own loneliness, than that frown turning into a scowl and then hastily writing that note : P

    May 13, 2008 at 9:03 am   rating: +9  

     
  • #6   Canthz_B

    Gotta love the “Everyone else” as if there were a committee meeting about the t-shirt in question!

    May 13, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: +6  

    • #6.1   unholyghost2003

      I *hope* there were panties! A pink t-shirt is not very good evidence of sex. What makes them so sure the shirt doesn’t belong to a guy? it is 2008 people! guys can wear pink shirts!

      May 13, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #6.2   Canthz_B

      In public?
      Just shoot me! :-P

      May 13, 2008 at 9:20 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #6.3   unholyghost2003

      no, in the bathroom ;)

      May 13, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #6.4   secondsout

      Guys tend not to wear pink, and really tend not to wear pink shirts that have sleeves cut for women.

      May 13, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #6.5   karin

      Guys call their pink shirts “salmon”

      May 13, 2008 at 11:05 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #6.6   Crash

      I call “salmon” shirts pink.

      May 13, 2008 at 11:07 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #6.7   Sarah

      I call salmon shirts smelly and probably unsanitary.

      May 14, 2008 at 1:03 am   rating: +7  

       
    • #6.8   Canthz_B

      Sarah, not to put too fine a point on it, but it’s not the shirts…it’s your choice of guys in the shirts.

      May 14, 2008 at 1:14 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #6.9   Crash

      It’s still pink…

      May 14, 2008 at 1:18 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #7   Mishee

    I am just surprised that the note writer (presumably a male) noticed. I know my husband wouldn’t.

    May 13, 2008 at 9:11 am   rating: +1  

    • #7.1   RunBarbara

      My husband brings home other people’s clothes from the laundry mat, like they’re stray dogs or something. I’ll be folding laundry and see a pair of not-mine-underwear and get disgusted. I would think he was getting some serious ass but luckily he is socially inept :)

      May 13, 2008 at 9:48 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #7.2   pistola

      The tone of the note screams sexually frustrated male, the penmanship says otherwise imo.

      May 13, 2008 at 11:15 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.3   anglophile

      Um, RB. Your husband hasn’t brought home any white Puma jackets, has he? Because, if so, the owner knows where you live! :o

      May 13, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #7.4   RALPHY

      I hate to break the big headline RB, but socially inept guys do get laid on occasions. After all, he did get you in bed–no? As for the pink T-shirt, probably some crazed cross-dresser that felt a compelling need to come clean.

      May 13, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #7.5   secondsout

      Ralphy comes rushing to the defense of socially inept guys everywhere.

      RB, it’s worth being suspicious. If you see a training bra, divorce him.

      May 13, 2008 at 9:22 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.6   bellabeastie

      Hey, Ralphy -

      Isn’t that your pink t-shirt in the lost-and-found? In the box downstairs by the front door?

      Just asking.

      May 13, 2008 at 10:17 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.7   RALPHY

      The one laying next to your black pumps and mini–yea I think so—–just answering

      May 13, 2008 at 10:54 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #7.8   Crash

      Guess that means RALPHY’s been laid too…no ?

      May 13, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #7.9   bellabeastie

      No, baby — my black pumps and mini are on me as we speak. Sorry but you can’t see them.

      They go with the bustier.

      And Bella Doesn’t Leave her Stuff in the Bathroom

      dickhead. Like you’d ever have a chance.

      May 13, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #7.10   Canthz_B

      bella! Would you get back in this bedroom and leave that damned computer alone?!!

      May 13, 2008 at 11:21 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.11   bellabeastie

      CB — you know I love you, baby.

      Time 4 Bed…. zzzzzzz Girlz got to get up in the morning… ;)

      Just had to “chat” with Ralphy.

      May 13, 2008 at 11:35 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.12   known unknown

      sorry, “black pumps and mini” screams Penthouse Variations contributor… which screams “frustrated”… which is code for “mathematical virgin”… which is P.C. for “I got to do it once, then she changed her number” … which is a passive aggressive way of saying “your unit must be teensy” …. which brings us full circle to you being a Penthouse Variations contributor… which makes your hurt feelings behind the pink shirt fucking delicious.

      Not answering or answering, just saying.

      May 13, 2008 at 11:49 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #7.13   Canthz_B

      But she’s my girl, and I love her ♥

      May 14, 2008 at 1:00 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #7.14   Bronny

      Jeez, K.U. I didn’t think “black pumps and mini” could say so much.

      I thought it just meant “Ho’ “

      May 14, 2008 at 1:34 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #7.15   known unknown

      I thought it meant pop star.

      *shrugs*

      May 14, 2008 at 1:44 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B

    Is her pimp going to charge her for the lost shirt, or just beat it out of her?

    Yo Holly! Where’s that motha-fuckin’ pink tee I got foyo ass?

    May 13, 2008 at 9:12 am   rating: +4  

     
  • #9   sally

    I can’t help but wonder if that occurred at my college.

    May 13, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 0  

    • #9.1   Canthz_B

      It did…run and get your shirt, girl! :-)

      May 13, 2008 at 9:30 am   rating: +12  

       
     
  • #10   bellabeastie

    The Scene of the Crime:
    One solitary anonymous dormitory bathroom.
    The Evidence:
    One pink t-shirt.
    The Charge:
    Somebody (probably) got laid. And it wasn’t me.
    The Verdict:
    EVERYONE (?) would appreciate it if you gave me back my favorite shirt ( Joey-you know who you are) and please stop puking the urinals.

    Love, Tiffany

    May 13, 2008 at 9:46 am   rating: +1  

    • #10.1   Canthz_B

      The tone makes me weep! :cry:

      May 13, 2008 at 7:11 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #11   RunBarbara

    I like the equally PA “Conserve Energy” sticker on the light switch. Nothing says passive like a note and nothing says aggressive like safety orange.

    May 13, 2008 at 9:46 am   rating: +6  

    • #11.1   RandyinReno

      An unintended Two-fer. Excellent!

      May 13, 2008 at 11:28 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #11.2   PixelPerfect

      I like it! It’s so subtle.

      I’m going to start putting all my passive notes on little safety orange stickers.

      Then - not only are they aggressive because they are safety orange, but even more so because they are stuck to everything.

      Nothing says aggressive like that sticky glue residue that doesn’t come off, it just rolls around and leaves smear marks.

      May 13, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #11.3   karin

      I saw safety orange, heart-shaped post-it notes at Office Depot the other day… I shoulda bought them…

      May 13, 2008 at 11:09 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #12   claw71

    I hate when one puritanical twit gets on a high horse on behalf of everybody else.

    I’ve pondered this note for quite a while and considered a number of possibilities. The hand writing is neat, left justified and double spaced but it’s not frilly enough to belong to a woman. Most guys couldn’t care less about a little bathroom clutter so this wasn’t left by the average dorm-mate.

    I doubt it’s from a jealous homosexual because any self respecting gay guy would have taken a catty shot at the clothing in question. So that leaves Charlie Churchgoer and his leather clad thumping bible. He doesn’t approve of the collegiate debauchery but also lacks the ability to be direct so instead of confronting people for the wanton drinking and careless sex he picks on the indirect consequences. Why does this place always smell like beer? Can you have your girlfriend pick up her clothes? It wouldn’t hurt you to go to church on Sundays.

    The thing is, everybody in this dorm knows who posted the note and it is the civic duty of everybody on the floor to take action. I’d opt for an escalating series of pranks that would include cluing the pages of his text books together, dousing his room with buck lure, and defecating in his shoes.

    May 13, 2008 at 9:47 am   rating: +12  

    • #12.1   RunBarbara

      if he was really a churchgoer, don’t you think he would have used some clip art of the Pope or something?

      May 13, 2008 at 9:49 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #12.2   Quite Contrary

      No, no, no…make it religious pranks. Glue the pages of his bible together! And perhaps put a menorah in his window!

      PS What is buck lure? And should I be afraid of the answer?

      May 13, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #12.3   unholyghost2003

      QC, “Buck Lure” is Doe piss or at least something that smells like Doe piss.

      I knew a guy in college who was such an uptight “Charlie Church goer” that he made clothes to cover up the bikini clad ladies in his roommate’s posters.

      A good prank for this type, change his screen saver to hardcore porn and change his password. :twisted:
      Oh and RB, no he wouldn’t use Pope clip art … remember the Bible says “Judge not lest ye be judged.” So he wouldn’t “judge” their HORRIBLE SINFUL WAYS. GOD will judge them and they will all go to Hell,

      May 13, 2008 at 10:00 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #12.4   bellabeastie

      You DON’T even want to know the answer ..

      My Dad used to hunt when I was a little kid and he would use that nasty-smelling rank-ass shit to cover up his “human smell”. Supposedly so the deer would be attracted to/or wouldn’t notice him.

      Well if it worked for deer, it worked the opposite for humans. Just ask my Mom.

      May 13, 2008 at 10:03 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #12.5   claw71

      And let me make it very clear…I don’t hunt. To me buck lure=revenge.

      May 13, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #12.6   bellabeastie

      The worst kind of revenge.

      Eww - just stab me in the neck with a pencil and give me blood poisoning instead.

      Anything but buck-lure.

      (You know, there’s a zillion places we can go with this that are completely off-topic).

      Team Save It For Another Day ;0

      May 13, 2008 at 10:37 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #13   Quite Contrary

    It’s a t-shirt for god’s sake. Get a life. And get laid. Quickly, please. So we can be all harsh and judgemental when you get some action.

    May 13, 2008 at 9:49 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #14   Quite Contrary

    Dear Everyone Else Who Uses This Bathroom: I got laid last night. You didn’t. Deal.

    I’d sign “Love, Me” but I hate lying.

    May 13, 2008 at 9:55 am   rating: +5  

     
  • #15   se

    That slut was fucking delicious.

    May 13, 2008 at 10:07 am   rating: +2  

    • #15.1   unholyghost2003

      she must eat a lot of pineapple.

      May 13, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #15.2   pistola

      Is that why Hawaiian girls are so sweet?

      May 13, 2008 at 11:42 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #15.3   unholyghost2003

      maybe … depends what you mean by “sweet” ;)

      May 13, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #15.4   pistola

      I like the cut of you jib ghost.

      May 13, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #15.5   SavageCarmina

      UG, you made me laugh out loud. Bravo.

      May 13, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #15.6   known unknown

      me too.

      excuse me while I continue to weep, I learned about the benefits of pineapple from my own mother…

      May 13, 2008 at 11:54 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #16   p'chick

    Handwriting looks awful girly to me….

    May 13, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #17   lauraebk

    Yep. HAS to be a co-ed bathroom, or Lesbian Sex is being referred to. Guys dont notice anything in bathrooms.
    Has to be a note from a chick!

    May 13, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 0