a breakup note too long for a text message…though that might have a been more (fucking) appropriate.
related: you oughta know
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FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · breakup · cleveland · ex drama · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive
— laurie
"customer service" "helpful" advice a little patronizing actually totally reasonable all-staff e-mail anthropomorphism austin australia bathroom birthday blitzkrieg approach boston brooklyn california canada CAPS LOCK cleaning clip art catastrophe confusion??? crazypants d.c. dishes dogs e-mail ellipses-crazed etiquette ex drama excessive underlining exclamation-point happy! facebook family florida food frenemies garbage group bitchfest guilt trip heart highlighter holiday spirit hygiene illinois irregular capitalization jesus kids kitchen london los angeles martyr complex massachusetts mean girls meta michigan microwave moms & dads money more aggressive than passive music neighbors new york noise north carolina not-so-veiled threats now that's management odor office office fridge oh no you didn't oh snap old folks p.s. parking piss pleasantries as afterthought questionable logic raging against the machine rebuttals restaurant retail hell rhetorical question roommates saga san francisco sarcasm seattle sex sex sex shit signed with love smiley spelling and grammar police stealing texas thanks (but not really) that shit is disgusting TLDR toilet touching u.k. university unnecessary "quotation marks" unsolicited feedback virginia visual aids whiteboard wtf? you call that punctuation?
157 responses so far ↓
#1
park rose
Passive-aggressive breakup. Him, not her.
May 16, 2008 at 1:34 pm rating: +83
#2
S
wow! that is one heck of a break up note, thats not passive aggressive that’s just aggressive! Rightfully so, you give it to him sista!
May 16, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: +6
#3
Nate Sheets
But she has wonderful grammar!
May 16, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: +9
#4
zchamu
Excellent layout of the note – filled the whole page without overcrowding. Also, lovely handwriting. 9.2.
May 16, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: +55
#5
Nico
ZING
May 16, 2008 at 1:37 pm rating: +2
#6
Mishee
Yeah, well YOU have cellulite on your thighs, and you can’t suck a dick to save your life you fucking whore! Why do you think I left the phone OPEN?
May 16, 2008 at 1:38 pm rating: +35
#7
jarvis
She’s a better woman than I am. I would have sent those pics to his entire address book while he showered.
May 16, 2008 at 1:42 pm rating: +63
#8
amy d
He’s a douche. She’s fat. Put ‘em together you get a fat douche. Want some, anyone?
May 16, 2008 at 1:43 pm rating: +3
#9
KW
Wow. They’re both douches; team nobody.
May 16, 2008 at 1:44 pm rating: +18
#10
Tyler
Hmm, I don’t know. Where did we get a hold of this PA note? I don’t know if I quite believe it…even though there have been plenty of them which seem impossible, ie- Dressing room=restroom, porn movies in elevators, etc, I still don’t know how I feel about this one.
May 16, 2008 at 1:44 pm rating: +3
#11
RunBarbara
I told him to erase those pics after I sent them, I knew she would be jealous.
And you would be fat, too, if you just had his baby. WTF.
May 16, 2008 at 1:45 pm rating: +49
#12
Quite Contrary
I think she might be a little upset. But she does have lovely handwriting.
May 16, 2008 at 1:45 pm rating: +7
#13
john
naked fat chicks have no business having their pictures on someone’s cell phone. i blame her.
May 16, 2008 at 1:47 pm rating: +6
#14
Quite Contrary
I think this is what Sharpie means by “Writing out loud!”
May 16, 2008 at 1:48 pm rating: +41
#15
claw71
Hold on there people, why do we assume this note is from a woman?
“Douche” is traditionally man vernacular. I’ve heard women toss the word around as an insult but they were the same sort of women who weren’t taken aback by the dreaded “c” word.
This could be a situation where a bi-curious gentleman is having trouble making the committment to being a full-time butt pirate.
May 16, 2008 at 1:56 pm rating: +20
#16
pry
that’s nicer than it should have been.
May 16, 2008 at 1:57 pm rating: +2
#17
claw71
Baby, baby, baby…You got it all wrong…those are pictures of my mom.
May 16, 2008 at 1:58 pm rating: +28
#18
no one in particular
Apparently she doesn’t have an em dash key on her sharpie, so she had to use two hyphens instead. Sad.
May 16, 2008 at 2:05 pm rating: +27
#19
known unknown
how does she know that SHE’S not the ex?
I’m Team: When You Assume, You Make An Ass Out of U and Me But Thanks For The Shower And Grab Yourself A Sandwich While You’re Out, Slim.
May 16, 2008 at 2:29 pm rating: +3
#20
Canthz_B
All this needed was a smiley.
May 16, 2008 at 2:39 pm rating: +2
#21
KittyKat
Notice the correct usage of your and you’re and she’s? Even when stressed, she uses proper grammer. I like her. Dude IS totally a douche!
May 16, 2008 at 2:48 pm rating: +30
#22
claw71
Carrie Underwood:
Right now, he’s probably in the shower getting pubes on my loofa and using all my Pantene
Right now his phone’s vibrating and a picture pops up of big fat hoochie
Right now, he’s probably urinating in the tub because he’s a douche-bag dildo
But he don’t know
That I took a Sharpie to his collegiate-lined, Spiral notebook sitting off to the side
Of my brand new leather love seat
I used the f-word and made my point, told him to get out of this joint
Maybe I’ll take a walk to blow off steam.
May 16, 2008 at 2:58 pm rating: +39
#23
KittyKat
You know, if you think about it, equating men with douches is apropo. They both squirt fluid into vaginas.
May 16, 2008 at 3:04 pm rating: +5
#24
Cricket
I’ll never understand why women want to hurt each other by calling each other “fat”.
“fat” has overtaken “bitch” as the catalyst word for girl fights.
and WHY is this bitch insulting a chick who has FUCK ALL to do with this? the BOYFRIEND is an asshole for keeping those pics from a former life.
YOU are a stupid bitch for leaving a pass-agg note INSTEAD of being a WOMAN and confronting him TO HIS FACE.
no sympathy for you, bitch.
ps. you’re fucking fat, WTF?
May 16, 2008 at 3:06 pm rating: +18
#25
Melanie
Yes, because everyone knows that fat women are unloveable and should never, EVAR be photographed naked, much less touched or looked at!!! What was he THINKING?!?! WTF????
Team Ah, Fuck It.
May 16, 2008 at 3:08 pm rating: +26
#26
JPav
Aww hell… now I gotta know how it ends! Was he the fuck out of her apartment by the time she got back? WTF?
May 16, 2008 at 3:08 pm rating: +10
#27
fantasy
He is really going to want his ex-fatfuck now! Maybe he should use his porn phone to call her and let her know to get her fat ass in the shower because he will be over after getting the short shrift.
May 16, 2008 at 3:14 pm rating: +3
#28
Sharon J
She should have flushed the toilet.
May 16, 2008 at 3:15 pm rating: +11
#29
Katzndogz
I was totally with her till she made the fat comment. No grrl power for you! You’re on your own.
May 16, 2008 at 3:21 pm rating: +31
#30
Lisa
Hey, some dudes are just chubby chasers. Even fatties need some loving.
Team Don’t be Hatin’!
May 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm rating: +9
#31
KittyKat
How does the note-writer know that woman is his ex? Maybe it’s just a porno pic he downloaded . Maybe he gets off on fat chicks. She should watch out lest she become one.
Yeah, baby, let’s go out to eat. Oh yeah, baby, eat that lasagna. Don’t worry, they only use non-fat cheese here. Have another cannoli.
May 16, 2008 at 4:04 pm rating: +6
#32
skeezycheeses
TEAM Fat Girls Need Love Too!! And we’re real eager to please in the sack!
May 16, 2008 at 4:28 pm rating: +6
#33
pistola
My ex gf went through my phone once and erased a couple of girls names she didn’t recognize, and then months later had the balls to tell me about. I was beginning to wonder where my cousin’s numbers were when I wanted to call them around the holidays. Needless to say I don’t leave my phone unattended around nosey women anymore.
May 16, 2008 at 6:09 pm rating: +4
#34
owen
she would come back and find her house empty. lol
May 16, 2008 at 6:46 pm rating: 0
#35
angiers
The dude is a douche but the chick that wrote this note isn’t any better. Name calling is just immature.
May 16, 2008 at 6:47 pm rating: +4
#36
secondsout
Now, here’s a question for the guys. Just how many of us would load a naked pic of some fat girl onto a friend’s phone and set it as his backtop wallpaper as a joke? I would! I’ve done things like that, and my friends have done things like that to me. We had this picture of this one ugly girl (clothed, but she was an ugly girl we both new) that we kept setting up for each other to find. I set it as his desktop wallpaper once, his screen saver once, and I had his computer set to open up the picture every time he started the computer.
May 16, 2008 at 7:07 pm rating: +4
#37 A beneficio de inventario 05/17/2008 « A beneficio de inventario
[...] some dating advice [...]
May 16, 2008 at 11:21 pm rating: 0
#38
Tyler
I just realized: why was his phone not set to turn off the screen after a certain amount of time? Not only did he lose is girlfriend, but also drained his battery!!!
May 16, 2008 at 11:24 pm rating: +4
#39
RALPHY
Handwriting—–10
Content———–10
Losing it at the end and getting all emonional–Priceless
May 17, 2008 at 12:12 am rating: +5
#40 Naked Pics of Your Ex-Girlfriend Your Phone: Bad Idea | Toronto Dating Scene
[...] and apparently she’s not exactly [...]
May 17, 2008 at 4:22 am rating: 0
#41
claw71
And Reverend Dick wins with an Al Green reference.
May 17, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: 0
#42
orangebaby911
I’m fat but that is fucking delicious!
Team Fat- 1
Team walk it off- 0
clueless guy in the shower-??
Don’t hate the fat ones. Who else will be there to cook for you when you are hungry?
May 17, 2008 at 10:30 am rating: +2
#43
Wade
Sadly, it was a naked picture of the note writer.
She didn’t realize cell phone photos add 100 pounds.
May 17, 2008 at 10:46 am rating: +13
#44
Booger Eater
I don’t think he left his phone open. She’s a nosey bitch and I think he wanted her to see the pic anyway.
May 17, 2008 at 11:15 am rating: 0
#45
Beth
What, no clipart?
May 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm rating: 0
#46
Ivy
I would have said team note-writer, except that she seemed to say that the ex’s fatness implied his douchiness. Team photographed nude chik.
May 17, 2008 at 6:15 pm rating: +9
#47
Peps
What a lady… She deserves what she has gotten.
May 18, 2008 at 4:53 pm rating: 0
#48
Mung Bean
Brings up an interesting point: shouldn’t there be some kind of amnesty period in which someone in a new relationship is given adequate time to purge their shelves, webpages, and cell phones of all offending material in reference to the previous S.O.?
Whatever that deadline may be, I’m guessing this guy must’ve exceeded it. By a mile.
May 19, 2008 at 11:46 am rating: +3
#49
just me
I just simply wonder whether it is the same guy who on our second (and albeit last) date pulled out his phone and had a picture of his ex’s rather fabulous tits (I am pretty secure I don’t call other women fat) as the background. When I understandably had an issue with the picture he protested that “oh it’s over, it’s just a picture…it has been EIGHT MONTHS!”…then I definitely knew it wasn’t “just a picture.”
May 19, 2008 at 6:55 pm rating: +1
#50
tom
There’s nothing wrong with the man in the shower that a stiletto to the throat couldn’t cure.
May 23, 2008 at 9:43 pm rating: 0
#51
johntas
http://www.leonardnimoyphotography.com/7body.htm
May 25, 2008 at 12:42 pm rating: +2
#52
mccormicky
She didn’t trust him so she waited for an opportunity, opened his phone and got an eyeful. But he must have been bad in bed anyway otherwise she wouldn’t kick him out just for chubby pics.
Don’t be bad in bed, you can’t get away with anything.
May 31, 2008 at 3:02 am rating: 0
#53
Orannis
That’s not funny, my brother died that way.
Aug 17, 2008 at 2:23 pm rating: 0
#54
Dating Online in New York
strange, I love that message even if it’s a simple go away message
it’s so nicely written
Aug 17, 2008 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
#55 a little advice for the ladies
[...] related: some dating advice [...]
Feb 12, 2009 at 12:16 am rating: 0
#56 to have and to hold
[...] related: some dating advice [...]
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:10 pm rating: 0
#57
mietwagen
Sehr gute Seite. Ich habe es zu den Favoriten.
Mar 12, 2009 at 6:28 pm rating: 0
#58
WabaleleVal
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Oct 21, 2009 at 11:52 am rating: 0
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