Kasey in Tucson spotted this orgy of vending-machine notes in the Anthropology department of the University of Arizona. Says Kasey, “They just keep adding up. I think the Pepsi man is either amused by them or just doesn’t care.” Perhaps…or maybe he’s just hanging back until he has enough material for his dissertation on non-verbal communication among 21st century north americans.
related: Blame it on Coke
extra credit: “look up lithotripsy” [wikipedia]
130 responses so far ↓
#1
Sarah
You’re absolutely right, RJ. There’s no reason why they can’t stock the machine with Cokes. It isn’t branded with a huge Pepsi logo or anything.
RJ: passive-aggressively firing the latest salvo in the cola wars.
May 18, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: 90
#2
aaa
Oh my. That last note just made my day.
P.S. College does not give you the right to be an arrogant asshole (re: second note).
May 18, 2008 at 4:29 pm rating: 90
#3
SequinIssues
Oh, man. I’m so proud to be an Arizona Wildcat right now.
May 18, 2008 at 4:34 pm rating: 90
#4
zombieBlanco
Dear Jonny-
Juniors bin takin’ real good care a me since you bin away. I herd theys got machines in ta city with bottles o water an pop fer jist anyone to take. I never. ‘Member ta drink lots o water so ya dont git stones like ya did befor. Don’t forgit what I learnd you ’bout ta diffrence tween boy cows an girl cows.
love yer mom
May 18, 2008 at 4:38 pm rating: 90
#5
zchamu
“Could we obligate more slots for them?”
I do not think that word means what you think it means. I guess anthropologists don’t need a mandatory English credit to gradumeeyate.
May 18, 2008 at 4:41 pm rating: 90
#6
known unknown
This being in the anthropology dept just warms the cockles of my heart…
I am kind of in love with Note #2.
(even though Jonny’s intense use of scotch tape makes me want to dig out my “girl cow” costume and give him a go.)
May 18, 2008 at 4:54 pm rating: 90
#7
Emma
Oh lordy, the last one is so grand. Well, I never!
May 18, 2008 at 5:08 pm rating: 90
#8
fantasy
Pepsi Dude, ♥
I hope you are not offended, since you are a “Transgender, Pepsi drinkin’, truck drivin’ kinda’ girl?”
May 18, 2008 at 5:09 pm rating: 90
#9
zombieBlanco
I did look up lithotripsy:
the state of being really, really stoned
May 18, 2008 at 5:16 pm rating: 90
#10
fantasy
Dear Mr. Beer is Better,
Cirrhosis of the liver will kill you, your job, your family, your drivers license, your future wife, and the next generation of Pepsi drinkers!
Stones will never kill ya’!
May 18, 2008 at 5:19 pm rating: 90
#11
y
Maybe I missed something but.. What is up with the last note!?
May 18, 2008 at 6:42 pm rating: 90
#12
se
Doesn’t anyone find this first note strange?
He goes from “waters always sells out” to
“obligate more slots”.
Maybe a stupid person trying to sound intelligent?
May 18, 2008 at 10:03 pm rating: 90
#13
emily
I think he was trying to spell “allocate”.
May 18, 2008 at 10:20 pm rating: 90
#14
secondsout
I pass 3 stones a year. I have diarrhea about once a week. I vomit every other day. My hair falls out in clumps. It burns when I urinate. I haven’t had an erection in six months. I slur my words occasionally.
Nonetheless, I swear by raw pork, huffing paint fumes, tanning with an x-ray machine, and Tucson’s delicious tap water.
May 18, 2008 at 11:04 pm rating: 90
#15
S.S.
There seemed to be a theme to the notes until farm dude got lost in the way to the meat plant and ended up in a university.
WTF farm dude?
May 18, 2008 at 11:24 pm rating: 90
#16
Joel
Ah, the last note makes my day.
Even more so because it seems not everyone has gotten it.
May 19, 2008 at 5:58 am rating: 90
#17
claw71
The Pepsi Dude abides….barely.
May 19, 2008 at 6:17 am rating: 90
#18
Mishee
In America, you drink Pepsi….
In Soviet Russia, Pepsi drinks you!…
May 19, 2008 at 8:51 am rating: 90
#19
GhostWriter
!! Subliminal image alert !!
The 2nd pic (as well as the 1st) shows an erect member in the top right corner.
The 3rd pic’s background includes two huge shafts, and the 4th pic has tips popping out all over!
No wonder Johnny felt obligated to write home to Mommy.
May 19, 2008 at 9:04 am rating: 90
#20
Leo Davidson
May I stick a passive aggressive note upon this page itself?
You say “after the jump” BUT THERE IS NO JUMP! There may be one on the front page but not here. Kindly remove that confusing and annoying crap.
For ages I had never read one of these sites (there are many like it on differing topics) from the front page, instead only reading the full page articles that people sent me the URLs to. I kept reading this “after the jump” crap thinking it was inexplicably telling me that there was a photograph or some more text after the current paragraph of text, which seemed mighty odd.
If you cannot configure your software to remove the “after the jump” cruft, why not leave it out completely and just have “Read more…” links on the front page or something? I’m sure people will find the meaning obvious and understand the implication that there is indeed more behind the Read More link.
Yours passive aggressively,
Leo
May 19, 2008 at 9:05 am rating: 90
#21
Smackdown
Whoever wrote that Jonny letter needs to make out with me pronto.
May 19, 2008 at 9:49 am rating: 90
#22
claw71
I just wanted to mention that the vast majority of bottled water on the market today comes straight out of a tap from somewhere else. If you buy bottled water you are an idiot and you deserve kidney stones.
I would also like to point out that the mineral content of water has very little impact on the development of kidney/bladder stones. If you’re prone to stones blame mom and dad for giving you some lousy genetics and consider eating a healthier diet. Excessive fat, animal protein and sodium are the leading dietary causes and vitamin C taken in excess of 500mg per day can increase the levels of oxalate which is a key element in the formation of kidney stones.
So, in conclusion, if your urologist has a degree from the University of Arizona you might want to change networks.
May 19, 2008 at 10:08 am rating: 90
#23
claw71
I think somebody wants to touch my pee pee.
May 19, 2008 at 10:21 am rating: 90
#24
claw71
The ironic thing is that the so-called Pepsi Dude has a masters degree in anthropology from the University of Arizona. So does that waitress who took my order at IHOP 3:30 Saturday morning.
At least Jonny’s got a sense of humor and good comedic timing to fall back on, but the rest of these losers are going to be in for a rude awakening when they graduate.
May 19, 2008 at 10:25 am rating: 90
#25
Quite Contrary
The Pepsi man is thinking he’s really happy being him and better off for not going to college.
May 19, 2008 at 11:13 am rating: 90
#26
claw71
leotrina, please allow me to clarify my remarks:
I wasn’t implying that all Southerners are stupid. I also don’t assume that y’all watch NASCAR and buy everything at Wal-Mart.
It’s just that nobody does stupid quite as well as a Southerner. Sure, we’ve got plenty of hicks and rednecks in Ohio (most live in the southern part of the state) who do a good job acting stupid they’re bush league compared to the brand of stupid you’ve got going on below the Mason-Dixon Line. Living in the South I’m sure you understand where I’m coming from. That’s probably why you’re here.
Michigan is a state divided. To the North, they like their soda but the majority of people, who live in the southern part of the state, use the term “pop”.
That’s been credited to Faygo, a soft drink company out of Detroit. Pop came into the Midwestern parlance in the early 1900s when Faygo was still cool.
I like the term “pop” but generally I clarify what I want because I don’t want Orange Crush, Mountain Dew or some other odd beverage.
May 19, 2008 at 1:28 pm rating: 90
#27
leotrina
Claw,
Thanks for the clarification. I will concede that the south* does seem to have it’s own special take on stupid, but it has been my experience that stupid is global. Who knows though, maybe it originated in the southern part of this country, and spread from there (not unlike the useless Kudzu vine that continues to creep out of the deep south). The only reason I even felt compelled to comment was that somehow the south was getting drug into notes that have nothing to do with this region. We have enough stupid people to go around, we don’t need help from outside this region. Well, that and my personal belief that the use of the term “coke” doesn’t inherently make one any more or less stupid than the use of the term “pop”, “cola,” or “soda.”
BTW – Our use of the term “coke” has similar roots to your explanation of “pop”. Coca Cola has its roots in the south, Georgia to be exact. Specific brands are generally clarified when necessary.
That said – I love this site. I just stumbled upon it a few weeks ago, and I am addicted!
*South, when referring to the south of redneck stereotypes, typically does not include southwestern areas such as Arizona, southern California, and New Mexico.
May 19, 2008 at 3:05 pm rating: 90
#28
theobvious
The love for ‘Jonny’ – I have it. And Pepsi is disgusting, so go RJ.
Side question: is it possible to link one’s usual WordPress account with this site so that there would be no need to log on with a different username? ‘Cause we’re on WordPress anyway, and that would be very cool.
May 19, 2008 at 3:44 pm rating: 90
#29
andrew
stop drinking pepsi, cola, coke … water is best liquid for the organism. the worse thing is that we are drowned in commercials who tell you : pepsi ! cola ! pepsi ! cola ! after a while you will loose you decisional power because you will be brainwashed.
water ! the best liquid in the universe since the big bang !!! not since 1920 but since the big bang !!!
May 20, 2008 at 6:03 am rating: 90
#30
Dan
Michigan calling pop “coke”? What’s this crap? Coke? Soda? We call it pop!
If you couldn’t tell. :P~
May 20, 2008 at 6:41 am rating: 90
#31
Epi
Dear Pepsi Guy,
Thanks for not refunding my dollar…again…you douche!
Love,
The company that pays too much for your faulty vending machine.
May 20, 2008 at 11:11 am rating: 90
#32
Panther Modern
I’d rather drink a glass of 3 day old moldy diarrhea from an AIDS victim than Pepsi. Everyone knows that Dr Pepper is the most delicious non-alcoholic beverage, anyway.
May 20, 2008 at 4:38 pm rating: 90
#33
Amy
Team Jonny lol
May 20, 2008 at 4:41 pm rating: 90
#34
Magnus
HA! Love the last letter! Its from a movie called The Jerk. Go watch it!
May 21, 2008 at 8:47 am rating: 90
#35
allison
I live in Arizona. In fact, I attend the University of Arizona. We do not refer to all soda as “Coke.” “Coke” is reserved for actual Coca-Cola Classic. Pepsi is “Pepsi,” Diet Coke is “Diet Coke,” Sprite is “Sprite,” etc. Aside from the rural towns around Arizona, we are not hicks.
May 22, 2008 at 1:43 am rating: 90
#36
capital L
Leotrina: Kudzu is native to Japan and China and was only introduced to the south at the behest of the the Washington, DC based Soil Conservation Service (To prevent soil erosion).
To northerners and self-loathing southerners: stupid is everywhere, and the stupidest people I’ve ever personally met were not in the south.
I don’t call all sodas “cokes” but I often call tissue “Kleenex”, and all lip-balms are “Chap-stik.” It’s not that devastating. Get over yourself.
May 22, 2008 at 9:09 am rating: 90
#37
daniel
What in the…
Heya. I’m the guy who wrote the ‘johnny’ letter.
I just discovered a link to this site from a random blog I was reading. Nutty odds, those are, eh? I’m not a student, I’m a technician for the university (also an alum).
@magnus: it isn’t from The Jerk; it was just random flight of fancy. I looked up The Jerk online, though, and apparently he does write a letter home to the country in a similar vein.
A friend convinced me to make a blog, as an outlet for my scribblings that doesn’t deface vending machines. It isn’t fancy like this one, though, which I’m glad I found.
Thanks for the nice words!
May 22, 2008 at 4:31 pm rating: 90
#38
jam
I walked past these notes as they expanded in the Anthro Bld. it made my early Friday class almost worth it..
But really, this stupid machine is always out of freaking water bottles. Its 110 degrees here! And no, in AZ we don’t call all soda “Coke” Pepsi won the contract with the UA and most people seem to understand that.
May 22, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: 90
#39
Cute Shapara
Very intellectual joke.
I have seen this type of writings on my local vending machine too.
It was saying that Pepsi contains alcohol.
May 22, 2008 at 9:06 pm rating: 90
#40
Nicolas
In Europe Coke is the word for Cocaine. So yes let’s have cocaine dispenser in college.
May 23, 2008 at 4:54 am rating: 90
#41
tom
There’s nothing wrong with everyone in the South that a few punches to the throat couldn’t cure.
May 23, 2008 at 9:41 pm rating: 90
#42
kaylyn
to get back to southerners being stupid, we aren’t.
alot of the compaines out in the stock market are southern incase you didn’t know. and the sounth isn’t full of toothless rednecks sitting on their front porch with a shotgun in their arms. the south provides most of America’s food. We are more refined in the agricultural industry because the geography allowed us to.
And honestly northerners wouldnt be crap without us. You would starve and we would be fine.
May 26, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
#43
morpho aurora
glo –
Sometimes I get soo tired of people bashing Southerners. Not all of us are idiots. Too bad the idjits are usually the ones who shout the loudest defending us. Honestly, I could have done without kaylyn’s help.
May 26, 2008 at 11:40 pm rating: 90
#44
Sundance
Isn’t that Andy Griffith’s son? You know, the Southerner, Opie Taylor.
May 27, 2008 at 3:51 am rating: 90
#45
Phat girl
Don’t worry Kaylyn, not all yankees are as condesending as these. This is just where the angry ones go to vent. And really, don’t let their mean words get you down darlin’ just remember what Mama always told us when we traveled. We are all born southerners but there is a screening process which only allows the good looking ones to stay. It’s like when we’re born and we all have a penis but then the doctor administers the intelligence test and slaps that thing right off the smart ones and makes them girls. So don’t let their name calling hurt your feelings sweetie, they may call us “trash” but at least we get taken out once a week. Bless their hearts.
May 28, 2008 at 11:54 am rating: 90
#46
ryan
oh beer dude, i heart you
May 29, 2008 at 1:34 pm rating: 90
#47
Mom
Dear Son,
The meat factory sounds like a great opportunity. Please write me again soon, I shall bake you an apple pie.
Jul 16, 2008 at 2:38 pm rating: 90
#48
Sydney
fucking HI-larious. Love the Dear Mom note…. priceless
Aug 30, 2008 at 10:38 pm rating: 90
#49
urfhv ksbaetwyp
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Nov 29, 2008 at 7:08 pm rating: 90
#50
Jen
For the record, I’m from Canada and even way up here some people to use the word “Coke” to refer to Pepsi or any other brand of cola. I thought it was like that everywhere… So I didn’t think even notice the discrepancy until I saw the comments.
And yes, the Dear Mom letter is pretty much the best thing ever.
Dec 15, 2008 at 3:23 pm rating: 90
#51
Haley
oh my god.
I want to marry whomever wrote the last note.
Mar 13, 2009 at 5:33 am rating: 90
#52 the candyman can’t
[...] related: the pepsi challenge [...]
Mar 13, 2009 at 9:19 am rating: 90
#53
Matthew
Looks familiar. http://www.flickr.com/photos/suomynona/3050463886/
Mar 13, 2009 at 11:14 am rating: 90
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