Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

May 19th, 2008 · 111 comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted these notes in the shared kitchen of a “professional building” — one our submitter says is full of shrinks. Perhaps one of them could deduce whether “i.e. me” fits the DSM’s criteria for a diagnosis…or whether she’s just having a little trouble with her Latin.

i.e., me

related: eau dear
extra credit: “food odors at work” [chowhound.com]

FILED UNDER: casual xenophobia · food · Freudian shit · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · odor · office fridge · oh snap


111 responses so far ↓

  • #1   César

    nope, that’s not egomanical at all : )

    May 19, 2008 at 4:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   RunBarbara

    If you are ethnic, you can’t be professional. Boiled hot dogs and white bread for everyone!

    May 19, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   claw71 bang

      Don’t forget the mayo! White people be loving that mayo.

      May 19, 2008 at 4:52 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   RunBarbara

      No, Claw, ethnic people like mayo. White professionals like things from Whole Foods with no trans fat.

      May 19, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   claw71 bang

      Seriously, RB, the Republican Party has been saying that for years. Stupid Affirmative Action. Now we have Tyrone over there microwaving chitterlings.

      Why can’t you people eat turkey on white like the rest of us?

      May 19, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   RunBarbara bang

      Shouldn’t Tyrone be eating in the mail room with all of the other ethnics?

      May 19, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   claw71 bang

      Exactly!

      May 19, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Lyra bang

      I’m Cuban, but I hate mayo. But white bread is delicious. AND I’m a Republican.

      I am having an existential meltdown here!

      May 22, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   claw71 bang

    The smell of ethnic food cooking doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the smell of ethnic food digesting.

    May 19, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   jfruh

    Ha ha, everyone knows that “ethnic” and “professional” don’t mix. If your clients smell curry and/or salsa, they will immediately assume that they have wandered into some kind of bazaar run by illegal immigrants rather than a upstanding office building. Please, only non-odiferous WASP food, like baloney-and-mayo sandwiches, or delicious, nourishing unflavored gruel, from here on in.

    Josh

    Update: Argh, beaten to the punch by the much pithier RunBarbara!

    May 19, 2008 at 4:52 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   claw71 bang

      Actually a lot of companies buy curry air fresheners to create the illusion of a technologically proficient organization.

      Well they must know what they’re talking about, Stan. My jacket still smells like Chicken Tikka.

      May 19, 2008 at 4:55 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   RunBarbara bang

      I rub a little tandoori beef behind my ears before a hot date. I like to be exotic. You should see my naan panties.

      May 19, 2008 at 4:59 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   claw71 bang

      I’ve got some chutney for those panties.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   RunBarbara bang

      Promises, promises. I leave my window unlocked and my “fun drawer” open.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Sarah bang

      She should be happy. They’re not eating dangerous egg salad.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Lurker

      Naan panties = naanties. Just bein’ efficient.

      May 20, 2008 at 10:13 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   fink

      no such thing as tandoori beef…

      unless you’re referring to some american bastardization of indian food, of course

      May 20, 2008 at 1:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   RunBarbara bang

      there is also probably very little chance that i ever banged your mom in the bathroom until she was leaking clam chowder last night, but saying “your mom” is a funny joke, right?

      May 21, 2008 at 1:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   KittyKat

    All I will say is . . .

    Indian Hospital Cafeteria Food

    Use your imagination.

    May 19, 2008 at 4:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   claw71 bang

      Dots or feathers?

      May 19, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   KittyKat

      Dots – in India.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   RunBarbara bang

      When I use my imagination, I see myself in traction with Dr. Fuckstick spitting on a speculum asking me if Im ready for my exam…of course, he’s devastatingly wealthy and, as we all know Indians do, brings me 7-11 slurpees and wears a turban.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Quite Contrary bang

    Condescending and hypocritical. Yet no pink penises (or is it peni?) or clip art.

    Who here thinks a woman wrote it? And why?

    May 19, 2008 at 5:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   RunBarbara bang

      Women are entitled bitches that worry about how things smell. Men just want to scratch their balls and look at boobs. Unless they’re gay, then they want to scratch another mans balls and eat tandoori.
      So:
      Gay man or woman.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:25 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Mishee bang

      I think Peni would be acceptable

      May 19, 2008 at 5:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Quite Contrary bang

      Thanks, RB. Couldn’t have said it better myself. You can also add curry and brazilian food to the gay menu.

      May 19, 2008 at 10:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Lyra bang

      And possibly sushi/Starbucks. (Also for women.)

      May 22, 2008 at 3:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   secondsout bang

    Me, I like ethnic food. So I like the smell of an ethnic food fair. It beats the smell of a co-worker’s cheapshit cologne anyday.

    May 19, 2008 at 5:27 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   amazon bang

    I’m starting to think that office kitchens should be hermetically sealed with a double air lock to prevent noxious odors from escaping. Then we can cook all the fish and ethnic food we want, woo hoo!

    If we include a retinal scan at the entrance, we may even reduce some of that lunch theft. Maybe instead of one large fridge, we can get a bunch of individual mini-fridges with fingerprint ID. Then you can be as anal-retentive about the appearance of your fridge as you wish.

    World peace would surely follow.

    May 19, 2008 at 5:28 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   vimandvigor

      I read “rectal” instead of of “retinal”. Must have been all that ethnic food I ate for lunch.

      May 20, 2008 at 12:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      Isn’t all food “ethnic” to someone, or are some foods “normal” and others “ethnic”?
      I mean, I wouldn’t eat monkey brains, but it’s a delicacy in some places.
      I still find it hard to see my sirloin steak as a Sacred Cow, but that’s just me, not a reflection on anyone else.
      Curry your goat, just don’t put it on my plate!! :-P

      May 20, 2008 at 4:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   MJaz

      To quote Mr. Twain (Mark, that is)…
      “Sacred cows make the best hamburger.”

      May 20, 2008 at 8:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   KittyKat

      I ate barbecued goat once – it was delicious. So does it still count as ethnic food if you dump barbecue sauce on it?

      May 20, 2008 at 11:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   secondsout bang

      “Monkey’s brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, DC.”

      May 20, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   GhostWriter bang

      The Butler got it all wrong- the whole district is full of monkey-brains.

      May 20, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   KittyKat

      Nice!

      May 20, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   se

      The liver went well with a nice chardonnay

      May 20, 2008 at 8:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Sarah bang

    Think of me,
    all my dear colleagues
    when you make your food.

    Remember me,
    didn’t I tell you
    smelling it ain’t good?

    When you find
    that once again you long
    to cook your pungent ethnic meals,
    if you value your employment,
    spare a thought for me.

    I told you this place is professional,
    and, you know, I am guilty too,
    but if you don’t want to be fired,
    stop and think of me.

    May 19, 2008 at 5:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   amazon bang

      wow, we’ve gone all Broadway now. I like!

      May 19, 2008 at 5:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Lyra bang

      Love the Phantom reference.

      O-o-o-o-OOOOOOOOOOF MEEEE (and my closet racism/fear or curry)!

      May 22, 2008 at 3:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   secondsout bang

    “In the meantime, please tell all the ‘ethnic’ people who might be coming to the office, that there is a freight elevator by the loading dock. We have an image to maintain.

    Love, [black smudge]“

    May 19, 2008 at 5:30 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   RunBarbara bang

      PS: Have them carry up a leaking trashbag and put coveralls over their clothes.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   KittyKat

      Please use the ethnic-only fitting rooms for relieving yourself.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   RunBarbara bang

      And please film Chocolate Cream Pies 9 in the ethnic elevator

      May 19, 2008 at 5:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Mishee bang

      10.1 – Coveralls, as in a Unitard??

      May 19, 2008 at 5:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   RunBarbara bang

      Always, Mishee. The Unitard is a timeless one-piece branding of The Service Industry and a staple of ethnics world wide.

      May 19, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   any may

      wouldn’t that be “[white smudge]“?

      May 19, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Mishee bang

      Funny, I figured where you are at that the flag of an ethnic was cowboy boots, a flannel shirt, jeans, and a straw cowboy hat?

      Or a Mercedes in the case of the Dot Indians people were talking about somewhere… but that’s a little north of you – like here.

      May 19, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   RunBarbara bang

      Mishee, its usually a dirty Menudo t-shirt, jean shorts and those old school thick-tongued Nike’s that no one likes. Oh, and a huge wallet with pictures of godchildren.

      May 19, 2008 at 6:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   Mishee bang

      Hey you know them better than me! I can just tell here cause they are in a gardening truck with like, 5 people in the cab.

      May 19, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Zsa

    Anyone else notice that “I’m guilty too” is just different enough…
    Personality #2 is totally the guilty one and had to pop in with a comment.

    May 19, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Mishee bang

      Personality #2 out of how many though Zsa?

      For myself, it would’ve been personality #4 out of 16… she’s a guilty bitch…

      May 19, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Brat

    That intolerance was fucking delicious.

    May 19, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Cricket

    what the f, asshole note writer?

    P.S. EVERY food is “ethnic”, you dumbfuck.

    May 19, 2008 at 6:09 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   TJones

      What ethnic group is responsible for Fruit roll-ups?

      May 19, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   known unknown bang

      and she’s fucking fat! WTF?!

      May 19, 2008 at 6:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Crash bang

      So…would everyone be okay if I made a Limburger cheese sandwich here…?

      It’s not ethnic food, white people made it !?!
      :D

      May 19, 2008 at 7:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   aaa

      What about Ruben sandwiches? Also made by white people. Just don’t forget to add extra deliciously odoriferous sauerkraut. ‘Cuz you know, food from the birthplace of the super-whites can’t be ethnic.

      May 20, 2008 at 2:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Lyra bang

      Who is respinsible for the delicious abomination that is Jell-o?

      Although I suppose it is white. Which means…. Jell-o is maybe a European descendent?

      May 22, 2008 at 3:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   NoPunIntended bang

    Dear colleagues,
    Since we are no longer able to cook our “ethnic foods” I stole your whitebread sandwich. It was fucking delicious. I am not sorry, and you don’t get the smiley either.
    Thanks,
    Former “ethnic food” eater

    May 19, 2008 at 7:29 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   zenvelo

    no ethnic food, just microwave popcorn and microwave tuna casserole- THAT smells professional!

    May 19, 2008 at 7:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   se

      I would rather smell ethnic food cooking than microfuckingwave popcorn.

      May 19, 2008 at 8:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Crash bang

    So limburger chesse is professional !!

    May 19, 2008 at 8:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Agent Inspired

    I actually think that “i.e.” is the correct Latin and that the “think of others” is semi-sarcastic.

    “I actually just mean for you to think of me, but I’m trying to sound as politically correct as possible, so if you call me on it I’ll pretend I just screwed up the Latin.”

    May 19, 2008 at 10:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   raiseyourglass

    Your mother does not cook here. So until she does lay the hell off my lunch!

    May 19, 2008 at 10:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   TuesdayPillow

    What the hell is the point of this note? Please don’t eat anything that has an odor? What’s next – please don’t say anything that produces noise?

    May 20, 2008 at 12:04 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      Do we mean “odor” or “aroma” here?…just asking as is my nature. :-)

      May 20, 2008 at 5:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Epi

      Please do not make a noisy smell?

      May 20, 2008 at 11:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   aaa

      Please control your intestinal movements so as to not create any odoromas.

      May 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    Is Top Ramen ethnic smelling or is it just a starch and chemical-scented food-like substance?

    May 20, 2008 at 5:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   secondsout bang

      If you’re in college, it’s one of the four food groups, along with beer, pizza, and Boone’s.

      May 20, 2008 at 12:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   aaa

      Top Ramen’s not ethnic. Ramen isn’t ethnic until you start eating the Sapporo Ichiban stuff.

      That freeze-dried tofu was fucking delicious.

      May 20, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    Could everyone please only heat up my Mom’s tuna-noodle-casserole in our professional building? It reminds me of my childhood and makes my practice of proctology so much more bearable. Dad said it was a shitty choice, but who listens!

    May 20, 2008 at 5:11 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Lyra bang

      I’d think that heated tuna would stank something awful.

      May 22, 2008 at 3:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    Ethnic food = Soylent Green made of Third-Word people.

    May 20, 2008 at 5:38 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   fantasy bang

      that reminds me of B.B.Q. Gaza Strip steak.

      My favorite lunch to take to work.

      May 20, 2008 at 7:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry…That should be “Third-World people”. ;-)

      May 20, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   aaa

      How is ethnic Soylent Green? I’ve heard it varies from person to person.

      May 20, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   MJaz

    My solution was to bring one of those teeny spray cans of air freshener from Bath & Body works. Interestingly, more people bitched about the cucumber-melon (which WAS kind of nasty, ergo the reason I took it to work), than the ethnic food aroma.

    The can is small enough that no one knew who the culprit was, and I perfected the “innocent look”.

    Funny thing is, I got the idea from a pothead neighbor who used those sprays to cover up when she would light up in the ladies room. They work!

    May 20, 2008 at 8:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Mishee bang

      Take it from me, no they don’t.

      Pot permeates everything.

      I know from experience.

      (the only thing that comes close is the old toilet paper tube stuffed with dryer sheets – but even that has it’s limitations!)

      May 20, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Lyra bang

      I LOVE cucumber melon!
      ‘o’
      Bath & Body Works is made of excellence. (Except for their pineapple scent.)

      May 22, 2008 at 3:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Jeffrey

      What, no correction of Mishee’s incorrect apostrophe? Self-respect, anyone?

      Jun 16, 2008 at 11:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   RunBarbara bang

      No, she earned the right to abuse any punctuation she wants.

      Jun 16, 2008 at 11:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Mishee bang

      the difference is, Jeffrey (if that even is your real name!), that people here know that I know the correct way… and they also know that I am a pretty big stoner, who just the other day, got the letters in my last name wrong, so yes, as RB says, I have not only earned the right (being the Awesome Mishee that I am), but I also have excuses that the Grammar Nazis know about!

      Don’t hate me ’cause you ain’t me….

      Jun 16, 2008 at 11:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Sheepish bang

    Team Safety Orange Post It!

    May 20, 2008 at 10:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Garcy

    Things I learned here today:

    New expression I intend to torture my friends and family with:

    “Whatever curries your goat.”

    And note to self: Continue never working at an office. When I’m in my jammies at three in the afternoon diddling around on the Internets, nobody gives a flying *&#$ if I microwave me up some ethnic foods.

    The cats beg for some, but that’s about it. Depends on how ethnic the food is, though. There are some foods so ethnic even my tubbo cats won’t eat them. SNOBS.

    May 20, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   chopchop

      Note to MY self:

      Upon finding myself still not showered or dressed by happy hour and referring to pet feline in the plural (as in, “My ten cats stink up my house but I still don’t notice,”), it’s time to put down the Playstation controller and go get some fresh air.

      May 22, 2008 at 10:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   GhostWriter bang

    The notewriter’s problems stem from her hubris. “Please think of me when you bring food into the building.

    Sounds a little too much like, “Take and eat, do this in remembrance of me,” for my liking.

    May 20, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   aaa

      Well, you know it is the job of the superior race to quash anything that threatens the supremacy of the whites. The note-writer is just the latest leader of the war against the lesser races. We must remember this note-writer every time we stick it to the undesireables by eating our turkey on white with mayo.

      May 20, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   GhostWriter bang

    Keeping with the ecumenical theme…

    Sister Gloria was worn out. She had labored in the gardens from sun-up to Noon. The lot of them were covered with sweat, dirt and straw.

    “Quickly, sisters!” implored Mother Angelica. “We must get back to the convent, and into clean garments.” Angelica constantly worried that the Monsignor might see the sisters with black smudges on their clothes, and disapprove.

    Sister Gloria wondered why it was so important to return to the convent, when each sister already had a change of clothes with them in the cart. …one of the odd rules Mother Angelica enforced. Gloria hadn’t eaten since last evening, and she was well aware of a villager’s market just around the corner. Whenever nuns wandered through the market, they were offered gifts of fine fruits and vegetables, even cuts of chicken and beef. Gloria couldn’t recall the last time they served beef at the convent.

    Sister Gloria turned to the stern Mother, and hesitatingly spoke. “I think I speak for all the Sisters, Mother, when I ask, Please- lets change our habits around food here?

    May 20, 2008 at 12:18 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   amazon bang

      *badumpt ching*

      May 20, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   JohnnyB

    Agent Inspired”
    “I actually think that “i.e.” is the correct Latin and that the “think of others” is semi-sarcastic.” I believe the writer was thinking of himself (or herself, but intended to put “e.g.” The “i.e.” was a Fruedian slip.

    May 20, 2008 at 1:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   bando

    We’re not allowed to have a microwave at my office for this very reason. Yet – the bossman smokes in his office all day. Go figure!

    May 20, 2008 at 2:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   summer

      TOTAL BULLSHIT, quit if you can.

      May 20, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   aaa

    If I saw this, I would eat nachos (Americanized version, meaning the plastic-cheese kind you get at sports events) at least twice a day every day and camp out in the bathroom closest to this tool’s office.

    May 20, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   aaa

    P.S.

    I think the Food Nazi definitely means “i.e.” and not “e.g.” It’s obvious they only give a shit about themselves, so why would they use themselves only as an example? That would imply that there were others bothered and surely the Food Nazi is too self-absorbed to give thought to anyone else.

    May 20, 2008 at 3:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   erik

    the i.e. is correct, but the writer doesn’t know the difference anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

    May 20, 2008 at 6:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   summer

    people are so fucking weird about food smells. I am one of those white people who eat food from trader joes with no trans fat, but believe you me when i crack open anything in my office there is one woman who bugs out about the smell. EATING IS HEALTHY!!! She doesn’t eat a thing all day so maybe she’s just jealous. TEAM EAT ANYFUCKINGTHINGYOU WANT at WORK!!

    May 20, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   summer

    ooohh this note hit a nerve in me, i’ll take you up on that group therapy!!!

    May 20, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   aaa

    I bet that the person who wrote the note was this chick. She doesn’t have enough money to fix her awful boob job since she spent all her cash on getting the implants and is thusly relegated to eating Wonderbread and off-brand macaroni and is jealous of all the delicious ethnic food she can’t afford to eat.

    May 20, 2008 at 11:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Eli

      DAMN! That is a bad boob job if I’ve ever seen one. She should sue her doctor for malpractice… he was probably coked up on “ethnic” food at the time.

      Jun 9, 2008 at 2:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   tom

    There’s nothing wrong with the writer of that first note that a few punches to the throat couldn’t straighten out.

    May 23, 2008 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Crash bang

      There’s nothing wrong with tom that a stiletto to the throat couldn’t cure…

      May 23, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Kristi

    The use of the word “around” in such a shrinky way (“let’s change our habits around food…”) adds the perfect finishing P-A touch to this hilarious note.

    Club Roasted Goat with Anchovies!

    Jun 1, 2008 at 10:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   cricket bang

    wait, no ethnic food?

    I guess this means I can’t eat your brains with fava beans and a nice chianti?

    Jun 1, 2008 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Mishee bang

      getting your movies mixed up? I believe he ate the brains in Hannibal… but with fava beans he had to pair the Chianti with liver….

      Jun 1, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   cabezon

    well, thank god it wasn’t fish sticks

    Jun 1, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   jenn

    um WT F does this crack pot poorly used grammar fiend think he-she is doing? I say this person is a persona non grata oh and a big fuck you to the “ethnic foods” ill eat my chicken tikka masala whenever and wherever i want, thats including your stupid office!

    Jun 4, 2008 at 3:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Olivia bang

    I have to side with Pissed-Off Shrink #1. I can just imagine the smells that waft into her/his office. :-(

    Jun 9, 2008 at 3:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Kate

    I once had a boss that banned us from making popcorn in the microwave during work hours. He said it reminded him of a skeezy movie theater. It sort of made me wonder what sort of theaters he was frequenting…

    I do hate it when people in my office heat up fish in the microwave. Luckily, microwaves are banned on our floor anyway, but there is always that wonderful person who heats up their food on another floor and brings it back to ours. There’s nothing like the pungent tang of day-old halibut to awaken your senses in the middle of the day.

    Jul 9, 2008 at 4:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   fight or flight | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

    [...] perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy? digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit!   stumble it!   function fbs_click() { [...]

    Jul 28, 2008 at 10:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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