our anonymous submitter spotted these notes in the shared kitchen of a “professional building” — one our submitter says is full of shrinks. perhaps one of them could deduce whether “i.e. me” fits the DSM’s criteria for a diagnosis…or whether she’s just having a little trouble with her latin.
related: eau dear
extra credit: “food odors at work” [chowhound.com]
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
112 responses so far ↓
#1 César
nope, that’s not egomanical at all : )
May 19, 2008 at 4:31 pm rating: +2
#2 RunBarbara
If you are ethnic, you can’t be professional. Boiled hot dogs and white bread for everyone!
May 19, 2008 at 4:51 pm rating: +18
#3 claw71
The smell of ethnic food cooking doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the smell of ethnic food digesting.
May 19, 2008 at 4:51 pm rating: +13
#4 jfruh
Ha ha, everyone knows that “ethnic” and “professional” don’t mix. If your clients smell curry and/or salsa, they will immediately assume that they have wandered into some kind of bazaar run by illegal immigrants rather than a upstanding office building. Please, only non-odiferous WASP food, like baloney-and-mayo sandwiches, or delicious, nourishing unflavored gruel, from here on in.
Josh
Update: Argh, beaten to the punch by the much pithier RunBarbara!
May 19, 2008 at 4:52 pm rating: +9
#5 KittyKat
All I will say is . . .
Indian Hospital Cafeteria Food
Use your imagination.
May 19, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 0
#6 Quite Contrary
Condescending and hypocritical. Yet no pink penises (or is it peni?) or clip art.
Who here thinks a woman wrote it? And why?
May 19, 2008 at 5:24 pm rating: +1
#7 secondsout
Me, I like ethnic food. So I like the smell of an ethnic food fair. It beats the smell of a co-worker’s cheapshit cologne anyday.
May 19, 2008 at 5:27 pm rating: +10
#8 amazon
I’m starting to think that office kitchens should be hermetically sealed with a double air lock to prevent noxious odors from escaping. Then we can cook all the fish and ethnic food we want, woo hoo!
If we include a retinal scan at the entrance, we may even reduce some of that lunch theft. Maybe instead of one large fridge, we can get a bunch of individual mini-fridges with fingerprint ID. Then you can be as anal-retentive about the appearance of your fridge as you wish.
World peace would surely follow.
May 19, 2008 at 5:28 pm rating: +18
#9 Sarah
Think of me,
all my dear colleagues
when you make your food.
Remember me,
didn’t I tell you
smelling it ain’t good?
When you find
that once again you long
to cook your pungent ethnic meals,
if you value your employment,
spare a thought for me.
I told you this place is professional,
and, you know, I am guilty too,
but if you don’t want to be fired,
stop and think of me.
May 19, 2008 at 5:29 pm rating: +5
#10 secondsout
“In the meantime, please tell all the ‘ethnic’ people who might be coming to the office, that there is a freight elevator by the loading dock. We have an image to maintain.
Love, [black smudge]“
May 19, 2008 at 5:30 pm rating: +17
#11 Zsa
Anyone else notice that “I’m guilty too” is just different enough…
Personality #2 is totally the guilty one and had to pop in with a comment.
May 19, 2008 at 5:57 pm rating: +1
#12 Brat
That intolerance was fucking delicious.
May 19, 2008 at 6:04 pm rating: +2
#13 Cricket
what the f, asshole note writer?
P.S. EVERY food is “ethnic”, you dumbfuck.
May 19, 2008 at 6:09 pm rating: +5
#14 NoPunIntended
Dear colleagues,
Since we are no longer able to cook our “ethnic foods” I stole your whitebread sandwich. It was fucking delicious. I am not sorry, and you don’t get the smiley either.
Thanks,
Former “ethnic food” eater
May 19, 2008 at 7:29 pm rating: +5
#15 zenvelo
no ethnic food, just microwave popcorn and microwave tuna casserole- THAT smells professional!
May 19, 2008 at 7:55 pm rating: +3
#16 Crash
So limburger chesse is professional !!
May 19, 2008 at 8:09 pm rating: 0
#17 Agent Inspired
I actually think that “i.e.” is the correct Latin and that the “think of others” is semi-sarcastic.
“I actually just mean for you to think of me, but I’m trying to sound as politically correct as possible, so if you call me on it I’ll pretend I just screwed up the Latin.”
May 19, 2008 at 10:11 pm rating: +3
#18 raiseyourglass
Your mother does not cook here. So until she does lay the hell off my lunch!
May 19, 2008 at 10:47 pm rating: 0
#19 TuesdayPillow
What the hell is the point of this note? Please don’t eat anything that has an odor? What’s next - please don’t say anything that produces noise?
May 20, 2008 at 12:04 am rating: +8
#20 Canthz_B
Is Top Ramen ethnic smelling or is it just a starch and chemical-scented food-like substance?
May 20, 2008 at 5:04 am rating: +2