Or at least pass the sports section under the door

May 26th, 2008 · 66 comments

“I work for a pretty awesome non-profit, where people are amazingly laidback, accepting and non-OCD,” says our anonymous submitter in San Francisco — so this note came as something of a surprise.

This is not a reading room. Those who OFTEN wait somewhat patiently for the restroom to be free would appreciate it if everyone would keep that in mind. THANK YOU

Adds our submitter: “I have to admit, seeing the newspaper on top of the toilet tank the previous week had kinda gotten on my nerves too.”

related: oh dear

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · newspaper · office · San Francisco · toilet


66 responses so far ↓

  • #1   zombieBlanco bang

    This is not a reading room. Those who always wait in agony for the restroom to be free would appreciate it if everyone would shit and then get off the pot.

    May 27, 2008 at 12:09 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   bellabeastie

      Is there just “The” restroom? Is there not more than one?? I realize that this is a non-profit organization, but couldn’t they spring for more than one restroom?

      As far as a Reading Room goes, I believe the Christian Scientists have the skinny on that…

      Oh, and thank you.

      May 27, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   RunBarbara bang

      This comment references a note not yet posted. Trust me, though, it’s funny:
      “If you have a bathroom emergency, please see Casey in HR for the key”

      May 27, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   secondsout bang

      I figured that this is posted in the Christian Science building. As in, “this is not the reading room; the whole rest of the goddamn building is.”

      May 27, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Mishee bang

      Ummm… Casey… I…. NEEEEED…. THE KEY NOW!

      Oh damn! Does HR or Janitorial handle something like this?

      May 27, 2008 at 3:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   secondsout bang

      Depends on how long you wait for the key. Janitorial will have to handle it if you can’t get in quick enough.

      May 27, 2008 at 4:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Mishee bang

      It’s already too late. I was just wondering if janitorial will handle it, or if it is an HR issue cause it involves an emoloyee accident.

      May 27, 2008 at 4:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Wade bang

    Sadly, in the time it took to read through the entire note, three fellow employees crapped their pants.

    May 27, 2008 at 12:13 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   bellabeastie

      Ewww – that is such a boy thing. I notice you said “fellow” employees.

      May 27, 2008 at 12:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   English Fail

      lol :D

      http://englishfail.wordpress.com

      May 27, 2008 at 1:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Wade bang

      :roll:

      other

      ;)

      May 27, 2008 at 1:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   amy d bang

      I don’t think you succeeded in digging yourself out of that hole, Wade.

      May 27, 2008 at 2:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   GhostWriter bang

    This all started when Herbie saw the Virgin Mary in his floating turd. Now people are flocking to the stall, hoping for a free psychic reading.

    The newspaper is being used to capture and examine possible relics-to-be. So far, Wanda found a silhouette that resembles Jack Klugman, but that’s about it.

    May 27, 2008 at 12:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   RunBarbara bang

    Okay, I wont read. But is it still cool if I do a few lines and give some bjs?

    May 27, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   secondsout bang

      Are you asking my opinion? Yes, that’s totally still cool!

      May 27, 2008 at 2:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Mishee bang

      Will it make sure that my coffee is good tasting? Well, then yes!

      May 27, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   RunBarbara

      Mishee, I make no one’s coffee. Second, you are welcome to crawl into my stall anytime. On second thought, you too Mishee- we can make our own little Mardi Gras.

      May 27, 2008 at 4:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Mishee bang

      I’ve got the beads right here, but you know what you gotta do to earn ‘em honey!

      May 27, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   amy d bang

      Even though the subject is Mardi Gras, I fear Mishee is referring to Ben Wa.

      May 27, 2008 at 4:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Mishee bang

      Thanks ames, I had to google that shit… now Mr. Mishee is gonna wonder why the fuck I was googling that!

      Well, on second thought, thanks, he might think I think he isn’t doing his job… so it will just make him try a little harder… heh

      May 27, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   aflirtycatastrophe

    What has this world come to? Now people can’t sit on the toilet and read a novel while taking a crap at work?

    May 27, 2008 at 1:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Sundance bang

    Since when isn’t the restroom free?

    Are they still charging dimes? Crawl under, silly.

    May 27, 2008 at 1:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   amy d bang

    Ahhh, truth in passive aggression.

    I love the phrase somewhat patiently , as well as the smaller font used for the thank you . They are only somewhat thankful that we took the time to read the note.

    May 27, 2008 at 1:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   amy d bang

    Good luck with that since June 9th marks the beginning of National Bathroom Reading Week!

    I would include a link, but there is spam paranoia raging thanks to a recent spam-bot.

    May 27, 2008 at 1:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Zsa

    this note almost appeared at my office too. When the “ladies” on staff increased from 4 to 6, some were very offended that there was occasionally a wait (2 stalls).
    Come on ladies~ if we can get our cycles in sync why can’t we un-sync our bowels?

    May 27, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   se

    “often wait somewhat patiently” implies that at least some of the time there is no patience at all.
    Would make it uncomfortable to dump with someone outside the stall door screaming at you to “get a move on”.

    May 27, 2008 at 2:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   KittyKat

      That’s what I was thinking. If you start banging on the door yelling “WTF?! Did you fall in?!” I bet they would find somewhere else to read.

      May 27, 2008 at 2:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   secondsout bang

      Good point. Just imagine the impatient person outside shouting, “five minutes is long enough. Pinch and wipe, yo!”

      May 27, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Surgeon General

      says eat more fruits, vegetables, beans and nuts: get a move on.

      May 27, 2008 at 5:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      Should that be “Get a movement on”? :?:

      May 27, 2008 at 6:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   zombieBlanco bang

      CB: on ?

      May 27, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   claw71 bang

    I’m all for using magnetic badges to manage everything restroom related. Not only could we monitor time in and time out, by applying this technology to the actuators on each fixture we’d be able to determine who fails to flush consistently and who doesn’t wash their hands.

    It’s a little Orwellian but I think it’s for the best.

    May 27, 2008 at 2:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   claw71 bang

      Speaking of Orwellian, what’s up with the editing feature? Time clocks and this sinsister dark screen with a floating text box? Creepy.

      May 27, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   se

      We don’t need no stinkin batches

      May 27, 2008 at 3:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   RandyinReno

      I thought they said “Would someone light some matches!”

      May 27, 2008 at 3:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   claw71 bang

    I think it’s safe to say that the anonymous submitter shit his pants before he wrote this note.

    May 27, 2008 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   secondsout bang

    OK, maybe it’s not a reading room. What about a video room? Can I take my iPod and watch videos? Maybe play video games? Can I surf the net and post snarky comments on passiveaggressivenotes.com?

    My dumps require entertainment, dammit!

    May 27, 2008 at 2:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   RunBarbara

      Im American. I must be entertained, or en route to entertainment, at all times.

      May 27, 2008 at 4:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   fink

      Please refrain from surfing in the toilet.

      Thanks,

      Yahoo!

      May 28, 2008 at 5:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   NoPunIntended bang

    If I were to write the note…

    I’ve got shit to take care of, hurry it up!

    Thank you.

    May 27, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Odd that someone would post a note asking people to not read.

    May 27, 2008 at 4:03 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Mishee bang

      CB – I miss you. And that one just made me LOL a few times.

      May 27, 2008 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   zombieBlanco bang

      CB- ♥

      May 27, 2008 at 5:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   QTReader

    Restroom, reading room, what’s the difference?

    May 27, 2008 at 4:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   claw71 bang

    My restroom beef is when I’m in there for my pre-lunch wank and some fat bastard in the next stall is farting loudly and stinking up the joint. It’s like sleeping with my wife, which is why I’m in the stall trying rub one out in the first place.

    May 27, 2008 at 4:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Sundance bang

      Team courtesy-flush

      May 27, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Mishee bang

      I could’ve sworn that was YOU in the next stall over claw! I mean, when you eat other people’s food, sometimes it doesn’t agree with you!

      May 27, 2008 at 4:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   secondsout bang

      So is Mishee laying a stinky deuce in the men’s room, or claw wanking in the women’s room? More importantly, is it the men’s or women’s room where RB is giving the BJs? I don’t want to be late for that one; the other two, I can skip. Were I to smell what Mishee half-digested, I might puke in the urinal, and that is just against the rules.

      May 27, 2008 at 5:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Mishee bang

      Hey now, I COMPLETELY digest everything I eat… you can’t even tell when I’ve had corn the night before!! And, as far as I know, my shit don’t stink. At least everyone tells me I act like that… well, why do you think I act like that? Duh!

      (and now that I read my previous comment, I get why you think it was me… no, I think claw was lying and saying he was the one pulling his pud while smellin that, but in reality, HE was the one droppin’ bombs!)

      May 27, 2008 at 5:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   amy d bang

    This is re: 17, don’t know how I missed the “reply to this”

    Double entendre on restroom beef: +5 points

    Mention of fat bastard bringing the character from Austin Powers to mind: -3 points

    use of multiple vivid phrases: +6 points

    use of “trying to rub one out” as a euphemism for male masturbation: -6 points

    Overall Score: +2

    May 27, 2008 at 4:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Mishee bang

      I was actually imagining the “fat bastard” trying to eat a midget, and then not remembering eating any corn… I give it +4 for the Austin Powers reference!

      May 27, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   amy d bang

      I would have given + points for that reference, if it had been intentional. I gave negative points because it should have been.

      May 27, 2008 at 4:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    I say read on.
    Otherwise you’re left sitting there with that pathetic look that the dog gets on his face when he’s doing his business.

    May 27, 2008 at 4:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Numinous bang

      I don’t know what kind of dog you have, but my dogs do not get a pathetic look when they’re going potty.

      Of course, I now have an image in my head of a person sitting on the john with that ashamed beaten dog look on his face. I figure he’s thinking something like, ” Is it worse for my coworkers to think I’m reading a book or taking a massive dump in here?!? I’m screwed either way.”

      May 27, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Canthz_B bang

      Probably has more to do with personality than with breed I would think. :roll:

      May 27, 2008 at 10:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Crash bang

    I must have misread the restroom sign …
    I thought it actually implied that it was a “rest-room”… :?

    May 27, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   RALPHY

    Kudos for using all caps and thanking you at the end, but I’m not sure that the time it takes to take a massive dump is directly proportional to the amount of reading matter available. I’ve found that if you don’t get up when finnished, the dingle berrys stuck to the ass hair get cold and uncomfortable. Just an observation.

    May 27, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      Hmm, time for a dietary adjustment there! ;-)

      Try using the “Is my leg asleep yet?” approach.

      May 27, 2008 at 11:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   cricket bang

    if you’re gonna leave “reading materials” behind, make it good…like MAD Magazine.

    this stop whining and stop making people feel bad, bitchface. we can’t all be super poopers like you.

    be glad they’re just reading and NOT on their laptops.

    May 28, 2008 at 1:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   TuesdayPillow

    I would OFTEN smear poop on that note whenever the mood struck me.

    May 28, 2008 at 3:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   johnO

    Doesn’t this seem a little extra passive with the ‘waiting somewhat patiently’ comment? I think a new tag is in order, like “less aggressive, more like a whiny doormat” or something.

    May 28, 2008 at 6:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   mrs mls

    Oh man. I’m a female librarian in a law firm. When sections of the newspaper are missing I have to ask a male staff member to check the men’s room – 75% of the time that’s where it’s at.

    The other 25% of the time it’s in the breakroom.

    I’m sure some cross contamination’s going on.

    May 28, 2008 at 1:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Matt Algren

      Ew.

      But yeah, we always have something to read in the restroom. Sometimes people even print things off the internet to take in there for the other guys later in the day.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Boniva

    “People who experience shame or guilt in connection with elimination, particularly defecation, very often must take their minds off the act in order to defecate at all. Otherwise, tensions produced by guilt or ugliness associated with the act will prevent completion. One of the most common methods of accomplishing this is reading.”

    “It has been suggested by some psychologists that reading also serves as a symbolic way of replacing the material lost through defecation and helps to prolong the act of defecation and the consequent loss.”
    Alexander Kira, The Bathroom

    May 29, 2008 at 9:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Russ

    How exactly does one know what is going on in the bathroom when they are not inside of it??

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Jun 7, 2008 at 3:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   TMI all around | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: or at least pass the sports section under the door [...]

    Nov 17, 2011 at 6:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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