“I work for a pretty awesome non-profit, where people are amazingly laidback, accepting and non-OCD,” says our anonymous submitter in San Francisco — so this note came as something of a surprise.
Adds our submitter: “I have to admit, seeing the newspaper on top of the toilet tank the previous week had kinda gotten on my nerves too.”
related: oh dear
66 responses so far ↓
#1
zombieBlanco
This is not a reading room. Those who always wait in agony for the restroom to be free would appreciate it if everyone would shit and then get off the pot.
May 27, 2008 at 12:09 pm rating: 13
#2
Wade
Sadly, in the time it took to read through the entire note, three fellow employees crapped their pants.
May 27, 2008 at 12:13 pm rating: 18
#3
GhostWriter
This all started when Herbie saw the Virgin Mary in his floating turd. Now people are flocking to the stall, hoping for a free psychic reading.
The newspaper is being used to capture and examine possible relics-to-be. So far, Wanda found a silhouette that resembles Jack Klugman, but that’s about it.
May 27, 2008 at 12:47 pm rating: 2
#4
RunBarbara
Okay, I wont read. But is it still cool if I do a few lines and give some bjs?
May 27, 2008 at 12:50 pm rating: 11
#5
aflirtycatastrophe
What has this world come to? Now people can’t sit on the toilet and read a novel while taking a crap at work?
May 27, 2008 at 1:19 pm rating: 0
#6
Sundance
Since when isn’t the restroom free?
Are they still charging dimes? Crawl under, silly.
May 27, 2008 at 1:32 pm rating: 2
#7
amy d
Ahhh, truth in passive aggression.
I love the phrase somewhat patiently , as well as the smaller font used for the thank you . They are only somewhat thankful that we took the time to read the note.
May 27, 2008 at 1:50 pm rating: 3
#8
amy d
Good luck with that since June 9th marks the beginning of National Bathroom Reading Week!
I would include a link, but there is spam paranoia raging thanks to a recent spam-bot.
May 27, 2008 at 1:55 pm rating: 0
#9
Zsa
this note almost appeared at my office too. When the “ladies” on staff increased from 4 to 6, some were very offended that there was occasionally a wait (2 stalls).
Come on ladies~ if we can get our cycles in sync why can’t we un-sync our bowels?
May 27, 2008 at 1:58 pm rating: 5
#10
se
“often wait somewhat patiently” implies that at least some of the time there is no patience at all.
Would make it uncomfortable to dump with someone outside the stall door screaming at you to “get a move on”.
May 27, 2008 at 2:19 pm rating: 2
#11
claw71
I’m all for using magnetic badges to manage everything restroom related. Not only could we monitor time in and time out, by applying this technology to the actuators on each fixture we’d be able to determine who fails to flush consistently and who doesn’t wash their hands.
It’s a little Orwellian but I think it’s for the best.
May 27, 2008 at 2:44 pm rating: 4
#12
claw71
I think it’s safe to say that the anonymous submitter shit his pants before he wrote this note.
May 27, 2008 at 2:47 pm rating: 1
#13
secondsout
OK, maybe it’s not a reading room. What about a video room? Can I take my iPod and watch videos? Maybe play video games? Can I surf the net and post snarky comments on passiveaggressivenotes.com?
My dumps require entertainment, dammit!
May 27, 2008 at 2:56 pm rating: 1
#14
NoPunIntended
If I were to write the note…
I’ve got shit to take care of, hurry it up!
Thank you.
May 27, 2008 at 3:53 pm rating: 1
#15
Canthz_B
Odd that someone would post a note asking people to not read.
May 27, 2008 at 4:03 pm rating: 15
#16
QTReader
Restroom, reading room, what’s the difference?
May 27, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: 1
#17
claw71
My restroom beef is when I’m in there for my pre-lunch wank and some fat bastard in the next stall is farting loudly and stinking up the joint. It’s like sleeping with my wife, which is why I’m in the stall trying rub one out in the first place.
May 27, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: 8
#18
amy d
This is re: 17, don’t know how I missed the “reply to this”
Double entendre on restroom beef: +5 points
Mention of fat bastard bringing the character from Austin Powers to mind: -3 points
use of multiple vivid phrases: +6 points
use of “trying to rub one out” as a euphemism for male masturbation: -6 points
Overall Score: +2
May 27, 2008 at 4:34 pm rating: 2
#19
Canthz_B
I say read on.
Otherwise you’re left sitting there with that pathetic look that the dog gets on his face when he’s doing his business.
May 27, 2008 at 4:38 pm rating: 1
#20
Crash
I must have misread the restroom sign …
I thought it actually implied that it was a “rest-room”…
May 27, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: 0
#21
RALPHY
Kudos for using all caps and thanking you at the end, but I’m not sure that the time it takes to take a massive dump is directly proportional to the amount of reading matter available. I’ve found that if you don’t get up when finnished, the dingle berrys stuck to the ass hair get cold and uncomfortable. Just an observation.
May 27, 2008 at 9:50 pm rating: 0
#22
cricket
if you’re gonna leave “reading materials” behind, make it good…like MAD Magazine.
this stop whining and stop making people feel bad, bitchface. we can’t all be super poopers like you.
be glad they’re just reading and NOT on their laptops.
May 28, 2008 at 1:17 am rating: 3
#23
TuesdayPillow
I would OFTEN smear poop on that note whenever the mood struck me.
May 28, 2008 at 3:57 am rating: 0
#24
johnO
Doesn’t this seem a little extra passive with the ‘waiting somewhat patiently’ comment? I think a new tag is in order, like “less aggressive, more like a whiny doormat” or something.
May 28, 2008 at 6:12 am rating: 2
#25
mrs mls
Oh man. I’m a female librarian in a law firm. When sections of the newspaper are missing I have to ask a male staff member to check the men’s room – 75% of the time that’s where it’s at.
The other 25% of the time it’s in the breakroom.
I’m sure some cross contamination’s going on.
May 28, 2008 at 1:32 pm rating: 0
#26
Boniva
“People who experience shame or guilt in connection with elimination, particularly defecation, very often must take their minds off the act in order to defecate at all. Otherwise, tensions produced by guilt or ugliness associated with the act will prevent completion. One of the most common methods of accomplishing this is reading.”
“It has been suggested by some psychologists that reading also serves as a symbolic way of replacing the material lost through defecation and helps to prolong the act of defecation and the consequent loss.”
Alexander Kira, The Bathroom
May 29, 2008 at 9:46 pm rating: 1
#27
Russ
How exactly does one know what is going on in the bathroom when they are not inside of it??
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
Jun 7, 2008 at 3:19 am rating: 0
#28 TMI all around | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: or at least pass the sports section under the door [...]
Nov 17, 2011 at 6:50 pm rating: 0
Comments are Closed