It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

May 28th, 2008 · 353 comments

Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

TO THE MEN WHO ARE USING THE "WOMENS" LADIES ROOM

HELLO LADIES Potluck is on Friday!!!!!! The theme is Mongolia BBQ and I will be bringing ribs and hats if you would like one please let me know. Please sign up below for what you would like to bring. If you don't want to "bring" something but still want to eat potluck then please pay $5 to Casey in Human Resources. Some ideas of what to bring are fortune cookies, paper plates, fruit cups, things with no sugar because some ppl are diabetic, to, shrimp, salad, rice, diet drinks because some people like them to. Some things not to bring are cake and forks because we have some leftovers for the birthday potluck. Please sign below and say what you are going to bring!!!!!!! If you have an idea for a theme please talk to Casey in Human Resources. Thx, Sandra

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: If you have to "throw up" please do it in the trash can. Then take the bag out of the trash can and dispose of it down-stairs in the "facilities" dumpster are pipes are old and can't handle "big jobs" like "throw up." Please also don't flush wrappers and trash papers etc because you can just use the trash can!!!!!!!!! Thx, Sandra

related: The return of Thx Sandra!

FILED UNDER: bathroom · battle of the sexes · blitzkrieg approach · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · office cop · party planning committee · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · thx · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks" · vomit · You call that punctuation?


353 responses so far ↓

  • #1   anglophile bang

    I’ve been told where to go by RunBarbara, and let me tell you, it was very private to us ladies!

    May 28, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mishee bang

      She has also told ME where to go – and I think she would love for us to tell everyone glo!!

      May 28, 2008 at 8:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   tinkerbell2

      I’d go pretty much anywhere with RunBarbara..

      What I still can’t believe about these notes is that thx Sandra DOESN’T EVEN WORK THERE. I mean, wtf? I might go round a few local offices this afternoon and leave chummy little notes in the toilets. Hell, it passes the time.

      May 30, 2008 at 8:13 am   rating: 56  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Monkeyspeaks

      My favorite was “don’t bring anything with sugar because some ppl are diabetic.”

      I assume THX SANDA is the diabetic one and too gluttonous to exhibit self control and NOT eat things that are bad for her.

      Also – fruit cups have sugar in them.

      Feb 3, 2009 at 6:30 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Robin Claire

    AHAHAHAH. Sounds like Casey’s goodlooking? :D

    May 28, 2008 at 7:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   RunBarbara bang

      Im so good looking that its actually embarrassing.

      May 28, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: 69  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Sundance bang

    Women’s ladies room?

    Please tell me this person does not speak English as a first language.

    May 28, 2008 at 7:14 pm   rating: 83  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Joyful

    My favorite thing about these notes? The picture of the dentist on the “Throw up” notes. Is she implying that by throwing up they will rot their teeth? I just love it!

    May 28, 2008 at 7:16 pm   rating: 88  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   anglophile bang

      Obviously, the dentist is triggering his young patient’s gag reflex, precipitating the “throw up”.

      May 28, 2008 at 7:26 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Joyful

      Ha, even more gross!

      May 28, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Lurker

      Maybe he’s fishing something out of the patient’s “old pipes.”

      May 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   RunBarbara bang

      I love it when my dentist “triggers my gag reflex”…of course, he made me promise not to tell anyone. he said its our secret.

      May 28, 2008 at 8:23 pm   rating: 140  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Tom

    Please see Casey in human resources if you need a new “garbage bag”. Please stop putting “throw up” on the potluck list.

    May 28, 2008 at 7:18 pm   rating: 271  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Krystal Pistol

      Best. Comment. Ever.

      Aug 16, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   NoPunIntended bang

    Holy F’ing redundant usage of saying the same thing over and over again.
    Thank you,
    Thx
    Sandra

    May 28, 2008 at 7:18 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Sundance bang

    So, is Casey in Human Resources your full name?

    Also, what do you do if your “diarrhea” is a bigger job than your “throw up”? May you then “throw up” in the toilet and “shit” in the garbage can?

    May 28, 2008 at 7:23 pm   rating: 148  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   karolbiscardi

      Hahahahaha! Very true!

      Feb 17, 2009 at 8:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Sheepish bang

    the 3rd note is precious…
    “THROW UP”
    “FACILITIES”
    “BIG JOBS”
    what is she actually saying?

    May 28, 2008 at 7:24 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Jaybird

      Those are the themes for the next 3 potlucks

      May 29, 2008 at 9:51 am   rating: 192  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   anglophile bang

    Who brings mashed potatoes to a potluck?

    May 28, 2008 at 7:27 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Sue Do Nim

      Maybe those who don’t want their “THROW UP” to look like a “BIG JOB’ in the “WOMEN’S” LADIES ROOM bring something with no chunks.

      May 29, 2008 at 12:03 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   anglophile bang

    And just exactly what sort of hats do you wear to a Mongolian BBQ? Where are the pictures? I’m going to see Casey in Human Resources about that.

    May 28, 2008 at 7:37 pm   rating: 142  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   RunBarbara bang

      Note: Its not MONGOLIAN BBQ, its MONGOLIA BBQ. We are going to eat people, glo.

      May 28, 2008 at 8:07 pm   rating: 54  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Voca Popula

      I’ve attended a lot of potlucks, and they’ve always fallen a little flat. Now I know what’s missing…no hats!

      May 29, 2008 at 8:34 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Beth

      I thought it was Magnolia BBQ. The kind where you eat flowers. Because some people are vegan, you know.

      May 29, 2008 at 9:30 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   anglophile bang

      Oh, NOW I understand what you mean when you say you work in “human resources”, Barb!

      May 29, 2008 at 2:49 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   redheddedblondie

      if you are going to eat the people themselves, then you can just take their hats, right? why does she need to bring more?

      May 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   raiseyourglass

      I solved the crime!
      The real reason the food ran out was because the ladies were purging and then going for seconds not that there where non-food bringing freeloaders.

      So it was Sandra in the bathroom with a toothbrush. Todd walked in while she was getting rid of the evidence.

      May 29, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Sam Jones

      This is what you eat at a Mongolian BBQ:

      “Typically, diners choose various ingredients from a buffet of thinly sliced raw meats and vegetables and assemble them in a large bowl or on a plate. These ingredients are given to the griddle operator who adds the diner’s choice of sauce and transfers them to one section of the hot griddle. Oil and sometimes water may be added to ease cooking and the ingredients are stirred occasionally.
      The ample size of the Mongolian barbecue griddle allows for several diners’ food to be cooked simultaneously on different parts of the griddle. When cooking is complete, the finished dish is scooped into a bowl and handed to the diner.”

      I would take this to mean that you can’t just prepare it at home.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 12:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   MaxMillion

      Goddamn Mongorians!!!

      Aug 13, 2008 at 11:12 am   rating: 44  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   awsmmlly

      hahahaha. now there’s a potluck theme, a reenactment, everyone(chinese) v. sandra(mongorians).

      Feb 17, 2010 at 10:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Christin

    I feel unbelievably sorry for Casey in Human Resources. (In case you missed it, as I did, on first read-through: the submitter of these notes IS Casey in Human Resources.)

    Tom @5: Nice. :-D

    May 28, 2008 at 7:38 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Halley

      Why should you feel sorry for Casey? He is making $5 each off of all the lazy employees!

      May 29, 2008 at 4:36 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   known unknown bang

    I’d like to raise a bit of concern at the fact that bathroom cleanliness and pot lucks followed each other so closely into this woman’s stream of consciousness. Somewhere in that connection lies the solution to the “big job” puke sessions – I’m almost sure of it.

    To her credit, last time I puked up “Mongolia” ribs, hats and leftover birthday cake, it was a three-bagger episode that I would not subject to any delicate lady toilet so THX Sandra does have a point…

    May 28, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 51  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Joe

      If you are men, please stop going into the womens ladies room. The women use that “facility” for the big job of “throwing up” to keep their figure slim. We don’t want you to know that, so we keep this private.

      Ladies, make sure you bring a lot of food to the “potluck”, or you won’t have anything to appear to eat. We all know you “throw it up” afterwards anyway, but guys like girls with a healthy appetite. They also like women who keep their “facilities” clean, as well. So make sure you remove all condemning evidence of the “throw up” by taking out the garbage bag each time.

      If you are having difficulty getting the gag reflex going so you can “throw up,” please see your dentist — or Casey in Human Resources.

      Thx,
      Sandra

      May 28, 2008 at 8:06 pm   rating: 188  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Sundance bang

      If men weren’t so fucking shallow about a woman’s appearance, maybe we wouldn’t have to “appear to eat” and “throw up” what we do eat.

      “Guys like girls with a healthy appetite?” In what world is that? I’m moving there.

      May 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   known unknown bang

      …try actually having a healthy appetite and hearing, *”but you’re so little, where does it all go???” all the damn time.

      *I could tell you, but I don’t have the heart to prove science and THX Sandra wrong with my explanation.

      May 28, 2008 at 10:48 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Canthz_B bang

      #12.2…Nobody likes an anorexic bone yard.
      Eat up and give a man something to hold on to! ;-)

      May 29, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Mark

      Hell yeah! Give me a chubby chick anytime! I can’t stand the size 0 types. They break.

      May 29, 2008 at 4:12 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   bellabeastie

      Ya know, growing up I was what boys call “husky” – and girls then were called “a half-size”. OMG I just wanted to die when I shopped for clothes. Size 14 1/2 then. Fate worse than death.

      Now 5’10″ and 155 lbs.

      Team Baby I Don’t Break

      May 29, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   César

    wtf? SCIENTIFICALLY proven? fuck you lady. When I used to work at mcdonald’s I’d pray I’d get the men’s room instead of the Ladie’s room. The ladies room was miles more disgusting.

    This person deserves to die.

    May 28, 2008 at 7:48 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Total Douche bang

      I’m with you, I work part time in a restaurant and the ladies room is almost ALWAYS a fucking sty, while the men’s room is RARELY a mess.
      And could someone please tell me how, “scientifically”, women manage to shit on the underside of the toilet seat?

      May 28, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: 76  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   amazon bang

      Maybe that’s the throw up splatter on the underside, since apparently that’s a major issue for womens ladies rooms.

      May 29, 2008 at 1:15 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   eddy

      From the horror stories I’ve heard from my wife of various women’s restrooms, I’m inclined to agree with you.

      May 29, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   soulwound

      I completely agree! The womens’ ladies room in my college dormitory was always a hell of a lot messier than the mens’ gentlemans room.

      I have no idea how they could tolerate using the facilities in the state they kept it in.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:57 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   TL

      Word. The messiest, most disgustingest roommates I’ve had have been “WOMEN”.

      THX SANDRA

      May 29, 2008 at 12:47 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   raiseyourglass

      I used to clean offices for a living. I totally agree women are much nastier than men.

      May 29, 2008 at 10:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Grade Ape

      Oh God… the horrors I’ve seen while cleaning a womans bathroom (shudders).

      As a MENS I demand to see this scientific proof that THX SANDRA claims to have!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 6:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   telecomladyj

      THX SANDRA is clearly demented, as there is no scientific evidence of the sort! I have, however, been able to come up with some evidence that her brain was installed with a vaccuum and table saw. True story!

      P.S. Women’s Ladies rooms– so often INFINITELY more disgusting.

      THANK YOU TERRY

      Apr 1, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Sheepish bang

    I just spent 10 minutes trying to a find link to this episode of Oprah I saw a long time ago.
    I’ll just have to explain it…
    There was this housewife who had bulimia and instead of throwing up in the toilet like the rest of us skinny bitches she threw up in clear trash bags and saved them at the back of her closet for garbage day. Then she would lug them outside and leave them for the garbage man to pick up.
    At the time I was so confused, if she really wanted to hide it from her family why not just puke in the toilet and flush.
    Now my confusion is no longer… her pipes couldn’t handle the big jobs!
    Thank you PAN.

    May 28, 2008 at 7:51 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Lorelie

      It wasn’t on Oprah, it was Intervention.

      Or wait, maybe that’s a common solution to old pipes.

      May 29, 2008 at 8:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Oveta

      Bulimics puke into containers (trashbags, jars, etc) instead of the toilet because they are puking up whole chunks of food that often clog up the toilets. Im an Intervention addict.

      May 29, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   sdf

      on intervention, the girl was throwing up in her closet because he family was suspicious of her disorder. she would avoid the bathroom after dinners because that’s where they thought she was throwing up. is was so gross. she would store the bags of vomit in her closet with her clothes.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Lorelie

      Then why was she puking in the garage at her employer’s house, when no one was home? I think I’ll go with Oveta’s theory.

      May 29, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   MoxieBombshell

      Hahaaahah!!! Sheepish, I saw a Lifetime Movie about that girl/woman!!! Oh man… I so didn’t want to watch, and yet couldn’t tear myself away — for like 15 minutes, but still. It felt like forever.

      PS also a CSI episode had a woman who threw up (and shit) in plastic bags so she could weigh it and make sure she was excreting as much as she was ingesting. And you *so* know that had to be taken from real life… no writer came up with that little gem on their own — truth is always stranger than fiction (and usually funnier — hell, use this website for an example!)

      Jun 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Zorin

    Wow. I assume these are single-person restrooms? The kind where only one person can go in and use it, with the door locked?

    Talk about having odd hangups. “Ewww, a GUY took a dump here before me! Guy dumps are nasty! Yet my crap smells like flowers I’m sure…”

    May 28, 2008 at 7:59 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Lorelie

      Roses, specifically. Thanks for noticing.

      May 29, 2008 at 8:29 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Grim Squeak

      GIRLS DONT POO!

      Please dont ruin this ideal for me :(

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Mishee bang

      Grim – Well, there are these 2 girls… and you see, they have this 1 cup

      anyways, I just wanted to get the 300th post on THX SANDRA…

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:53 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Mishee bang

    I would like to talk to Casey in Human resources about a sexual harrassment issue and also to discuss my 401 (k) but there is a line out the poor girl’s door a mile long, consisiting of people wanting to give her money for the potluck and “women” who need keys for the bathroom!

    Yeah! Thx Sandra!! Thx alot!!

    May 28, 2008 at 8:02 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   RunBarbara bang

      *slaps Mishee on the ass and gives her a swirlee*

      Very private to ladies.

      May 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   RunBarbara bang

    Im here.

    May 28, 2008 at 8:03 pm   rating: 137  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Mishee bang

      wow, how the hell do you get a PLUS for an “Im here” comment… you didn’t even do the apostrophe right!

      God people love you!

      (Glad to know I am in the “Cool Inner Circle” of RB’s PANland…) :D

      May 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   mokie bang

      Mishee: Don’t you know who that is? That’s Casey in Human Resources. Everything runs through Casey in Human Resources. Now give Casey in Human Resources $5 and a plus.

      Jun 3, 2008 at 1:39 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   telecomladyj

      “Everything runs through Casey in Human Resources.”

      Just so long as she uses a garbage bag for the BIG JOBS!!

      THX SANDRA

      Apr 1, 2009 at 4:42 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Lrae Nomis

    Speaking as a man, if im having a “Bathroom Emergency” it means im about to explode shit or piss all over the floor that i am standing on. Going to find Casey and get the KEY to the LOCKED bathroom would really preclude the EMERGENCY.

    If you ladies cant handle a penis in your tampon room occasionally, go shit in your purse

    May 28, 2008 at 8:06 pm   rating: 109  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   RunBarbara bang

      She never said she was speaking for the whole office. She is speaking for the crazy voices in her head. I dont care who uses my bathroom as long as they dont throw up in the urinal, have sex in the sink or take my paper on the back of the toilet. I have a LOT of big jobs.
      You wanna know the best part?
      THE BATHROOM ISNT EVEN LOCKED!

      May 28, 2008 at 8:13 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Mishee bang

      What about drugs?

      May 28, 2008 at 8:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   RunBarbara bang

      Drugs are fine as long as you leave me a line or two in the powdered soap dispenser. It makes the inner-stall BJs a lot easier to handle.

      May 28, 2008 at 8:29 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   se

      just curious, why no sex in the sink?

      May 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   RunBarbara bang

      because thats where secondscout and i are going to be and we want it clean, damnit.

      May 28, 2008 at 9:18 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Total Douche bang

      So… SANDRA’S next note should read,

      “Our next POTLUCK THEME will be:
      Filthy Coke Whore Bathroom Sex.
      If you would like to participate in
      Filthy Coke Whore Bathroom Sex
      just pay $5 to Casey in Human Resources.
      And don’t bring any cake, because
      there’s plenty left over from the
      Mongolian Cluster Fuck potluck
      that we had LAST week.
      THX SANDRA”

      May 28, 2008 at 10:53 pm   rating: 70  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   cre8tivewmn

      Where are you getting your coke? $5.00?

      This set of notes is great. Poor Casey! Good thing Sandra signs all her notes.

      May 29, 2008 at 7:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   Lorelie

      Also, things to bring to the Filthy Coke Whore Bathroom Sex BBQ include straws to do the coke with, or spoons to induce our gag reflex. Things not to bring include forks, because we have those left over. And because they’re pokey.

      Thx!

      May 29, 2008 at 8:33 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   Lrae Nomis

      and because you cant do a line with a fork without damaging your nasal cavity

      May 29, 2008 at 10:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   raiseyourglass

      Uhh…Why is there a special bathroom that is locked anyway?

      May 29, 2008 at 10:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.11   Amethest

      First ruled of Locked Bathroom Club is…

      May 30, 2008 at 3:12 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.12   Amethest

      First rule of Locked Bathroom Club is…

      May 30, 2008 at 3:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.13   Grade Ape

      HA HA HA HA HA HA HA… oh sweet mother of mercy (wipes away tears).

      If I’m having a true emergency, I would imagine I’d shit myself halfway to Run Barbara’s desk… or while she’s looking for the key… or in the stairwell/elevator… or while I’m trying to unlock the bathroom door.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.14   Laura

      I love the implication that Casey will have coke whore bathroom sex with anyone who asks for $5.

      Jul 21, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Mishee bang

    I wonder if Thx Sandra would be interested in a long distance relationship (San Diego to NY) with Thank You Terry.. or even a 1 night stand with Anytime Stan

    May 28, 2008 at 8:16 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   KittyKat

      Well, who wouldn’t want a one-nighter with Anytime Stan!

      May 28, 2008 at 9:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   amazon bang

      OMG, THX SANDRA and Thank You Terry are a match made in heaven!

      May 29, 2008 at 1:17 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   vndlfan

      That would be great but I’m pretty sure THX SANDRA and Anytime Stan are brother and sister. I saw the cutest baby pics of them in matching unitards.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:57 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Quite Contrary

    Who in their right mind has Mongolian BBQ as a potluck? WTF?

    May 28, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   anglophile bang

      I think the operative term here is “in their right mind”.

      May 28, 2008 at 9:07 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Jo Mama

      That was my first thought. Then, “Hats?!?”

      May 30, 2008 at 2:00 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Quite Contrary

    The timing is simply too suspect. I think “Casey” wrote these notes herself and submitted them. “Casey” hearts Ashley.

    May 28, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   RunBarbara bang

      Ahahah! Your logic would be flawless except I submitted these to PAN Goddess over a month ago.

      May 28, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    How many “Mens” are using this immaculate womens “ladies room” and why are they not invited to the potlucks on Fridays?
    Maybe I should ask Casey in Human Resources.

    May 28, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   carmelo-rules

      dont forget to ask casey where the magnolia bbq potluck puke bag dumpster is!

      May 29, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    Just a minor point, but if you find yourself up-chucking anything larger than a turd consult your physician immediately!

    May 28, 2008 at 8:34 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   RunBarbara bang

      what if you are just regurgitating to no extent?

      May 28, 2008 at 8:37 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Lrae Nomis

      and check for some missing organs*

      May 28, 2008 at 8:37 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   KittyKat

      CB, can you give us the medical insurance code for that?

      May 28, 2008 at 10:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Canthz_B bang

      536.2 for hyperemesis (excessive vomiting).

      You’d need to be more specific as to which organ is missing. ;-)

      May 29, 2008 at 12:32 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Jamie

      I’m very late in posting this but when I read “if you find yourself up-chucking anything larger than a turd consult your physician immediately” I started laughing so hard I was crying and I couldn’t stop. THX.

      Aug 28, 2008 at 4:59 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   secondsout bang

    If the ladies room is for “women,” does that mean that RB’s office is largely populated with MTF trannies?

    This would be a fantastic set of notes to also submit to the apostrophe abuse website.

    May 28, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   vanleestekens

      And the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks.

      May 28, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   secondsout bang

      Oop – dammit, that’s the one I meant. Though it certainly abuses both. Apparently, her keyboard is also missing the comma key.

      May 28, 2008 at 9:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   amazon bang

      AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK

      May 29, 2008 at 1:19 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Sue Do Nim

      IT’S STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      May 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Crash bang

    Note #1

    OOooohh, It’s the “womens” ladies room…
    My bad…. :oops:
    So, ummm…. where’s the “mens” ladies room ? 8O

    Transvestites need to know these things too… Sheesh !! :roll:

    May 28, 2008 at 8:52 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   secondsout bang

    And Jesus Christ, can someone tell this bitch how to punctuate a sentence?

    May 28, 2008 at 8:53 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   summer

    I love that Sandra shared with the note readers that she knows what it’s like to “have to go real bad”. thx fer sharin’ Sandy. What has poor Casey in Human resources done to get Sandra as her BFF.

    May 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   kingkool

    So in one note she says that last potluck they ran out of food…

    But then in the other note she says there is still cake left over from the other potluck.

    Which one is it? Casey?

    May 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   RunBarbara bang

      there are many potlucks, king. i work in an office where people like to potluck.

      May 28, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Lrae Nomis

      i feel bad for you to have to work in a place with so many chipper people that like to potluck, how about LETS JUST ALL GO TO A BAR AND OR GRILLE AFTER WORK. I think i would have to kill myself if i worked at an office with more than one potluck a year

      May 29, 2008 at 12:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Lorelie

      Oh yeah?

      We had an Ice Cream Social last Thursday. With home made ice cream — excuse me, *office* made ice cream.

      Try dealing with bs like that every other month!

      May 29, 2008 at 8:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   Lrae Nomis

      may god have mercy on your soul. Ice cream social? what is this the 1940′s? are you going to have a sock hop next month? mabye a roller disco day?

      May 29, 2008 at 10:46 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   telecomladyj

      wth? I love roller disco!
      just for that u get no thumbs-up =p

      THX SANDRA

      Apr 1, 2009 at 4:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   secondsout bang

    My favorite sentence ends, “please respect that women are scientificaly (sic) proven to be cleaner and do not use our bathroom if you are men.” By failing to punctuate, she implies that women are scientifically (this is the proper spelling) proven not to use RB’s office bathroom. Or maybe they only don’t use it if I am a man, which I am. Mind-boggling…

    May 28, 2008 at 8:58 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   RunBarbara bang

      2nd, you can come lock yourself in the bathroom with me anytime.

      May 28, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   secondsout bang

      Well, given that women are scientifically proven not to be using it, we’ll have it all to ourselves. Awesome!!

      May 28, 2008 at 9:06 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   RunBarbara bang

      good thing the sink is sturdy.

      May 28, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   wright bang

    Man, I would like to think that Sandra has taken PANing to a new level, but my Cynic Devil (left shoulder) keeps shaking his head sadly. Still, her PA abilities are Master / Mistress level.

    And there HAS to be a follow-up note about the hats worn to the Mongolian BBQ Potluck. No one that anal could fail to disapprove of some hat-related issue!

    Team Don’t Let Us Down, Sandra!!

    May 28, 2008 at 9:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   anglophile bang

      who is on your right shoulder?

      May 29, 2008 at 12:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Canthz_B bang

      Pat Boone.

      May 29, 2008 at 1:06 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   wright bang

      Dammit CB, Pat and I had a private deal going and you go and spread it around! Ten lashes with a wet unitard!

      May 29, 2008 at 1:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   heck yeah

    I NEED to go work in this office. NOW.

    My question is:

    How often are the “Ladies” throwing up in this office that it warrants its own passive-aggressive reminder?

    May 28, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   secondsout bang

    If note #2 were bullet-pointed, it would read:

    • Fortune cookies
    • Paper plates
    • Fruit cups
    • Things with no sugar
    • To

    Perhaps “To” is some Mongolian delicacy I wasn’t aware existed. Roasted yak tail or something, I guess.

    May 28, 2008 at 9:13 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Mark Whybird

      Actually, the note calls the last bullet “TO. TO”

      The dog from the Wizard of Oz?

      May 29, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   GVI bang

    Some ladies I know can do a “big job” in the bathroom and I am not talking about puke.

    May 28, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   amazon bang

      I always do my “big jobs” in the bathroom. Much more room than the back of a car, but more privacy than an alleyway.

      May 29, 2008 at 1:23 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   KittyKat

    RB, I’m sorry. You can totally be mean and trash me anytime you want. You obviously need the stress relief. :)

    May 28, 2008 at 9:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   RunBarbara bang

    kittykat, about eight minutes after i initially was mean to you i fell for you. its all good. you are a welcome addition to my slacking days spent on PAN.

    May 28, 2008 at 10:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   KittyKat

      But I kind of like it when you’re mean. I picture you in big black boots with a whip . . .wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

      May 28, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   RunBarbara bang

      sounds like you’ve been talking to the right people. just ask wade about my “restraints”.

      May 28, 2008 at 10:05 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   Boomshine

      Actually, Wade’s in a conference call right now. We’re going have to direct you down to Casey in Human Resources…

      …Oh, right. :D

      Oct 27, 2009 at 4:54 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Luv this site

    How does she know “ladies” are throwing up in the bathroom? Does she hide out and listen? (Because I can’t imagine even “old pipes” that could handle a shit but not puke.) Who the hell ever heard of bagging up puke to throw out in the garbage when you have a toilet right there? And how often do the ladies in this office throw up, anyway? Maybe the potlucks are to blame!

    What a complete whack-o! If she doesn’t work there, then wtf????? However, the entertainment value of these notes is immense, as long as you aren’t Casey in Human Resources.

    May 28, 2008 at 10:10 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Laura

      Maybe it’s all those scientifically proven disgusting males puking all over the bathroom.

      Jul 21, 2009 at 5:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   trifioso bang

    This was it, folks. This was the PAN offering that got me to register after weeks of happy lurking!

    Those notes, and the comments that follow, had me WHEEZING as I read them, I was laughing that hard.

    SO glad to have found this blog, so in love with RunBarbara…..

    BTW – Those Mongolians were f*ing DELICIOUS!

    May 28, 2008 at 10:30 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   lauramart

      trifioso, I was just about to make my second PAN post and say the Mongolians were f*ing delicious, but you beat me to it.

      May 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Lyanthya bang

      Sama here.

      I’m having a potluck emergency! I need a hat! And a unitard!

      CASEY IN HUMAN RESOURCES!

      Sep 15, 2008 at 7:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   TuesdayPillow

    These notes re just too full of gems.

    Hey, it’s scientifically proven that if you don’t bring food to potlucks, you’re not supposed to eat, and if you don’t eat, you’re not allowed to throw up in the toilet, either.

    (p.s. if a pile of puke is a big job for the pipes then how does it handle MENS poop)?

    May 28, 2008 at 10:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Amethest

      It doesn’t, duh, that’s why mens shouldn’t be in the women’s ladies bathroom!

      May 30, 2008 at 3:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Megan

      So there are newer pipes in the “mens” bathroom that CAN handle a “big job”? I am so confused about these old pipes…

      May 30, 2008 at 1:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Epi

    “Attention employees, there is a potluck in the ladies room on Friday. Please don’t eat any food because I don’t want to buy more. Also if your a mens please do not use the ladies room, you’re messy, hold it all the way down the elevator and ask for a key to the locked men room. Thank you.

    Thanx,
    HR

    PS. Throwing up is private that’s why we don’t want mens in the restroom. Please throw your throw up out in the dumpsters outside. Your fat-asses keep puking too much for the toilets to handle. It’s ok to throw up in the trash can and get it all over the floor. “

    May 28, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Epi

    Sandra you’re a fucking idiot. *My brain hurts.*

    May 28, 2008 at 10:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   balconygal

    This warrants a PAN site solely for THX Sandra. I have laughed way too hard at her notes and the comments. My sink now has issues and I’m out of trash bags. Gawsh. And thank you all.

    May 28, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   deb

    It’s scientifically proven: This is the funniest submission EVER. Just ask Casey in Human Resources. I love the “unnecessary” quotation marks. I also love how skillfully Sandra transitions in the first note from men pooping in the women’s ladies room to alerting everyone to the upcoming potluck. Deeeeelicious. That’s good segue, people! THX!

    May 28, 2008 at 11:39 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Lrae Nomis

      you mean “i “love” the unnecessary “QUOTATION” marks”
      the way you wrote it implies that mabye, just MABYE you think they were needed

      May 29, 2008 at 12:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   slightlysatan bang

    This really just makes me wonder what THX stands for…

    Two Hairy Xenophobes
    Tiny Helpful Xeroxes

    (TLAs amuse me)

    May 28, 2008 at 11:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   secondsout bang

      Say, isn’t THX the sound system that goes with George Lucas’s films?

      May 29, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   Joe

      The vomiters are listening….

      May 29, 2008 at 3:13 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   lfroland bang

      Tantalizing Harmed Zebra

      May 29, 2008 at 9:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.4   Wade bang

      poor lfroland

      missed it by that much

      May 29, 2008 at 9:24 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Sofia

    Why is Sandra in charge of potlucks? Are these official company functions, or just things she comes up with randomly?

    May 28, 2008 at 11:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   f8ra bang

      especially since she doesn’t work there…

      Jun 27, 2008 at 4:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   zombie z

    There are so many things I will never be able to comprehend about these notes, and that is what makes them beautiful.

    May 29, 2008 at 12:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Canthz_B bang

    Heating up all of that smelly Mongolian ethnic food was a sure-fire way to induce vomiting. I did enjoy the BBQ yak-kabobs though.
    Sorry I barfed in the toilet, but the trash was filled to the brim with absurd paper hats! :???:

    May 29, 2008 at 12:41 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   Amethest

      Who said the hats were made of paper?

      May 30, 2008 at 3:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #47   susan

    funniest. post. ever. and that’s just the “she doesn’t work here” part. the “casey has no idea about this” part is hysterical.

    May 29, 2008 at 1:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   TuesdayPillow

    I would love to hear how loudly and obnoxiously Sandra would read the sentences ending in ten exclamation points.

    May 29, 2008 at 2:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   cricket bang

    wow, can’t even puke in the toilets? someone should call OSHA and report it, that’ll teach the stupid cow to post pass-agg notes that out their violations.

    she deserves it for spelling ‘too’ as ‘to’.

    May 29, 2008 at 3:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Gez

    I love them… but there is a nagging thought in the back of my mind that they are a bit too good.

    Anyway, I want to know why the bathroom for the mens is kept locked.

    If a mens has an “emergency” “throw up” or “big job” situation and runs to the toilets to find it locked should he:

    a) Quickly pop next door

    b) Run to human resources to find the keymaster, run back and do his most private business

    b) Run to human resourses and shit or puke in Casey’s trash can?

    May 29, 2008 at 3:34 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   KittyKat

      WTF?! (And Kenya, this goes for you, too.) Are you out-and-out calling RB a liar?
      A maker-upper of PANs?
      An attention-seeking trollop? (This last one might be true, but that’s beside the point.)

      I, sir, am offended. How dare you besmirch the gleaming reputation of our angelic RunBarbara? May the PAN-Goddess have mercy on your blasphemous soul.

      May 29, 2008 at 10:17 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   LeishBlog

    Throwing up has turned into a real chore…take the bag out, blah, blah blah, who is throwing up that much to have to plan all of that?
    mental.

    May 29, 2008 at 3:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Kenya

    I call these fakes.

    May 29, 2008 at 7:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #52.1   Wade bang

      Really, Kenya? I would have never guessed. Kudos to your plastic surgeon.

      May 29, 2008 at 5:17 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.2   Canthz_B bang

      rimshot!

      May 29, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #53   Yellow

    OMG. Casey, you have my empathy. These notes are just amazing, amazing, amazing!

    May 29, 2008 at 8:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   Matt Algren

      I feel “really” bad for Casey to. I can’t imagine “having” too deal with Sandra. I would have too murder “someone.”

      May 29, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #54   Sheepish bang

    Has anyone ever seen Casey and Sandra in the same room together? Just a question…

    May 29, 2008 at 9:00 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   drago

    These are great.

    But they really need to be cross-posted to The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotes.

    May 29, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Beth

    Does Sandra have access to a computer and printer at the office, or does she do them at home? And that fancy food font, that took some time.

    May 29, 2008 at 9:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #56.1   Quite Contrary

      In other words, does Sandra do any real work? I don’t think Microsoft offers such elaborate clip art gratis. I’m particularly overwhelmed by the Potluck clip art. What exactly is inside the “u?” An egg or a collapsed breast?

      May 29, 2008 at 10:15 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #56.2   MoxieBombshell

      Seeing as she doesn’t work there but feels entitled to leave ridiculous non-sequitur-filled notes posted about, I doubt dear Sandra would mind hopping on an office computer and tapping out her “important” “memos.” She strikes me as the type to add completely inappropriate/creepy as hell clip-art, too!

      I almost wish these were fakes — but I think the terrifying truth is that there really *is* a Sandra loose in the world, policing our women’s ladies rooms and legislating our mongolia bbqs.

      As hilarious as these are, I can’t imagine actually having to deal with this woman.

      Jun 11, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #57   Aimee

    Wow! Sandra has serious issues and too much time on her hands. My favorite parts were when she wrote ‘to the mens…’ Mens? Reminded me of David Allan Grier’s Antoine Mayweather in Men On Film. I also liked how she used ‘to’ instead of ‘too’. The last note about throwing up perplexed me because of the clip art pic of the Dentist. What does the Dentist have to do with throwing up? So many unanswered questions. However, Sheepish may have a point.

    May 29, 2008 at 9:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!

    looks like some “unneccessary” Quotation “marks” to “me”

    May 29, 2008 at 9:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   P'chick

    I know I always announce potlucks at the end of a long rant about some completely different subject. And I post it where most people won’t see it. Then when no one brings anything, I can bitch about how no one reads my notes.

    May 29, 2008 at 10:00 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   GhostWriter bang

    I’m guessing that the sheep fries (representing the “O” in “Potluck”) are gonna be hot items on the buffet. What is that odd-shaped meat representing the “C”? …another Mongolian favorite!

    May 29, 2008 at 10:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Max Roswell

    Lock up the blog and turn out the lights. It’s not going to get any better than these.

    May 29, 2008 at 10:23 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #61.1   Quite Contrary

      Never say never. I think it is safe to say that the bar has been raised. Significantly to.

      May 29, 2008 at 6:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #62   GhostWriter bang

    We ladies do not like knowing that you men are in the bathroom where we do our private business. Unfortunately, the glory holes you’ve drilled in our stalls make your presence all too obvious.
    …and for some reason, the thought of anonymous male organs hanging through the walls reminds me that there is a Mongolian potluck this Friday…

    May 29, 2008 at 10:25 am   rating: 44  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Lurker

    I don’t know what the heck’s in the pot, but it sure ain’t luck.

    May 29, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   Lrae Nomis

    Wow i just noticed she actually spells “too” “to” on more than one occasion, thats just sad. By the way, I think the collapsed breast is supposed to be mashed potatoes with butter on top

    May 29, 2008 at 11:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   Ryan

    This is gold! I would love to see this lady on the other side of safety glass at the zoo…

    Dear SANDRA,

    It has been scientifically proven that you are a ridiculous passive-aggressive fool!

    THX

    May 29, 2008 at 11:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   Mishee bang

    What I don’t get is why the first note is addressed to the “Mens” but the other two are only addressed to “Ladies” – did they fire all the men for using the wrong restroom? I don’t get it… I guess Mens don’t bring stuff to potlucks or throw up.

    *sigh*

    May 29, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #66.1   RunBarbara bang

      This is why:
      My office is two stories. Downstairs are the dispatchers (all men), the drivers (all men) and the operations staff (all men and one velcro-watch lezzie).
      Upstairs is accouting, HR, the owner’s office, his wife’s office (she works one day a week to help with payroll) and the conf. room. Its all women up here. There is a bathroom up here, two down there, so when she leaves a note in the offices (the one on the printer was in the copy room, the one about “throw up” was in the women’s bathroom) she assumes only us ladies will read it. She was also freaked out about the idea of men using the bathroom upstairs- which is a women’s room by default.
      *sigh*
      Does that make sense?

      May 29, 2008 at 11:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.2   Mishee bang

      *sigh*

      I suppose. You took all the fun out of my comment tho! :D

      May 29, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.3   RunBarbara bang

      *hangs head in shame*
      im sorry. i thought it was a real question. im going to see casey in HR about sitting in the shame box.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:34 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.4   Quite Contrary

      So, if the owner is upstairs, as well as his wife, does he go downstairs to use the mens room? Or he is allowed to use the ladies room? Or, even better, is the note really directed at him?

      May 29, 2008 at 11:37 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.5   RunBarbara bang

      QC, you have just made me realize that i have never seen my boss make a trip to the bathroom. maybe he’s an android…or maybe he uses the potted tree in his office.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.6   Mishee bang

      ONE WORD: “CATHETER”

      May 29, 2008 at 11:45 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.7   secondsout bang

      Kudos for the sexist boss. Keep all the men out of his sight, and make sure he only hires women as eye candy for the upstairs office. Does he ask women to send pictures in with their job applications? No sense in hiring the ugly broads, or the old ones.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.8   RunBarbara bang

      he told me if i want a raise, i have to come get under his desk.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.9   Quite Contrary

      With or without his wife?

      May 29, 2008 at 11:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.10   Mishee bang

      RB you told me that if you wanted a raise you had to get under the wife’s desk… I am confused now…

      May 29, 2008 at 11:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.11   RunBarbara bang

      no, i told you that if you wanted to be my friend you would have to get under MY desk.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:57 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #66.12   se

      umm, can I be your friend, too?

      May 29, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #67   Tanner bang

    Okay. I’ve been amusing myself with this site for months now, but this is the first entry that actually inspired me to log in and make a comment. And that comment is:
    Ho-LEE feck.

    May 29, 2008 at 11:32 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   xenylamine bang

    I have no words. Well, I have almost no words, because apparently I have just enough words to leave a comment on this…

    May 29, 2008 at 12:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Huh?

    So, Barbara, do you have another job to run to once Sandra leaves a note about the next pot-luck? You know, the one themed “hands that feed you”.

    Maybe you’re the owner’s daughter &/or mistress. Or his wife’s. If so, carry on. You’re untouchable until one or both die.

    May 29, 2008 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #69.1   RunBarbara bang

      daughter and mistress, it is a family business, afterall.

      May 29, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #70   karla

    I had to comment due to the agreeable nature of this entry and comments. However, I have really nothing to add.

    (Maybe someone needs to note that they have puked into the trash can. I’m too lazy to think of something myself. Wear shoes. )

    THX

    May 29, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   jen

    I have been checking this site obsessively for the last few months. This is by far my favorite series of notes.

    May 29, 2008 at 1:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   Quite Contrary

    Let me get this straight. Sandra works one day a week to water plants and drop off supplies. That being said, I now understand the bathroom notes (not understand as in agree with her diatribes, her scientific methodology or her choice of clip art but understand in terms of why she might be leaving a note). I’m seriously don’t get how this role morphed into Potluck Princess. And what’s even more pathetic is that I’ve actually stopped working on a presentation (that has NO clip art thank you) to post this very serious question.

    May 29, 2008 at 1:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Ermine_Violin bang

    OK I’ve lurked long enough, read every sing PAN and have to agree this is the best EVAR note.

    The comments are the best too.

    And oh oh oh oh oh

    I wanted to add, that at my last job, I was in a huge military base, and shared a bathroom that was the only ladies room for 2 buildings – I ate a bad boiled egg for breakfast and by 10am was pukin’ my guts out – someone came in while I was puking and told me I was disgusting and had the bathroom closed the rest of the day! I was puking in the frigging toilet for shits sake!

    I had to do the rest of my puking and later crapping 3 buildings over, about 3/4 a mile away. :(

    The Mongolians were fuckin’ delicious got me…

    Also, I think I’m in love with most all of you here. “Just sayin”

    May 29, 2008 at 2:03 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #73.1   GhostWriter bang

      ..and now let’s have a big ol’ Grand Ol’ Opry welcome for Ermine Violin and her song, “I Was Puking in the Friggin’ Toilet (for shit’s sake!)

      May 29, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #74   Lauren

    It’s people like this who need to go back to grammar school.

    May 29, 2008 at 2:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Michelle bang

    I have to wonder about previous scoldings for vomiting into the commodes if “THIS IS THE LAST TIME I WILL REMIND YOU.”

    I also wonder, since THX SANDRA uses the qualifier “IN THIS BATHROOM” if employees are permitted to “THROW UP” those “BIG JOBS” into the toilets in the locked downstairs bathroom, after obtaining the key from Casey in Human Resources and being told where to go, of course.

    Casey in Human Resources, is this documented in the employee handbook?

    (Like others, this post drove me to register and comment.)

    May 29, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Garcy

    Again, the wonders of working at home in slop pants and unshavenness and just general “I could give a $&*% what I look like”-ness……

    I will never have to deal with the excessive social requirements of a pot luck; neither will I have to navigate to a far away, inconvenient bathroom to emit bodily substances – ’cause the bathroom is a few feet away.

    G

    May 29, 2008 at 2:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #76.1   Canthz_B bang

      Never say never…

      May 29, 2008 at 3:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #77   Jeanette

    I think these letters are totally made up by the submitter…there are WAY too many tags that apply. It’s like they are perfectly crafted. I’m calling BS.

    May 29, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #77.1   amy d bang

      I think the comment above mine is fake. No one is really named Jeanette , please! besides, the comment box looks too neat.

      May 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.2   Canthz_B bang

      #78 is fake…there are no spelling errors. It’s like, all made up!
      Even the attitude that says “I have the authority to call BS” seems WAY too haughty to be for real.

      May 29, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.3   Bellabeastie

      “Jeanette” needs to be a little careful who she’s calling out as a faker. She just might get dragged out back and forced to witness the awesome power of claw’s albino python.

      A sight from which she may never recover. Then try getting your hands on that bathroom key. Bwaaahaaaahaaaa!

      Team We’re Very Protective of our Beloved RB

      May 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.4   RunBarbara bang

      Thank you, bella. I love you guys.
      “Jeanette”, you are just jealous because I have a Sandra and you are named after one of the female Chipmunks.

      Team I Love CB, Bella and Lezzie Amy

      May 29, 2008 at 3:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.5   Mishee bang

      Jeanette, your mom just called me and told me that I have the authority to smack you upside the head repeatedly as many times as I want.

      I hereby pass my authority over to my Babs

      May 29, 2008 at 4:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.6   KittyKat bang

      * Ahem *
      I’ve already dealt with this. Please see post 51

      May 29, 2008 at 4:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.7   Mishee bang

      Kitty – I see post 51 – there is no physical violence mentioned. OR the offender’s MOTHER… if you knew RB at all, you would know that she LOVES to disparage people’s mothers! In fact, she even has MY mother friended on MySpace… that’s just how cool she is…

      Next time, at least propose a “Slap Bet” or something….

      May 29, 2008 at 4:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.8   KittyKat bang

      I never threaten violence. I prefer they don’t see it coming.

      But don’t you like how I worked “angelic” in there? I made myself laugh.

      May 29, 2008 at 4:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.9   Sundance bang

      Team-RB

      The thumbs down should be brought back just for Jeanette

      May 29, 2008 at 5:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.10   lfroland bang

      RB you had previously captured my heart with your wit, but knowing that Jeanette was one of the female Chipmunks….well, it makes me all warm and squishy. Not unlike the bag of puke in my closet.

      Team THX Sandra WTF Jeanette?

      May 29, 2008 at 9:35 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.11   Jeanette

      Ah, mob mentality at its best. Gotta love that. Forgive me for having an opinion of my own, how DARE I?!

      RB, you are so clever! For the record, they are called “chipettes”. And let’s not forget that Jeanette was the most intelligent one…

      Jun 25, 2008 at 4:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.12   unholyghost2003 bang

      Jeanette,
      You were not jumped on for having an opinion but for stating an opinion that many others know for a fact is incorrect.
      I would hope that my own throat would be stretched to ungainly size by all the people jumping down it if I were to say something like “The moon landing barely made JFK’s deadline. Too convenient. I call BS.”

      To then respond with “Ah, mob mentality at its best. Gotta love that. Forgive me for having an opinion of my own, how DARE I?!” would only make me sound more foolish.

      Jun 25, 2008 at 5:03 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.13   Mishee bang

      Re: 78.11 – Jeanette – I believe that Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor are actually an animal called a chipmunk.

      If memory serves me (and believe me, it doesn’t all the time!) I am pretty sure The Chipettes was merely the name of their musical group…

      Jun 25, 2008 at 5:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #77.14   C4E

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chipettes

      Aug 30, 2008 at 11:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #78   amy d bang

    I wonder if Eve got a hat when she got Adam’s rib? If not, she sure did get gypped.

    May 29, 2008 at 2:43 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #78.1   KittyKat bang

      Nice!

      May 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #79   claw71 bang

    Poop>Barf

    Always.

    May 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #79.1   se

      I don’t think I’d want either one cleaned up with my decoration towels.

      May 29, 2008 at 3:30 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #79.2   KittyKat bang

      We can still use them for spooge, right?

      May 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #80   vivitop

    Who the hell put “have to go real bad” and potluck in the same notes…??!!

    Casey, please keep posting those notes…I can’t stop laughing!

    May 29, 2008 at 3:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   Casey in Human Resources

    Sandra, please stop with all these notes. It’s just confusing everyone. The other day a woman brought me a bag of vomit and asked for $5.

    May 29, 2008 at 3:25 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #81.1   se

      It’ll be more confusing the day a women brings you a bag of vomit and asks for the key to the downstairs restroom.

      May 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #81.2   vivitop

      What about paying 5$ to take a dump in Casey’s garbage can?

      May 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #81.3   KittyKat bang

      If only you had a nice shower stall next to your office!

      For the “Big Jobs”

      May 29, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #81.4   Zsa

      “Please refrain from throwing up in the toilets. The elevator, on the way down to see Casey in HR, is a much better alternative.”

      May 29, 2008 at 4:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #81.5   bellabeastie

      Then that would be a job for Anytime Stan, and what if he is on vacation that week?

      May 29, 2008 at 10:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #81.6   bellabeastie

      Or better yet, spending some “special time” with THX SANDRA.

      We’ve already established that there’s something there. Things that make you go “hmmmm”.

      Might have to re-schedule that potluck, ya think?

      May 29, 2008 at 11:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #81.7   ania bang

      Okay – so this the funniest post that I’ve seen here.

      But that wasn’t what got me to register.

      It was this comment by “Casey in Human Resoucres”.

      Hilarious.

      Sep 22, 2008 at 8:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #81.8   Parys bang

      Okay…this cracked me up. I just kept picturing this in the Joan Crawford Barbara Please voice. This post made me register. I for one would like to hear more of what Thx Sandra says….

      Feb 10, 2009 at 10:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #82   Canthz_B bang

    We’re spending far too much on trash bags for the ladies room.
    Henceforth please vomit directly into the “facilities” dumpster.

    THX,
    SANDRA

    May 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Quite Contrary

    A sweeping edict of “no sugar” sounds suspect to me. How big is this office? And why so many diabetics?

    May 29, 2008 at 3:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #83.1   RunBarbara bang

      no one is diabetic. she is just old, so she assumes everyone is dying as quickly as she is.

      May 29, 2008 at 3:48 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #83.2   claw71 bang

      No, she’s old and doesn’t want you kids all hopped up on sugar.

      May 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #83.3   Stitchin-Liz

      It has to be diet food so the women there will stop throwing up in the toilet! It’s obviously an office full of bulemics.

      May 29, 2008 at 4:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #84   claw71 bang

    To the Tune of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:

    Puke in a bag and throw it in the dumpster
    these pipes are too old for big jobs you guys
    Men don’t pee here, the room is for ladies
    Please don’t bring cake, but we’ll take some pie

    Mongolian riblets and hats just like DEVO
    I hope I can find them in red
    if you don’t bring a dish it will cost you a five
    freeloading’s wrong

    Casey in HR abides us
    Casey in HR abides us
    Casey in HR Abides us
    Ah….Ah

    May 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #84.1   RunBarbara bang

      *eyes get misty*

      that was beautiful, claw. lets make some babies.

      May 29, 2008 at 4:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #84.2   GhostWriter bang

      …another song from that album, Fixing a Hole

      I’m fixing to scold when the men get in
      It strips us girls of privacy
      Where should we go?

      I’m buying the hats that match with the ribs
      I kept the cake from yesterday
      How did you know?

      And you really should remember to sign up
      It’s great- Mongolian
      It’s great- Mongolian
      See the people standing there
      who didn’t pay, and never will?
      They wonder why they don’t get in the door!

      The ladies rest room is a wonderful place,
      and when you guys stop plundering,
      then, I will go

      And you really should remember to sign up
      It’s great- Mongolian
      It’s great- Mongolian
      Silly boys, now run around
      to Casey’s desk to get the key,
      and stumble off, down to the lower floor

      I hope you’ll provide for a number of things
      The most important? Paper plates!
      and Diet Coke…

      …who’s got the next one?

      May 29, 2008 at 4:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #84.3   secondsout bang

      And because Sgt. Pepper is one of my all-time favorite albums, I accept your challenge, GhostWriter. To the tune of “When I’m 64″

      When I get sick and losing my lunch
      After the potluck
      Will you still be sending me to the HR
      I’m not sure I can make it that far
      If I have to “go real bad”
      Please don’t lock the door!
      I’m going to wonder, hope I don’t chunder
      See Casey in HR!

      There’s a barbecue
      I’ll bring Mongolian Ribs
      Fortune cookies, to

      I could bring dumb hats, cups and paper plates
      To the barbecue
      You can bring the no-fun diabetic food
      Stay out of the women’s room if you are a dude
      Going to potlucks, Mongolian style
      Who could ask for more?
      Give Casey five bucks, my punctuation sucks
      See Casey in HR!

      Every time you vomit, do it in the bathroom trash
      So the pipes don’t clog
      Pipes can’t take big jobs
      Don’t flush the paper trash
      All you fuck-ing slobs

      Puke in the trashcans, take it outside
      Down to the dumpster
      Just don’t go in there if you might be mens
      These notes seem to suggest that I’m dense
      Take it to HR, fill in a form
      Tape it up on the door
      Five bucks is what I pays, when Casey gives BJs
      See Casey in HR

      May 29, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #84.4   RunBarbara bang

      take me, sout. take me now.

      May 29, 2008 at 7:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #84.5   Quite Contrary

      What about “Claw?”

      May 29, 2008 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #84.6   secondsout bang

      Do you have change for a ten?

      May 29, 2008 at 8:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #84.7   Quite Contrary

      No because my effin roommate made me pay for the backlog of toilet paper I used. WTF?

      May 29, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #85   Lashes

    I am forced to wonder about the list of food for the potluck. Doesn’t a potluck by definition mean that you just show up with a ‘pot’ of food and if you’re ‘lucky’ not everyone brought beans? I never understood the idea behind making a list of food for a potluck.

    May 29, 2008 at 4:15 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #85.1   Mldjstd bang

      That’s right. You git what you git and you don’t throw a fit. Eat, damnit.

      May 29, 2008 at 4:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #85.2   Canthz_B bang

      This is a “Sandra wants for lunch” list.
      Note that THX Sandra may suffer from diabetes (250.0).

      May 29, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #85.3   Mldjstd bang

      Well, in that case, it shit, damnit.

      That’ll be 5 bucks, please.

      Thx,
      Casey

      May 29, 2008 at 5:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #86   Halley

    I wish I had taken a photo of the note at my place of work. I am the only woman there and had complained about one of the men using the women’s ladies room all the time and not restocking the toilet paper (and also using whole rolls of paper towels for. . . I dont know what)

    They posted a sign saying for the men not to use the bathroom, and later that week, someone else had scribbled “This means you, Roger!” So much for keeping it anonymous. ..

    May 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   Deluxx bang

    I’m laughing so hard I have to puke. Where’s the garbage can?

    I have 2 questions:

    1. What kind of hat should I wear to the Filthy Coke Whore Bathroom Sex BBQ Potluck?

    2. What’s a velcro-watch lezzie? Does it imply a certain butchness, or just bad taste?

    Regular tasteful watch lezzie,
    Deluxx

    May 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #87.1   Mishee bang

      I’m thinking butchiness is what we got that one from…

      But don’t even ASK about NPC.. that’s a little gross and TOTALLY off topic!

      May 29, 2008 at 5:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #87.2   Bellabeastie

      In answer to question #1 – it was my understanding that THX SANDY was providing the hats.

      And as to question #2 – I’m no expert, but I think it means both.

      RB? Clarify, please. :)

      May 29, 2008 at 5:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #87.3   RunBarbara bang

      1. What kind of hat should I wear to the Filthy Coke Whore Bathroom Sex BBQ Potluck?
      a dental dam

      2. What’s a velcro-watch lezzie? Does it imply a certain butchness, or just bad taste?
      a velcro-watch lezzie is the sort that wears denim cargo shorts, has a short, wavy mullet in a natural color, wears flannel shirts, work boots, tuxedos to formal affairs, wear fanny packs and like melissa ethridge.

      May 29, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #87.4   Quite Contrary

      You have just described one of my co-workers! I’ve NEVER seen her in a skirt, even before we went all corporate casual.

      May 29, 2008 at 6:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #87.5   vivitop

      For the Filthy Coke Whore Bathroom Sex BBQ Potluck, you don’t need a hat. Just come naked…but bring a small mirror

      May 29, 2008 at 7:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #87.6   Krystal Pistol

      Do I need to see Casey in HR to be issued a velcro watch?

      Aug 16, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #88   cabezon

    Bring diet soda because people are diabetic to and like it to.

    it’s “Too”

    moron

    May 29, 2008 at 6:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   Kelly

    What euphemism is there for throw up? Is she just that retarded that she uses quotation marks for emphasis…

    May 29, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #89.1   Mishee bang

      “emphasis”

      May 29, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.2   Quite Contrary

      Or is she simply “retarded” as opposed to retarded?

      May 29, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.3   Canthz_B bang

      Spew
      Blow Chunks
      Call Earl
      Call Ralph
      Lose your lunch
      Barf
      Up-chuck
      Having Seconds

      The list goes on…
      This reads great if you do it like George Carlin! :-D

      May 29, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.4   Sundance bang

      Hurl

      May 29, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.5   RunBarbara bang

      You forgot my favorite:
      R.T.N.E

      May 29, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.6   park rose bang

      Making a call to God on the porcelain telephone

      Technicolour yawn

      May 29, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.7   KittyKat bang

      Beautiful, RB. I’d forgotten that one.

      May 29, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.8   Lurker

      My personal favorite is “yodeling groceries.”

      May 29, 2008 at 8:59 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.9   althea13

      Shout at your shoes. Or “Buick.” Although I’m not certain it would require capitalization, in this context.

      May 30, 2008 at 12:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.10   Juliet

      I’d forgotten about RTNE. I was just as funny now as it was then.

      May 31, 2008 at 2:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.11   Juliet

      I have an extra post here…. move right along.

      May 31, 2008 at 2:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.12   Sandra (for reals!)

      In Boston we call it: “yooooouk” after one of our (believe it or not) most deloved Red Sox!

      Jan 30, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #89.13   telecomladyj

      deloved?

      is that like when you love someone lots, but then you don’t anymore?

      Apr 2, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #90   Joshua

    Oh my god. I hate this lady, and I don’t even know her. A list of specific things that bugged me:
    -She insists on typing in all caps and using excessive exclamation points.
    -She misused “to” twice in the same note. Twice!
    -She misuses quotation marks in every single note.

    Gah. Okay, I’m done

    May 29, 2008 at 6:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #90.1   Quite Contrary

      There are so many people you will end up hating. Checked the archives yet?

      May 29, 2008 at 7:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #91   Laurie

    I’m still trying to figure out why in the world she segued from “don’t use our bathroom if you are men” to “there’s a potluck on Friday” in that first one. WTF? Talk about an appetite-killer. She’d better keep a very close eye on just what those nasty mens are bringing to said potluck now. Karma is a you-know-what, Sandra. You may be digging into a steaming bowl of Big Job Throw Up Stew on Friday… and you’ll only have yourself to blame.

    May 29, 2008 at 7:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Laurie

    One question for Sandra, though… do you segregate your bathrooms at home? I mean, if you can’t stomach the idea of mens being in the space where you do your private business and things that are private to ladies, I can only conclude that you don’t let them use your sacred powder room at home, either. (Am I overthinking this? Has Crazy Sandra gotten into my head? Into all our heads? Was that her evil plan all along?)

    Casey/RunBarbara, I commend you for not only sharing these gems, but managing to go to work every day without clocking this loon.

    May 29, 2008 at 7:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #92.1   anglophile bang

      I get the feeling THX Sandra is a maiden aunt. Men are a separate species and must therefore be kept at bay.

      Am I right, RB?

      May 29, 2008 at 11:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #92.2   Quite Contrary

      thank you for not calling her a spinster aunt. As one of those myself (probably due to the fact I have decorative dish towels), I’m a little sensitive to that.

      May 29, 2008 at 11:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #92.3   anglophile bang

      Oh, I’m very careful with that phrase, QC, seeing as I’m a literal spinster aunt. ;)

      May 31, 2008 at 11:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #93   Jennifer

    “Damn” Sandra. “U” are batshit “craz”y.

    Thx

    May 29, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   cricket bang

    and what the fuck are ‘trash papers’, anyway?

    May 29, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #94.1   Lurker

      You know, like the National Enquirer.

      May 29, 2008 at 9:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #95   Amethest

    I’m going to take a giant steaming dump in a casserole dish, and hurl into a salad bowl to take to the potluck.

    May 30, 2008 at 3:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   vimandvigor

    Oh man. This is such a treasure. I’m crying from reading all the comments. THX SANDRA seems sincere in her care for the pipes, garbage removal systems, and event planning even if her party theme choices and sentence construction (sanity) leave something to be desired.

    May 30, 2008 at 3:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #96.1   Jo Mama

      I agree. In so, so many ways, this set is such a treasure. I really am at a loss to explain all the reasons why.. it’s just all so awesome.

      May 30, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #97   johnO

    Who the hell has vomit where the chunks are larger than the average shit??? Pooh can make it down the pipes, but puke can’t?

    Hilarious! This is totally reminding me of that South Park episode. You know the one, where everyone was crapping out their mouth.

    That is some crazy piece of work!

    May 30, 2008 at 8:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #97.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      actually it isn’t so crazy. depending on the type of pipes all the stomach acid could do a number on the plumbing. Poo isn’t as acidic.

      What kills me is the lack of an EAP! The note is all like “your bulimia is rude!” not “see Casey in HR for some EAP info, save your teeth, save the pipes!”

      May 30, 2008 at 9:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #97.2   Lurker

      Also, puke floats more than poo, and takes more flushes to get it down.

      (Cancer survivor, not bulimic)

      May 30, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #98   vivitop

    “Hello Dear Staff!

    Just to remind you about the potluck this Friday. Don’t forget to write on the list what you’ll bring and also, B.Y.O.P.B… (as in: Bring Your Own Puke Bag).

    Thx. Sandra! “

    May 30, 2008 at 9:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #98.1   vimandvigor

      Way, WAY too coherent, vivi.

      May 30, 2008 at 9:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #99   vladtheimpaler

    Wow. just wow-ie wow wow.

    “things that are very private to us ladies”

    I just cannot stop thinking about Sandra and what a vacuous cunt she must be.

    May 30, 2008 at 10:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Yvette

    This lady is a real gem. OMG… I seriously would piss myself from laughing so hard if I worked at this place. We only get boring notes about not microwaving popcorn and about people stealing lunches out of the mini fridge.

    May 31, 2008 at 12:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Olivia bang

    Wow, who would EVER hire someone like Sandra? She sounds like a total douchebag.

    On a side note, WTF is up with “THX”? Shouldn’t it be “THNX”? I would think “THX” would be pronounced like “thucks” or something.

    May 31, 2008 at 7:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #101.1   Crash bang

      Maybe she’s delivering her message in high fidelity surround sound.

      May 31, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #101.2   Mishee bang

      Sometimes that’s the only way to get the message out.

      I just wonder if she has to pay George Lucas every time she uses it.

      May 31, 2008 at 8:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #102   Anna

    I’ve been reading this site for some time and never been moved to comment before, but HOT DAMN, this is easily the best, THE BEST, thing I’ve ever seen on here!
    The random picture on the 3rd note! Poor Casey in Human Resources! Scientifically proven women! So brilliant it hurts.

    Jun 1, 2008 at 6:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   Froggy

    I want to know WHERE this “Scientific Proof” that women are cleaner than men came from!

    Seriously, I have seen some incredibly heinous women’s bathrooms… in one place I worked it was FAR worse than the men’s, including someone ripping one of the dividers off the wall!

    Also, Sandra scares me.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 10:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Mishee bang

    Personally, I would like to THANK (THK?) Sandra for putting up these notes, cause according to Casey in Human Resources, if it wasn’t for these notes, she might not have EVER found us here!

    Once again, THX SANDRA!! :D

    Jun 2, 2008 at 10:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   random person

    I love the “quotation marks” on these “notes”

    If I am an actual woman and get a “big job” finished at this office, should I ask Casey in Human resources for a key so we can have a “potluck” party in the “mens” ‘s room?

    (the ladies who don’t bring food but still want to eat will have to bring 5$ worth of trash bags)

    Jun 2, 2008 at 3:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   Phreaked

    HAHAHA! OMG, LET ME USE CAPS FOR THIS WHOLE THING… AND RUN ALL MY SENTENCES TOGETHER, TO.

    If I had to work with this woman I would kill myself. I love how a bathroom note turns into, well you can come to the potluck if you want filthy gentlemen, but only if you bring something… oh, and by the way? Theme is Mongolian BBQ, and we are going to have fortune cookies b/c that OBVIOUSLY creates a coherent theme. Fucking dipshit!!

    Jun 3, 2008 at 11:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   Angelosucks bang

    Sandra is such a total bitch and clueless asshole! If I worked with her I’d be scheming on ways to get her ass fired out of there. Jeez! I hate the woman!
    To call her a cunt is an insult to cunts. I LOVE cunts. They are the loveliest part of a woman. Let’s call her a bitch or something.
    I think I’d be importing puke and slathering it around the ladies room as a gift to her. I’d be having airline vomit bags imprinted with her name and distribute them to all.
    I’d be having an invitation only staff party held in the men’s room and leave her out as being too insanitary or too insane.

    Jun 4, 2008 at 12:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #107.1   PANU bang

      Sandra is the owner’s aunt. There is no firing her.

      Jun 7, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #108   Sundaeg1rl

    This Sandra (“Sandra”) is a “twat” and a “half”.

    Jun 4, 2008 at 8:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   Jim

    ID APPRESHEATE ALL YOU “PEOPLES” TO KINDLY REFRAIN FROM ALL FURTHER NEGATIVE COMMENTS IN THE FUTURE. BECAUSE. SOME PEOPLE ARE ALLERGY TO NEGATIVE COMMENTS SO ONLY POSITIVE FROM NOW ON. PLEASE SEE CASEY IN HUMAN RESOURCES FOR THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK SECTION 7.1.

    NEXT WEEK POLUCK WILL BE PHILLIPINES BBQ. I’LL GO TO THE MANILA IN MIRA MESA TO GET THE LOOMPIAS AND PANSHIT. PLEASE SEE CASEY OVER IN HUMAN RESOURCES FOR THEME IDEAS. WHO CAN BRING BANANA LEAFS THEY MUST BE GREEN OR DONT BOTHER BECAUSE DRIED LEAVES MAKE MORE THRASH AND PLEASE REMEMBER I TAKE MY GOOD SHARE OF THE TRASH OUT. THAT REMINDS ME PLEASE SEE CASEY IN HR FOR WHAT IS EXPECTED IN THIS OFFICE AS FAR AS TIDYNESS GO.

    THX SANDRA

    Jun 5, 2008 at 10:14 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #109.1   Crash bang

      This post is just spectacular… :?

      Jun 6, 2008 at 12:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #109.2   b!tchzilla

      nice! but you used waaaay more periods between sentences than Sandra would have. :)

      Sep 23, 2008 at 1:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #110   Russ

    HA!! And why are so many people puking in the bathroom anyway? Great post.

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Jun 7, 2008 at 3:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   Some Lady

    Wow. Can it get better than that? The all-caps, the bad spelling and grammar, the clip art, the infuriatingly inaccurate use of quotation marks…THX Sandra has written the gold standard of PANs to which all other PANs must aspire. I think I might starting worshipping her as my personal god.

    Jun 7, 2008 at 3:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   Strepsi

    This is the first time I actually did laugh out loud at this site. This is my new favorite phrase:

    I WILL BE BRINGING RIBS AND HATS

    LOL!

    Jun 7, 2008 at 8:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   Elfnow bang

    I had to register, too. I linked over from the Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks. This is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever read. I can picture THX SANDRA very clearly in my head. I have a whanging headache from laughing so hard, and cannot see straight for all the tears in my eyes from all the comments.

    *hands Casey $5* That’s awesome. More.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 10:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #113.1   Mishee bang

      Elf, I know the feeling. It’s best not to view PAN at work, as it can lead to firing due to excessive internet use.

      Believe me… I know.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 10:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #113.2   MoxieBombshell

      Notes like these gems by THX SANDRA are just too too utterly utter.

      I posted fake PANs in public restrooms for a while in college for the reactions, but it’s hard to fake an honest disregard for proper spelling and punctuation, and to really find the “voice” of an anal-retentive asshole note-leaver, you know?

      That said, it was worth seeing my friend — who managed the pizza place/college hangout where I had, er, posted — practically run out of the bathroom saying, “dude — we can’t smoke pot in the bathroom anymore. The boss knows! There’s a note in there saying “All employees must confine drug use to their home or private vehicle.”

      Jun 11, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #114   Mishee bang

    I just realized. In addition to the CAPs, the “Unnecessary” quotation marks, and of course, the content of these notes… does the fact that they are all center justified disturb anyone else?

    Jun 11, 2008 at 2:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Bapril

    I hate it when mens use the restroom where I do my private business.

    Jun 11, 2008 at 3:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   Jenina

    OMG, I laughed so much reading these – please post more as they come in!

    Jun 14, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   bill vagina

    you ever use your own ejaculate as a marinade? it makes everything taste better. hell, sometimes i like to shoot it straight out of the tube and into my mouth. :D

    Jun 16, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #117.1   Mishee bang

      Just be careful not to break your neck like my cousin Walter did.

      Jun 16, 2008 at 2:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #118   Jason

    I LOVE that women are apparently scientifically proven to be cleaner than men. When I was a teenager working retail, I had to clean bathrooms as a part of the job, and the men’s was never a deal while the women’s room was always, ALWAYS disgusting. From nasty poo all up the toilet to tampons and pads not always making it into the disposal box intended for them, the women’s room was always nasty. I kind of want to meet this woman and betch slap her.

    Jul 3, 2008 at 3:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   Kate

    I’d like to know what scientific survey this woman is speaking of. Because I have seen some pretty horrendous women’s bathrooms.

    And maybe if she wasn’t throwing so many “Mongolia” potluck dinners, people wouldn’t be puking and shitting all over the place, precipitating the supposed need for that last note. And how does she know that people are barfing in the toilets anyway? Did Roto-Rooter call her and tell her they found chunks in the plumbing?

    Jul 9, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   Alicia

    So, she is telling people at the company what to do, and about something that she is hosting for the company and doesn’t even work there???

    Aug 5, 2008 at 7:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   Libby

    What I rather like is that she will write a very long note, which repeats itself a fair bit, yet instead of writing “Thanks” she puts “Thx”…as if she’s run out of letters or something!

    Aug 6, 2008 at 8:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   Meredith

    Could this be a brand new, as-of-yet unnamed medical condition??? “Subject enters others place of work. Leaves instructions or correspondance to those she may or may not perceive as “co-workers” but does not actually WORK with. Subject even goes so far as to decide these correspondance need CLIP ART and takes the time to carefully choose themes and font. Oh, and subject is completely WHACKED”.

    Aug 13, 2008 at 12:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   punkypower

    Man, I thought Executive Office Nazi from my workplace was bad. Since when do Mongolias eat fruit cups? I hope to Flying Spaghetti Monster that the next “theme” doesn’t have anything to do with Thai or Indian food. There will be lots of “big jobs” to fill the dumpster with, for sure.

    Aug 13, 2008 at 11:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   secretly Passive Aggresive

    I was wondering, did the Sandra from “Thanks Sandra” ever find out her notes were now a famous punch line? Has she left any other gems since the 3? I’d love to see some new ones. Update please! Hmm, perhaps I should see Casey in H.R.

    Aug 28, 2008 at 5:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   coming soon: the all-you-can-spell buffet | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

    [...] says he spotted this sign at a great mongolian restaurant in the dallas area. “they recently changed their name from ton’s mongolian [...]

    Aug 31, 2008 at 5:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   Harpdevil

    This Sandra chick needs to stop shunting everything onto Casey in Human Resources and learn some damn responsibility.

    And if you “throw up” in the “trash can” you should “take out the bag” and take it to.. oh not Casey in Human Resources this time, but somewhere with equally frivolous quotations marks. They make me cringe!

    Aug 31, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   a sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

    [...] related: it takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one [...]

    Sep 21, 2008 at 6:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   thx sandra returns

    [...] in human resources may have moved on, but not to worry — thx sandra is here to solve our global climate [...]

    Oct 20, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   thx for your honesty

    [...] related: it takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one [...]

    Nov 27, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   aallen66 bang

    I have a couple of questions:

    If you “throw up” in the trash can in the bathroom, take out the bag and dispose of it down-stairs in the “facilities” dumpster (whatever a “facilities” dumpster is), what is the next lady supposed to do? She obviously cannot throw up in the toilet since the pipes can’t handle “big jobs”, but now there is no bag in the trash can so she can’t throw up there either. Can you get a new trash bag from Casey in Human Resources for $5 or do you need to use your “Mongolia BBQ” hats?

    And I have to say, the whole dentist clip art thingy has me totally creeped out. What does THX SANDRA think a dentist has to do with all of this? Maybe he has the extra trash bags!

    Nov 27, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   kayce.

    um… well. so many issues, so little time. let me keep it short:
    1. grammar: fail.
    2. quotation-marks.blogspot.com would have a field day w/ “sandra”.
    3. sandra has too much time on her hands.

    that is all.

    Dec 4, 2008 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   Stu

    Sandra, you have been found to spend too much time arranging potlucks and using the rest room and not enough time working. Regretfully, we are going to have to let you go. Please report to Casey in HR to pick up your last check on your way out.

    Dec 6, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   Kevin

    This lady (Sandra) is psychotic! I also work with women like this. And every time they try to tell me what to do, as a man I do exactly the opposite! I even try to use the ladies room on purpose now. Why? Because the women at my work put notes similar to the one above up on the women bathroom. Yet, somehow these same women were still always in the men’s room ALL THE TIME. But that was OK you see. Now I just use the woman’s room first, makes my job more fun and stresses the hell out of some! It’s a beautiful day.

    Dec 27, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   Sandra (for reals!)

    I want to know who conducted the scientific experiment to prove that women are cleaner. I’d also like to know which testing methods they used.

    Jan 30, 2009 at 9:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #135   MissTress

    Apparently these problems are escalating from this diabetic/dieting potluck. Potluck food= guys cloggin up the womens bathroom pipes with some serious dueces and womens severe bulimia. Maybe casey in human resources should shut down this apparent potluck disaster before more notes have to be written and more clipart can be sodomized.

    Feb 9, 2009 at 1:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   Ravenlynne

    So only ladies are invited to the potluck? Or is it that the men get a free ride?

    Mar 4, 2009 at 3:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   Beth

    It should, actually, be noted that women’s restrooms are scientifically proven to be dirtier.

    It’s passive-aggressive and full of LIES. D:

    Mar 27, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   Spoon

    but WHY is there a dentist photo?

    Apr 22, 2009 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #138.1   Lyanthya

      Maybe when the dentist has a “big job”, it induces “throw up”.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 3:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #139   balls mahoney

    What a cunt.

    May 9, 2009 at 4:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   HiL

    And the dentist clip art is there for…?

    Jun 18, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   Nicole

    Why would someone bring left over birthday cake from a previous potluck? that’s just cheap and kinda gross…

    Jun 24, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #142   FunFunRahRah bang

    Oh man. I’m struggling to breathe right now. So. Very. Funny.

    THX

    Jul 30, 2009 at 11:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #143   loverofthenotes bang

    I just loved the first note that dealt with the bathroom and the potluck all at the same time….talk about a combo

    Aug 20, 2009 at 12:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #144   Shayner

    I bet she’s directly quoting one of the voices in her head when she put “womens,” “bathroom emergency,” “have to go real bad,” “potluck,” “bring,” “throw up” and “big jobs” in “quotations.”

    “THX,
    Sandra”

    Aug 28, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #145   mystic_eye_cda

    Please, please, please post the new notes she leaves next week.

    C’mon, please?

    Sep 26, 2009 at 5:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #145.1   pony girl bang

      I too, can’t get enough of Sandra.

      Wish you’d send in some more.
      But if you can’t, I’ll understand.

      THX
      pony girl

      Oct 19, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #146   Lindsey

    I want to know what’s up with some of the people are Casey’s work that they have a “Womens” bathroom. Is that to be used by the people that aren’t quite sure, but they have an idea…?

    Thx, Sandra seems to enjoy the quotation buttons on her keyboard just a little too much.

    Oct 21, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #147   blushingblaze

    I’m way late to this party, but did anyone sit down and think that if THX SANDRA doesn’t actually work where “she’s” posting these notes, that she’s sitting in the comfort of her own home CAPSLOCKING and clip-arting her little unemployed heart out? Who does that? And why does she care? I don’t get it. I’m glad I don’t get it, to be honest. If I did I might have to slap myself.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 8:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #148   Terbie

    I am so sad there are no new notes, I have been laughing all day over this blog, sneaking in to read snippets as I can. I was laughing so hard at one point I felt faint. Dear God, THX SANDRA must still be around, isn’t she? I really need her to invite me to the next potluck. And my two cents, the stuff in the bowl/collapsed breast potluck sign is grits with a big pat-o-butter on ‘em!

    Feb 23, 2010 at 1:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #149   A Christmas shopping list | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Poor Sandra. [...]

    Dec 20, 2010 at 3:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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