A certain Facebook friend of our anonymous submitter seems to have been going through a rough couple of weeks. but, hey, at least she seems to be confronting her issues!
(Confidential to Facebook friend: I’m no shrink, but I have a feeling this strategy might be more effective if the method of confrontation was something other than a status-update blind item on Facebook. just a thought!)
related: So obsessed that I’m becoming a bore
98 responses so far ↓
#1
gingerE
It really is no fun to spread rumours about things that are true. Who does that?
May 29, 2008 at 9:43 pm rating: 90
#2
Quite Contrary
Oh please. All of this “i have” and “repulsion” and third person blind crap. Cut to the chase…
As in, “You suck. You’re a fat douche. Don’t ever violate my laundry again. THX SANDRA.”
May 29, 2008 at 9:45 pm rating: 90
#3
KittyKat
The repulsion I have . . . shall not bear false witness on me? Does she have multiple personalities or what?
May 29, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: 90
#4
park rose
Yeah, stop it Pinocchio, or I’ll get all biblical on your arse.
May 29, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: 90
#5
Canthz_B
This must be like Thanksgiving for one habitual lying person!
May 29, 2008 at 9:53 pm rating: 90
#6
KittyKat
Oh, and the gossip and false rumours I fed on were fucking delicious!
May 29, 2008 at 9:53 pm rating: 90
#7
KittyKat
I fed on gossip for a week once. It wasn’t very filling, but it sure tasted sweet.
May 29, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: 90
#8
zombieBlanco
Facebook friend is fed up with the people who like to feed on gossip and like to spread rumors about stuff that isn’t true…: friend better stay the hell out of here!
May 29, 2008 at 10:07 pm rating: 90
#9
Canthz_B
Are we talking 9th Commandment or 5th Amendment here?
May 29, 2008 at 10:09 pm rating: 90
#10
bellabeastie
Dear Ladies (and I use the term loosely):
You know who you are. I shall not bear false witness on you, however you are now dis-invited to the Annual Mongolian BBQ for Gossip Bottom Feeders such as yourself.
Only Habitual Liars and Drama Queens need fill out the necessary paperwork as to what you will contribute. However, we know it won’t be accurate, so please see Casey in Human Resources for any clarification.
The key to the bathroom and any wardrobe suggestions will be offered for the low, low fee of $5.00 and one bag of vomit payable on demand. (FYI – 2 bags will get you in for free!)
THX SANDRA will be providing the hats and leftover Matzos.
Moses
May 29, 2008 at 10:10 pm rating: 90
#11
Sheepish
I’ve decided to break as many Commandments in this post as possible…
Oh my God! (2nd) As I came to worship at the alter of the PAN Goddess (1st) I found this facebook status post that I wanted for myself and no other. (9 & 10). I told my Dad to F***K off when he called during my worship session. (4) I had dirty thoughts about CB and Claw and wished I could be friends and lovers with RB. (9, 10 & 6) I plan on murdering any facebook ‘friends’ of mine that post anything as ridiculous as shit. (5) And on Sunday I will preform my weekly sacrifice to the Goddess of PAN. (1 & 3)
whew.
May 29, 2008 at 10:12 pm rating: 90
#12
Wade
It really is too bad she takes such Pride in expressing her Wrath so Slothfully. Sadly, in her Greedy Lust to provoke Envy, she proves to be a Glutton for ridicule.
May 29, 2008 at 10:15 pm rating: 90
#13
Quite Contrary
After 12 years of catholic school, I’ve purged the ten commandments and the seven deadly sins out of my brain. Didn’t even occur to me to google them…
May 29, 2008 at 11:10 pm rating: 90
#14
GVI
If this is what her Facebook looks like can you imagine how insane her Twitter would be.
May 29, 2008 at 11:16 pm rating: 90
#15
cricket
is REALLY curious to know who the fuck she’s talking about.
May 30, 2008 at 12:57 am rating: 90
#16
Sarah
Other people’s “drama”? More like your “unnecessary” quotation marks. Where’s the tag?
May 30, 2008 at 1:12 am rating: 90
#17
known unknown
“is thinking that if certain Commandment quoting Facebook Friends stopped ‘feeding up’ on certain ‘gossip fed’ repulsive males, maybe they wouldn’t be so fucking FAT! WTF?!”
May 30, 2008 at 1:14 am rating: 90
#18
César
this girl totally had sex with that guy
May 30, 2008 at 1:41 am rating: 90
#19
claw71
I’m gonna get Biblical on his ass with a commandment and a pair of scriptures.
May 30, 2008 at 9:18 am rating: 90
#20
morpho aurora
and how does she know these people are spreading rumors about her? unless she overheard them, she is relying on info from others. which is gossip and may not be true. if that’s the case, she is just as much (if not more) a gossip-feeding hypocrite.
somebody needs to smack her upside the head with a giant print parallel bible.
May 30, 2008 at 9:41 am rating: 90
#21
Lurker
So, if a two-faced person uses Facebook, does she become three-faced?
May 30, 2008 at 11:49 am rating: 90
#22
secondsout
Read the 9th Commandment? Umm, OK, my Catholic version says I shouldn’t covet my neighbor’s property. Why do you care what I covet? And sorry, God, but my neighbor has a pretty sweet convertible. The devil tempts me too much.
May 30, 2008 at 11:59 am rating: 90
#23
SaraJean
I dont know much about the 10 commandments, but I do know (from previous experiences with crazies) that this female is indeed crazy… and she definetly slept with that guy…
May 30, 2008 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
#24
Ryan
IT HAS BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN THAT THIS BLOG IS NOT CLEAN. MENS WHO LIE AND CHEAT ARE NOT INVITED TO THE POTLUCK SUPPER.
THX
ANON ( I mean Sandra)
May 30, 2008 at 1:32 pm rating: 90
#25
Lurker
Thou shalt not leave dirty dishes in the sink
Thou shalt not touch thy neighbor’s wet laundry
Thou shalt not prepare nourishment in the microwave without cleansing it afterward, for verily, thy mother travaileth not here
Thou shalt not take more than thou givest of the fruit and cake, or the ribs of Mongolia
Thou shalt not covet thy rommate’s grooming products
Thou shalt not throw used cat hair from out thy window, for it is nasty and trifling
Thou shalt not consume the foodstuffs of thy fellow labourers
Thou shalt not tether thy shabby camel before the dewlling of a wealthy woman
Thou shalt not neglect to leave a gratuity, lest the serving-woman tamper with thy food
May 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm rating: 90
#26
strawberrylaundry
this is a really lame submission. slow friday p-a?
May 30, 2008 at 3:57 pm rating: 90
#27
Quite Contrary
Any note “pales” in comparison to THX SANDRA. I can still “play,” but the “spark” is diminishing.
May 30, 2008 at 4:46 pm rating: 90
#28
summer
Sandra’s fucking crazy and my fave since lurking and posting here the last 6 mos. a great deal of these notes are fluff and shock value, but Sandra is true adult psycho: no children , living in rural America, needs a hobby so invests in this workplace. The sad part is that she means every thing in the letters, she has thought them out, and has invested in their outcome…PAID employees don’t even do that!!!!
May 30, 2008 at 10:17 pm rating: 90
#29
lfroland
Our Facebook culprit has obviously been reading too much into the feeds from her “friends”…
“_____ had a vivid wet dream about her best friend’s boyfriend last night.” 9:02am
“_____ felt so raunchy today! Going out to get laid tonight, hopefully you-know-who is at the club!” 8:29pm
“_____’s ass is sore, now she knows how her bff feels…” 4:46am
May 31, 2008 at 1:21 pm rating: 90
#30
Allisonsaur
i’m pretty sure there could be an entire “passiveaggressivefacebookbullshit.com”. nothing like using public forums to express very private grudges.
Jun 1, 2008 at 3:48 am rating: 90
#31
RALPHY
Hey gal-I’ve heard that you’re a flaming nympho psychotic bitch who just can’t get enough. I totally want to get down with you. How about tonight after church.I promise I won’t tell. OR NOT.
Jun 1, 2008 at 9:00 am rating: 90
#32
jocelyn.
ooh, there’s nothing better than stirring up some drama on facebook. i’m 17 & i know better than to air some dirty laundry online when you can just hate text someone.
& i can’t help but lol at the repetition of each update.
Jun 1, 2008 at 7:34 pm rating: 90
#33
Russ
This is why the internet is dangerous. This sort of public ranting would never have existed once upon a time… it’s creepy..
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
Jun 7, 2008 at 3:13 am rating: 90
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