Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler

June 2nd, 2008 · 142 comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this signage at a homemade water park somewhere near Cherry Point, South Carolina.

pool rules

pool rules

related: And pull up your pants

FILED UNDER: crazypants · sex sex sex · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police · swimming pool · unnecessary "quotation marks" · you know who you are


142 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Bryant

    FIRST mua hahahahaha

    Jun 2, 2008 at 7:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mishee bang

      Good to know the pre-teens are waking up early these days.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:26 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Cai

    your kids learn it all from tv anyway

    Jun 2, 2008 at 7:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   MJaz

    5. NO FUN

    Bubba the Bouncer will expell you on your filthy ass!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 7:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   vndlfan

      Permently!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Bellabeastie

      Actually vndlfan, I believe it’s “Permantly”.

      Just sayin’… :)

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   HojoMojo

      “GASP!”
      You said “ass”.
      That clearly goes against rule #1 of the C.O.D.
      No pool for you.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 5:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Ashley Paige

      Permanently. Seriously guys. Get a dictionary.

      Jun 4, 2008 at 10:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Mishee bang

      or they can just log on to http://www.m-w.com

      Duh.

      Jun 4, 2008 at 10:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   alapickles

    Be told.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 7:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   jabbadabbaduu

    I would worry more about those little, innocent kids risking permanent damage from all those “quotation marks”! If they’re exposed to this at such an early age, who knows when they’ll start using…

    Jun 2, 2008 at 7:40 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   john

    there’s a lot going on with these signs! someone took a lot of time to make the official ones with perfectly spaced letters, etc. but there’s real beauty in the hand-scrawled sign below it. maybe it was after that sign was posted that the original sign was amended to include the no drug reference…

    and if you can’t go to the community pool for sex play, where can you go?!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:00 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Mishee bang

    Well, after seeing the bottom sign, I am glad to know that Anthony Grosso is NOT dead from Rene Hall’s smoking, and that he is alive in well in South Carolina.

    *sigh*

    (Spider on crack writing… it’s just beautiful!)

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:21 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   claw71 bang

      I’m much more disturbed by the use of orange Simplex nails to attach the sign. This is clearly the work of one of those contractors who incorporates a Jesus fish in his business logo. Creepy.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 8:31 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   southern girl

      My sentiments exactly Mishee. When I just SAW it, without even reading it, I thought, “Wow, that handwritten note REEKS of Anthony Grosso!”

      Now if only we could locate Terry and/or Rene.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Shane

      @claw71 – What’s Jesus got to do with it? I’m pretty sure a majority of Muhammad’s followers disapprove of this type of behavior as well.

      Jun 5, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Mishee bang

    I love how the bottom sign on the right tells you if you don’t plan to obey just leave, “before you are ejected rudely” – at least they don’t want to be rude!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   claw71 bang

    Sex Play.

    What is “Hair”?

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:28 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Mishee bang

      Hey now claw, Hair was about the Vietnam War, Draft Dodging, the 60s counterculture, and friendship! (oh, and drugs)

      Jun 2, 2008 at 8:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   claw71 bang

      We also would have accepted Caligula.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 8:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   GhostWriter bang

      GhostWriter wagered $5700 on, “What is ‘Equus’“?

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   cre8tivewmn

      Don’t forget “Oh, Calcutta!”

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Canthz_B bang

      So, sex play with a horse is definitely out, right?
      Are donkeys and mules fair game?
      Getty-up there, mule!!!

      Hey, check out that ass!!! :twisted:

      Jun 2, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Mishee bang

    #3 on the sign got cut off, it actually says “No Alcohol or Drugs outside – Take that shit to the coffee house bathroom!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   jayne.

      that made me laugh because as soon as i read it, i just knew someone was going to make the reference.
      you all remember everything. it’s rather impressive.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Mishee bang

      well thank you jayne, you know, when you spend more of the day on here than with your loved ones (or actually getting work done!) you tend to remember a thing or two…

      I’m no Steel Trap like Wade, but I do okay!

      *walks away humming a Beck song*

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Gez

    Those teenage teasers make me cuss.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   claw71 bang

      Yeah, and if you’re worried about Sex play, wouldn’t you want the teasers to stick around.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 8:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   RunBarbara

      Tasers? Oh, damn. You said teasers. I got all aflutter.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   claw71 bang

    Since so much work went into this sign I have to assume they have addressed all the pertinent issues… so feel free to relieve your bowels and bladders in the water as you see fit.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:37 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Mishee bang

      claw, I am two steps ahead of you. Already done.

      *sigh of relief*

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   amazon bang

      *taps Mishee on the shoulder, and points to a different sign*

      http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1231/1092030106_361f6e106f.jpg?v=0

      Jun 2, 2008 at 11:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Mishee bang

      Claw, maybe the “Not Responsible for Accidents” is referencing using the pool as a toilet then…?

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   claw71 bang

    And by the way, ladies. claw71 does not engage in any sex play. For me it’s strictly business. Dirty, sweaty, stinky business.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:39 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   RandyinReno

      Momma, what’s sex play?

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   GhostWriter bang

      “A sex plays its own gender-specific games. Females play Barbies, and males play Hot Wheels.”

      “I want a Barbie too, Momma!”

      ((smackkk!))

      “Here’s your Hot Wheel.”

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   claw71 bang

      Do you suppose it’s just a coincidence that those Hot Wheels are perfectly sized to fit up the ass of your average 7 year-old boy?

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   RunBarbara bang

      Barbie legs are great for bustin’ a hymen. Also not a coincidence.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   secondsout bang

      I don’t know about 7 yo boys, but God Damn, was that funny when the guy did it on the Jackass movie. Oop, I cussed. I might be “permanently “expelled.”

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   lieberhaeschen

    first of all, i worked for a Jesus contractor and it was the best job i ever had. second, is it just me, or have there been a lot of “unnecessary” quotes lately?
    Love,
    Lauren

    Jun 2, 2008 at 8:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   claw71 bang

      The problem with religious employers is they don’t believe in providing benefits like health insurance or vacation time. God will heal you and heaven is all the vacation a true Christian needs.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:10 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   secondsout bang

      A Jesus contractor? Umm, yes, I need a Jesus. We have a possessed young boy here who needs the devil cast out. Please send a Jesus over. Oh, and a Mary Magdalene. We have a bachelor party later.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Mishee bang

    I love “filthy and illegal acts” – sure beats “Clean and Legal Acts”…

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   claw71 bang

      Mishee, how many times have I told you?

      The Dirty Sanchez is perfectly legal. So’s that Cleveland Steamer you love so much.

      And would it kill you to give Mr. Mishee a blumpkin when he’s doing his “paperwork”.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Mishee bang

      Damn you google and your thorough search results!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Lorelie

      Damn you work computer with the net nanny!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   RunBarbara

      I really have been craving some sex play with a total lack of respect. I guess its time to haul my cookies to South Carolina.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Mishee bang

      or just up here to my bathroom…

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   RunBarbara bang

      We cant use the bathroom Mishee, I fear it will be a big job.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   RALPHY

    The hand written sign is totally by an impotent life guard that’s too ugly to attract a “partner” and can’t stand the thought that any one else can. IMHO

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mishee bang

      So RALPHY, did you write the second note yourself, or did your mother help you with that?

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   KittyKat bang

      Well, let’s see, there’s no lifeguard on duty, so they must just hang around to pick-up “partners.”

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      good theory! except for the big sign that says “No Lifeguard on Duty”

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Aijaz bang

    Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold. What’s that? “Teasers?” Never mind, then.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Quite Contrary

    It’s an interesting evolution. First, clear instructions. When those are ignored, they are followed by sanctimonious, angry and guilt-intended clarifications. When those failed (and they usually do), we moved to a more modern pre-emptive threat.

    Sounds and feels like my office.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   einekleinetiger

    The “won’t somebody please think of the children” argument kills me. I love the way people think kids have never heard or seen bad language before.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   secondsout bang

      I agree. In fact, kids should just be exposed to everything as early as possible. Who else is on Team “Porn for children?” Not porn with children, you sicko!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Mishee bang

      I am definitely joining your Team sout – I mean, imagine how much easier the Birds & the Bees talk will be if they have already been watching Porn for a few years?!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Sheepish bang

      i’m on team corrupt-the-children-early.
      but really, who says they’re so innocent anyway?
      i’ve been disrespected by too many 5 year olds with their sense of entitlement and shit.
      teach them to be self-sufficient as early as possible so they stop asking me for things.
      just ’cause they’re small doesn’t mean they can’t take care of themselves.
      fuck your 5 year olds; you ask for too much. if you can’t handle a little filthy language and alcohol then don’t raise your kids in South Carolina!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Canthz_B bang

      If kids didn’t repeat the latest dirty deeds slang how would adults ever learn?

      Jun 2, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   KittyKat bang

    If they’re really worried about the little kids, wouldn’t it be a good idea to hire a lifeguard?

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:42 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   RunBarbara

      A convicted sex offender can monitor swimming just as well as your average life guard.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 10:45 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   amazon bang

      If they’re worried about the kids, don’t take them to a “homemade” water park!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 11:24 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   KittyKat bang

      Hey, the pedophiles gotta pick-up “partners” somewhere!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 11:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   RunBarbara bang

      yeah, because for some reason they cant lurk outside of jr. high schools anymore.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   secondsout bang

      It’s OK, RB, you can lurk at the kiddy park at Burger King.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   RunBarbara bang

      *longs for the ball pit*

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   Mishee bang

      I’m pretty sure you long for ANY kind of balls RB

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   RunBarbara bang

      totally. especially your mom’s. let her know i will be over later, make sure she takes a shower. last time she smelled like a fish tank.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.9   Mishee bang

      honey, she can’t afford to use her expensive brass polish every time you come over!!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   GhostWriter bang

    This is what happens when Clear Channel Communications diversifies, and buys up the Weeki Watchee mermaid show. Damn- things were so much simpler when the Mob ran Vegas.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Lorelie

    Notice the obviously added in S on Bad Mouths. This was initially directed at a specific person. Curious that one person could raise so much ire, out of an entire water park.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Sarah bang

    No horseplay, no sex play, and ABSOLUTELY no combining the two.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 9:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Lrae Nomis

      thats right y’all, beastiality is AGAINST THE RULES of this waterpark

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   RunBarbara bang

      I think Sarah was talking about this

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Lrae Nomis

      OH MY GOD BABY WHICKER HARDER!!! USE THAT HOOF, NEEIIIIIGH!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   RunBarbara bang

      You dirty little clydesdale.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Ryan

    I know I specifically come to the pool to pick up “partners” and to use my filthy mouth language.

    Lady don’t steal my fun!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 10:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Phalange

    Isn’t anyone else concerned that this happened at a homemade water park??????

    I get the image of a waterslide made up of old sinks and toilets.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 10:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Lurker

      Kind of a “Fat Albert’s Junkyard” theme park. Hey hey hey!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   NoPunIntended bang

    Innocent young child: “Mommy? What does ‘Sex Play’ mean?”

    Jun 2, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Mishee bang

    I wonder if “fucking delicious” is considered “filthy mouth language”….

    Something went screwy, this was supposed to be 24.2

    Jun 2, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   KittyKat bang

      Filthy mouth language is what you speak after you violate a thrush-infected baby’s laundry.

      enjoy your yeast infection!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 11:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Mishee bang

      “filthy mouth language” is now my favorite phrase, kicking “smoking marijuana drugs” out of the top spot.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 11:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   gradytripp

    I’d think you’d want to hire an unconvicted sex offender….someone whose innocent is not yet corrupted by the system and will have no socially reinforced qualms about watching your children.

    He’d be unlikely to enforce the sexplay ban I admit.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   RunBarbara bang

    an unconvicted sex offender is like finding $20 when youre doing laundry- totally unexpected and totally going to buy you alcohol…both of which are awesome.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 12:05 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Miss Grace

    I would love to see the bottom of that hand written note; something about the innocents of/in your home? Amazing.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Sheepish bang

    as usuall everyone has commented on all the things i was going to say… bravo, i envy all of your funny.
    i did notice something that confused me… at the bottom of the crazy hand writing note there is a refrence to Geo 7-12-86.
    what the heck is that?
    did Geo sign his name and then put his birthday? or is that his locker combo where he keeps his drugs?

    Jun 2, 2008 at 12:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Mishee bang

      Looks like 7/12/06. Probably the date Crazy Hands posted the sign.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Sheepish bang

      well, that is less funny. *sigh* will i ever be able to match the calibre of funny on this site? i think not. ‘yall are just too good. i should just go back to lurking around PAN instead of trying to think up clever things to say. or maybe i should do some work? nah. i’ll keep trying to be funny. it’s gotta happen someday!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Mishee bang

      That’s the spirit! You’ve been reading my blog haven’t you? :)

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   RunBarbara bang

      “reading”

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   Sheepish bang

      you have a blog? i should get one of those.
      i figure as long as i think i’m funny life is good.
      the most wonderful thing about PAN is the little thumbs up we can give each other.
      it’s like saying, “i appreciate your humour and validate you as a person”
      every time i make a comment i pray for a little thumbs up to authenticate my funny.
      i think that life should have a way to ‘thumbs up’ people anonymously.
      i guess that could sound dirty… yay!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 12:37 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   Mishee bang

      filthier the better sheep!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.7   KittyKat bang

      Sheep, Mishee only likes it when claw “thumbs up” her. But don’t tell Mr. Mishee. :)

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.8   RunBarbara bang

      she actually prefers a “fist up”.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.9   anglophile bang

      Comment #31.8 has been rated NPC by the Morals and Decency Standards Commitee.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:12 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.10   Mishee bang

      I’m thinking if you get 3 Thumbs up for that glo, you will know just exactly who gave them to you..

      LOL

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.11   RunBarbara bang

      I love that people plusssed glo without even knowing what NPC means in PAN land..or, more accurately, in MisheeRBGloAmyUhg Land.

      Jun 5, 2008 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   GhostWriter bang

    It’s really no different than “Dancing With The Stars.” If you pick up your partner, you can be expelled. One foot must remain on the ground for all moves.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Lrae Nomis

    the handwriting on the P.A. note makes me think it was written by a schoolchild… but i forgot south carolinas schools are the worst in the country. Probably written by a high school “graduate”

    Jun 2, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   crazycatlady

      Being from SC, what I really want to know is exactly when did these people have time to make these signs? After all, shouldn’t we be out cleaning our guns and reading our bibles?

      I dock them ten points for not staying on the program. These guns don’t clean themselves after all.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:52 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   digitalxsunrise bang

    since permanently is in quotes, can us teens still come back? cause i need a place to pick up “partners” & the local swimmin’ hole is the perfect locale to do illegal acts & show “lack of respect.” haha, gtfo & let me swear in peace in front of your children.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   secondsout bang

    So if those are the only rules, I guess I can swim naked. Awesome! Just so long as nobody wants to be my “partner.”

    Jun 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   agong

    I just want to know what a “teaser” is.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   secondsout bang

      It’s a girl who makes out with you, gropes you a little bit, gets you ready, and just leaves you hanging. Ooh, God I hate those!

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   RunBarbara bang

      “tease” is actually latin for “not without an engagement ring”.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 1:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Crash bang

    Ya’
    I’m gonn’a respect the hell out’a some little kid when I pay good earned money to go to a water park and I end up playing in some disrespectful little kid’s piss instead cause he thinks the pools a damned toilet.
    How’s that for “Filthy behavior” ?

    Jun 2, 2008 at 1:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   secondsout bang

    Does anyone else see a disconnect between someone complaining about bad mouths, and the sign that reads, “enter at your own risk?”

    Jun 2, 2008 at 1:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Joy

    Does this person charge money to enter this water park? Because you have to wonder who in their right mind would pay money after seeing those notes. There’s no lifeguard, you “enter at your own risk,” the place is so full of people engaging in sex play, drug-taking, alcohol-drinking and swearing that the owner couldn’t even take the time to have a sign made up about it, and if you break any rule you will be “ejected rudely.” I’d rather just stay in my own yard and turn on the hose, thank you.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 2:07 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Mishee bang

      Joy – at least in your own yard you can engage in sex play, drink alcohol, and do your drugs in peace. Without some douche trying to “eject you rudely”

      Jun 2, 2008 at 2:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   ljchan

      Turning on the hose will get you rudely ejected from the water park.

      Jun 2, 2008 at 3:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Mishee bang

    I’m thinking the genius who put up the handwritten sign might have put the paper up on the wall first, THEN decided to write out their thoughts. That might explain the Grosso-esque penmanship.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   karla

      I disagree (as usual). It’s plain to see there was additional writing on top, which has been folded down. It’s almost like they made the sign at home, then got to Fat Albert’s Junk Waterpark and realized half the things they wrote were already addressed by the signs. I would LOVE a gander at the beginning…

      *now that I’m being timed – I must edit*

      Jun 2, 2008 at 3:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Ryan

    Am I wrong, or does this crazy hand-scrawled poster need it’s own soundtrack???!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 3:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Anya

    This needs to be posted on the blog of unnecessary quotation marks aswell!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   agong

    I just love that “Permantly expelled” is written in super scary ghost writing… bad spelling ghosts allowed, but not you crazy foul-mouthed hooligans!

    Jun 2, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Epi

    You can still run on deck.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   César

    This looks like something Peter Griffin’s dad would’ve written.

    that sex play was fucking delicious

    Jun 2, 2008 at 6:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   amy d bang

    Just give the offenders with the “bad mouth” a couple extra pieces of Orbitz.

    Jun 2, 2008 at 6:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   Mishee bang

      Not sure how you can give someone extra pieces of a Travel deals website.

      But I do enjoy Orbit gum. It gets my dirty mouth clean.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJJUGJZxpU

      Lint licker!

      Jun 5, 2008 at 9:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #47   Thomas

    What they are trying to keep out are the gay men that are trying to find anonymous sex partners, not teenagers.

    As a gay man, I find the practice disgusting.

    Jun 3, 2008 at 11:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   RunBarbara bang

      Ol’ straighty, always trying to keep the gay man down.

      Jun 3, 2008 at 11:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   amy d bang

      Which practice does Thomas find disgusting? It’s unclear if he means the practive of keeeping out the gay men who are trying to find anonymous sex partners or the practice of finding anonymous sex partners.

      Unclear to me, anyway.

      Jun 3, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.3   anglophile bang

      Sure, nobody likes to practice. But how are you going to get any better otherwise?

      Jun 3, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.4   Thomas

      Let me clear it up for some of the “slower” readers that have a hard time decifering the meanings of things that they have read.

      What I meant was gay men that “cruise” public places in search of anonymous gay sex, like George Michael. That is the type of people they do not want there doing the “…disgusting things.”

      I hope I was able to clarify.

      Jun 3, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.5   anglophile bang

      But, where’s a person to go to get anonymous gay sex if you can’t get it at a homemade water park?

      We all know airport bathrooms are passé.

      Jun 3, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.6   Mishee bang

      I was able to decifer it…. weren’t you glo?

      Jun 3, 2008 at 2:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.7   RunBarbara bang

      George Michael used a public bathroom- in my experience (source: my twenties) gay men tend to cruise adult book stores, public bath houses, gyms, etc. Having dated a closeted gay man for nearly four years, he didnt spend too much time in public pools.
      Oh, and “Thomas”? Maybe for the “slower” new comers we should make very clear our intention to pelt you with thinly veiled insults when you get queeny.

      Jun 4, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Matt

    I submitted this months ago and came back to see what was new for my birthday. Score!

    Jun 3, 2008 at 3:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   TuesdayPillow

    The handwriting and overuse of commas indicate that the note was written by a disgruntled Hispanic, possibly a midget.

    Jun 4, 2008 at 3:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   tori

    cherry point is in north carolina.

    Jun 5, 2008 at 1:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Russ

    I’d just find a more wholesome water park for my kids already.

    Why bother?

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Jun 7, 2008 at 3:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Fizzy

    Those innocent kids were fucking delicious!

    Jun 7, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   maytagman

    That second sign freaks me the hell out! Someone with serious brain damage, or serial killer in the making? Both?

    Jun 8, 2008 at 1:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   haley

    That actually looks exactly like the sign outside of Green Springs in North Carolina – this huge dock thing in some old guy’s backyard.

    Aug 12, 2008 at 4:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   CodyAnne

    It’s actually in New Bern, North Carolina. Fun place, sans teens.

    Sep 6, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   squarejane

    well if the little kids would just clean up their “filthy words and behavior” and stop all that “sex play” then perhaps they too could join in the fun.

    Oct 2, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   what

    This entire sign makes no sense (Handwritten one). WTF are people thinking when they write this stuff?

    Dec 7, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Aurelie

    Everything about this just makes me never want to swim there in the first place.

    Jun 18, 2009 at 3:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
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