Our anonymous submitter spotted this signage at a homemade water park somewhere near Cherry Point, South Carolina.
related: And pull up your pants
Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler
June 2nd, 2008 · 141 comments
FILED UNDER: crazypants · sex sex sex · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police · swimming pool · unnecessary "quotation marks" · you know who you are
<
141 responses so far ↓
#1
Bryant
FIRST mua hahahahaha
Jun 2, 2008 at 7:33 am rating: 0
#2
Cai
your kids learn it all from tv anyway
Jun 2, 2008 at 7:33 am rating: 0
#3
MJaz
5. NO FUN
Bubba the Bouncer will expell you on your filthy ass!
Jun 2, 2008 at 7:35 am rating: 1
#4
alapickles
Be told.
Jun 2, 2008 at 7:37 am rating: 0
#5
jabbadabbaduu
I would worry more about those little, innocent kids risking permanent damage from all those “quotation marks”! If they’re exposed to this at such an early age, who knows when they’ll start using…
Jun 2, 2008 at 7:40 am rating: 33
#6
john
there’s a lot going on with these signs! someone took a lot of time to make the official ones with perfectly spaced letters, etc. but there’s real beauty in the hand-scrawled sign below it. maybe it was after that sign was posted that the original sign was amended to include the no drug reference…
and if you can’t go to the community pool for sex play, where can you go?!
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:00 am rating: 4
#7
Mishee
Well, after seeing the bottom sign, I am glad to know that Anthony Grosso is NOT dead from Rene Hall’s smoking, and that he is alive in well in South Carolina.
*sigh*
(Spider on crack writing… it’s just beautiful!)
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:21 am rating: 9
#8
Mishee
I love how the bottom sign on the right tells you if you don’t plan to obey just leave, “before you are ejected rudely” – at least they don’t want to be rude!
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:23 am rating: 2
#9
claw71
Sex Play.
What is “Hair”?
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:28 am rating: 11
#10
Mishee
#3 on the sign got cut off, it actually says “No Alcohol or Drugs outside – Take that shit to the coffee house bathroom!
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:31 am rating: 5
#11
Gez
Those teenage teasers make me cuss.
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#12
claw71
Since so much work went into this sign I have to assume they have addressed all the pertinent issues… so feel free to relieve your bowels and bladders in the water as you see fit.
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:37 am rating: 14
#13
claw71
And by the way, ladies. claw71 does not engage in any sex play. For me it’s strictly business. Dirty, sweaty, stinky business.
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:39 am rating: 17
#14
lieberhaeschen
first of all, i worked for a Jesus contractor and it was the best job i ever had. second, is it just me, or have there been a lot of “unnecessary” quotes lately?
Love,
Lauren
Jun 2, 2008 at 8:53 am rating: 2
#15
Mishee
I love “filthy and illegal acts” – sure beats “Clean and Legal Acts”…
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:04 am rating: 1
#16
RALPHY
The hand written sign is totally by an impotent life guard that’s too ugly to attract a “partner” and can’t stand the thought that any one else can. IMHO
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:04 am rating: 1
#17
Aijaz
Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold. What’s that? “Teasers?” Never mind, then.
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:05 am rating: 3
#18
Quite Contrary
It’s an interesting evolution. First, clear instructions. When those are ignored, they are followed by sanctimonious, angry and guilt-intended clarifications. When those failed (and they usually do), we moved to a more modern pre-emptive threat.
Sounds and feels like my office.
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:09 am rating: 13
#19
einekleinetiger
The “won’t somebody please think of the children” argument kills me. I love the way people think kids have never heard or seen bad language before.
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: 2
#20
KittyKat
If they’re really worried about the little kids, wouldn’t it be a good idea to hire a lifeguard?
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:42 am rating: 20
#21
GhostWriter
This is what happens when Clear Channel Communications diversifies, and buys up the Weeki Watchee mermaid show. Damn- things were so much simpler when the Mob ran Vegas.
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:51 am rating: 3
#22
Lorelie
Notice the obviously added in S on Bad Mouths. This was initially directed at a specific person. Curious that one person could raise so much ire, out of an entire water park.
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:57 am rating: 2
#23
Sarah
No horseplay, no sex play, and ABSOLUTELY no combining the two.
Jun 2, 2008 at 9:57 am rating: 5
#24
Ryan
I know I specifically come to the pool to pick up “partners” and to use my filthy mouth language.
Lady don’t steal my fun!
Jun 2, 2008 at 10:03 am rating: 0
#25
Phalange
Isn’t anyone else concerned that this happened at a homemade water park??????
I get the image of a waterslide made up of old sinks and toilets.
Jun 2, 2008 at 10:16 am rating: 5
#26
NoPunIntended
Innocent young child: “Mommy? What does ‘Sex Play’ mean?”
Jun 2, 2008 at 10:49 am rating: 12
#27
Mishee
I wonder if “fucking delicious” is considered “filthy mouth language”….
Something went screwy, this was supposed to be 24.2
Jun 2, 2008 at 10:54 am rating: 3
#28
gradytripp
I’d think you’d want to hire an unconvicted sex offender….someone whose innocent is not yet corrupted by the system and will have no socially reinforced qualms about watching your children.
He’d be unlikely to enforce the sexplay ban I admit.
Jun 2, 2008 at 11:54 am rating: 0
#29
RunBarbara
an unconvicted sex offender is like finding $20 when youre doing laundry- totally unexpected and totally going to buy you alcohol…both of which are awesome.
Jun 2, 2008 at 12:05 pm rating: 14
#30
Miss Grace
I would love to see the bottom of that hand written note; something about the innocents of/in your home? Amazing.
Jun 2, 2008 at 12:06 pm rating: 0
#31
Sheepish
as usuall everyone has commented on all the things i was going to say… bravo, i envy all of your funny.
i did notice something that confused me… at the bottom of the crazy hand writing note there is a refrence to Geo 7-12-86.
what the heck is that?
did Geo sign his name and then put his birthday? or is that his locker combo where he keeps his drugs?
Jun 2, 2008 at 12:12 pm rating: 0
#32
GhostWriter
It’s really no different than “Dancing With The Stars.” If you pick up your partner, you can be expelled. One foot must remain on the ground for all moves.
Jun 2, 2008 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
#33
Lrae Nomis
the handwriting on the P.A. note makes me think it was written by a schoolchild… but i forgot south carolinas schools are the worst in the country. Probably written by a high school “graduate”
Jun 2, 2008 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#34
digitalxsunrise
since permanently is in quotes, can us teens still come back? cause i need a place to pick up “partners” & the local swimmin’ hole is the perfect locale to do illegal acts & show “lack of respect.” haha, gtfo & let me swear in peace in front of your children.
Jun 2, 2008 at 1:28 pm rating: 0
#35
secondsout
So if those are the only rules, I guess I can swim naked. Awesome! Just so long as nobody wants to be my “partner.”
Jun 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: 0
#36
agong
I just want to know what a “teaser” is.
Jun 2, 2008 at 1:48 pm rating: 0
#37
Crash
Ya’
I’m gonn’a respect the hell out’a some little kid when I pay good earned money to go to a water park and I end up playing in some disrespectful little kid’s piss instead cause he thinks the pools a damned toilet.
How’s that for “Filthy behavior” ?
Jun 2, 2008 at 1:53 pm rating: 0
#38
secondsout
Does anyone else see a disconnect between someone complaining about bad mouths, and the sign that reads, “enter at your own risk?”
Jun 2, 2008 at 1:55 pm rating: 2
#39
Joy
Does this person charge money to enter this water park? Because you have to wonder who in their right mind would pay money after seeing those notes. There’s no lifeguard, you “enter at your own risk,” the place is so full of people engaging in sex play, drug-taking, alcohol-drinking and swearing that the owner couldn’t even take the time to have a sign made up about it, and if you break any rule you will be “ejected rudely.” I’d rather just stay in my own yard and turn on the hose, thank you.
Jun 2, 2008 at 2:07 pm rating: 14
#40
Mishee
I’m thinking the genius who put up the handwritten sign might have put the paper up on the wall first, THEN decided to write out their thoughts. That might explain the Grosso-esque penmanship.
Jun 2, 2008 at 2:37 pm rating: 0
#41
Ryan
Am I wrong, or does this crazy hand-scrawled poster need it’s own soundtrack???!
Jun 2, 2008 at 3:00 pm rating: 0
#42
Anya
This needs to be posted on the blog of unnecessary quotation marks aswell!
Jun 2, 2008 at 3:14 pm rating: 1
#43
agong
I just love that “Permantly expelled” is written in super scary ghost writing… bad spelling ghosts allowed, but not you crazy foul-mouthed hooligans!
Jun 2, 2008 at 4:14 pm rating: 1
#44
Epi
You can still run on deck.
Jun 2, 2008 at 6:26 pm rating: 2
#45
César
This looks like something Peter Griffin’s dad would’ve written.
that sex play was fucking delicious
Jun 2, 2008 at 6:27 pm rating: 0
#46
amy d
Just give the offenders with the “bad mouth” a couple extra pieces of Orbitz.
Jun 2, 2008 at 6:38 pm rating: 1
#47
Thomas
What they are trying to keep out are the gay men that are trying to find anonymous sex partners, not teenagers.
As a gay man, I find the practice disgusting.
Jun 3, 2008 at 11:07 am rating: 4
#48
Matt
I submitted this months ago and came back to see what was new for my birthday. Score!
Jun 3, 2008 at 3:22 pm rating: 0
#49
TuesdayPillow
The handwriting and overuse of commas indicate that the note was written by a disgruntled Hispanic, possibly a midget.
Jun 4, 2008 at 3:42 am rating: 1
#50
tori
cherry point is in north carolina.
Jun 5, 2008 at 1:19 pm rating: 1
#51
Russ
I’d just find a more wholesome water park for my kids already.
Why bother?
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
Jun 7, 2008 at 3:11 am rating: 0
#52
Fizzy
Those innocent kids were fucking delicious!
Jun 7, 2008 at 8:43 pm rating: 0
#53
maytagman
That second sign freaks me the hell out! Someone with serious brain damage, or serial killer in the making? Both?
Jun 8, 2008 at 1:45 pm rating: 1
#54
haley
That actually looks exactly like the sign outside of Green Springs in North Carolina – this huge dock thing in some old guy’s backyard.
Aug 12, 2008 at 4:12 pm rating: 0
#55
CodyAnne
It’s actually in New Bern, North Carolina. Fun place, sans teens.
Sep 6, 2008 at 6:24 pm rating: 0
#56
squarejane
well if the little kids would just clean up their “filthy words and behavior” and stop all that “sex play” then perhaps they too could join in the fun.
Oct 2, 2008 at 4:57 pm rating: 0
#57
what
This entire sign makes no sense (Handwritten one). WTF are people thinking when they write this stuff?
Dec 7, 2008 at 9:43 pm rating: 0
#58
Aurelie
Everything about this just makes me never want to swim there in the first place.
Jun 18, 2009 at 3:42 am rating: 1
#59 on second thought…maybe i’ll go home and take a bath
[...] related: maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler [...]
Aug 18, 2009 at 10:12 pm rating: 0
Comments are Closed