“this is from my shrink’s office,” explains our anonymous submitter in wisconsin. “ironically, I was going to them to help me resolve issues with my spouse’s passive-aggressive tendencies.”
can’t you just feel the repressed anger in the sudden drop-off in punctuation? (after all, if you’re not gonna use three exclamation points, why bother?)
related: perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?
65 responses so far ↓
#1
zombieBlanco
Translation: We do not give a xxxx about your problems.4
Unless we’re getting paid to give a xxxx.
Jun 8, 2008 at 11:46 pm rating: +18
#2
Mishee
I wonder if they will work for Cheese.
Jun 9, 2008 at 12:08 am rating: +5
#3
known unknown
Suicide Risks,
If you’re not covered by xxxx, you’re wasting our time, and the world’s oxygen
go die
THX
Jun 9, 2008 at 12:13 am rating: +14
#4
known unknown
dear anonymous in Wisconsin,
If I’ve learned anything about P.A. behavior from this site, it’s that all P.A. tendencies can be assuaged with a potluck, a proper garbage bag and a unitard.
I’d say there’s no need to thank me, but I hate lying.
Jun 9, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: +18
#5
amazon
Don’t they have a front office for matters like that? Why would you waste your psychologist’s time with that?
Jun 9, 2008 at 12:27 am rating: +2
#6
fantasy
I hate notes like this, they make me crazy!
Jun 9, 2008 at 12:31 am rating: +19
#7
ErikaBlare
Hmm, yes, but how does that make you feel? Betrayed? Unloved? Perhaps this is something we should devote some time to. . .
Jun 9, 2008 at 12:45 am rating: +6
#8
fantasy
Within the last year, my insurance premiums
have more than doubled!
I now pay $890.00 each and every God Damn
month , I think I know you don’t work for free.
Anything else you would like to know?
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:18 am rating: +4
#9
fantasy
I do think the note in question was written by one of the many personalities they call patients.
Why else would they think that they actually do work there!
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:32 am rating: +4
#10
paranoiagirl
I wonder if they’d accept the Charmin I’m hiding from my roommates…
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:43 am rating: +2
#11
globalnole
You should see “Casey” in Human Resources to inform us about your change in coverage.
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:43 am rating: +7
#12
Erin
This is pretty depressing. I can’t even come up with a snarky comment because I feel guilty for the patients who would have to fess up to stealing therapy.
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:45 am rating: +1
#13
zombieAzul
diagnosis: whoever wrote this note is a complete and utter wanker
treatment: psychologist, heal thyself
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:50 am rating: +3
#14
Set To Evil
Maybe if these quacks could charge less we wouldn’t need to have insurance!
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:59 am rating: +1
#15
vimandvigor
that free therapy was fucking delicious.
Jun 9, 2008 at 2:15 am rating: +2
#16
fantasy
To anonymous in Wisconsin, who had passive agressive issues with her husband. Give him some felt tip pens, some large paper and show him this sight. Then send him downtown to see what he comes up with.
*….we always need fresh notes! I think Hubby could use the therapy! Free for the making….*
Jun 9, 2008 at 2:33 am rating: +3
#17
Our Own System » Blog Archive » Passive Aggressive Profit
[...] Here’s one attempt at bringing revenues in line with those pesky expenditures. [...]
Jun 9, 2008 at 6:51 am rating: 0
#18
ZombieToo
Lucy Vanderpelt only charged 5 cents for this service. I wonder how much this quack charges?
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:53 am rating: +8
#19
Quite Contrary
And you wonder why these patients might have some issues??
Jun 9, 2008 at 9:14 am rating: 0
#20
KittyKat
It’s probably your mother’s fault.
Jun 9, 2008 at 9:53 am rating: +3
#21
Bellabeastie
PSYCHOLOGISTS
WE KNOW YOU HATE WORKING FOR FREE, SO DO WE. AND WE PRETTY MUCH HATE EVERYBODY OR WE WOULDN’T BE HERE. AND THAT MEANS YOU. SO PLEASE KEEP THE SNARKY NOTES TO A MINIMUM TO ENSURE THAT WE DON’T GO POSTAL ON YOUR ASS.
THANK YOU
Jun 9, 2008 at 10:17 am rating: +13
#22
Canthz_B
PSYCHOLOGIST
SINCE WE REALLY HATE PAYING YOU WHAT WE TAKE HOME IN ONE DAY FOR 50 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME,
WE THE PATIENTS HAVE DECIDED TO TALK THINGS OUT WITH OUR FRIENDS INSTEAD
THANK YOU
Jun 9, 2008 at 10:21 am rating: +26
#23
RP
“Since we really hate working for free”
Please, like they won’t bill you if your insurance doesn’t pay!
If they can’t even manage to be polite in a reminder about changes to insurance then it is time to find a new doctor. For crying out loud, if you’re going to a shrink then you obviously have enough problems without having to deal with some asshat every time you see your doctor.
Jun 9, 2008 at 10:22 am rating: +5
#24
Canthz_B
Any shrink worth his shingle should be able to get this information out of his patients during a therapy session:
“Well Ms. Jones, have there been any stressful changes in your personal relationships lately? How about your health insurance, any anxiety causing changes there or same benefits as last year?”
Jun 9, 2008 at 10:33 am rating: +6
#25
Canthz_B
I wanted to be a psychologist but I couldn’t pass Concerned Look 101.
Jun 9, 2008 at 10:38 am rating: +9
#26
Lurker
The repressed punctuation is clearly a sign of sublimated sexual anxiety. The writer has a paralyzing fear of running across that most phallic of grammatical symbols, the exclamation mark. The fact that only the word “free” is punctuated indicates a desire to break free from sexual repression, while the unrelievedly erect capital letters illustrate deep sexual frustration.
As Dr. Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just fucking delicious.”
Jun 9, 2008 at 11:38 am rating: +18
#27
claw71
Well, doc, it all started with a note in the break room that said my mother doesn’t work here. Then they canceled our insurance, cut our bonuses and stopped springing for coffee.
And how did that make you fee—WAIT! They canceled your insurance?
Yep. They said it was too expensive.
You’re cured!
Jun 9, 2008 at 11:48 am rating: +12
#28
Ryan
TO OUR BELOVED PATIENTS
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR INSURANCE WITH YOU BEFORE YOU CHECK IN - WE APPRECIATE IT!!!!!
THX - SANDRA
Jun 9, 2008 at 12:18 pm rating: +2
#29
Quite Contrary
But…couldn’t you see Miles or Frasier posting this very sign?
Jun 9, 2008 at 1:24 pm rating: +1
#30
GhostWriter
I’m afraid that one of the patients might Stop Making Sense and turn into a Psycho Killer.
We haven’t seen you since your last attack
Insurance coverage was revoked by fax
You can’t keep letting payments slide
Keep in touch now, so long, bye bye!
Psycho Killer, Aetna says,
Fa fa fa free sessions, fa fa fa free sessions have
All gone gone gone gone gone gone away
Why start a 12-step program if you can’t reimburse it?
You come here a lot, But you’re not payin’ anything
Insurance 2008! Your claims expired.
Co-payments suck! Why pay ‘em again?
Psycho Killer, Aetna says,
Fa fa fa free sessions, fa fa fa free sessions have
All gone gone gone gone gone gone away
Jun 9, 2008 at 2:16 pm rating: +7
#31