Next on thieves with low self-esteem…

June 9th, 2008 · 141 comments

Terri in D.C. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. First off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote ‘fuck off and die’ to a stranger.”

Second, she says: “I live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, and a high school. Classy place to curse at passersby!” And the best part, says Terri? “The neighborhood I live in in D.C. is named Mount Pleasant.”

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE THIEF...YOU HAVE FAILED YOURSELF LOSER!!!

Who knew scooter owners had such filthy mouths? 2

Who knew scooter owners had such filthy mouths? 4

Either steal it or leave it the fuck alone DON'T BE A BITCH -Owner

related: Nice try

FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · D.C. · die bitch die · irregular capitalization · questionable logic · scooters & mopeds · stealing


141 responses so far ↓

  • #1   English Fail

    Aww, the irony!!

    Jun 9, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   ErikaBlare bang

    Don’t be a bitch? Sorry, pretty rich for a man who drives a scooter. Fail.

    Bonus points for the multi-colored paper, though.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 6:56 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   park rose bang

    Well, the good thief has been granted redemption already. Considering the scooter is between two churches, there may be hope for the bad thief’s soul yet.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 6:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   ErikaBlare bang

      Unfortunately there is precious little hope for redemption regarding his capitalization, spelling, or grammarian skills. Bad spellers go straight to hell.

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   park rose bang

      Good penmanship with a cloven hoof is hard enough without having to worry about spelling too!

      Jun 9, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Another refugee from the motivational speaker circuit.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    I’d leave the scooter a mangled heap of scrap with a note saying “I may be a poor thief, but I’m a damned good vandal!”

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:09 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Wade bang

      I work near Mount Pleasant. I’m surprised it hasn’t already happened.

      Jun 9, 2008 at 8:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Sharon

      Shame on you! I don’t care how bad the grammer is….this owner doesn’t deserve that treatment, by you or the thief. He/she is obviously very frustrated from having had there scooter either vandalized or attempted to be stolen. How you you like it if someone had done that to your car (or bike, or cycle OR HOME!)?

      Shame on you!

      Jul 20, 2008 at 2:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    Of course he’s a poor thief.
    Rich thieves don’t steal scooters.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:11 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   secondsout bang

    I wouldn’t sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   park rose bang

      times ten!

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Christina

      Then you’re crazy.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 2:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   KittyKat bang

      It’s a Pee Wee Herman reference, moron.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Canthz_B bang

      OMG! We have to explain Pee Wee now?
      At least she didn’t say “Then your crazy.”

      Jun 11, 2008 at 1:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Christina

      Hey, KittyKat, I know that. You’re the moron.
      Pee Wee says “I wouldn’t sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!”

      Then Frances says: “Then you’re crazy.”

      Pee Wee: “I know you are but what am I?”

      Frances: “You’re a nerd.”

      And so on and so on.

      I expect an apology.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 3:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   KittyKat

      Hey, Christina, I know you are but what am I?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Mishee bang

      OMG! Christina, that was like, two days ago! Get over it, you might be right, but do you really need validation from a bunch of losers on the internet anyways?

      It’s like you’re unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting…

      Jun 12, 2008 at 4:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   Christina

      In my defense, I don’t like being called a moron, even if it’s from a person whose handle is about as original as a Kate Hudson movie. But you’re right, Mishee. It was two days ago, though I haven’t logged on since then. I think I may be more upset at the fact KittyKat didn’t get my reference than the fact she called me a moron.

      Mishee, you made me listen to reason. Thank you.

      KittyKat, you’re a cinematic idiot and I feel sorry for you.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   Mishee bang

      You don’t wanna get mixed up with a gal like me. I’m a loner. A rebel.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 5:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   Canthz_B bang

      Hell, if we all demanded apologies for every time we were called names or a reference was not recognized, there would be no commenting on the notes!
      Take it in stride and move on, Christina, with your incredibly original handle.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 6:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   JoeInLA

    Okay, Canthz_B, time to put the coffee pot down.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Canthz_B bang

      Comment #8 and you couldn’t address the photos?

      Sad. :???:

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Mishee bang

      I think I am the only one allowed to make a comment this high up and have it be NOTHING to do with the topic.

      But I am Mishee… I have privileges.

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    There is no rhyme or reason to when the writer chooses to use capital letters.
    All I can think of is that their health insurance changed for 2008 and they no longer see a therapist.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   secondsout bang

    You might have your scooter still, but you still ride a scooter, and have to really search for your lost dignity.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   pistola

      What do fat chicks and scooters have in common?

      Fun to ride until your friends find out.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 11:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   maytagman

      That joke didn’t go over too well on here … guess we now know the average PAN reader is a fat ass scooter owner.

      Jun 18, 2008 at 11:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   secondsout bang

    Does the scooter owner actually drive around with all those signs still attached?

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   park rose bang

      Well, the real secret is that he doesn’t have his license yet -

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      Naw, he has to replace them with Pizza Hut signs when he’s working!

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:32 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   KittyKat bang

      He doesn’t drive it – just leans up against it to attract the chicks.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   secondsout bang

    You are a *bad* grammarian. So many tries – fuck off and learn some grammar. – SecondsOut of the Greater PAN Grammar Nazi Society.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:29 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Stitchin-Liz

      and you’re on camera!

      Team Greater PAN Grammar Nazi Society!

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   GVI bang

    I had something really smart to say about this note but I decided to kill myself, just like what mr. scooter needs to do.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Mishee bang

      Let’s make koolaid

      Jun 9, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Jeffrey

      That’s urban folklore. Jonestown residents were given Flavor-Aid, and most of them were forcibly injected, so the mass-suicide meme is extremely overblown.

      Jun 16, 2008 at 9:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Mishee bang

      So they were cheap too. Can’t even spring for brand name Kool-Aid? Wow.

      Jun 16, 2008 at 10:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   maytagman

      Where the fuck would you get kool-aid in the middle of the jungle?

      Jun 18, 2008 at 11:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Mishee bang

    This is the point where the would-be thief goes to a biker bar, slashes some tires, and then tells the pissed off Hell’s Angels that is was the scooter guy.

    We will see who is the bitch then, won’t we??

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   secondsout bang

    I once made the mistake of calling one of those scooters a moped. The guy I knew who drove it was offended. Jeez, sorry…

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Joyful

    Maybe she should park her scooter somewhere else?

    *She? He?*

    Jun 9, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mishee bang

      joyful brings up a good point.

      we don’t know if the driver is an effeminate man, or a girl who (so it seems) could make a sailor blush.

      I vote girl, but then again, I am one (a girl who can make Navy men “tsk” at my colorful language) and I wouldn’t be caught dead on that thing.

      Jun 9, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   losfunkyst

    Oh yes, next time the little scooter is definatly going down the drains. As if the poor thief is not already in deep sorrow over his many failed attemps. Now he has to deal with being mocked in public ?

    I say get a shed.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 8:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Terri

    Updates!

    1. Turns out it IS a she. My roommate saw her locking up her bike.

    2. She changed all the signs into Spanish (I live in a predominantly Latino neighborhood.). Race!

    3. She DOES drive around with all the signs on.

    4. She is cray.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks for correcting that intro info! :-D

      Jun 9, 2008 at 8:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Mishee bang

      I’ve made bi-lingual signs before for workers in my apt one time.

      I understand the need to make sure your point gets across.

      For all we know this thief kept trying because he had NO IDEA that the colorful signs adorning this scooter were telling him off, he just thought they were decoration for Carnivale! But now that the sign is in Spanish, he knows he’s in deep shit now.

      Jun 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   john

      I think Thief is writing his doctoral thesis on what it takes to push the limits of the psycho scooter lady by messing with said scooter just enough to push her to deface her own scooter with all these signs. (Long sentence – sorry.) Eventually, she will destroy it herself so that Thief can’t have it. Thief will go on to have a stellar career in the behavioral modification field. Either that, or it’s those freaks from the Dharma Initiative.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 7:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   paranoiagirl bang

      It can’t be the Dharma Initiative. They would’ve successfully stolen both the scooter and the owner, and then returned both to their home with no memory of the incident.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 1:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   se

    thief must not have really tried to hard. The post that chain is around could be cut through in about 2 minutes. Bye,Bye Scootie into the back of a pickup

    Jun 9, 2008 at 8:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      *thief scratches head wondering where he can steal a hacksaw*

      Jun 9, 2008 at 8:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   se

      I guess if I were to steal a tool to get it done, it would likely be a Sawzall, cut the time down to 20 sec.
      I see hacksaws in yard sales all the time for a dollar or two with good blades. Not sure they cost all that much in the dollar stores.
      Just saying that I don’t think the thief tried very hard to steal it as she seems to say on the sign

      Jun 9, 2008 at 8:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   marcopuffin bang

      He shouldn’t be peeling off a dollar or two at a yard sale to buy a hacksaw to steal a scooter. He should do it properly and swipe the hacksaw too, or he’s a disgrace to the criminal classes. Oh yes, he’s a disgrace anyway for trying to steal such a horrible object.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 6:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Quite Contrary

    Even if she had insurance, no one would want to treat her.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Olivia bang

    I’m really digging the “steal it or don’t, but don’t be a bitch” at the end. I can always appreciate it if someone is just bluntly honest. :)

    Jun 9, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Gordon

    I see that driving down 16th street all the time! Glad you posted it!

    Jun 9, 2008 at 9:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Mishee bang

      I would LOVE to see the updated notes… who is gonna go get me some pics of that??

      Jun 9, 2008 at 9:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   mike

    bottle of water in the gas tank would work wonders

    Jun 9, 2008 at 10:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   marcopuffin bang

      or sugar

      Jun 10, 2008 at 6:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   RunBarbara bang

      or getting your BFF Linda to spray paint “prick” on the side after the owner failed to pick you up for the abortion you were having because he got you pregnant in your cabana after drinking your ice tea….

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Mishee bang

      honey, how many times do I have to tell you that Long Island Iced Tea does not actually CONTAIN any tea…

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   RunBarbara bang

      *whispers in mishees ear that she should go rent fast times at ridgemont high*

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Mishee bang

      *whispers in RB’s ear that possibly she might enjoy the flick Cruel Intentions*

      *sucks on the lobe for a quick second*

      although, Pheobe Cates is much hotter than Sarah-Michelle Gellar & Selma Blair put together…

      unless it’s the kiss-spit scene… then it’s a toss up.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Bikerbabee

    Dear psychotic scooter owner,
    Did it occur to you that I am not trying to steal your POS scooter and I am simply trying to drive you batshit?
    It looks like I have done well. Tomorrow I will lock your stupid scooter up with my own set of locks and watch you throw a hissy-fit from afar. You better notify your therapist of any insurance changes.
    cordially,
    - laughing prankster

    Jun 9, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   amazon bang

      ^^ Best idea EVER! ^^

      it’s like an unofficial boot!

      Jun 10, 2008 at 2:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   marcopuffin bang

      “Laughing Prankster” :) Better than any old Scarlet Pimpernel!

      Jun 10, 2008 at 6:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   RALPHY

    I can’t belive that this bitch thinks someone is trying to steal her crappy Yamaha rice burner. It’s just the neighborhood kids playing on it. Get over it and get a Harley.

    Jun 9, 2008 at 11:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   leigh

      Yeah, because it makes so much sense to get a excessively heavy machine toting outdated technology that will get the rider about the same gas mileage as a freakin’ CIVIC while offending anyone with functional ears. *rolls eyes*

      Maybe you are unaware but Japanese vehicles burn the same fuel as American… only with much greater efficiency.

      My 135hp, 400lb 1000cc motorcycle got almost 60mpg when I was behaving (that’s uhm 90mph on the freeway in 6th) and about 45mpg when misbehaving (that’s uhm 160mph+ on the track).

      Most of my friends with Harleys also have “rice burners” as their daily riders. The Harleys are for show… weekend warriors.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 12:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   RALPHY

      Whine! Whine! Whine!—-I’ll bet you hate apple pie and the baby Jesus too.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 8:24 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Mishee bang

      I love apple pie, and I think baby Jesus is just groovy.

      RALPHY on the other hand…. that I am not too fond of.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 8:56 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   KittyKat bang

      Burnt rice, yummmmmm.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 9:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   RALPHY

      Well in that case Mishee, I excuse you. I though you were getting on my case because you loved me. After all, my world does revolve around your approval. I think your obsession with the mundane ( yea, thats me-I admit it), belies your age. I’m getting ready to turn 66, you (I’d guess), maybe late teens.

      Jun 10, 2008 at 10:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   Mishee bang

      Poor RALPHY… don’t you know that EVERYONE needs someone to pick on!! It’s the circle of life!

      BTW – I am almost 30, but my internet persona likes to be a little childish. If I can’t be like that here, where can I be?? :D

      (BTW – LOVE mundane stuff!!)

      Jun 10, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   whatshapping bang

      RALPHY toes dust–Gosh-thanks Mishee, can we have sex now!

      Jun 10, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.8   Mishee bang

      you are gonna have to ask RB’s permission first – she kind of owns me now.

      Hey, the checks clear…

      Jun 10, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Total Douche bang

    Actually, I can almost sympathize with the owner of the scooter. A friend of mine had a motorcycle some years ago, and the few times people attempted to steal it, they would fuck up the ignition system trying to get it started, and then drop it on the ground when they were unsuccessful. It would then have to be repaired before it would start again. I remember vividly, because he always called me to get it home in my truck. My guess is she is running into a similar problem, some asshole fucks up the ignition trying to get it started, then just drops it on the ground and takes off.
    Also, with gas being 9.7 bazillion fucking dollars an ounce, I would gladly drive that thing to work, fuck what people think, I bet it gets 120 mpg. The 8 cylinder beast I drive is LUCKY to average 14.
    Go Team Scooter!

    Jun 9, 2008 at 11:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   leigh

      It could be that someone is messing with it for fun. That is not uncommon in San Francisco. My friend parked his bike there and people would mess with his brakes and bar ends all the time. He almost got into a wreck the first time… after that he learned to do a thorough check before leaving for work.

      I don’t really understand why people are so down on scooters. I personally wouldn’t ride one but that’s because it wouldn’t do what I want my two wheeled creatures to do. Anyone who rides around on two wheels is better than everyone in four… no matter the SIZE (what is it with this freakin’ country and size any way?)… simply because they’re using up less space, they help traffic and aren’t burning as much gas… oh oh, and are really brave.

      Jun 9, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Total Douche bang

      …and what is it you want your “two wheeled creatures” to DO, exactly…?

      Jun 10, 2008 at 12:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Canthz_B bang

      Sounds like an expensive vibrator if you ask me. :twisted:

      Jun 10, 2008 at 6:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   THE EVENS

    MOUNT PLEASANT ISNT ANY MORE

    Jun 10, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Erin

    oooh can you post the Spanish photos? I’d love to see her Spanish grammar!! “No robas mi scooter, perra!!!”

    Jun 10, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   amazon bang

      Google Translations FTW!

      Jun 10, 2008 at 2:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Andre

      Perhaps the PANW would be more successful if she attached a hacksaw with instructions for use (in Spanish, naturellement.)

      Jun 10, 2008 at 3:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   flushpatrol

    hey, i posted this where he works, near my office! I guess my pics weren’t clear enough.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 7:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   claw71 bang

    I could just see this crazy bitch riding her scooter into the roughest neighborhood in town to taunt the gangstas.

    You guys aren’t tough at all. I’ve been here for an hour and haven’t been raped. What kind of gang is this anyway? You’re all losers and failures. Either rape me or go home.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 8:41 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   southern girl

    Does this fool have to take all this CRAP off every time he wants to ride this hunk of junk?????

    Like these signs would deter a REAL thief. If I were stealing it, I’d take all these signs off and pile them in a heap next to where this scooter USED to stay.

    Times ten.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 8:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   KittyKat bang

    Hmm, I never knew “The 40-year-old Virgin” was based on a true story.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 9:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Joseph R.

    Team “Fuck Off and Die.”
    I hate thieves.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Garcy

    “4. She is cray.”

    I’ve known some cray people over the years. It’s always best to walk on the other side of the street, humming innocent tunes to yourself, and avoid all eye contact with the said cray person.

    Or maybe Terri meant that the note writer is related to the notorious British gangsters, The Crays? That would explain the aggression and the potty mouth. :)

    Jun 10, 2008 at 11:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Susan

    Ha! I see that bike all the time. but anyone who thinks no one wouldn’t steal that bike obviously does not know Mt. P. They’ll steal the tires off your bicycle if you don’t lock it up.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 11:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Ana

    Theft is an issue in Mt. Pleasant. There is no way I would park a scooter or a motorcycle on the street overnight.

    Team Scooter!

    BTW: Signs in Spanish and english are needed in this neighborhood!

    Jun 10, 2008 at 11:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Mishee bang

      I realize that, living in my own “Little Mexico” – but dammit, we want pictures of the bilingual signs!

      The PAN public has inquiring, and sometimes snarky minds that want to know!!

      Jun 10, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Ryan

    I don’t get it – what are they protesting with all those brightly colored signs? (I think I saw a stolen Obama for President sign in there.)

    On another note, I like how the scooter owner has given personality to the thief/thieves. They assume (naturally) that if anyone has tried to steal the scooter – it must be the same thief (repeatedly). It’s not say drunks leaving the bar at night wanted to go on a joy ride, or thatbored teenagers or some junky trying to pawn the thing!

    Of course (it’s one solitary person who is as interested in infuriating the owner as they are dedicated to the crime.)

    Move your bike or lose it. The signs don’t help, they only make you look like a clown!

    Jun 10, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Brian

    Wouldn’t one “Please, slash my tires, bash my headlight in with a brick and strip everything not held in place by the lock off of me” sign have been easier?

    Jun 10, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Ryan

    Steal or Don’t Steal, there is no try.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 12:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Em

    I know this scooter! It’s just down the street in my neighborhood..hilarious!

    Jun 10, 2008 at 3:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Mishee bang

    I’m starting to get a little pissy that every-fuckin’-body in Mt. Pleasant knows this scooter, yet NOBODY has returned to PAN with pics of the spanish language signs that now adorn it.

    For shame, all of you…

    For shame!

    Jun 10, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   se

      maybe it finally did get stolen

      Jun 10, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   claw71 bang

    Frankly I’m disgusted that none of the people who recognize this scooter took it upon themselves to take action.

    How hard is it to hawk a loogie on the instrument cluster or squish a clump of dog poop on the seat? And where’s the pithy response in the form of an epoxy-based penis stuck to the front of this scooter like a perverted hood ornament?

    Jun 10, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Terri

    I will go try to take photos tonight of the new signs.

    No expoxy-based penises yet, but there have been some sharpie-based penises on the dashboard (or whatever you call that area on a scooter).

    Jun 10, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   MtP Resident

    I live in the same building as this woman, and you know what? I commend her approach. I almost did the same thing a few months ago when someone threw a billiard ball threw my car window.

    Mount Pleasant isn’t a nice place to wreck someone’s belongings. There is irony in the signs and their language, but there are a few neighbors who have an utter lack of consideration for their neighborhood and their neighbors.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Mount P

    I also live in Mt. Pleasant and see this crazy woman all the time. Not only is she angry, she also illegally rides the scooter on the sidewalk. She needs to be pranked. Relentlessly.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 5:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Cissy

    Ah, Mount UNPleasant. So glad I don’t live there anymore.

    Jun 10, 2008 at 5:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Mike Licht

    This is a great way to turn a would-be thief into a successful vandal. Two flat tires, punctured gas tank, snipped cables . . . .

    Jun 10, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Mike Licht

    . . . of course, this all assumes the would-be thief is literate .

    Jun 10, 2008 at 6:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Rohan Thomas

     
  • #50   timbuktu

    get a life!!

    Jun 10, 2008 at 11:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   flippy

    I happened to meet this woman. She’s not an angry person– very friendly, actually. Her scooter has been vandalized constantly over the years. Being pranked is one thing– having your property ruined is another.

    Why is all the criticism on this thread aimed at her, when it should be directed towards the people who think it is somehow acceptable to be destructive with no purpose?

    Jun 11, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #51.1   GhostWriter bang

      Of course she’s not angry; she’s passive/aggressive! Come on, flippy- if she has a recurring vandalism issue, one of the worst ways to address it is to post brightly colored “bring-it-on” invitations.

      Oh, and don’t think we don’t realize that the scooter owner is really you.

      Jun 11, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #51.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      Because the horrible vandal bastards are not leaving funny brightly colored notes. Please understand. I feel confident that 99/100 of the people on here would shout a mean voiced “What do you think you are doing?!?” at any little vandal bastards messing with her scooter. The point of this site is to poke fun and view with humor the passive aggressive notes left around the world. The point is not to commiserate together about the state of the world or its horrors but to find humor in it. There have been jokes made at the expense of the would be thieves and vandals, but they are a less ripe source for humor.

      Jun 11, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #51.3   Mishee bang

      Now if the vandals had left responses on equally brightly colored pieces of paper, with rants and insults inserted in, then maybe we would make fun of them too…

      But until they do…

      Now… where the hell are my Spanish notes?? Damn! I sent like THREE different people on the mission to get me pics, can’t anyone do anything right around here anymore?!?!

      Jun 11, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #51.4   Canthz_B bang

      You’re not in Kansas anymore, flippy…or are you?
      If so, wouldn’t intelligent design dictate that the owner of a frequently vandalized scooter find a safer place to park it?

      “Fuck off and die” is not something most “friendly” people say.

      Jun 11, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #52   scooter owner

    I am the owner of the scooter. And I am a person who is tired of people who take from others instead of working for their own things.

    The damage is from the would be thieves trying to yank my scooter lock from an iron fence that is in concrete.

    To tell you the truth I wish I can catch the person or persons doing this so I am setting up a webcam from my apartment window.

    It is not ok and I am tired of it! And for those who suggest for me to park it else where, well why should I have to? It is parked in front of where I live. If you don’t stand up for something you will fall for anything. I face everything head on. AND at this point I want a new scooter my poor scooter has scratches all over it a bent rim from them trying to yank the thing off of the fence, two broken mirrors a slashed seat and a cracked muffler.

    And to those who have the least nice things to say. I sold my car because I don’t need it (I get 170 miles to a tank of gas…..what do you get), and I work for the National Association of Broadcasters, manager of television membership…and I just graduated with my MBA. And I am a very nice person that treats everyone the way I would want to be treated. But when one has had enough they have had it. If there were somewhere else to park it….don’t you think I would…

    Jun 12, 2008 at 4:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #52.1   Mishee bang

      will YOU send us pictures of the spanish signs then?? everyone else flaked out on me!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.2   scooter owner

      I am at the beach right now…when I get home I will take some pictures of the new signs in spanish and send them.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 5:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.3   Mishee bang

      *wondering why ginger_buzz is on PAN while at the beach… hmmm…even I wouldn’t go on PAN while at the beach….!*

      *well, ok, maybe just to check in and see if there’s a new note…but that’s it!!*

      *twitch*

      Jun 12, 2008 at 5:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.4   Canthz_B bang

      And here I was thinking of parking garages!
      But then you’d have to take some of your Manager of TV Membership money and pay for security. So much smarter to leave your scooter out in public where any Tom, Dick or Harry can fuck with it.
      Of course, I don’t have an MBA or anything, so what could I possibly know?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 5:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.5   scooter owner

      well, lets see if I had parking garage at 3200 16th street it would be in there…….so what do you suggest I go get a spot ten blocks away in some garage, well shit I might as well take the bus to work then…..like I said on my signs….. steal it (I have insurance)..or leave it alone!

      And for the previous comment, I am at the beach chilling and get a text to check my email today and it was a link to this and other spots talking about my scooter.

      Please note for all of you that since the signs……my scooter has not been bothered……so call me crazy (oh yea…you did). But my frustration has actually ended up in a sort of positive outcome……. despite all of the negative energy that all the persons have commented on the post about my scooter.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.6   Mishee bang

      “oh yea… you did” <— Genius

      and I am pretty sure everyone called you “cray”

      Typos are cool.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.7   Wade bang

      I find it amusing that you would complain about the negative energy of the comments about your scooter, considering the intense level of negative energy plastered all over the aforementioned scooter.

      :D

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.8   PANU bang

      I’m calling shenanigans. No one in a graduate program would be allowed to leave with a degree and that type of grammar and punctuation. It’s okay if that’s how you write, but don’t go claiming a job and education you couldn’t possibly have acquired. If your response is going to be that you are on some type of device which makes it easier to drop punctuation, I will still call bull because after getting a graduate degree, it would be ingrained. You wouldn’t be able to help it.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.9   Mishee bang

      And why would you live in a neighborhood where it would “for sure to be stolen if not locked up” if you make that kind of money?

      It took me 7 years to finish high school and I never finished a college course, I make a pretty good amount of money, and I live in one of the the most expensive parts of the country (yes, I think we even outrank DC) and I can leave my bike outside for a little while, and it won’t get fucked with… of course, when I make P/A notes, I still do have to do them in Spanish/English….

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.10   Canthz_B bang

      Give that girl a cigar!!
      Yes! You might as well take a bus or subway to work. You live in the most public transportation equipped city in the world, yet add stress to your life over a damned scooter.
      You say that you’d like to catch the person or persons behind this and then say that it is no longer happening. You ask why you should have to park elsewhere while complaining that where you do park is not secure.
      You, my dear friend, have more than one screw loose.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.11   Canthz_B bang

      BTW, you’re not getting a dime from your insurance company if your scooter is stolen.
      You advertised for it to be stolen, not a bright, MBA type thing to do!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.12   Mishee bang

      *starting to wonder if this alleged MBA came from an accredited college or university*

      Were they correspondence courses scooterowner?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.13   marcopuffin bang

      scooter owner – don’t lament your scooter’s battered condition; it’s probably its best protection (one you get those come-and-get-me signs off).

      Jun 13, 2008 at 5:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.14   jess

      umm…i get 360 miles a tank….i would say thats more than double your tank. next time talk mpg not miles per tank….

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.15   Mishee bang

      jess, I am sure she got confused. She has so many MBA type thoughts running through her head.

      Plus, she has to keep an eye on her scooter parked out front.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #52.16   Pasifim

      Bonus: Since scooter owner was kind/foolish enough to share her address (3200 16th Street/Washington, DC), Google Maps has a picture of the scooter chained to a post (angle the camera to the right and you’ll see the blue and white beauty down the street 15 or so feet). But sorry Mishee, still no signs in Spanish.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #53   Dave

    angry…everyone is angry.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 5:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   scooter owner

    Also, since so many speculate…….you want to know a little about me..
    myspace.com/ginger_buzz

    Ask me!

    Jun 12, 2008 at 5:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #54.1   PANU bang

      http://blog.myspace.com/ginger_buzz

      I notice depression and too many ellipses. Are you really the scooter owner?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.2   Mishee bang

      She could be, she is a 32 year old single Taurus…

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.3   Mishee bang

      whose mood is currently: overstimulated

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.4   Andre

      By los enojados?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #55   zom-bot.com

    get an alarm already. $40 t autozone. i have one for my honda ruckus- works for the metropolitan also. he’s just gonna piss the theif off and get vandalized.

    Jun 17, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   octavius

    I love the way one card is signed “-Owner-” like there is a possibility that some random passer by just decided to stick it on. Also, why do so many of these people write the letter E like a reverse 3 both in upper and lower case?

    Jun 18, 2008 at 12:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Galactastica

    actually that scooter is worth a good $3000 or more, they also last for years and years with no problems, they are a hot item to steal because they are such good quality and are in such high demand right now.

    Jul 29, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
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