terri in d.c. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. first off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote “fuck off and die” to a stranger.”
second, she says: “i live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, and a high school. classy place to curse at passersby!” and the best part, says terri? “the neighborhood i live in in d.c. is named mount pleasant.”
related: nice try
141 responses so far ↓
#1
English Fail
Aww, the irony!!
Jun 9, 2008 at 6:53 pm rating: +1
#2
ErikaBlare
Don’t be a bitch? Sorry, pretty rich for a man who drives a scooter. Fail.
Bonus points for the multi-colored paper, though.
Jun 9, 2008 at 6:56 pm rating: +17
#3
park rose
Well, the good thief has been granted redemption already. Considering the scooter is between two churches, there may be hope for the bad thief’s soul yet.
Jun 9, 2008 at 6:59 pm rating: +4
#4
Canthz_B
Another refugee from the motivational speaker circuit.
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:03 pm rating: +6
#5
Canthz_B
I’d leave the scooter a mangled heap of scrap with a note saying “I may be a poor thief, but I’m a damned good vandal!”
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:09 pm rating: +43
#6
Canthz_B
Of course he’s a poor thief.
Rich thieves don’t steal scooters.
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:11 pm rating: +19
#7
secondsout
I wouldn’t sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: +7
#8
JoeInLA
Okay, Canthz_B, time to put the coffee pot down.
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:16 pm rating: +1
#9
Canthz_B
There is no rhyme or reason to when the writer chooses to use capital letters.
All I can think of is that their health insurance changed for 2008 and they no longer see a therapist.
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:18 pm rating: +4
#10
secondsout
You might have your scooter still, but you still ride a scooter, and have to really search for your lost dignity.
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: +14
#11
secondsout
Does the scooter owner actually drive around with all those signs still attached?
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:22 pm rating: +1
#12
secondsout
You are a *bad* grammarian. So many tries – fuck off and learn some grammar. – SecondsOut of the Greater PAN Grammar Nazi Society.
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:29 pm rating: +11
#13
GVI
I had something really smart to say about this note but I decided to kill myself, just like what mr. scooter needs to do.
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:42 pm rating: +4
#14
Mishee
This is the point where the would-be thief goes to a biker bar, slashes some tires, and then tells the pissed off Hell’s Angels that is was the scooter guy.
We will see who is the bitch then, won’t we??
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:46 pm rating: +7
#15
secondsout
I once made the mistake of calling one of those scooters a moped. The guy I knew who drove it was offended. Jeez, sorry…
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:50 pm rating: +4
#16
Joyful
Maybe she should park her scooter somewhere else?
*She? He?*
Jun 9, 2008 at 7:57 pm rating: 0
#17
losfunkyst
Oh yes, next time the little scooter is definatly going down the drains. As if the poor thief is not already in deep sorrow over his many failed attemps. Now he has to deal with being mocked in public ?
I say get a shed.
Jun 9, 2008 at 8:07 pm rating: +3
#18
Terri
Updates!
1. Turns out it IS a she. My roommate saw her locking up her bike.
2. She changed all the signs into Spanish (I live in a predominantly Latino neighborhood.). Race!
3. She DOES drive around with all the signs on.
4. She is cray.
Jun 9, 2008 at 8:08 pm rating: +19
#19
se
thief must not have really tried to hard. The post that chain is around could be cut through in about 2 minutes. Bye,Bye Scootie into the back of a pickup
Jun 9, 2008 at 8:10 pm rating: +3
#20
Quite Contrary
Even if she had insurance, no one would want to treat her.
Jun 9, 2008 at 8:56 pm rating: +1
#21
Olivia
I’m really digging the “steal it or don’t, but don’t be a bitch” at the end. I can always appreciate it if someone is just bluntly honest.
Jun 9, 2008 at 9:15 pm rating: +10
#22
Gordon
I see that driving down 16th street all the time! Glad you posted it!
Jun 9, 2008 at 9:31 pm rating: +3
#23
mike
bottle of water in the gas tank would work wonders
Jun 9, 2008 at 10:49 pm rating: +1
#24
Bikerbabee
Dear psychotic scooter owner,
Did it occur to you that I am not trying to steal your POS scooter and I am simply trying to drive you batshit?
It looks like I have done well. Tomorrow I will lock your stupid scooter up with my own set of locks and watch you throw a hissy-fit from afar. You better notify your therapist of any insurance changes.
cordially,
- laughing prankster
Jun 9, 2008 at 10:58 pm rating: +27
#25
RALPHY
I can’t belive that this bitch thinks someone is trying to steal her crappy Yamaha rice burner. It’s just the neighborhood kids playing on it. Get over it and get a Harley.
Jun 9, 2008 at 11:32 pm rating: +6
#26
Total Douche
Actually, I can almost sympathize with the owner of the scooter. A friend of mine had a motorcycle some years ago, and the few times people attempted to steal it, they would fuck up the ignition system trying to get it started, and then drop it on the ground when they were unsuccessful. It would then have to be repaired before it would start again. I remember vividly, because he always called me to get it home in my truck. My guess is she is running into a similar problem, some asshole fucks up the ignition trying to get it started, then just drops it on the ground and takes off.
Also, with gas being 9.7 bazillion fucking dollars an ounce, I would gladly drive that thing to work, fuck what people think, I bet it gets 120 mpg. The 8 cylinder beast I drive is LUCKY to average 14.
Go Team Scooter!
Jun 9, 2008 at 11:44 pm rating: +7
#27
THE EVENS
MOUNT PLEASANT ISNT ANY MORE
Jun 10, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: +4
#28
Erin
oooh can you post the Spanish photos? I’d love to see her Spanish grammar!! “No robas mi scooter, perra!!!”
Jun 10, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: +3
#29
flushpatrol
hey, i posted this where he works, near my office! I guess my pics weren’t clear enough.
Jun 10, 2008 at 7:41 am rating: 0
#30
claw71
I could just see this crazy bitch riding her scooter into the roughest neighborhood in town to taunt the gangstas.
You guys aren’t tough at all. I’ve been here for an hour and haven’t been raped. What kind of gang is this anyway? You’re all losers and failures. Either rape me or go home.
Jun 10, 2008 at 8:41 am rating: +11
#31
southern girl
Does this fool have to take all this CRAP off every time he wants to ride this hunk of junk?????
Like these signs would deter a REAL thief. If I were stealing it, I’d take all these signs off and pile them in a heap next to where this scooter USED to stay.
Times ten.
Jun 10, 2008 at 8:47 am rating: 0
#32
KittyKat
Hmm, I never knew “The 40-year-old Virgin” was based on a true story.
Jun 10, 2008 at 9:25 am rating: +2
#33
Joseph R.
Team “Fuck Off and Die.”
I hate thieves.
Jun 10, 2008 at 10:48 am rating: +2
#34
Garcy
“4. She is cray.”
I’ve known some cray people over the years. It’s always best to walk on the other side of the street, humming innocent tunes to yourself, and avoid all eye contact with the said cray person.
Or maybe Terri meant that the note writer is related to the notorious British gangsters, The Crays? That would explain the aggression and the potty mouth.
Jun 10, 2008 at 11:14 am rating: +1
#35
Susan
Ha! I see that bike all the time. but anyone who thinks no one wouldn’t steal that bike obviously does not know Mt. P. They’ll steal the tires off your bicycle if you don’t lock it up.
Jun 10, 2008 at 11:32 am rating: 0
#36
Ana
Theft is an issue in Mt. Pleasant. There is no way I would park a scooter or a motorcycle on the street overnight.
Team Scooter!
BTW: Signs in Spanish and english are needed in this neighborhood!
Jun 10, 2008 at 11:35 am rating: 0
#37
Ryan
I don’t get it – what are they protesting with all those brightly colored signs? (I think I saw a stolen Obama for President sign in there.)
On another note, I like how the scooter owner has given personality to the thief/thieves. They assume (naturally) that if anyone has tried to steal the scooter – it must be the same thief (repeatedly). It’s not say drunks leaving the bar at night wanted to go on a joy ride, or thatbored teenagers or some junky trying to pawn the thing!
Of course (it’s one solitary person who is as interested in infuriating the owner as they are dedicated to the crime.)
Move your bike or lose it. The signs don’t help, they only make you look like a clown!
Jun 10, 2008 at 11:55 am rating: +4
#38
Brian
Wouldn’t one “Please, slash my tires, bash my headlight in with a brick and strip everything not held in place by the lock off of me” sign have been easier?
Jun 10, 2008 at 12:35 pm rating: +1
#39
Ryan
Steal or Don’t Steal, there is no try.
Jun 10, 2008 at 12:40 pm rating: +3
#40
Em
I know this scooter! It’s just down the street in my neighborhood..hilarious!
Jun 10, 2008 at 3:00 pm rating: 0
#41
Mishee
I’m starting to get a little pissy that every-fuckin’-body in Mt. Pleasant knows this scooter, yet NOBODY has returned to PAN with pics of the spanish language signs that now adorn it.
For shame, all of you…
For shame!
Jun 10, 2008 at 3:09 pm rating: +1
#42
claw71
Frankly I’m disgusted that none of the people who recognize this scooter took it upon themselves to take action.
How hard is it to hawk a loogie on the instrument cluster or squish a clump of dog poop on the seat? And where’s the pithy response in the form of an epoxy-based penis stuck to the front of this scooter like a perverted hood ornament?
Jun 10, 2008 at 3:53 pm rating: +2
#43
Terri
I will go try to take photos tonight of the new signs.
No expoxy-based penises yet, but there have been some sharpie-based penises on the dashboard (or whatever you call that area on a scooter).
Jun 10, 2008 at 4:54 pm rating: 0
#44
MtP Resident
I live in the same building as this woman, and you know what? I commend her approach. I almost did the same thing a few months ago when someone threw a billiard ball threw my car window.
Mount Pleasant isn’t a nice place to wreck someone’s belongings. There is irony in the signs and their language, but there are a few neighbors who have an utter lack of consideration for their neighborhood and their neighbors.
Jun 10, 2008 at 4:57 pm rating: 0
#45 Sonny Bunch » The joys of city living …
[...] I find most amusing about this post at Passive Aggressive Notes is that the person submitting the note complained about the foul [...]
Jun 10, 2008 at 5:13 pm rating: 0
#46
Mount P
I also live in Mt. Pleasant and see this crazy woman all the time. Not only is she angry, she also illegally rides the scooter on the sidewalk. She needs to be pranked. Relentlessly.
Jun 10, 2008 at 5:16 pm rating: 0
#47
Cissy
Ah, Mount UNPleasant. So glad I don’t live there anymore.
Jun 10, 2008 at 5:33 pm rating: 0
#48
Mike Licht
This is a great way to turn a would-be thief into a successful vandal. Two flat tires, punctured gas tank, snipped cables . . . .
Jun 10, 2008 at 5:57 pm rating: 0
#49
Mike Licht
. . . of course, this all assumes the would-be thief is literate .
Jun 10, 2008 at 6:00 pm rating: 0
#50 The Web Platform @ Rohan Thomas' Blog : Sophisticated Sarcasm
[...] Check out the source here [...]
Jun 10, 2008 at 11:18 pm rating: 0
#51
Rohan Thomas
http://blogs.msdn.com/rohant/archive/2008/06/11/sophisticated-sarcasm.aspx
Jun 10, 2008 at 11:19 pm rating: 0
#52
timbuktu
get a life!!
Jun 10, 2008 at 11:25 pm rating: 0
#53
flippy
I happened to meet this woman. She’s not an angry person– very friendly, actually. Her scooter has been vandalized constantly over the years. Being pranked is one thing– having your property ruined is another.
Why is all the criticism on this thread aimed at her, when it should be directed towards the people who think it is somehow acceptable to be destructive with no purpose?
Jun 11, 2008 at 12:26 pm rating: 0
#54
scooter owner
I am the owner of the scooter. And I am a person who is tired of people who take from others instead of working for their own things.
The damage is from the would be thieves trying to yank my scooter lock from an iron fence that is in concrete.
To tell you the truth I wish I can catch the person or persons doing this so I am setting up a webcam from my apartment window.
It is not ok and I am tired of it! And for those who suggest for me to park it else where, well why should I have to? It is parked in front of where I live. If you don’t stand up for something you will fall for anything. I face everything head on. AND at this point I want a new scooter my poor scooter has scratches all over it a bent rim from them trying to yank the thing off of the fence, two broken mirrors a slashed seat and a cracked muffler.
And to those who have the least nice things to say. I sold my car because I don’t need it (I get 170 miles to a tank of gas…..what do you get), and I work for the National Association of Broadcasters, manager of television membership…and I just graduated with my MBA. And I am a very nice person that treats everyone the way I would want to be treated. But when one has had enough they have had it. If there were somewhere else to park it….don’t you think I would…
Jun 12, 2008 at 4:48 pm rating: +2
#55
Dave
angry…everyone is angry.
Jun 12, 2008 at 5:06 pm rating: +1
#56
scooter owner
Also, since so many speculate…….you want to know a little about me..
myspace.com/ginger_buzz
Ask me!
Jun 12, 2008 at 5:10 pm rating: 0
#57
zom-bot.com
get an alarm already. $40 t autozone. i have one for my honda ruckus- works for the metropolitan also. he’s just gonna piss the theif off and get vandalized.
Jun 17, 2008 at 4:14 pm rating: 0
#58
octavius
I love the way one card is signed “-Owner-” like there is a possibility that some random passer by just decided to stick it on. Also, why do so many of these people write the letter E like a reverse 3 both in upper and lower case?
Jun 18, 2008 at 12:11 am rating: 0
#59
Galactastica
actually that scooter is worth a good $3000 or more, they also last for years and years with no problems, they are a hot item to steal because they are such good quality and are in such high demand right now.
Jul 29, 2008 at 9:17 pm rating: 0
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