Get the hell out (and good luck next year!)

June 12th, 2008 · 116 comments

Writes an anonymous submitter in Peterborough, Ontario: “This past year, my roommates and I had a stranger rent the extra room in our house, and he turned out to be a socially oblivious slob we spent the entire year picking up after.” As frustrating as the situation was, his roommate Andrew can’t seem to fully distance himself from his inborn Canadian niceness, even in this final send-off.

Steve: Seriously clean the upper back fridge

related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten

FILED UNDER: Canada · cleaning · fridge · Ontario · roommates · thanks (but not really)


116 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Canthz_B bang

    Doing dishes in the back bathroom?
    That’s a novelty.
    You know things have gotten bad when your kitchen sink privileges are revoked!

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mishee bang

      I think I prefer to assume they are actually washing the dishes in the back bathroom, than the alternative which is: clean all of the dishes that are IN the back bathroom.

      Dishes piling up in the bathroom? I hope it’s just alot of rinsing cups….

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   secondsout bang

      Maybe his method of dishes is to take a bath and bring the dishes with him. It’s like a rubber ducky, but with less personality.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   RunBarbara bang

      thats why i only eat stolen hot pockets in the tub. no dishes, the spilled bbq beef gets poked down the drain and then i throw away that g-damn space sleeve that makes the crust so delectable and crispy….

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   KittyKat

      I prefer getting my dishes washed in the bedroom, but that’s just me.

      Oh wait, he’s talking about real dishes.

      Never mind.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   RunBarbara bang

      i prefer having my dishes “soaked”.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Mishee bang

      I don’t know if RB was talking about real dishes though… she did mention a “hot pocket”

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   RunBarbara bang

      you can ask s’out about our “hot pockets”. maybe he can lend you the tape we made…

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Mishee bang

      only if it’s a documentary

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   RunBarbara bang

      “instructional”

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   just me

    first! ohhh I had to do it after: (but if you feel the urge to post “first!” — resist.)

    see what PA’s do to one?

    why are there dishes in the bathroom??? Does he make his salad while he showers?

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Sarah bang

      When the paper products are gone, you have to improvise with whatever you can find. Dishes included.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Bunnee bang

      @Just me–like Kramer?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   zombieBlanco bang

    Perhaps the problem was that in the past Steve had only been cleaning frivolously?

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   freedomcows007

      perhaps even glibly?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   just me

    damn you Canthz_B ruined my first and first bathroom comment ;-)

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   zombieBlanco bang

      pretty sure you did that on your own :grin:

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Mishee bang

      A Tip: If you post “First!” and end up NOT being “First!” then odds are you should backedit.

      See what happened to me yesterday when I miscounted my words? Learn from my mistakes!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Brian

    Odds that the guy did any of those things … nil.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Michael

    Gotta be nice to someone who still has a key to your house! Good call by the Canuck.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Mishee bang

    I saw a note like this one time, it started:

    Cinderella…
    We will be out late since we are going to the King’s Ball, this is what we want done….

    WTF?

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   ErikaBlare bang

    It appears there is a note written on the back side of this letter. PAN readers demand to know!

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mishee bang

      Erika – Good effin luck… I have been waiting for my effin Spanish scooter signs for 2 effin days! Dammit! It’s probably easier to get a tank of frickin’ sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to the top of their frickin’ heads!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   zombieBlanco bang

      PAN readers wonder if it is in français?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   ErikaBlare bang

      Mishee, tell me how you really frickin’ feel! ;)

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Mishee bang

      ZB – c’est possible

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Quite Contrary

      Frickin’? I thought it was effin.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 10:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   cre8tivewmn bang

      I was curious, so I flipped the picture and enhanced it to see what was written on the back. It seems to be notes about a death and planning for a funeral. What I can read says

      ” Funeral documentation -> Funeral notes
      Illness, doctor [something] twelve[?]
      Death [something] obit from newspaper
      Cause[?] certificate [etc.]

      Here’s the enhanced photo
      http://www.flickr.com/photos/23968618@N07/2573922545/

      Sorry to whoever wrote the note.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 11:18 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   amazon bang

      Maybe Andrew is planning Steve’s “untimely” death.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:04 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   KittyKat

      Damn! You have my undying respect, cre8tivewmn.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   Ryan

      You beautiful bastard! I love a mystery. This is great.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 5:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   RunBarbara

      It could have been from someone going to school for mortuary sciences. I work with a guy that is getting his coroner’s license and they test him on things like that.
      Mayyybe?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 6:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   JoeInLA

      Maybe they were planning to kill him and decided to give him once last chance to leave under his own power before they were forced to beat him to death with the dirty dishes and carry him out feet first?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   cre8tivewmn bang

      You’re welcome. Just doing my part.

      BTW I’ve decided that “twelve” is timeline.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   secondsout bang

    Clean the upper back fridge? How many fridges do these guys have? It would seem that at least nine are stacked together, like on Hollywood Squares. Don’t worry about cleaning the other eight, just make sure the upper back fridge is cleaned out. That’s the one where the salmon rotted, and it smells like a dead whore.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Mishee bang

      why, may I ask, do you know what a dead whore smells like?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:42 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   secondsout bang

      Among my favorite limericks:

      There once was a caveman named Dave
      Who kept a dead whore in his cave
      Now fucking dead meat
      Might not be a treat
      But think of the money he saved

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Mishee bang

      soooo…. you still didn’t answer my question…

      unless your name is Dave??

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   secondsout bang

      Mishee, just think of the money one saves!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Mishee bang

      I can see when someone is skirting the issue… your silence affirms my suspicions, and I will be notifying the proper authorities…

      (meaning RB – via our Dirty Lezzie ESP)

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   supposedtobeworking

      Or Casey in Human Resources?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   Mishee bang

      Casey in Human Resources is RB’s evil alter ego.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   RunBarbara bang

      No, my alter ego is Alice Phallus and I perform nightly at-
      Oooo, Mishee, you dirty bitch! You almost tricked me into giving away my secret secrets!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   Mishee bang

      I could’ve sworn it was acutally Anastasia Beaverhousen….

      *gets a little bit turned on when RB calls her a ‘dirty bitch’* Will you pull my hair a little? :D

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe Mishee and RB should get a room! :-P

      Jun 14, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   ErikaBlare bang

    PAN writers should learn to not split infinitives.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   summer

      Bless you!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   se

    Steve should leave the key in the oldest foulest thing in the refrigerator.
    maybe the year old mac and cheese.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 9:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   John in IL

    I love how Andrew is so grossed out by Steve, his upper back fridge and his bathroom dishes that he took the time to draw that purple force field around Steve’s name. You wouldn’t want any of that nasty Steve to get on your PAN.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 9:45 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   TuesdayPillow

    Bathroom dishes? That’s a GREAT idea!

    Jun 12, 2008 at 10:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   RALPHY

      I agree, you could put them next to the decorative towels. That might even complete the place setting.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   fink

      They’ll really tie the room together.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 2:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   cre8tivewmn bang

    I’m so confused. What was this supposed to say?

    “Seriously, dude, clean the fridge….” or “No f*ing around this time, really clean the fridge…”

    Now, about the upper back fridge (and assuming they don’t have 9 of them). Do they divide the fridge into quadrants, or is he talking about cleaning the outside in an area previously missed?

    The rest is no better. Can he just get the dishes from the bathroom and wash them in the kitchen sink? Why would you leave keys on the stairs?

    The note finishes with a classic good wish, to negate all the micromanaging that has gone on before, or perhaps just to say something that made sense after all the confusing verbiage.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   ErikaBlare bang

      I agree. A little punctuation goes a long way.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 10:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Quite Contrary

    STEVE. SERIOUSLY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN “BETTER” IF YOU HADN’T HAD THE MONGOLIAN BBQ POTLUCK, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE BACK BATHROOM IS NOW SEVERELY “BACKLOGGED” FROM ALL THE GIRLS “THROWING UP.” UNFORTUNATELY, CASEY IN HUMAN RESOURCES IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, SO SHE CAN’T HELP. YOU REALLY NEED TO CLEAN IT ALL UP AND GET THE “F” OUT OF HERE. THX, SANDRA.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Cowgirlgraphics

      That Mongolian BBQ in the back of the fridge was fucking delicious.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   bellabeastie

    To: Seriously Steve -

    I’m not effin around this time. The nasty dishes left in – well, wherever you left them – 2 places – am I am counting. Clean up your shit, and leave a number, because I am sick of you and will hunt you down. Be sure you leave your room nicey-nice.

    Oh, and the keys go on the stairs. Thank you.

    From: Good Luck Next Year Andrew

    Jun 12, 2008 at 11:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Bikerbabee

    Katelyn obviously told them about the other roomate Sam and how she freaks out when the kitchen sink is not clean. This is why all the boys do the dishes in the bathroom.
    –This has nothing to do with the post but after lurking for several weeks and reading all the regular posters, I got up the courage to try my luck on the scooter post. Thanks for all your thumbs up. Great welcome and you all sound like it would be one hell of a keger if we all got together.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   zombieBlanco bang

      Using the codeword keger , Bikerbabee is one step closer to the inner circle.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Bunnee bang

      BB, I am also a lurker and finally got up the courage to post because of your inspirational message! I can only hope that I receive as warm of a welcome. Can I come to the keger?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Mishee bang

      RB, check it out, this chick bunnee does kegels!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   RunBarbara bang

      can you crack walnuts? or open a beer? cause if so i think i may have a place for you….

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Bunnee bang

      No, walnuts are too hard. I had to start with something easier– a pistachio. I can only hope to one day achieve walnut status. Oh, and I’m also brilliant with wine bottles.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   RunBarbara bang

      can you re-cork them?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Bunnee bang

      AND re-seal them with wax!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   RunBarbara bang

      “wax”

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   bellabeastie

    Rock On BB — same as me . Well sorta. Bellabestie… Bikerbabee…..

    Welcome. :) Luuuv from the B-grrrllzzz

    Just wait ’til U meet RB & Mishee.

    Chicks Rule.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 11:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Mishee bang

      bella – We don’t do the “meet & greet” – if newbies come under our radar, let’s hope it’s for a good reason, and not “bad” – cause I think we all know what happens then…

      and no “BIG JOBS” allowed!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Captain Quirk

    Active aggressiveness and passive politeness?

    Jun 13, 2008 at 12:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   paranoiagirl bang

    “Leave your keys on the stairs with a phone contact # should I need for some reason to get a hold of you(r neck to throttle you for not cleaning. Seriously.)”

    Jun 13, 2008 at 4:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Neil

    I am a Criminologist…and his writing style is indicative of a very unstable person….the frontward slants in addition to the the backward slanks in this persons writing is very unsettling…I truly hope the receiver of this note is okay….

    handwriting typically in common writing style ,slants in one direction…the person writing this note slants front and back…I truly hope the recipient is okay!!!

    Jun 13, 2008 at 5:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Dr. How bang

      You’re Steve, aren’t you?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Quite Contrary

      And wtf does a criminologist think of someone who writes with so many damn elipses? Have you ever heard of a period? It’s a handy dandy little tool that ends a complete thought. Very helpful for the reader of said thought.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Mishee bang

      I have only come across one other criminologist in my life…
      This guy

      (and NO it’s not a rickroll!! gawd! Rick Astley is NOT a criminologist!!)

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   secondsout bang

      I came across a criminologist one night. We met at a bar, had some witty banter, went back to her place. She never called me again after that. Maybe because I came across her.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   RunBarbara bang

      that would have gotten you a call back and an invitation to my girls-only “dress up like super heroes and have a tickle marathon” party.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   secondsout bang

      Which reminds me, please put me on the RSVP list as a “yes.”

      Jun 13, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   gradytripp

    Did he write this in blood?

    Use a pen, Sideshow Bob.

    Jun 13, 2008 at 8:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Mishee bang

      I wonder what would be on Andrew’s “To Do” list…. I’m thinking “Kill Bart” isn’t on it!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 8:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   claw71 bang

    Andrew:

    I was going to clean the fridge but I quickly lost interest in the project. I’d apologize but I hate lying.

    As for the dishes, I just threw them out…the window on top of your car. I don’t feel as though leaving the keys on the stairs is appropriate so I’ll be back to deliver them in person. I’m not sure if I’ll be leaving my foot in your ass with the keys but you should know that this is a possibility.

    If you feel the need to contact me via phone you wont need a number. Just pick up the hand set and whack yourself in the face repeatedly until the handset breaks or you black out. This will save me the hassle of doing it myself if I ever hear your whiny, vaguely homosexual voice again.

    One other thing you should know: I banged your mom when she came down homecoming weekend. Yeah, she’s a little chubby and doesn’t do much in the way of grooming but she let me watch Top Chef while I plugged her from behind on your bed.

    Thanks, and go to hell next year.

    —Steve

    Jun 13, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   JoeInLA

      I really ought to call you on the “vaguely homosexual voice” part, claw, but to be honest they annoy the hell out of me.

      [signed] JoeInLA, whose voice is not even remotely homosexual. (However, when it comes to the rest of him….)

      Jun 13, 2008 at 6:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Canthz_B bang

      and that’s why we call it la-la-land, children… :-P

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Bellabeastie

    omg — Crying… That made me snort coffee out of my nose.

    I’m gonna get fired, I swear. LOL

    Jun 13, 2008 at 9:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Quite Contrary

      That makes two of us. It’s a keeper!

      This note is really a multipurpose note. Swap out a couple names and condescending requests with other condescending requests (from say a co worker, boss, neighbor, former friend, former roommate, former husband) and, voila!, instant snarky response. Will give us more time to do important things, like troll PAN.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Quite Contrary

      PS Claw, if I wasn’t so terrified of my imminent death at the hands of Mishee and RB/Casey, I’d express my true feelings for you.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   RunBarbara bang

      QC, we welcome you to hop on the python any time. Through careful mathematics and sore pelvises, we have determined that the occupant capacity for Claw is four bitches. Currently, there are only two.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Mishee bang

      But there is a quite the line… remember to STAY BACK 5 FEET from us… cause we are just cool like that…

      It’s kind of a long line… remember waiting for Santa in the movie A Christmas Story? Or how about bread lines in Russia?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   RunBarbara bang

      in soviet russia, gift horse look you in mouth….to check for KGB listening device.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   Mishee bang

      you just have a thing for horses, huh?

      I heard about those kind of people… in fact SOMEONE here on PAN directed me to a horrible horrible site one time… I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a 100 times! damn you google and your accurate results!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.7   RunBarbara bang

      dont even try to front like you dont love me more because i sent you to pony play porn.
      you liked it a little.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.8   Mishee bang

      I actually think it was GW.. something about a Brazilian Zoo…

      not positive, but it was something you just don’t wanna google!

      thank you very much, I prefer donkey shows.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.9   PixelPerfect

      Just so ya know, I’m in that line! I declared my undying love for claw a while ago, and have been standing in line quietly ever since.

      ps. I love elipses… I use them all the time… It’s an addiction… I can’t help it…

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.10   Mishee bang

      ellipses are proof that God loves us….

      well, the line hasn’t moved cause RB and I aren’t done with him yet…

      I tried to ward her off when she came crashing onto the scene, but she’s a strong personality (and she pulled my hair… which I kind of liked)…

      just keep waiting! it’s like the line for a popular ride at an amusement park (what a metaphor!), as soon as you give up and get out of line, it will start to move!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.11   Quite Contrary

      I’m confused. Am I third in line, 21st in line, or just standing 5++++ feet back to save my own skin?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 8:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.12   Mishee bang

      I would have to say “save your own skin” – RB bites! Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it doesn’t! (Depends on her mood!)

      Jun 13, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.13   RunBarbara bang

      it only hurts when i have my dentures in.

      Jun 14, 2008 at 11:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Dr. How bang

    Seriously, how naïve is Andrew?

    It seems Steve has been composting in his room all year long. He failed to control bacterial populations in his tier of fridge(s), and chooses to pile dishes in the bathroom, instead of bathing in it.

    So our PAN writing hero leaves a note and heads out for the evening. I only hope he doesn’t forget to ask the cleaning fairy to come by and sprinkle magic dust on Steve.

    The only thing he is going to find on the stairs is a steaming-fresh pile.

    And some semen in the dishes.

    Jun 13, 2008 at 10:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   shane

    “After you wash the dishes in the bathroom, don’t forget to run the garbage disposal in the shower. Also, please use oven cleaner on the toilet to get the burnt grease stains off.”

    Jun 13, 2008 at 11:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Kenzie

    I’ll add myself to the list of lurkers who’ve never before posted *dodges rotten vegetables*. I felt the need to speak up when I saw where the submitter was posting this from. I understand his plight. Having once resided in Peterborough for 2 years before transferring to another university to escape the crazy (I can only assume that these people are students, and if that’s the case, they llikely attend the same school I once did – Peterborough’s only so big), I can fully identify with Steve’s need for a good ol’ PAN. It must be something in the water – before you know it, people you once new to be perfectly sane have gone completely round the bend, and traded in their laptops for a vegan diet, hemp pants, misguided activism, and a complete inability to clean up after themselves.

    Jun 13, 2008 at 1:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   bluelanugo bang

    “All this note needs is a little extra zing,” thought Andrew as he pulled a lavender crayon from the box…

    Jun 13, 2008 at 2:08 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Mishee bang

      Now I wish Andrew had actually been named Harold.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 2:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   fink

      Or Stanley.

      Jun 15, 2008 at 11:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Joy

    I had a boyfriend once who, before I started dating him, washed his dishes in the bathtub. He and his roommate would just use all the dishes until there weren’t any left, and then move them into the bathtub, pour Clorox on them, and run the shower.

    I should have known better than to get involved with someone like that.

    Jun 13, 2008 at 4:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Dr. How bang

    Steve,

    Good luck next year!
    = ) Leave your keys on the stairs with a phone contact #. Beware my drunk dials! =)

    Seriously _CLEAN_ the upper back fridge also any dishes downstairs. I’m usually the one to do this so I just wanted to be sure you knew that this is stuff that needs to be done. Thanks!

    I will be back late tonight!

    <3 Andrew

    *PS Make sure you also do the dishes in the back bathroom.

    Jun 13, 2008 at 4:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Canthz_B bang

    Andrew,

    Seriously tell me this is not the note for this whole weekend?! :???:

    –Steve

    Jun 14, 2008 at 3:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Canthz_B bang

    Passive Aggressive Gays Gone Wild, only $19.95!!
    Call now and get Scooter Chicks Loose It and Mongolian BBQ Bloopers at no extra charge!!!

    Jun 14, 2008 at 4:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Bikerbabee

      sign me up!

      Jun 14, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Jsmoke bang

      “See these nubile college co-eds bare all of their insecurities and ignore each other brainless, all yours with no further obligations required or the low, low price of 19.95!”–omnipotent commercial narrator

      Jun 14, 2008 at 7:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Mishee bang

      CB – I hope they are at least wearing their hats at the BBQ. THX SANDRA spent alot of money on those hats…

      Jun 16, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Lurker

    Don;t just clean it; clean it seriously. No writing dirty limericks with Soft Scrub this sime.

    Jun 14, 2008 at 2:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   madlib challenge!

    (name)

    Seriously (verb) the (direction) back (noun) also any (plural noun) downstairs and leave your (noun) in the condition you (verb) it in.

    (Verb) your (noun) on the stairs with a (noun) should I (verb) for (adj) reason to get a hold of you.

    I will be back (adj) (time). Also (verb) the (noun) in the (direction) (room name).

    (common phrase) and (common phrase)

    (Name)

    Jun 14, 2008 at 6:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Bikerbabee

      Canabalize
      lower
      Mongolian Bar-B-Que
      Cleveland steamers
      Banana hammock
      danced
      Get
      nutsack
      hammer
      wish
      another
      at nearly
      dawn
      Use
      the mad bomber
      north bedroom
      Eat shit and die
      thanks for the memories
      Jason

      Jun 15, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   pilgrimchick

    Yes, obviously a prime sign of a nice guy. The rest of us would have ripped the slob’s balls off and claimed it as part of the security deposit.

    Jun 14, 2008 at 10:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   se

      Hey there pilgrim, it wouldn’t occur to most guys to “rip the slob’s balls off”.

      Jun 15, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Blaise

    I’ve never heard of a guy telling another GUY what basically amounts to “Get your ass back in the kitchen”

    Jun 15, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Phat girl

    I’d rather mad lib claws #23 letter more than Andrews. That one might actually get used.

    Jun 16, 2008 at 4:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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