get the hell out (and good luck next year!)

June 12th, 2008 · 116 comments

writes an anonymous submitter in peterborough, ontario: “this past year my roommates and i had a stranger rent the extra room in our house, and he turned out to be a socially oblivious slob we spent the entire year picking up after.” as frustrating as the situation was, his roommate andrew can’t seem to fully distance himself from his inborn canadian niceness, even in this final send-off.

Get the hell out, and good luck next year.

related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten

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FILED UNDER: canada · cleaning · ontario · roommates · thanks (but not really)

116 responses so far ↓

  • #1  Canthz_B

    Doing dishes in the back bathroom?
    That’s a novelty.
    You know things have gotten bad when your kitchen sink privileges are revoked!

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: +3  

    • #1.1  Mishee

      I think I prefer to assume they are actually washing the dishes in the back bathroom, than the alternative which is: clean all of the dishes that are IN the back bathroom.

      Dishes piling up in the bathroom? I hope it’s just alot of rinsing cups….

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:11 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.2  secondsout

      Maybe his method of dishes is to take a bath and bring the dishes with him. It’s like a rubber ducky, but with less personality.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: +18  

       
    • #1.3  RunBarbara

      thats why i only eat stolen hot pockets in the tub. no dishes, the spilled bbq beef gets poked down the drain and then i throw away that g-damn space sleeve that makes the crust so delectable and crispy….

      Jun 13, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #1.4  KittyKat

      I prefer getting my dishes washed in the bedroom, but that’s just me.

      Oh wait, he’s talking about real dishes.

      Never mind.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:37 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.5  RunBarbara

      i prefer having my dishes “soaked”.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.6  Mishee

      I don’t know if RB was talking about real dishes though… she did mention a “hot pocket”

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:41 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.7  RunBarbara

      you can ask s’out about our “hot pockets”. maybe he can lend you the tape we made…

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:43 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.8  Mishee

      only if it’s a documentary

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #1.9  RunBarbara

      “instructional”

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #2  just me

    first! ohhh I had to do it after: (but if you feel the urge to post “first!” — resist.)

    see what PA’s do to one?

    why are there dishes in the bathroom??? Does he make his salad while he showers?

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  

    • #2.1  Sarah

      When the paper products are gone, you have to improvise with whatever you can find. Dishes included.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #2.2  Bunnee

      @Just me–like Kramer?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #3  zombieBlanco

    Perhaps the problem was that in the past Steve had only been cleaning frivolously?

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: +7  

    • #3.1  freedomcows007

      perhaps even glibly?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #4  just me

    damn you Canthz_B ruined my first and first bathroom comment ;-)

    Jun 12, 2008 at 7:58 pm   rating: 0  

    • #4.1  zombieBlanco

      pretty sure you did that on your own :grin:

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:03 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #4.2  Mishee

      A Tip: If you post “First!” and end up NOT being “First!” then odds are you should backedit.

      See what happened to me yesterday when I miscounted my words? Learn from my mistakes!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:16 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #5  Brian

    Odds that the guy did any of those things … nil.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:00 pm   rating: +3  

     
  • #6  Michael

    Gotta be nice to someone who still has a key to your house! Good call by the Canuck.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:05 pm   rating: +5  

     
  • #7  Mishee

    I saw a note like this one time, it started:

    Cinderella…
    We will be out late since we are going to the King’s Ball, this is what we want done….

    WTF?

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:08 pm   rating: +3  

     
  • #8  ErikaBlare

    It appears there is a note written on the back side of this letter. PAN readers demand to know!

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  

    • #8.1  Mishee

      Erika - Good effin luck… I have been waiting for my effin Spanish scooter signs for 2 effin days! Dammit! It’s probably easier to get a tank of frickin’ sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to the top of their frickin’ heads!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #8.2  zombieBlanco

      PAN readers wonder if it is in français?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:31 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #8.3  ErikaBlare

      Mishee, tell me how you really frickin’ feel! ;)

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #8.4  Mishee

      ZB - c’est possible

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.5  Quite Contrary

      Frickin’? I thought it was effin.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 10:51 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #8.6  cre8tivewmn

      I was curious, so I flipped the picture and enhanced it to see what was written on the back. It seems to be notes about a death and planning for a funeral. What I can read says

      ” Funeral documentation -> Funeral notes
      Illness, doctor [something] twelve[?]
      Death [something] obit from newspaper
      Cause[?] certificate [etc.]

      Here’s the enhanced photo
      http://www.flickr.com/photos/23968618@N07/2573922545/

      Sorry to whoever wrote the note.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 11:18 pm   rating: +21  

       
    • #8.7  amazon

      Maybe Andrew is planning Steve’s “untimely” death.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:04 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #8.8  KittyKat

      Damn! You have my undying respect, cre8tivewmn.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #8.9  Ryan

      You beautiful bastard! I love a mystery. This is great.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 5:32 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.10  RunBarbara

      It could have been from someone going to school for mortuary sciences. I work with a guy that is getting his coroner’s license and they test him on things like that.
      Mayyybe?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 6:20 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.11  JoeInLA

      Maybe they were planning to kill him and decided to give him once last chance to leave under his own power before they were forced to beat him to death with the dirty dishes and carry him out feet first?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.12  cre8tivewmn

      You’re welcome. Just doing my part.

      BTW I’ve decided that “twelve” is timeline.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:20 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #9  secondsout

    Clean the upper back fridge? How many fridges do these guys have? It would seem that at least nine are stacked together, like on Hollywood Squares. Don’t worry about cleaning the other eight, just make sure the upper back fridge is cleaned out. That’s the one where the salmon rotted, and it smells like a dead whore.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:27 pm   rating: +10  

    • #9.1  Mishee

      why, may I ask, do you know what a dead whore smells like?

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:42 pm   rating: +9  

       
    • #9.2  secondsout

      Among my favorite limericks:

      There once was a caveman named Dave
      Who kept a dead whore in his cave
      Now fucking dead meat
      Might not be a treat
      But think of the money he saved

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: +19  

       
    • #9.3  Mishee

      soooo…. you still didn’t answer my question…

      unless your name is Dave??

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:53 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #9.4  secondsout

      Mishee, just think of the money one saves!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:11 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #9.5  Mishee

      I can see when someone is skirting the issue… your silence affirms my suspicions, and I will be notifying the proper authorities…

      (meaning RB - via our Dirty Lezzie ESP)

      Jun 12, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #9.6  supposedtobeworking

      Or Casey in Human Resources?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:38 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #9.7  Mishee

      Casey in Human Resources is RB’s evil alter ego.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:48 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #9.8  RunBarbara

      No, my alter ego is Alice Phallus and I perform nightly at-
      Oooo, Mishee, you dirty bitch! You almost tricked me into giving away my secret secrets!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #9.9  Mishee

      I could’ve sworn it was acutally Anastasia Beaverhousen….

      *gets a little bit turned on when RB calls her a ‘dirty bitch’* Will you pull my hair a little? :D

      Jun 13, 2008 at 1:57 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #9.10  Canthz_B

      Maybe Mishee and RB should get a room! :-P

      Jun 14, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #10  ErikaBlare

    PAN writers should learn to not split infinitives.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 8:39 pm   rating: +4  

    • #10.1  summer

      Bless you!

      Jun 12, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #11  se

    Steve should leave the key in the oldest foulest thing in the refrigerator.
    maybe the year old mac and cheese.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 9:25 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #12  John in IL

    I love how Andrew is so grossed out by Steve, his upper back fridge and his bathroom dishes that he took the time to draw that purple force field around Steve’s name. You wouldn’t want any of that nasty Steve to get on your PAN.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 9:45 pm   rating: +26  

     
  • #13  TuesdayPillow

    Bathroom dishes? That’s a GREAT idea!

    Jun 12, 2008 at 10:12 pm   rating: 0  

    • #13.1  RALPHY

      I agree, you could put them next to the decorative towels. That might even complete the place setting.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #13.2  fink

      They’ll really tie the room together.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 2:32 am   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #14  cre8tivewmn

    I’m so confused. What was this supposed to say?

    “Seriously, dude, clean the fridge….” or “No f*ing around this time, really clean the fridge…”

    Now, about the upper back fridge (and assuming they don’t have 9 of them). Do they divide the fridge into quadrants, or is he talking about cleaning the outside in an area previously missed?

    The rest is no better. Can he just get the dishes from the bathroom and wash them in the kitchen sink? Why would you leave keys on the stairs?

    The note finishes with a classic good wish, to negate all the micromanaging that has gone on before, or perhaps just to say something that made sense after all the confusing verbiage.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: +5  

    • #14.1  ErikaBlare

      I agree. A little punctuation goes a long way.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 10:55 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #15  Quite Contrary

    STEVE. SERIOUSLY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN “BETTER” IF YOU HADN’T HAD THE MONGOLIAN BBQ POTLUCK, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE BACK BATHROOM IS NOW SEVERELY “BACKLOGGED” FROM ALL THE GIRLS “THROWING UP.” UNFORTUNATELY, CASEY IN HUMAN RESOURCES IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, SO SHE CAN’T HELP. YOU REALLY NEED TO CLEAN IT ALL UP AND GET THE “F” OUT OF HERE. THX, SANDRA.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: +19  

    • #15.1  Cowgirlgraphics

      That Mongolian BBQ in the back of the fridge was fucking delicious.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #16  bellabeastie

    To: Seriously Steve -

    I’m not effin around this time. The nasty dishes left in - well, wherever you left them - 2 places - am I am counting. Clean up your shit, and leave a number, because I am sick of you and will hunt you down. Be sure you leave your room nicey-nice.

    Oh, and the keys go on the stairs. Thank you.

    From: Good Luck Next Year Andrew

    Jun 12, 2008 at 11:16 pm   rating: +5  

     
  • #17  Bikerbabee

    Katelyn obviously told them about the other roomate Sam and how she freaks out when the kitchen sink is not clean. This is why all the boys do the dishes in the bathroom.
    –This has nothing to do with the post but after lurking for several weeks and reading all the regular posters, I got up the courage to try my luck on the scooter post. Thanks for all your thumbs up. Great welcome and you all sound like it would be one hell of a keger if we all got together.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 11:27 pm   rating: +3  

    • #17.1  zombieBlanco

      Using the codeword keger , Bikerbabee is one step closer to the inner circle.

      Jun 12, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #17.2  Bunnee

      BB, I am also a lurker and finally got up the courage to post because of your inspirational message! I can only hope that I receive as warm of a welcome. Can I come to the keger?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:39 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #17.3  Mishee

      RB, check it out, this chick bunnee does kegels!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:43 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #17.4  RunBarbara

      can you crack walnuts? or open a beer? cause if so i think i may have a place for you….

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #17.5  Bunnee

      No, walnuts are too hard. I had to start with something easier– a pistachio. I can only hope to one day achieve walnut status. Oh, and I’m also brilliant with wine bottles.

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #17.6  RunBarbara

      can you re-cork them?

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:28 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #17.7  Bunnee

      AND re-seal them with wax!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:30 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #17.8  RunBarbara

      “wax”

      Jun 13, 2008 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #18  bellabeastie

    Rock On BB — same as me . Well sorta. Bellabestie… Bikerbabee…..

    Welcome. :) Luuuv from the B-grrrllzzz

    Just wait ’til U meet RB & Mishee.

    Chicks Rule.

    Jun 12, 2008 at 11:49 pm   rating: 0  

    • #18.1  Mishee

      bella - We don’t do the “meet & greet” - if newbies come under our radar, let’s hope it’s for a good reason, and not “bad” - cause I think we all know what happens then…

      and no “BIG JOBS” allowed!

      Jun 13, 2008 at 11:45 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #19  Captain Quirk

    Active aggressiveness and passive politeness?

    Jun 13, 2008 at 12:22 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #20  paranoiagirl

    “Leave your keys on the stairs with a phone contact # should I need for some reason to get a hold of you(r neck to throttle you for not cleaning. Seriously.)”

    Jun 13, 2008 at 4:23 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #21  Neil

    I am a Criminologist…and his writing style is indicative of a very unstable person….the frontward slants in addition to the the backward slanks in this persons writing is very unsettling…I truly hope the receiver of this note is okay….

    handwriting typically in common writing style ,slants in one direction…the person writing this note slants front and back…I truly hope the recipient is okay!!!

    Jun 13, 2008 at 5:01 am   rating: +2