spotted by weston in the backroom of a dallas starbucks: the coffee chain’s recipe for the “keep-our-employees-locked-in-petty-arguments-so-they-won’t-unionize-accino”!
(add one pump “disgruntled english lit ph.d.s” + one pump “functional illiterates”; shake well.)
related: an extra bold request
extra credit: starbucks gossip
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!








159 responses so far ↓
#1 Mark

Ugh, that wall color is horru/ible. Looks like a hospital. Or maybe a kitchen in 1960.
Somebody set up us the bomb. It was probably D man. Or maybe the heisa monster.
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:00 pm rating: 0 
#2 zchamu
Hmm. Everyone jumped on “are they won’t take them” but nobody seemed to notice the “unless they are ‘rung’ out 1st.” Rungs are on ladders. Towels are wrung. Snark FAIL.
Bonus points for getting the sexual harassment policy in the pic, though.
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:03 pm rating: +12 
#3 secondsout

What they didn’t mention is that they’re putting these wet towels in the coffee machines. So when your coffee tastes a bit like a sweat sock, you know why.
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:08 pm rating: +1 
#4 secondsout

D Man - he’s always holding D people down.
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: +18 
#5 Canthz_B

Are they losing their HS and college rings in the towel bin?
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:10 pm rating: +1 
#6 orangetiki
Who is this Towel Man? Is he a super hero?
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:11 pm rating: +2 
#7 Quite Contrary
They’re just pissy because they had to clean the bathrooms which were all messed up from the massive drug use. God knows what is on those towels.
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:13 pm rating: +1 
#8 morpho aurora

“are they want take them”
that’s just pitiful
who’s D-man?
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:14 pm rating: 0 
#9 Quite Contrary
I know what D Man told me too. He thinks these people are effin crazy.
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: +1 
#10 secondsout

I just want to read the poster about sexual harassment. Is it a tutorial poster? I want to make sure I’m doing it right.
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: +13 
#11 marissa
A+ for the title PAN
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:22 pm rating: +7 
#12 secondsout

“How about U dont make sense”
How about you learn the magic of complete words, apostrophes, and a question mark?
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:28 pm rating: +7 
#13 zombieBlanco

reason # 2 -to avoid Starbucks: disgruntled, lazy, illiterate employees
reason # 1 -shitty coffee
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:29 pm rating: +8 
#14 fantasy

Is that how the male of the species writes a P/A Note? All arrows and clouds?
Not one smiley or heart. ♥
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:29 pm rating: +4 
#15 secondsout

So what does it say that the foreign guy with the limited grasp of English is somehow higher up the managerial ladder than all the people correcting his grammar?
Jun 17, 2008 at 7:31 pm rating: +8