spotted in a high foot traffic area of sausalito, california…
god bless the bay area.
related: gentrification is insanit(ar)y
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FILED UNDER: bay area · california · confusion??? · irregular capitalization · neighbors · san francisco · sausalito
— Kris
"customer service" "helpful" advice a little patronizing actions speak louder actually totally reasonable all-staff e-mail anthropomorphism art austin australia bathroom birthday blitzkrieg approach boston brooklyn bullet points california canada CAPS LOCK cleaning clip art catastrophe confusion??? crazypants d.c. die bitch die dishes dogs e-mail ellipses-crazed ex drama excessive underlining exclamation-point happy! facebook family florida food frenemies fridge garbage gloriously redundant group bitchfest guilt trip heart highlighter holiday spirit hygiene illinois irregular capitalization jersey jesus kids kitchen landlord laundry london los angeles martyr complex massachusetts mean girls meta michigan microwave moms & dads money more aggressive than passive music neighbors new york noise north carolina not-so-veiled threats now that's management odor office office fridge oh no you didn't oh snap old folks ontario opening/closing p.s. parking piss pleasantries as afterthought questionable logic raging against the machine rebuttals restaurant retail hell rhetorical question roommates saga san diego san francisco sarcasm say wha? seattle sex sex sex shit signed with love smiley smoking spelling and grammar police stealing temperature texas thanks (but not really) that shit is disgusting toilet toronto touching u.k. university unnecessary "quotation marks" virginia visual aids water whiteboard wtf? you call that punctuation?
170 responses so far ↓
#1
dirty_snowflake
Very brave to identify your house and leave a phone number. That’s the most aggressively passive aggressive note I’ve seen.
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:08 am rating: +4
#2
zombieBlanco
Calling someone a mad ass-backwards neanderthal is a good opening gambit for neighborhood reconciliation, especially after the light brown apple moth debacle.
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: +46
#3
RunBarbara
Areyou kidding?
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:22 am rating: +3
#4
zombieBlanco
after you try orange oil, pepppermint, and bay leaves, perhaps we could all join hands and make a chanting circle around the house asking the termites to find a more harmonious place to shelter…..what do you think of THAT?
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:30 am rating: +69
#5
RunBarbara
I called 1-800-Orange Oil and a Korean house wife told me she was going to spank me with a wooden spoon. It had nothing to do with pest removal, damn it! The worst $1.99 a minute I ever spent…
.
.
except on Mishee’s mom.
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:31 am rating: +29
#6
Matthew Gallant
I like the “no, no, nooooooo” part, it sounds like an Amy Winehouse song.
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:35 am rating: +29
#7
Canthz_B
I’ve heard that termites cannot stand Gregorian chants.. Dooooooo try that before insecticide!
–Mrs. Howell of Gilligan’s little green isle.
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:45 am rating: +25
#8
secondsout
Hmm, I could use pesticides to get rid of the house. Or I could have a session where I feel with the insects, talk to them about their feelings, and have commune with nature. I can use my healing energy to cleanse the house.
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:52 am rating: +8
#9
Canthz_B
My little white house is yellow because I refuse to use non-organic paints.
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:01 am rating: +5
#10
Canthz_B
Never a good thing to ask someone to not tent their house while you’re wearing a moo-moo!
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:08 am rating: +5
#11
zombieBlanco
areyou mad
dark ages tenting
real that
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:08 am rating: 0
#12
Canthz_B
Atticus!, Atticus! Bugs are eating my bed!!
Don’t step on them, Scout. They must be given a fair chance to leave here or a trial or something!
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:16 am rating: +14
#13
Canthz_B
I am sooooooo not eating anything offered at Trixie Wilson’s table during the block party this year!
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:24 am rating: +5
#14
amazon
So is the insecticide they use in tenting is not a REAL product?
Trixie, being as termites tend to infest every nook and cranny of a house, feel free to come over and crawl in my attic (not a euphamism) with your orange oil, peppermint, and bay leaves.
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:25 am rating: +8
#15
Canthz_B
…So this shaman and an exterminator walk into a bar.
The exterminator says: “I’ve got some chemicals that’ll kill any bugs!”
The shaman says: “Poison? Really? I burn bay leaves. Gets rid of the bugs, but you still feel them crawling on you when the buzz wears off!”
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:35 am rating: +10
#16
Canthz_B
Pleeeeeeze reconsider and call 1-800-Pied-Piper.
Jun 20, 2008 at 2:11 am rating: +10
#17
philos
Apparently, yet another alternative is to use lizards.
http://centurytermitecontrol.net/Newsletter.aspx
Jun 20, 2008 at 3:39 am rating: 0
#18
amy d
My house isn’t tented. I’m just happy to see you.
Jun 20, 2008 at 6:56 am rating: +48
#19
Mishee
Trixie just needs to keep Speed up to date on what’s ahead and shut her fucking hippie mouth.
Jun 20, 2008 at 7:35 am rating: +3
#20
fantasy
Does she not know how to sign a note like this?
She should always sign it with the kiss of death.
Than☠ Tri☠ie Wilson ♥ ☠
Jun 20, 2008 at 8:37 am rating: +6
#21
Quite Contrary
It’s notes like this that make me want to vote Republican.
Jun 20, 2008 at 9:11 am rating: +12
#22
claw71
The purpose of the tent is to not poisoning the entire god-damn neighborhood but would we really expect somebody with a name like Trixie to understand that?
Jun 20, 2008 at 9:13 am rating: +19
#23
claw71
And seriously, termites eat wood. Do you really think orange oil, bay leaves or peppermint is going to stop them?
Jun 20, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: +6
#24
xindi
i too live in a little yellow house. sans termites.
Jun 20, 2008 at 9:16 am rating: +2
#25
claw71
Meanwhile, Trixie’s been treating a nasty case of crabs with minced ginger paste and soy sauce.
Jun 20, 2008 at 9:51 am rating: +12
#26
ALA
Linda tried to make the termites go, but Trixie said ‘no, no, no’
Termites need to snack, and when they come back the floor will go go go
Linda wants to spend the dime, but Trixie thinks peppermint’s fine
Linda tried to make the termites go, but Trixie said ‘no,no, no’
Jun 20, 2008 at 10:10 am rating: +21
#27
claw71
I remember the light brown apple moth debacle. It was horrible. These petulant boys known as The Tube Sock Seven got together and decided to get even with all the popular kids at Sausalito High School by hiding apples throughout the school. The idea was to attract fruit flies, ants and other pesky insects.
The weather was too cool for fruit flies and the school treated for ants. As the apples decayed they attracted the light brown moths best known for impregnating apples with those infamous green worms.
Before long, the whole school was infested with moths and nobody really knew what to do. One of the Tube Sock Seven sent a bogus bulletin to the school office warning that al Qaida had attempted to infest the area with an anthrax carrying moth known as the Bin Laden butterfly. The phony memo described the moth infesting the school and advised anybody seeing the moth to notify the Department of Homeland Security.
They called DHS and a local detachment of counter terrorism agents were dispatched. In Sausalito that means a handful of part time deputies who were trained with the little bit of federal money that was left over after local big wigs purloined the bulk of the funds.
As the school was evacuated the moths, drawn to the spot lights, began flying out with them. There was fear that the dreaded Bin Laden Butterfly might infest other areas so the DHS agents opened fire on the moths. The fire fight went on for most of the evening.
When the smoke cleared, ten students had been shot and killed. Only four moths were hit. For the next 12 weeks the Department of Homeland Security managed a seek and destroy mission looking for the escaped moths until a etymologist from UC Berkley realized that a lot of people thought he was an entomologist without realizing what either word meant. He saw a picture of the moths in a magazine and realized they were common apple moths but nobody listened to him because he was from Berkley.
Eventually the Department of Homeland Security lost interest in the project. They were going to hold a press conference but they hate lying so they declared a magenta level threat and sent their agents to Aruba.
Jun 20, 2008 at 10:14 am rating: +62
#28
unholyghost2003
GAH! too much …. Trixie you of course realize that peppermint oil or orange oil in the quantities needed to treat an entire house for termites will have the entire neighborhood smelling like a candy cane or OJ, and can cause severe burns to people, pets and grass. …*TWITCH* … I’m going to put plastic in your compost bin. … BRAIN MELTING! … It was the patchouli stink from your house that attracted the termites in the first place.
Jun 20, 2008 at 10:27 am rating: +7
#29
Mark
Those termites were fucking delicious.
- Aunt Eater
Jun 20, 2008 at 10:36 am rating: +25
#30
Mishee
Personally, I am wondering why there is a “Jack London” house in Sausalito…
Jun 20, 2008 at 10:42 am rating: +3
#31
Joyful
Do you think the neighbors wrote a letter like this when they covered E.T.’s house in plastic?
Jun 20, 2008 at 11:52 am rating: +8
#32
Gowler
The apple moths with bay leaves and peppermint were fuckin’ delicious!
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:20 pm rating: +1
#33
secondsout
Insecticide tenting – it’s like the Dutch Oven of the termite world.
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:44 pm rating: +3
#34
agong
Maaaybe the reference to the DARK AGES was a way of suggesting “turn the lights off and pretend you arent home”. Those damn termites will take their party to someone elses house!
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THINK ABOUT IT!
Jun 20, 2008 at 12:58 pm rating: 0
#35
Martin Heidegger
I’m sorry that the late Jack London has anything to do, even in passing, with this note. He is far above this.
Thanks, Trixie, for showing us how much you love literature. In the beginning, I thought she was going for a Winehouse-esque “No, no, no!” which, to be truthful, would have fit the overall demeanor of her note quite well. Ass-backwards indeed.
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:09 pm rating: +1
#36
paisley
typical marin county mentality… i ought to know… i live there…..
Jun 20, 2008 at 1:38 pm rating: +3
#37
Tyler
Dirty termite mouth? Clean it up new orange oil or bay leave Orbitz. Fabulous! For a good clean feeling, no matter what.
Jun 20, 2008 at 2:12 pm rating: +8
#38
Canthz_B
“Poppies, the poppies will make them sleep!”
Jun 20, 2008 at 3:11 pm rating: +5
#39
Moonsilver
Team RANDOM capitalization.
Jun 20, 2008 at 3:39 pm rating: +2
#40
TuesdayPillow
Well if tenting and orange oil doesn’t work, I’ll bet Casey in Human Resources can get rid of them.
Jun 20, 2008 at 3:40 pm rating: +5
#41
Canthz_B
Be reasonable, Trixie.
Do you really expect someone with an “ass-backwards Neanderthal” thinking process to be considerate after name calling?
Any good Cro-Magnon knows that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Jun 20, 2008 at 7:17 pm rating: +1
#42
Cricket
Dear Trixie of the little yellow house,
you’re a BITCH. mind your own fucking business.
love,
Linda of the Jack London House
Jun 20, 2008 at 8:17 pm rating: +3
#43
Cricket
Dear Trixie,
just because I LIVE in the Jack London house doesn’t mean I speak dog, stupid.
stop with the howling already.
love,
Linda
Jun 20, 2008 at 8:19 pm rating: +2
#44
summer
I love California, though i’ve never been, this note would never be posted in NY City, they charge the roaches rent, and we obliterate the termites in the suburbs of the Island with pesticides without a second thought. I like the other options C A offers…
Jun 20, 2008 at 11:47 pm rating: +2
#45
Jsmoke
To the best of my knowledge they didn’t tent their homes against termites in the Dark Ages. Or in the late Pleistocene for that matter. No Trixie, I think Linda is being very modern trying to rid her house of vermin. If I were her I would bring a few of your termite buddies over to the little yellow house and you could test your Bay leaf theory for yourself.
Jun 20, 2008 at 11:49 pm rating: +3
#46
damon
Master Yoda retired to California?
Jun 21, 2008 at 7:11 am rating: +1
#47
César
This is the quitessential PAN. They should have a favorite button here like they do on flickr.
Jun 21, 2008 at 8:48 am rating: +1
#48
aaa
See? This is what happens when you don’t pass bills requiring all eco-hippies to be microchipped and cataloged in a national database. :/
P.S. Being natural doesn’t make something effective or safe. Psychology Today talked about that in an article they did on our perception of risk.
10 Ways We Get the Odds Wrong
“IX. We Love Sunlight But Fear Nuclear Power
Why “natural” risks are easier to accept.
The word radiation stirs thoughts of nuclear power, X-rays, and danger, so we shudder at the thought of erecting nuclear power plants in our neighborhoods. But every day we’re bathed in radiation that has killed many more people than nuclear reactors: sunlight. It’s hard for us to grasp the danger because sunlight feels so familiar and natural.
Our built-in bias for the natural led a California town to choose a toxic poison made from chrysanthemums over a milder artificial chemical to fight mosquitoes: People felt more comfortable with a plant-based product. We see what’s “natural” as safe—and regard the new and “unnatural” as frightening.
Any sort of novelty—including new and unpronounceable chemicals—evokes a low-level stress response, says Bruce Perry, a child psychiatrist at Child Trauma Academy. When a case report suggested that lavender and tea-tree oil products caused abnormal breast development in boys, the media shrugged and activists were silent. If these had been artificial chemicals, there likely would have been calls for a ban, but because they are natural plant products, no outrage resulted. “Nature has a good reputation,” says Slovic. “We think of natural as benign and safe. But malaria’s natural and so are deadly mushrooms.” ”
Although, unfortunately, Malevolent Eco-Hippie has something of a point. Check out IV on page 2. :/
Jun 21, 2008 at 9:57 am rating: +13
#49
Burghardt
In a gesture of neighborliness, Linda invited Trixie over for a discussion. Trixe entered the house and was lured deeper by plates of bay leaves and peppermint. The door slammed shut behind her, the tent zipped up and the fumigation began. Tragically, Trixie survived the ordeal.
Jun 21, 2008 at 1:12 pm rating: +4
#50
Canthz_B
Linda: What do I think of that? I think that when you start to pay my mortgage you can decide what I do about the termites!
Jun 22, 2008 at 3:33 pm rating: +3
#51
KoT
Fuck you, Trixie Wilson! My house is getting bombed!
Jun 22, 2008 at 3:34 pm rating: +1
#52
TC
I say they take Trixie, shove her mouth full of orange rinds, peppermint, and bay leaves- and barbeque her, like they do at those lovely hawaiian luaus. Then sign her up as a dish for the potluck. Sandra would appreciate the gesture.
Jun 22, 2008 at 9:10 pm rating: +1
#53
GhostWriter
4 days and still no “Speed Racer” comments?
I feel old.
“LookOutSpeed-They’rePlanningToTentTheHouseForTermitesWhatDoYouThinkOfTHAT??”
Jun 23, 2008 at 10:05 am rating: 0
#54
Al
I mis-read the note the first (few) times, and I though the number was 1 800 agent-orange, and I was going to be impressed with Trixie’s sarcasm. But then I realised that’s not what it said.
- The End
Jun 24, 2008 at 4:35 pm rating: 0
#55 massive canine infestation | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] canine infestation: sharing the stage with the light brown apple moth debacle at a warped tour show near [...]
Aug 5, 2008 at 6:03 pm rating: 0
#56
APFDF
Lots of women here trying to be funny but failing dismally. It took me a while to work it out, but most of you are women. Women just aren’t funny.
The only genuine humour here is coming from the males.
Aug 5, 2008 at 10:12 pm rating: 0
#57
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Aug 12, 2008 at 7:47 pm rating: 0
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