after messing up his back, clay in knoxville figured he’d give a chiropractor a shot, but when the doc he saw refused to show him the x-rays he’d taken until after a “seminar” about payment plans — oh, and treatment options — clay decided to take his aching back else where. a few days later, he got this caring follow-up letter in the mail.
UPDATE: too good to be true, you say? clay clarifies: “the reason I didn’t block out the “woodacre” is that it was wrong – it was wrong on my charts and i pointed it out to the receptionist. one page even had a “verified by” signature on it and ALL my information was wrong. i have no idea how they got the address right on the envelope and wrong on the letterhead (the same as on the paperwork i pointed out to them), but they did.”
related: happy to be of service
236 responses so far ↓
#1
catherine
wow, this is like a drawn out “i’m sorry that you suck”. what a gem!
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:00 am rating: +14
#2
Mark
I totally sympathize with this! I went to a “health screening” (i.e. some dude looked at me as I stood in front of him) at a chiropractor booth at a beer festival recently, the dude found (surprise) that my spine is misaligned, and the chiropractor has called me at least three times a day since then. I recognize the phone number after the first couple calls trying to sucker me into an appointment, and now I ignore it. I must not take my health seriously enough.
Sincerely,
Mark
B.S.Ch.E., M.S.E., P.E.
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:03 am rating: +26
#3
The Great Joe Bivins
If you wish to avoid dying, please give me a call and I’m sure I’ll drop whatever I’m doing and see you immediately! That is if you would like to not die.
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:06 am rating: +28
#4
zombieBlanco
That loopy-ass signature is scary even tho’ it’s partially blacked-out. Sends shivers up my spine just imagining being manipulated by this freak.
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:09 am rating: +5
#5
PANU
After they got all his money, I’m sure they wouldn’t take his health seriously either.
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:13 am rating: +12
#6
Conlan
U.S. Mail, professional letterhead… Maybe he really is sorry. This one’s a hall-of-famer.
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:17 am rating: +6
#7
leigh
What a crock!
I’m sending this to my chiropractor because I know that he’ll get a kick out of it.
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:18 am rating: +8
#8
Sarah
His signature looks like a freaking EKG.
Jun 26, 2008 at 1:45 am rating: +5
#9
secondsout
I already don’t take chiropractors seriously. This note is just another reason why.
A friend of mine had a father who was a chiropractor. He was claiming that if you are marked as an organ donor, then the people in the ER will just let you die so that they can harvest your organs. He claimed to know because his dad was a doctor. Oh, a doctor? Funny, I could have sworn that chiropractors don’t have much access to emergency rooms.
Jun 26, 2008 at 2:08 am rating: +14
#10
Canthz_B
Please be advised that attending our almost-free “payment seminar” is essential to your good health.
Jun 26, 2008 at 2:37 am rating: +17
#11
Pants
I had a chiropractor yell to his receptionist (in front of a full waiting room) to cancel my remaining appointments because I couldn’t take his pain anymore. Those freaking adjustments were HELL.
Jun 26, 2008 at 3:12 am rating: +1
#12
Tyler
My Dad visited a chiropractor once and felt better after his first appointment. He didn’t feel better at the end of it when the “Doctor” came out with a schedule to come and see him weekly for the next several months.
Jun 26, 2008 at 3:36 am rating: +1
#13
Burghardt
Q: How many chiropractors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it will require 3 sessions a week for six weeks.
Jun 26, 2008 at 3:40 am rating: +20
#14
cricket
the chiro forgot to list his Ph.D in P-A.
Jun 26, 2008 at 6:15 am rating: +2
#15
Rev Matt
This is standard practice for chiros. News flash: if they have to engage in emotional manipulation and hard sells it’s probably because they can’t get repeat business.
Jun 26, 2008 at 6:51 am rating: +6
#16
Troy McClure
I really thought the way you talked was neat
The other day with the office staff who work for me
But you’re staying out of reach
I guess you’d rather go to the beach
And I’m scared that we won’t meet—I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
You’re the only one who can decide you’re gonna take
Your health seriously, and get rid of that back-ache
It would really make my day
If you’d visit lots (and pay)
Please know we are available to help you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
But you’re always out of reach
I guess you’d rather go to the beach
And I’m scared that we won’t meet
I’ve got bills to pay, can’t you see
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
I want to touch you
Touch you, touch you, touch you, touch you, touch you
(Here’s the original)
Jun 26, 2008 at 7:24 am rating: +13
#17
Canthz_B
Can you imagine having someone who is about the manipulate your spine asking you if your payments are up to date?
The correct answer is a loud “Yes!”
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:14 am rating: +1
#18
RALPHY
I think I’d perfer to remain spinless, rather than submit to a siminar on “Payment plans and treatment options”. It’s not like I really need my spine if this quack makes a booboo.
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:51 am rating: 0
#19
Canthz_B
Thanks to the “Obesity Epidemic” in the US, some chiropractors are making “phat money”!
Jun 26, 2008 at 8:57 am rating: 0
#20
xindi
I’ll be baaaaack! And I am baaaack!
Jun 26, 2008 at 9:08 am rating: 0
#21
theblackdog
That health was fucking delicious.
*ducks*
Jun 26, 2008 at 9:12 am rating: +5
#22
xindi
This is Spinal Tap. The rudeness goes to eleven.
Jun 26, 2008 at 9:17 am rating: +19
#23
einekleinetiger
Classic. This is what passive aggressive notes are made of. All that’s missing is a little smiley face at the end.
Jun 26, 2008 at 9:20 am rating: +2
#24
zchamu
Dear Doctor,
I am sorry that I don’t take you, your extortionist tactics, your passive-aggressive notes or your bad breath seriously.
If there had previously been any doubts about the fact that I will never walk through your doors again, please consider those doubts addressed. You are dead to me.
Love,
Clay
XOXO
p.s. Advil fixed me up without any of your quackery! Who knew!
Jun 26, 2008 at 9:28 am rating: +23
#25
GhostWriter
I smell a backstory…
Clay is an aspiring YouTuber who fancies himself a younger, hipper Steven Colbert. He scheduled an appointment with a local chiropractor, and showed up along with a hooker in a Nazi Stormtrooper outfit, who would routinely smack his back with a wiffle ball bat during the interview. He told the doc it was the only way to relieve his pain.
Unfortunately, the minicam hidden in the Stormtrooper’s hat ran out of juice, and the chiropractor kicked them both out. Now, Clay’s picking up whatever fame he can, passing off the chiropractor’s reply as an insult to his health priorities.
But we saw right through that…
Jun 26, 2008 at 9:33 am rating: +7
#26
claw71
Chiropractors are terrible. In Ohio they troll the BWC files, since they are public record, and they solicit patients. Chiropractic care is covered by the BWC and in some instances it does help but these leeches always want to establish a care plan that involves regular visits.
More than a few pad their incomes with suspicious drug sales and it’s not uncommon to see chiropractors getting arrested for any number of schemes that could be directly, indirectly or not even remotely associated with their line of work.
It’s too bad because there are some back crackers out there who understand their niche. I’ve been to one here in Columbus who doesn’t even do a full adjustment if you don’t need it. You tell him where it hurts, he pops the offending vertebrae back into place and that will be $20.
Jun 26, 2008 at 9:34 am rating: 0