5. being a stupid, retarded jerk.
4. what, can’t you read?
3. seriously, are you fucking illiterate?
2. do we look like the kind of store that sells “i just called to say i love you”?
and last but not least…
1. the internet (probably)
extra credit: thanks, mr. hipster
177 responses so far ↓
#1
Quite Contrary
I love bitter people. They write the best PA notes EVER.
Jun 26, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: +4
#2
southern girl
omg, lol, the sad part is…back in the day when I bought cds instead of making my own, I have put them way in the back, behind others, hiding them until I came back to purchase them, and never returned!
Jun 26, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: +14
#3
jess
greed never pays…
Jun 26, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: 0
#4
Troy McClure
But nothing beats alphabetical order!!!
Jun 26, 2008 at 11:32 pm rating: +2
#5
Bikerbabee
They closed because all the customers got tired of doing the employees’ work for them.
-Team do your job and shut the f*ck up.
Jun 26, 2008 at 11:41 pm rating: +27
#6
Ambie
“Scuz us a sec” certainly shows great knowledge and use of the alfabet … alfebet .. alphi..
Dammit.
Jun 26, 2008 at 11:57 pm rating: +42
#7
fantasy
♫ ♪ The Day, The Music died……… ♪ ♫
Jun 26, 2008 at 11:59 pm rating: +16
#8
itmustbeken
THIS is why people illegally download music.
Jun 27, 2008 at 12:28 am rating: +19
#9
Crash
I think the person who wrote note #3 has a “would” fettish.
Jun 27, 2008 at 12:31 am rating: +1
#10
YouRCunt
Fuck the store with the two question limit. I would’ve gone in there and asked him what shoe he likes. Then I’d ask him how far up his ass he would like it.
Jun 27, 2008 at 12:32 am rating: +23
#11
Sarah
Dear passive-aggressive record store owners: People like me frequent your businesses because we want you to stay afloat. Maybe if you stopped being asspandas, you would have more customers.
Jun 27, 2008 at 12:37 am rating: +50
#12
Crash
Note #5
So I could be a spitefull asshole and it’s all good then, right ?
As long as I’m not a stoopid jerk, or physically, or mentally incapable ?
Jun 27, 2008 at 12:44 am rating: +1
#13
zombieBlanco
Poor employees! It’s tough to tell what came first, the music or the misery.
Jun 27, 2008 at 12:50 am rating: +1
#14
Ashley
#3 – now in the case of an ACTUAL emergency, somebody might be stopping to read that sign to look for, oh, I don’t know, an emergency route out of the store/mall/where ever and now they are burning to death because they stopped to read about getting accusing of shoplifting. At least they have a nice music collection for someone to inherit, I mean, c’mon, this stuffs only a buck!!
Jun 27, 2008 at 12:52 am rating: +3
#15
fantasy
I was so confused,and could not find anyone to accompany me since I was not trained properly……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPxY8lpYAUM
*oh, fuck this job….*
Jun 27, 2008 at 1:03 am rating: +1
#16
Captin Shmit
Well this is a new record! I’ve already had my photo posted here after just a few hours of being a fan! (But what happened to linking to the flickr page? – http://www.flickr.com/photos/captinshmit/886992206/)
Jun 27, 2008 at 1:06 am rating: 0
#17
secondsout
Er, excuse me. No banging your head on the display case please, it contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you.
Jun 27, 2008 at 3:23 am rating: +9
#18
secondsout
Kudos to the PANGoddess for the High Fidelity quote on #2.
Jun 27, 2008 at 3:33 am rating: +2
#19
hayley
#5 – Oh, Fopp! I miss Fopp and their cheap cheap prices.
Jun 27, 2008 at 3:40 am rating: 0
#20
gc3160 - that homo that u know
I used to work in home electronics and we all were responsible for a different section of the CDs, keeping it organized and in alphabetical order, with our department manger going so far as to place stickers with our names on them in hidden areas so she would know who to narc on to upper management if the section was not up to par. There was this one chick though who was a fanatic about the whole CD area and would spend hours O.C.D.ily alphabetizing and organizing the music instead of doing important ish like helping customers. It wasn’t until after one of our managers forced her to quit for being a worthless piece of space whom lacked motivation to actually do most of her job, that I realized how farking much I hated organizing and fixing the music section. To make it worse, I am in the South & surrounded by xenophobic, racist rednecks & because I was the only one that listened to Reggaeton & had half a clue about Hispanic music, my assigned section was the Spanish language music, which was so horribly f_cked from normal customer laziness and the inability of my co-workers to put Spanish music in proper alphabetic order. One time a co-worker & I were putting up new music stock & she commented that there sure were a lot of music CDs to go into the L section. I was like how so and she said well tons of the band names start with Los. I very nicely informed her that Los in Espanol is the English version of The and therefore she shouldn’t alphabetize by that word. Also I hated the fact that my co-workers would refer to the Hispanic section when making their racist/xenophobic comments as the Mexican music section. I was like wtf, not everyone who speaks Spanish is Mexican. Fun times then. Ha!
Jun 27, 2008 at 5:13 am rating: +2
#21
babybat
The last one is a picture of dear, departed FOPP, here in London. It was a great record store, and then the chain literally went bankrupt overnight, leaving most of the staff out 4+ weeks wages. Can’t say I really blame the staff for leaving PA notes given the circumstances – I’d be walking out with anything that wasn’t chained down to try and recoup my losses!
Jun 27, 2008 at 5:28 am rating: +2
#22
Nightwalker
Can anyone tell me what they mean by saying “you’ll be 86′d”? (Item 3)
Jun 27, 2008 at 6:20 am rating: 0
#23
Scaryduck
“Do I only get two questions?”
“Yes”
“Really?”
“Yes”
“Why’s that then?”
“Please leave”
Jun 27, 2008 at 6:43 am rating: +23
#24
Kev Orng
“Rap… metal… rap… metal… And Whitney Houston.”
“It’s for my girlfriend, okay?”
Jun 27, 2008 at 8:13 am rating: +6
#25
blaux
…oh, lots of classic passive-aggressive alphabet complaints… and then kind of a new one thrown in at the end.
How ’bout some clip art
how ’bout ‘I PRAY NO ONE TAKES UNPURCHASED RECORDS INTO THE BATHROOM AND THEN “PUTS THEM BACK” WHERE THEY DON’T BELONG!!!!!’
Jun 27, 2008 at 8:50 am rating: +2
#26
xindi
i am physically and mentally incapable of reading that sign… helP?
Jun 27, 2008 at 9:02 am rating: +1
#27
claw71
• But I am putting them in alphabetical order.
See, I put Dido under “e” for Eurotrash. I put Ani Difranco under “b” for Bjork wannabe. Bon Jovi belongs in “m” for midget along with Jordin Sparks who is there for morbid obesity. Bruce Springsteen is under “o” for old and I moved all of the country albums to the trash.
I wasn’t sure about Coldplay. I thought I’d put them under “u” for U-2 but I moved U-2to “w” for wimpy. Then I thought I’d put them under “s” for Sting but Sting is in the “p” section for pretentious. Somebody told me that Coldplay is a lot like Radiohead but I actually like Radiohead so I struggled with that until I realized that “r” also stands for retarded and retread, both of which fit Coldplay’s style.
Jun 27, 2008 at 9:12 am rating: +50
#28
aaa
Do these places really place so little value on their customers’ money (not even the customers themselves, just their money) that they find it appropriate to be antagonistic asses and potentially decrease their profits? Jeez.
Jun 27, 2008 at 9:20 am rating: 0
#29
unholyghost2003
All I have to say to #1 is:
.
.
.
DAMN THE MAN! SAVE THE EMPIRE!
Jun 27, 2008 at 9:29 am rating: +1
#30
RALPHY
YIKES! They should post the I.Q. required to come in and spend your money. If you happen to be on the cusp, do you have to sneek in the emergency door? If you don’t know your I.Q., will they administer an exam to see if you’re qualified? If you’re a genius and off their charts, do you get to shit in their trash can? Oh–only two questions? That really sucks!
Jun 27, 2008 at 11:11 am rating: +2
#31
claw71
I really have only one question:
WHY DON”T YOU HAVE ANY MATTHEW SWEET?
Jun 27, 2008 at 11:42 am rating: +2
#32
pistola
Record store nazis should only be allowed to procreate with baristas, forming an army of the world’s most annoying minimum wage employees ever.
Jun 27, 2008 at 11:48 am rating: +32
#33
jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!
FOPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the last picture.
its being opened up now though
:):)
Jun 27, 2008 at 11:56 am rating: 0
#34
Craig
I liked this post a lot. It took me back to my record shop days.
http://friendsofthestars.co.uk/2008/06/27/the-bored-girlfriend-chair/
Jun 27, 2008 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#35
Canthz_B
“Dude, we’re all wasted back here. If you can’t return items in alphabetical order, it just cannot be done.
Move along now, Man, you’re harshing my buzz.”
Jun 27, 2008 at 1:28 pm rating: +2
#36
Thomas
And you wonder why these stores are soon going to be a relic.
Jun 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#37
Sheepish
is that the correct use for the term ‘neither us us’ in note # 3?
it confused me ’cause it makes me feel like there are 2 people scolding at the same time.
Jun 27, 2008 at 2:14 pm rating: 0
#38
Fromeo
it’s too bad that #3 was cut just a little bit too high to show the SCOTS poster underneath it.
Jun 27, 2008 at 2:47 pm rating: 0
#39
cricket
#2 probably sounds like this:
“is this sign real?”
-yes
“are you kidding?”
-no. NEXT!
Jun 27, 2008 at 3:15 pm rating: 0
#40
cricket
goddamn it, I just saw that ScaryDuck said the same thing.
oh well. gotta get up earlier to get the PAN worm.
Jun 27, 2008 at 3:18 pm rating: 0
#41
GhostWriter
I only get two questions? OK- riddle me this, Rob Gordon:
(1) Does Pink Floyd go under P or F?
(2) What about 10,000 Maniacs?
Jun 27, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: +2
#42
GhostWriter
To complicate matters even further, the clerks at the store with a two-question limit either always lie, or always tell the truth.
Jun 27, 2008 at 4:29 pm rating: +14
#43
GhostWriter
Note 5’s author is lying to himself. I’ve tried to hold it until the end of the next day, and I daresay it can’t be done, much less will anybody be happy to do it for me.
Jun 27, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: +3
#44
Sarah
Holy crap. I like this website because it reminds me that I shouldn’t ever post signs like the ones I posted in the record store I worked in from 1996-2001. That job made me a bad person. Thanks for keeping me in line now that I work in an office with people who forget to turn off the coffeemaker, etc.
Jun 27, 2008 at 6:45 pm rating: +1
#45
Quite Contrary
Does the two question limit apply to customers only or does it apply to employees as well?
Jun 28, 2008 at 12:46 am rating: +1
#46
Jsmoke
Dear Pompous Record store employees,
Your ironic punishment in hell will be to work at a Ross Dress for Less for eternity.
XOXO
,
The Devil
Jun 28, 2008 at 10:51 pm rating: +2
#47
Ryan
I think this is when a music blogger like me-self is supposed to say something clever and ironic….
Open a dollar store. I hear there’s money in it.
Jun 30, 2008 at 11:40 am rating: 0
#48
elle
what i love about these is that while people should probably be putting albums back in order, what the hell do record store employees do all day?
along with “word of the day”, i agree that pretentious record store employees and baristas should go to a terrible island where they’re only allowed to mate with each other, producing offspring so lazy and irritating that only they can tolerate them.
seriously, people, just because you make a cup of coffee doesn’t mean you’re cooler than anyone else who comes in there. sorry i have a good education and i’m not an expert on espresso.
Jun 30, 2008 at 12:45 pm rating: 0
#49
Russ
Ahh the irony… anyone who is too impatient to put a record back where it belongs, is certainly not going to take the time to read that epic sign…
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
Jul 1, 2008 at 1:11 am rating: 0
#50
The Commish
I used to work in a used record shop in high school. We had a shitty selection but a very profitable head shop in the back. People buying glass pipes, as you could imagine, were especially high-larious.
Too bad I quit after my boss got high and yelled at me for refusing to sell food stamps he kept in the register.
Needless to say, that record shop is no more.
Jul 1, 2008 at 12:36 pm rating: +1
#51
glastonberry
Reminds me of that great Onion article:
“37 Record-Store Clerks Feared Dead In Yo La Tengo Concert Disaster”
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27870
Jul 8, 2008 at 4:06 pm rating: +1
#52
misterpain
I filed the music according to cockney rhyming slang, but I can’t remember where i put James Blunt…
Jul 9, 2008 at 6:46 am rating: +2
#53 the powerseller of pompano beach
[...] top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers; extra credit: how do you get out of an ebay auction? [...]
Jul 26, 2008 at 11:37 pm rating: 0
#54
SuperSparky
This is why people with educations get paid more. Don’t like alphabetizing and organizing at minimum wage? Well, then pull out those piercings, tidy up that hair, get some nice clothes, get an education, and learn to speak without the word “like” and “fu**”, and stop leaving your mouth and bottom lip gaping at the end of every sentence, and you may never have to work a register again.
Alphabetizing records/CDs and talking to stupid customers is your job. It’s why you are being paid. You certainly do not have a grand and masterful intellect to be given the “privilege” of manning the register. You know, McDonald’s are always hiring.
You are the master of your own destiny. Stop blaming others for your stupid choices.
Jul 28, 2008 at 9:34 am rating: 0
#55
Becca
this is all very championship vinyl.
Aug 9, 2008 at 5:13 am rating: 0
#56
ahoymate
As someone who works in a record store, I can feel nothing but compassion for the people who made those bitchy notes. Since we’re supposed to be a “friendly” store, our only sign says “please do not open sealed records.” Really, I would love to find and shake hands with all the people who make me spend an hour locating a single misplaced copy of Katy Parry when I’m doing inventory.
Nov 19, 2008 at 3:25 am rating: 0
#57
toastnuances
I’ve seen #2 in the flesh, as it were. It’s at Mr. Cheapo’s Used CDs in Commack, Long Island, NY.
Mar 12, 2009 at 8:21 pm rating: 0
#58 The best customer-berating record store signs according to passiveaggressivenotes.com » My Chemical Toilet
[...] people for flatmates, neighbours, etc. No Rock And Roll Fun have pointed to a great recent post dedicated to the pedantic and sometimes downright insulting notes left by record store proprieters. [...]
Apr 4, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: 0
#59 gone, but not bitter or anything
[...] related: top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s [...]
Aug 31, 2009 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
Leave a Comment