In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In posts on Facebook?

June 29th, 2008 · 140 comments

Writes an anonymous social networker in Gainesville, Florida: “This guy and his (ex) roommate are friends of mine on Facebook, and they’ve been bickering back and forth for months now, airing their grievances for everyone to see.”

The girl eventually moved out, our submitter says, but it seems like maybe — just maybe — she left some unfinished business behind.

Kat refuses to pay the rent, and is probably a bad person for it.

About me: I need Kat to pay the rent.

Seriously, though, you need to pay the rent.

An open letter to my strangely missing box of couscous

related: Thou shalt honor thy Facebook newsfeed, and keep it holy

FILED UNDER: Facebook · money · public shaming · roommates · saga · stealing


140 responses so far ↓

  • #1   j.

    hmm. i can’t tell if the guy is insane, a genius, or both.

    kat may be embarrassed into paying the rent… but still…

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:07 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   hobgoblin

      I’m going to say “both.” The couscous thing is genius, but the rent thing quickly becomes pathetic and sad.

      Oh, and would it be too obvious to say “the couscous was fucking delicious”?

      Yeah, I thought so. Never mind that, then.

      Jun 29, 2008 at 8:20 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Dent

      i don’t think you can have genius without at least some degree of insanity, so i think both is the appropriate response.
      the couscous letter is fucking delicious, don’t hide it.
      everything else is just weird

      Jun 30, 2008 at 12:14 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   iagreewithhim

      Danny is a genius. The couscous thing is too fucking good, and WAY PA. And changing his facebook info? Fucking epic. He’s not being a whiney bitch at all, he’s using his brain and making an example of her. Bitch deserves it.

      Sep 19, 2008 at 9:39 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Historian

      This man will go down in passive agressive history.

      Dec 8, 2008 at 2:40 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   PANU bang

    A veritable PAN goldmine.

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   PANU bang

    Tell me something, if there is ‘barely nothing’ left, does that mean there is a lot left?

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   HugsandKisses101 bang

      Yes. Yes, it does. My thoughts exactly!

      Oct 10, 2009 at 8:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Mishee bang

    first of all – the couscous? it was fucking delicious… (yes, I said it!)

    secondly… KAT PAY THE EFFIN RENT ALREADY!

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:36 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Mishee bang

    Danny also has excellent spelling, grammar, and sentence composition skills. And for that, I love him….

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:38 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Sarah

      Too bad he doesn’t know “to not use” split infinitives.

      Jun 29, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   schrodingersduck bang

      Actually, most grammatical authorities say it’s not a mistake to occasionally split the odd infinitive – many even encourage it, since it makes the meaning of complex sentences less ambiguous.

      Most arguments against it are based on what other languages do – because German, Middle English and Latin don’t split infinitives, English shouldn’t either – rather than any solid rationale.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:25 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   glastonberry

      Danny is just one of those guys who thinks he’s real clever and witty. Everyone is too polite to tell him he’s an insufferable bore.

      Jul 8, 2008 at 2:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   anglophile bang

    In the time it took to log onto Facebook, write the letter and post it, he could have gone to the store, purchased a new box, and cooked it. But bonus points for the Steinbeck shout-out.

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:40 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Wade bang

      And let’s not forget the time it took to find, download and post an image of the Couscous box from the internet. Unless Danny takes a digital photograph of all his groceries, just in case.

      Jun 29, 2008 at 8:49 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   amazon

      I’m highly anticipating his next letter to the nasty-ass litter box!

      Jun 30, 2008 at 1:00 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   claw71 bang

      I found it! Dan had it posted on Facebook…

      Dear Nasty-ass litter box:

      When you moved in I was apprehensive because I’ve dealt with your kind before and it’s never been pleasant. It’s not that I’m a bigot, which explains why I opened my door to you in the first place, but in the past I’ve known litter boxes to think only of themselves.

      I was assured that you’d be regularly cleaned and that you’d maintain a low profile around the house. It was also promised that wayward litter would be swept up immediately and that orphaned turds would never be an issue.

      I wish I could say that it comes as a shock that none of these bargains were upheld. Dried turds have formed colonies in various places around the apartment. Litter nuggets are imbedded in my flesh. The acrid scent of urine not only permeates the apartment but it remains draped over me when I leave.

      I live in shit. Shit, shit, shit. Shit in the morning, shit in the evening, shit on the weekends. A person shouldn’t have to live this way. A litter box should be more considerate.

      I was hoping that you’d be the litter box to prove all my prejudices wrong. I’m truly sorry to say that thanks to you they have not only been reaffirmed but reinforced.

      I really wish you would leave. Take your army of cat turds and the sea of scattered litter with you.

      Sincerely,

      Danny

      Jun 30, 2008 at 10:58 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Allusion Nazi

      Well, except that the reference is presumably to “the best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley” (the line itself, rather than any Steinbeck-specific content). That line is from a Robert Burns poem to which the title of Steinbeck’s better-known book refers. So not that many points for the shout-out, actually.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Mishee bang

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVmV7uy8Xqk

      Re 6.4: I knew that.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Quite Contrary

    Danny and Kat are asspandas.

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:46 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Moonsilver bang

      The cat however is merely an ass. I am basing this asssumption on the fact that the only evidence that there is a cat at all is the fact that the litter box has been used. Perhaps he’s a Cheshire Cat?

      Jun 30, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Sara

      Asspanda is the best insult I’ve ever heard. I just peed a little.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 2:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Wade bang

    I’m amused by the religious views entry.

    The Unfunny Truth about Rentology.

    Jun 29, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   tnt

    i so wish that i knew these ppl.
    alas these are the things that i will NOT miss about the ‘ville (as us “locals” like to call it)

    Jun 29, 2008 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Sarah

    Scene: Danny’s apartment. Danny’s new roommate, who we will call Joanne, has come to visit. Our friend Katrina refuses to speak to Danny herself.

    JOANNE: This is weird, very weird
    I’m so mad that I don’t know what to do.
    So my roommate just sent
    Me over here about rent
    But she won’t even talk about you!

    DANNY: Feel like going insane?
    Got a fire in your brain?
    Mysteriously low on gasoline?

    JOANNE: As a matter of fact…

    DANNY: Honey, I know this act.
    It’s called the Tango Katrina.

    The Tango Katrina
    It’s a dark dizzy merry-go-round
    And she makes you twisted…

    JOANNE: You’re wrong.

    DANNY: She’ll get you evicted!

    JOANNE: It’s different with me!

    DANNY: And you toss and you turn
    ‘Cause last night you learned
    The heating bill just went unpaid?

    JOANNE: I think I know what you mean…

    DANNY: The Tango Katrina!

    Have you ever gone to the pantry, and lost your couscous?

    JOANNE: (unconvincingly) …Never.

    DANNY: Have you ever asked if she ate your food?

    JOANNE: It’s no use…
    Are eviction notes taped to your door?

    DANNY: Every day. So be cautious.

    JOANNE: Does she leave empty litterboxes?

    DANNY: More than empty.

    JOANNE: I’m getting… nauseous…

    Jun 29, 2008 at 9:14 pm   rating: 64  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Angel


      ♥ bravo!

      Jun 29, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Sarah bang

      Very apropos username.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 12:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   TC

      Friends call me…

      Jun 30, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Amber Love

      Hilarious!! So very apropos indeed!

      Jun 30, 2008 at 12:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   zombieBlanco bang

    I like how Danny qualifies that Kat is probably a bad person for not paying rent.

    Stalin sent thousands to the gulags, and is probably a bad person for it.

    See? That probably makes everything better!

    Jun 29, 2008 at 9:18 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Maybe the litter boxes were intended as compensation for the couscous?

    Jun 29, 2008 at 9:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   amazon

      They are made out of the same thing, right?

      Jun 30, 2008 at 11:14 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   brettt bang

    I’m on Kat’s side here.

    That rent money bought me a tub of DELICIOUS couscous, and I took a bath in it.

    Jun 29, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   damon

    Fucking MASTERPIECE! I’m gonna print a screenshot of this and friggin FRAME IT! :P

    Jun 29, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   John in IL

    Human decency gets two thumbs up from me! Overrated? Nahhhh.

    Jun 29, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   fink

    He goes by Danny… isn’t that enough? He’s been doomed from the start. Let’s review the Dannys we know:

    Danny Bonaduce (I don’t think I need to qualify this one)
    Danny Wood (of NKOTB!)
    Danny Elfman (He got a shitty name in the front and the back: double penetration!)
    Danny Devito (Taxi, Matilda)
    Danny Glover (I think that’s an alias for Samuel L. Jackson…)

    Jun 29, 2008 at 11:00 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Sirius bang

      Hey now, you leave Matilda alone!

      Jun 30, 2008 at 1:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   GhostWriter bang

      I nominate Danny Zuko (from “Grease”) to the club. He was 24 years old when he graduated high school.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 9:26 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   fink

      It’s the rent that I want
      Hoo hoo hooooo honey
      It’s the rent that I want
      Hoo hoo hooooo honey

      It’s the rent I neeeeeeed
      Oh, yes indeed!

      Jun 30, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Donna Martin Graduates!

      Danny *Robert* Elfman.

      Hence, airtight.

      Aug 29, 2008 at 9:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Epi

    Wow… Danny’s a whiny bitch. Way to bitch fight on facebook…. Loser…

    Jun 29, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Abe Froman bang

    Too bad Danny didn’t lay a golden egg at 11:05. Then he could have paid the damn rent himself!

    Jun 29, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   cricket bang

      Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago?

      Jul 1, 2008 at 12:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Lo

    That rent money was fucking delicious.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Ashley

    Is anyone else a little bit curious to hear the lyrics to “I don’t want to get evicted” ?

    Jun 30, 2008 at 1:24 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   park rose bang

      This is as far as I got, with hardly a thing changed. Pathetic, I know. I lay down the gauntlet for all the resident lyricist genii…

      To the tune of this.

      Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours I go Don’t wanna be evicted
      Nothin’ to do and no where to go-o-oh Don’t wanna be evicted

      PS: He can’t control his fingers, and can’t control his brain ; a problem which also afflicts Danny if one looks at the frequency of his facebook posts.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 7:32 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   JuanRojas

    Actually the couscous wasn’t fucking delicious and I vomited it in the litter box. Damn me for wanting to try everything, once.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 3:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   RALPHY

    So-he got stiffed by his girlfriend that he let move in. He probably got his money’s worth in the intervening months. If he misses his couscous that much, he might try coca-puffs and grits. Get over it-life goes on.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 4:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Burghardt

    I think he should have said “the-box-formerly-known-as-couscous”.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 5:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Rowdy bang

    Dear Dan,

    Couscous invited you to a game of Scrabulous on Facebook.

    ‘Sorry Dan, It’s not you; it’s me, I’m just I’m not ready for a Tajine right now. I still care about you but Kat was always the one for me.’

    To reply to this message, follow the link below:
    facebook.com/n/?inbox/readmessage.php

    Jun 30, 2008 at 5:56 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   katy

      is this a normal thing for people to invite those they’re not talking to to a game of scrabulous? this happened to me and now this reference… it all seems a bit more than coincidental.

      Jul 5, 2008 at 8:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Jsmoke bang

    Dan is a friggin douche! Couscous? Are you kidding me Dan, couscous? You should be exiled from civilization. However, Katrina pay what you owe.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 7:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Pip

    Epic! The ode to the $2.99 box of couscous was classic.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 7:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   claw71 bang

    This is really weak. Dan’s not brilliant, he’s a moron and he’s also gutless. These notes aren’t
    passive aggressive at all, they’re passive whiny. Boo-friggity-Hoo. Dan needs to stop looking for couscous in his pantry and see if there’s a pair of balls in there. Honestly just one would do.

    Dear Kat: Pay the fucking rent or I’ll kneecap your mother. That’s how I roll. And I don’t eat couscous. Jesus, Dan, couscous? Do you eat that before or after you take a bath with the scented candles and perfumed salts? Pansy.

    I think Kat should keep on keeping on. She should invite that stinky homeless guy from down the street to stay in Dan’s room and snatch food right out of Dan’s hands when he’s snacking in the living room. She should wipe her ass with his dress shirts and let him try to fish them out of the stopped up commode.

    It’s harsh but the world doesn’t need people like Dan. He needs to be pushed over the edge. If that stimulates the development of a spine, great. If it drives him to throw himself in front of a train, so be it. Either way, we’re better off.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 7:52 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Mikey

      That’s really pretty intense, dude. Maybe you should take a deep breath, have a bowl of couscous and live and let live.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   amazon

      Don’t worry Mikey, that’s just claw being claw. They must have been late with the meds this morning.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 11:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Nathan

      That’s awesome. Dan is a punk. I don’t know if we need to bump him off but Claw is right, Kat should be wiping the floor with this dweeb.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 1:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   K.

      I agree that Danny is a moron. In fact, to me he sounds just like an ex boyfriend of mine who used to write up complex sentences with all too much vocabulary and pseudo-intellect every time he got his panties in a knot.

      Just because someone can write something that resembles satire doesn’t make them a good person. The idea that they took all the time to have that war on facebook shows the utter lack of balls of sir Dan. I would side with Kat for pseudo-intellect offends my inner persona far more than an idiot with flawed logic who sees no need to hide behind a wall of false intelligence.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   thatswhatshesaid bang

    I think Kat owes me rent, too.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 7:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Rowdy bang

    I wonder if Kat smoked in the apartment and also raped Dan before leaving.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 8:00 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Mishee bang

      I just had to plus this for the Anthony Grosso/Rene Hall reference.

      Good show! Thank you Terry!

      Jun 30, 2008 at 8:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Beth

    Kat,

    Please see Casey in HR to pay the rent.

    THX SANDRA

    Jun 30, 2008 at 8:45 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   se

    An open letter to a box of couscous? Isn’t that just too fucking cute.

    Damn, just noticed that I pretty much echoed #26.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 9:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Cowgirlgraphics

    I know I’m going against the grain here, but the only reason Kat moved in was for the free rent. When she found out it was “put out or get out” she left … leaving Danny with the only cover story he could muster: that she wouldn’t pay the rent … oh Danny boy, you should know by now, when she found that box of couscous she just wasn’t that into you.

    Move on.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 10:39 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   djr

    Danny should spend less time bitching on Facebook and more time earning some rent money.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 10:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   GhostWriter bang

    In truth, everything is rent:

    DANNY:
    How can I document her price?
    Kat’s escalating my
    eviction each day…

    KATRINA:
    Interests? – Schminterests!
    Blow me, Dan!
    ..and now your headshot,
    “Katrina, Please Pay…” ??
    Rent !

    Why do you write so long
    though your roommate’s gone,
    when I once shouted “I don’t care!”
    Damn your notes, they suck
    Why do you bother? Couscous vanished into thin air…

    DANNY:
    Now I’m hungry and bitter
    (I sent this thru Twitter)

    When you gonna pay?
    When you gonna pay?
    When you gonna pay-
    Last month’s rent?

    KATRINA:
    Why don’t you start to cry?
    Is there nothing you’ve learned?
    never felt like cleaning up in my room…

    DANNY:
    How can you denigrate me
    when you don’t pay your fees?
    Here’s an egg for you!

    You left me a cat tray
    With nasty-ass cat waste

    When you gonna pay?
    When you gonna pay?
    When you gonna pay-
    Last month’s rent?

    Jun 30, 2008 at 11:02 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   amazon

      I must not have fully embraced la vie boheme. This song always bugged me. I mean seriously, who feels entitled enough that they don’t think they need to pay rent?

      Jun 30, 2008 at 11:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   GhostWriter bang

      Many starving artists make the arguable case against private property ownership. Granted, it is driven by a egocentric desire to spend their days perfecting their craft, but endowments and free-market capitalism are not symbols of compassion or equality. What exactly did Benny do, to own that apartment building? He got married.

      Well, perhaps he did pay his dues…

      Jun 30, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   Lola

      Why Mark and Roger didn’t think they had to pay rent…

      Benny: “…Last month’s rent, which I let slide!”

      Mark (Roger?): “Let slide? You said we were golden!”

      Jan 29, 2009 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   claw71 bang

    The reason Kat stopped paying the rent is because she got tired of asking Dan to stop making tea with her dirty panties. Unfortunately for us she confronted Dan directly rather the post her issues online.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 11:04 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Lurker

    Haiku for Danny and Kat

    Kat, please pay the rent.
    Please, Kat, pay the rent. Please, Kat.
    Please pay the rent, Kat.

    Has Kat paid the rent?
    Has Kat paid the rent? Now? Now?
    The rent – has Kat paid?

    Kat won’t pay the rent.
    The rent won’t be paid by Kat.
    Pay the rent? Kat won’t.

    Kat ate my couscous.
    My couscous is inside Kat,
    Or Kat’s new toilet.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 11:36 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Amanda

    Oh my god. Glorious.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Candice

    Men eat cous cous??

    Jun 30, 2008 at 1:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Mishee bang

      yes candice… gay men…

      Jun 30, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Mikey

      I do, but according to Claw we don’t. Apparently in Claw’s corner of Oklahoma men only eat foods with one syllable.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   claw71 bang

      I’ve got something you can eat….can you guess how many syllables?

      Jun 30, 2008 at 1:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Mark bang

      Claw only eats cous. None of this liberal hippie cous-cous stuff.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 1:41 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   Joey's Stinky Foot

      Hey! My dad’s from Morocco and he grew up on Couscous. It’s not just for gay men!

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   claw71 bang

      Sometimes it skips a generation.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.7   Rowdy bang

      The reason your Dad had to grow up on couscous is because Kat never paid him the damn rent money. That bitch got a LOT to answer for.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:30 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   nmallen

    Amusing… really very amusing…

    Jun 30, 2008 at 1:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   GhostWriter bang

      Please greenlight the above comment.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 3:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Moonsilver

    Ok, through this whole thing there is no mention of an actual feline in this scenario. Is Kat the cat that used the litter box and if so, it’s no wonder she moved out without paying rent. This apartment has no bathroom. Also, if this guy has a litter box and no cat, how do we know he ever really had a box of couscous. Maybe he just had a picture of a box of couscous.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 1:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   se

      What if Kat was an actual person and since the apartment has no bathroom, she used a litter box instead and didn’t clean it. Danny boy would have good reason to be a whinny bitch then, wouldn’t he?
      Maybe she finally used the couscous box as a temp litter box.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 2:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   Moonsilver

      I bet couscous would make great kitty litter.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   schrodingersduck bang

      Even worse, it’s specifically Toasted Pine Nut couscous. Not only is it easy to mistake couscous for kitty litter, but any… lumps could be passed off as being just large pieces of “toasted pine nut”.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Moonsilver bang

    Perhaps Dan’s cat is in fact Schrodinger’s cat and that’s why you have to be Schrodinger’s duck.

    (Meant to add this to previous thread, but I goofed and can’t figure out how to edit it out. Sigh.)

    Jun 30, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   secondsout bang

    The really stupid thing about having a petty war over Facebook is that Kat can just easily delete him from her Facebook friends list and never see his updates again. Methinks a more direct approach, like taking her to small-claims court makes more sense. That, or holding her cat hostage until she pays the rent, sending pieces of the cat’s tail back to back up his threats.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 4:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   K.

      I’m going to make the vague assumption here, that maybe if he DIDN’T take her to small-claims court, it’s because he doesn’t actually have a case.

      For instance, I once had a roommate kicked out mid-year for stealing shit and other grievances she caused me. Since housing obviously didn’t side with her for being in the wrong, the only thing she tried to do was gang up on me with her bunkmate while mine was out, and inform me of how I was such a terrible person as it would make it hard for her in coming semesters. When I said I’d only talk about it when my bunkmate returned, she walked away, and never tried to bring it up again, eventually moving out.

      I’m assuming that if she wanted to create a facebook about me and post it publicly, it might have been similar to this. But, the point remains that if I had been in the wrong kicking her out early, she could have argued it, and they would have sided with her… but they didn’t. Oops.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   Canthz_B bang

      Not arguing is not he same thing as not having a valid argument. Oops.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.3   Moonsilver bang

      Team hold cat(s) hostage and/or corporal cat cuddling!

      Jun 30, 2008 at 7:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.4   sutucd bang

      Kat did delete him from her friends, but that still didn’t stop her from checking his statuses ritually. She made some really petty facebook statuses as well but they weren’t nearly as entertaining so I didn’t send them in… plus they were downright mean. And Danny did try being direct and upfront about getting the rent money, and when that failed I guess he thought exposing her within their mutual friends would do it. Threats of small claims court came next and she finally coughed up some of the thousands she owed. She never paid him back in full but Danny did indeed drop it.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   sutucd bang

    I was the one who submitted this entry. I’m kinda mad PAN left out some key points (or maybe I forgot to mention them?), like the fact that Kat has 4 cats, not just 1. Also, even when she knew she was going to be moving out in a couple months, she went ahead and brought home a puppy. So not only was there a stinky litterbox to deal with, but also puppy accidents as he was being potty trained. It’s not a big apartment.
    Kat and Danny never dated, they were just good friends. Things took a turn for the worse and after lots of passive-aggressive behavior toward each other, Kat decided to break the lease early and move out. She still legally owed Danny rent and refused to pay. Things got bad when Kat publically declared via facebook status she would not be paying the rent and perhaps Danny should’ve considered that before treating her badly, as if that canceled out any legal obligations. Danny then made a facebook group titled “Kat should pay the rent” which only lasted a few days before facebook took it down, but had quite a lot of members. I think Kat eventually paid for one month’s rent, maybe two, but then stopped and I’m pretty sure Danny just dropped it.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 4:50 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   secondsout bang

      So you’re Danny, right? I know, you’ll claim you aren’t. But you can tell the PAN commenters. We’re all friends here.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   sutucd bang

      No, I’m just a mutual friend that got caught up in all the facebook drama. I definitely take Danny’s side though, Kat’s a pretty cool girl (but I’d never be crazy enough to want to live with her) but you can’t just move out before the lease ends and think you won’t still have to pay rent. She could’ve tried to find someone to lease her room, summer was approaching, it probably wouldn’t have been that hard. I don’t care how mean she thought Danny was being to her, they’ve been friends for so long and she didn’t even care if he got evicted.
      Danny wins because the law wins.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 5:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   claw71 bang

      I don’t care if Danny gets evicted. In fact, I want him to be evicted. From the whole planet. I’m not on Kat’s side becauuse she sounds like an irresponsible twit but Danny’s response to the problem trumps everything. Nope, I’m Team Balls in this battle and it looks like Kat’s got them. I don’t like it, but balls are balls.

      And you call yourself a mutual friend? What does that say about you? If I knew these two people and could actually confine them to the same apartment I’d lock them in and run like hell.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 5:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.4   RunBarbara bang

      can i be on your team, claw? im good at handling balls.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.5   sutucd bang

      well to be fair the facebook statuses and public airing of grievances was only after Danny tried to get Kat’s share of the rent and she refused and ignored his calls. And Danny writes for the local and student papers and he’s a very public person, so if you know him, you know the couscous letter and facebook statuses are just his style.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.6   K.

      well “his style” is full of shit. My style is also to be as whiny as I can in a public place, and pretending to be an intellect.

      If he’s so involved in the community where he lives, shouldn’t it be easy finding a roommate? And dropping the bullshit? Or has he already written an article in the paper about how much Kat needs to pay the rent?

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.7   sutucd bang

      He dropped it a long time ago. Kat paid up (at least some of it) and he let it go. And no there was no article about any of this, he wouldn’t do anything like that. Remember, he only made public postings on facebook within his friends and possibly his networks. I’m the one who took it and brought it here for everyone else to see, I thought it was too good to pass up. I’m sure either Danny or Kat (or both) have found out by now, and I have no idea whether they’d be happy or pissed. Kat would be pissed I’m sure, Danny I’m not so sure about.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.8   PANU bang

      K.?

      Kat, is that you?

      Very clever disguise.

      Jun 30, 2008 at 6:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.9   GhostWriter bang

      With these new developments, I am so totally on Team Kat, that I am going to seek out an off-Broadway production of “Cats”.

      …and according to many state laws, you can indeed vacate and terminate a lease with 30 days notice, without penalty.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 8:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.10   glastonberry

      “Danny writes for the local and student papers”

      What a surprise….

      Jul 8, 2008 at 3:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Guest99

    I’ll bet Kat was a Cat. Dan’s red-meat-eating-balls-o-steel-having other personality (lets call him Ted Nugent) used the couscous for litter due to its excellent urine absorption properties.

    I’d like to correct Danny’s non-perishables organizing. The rightful place for a box of couscous is between the sack of grits and box of farina at the bottom of your rubbish bin.

    Team suck it couscous eater.

    Jun 30, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Lurker

    I will not pay it with my loot;
    I will not pay with cake and fruit;
    I will not pay the flipping rent;
    I will not pay a single cent.
    I will not pay five hundred clams;
    I will not pay it, Dan-I-Am

    Jun 30, 2008 at 9:28 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Claude Speed

    Wow, so many people here siding with Kat, even though she was the one being a bitch by jumping without paying the rent, taking the couscous and leaving her cat’s turds.

    I guess by everyone’s estimation Danny should have either sucked it up, or hire someone to beat her. Beat her with an aluminum bat until she gets brain damage and her parent decide to pull the plug.

    Harsh.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 12:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   cricket bang

    I have to side with Danny here. having to actually CHASE a roommate for money SUCKS.

    my last roommate also used to steal weed from me while I was out walking HIS dog.

    I am a doormat no more. fuck Kat right in her goddamned ear.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 12:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Joey's Stinky Foot

      Where I’m from, stealing someone’s weed is punishable by tying one down and making them watch The View for 48 straight hours. If you’re actually doing a favor for the person while they’re stealing your weed, an extra 12 hours of MTV’s The Hills is thrown in for good measure. *sigh* I adore torture by television.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Russ

    After reading this, I felt amused. I then began to wonder if some people might have a little too much time on their hands. For God’s sakes, just buy a new box…

    http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/

    Jul 1, 2008 at 1:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   RussSucks

      …and so does his site

      Jul 1, 2008 at 1:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #48.2   TC

      Gee Russ, I’ll be sure to add that enlighting page to my bookmarks!

      Jul 1, 2008 at 12:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #49   Agent Inspired

    Facebook is not the place for this kind of drama.

    Team they both suck.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 3:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   FreddyK

    I’m with Danny here, Kat sounds like a total bitch who deserves to have it brought to everyone’s attention. Danny may have whined a little too much about it, but it was in such an amusing way it’s ok. Oh I wish I knew him or both of them and was able to follow the drama as it was happening.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 10:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   TC

    Is it possible that Kat and Michelle a.k.a. “Fucking-Delicious-Outback-Bread-Girl” are the same person? It seems like too much of a coincidence. Obviously, they are both carb lovers, they both get inebriated and go frig diving, and they both seem to enjoy living with spineless douchebags.
    Bravo Kat!

    Jul 1, 2008 at 11:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   pers bang

    I’m on team couscous…Kat and Danny both fail at life.

    Go Team Couscous!

    Jul 2, 2008 at 12:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Masha G.

    So, why did he lay an egg? And did he eat it with couscous later? This “Kat needs to pay the rent” thing is distracting from the real news.

    Jul 3, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   hello

    Man, that couscous letter was pretty eloquent.

    Jul 25, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

    [...] related: in daylights? in sunsets? in midnights? in posts on facebook? [...]

    Aug 28, 2008 at 7:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Sydney

    This might be the funniest thing I have seen on the internet. ever.

    Aug 30, 2008 at 9:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Gail

    I’m in love with Danny. Kat sucks.

    I can’t believe anyone thinks Danny “whines too much”. For one thing, he’s hilarious.. For another, the bitch left him holding the bag for the rent, eats his food, and leaves a filthy litter box behind for him to deal with. I mean, come on. You see “drama”, I see a guy having some fun with a sucky situation. Team Danny all the way.

    Dec 5, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Kristen

    Changing your entire facebook to torment a former roommate? Fucking epic.

    Kat’s a twat and needs to handle her bills. Danny is a fucking legend, and I want to be his best friend.

    Dec 8, 2008 at 2:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Aphasia23 bang

    This is quite possibly one of the greatest things I have ever seen.
    Ever.

    Jun 22, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   chibis223

    Liked the title reference. Mad props to Sarah and GhostWriter for the re-written lyrics. <3

    For the record, I freaking LOVE couscous. I never make less than a cup at a time and no matter how hungry I am/am not, I finish all of it. There are so many tasty things to do with it, but eating it straight out of the pot is entirely possible as well.

    Quit being such culturally illiterate pussies and give foreign foods a chance.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #60.1   pony girl bang

      Couscous!!
      Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
      yummy!

      In the immortal words of Hobbes (calvin’s furry friend) : Now I’m all hungry.

      Nov 3, 2009 at 6:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #61   loverofthenotes bang

    “Danny just laid an egg” LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    Aug 20, 2009 at 12:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    ah! general vote is against danny.
    That’s just shame.

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