“a few years back i was living in a halfway house in canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes alex in australia. “one morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (the coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the [...]
Entries from July 2008
bleak house
July 31st, 2008 · 215 Comments
Tags: CAPS LOCK · actions speak louder · australia · canberra · fridge · money · questionable logic · roommates · stealing · you call that punctuation?
passive-aggressive mad libs
July 30th, 2008 · 131 Comments
this note from a “friendly neighbor” was put through the mailslot of dan’s apartment in the heart of south philly. says dan: “i wanted to put ‘thanks for the advice!’ on the door in response, but thought better of it.”
as infuriating as the note was, “i do love how they phoned in the underlining on [...]
Tags: excessive underlining · garbage · gloriously redundant · neighbors · philadelphia
what we didn’t learn at comicon: a passive-aggressive show & tell
July 29th, 2008 · 106 Comments
first, the “tell” part: i know it’s ridiculous, but i still have a mini existential crisis every time a friend/colleague/family member forwards me a passive-aggressive-themed article or cartoon along with a remark like “this made me think of you!”or “hey, passive-aggressive girl!” (i comfort myself with the thought that hey, at least i didn’t decide [...]
Tags: meta
fight or flight
July 28th, 2008 · 195 Comments
in terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”
(note: this e-mail, our seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)
related: perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · irregular capitalization · odor · office · oh no you didn't · seattle · thanks (but not really) · vomit
the powerseller of pompano beach
July 27th, 2008 · 316 Comments
if you’ve ever tut-tutted over the consequences of big-box stores and online retailers overtaking small businesses, you’ll be heartened to hear that some folks have figured out how to bring those old-fashioned mom-n-pop ideas about customer service into the digital age…with the help of a big ol’ corporation called ebay!
while browsing the auction site for [...]
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · ebay · florida · more aggressive than passive · pompano beach · university
franger al fresco
July 26th, 2008 · 118 Comments
geetha in sydney says this note appeared in the shared dining room the day after the city’s gay mardi gras. the best part? “a few people admitted the condom might be theirs, but nobody would take credit for the note.”
related: dearest roommate
Tags: roommates · seattle · smiley · stealing · sydney · visual aids
cue the violins
July 25th, 2008 · 209 Comments
when sheena in austin spotted this note on her neighbor’s front door, she couldn’t help but wonder: “if your doormat has sentimental value, maybe it should be hanging on your wall instead of sitting on the ground?”
related: wrath mat
extra credit: sentimental value: clothing stories from ebay
Tags: austin · ebay · excessive underlining · grow up · neighbors · stealing
“so if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great.”
July 24th, 2008 · 231 Comments
writes our anonymous submitter from canada: “i got back to my desk after lunch on a friday and found this heartfelt note on my keyboard. i was touched.”
adds our submitter: “i worked my ass off on that damn report!”
related: oh sweetie, i love it when you talk dirty!
extra credit: TPS report cover sheet
Tags: canada · office · smiley · thanks (but not really) · tps reports
scatological poetry slam
July 22nd, 2008 · 221 Comments
given the highly intellectual discussions this site’s commenters have become known for, it seems safe to assume that the question “how are we to judge poetry?” is one that you, dear reader, have no doubt pondered on many an occasion, along with other more academic concerns such as the proper resting state of the toilet [...]
Tags: canada · illinois · odor · office · toilet · toronto
al gore knows you drove when you could have taken your new bicycle
July 21st, 2008 · 234 Comments
kendall was waiting for her peach perfection at the jamba juice in elmhurst, illinois when she spotted this note on the napkin-holder. writes kendall: “i guess it’s their passive-aggressive way of saying, ‘take fewer napkins, a**hole!’”
a tip for would-be internet meme-mongers: as of this writing, algoreknowshowmanynapkinsyoutake.com is still available. (what are you waiting for? apparently, [...]
Tags: "customer service" · guilt trip · illinois · politics · shameless meme-mongering · the earth
american analog threat
July 20th, 2008 · 187 Comments
the manager of a florida preschool seems to have a kindred spirit at a missouri strip club, where our anonymous submitter spotted this note taped to a dressing-room mirror.
personally, i like the idea of an junior-high-elective-style employment program. (dance? restaurant management? government? you decide!)
related: happy to be of service
Tags: "helpful" advice · mcdonalds · missouri · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · visual aids
a deep-seated issue
July 17th, 2008 · 614 Comments
marcus in leicester, u.k. found this stuck to the lid of the toilet by one of his housemates. “i’d understand if it was the seat,” he says, “but the lid?”
i’m with marcus, here — i don’t think this is some kind of dear abby “does the toilet paper go over or under?” type issue. is [...]
Tags: "helpful" advice · "up for debate" · etiquette · leicester · toilet · u.k.
i do, however, have a very charming coat rack
July 17th, 2008 · 150 Comments
christoph found this polite and friendly note on the door of his apartment in san francisco. a reasonable enough request, to be sure, except for the fact that — despite his neighbor’s claimed omniscience — “i don’t own any exercise equipment.”
(admits christoph: “it was likely a swivel chair…and my habit of rolling back and forth [...]
Tags: a little patronizing · irregular capitalization · neighbors · noise · san francisco · washington
“when the people fear their government, there is tyranny.”
July 16th, 2008 · 201 Comments
writes an anonymous federal employee in colorado: “this morning we were reminded via an office-wide email that we must comply with the official timekeeping rules.”
that means recording the correct time on our time sheets, not being absent during core hours without submitting a leave slip, not being off campus except for lunch hour or approved [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · colorado · fired · meta · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · office · the government
sincerely, mr. ed
July 15th, 2008 · 135 Comments
our anonymous submitter in california — pleading innocence — says she was singled-out with this note in a barn that houses 60 other horses and their hay.
this note’s lack of obvious sitcom-ish puns — with the exception of “breeding good vibes” — makes me think that maybe i’ve been doing this too long…or perhaps that [...]
Tags: i'm telling on you! · karma's a bitch · los angeles · stealing
garçon à la pipe?
July 13th, 2008 · 143 Comments
this masterpiece is a gift from the collection of zedral (morgantown, west virginia, 2008). the original installation also includes a trail of small arrows pointing customers toward the register, along with multiple post-it reiterations along the way.
related: ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · morgantown · retail hell
so many questions
July 10th, 2008 · 185 Comments
what kind of objectionable trash do you suppose is being disposed of in these bins? (half-eaten curries? yesterday’s times?) how many hours of company time did the sign’s designer spend on this full-color laminated masterpiece? what is that comma doing there? and how, exactly, how are these bins to be monitored?
related: servicing over a half-billion [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · bathroom · clip art catastrophe · garbage · ireland · now that's management · office
sheena is a paintballer
July 9th, 2008 · 178 Comments
where do you suppose this “anomous” tampa, florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?
interested? here’s a free preview!
related: your to lazy
Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy! · florida · gloriously redundant · irregular capitalization · kids today · moms & dads · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · tampa · the lawn · unnecessary "quotation marks"
the womb that would birth a thousand excuses
July 8th, 2008 · 212 Comments
the most irritating part of finding this note propped on her keyboard, says jackie in philly, is that she wasn’t the person who requested dark chocolate in the office vending machine. “in fact, i can’t stand the stuff!” (in that case…hello, shower gift?)
related: bun — er, — pizza in the oven
Tags: office · philadelphia · preggers · smiley
there will come soft pains
July 7th, 2008 · 239 Comments
this bit of poetry is brought to us by alex in vancouver, an innocent observer on the scene.
Tags: drizzunk · noise · roommates · sleeping · thanks (but not really) · vancouver

