an official declaration of the silent treatment

July 1st, 2008 · 348 comments

nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from saskatoon to victoria, canada…and have been shacking up with nadia and her boyfriend since then. over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.

“we had to send a stray cat she was harboring to a friend’s house temporarily (my allergies were killing me!),” nadia says, and amy proceeded to pout for three days straight. a minor-blow out ensued, which was then followed by this untitled composition. nadia and her boyfriend are scheduled to move out on wednesday.
an official declaration of the silent treatment

UPDATE: adds nadia: “a friend of mine (B.A. in professional writing and linguistics) and i (a high school science and math teacher with a zoology degree and a B.Ed. corrected all of the mistakes in the letter.” then, fighting ire with ire, they posted it on the fridge.

an officially revised declaration of the silent treatment

related: nice move

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FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · TLDR · canada · family · p.s. · roommates · saskatoon · spelling and grammar police


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348 responses so far ↓

  • #1   zombieBlanco

    Dear Amy,

    As a personal opinion you should eat s**t and die.

    Nadia

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:12 pm   rating: +18  

    • #1.1   zombieBlanco

                                            a later date

      Dear Amy,
      I’m sorry about my first note. That was the old immature, rude, malicious, disrespectful, slobby, belittling, manipulative, bitchy me. What I really meant to say was:

      Thanks for the silent treatment!!! Ever since you stopped talking to me, things have been soo much nicer around here!!!

      ♥ ♥ ♥ Nadia ♥ ♥ ♥

      Jul 2, 2008 at 11:04 am   rating: +20  

       
    • #1.2   agatha christie

      I honest to God thought I was the only person who ever told others to “eat sh*t and die”. I’m not the only one!

      Jul 2, 2008 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #1.3   Total Douche

      I’ve been saying that since the early 80’s!

      Jul 2, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.4   Elizabeth

      Nadia, you need help. Do you have a job, or is your self-assigned job picking on Amy? Amy, good for you for getting out.

      Jul 21, 2008 at 5:15 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #1.5   Steph

      Seriously, Nadia somehow managed to use passiveaggressivenotes.com to be… well, even more passive-aggressive. Correcting the grammar and posting it back on the fridge was also a genius passive-aggressive move on her part. She doubled the passivity and the aggression of the original passive aggressive note.

      Jul 22, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #1.6   PandoraWombat

      I have to admit this really made me laugh. A long time ago I got some bulk mail from some right-wing politician asking people to sign a petition requiring English to be the “official” language of the United States. Whether or not one agrees with this sentiment, I thought the most delicious part was that this letter was peppered with the most amazing grammatical and spelling errors (to this day, I wished I had made a copy of it)!

      So I did what any healthy passive-aggresive would do — I marked up the mistakes on the letter with a red pen, then mailed it back accompanied by a note suggesting that perhaps he should learn English before he expects others to do so.

      Passive-aggressive extra credit: I mailed it back using his enclosed postage-guaranteed business reply envelope. Tee hee.

      Aug 2, 2008 at 1:12 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #1.7   MAMARILLA2

      The terrible truth is that this is far too common. English is now a second language behind illiterate.

      Aug 17, 2008 at 11:42 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #2   Delurker

    Amy’s sense of compassion and lack of understanding of grammar are humbling. Really, she’s just looking out for Nadia’s best interest here. Right? Amy your special (your special what, I don’t know, but your special something for sure).

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: +34  

    • #2.1   se

      she is so special that they named an Olympics after her…

      Jul 1, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: +9  

       
    • #2.2   HS

      correction:
      she is soo special…

      Jul 2, 2008 at 2:56 pm   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #3   john

    wow. just wow.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: +3  

    • #3.1   Jason

      Amy is the immature one. I cant imagine that anyone would send that letter to another person, it sounds like the fights my sister has with her 8th grade friends.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 3:12 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #4   Sarah

    Fun Fact: If the words in this note were stacked on top of each other, they would be visible from Alpha Centauri.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:20 pm   rating: +21  

    • #4.1   Aijaz

      Yes, but how many Libraries of Congress is that?

      Jul 2, 2008 at 8:22 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #4.2   Mark

      Ah, the LOC, slashdot’s information metric of choice. Greetings fellow nerd!

      Jul 2, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #5   anglophile

    For someone who doesn’t want to speak to Nadia anymore, Amy sure has a lot to say.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:23 pm   rating: +69  

    • #5.1   cre8tivewmn

      I guess she has to get it all in now.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #6   Al

    Why do people creating these printed missives always amend them in pen? Do they not have access to a second piece of paper to re-print it with the edits?

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: +31  

    • #6.1   Sarah

      It looks like she used a typewriter, and those things are a PAIN. I wouldn’t re-print something.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:10 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #6.2   Joe

      If it was a typewriter, it’s an electronic one that can save and title documents. I guess she must have deleted the file after she printed it out for that typewriter theory to work?

      Edit: I finally read further in the comments. Duh, of course it’s Notepad. I should have realized that sooner.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 12:07 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #7   Kristen

    Amy, she’s all about the “others.” Give that girl the Nobel Peace Prize. Or alert Jack Shephard. Or both.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: +20  

    • #7.1   Bunnee

      Yay for the reference to “Lost”!!! (I’m jonesing for it….)

      Jul 2, 2008 at 12:37 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.2   zoe

      Dude, I totally thought of lost the moment I read the name.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #8   Peter

    Amy needs a grammar lesson. One slip-up is okay, but the number of times she wrote “your” instead of “you’re” tells me that she has no idea of the difference between the two.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: +10  

    • #8.1   zombieBlanco

      Amy constructed this sentence-

      “I dont associate with individuals who express such immature behavior, especially at your age.”

      The difference between your/you’re is the least of her troubles.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: +23  

       
    • #8.2   debbysue

      Are you meaning especially at you are (you’re)age? If it’s (it is) your’s than it belongs to you. If you’re (you are) writing your (what came from you, belonging to you) grammer correctly.

      Where’s (where is) MISHEE for the attack? ;)

      Jul 1, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.3   amazon

      Don’t be mean, maybe they speak another language in Saskatoon, where your and you’re ARE interchangeable!

      Jul 1, 2008 at 11:57 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #8.4   abeliever

      For a while I thought the apostrophe key was broken: your…its…cousins….but oh no… I’m comes back with a vengeance to save the day.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 12:18 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #8.5   Sue Do Nim

      Your’s? That doesn’t exist. The possessive is yours. And it’s then, not than.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 3:06 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #8.6   El

      Furthermore, it is spelt grammar.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 9:04 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #8.7   Mishee

      debbysue - I don’t see anything on the note about getting her toes licked by a Siberian Husky, having a threesome with her chiropractor and his girlfriend, or waking up with whiplash - so I am thinking there is no reason for me to “attack”…

      Jul 2, 2008 at 9:18 am   rating: +16  

       
    • #8.8   Sirius

      Troublemaker, thy name is Mishee :)

      Jul 2, 2008 at 10:01 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #8.9   Canthz_B

      “your’s than”?

      A short poem:
      Debbysue,
      Buy a clue.

      Jul 5, 2008 at 12:45 am   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #9   se

    Amy,
    simple solution..
    Get your own place. Move the fuck out.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 9:51 pm   rating: +33  

    • #9.1   debbysue

      I think Amy moved in on her cousin and Nadia and now Nadia and the boyfriend moved out because of Amy.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 11:48 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #10   class-factotum

    Did she write that thing on a typewriter? Who has a typewriter any more? I could never find one at work when I need to make just one or two labels.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: +1  

    • #10.1   anglophile

      I think she used WordPad, which is pretty much the equivalent of using a typewriter.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:11 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #10.2   Sarah

      WordPad is awesome, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

      But it doesn’t use typewriter font by default.

      Jul 1, 2008 at 10:52 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #10.3   Mark

      It’s Notepad. Even more primitive than Wordpad. It prints with courier by default. And the “untitled” at the top indicates that Amy didn’t save the note before she printed it.

      Oops, looks like #22 beat me to it.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 12:03 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #10.4   class-factotum

      Oops. I meant “needed” to make one or two labels. That’s what I get for not editing.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 9:13 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #10.5   zoe

      One time, I was babysitting, and the kid found a typewriter in the free pile at a yard sale, and I wanted that typewriter SO BADLY, but he had dibs, and he took it home and proceeded to use it as a garden planter. A part of me died that day.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 4:27 pm   rating: +11  

       
    • #10.6   unholyghost2003

      Who are you? David Sedaris?

      Jul 2, 2008 at 4:43 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #10.7   SheepFugue

      What kind of kid is mature enough to make garden planters out of household objects but still needs to be babysat?

      Jul 4, 2008 at 12:54 pm   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #11   alie

    oh dear, oh dear, poor little victim amy. and how special that she can diagnose nadia with so many character defects in such a short period of time. i wish i had such esp, er, discerning skills. i’m a bit worried about carl though. i see you went out of your way to mention that carl liked nadia ‘as a friend’. hmmmm, interesting, no?

    nadia, no good deed goes unpunished, eh?

    Jul 1, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: +8  

     
  • #12   loudQUIETloud

    I love the “I don’t know if you have a problem with women or are intimidated by me or envious of me” bit. In addition to all her other obvious faults, Amy’s *that* female, the one who believes that if another woman doesn’t like her, it’s because that woman is jealous of her or can’t get along with other women. Pot kettle black.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 10:09 pm   rating: +44  

     
  • #13   temporaryennui

    all i can think if when i read this letter is that it’s “you’re,” damn.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: +7  

    • #13.1   snee

      that missing apostrophe was fucking delicious!

      Jul 2, 2008 at 3:12 am   rating: +9  

       
    • #13.2   RunBarbara

      snee, i sentence you to three hours in the Unitard.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 10:20 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #13.3   Mishee

      RB - 3 is good for “fucking delicious” (a non funny one) but I think 5-10 hours is good for anyone who does a THX SANDRA note….

      Jul 2, 2008 at 10:22 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #13.4   RunBarbara

      And so, the Unitard order was decreed. Henceforth anyone who shall make a non-funny (as deemed by those who are funny) “fucking delicious” joke shall be placed inside the Unitard for three hours. Any use of “THX SANDRA” (unless by Casey in Human Resources; i.e, me) will be placed in the Unitard for no less than five and no more than ten hours. Each reference counts as a separate, but equal, infraction. Punishment shall be swift.
      I swear this on the Great Albino Python.

      Jul 2, 2008 at 10:27 am   rating: +19  

       
    • #13.5   unshiftmethod

      I do not want to see photos of this punishment being carried out…

      Jul 2, 2008 at 10:49 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #13.6   Mishee

      unsiftmethod - Well, Troy McClure actually took the time to bring the vison alive for all to see….

      Jul 2, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #13.7   Mark

      Oooh, the infringer “shall be placed in the Unitard.” Who’s going to do the placing? The python? Or you, RB? Either way, it sounds kinda sexy…

      Jul 2, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #13.8   Mishee

      Well Mark - we are just getting the “kinks” hammered out - sounds like you are applying for the job!

      You’re hired!!

      Jul 2, 2008 at 11:01 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #13.9   bob

      Crap… I just spent last week fashioning my own matching unitard and cape outfit. Now you’re telling me it’s a sign of dishonor?

      Jul 2, 2008 at 11:08 am   rating: +12  

       
    • #13.10   Bunnee

      I believe I was the last one to have to wear the Unitard and I have kept it safe. Should I pass it along to Snee?

      Jul 2, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #13.11   Will It Work

      I mean, I know sauce, but every time I see ‘fucking delicious’, I can’t help but to think I’d really rather fuck ma.gnolia, it’s far more pretty and appreciative of my needs, if not as popular.

      Jul 8, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #13.12   glastonberry

      methinks RunBarbara has spent a little too much time on here…

      Jul 8, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #13.13   Mishee

      methinks you should keep your effin fat mouth shut and leave RB alone before you find yourself at the bottom of a particularly nasty dogpile…

      Jul 8, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #13.14   Canthz_B

      Any relation to Frankenberry?
      There is a resemblance in the intellect dept.

      Jul 8, 2008 at 6:49 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #13.15   Mark

      I wouldn’t mind being at the bottom of a dogpile consisting of RB and Mishee…

      But I guess that’s Claw’s place. I will not interfere with the albino python. Even if it is placing the unitard on me.

      Jul 8, 2008 at 6:51 pm   r