I asked Santa for a Baby Alive, and all I got was this stupid dishwasher

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When dishwashers speak

July 2nd, 2008 · 147 comments

I didn’t think i’d ever see a kitchen appliance more inappropriately anthropomorphized than this fridge, but I think this dishwasher note (from an anonymous submitter in England) dials the WTF-factor up to 11.

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · bold-underlined-caps · CAPS LOCK · dishes · dishwasher · mixed metaphors · sad face · shit · U.K. · WTF?

147 responses so far ↓

#1 Celia

Wow, that makes me sad. The fact that the underline after “Shit out” goes under the space… That’s kinda annoying.
I really don’t like when people are always anthropomorphizing things… especially appliances.

But I am Glad that the dishwasher thinks dishes are yummy.

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:02 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #1.1 Mishee
  
  I just wonder why the word SHIT is red, not BROWN…. that’s how I would’ve done it if I had written the note…
  
  Jul 2, 2008 at 11:18 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 djr
  
  Yeah, you shouldn’t anthropomorphize appliances… they really hate that.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:23 am rating: 90
- #1.3 Kev Orng
  
  Thinking back on some of my roommates; they believed everything the TV told them, so why not the dishwasher?
  
  It’s just not right to obey the commands of one appliance and not listen to the requests of the others.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:43 am rating: 90
- #1.4 D / DM
  
  @Mishee:
  
  I’m pretty sure if I SHIT OUT clean dishes, I’d have some bleeding… maybe that’s it.
  
  Mar 20, 2009 at 4:30 pm rating: 90
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#2 zombieBlanco

I’m confused- is it the dirty plates that are yummy or the clean shat out ones?

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:06 pm rating: 90

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- #2.1 secondsout
  
  Remind me not to eat off the dishes in this guy’s house.
  
  Jul 2, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: 90
- #2.2 canadalicious
  
  It’s ok to eat at his house. The plates that the dishwasher shits out are clean! Or so he says…
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:09 am rating: 90
- #2.3 amazon
  
  mmm… shitting out clean dishes… appetizing!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:17 am rating: 90
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#3 Mishee

My husband seems to think that if he doesn’t load me up with dishes to wash, I also will cry…

Wrong!

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:08 pm rating: 90

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#4 Mishee

Well, that explains why the British have the teeth they have… they’ve been eating dishes!

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:10 pm rating: 90

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- #4.1 secondsout
  
  It beats eating haggis.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:00 am rating: 90
- #4.2 zombieBlanco
  
  Perhaps eating dishes is also based on a dare?
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:07 am rating: 90
- #4.3 jenzoid
  
  Those shitty plates are delicious……….
  
  Jul 7, 2008 at 3:14 am rating: 90
- #4.4 tomservo
  
  FYI – HAGGIS IS EATIN IN “SCOTLAND”. DOWN IN ENGLAND WE EAT “PROPER” FOOD.
  
  THX SANDRA
  
  Jul 8, 2008 at 3:46 pm rating: 90
- #4.5 Canthz_B
  
  Like Bubble and Squeak?
  
  Jul 8, 2008 at 3:54 pm rating: 90
- #4.6 PandoraWombat
  
  What about Great Big Spotted Dick?
  
  Aug 2, 2008 at 12:47 pm rating: 90
- #4.7 MAMARILLA2
  
  What about toad in the hole?
  
  Aug 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm rating: 90
- #4.8 Fat Mack
  
  What about the plump roast chicken with fruit (a/k/a the cheeky young bird with a nice pear)?
  
  BTW: Haggis is delicious and wholesome. Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.
  
  Jan 10, 2010 at 8:37 pm rating: 90
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#5 zombieBlanco

♪ never stop

If you load me up
If you load me up I’ll always eat

If you load me up
If you load me up I’ll always eat

I’ve been cleaning plates
You got me shitting gonna shit clean plates

If you load me up
If you load me up I’ll always eat

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 90

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- #5.1 aaa
  
  Personally, I was thinking of something along the lines of “Load me up before you go go.” But then I remembered Wham is for losers and started thinking about manlier music like GWAR.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: 90
- #5.2 Mark
  
  What would Oderus Ungerus and Balzac the Jaws of Death think of being called “manly”? They hate mankind!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:42 am rating: 90
- #5.3 Mishee
  
  “balzac”
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:53 am rating: 90
- #5.4 optimismopski
  
  Sexcuse me- but I believe that GWAR would be able to solve the case of the crying dishwasher; just as they suggest putting money under the soap as a way of hiding money from hippies, perhaps the writer of the note should hide the dirty dishes under the dishwasher soap as well? Maybe it would end the need for the dishwasher to be so anal explosive.
  If GWAR is not available for comment, THX SANDRA might be able to refer him/her to CASEY IN HUMAN RESOURCES, for the low price of $5, for parameters about what to do in case the dishwasher has a BIG JOB.
  
  Jul 11, 2008 at 12:14 pm rating: 90
- #5.5 optimismopski
  
  Unfortunately for me, it seems I may end up having to wear the beloved unitard, as I inadvertently made a THX SANDRA reference without realizing there was a decree made days ago that i missed on the next post! That is what I get for falling behind on my PAN notes! I shall wear it with pride, if in fact the funny-powers-that-be feel I am worthy enough.
  
  Jul 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm rating: 90
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#6 Sarah

Unfortunate line break after “shit”.

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:29 pm rating: 90

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#7 ALA

I’m a little dishwasher, short & stout
Here is my do-or, I have no spout
Put the dirty dishes in & I’ll shit them out
So fill me up or watch me pout

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:34 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #7.1 Christy
  
  I think I love you.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 1:14 am rating: 90
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#8 John in IL

If my appliances are shitting anything, I call a repairman. I don’t write a shitty note.

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:47 pm rating: 90

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#9 catherine

wtf. seriously! this is the worst passive aggressive “do the dishes” note ever, because a) it’s gross (mmm I love eating what another thing has shit out!) and b) it’s not like the dishwasher is the only way to do dishes. I would like to slap the author of this note.

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:49 pm rating: 90

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- #9.1 cre8tivewmn
  
  I agree. Just gross. Plus, it eats and shits out of the same door?
  
  If I thought my dishwasher was shitting out my dishes, I’d let the dog wash them.
  
  If I were insane enough to write such a p/a note, I’d say “I eat the left-over food and then rinse your dishes clean.”
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 8:33 am rating: 90
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#10 Canthz_B

Diner: Excuse me waiter, my dish is dirty.

Waiter: Impossible! The dishwasher just shit that out.

Diner: Hmmph! Check Please!

Jul 2, 2008 at 11:52 pm rating: 90

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- #10.1 Amanda
  
  The past tense of shit is “shat.”
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 3:00 pm rating: 90
- #10.2 Canthz_B
  
  No. It’s not. Nor is it shitted.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 11:32 pm rating: 90
- #10.3 Canthz_B
  
  I suppose you can use “”shat” according to urbandictionary.com:
  
  —shat 127 up, 26 down
  Past tense of shit
  Shitted is not a word
  Shit can also be used as a past tense word
  
  But, “shit” is also correct in past tense use, so don’t correct me, okay?
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:05 am rating: 90
- #10.4 Burghardt
  
  This gives William Shatner a whole new dimension. Shat-tastic!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 4:44 am rating: 90
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#11 Canthz_B

Plate shitting is a hell of a trick, but let’s see the flatware!

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:00 am rating: 90

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#12 Bikerbabee

Capitals, underlining, smiley faces.. they only left out pink penises and hearts!

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: 90

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- #12.1 aaa
  
  I think they need rainbow font and glitter, too. References to Jesus and claims of not being their mother would also be appropriate.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: 90
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#13 Canthz_B

I’d hate to point out the obvious but…those plates were fucking delicious!

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: 90

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- #13.1 Brian
  
  Aww, man! JUST beat me to it.
  
  In any case, on a scale of Scary 1-10, where 1 is a dark room and 10 is a bad LSD trip? I’d give it a Gary Busey.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:17 am rating: 90
- #13.2 Canthz_B
  
  A time and a place for every thing, my friend!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:19 am rating: 90
- #13.3 Mike
  
  OK, so what cultural reference am I missing with regards to the “fucking delicious” line that appears on every posting?
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 1:20 am rating: 90
- #13.4 Lo
  
  Look to the right side of the screen and you should see a green box titled “greatest hits”. Click the link called “fucking delicious” and enjoy.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 1:43 am rating: 90
- #13.5 ALA
  
  Every family has an odd tradition or twelve…this is one of ours.
  See “Fucking Delicious” in the Greatest Hits section above/right. There was a fucking delicious crazy obsession for awhile (being first to use it was quite the coup), so we had a brief moratorium on the use of the phrase; breaking the moratorium got you the Unitard (see Greatest Hits). We’re now using the phrase again, but less obsessively.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 1:44 am rating: 90
- #13.6 ALA
  
  Sorry, Lo!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 1:45 am rating: 90
- #13.7 Crash
  
  Damn…
  You covered the Unitard, Fucking Delicious, and you also said “first” and I think you were the first to say that too
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:35 am rating: 90
- #13.8 Mike
  
  Thank you Lo and ALA!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 3:33 am rating: 90
- #13.9 Mike
  
  Oh, and Outback bread really is fucking delicious.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 3:34 am rating: 90
- #13.10 grumpygranolagirl
  
  Speaking of PAN’s greatest hits, I can’t read an inter-office memo or listen to anything our admin people say without thinking to myself: “Please see Casey in Human Resources. THX Sandra.”
  
  I’m probably going to show-up at the office wearing a Mongolian BBQ hat very soon.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 7:37 am rating: 90
- #13.11 Quite Contrary
  
  Another PAN effect is the blinking timer on the microwave. To clear or not to clear?
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 9:02 am rating: 90
- #13.12 Captain OCD
  
  After I read that one, I began to notice that my co-workers fail to clear the display from time to time. No notes. I just get up and do it myself.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:19 am rating: 90
- #13.13 changeling
  
  we have several of the “your mother doesn’t work here” notes but some of them have (most of you) added to the phrase. we had several mother /child relatives working here, but most of the mothers quit. The latest note doesn’t reference the mother that still works here. I snicker every time I see that one
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 4:45 pm rating: 90
- #13.14 Canthz_B
  
  Don’t forget “This one time at band camp…”
  
  Another great PAN tradition.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 2:44 am rating: 90
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#14 RALPHY

Kinda reminds me of “The Little House of Horrors” except it had no point.

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:13 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #14.1 Canthz_B
  
  At least Audrey II didn’t think her shit didn’t stink!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:17 am rating: 90
- #14.2 Sarah
  
  You mean the Little Shop of Horrors. The House of Horrors belongs to Hugo.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
- #14.3 bellabeastie
  
  Ralphy = spellink impaired
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 2:07 am rating: 90
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#15 Canthz_B

Every time I try to put a load into my dishwasher my wife gets angry.
Of course my dishwasher is an exchange student from the Philippines, but she says it’s yummy!

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:13 am rating: 90

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- #15.1 Numinous
  
  Now I’ve got a new innuendo stuck in my head.
  
  “Hey, wanna play dishwasher?”
  
  Problem is, no one outside this group will get it.
  *sigh* I’ll never look at a dishwasher the same way again.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:49 am rating: 90
- #15.2 amazon
  
  Innuendo?
  
  “I want you bad in my endo… I’m talking about you nailing my butt.”
  
  http://thespinningkick.multiply.com/video/item/139
  
  *sigh* back when SNL was still funny.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:38 pm rating: 90
- #15.3 WhyAren'tUDeadYet
  
  Hmm. I thought your wife was dead. Must have read that wrong. Hey, whatever. Do carry on. Not that you need MY encouragement…
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:28 am rating: 90
- #15.4 Canthz_B
  
  That’s why they call it fiction, or did I miss the oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth when I put together a joke?
  
  I confess, I don’t really have an exchange student to do my dishes!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:57 am rating: 90
- #15.5 Mishee
  
  Yes CB I believe you… I know that you’ve got an illegal alien, not an exchange student!!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 10:51 am rating: 90
- #15.6 Canthz_B
  
  How did you find out, Mishee?
  I specifically instructed her to not leave the crawl space if the curtains were not drawn!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 2:43 pm rating: 90
- #15.7 Mishee
  
  Well CB next time you leave the house, you should disconnect your internet then!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 4:16 pm rating: 90
- #15.8 Canthz_B
  
  Why that little minx!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 10:15 pm rating: 90
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#16 aaa

What? Where the hell did they get such a fun dishwasher? Mine just sits there and stares at me like it hates me. :/

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:21 am rating: 90

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- #16.1 Quite Contrary
  
  Like it hates you?
  
  It does hate you.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:23 am rating: 90
- #16.2 cre8tivewmn
  
  It does hate you. It told Amy all about you.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: 90
- #16.3 bellabeastie
  
  sheesh.
  Dear Nadia –
  Please return the cat and the security deposit we gave to you. You are slobby and nasty and henceforth you must leave the premises. However, you will be allowed to visit Carl who will be on the third floor surfing the Internet in his underwear. Good luck — love you to pieces !! Amy
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 2:18 am rating: 90
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#17 Quite Contrary

I’m trying to figure out who the asspanda is. The writer of the note or the dishwasher that thinks it is cute and funny.

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: 90

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- #17.1 aaa
  
  I think the only innocents in this apartment are the plates that aren’t being eaten and shat out. They clearly aren’t able to fulfill their duty in facilitating dishwasher digestion. This, of course, is something that Jesus and your mother disapprove of.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:32 am rating: 90
- #17.2 Bellabeastie
  
  eeek. This note freaks me out. And it has been there for a while – notice how it’s ripped at the top. I guess if you live with something long enough you begin not to notice it. I think I’m all for:
  
  Team Get Carry-OUt
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 11:53 am rating: 90
- #17.3 Qwerty
  
  The asspanda is definitely the note-writer. Team Unfortunate Appliances.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 4:31 pm rating: 90
- #17.4 bellabeastie
  
  Like Beauty and the Beast. Enchanted people turned into Appliances. Or candlesticks and clocks and dressers. Or teapots and teacups and plates.
  
  Wolves if you’re really bad. But sadly wolves won’t do your dishes. However, they will eat them – (only if they can’t eat You).
  
  God only knows what condition they’ll be in when they shit them out.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:34 am rating: 90
- #17.5 Bikerbabee
  
  Ha Ha.. he said asspanda!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:44 am rating: 90
- #17.6 tomservo
  
  Asspanda…fuckin A!
  
  Jul 8, 2008 at 3:49 pm rating: 90
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#18 Canthz_B

Now if we could just get the damned thing to eat dirty plates and shit out clean fifties we’d be in business!

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: 90

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#19 Canthz_B

To the tune of Teach Me Tonight :

Did you say I’m trying not to wash?
Well, don’t think I’m trying not to wash,
Since this is the perfect spot to wash,
Feed me tonight.

Let’s start with the breakfast plates of it,
Add in the dinner plates of it,
Help me free up your mate from it,
Feed me tonight.

The sink’s a basin,
High above me,
On the counter top so high.
Go use that sink,
Pre-rinse the dishes,
So I can get off burned on pie!

These glass dishes don’t look clean to me.
There is no Jet-Dri inside of me.
The rinse cycle’s taking over me.
Feed me tonight.

Go use that sink,
Pre-rinse the dishes,
So I can get off burned on pie!

These glass dishes don’t look clean to me.
There is no Jet-Dri inside of me.
The rinse cycle’s taking over me.
Feed me,
Please feed me tonight.

Jul 3, 2008 at 1:18 am rating: 90

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- #19.1 Canthz_B
  
  Damn…”Help me to free up your mate from it.” was supposed to be the line!
  
  Sorry for the missed syllable.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 1:35 am rating: 90
- #19.2 WhyAren'tUDeadYet
  
  Not that anyone noticed…
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: 90
- #19.3 bellabeastie
  
  Why aren’t you DeadYet? Douchebag lost his sense of humor in the recycling where you were lying next to the empty cat food cans?
  
  heart you, CB
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:41 am rating: 90
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#20 Sheepish

*sounds of mechanical tears are coming from the kitchen*
“please stop crying dishwasher, I just gave you a load of dishes.”
*appliance continues to sob*
“I can’t help it if you want more; you’re going to have to wait for after dinner.”
*starts to pout and slams its door*
“Now you listen to me, if Fridge can wait for a few days with mouldy leftovers and expired milk before I clean it out then you should be more like him and learn some patience.”
*Fridge opens and closes its door in a gloating way*
*Microwave blinks the leftover time cheekily*
“If you don’t start behaving, Dishwasher, I’ll give you something to cry about”

Jul 3, 2008 at 9:49 am rating: 90

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- #20.1 Quite Contrary
  
  Is there some sort of Alanon program for appliances in your neighborhood?
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 10:22 am rating: 90
- #20.2 Kev Orng
  
  I think the talking stove from Flight of the Conchords could probably help your dishwasher.
  
  http://youtube.com/watch?v=-Zzh79J2fC0
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:13 pm rating: 90
- #20.3 Sheepish
  
  Kev, I’m in love with you.
  I’m also in love with Flight of the Conchords.
  And I’m in love with my new shoes.
  I love the sunshine.
  I love PAN.
  I’m just full of love today.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:54 pm rating: 90
- #20.4 bellabeastie
  
  And that’s what makes the world go ’round. “I’d like to make the World to sing in perfect harmony…” That won’t happen.
  But maybe treat yourself to a Coke amyway…
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:51 am rating: 90
- #20.5 Kev Orng
  
  Awww… let’s make a cake!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 7:54 am rating: 90
- #20.6 grumpygranolagirl
  
  Will there be fruit with the cake?
  
  Some people like fruit, some people like cake.
  
  Maybe I should see Casey in Human Resources?
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 11:13 am rating: 90
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#21 Jaybird

Eating dirty plates and shitting clean ones is quite the party trick….. I would pay to see that.

Jul 3, 2008 at 9:57 am rating: 90

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- #21.1 pers
  
  I’d pay double to see that!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 11:17 am rating: 90
- #21.2 Canthz_B
  
  Yes double. see #11.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 1:50 pm rating: 90
- #21.3 WhyAren'tUDeadYet
  
  …not that #11 has ANYTHING to do with #21, but whatever. If it’s not all about Canthz B he’ll MAKE it all about him.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:31 am rating: 90
- #21.4 Canthz_B
  
  With your loving help to bring me the attention I so desperately crave!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 1:03 am rating: 90
- #21.5 bellabeastie
  
  Is there a backstory here? Seems a little Harsh… I’m trying to play nice — sorta–
  
  In Review:
  But #11 seems to not have much in common with #21 … Why don’t you get your head out of your asspanda. Please.
  
  Lookie — I said please.
  
  Thx –( oh don’t make me say it…)
  SANDRA
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 1:04 am rating: 90
- #21.6 bellabeastie
  
  CB — this wasn’t meant for you– so you know. Meant for:
  The Other One Who’s Dissin’ You
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 1:12 am rating: 90
- #21.7 Sirius
  
  CB has a gay drunk stalker
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 1:13 am rating: 90
- #21.8 bellabeastie
  
  LOLOLOLOL…
  Fer sure….
  
  (Must gather the wagons and rally ’round the troops)
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 1:55 am rating: 90
- #21.9 snee
  
  wow, there goes another gay drunk stalker. soon there’ll be none left for me.
  
  Jul 5, 2008 at 4:24 am rating: 90
- #21.10 Jaybird
  
  guess I should have read the previous posts
  
  Jul 10, 2008 at 10:57 am rating: 90
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#22 Kev Orng

If I had had a dishwasher when I was living with roommates, there would have been no excuse for not doing dishes.

I never left notes about dirty dishes though, i just moved the pile to their bedrooms.

Jul 3, 2008 at 10:22 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #22.1 Mishee
  
  Kev, and you think doing that wasn’t passive aggressive?
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 10:55 am rating: 90
- #22.2 ALA
  
  He never said it wasn’t PA, it’s just not a PAN!
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 1:47 pm rating: 90
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#23 DanOhh

“I was just goin’ to leave my dishes out because this was such a dumb note BUT then I saw that sad face at the end and I must obey.”

Jul 3, 2008 at 11:11 am rating: 90

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#24 Cowgirlgraphics

My hubby call our mobile dishwasher “that square thing in the kitchen.” It’s a basic male refusal to recognize an appliance that gives me so much joy. But with the recent news of the possiblity of it shitting clean plates, I think I’m going to cry.

Jul 3, 2008 at 11:47 am rating: 90

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- #24.1 Kev Orng
  
  There must be something wrong with me… am I the only husband who does the dishes?
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 11:57 am rating: 90
- #24.2 Mark
  
  Nope, I do too. That’s one of the chores that my wife and I split pretty much 50/50.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:04 pm rating: 90
- #24.3 Nicole
  
  I am the only one whose husband does all the dishes and all the laundry? Probably.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:27 pm rating: 90
- #24.4 Mark
  
  I do all the laundry, about half the dishes, all the vacuuming/dusting, clean my own bathroom, take out trash/recycle (she usually just chucks empty boxes on the floor and I have to decide whether it’s a cat toy or recycling), water plants, mow the lawn. Probably other stuff I’m not thinking of, too.
  
  Meh, enough whining.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:41 pm rating: 90
- #24.5 Quite Contrary
  
  My best friend calls the stove ” that big box that gets hot.” I use his stove more than he does.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 12:48 pm rating: 90
- #24.6 amazon
  
  Nope. My bf does all the dishes in our apt. We used to split the chores 50/50, but then we realized that I hate the daily stuff, like dishes, and he hate’s the monthly “deep cleaning” stuff, like vaccumming and cleaning the bathroom. We do the laundry together.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:46 pm rating: 90
- #24.7 cre8tivewmn
  
  My hubby does all the dishes and most of the laundry.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:48 pm rating: 90
- #24.8 Sheepish
  
  My fiance does all the dishes and laundry… I’ve been warned that this may change when we get married Nov 2009. But really, we’ve been living together for 3 years and it hasn’t changed yet.
  
  I have also been warned that after we’re married the beatings will start.
  
  (I know that domestic abuse shouldn’t be funny but it kind’a is)
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 3:02 pm rating: 90
- #24.9 changeling
  
  kids do the dishes AND laundry HA HA HA we’re starting to teach my son to do the bathroom so I get to spend all my time here with you guys reading the PAN site
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 4:35 pm rating: 90
- #24.10 Quite Contrary
  
  Since I have decorative towels, I live alone. Therefore, I do all the dishes and the laundry.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 4:49 pm rating: 90
- #24.11 Cowgirlgraphics
  
  I never realized how important it would be for my other half to be able to do half of the work around the house … instead in his off-hours he pursues his hobby – farming. HAY is not fucking delicious unless you are a horse.
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 9:47 pm rating: 90
- #24.12 bellabeastie
  
  OK — I have a fucking delicious boyfriend and we have opposite schedules. AND I usually work 14 hr. days, so does he. So when we are – we ARE.
  
  And I could give a flying fuck about the dishes. *snicker* Does anyone know a good cleaning person?
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:13 am rating: 90
- #24.13 Bikerbabee
  
  My kids do all the chores,
  the only thing my husband and I clean is our room.
  He stays home with the kids too.. I am so lucky I only clean when I want to! I even trained my teens to be pretty good bartenders.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:50 am rating: 90
- #24.14 harmonicpies
  
  My man had a similar problem with my appliances, but I realized he was just feeling jealous and inadequate. Now we use the appliances together, and they bring us both much joy.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 12:08 pm rating: 90
- #24.15 Canthz_B
  
  Team do it atop the washing machine on spin cycle!
  
  Keep all of the other good vibrations away from me! LOL
  
  Jul 5, 2008 at 12:56 am rating: 90
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#25 Mustang Sally

No wonder all those dirty dishes were in the back bathroom!

Jul 3, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 90

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#26 Nicole

Are you sure you aren’t my husband Mark? Lol
I should add that he gets paid full time and only works about 5 hours a day. I work more at the office and he works more at home. Seems fair to me.

Jul 3, 2008 at 1:15 pm rating: 90

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- #26.1 Canthz_B
  
  LOL
  If you ask management everyone gets paid full-time and only works about five hours a day!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:02 pm rating: 90
- #26.2 Nicole
  
  Lol very true (hence my typing this very second) but I of course meant physically!
  
  Jul 3, 2008 at 2:16 pm rating: 90
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#27 Lurker

Anything that eats and shits out of the same orofice isn’t coming anywhere near my crockery.

Jul 3, 2008 at 6:58 pm rating: 90

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#28 Abe Froman

It’s the small, sad face that really makes me feel bad for the dishwasher….

Aw…. give some dirty plates to eat already!

Jul 3, 2008 at 8:23 pm rating: 90

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- #28.1 Mishee
  
  And you expect me to believe that you are Abe Froman?
  
  The Sausage King of Chicago?
  
  Look, I’m very busy. Why don’t you take the kids and go back to the clubhouse? I’m suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty.
  
  LOLOLOL!
  
  Jul 7, 2008 at 1:47 pm rating: 90
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#29 debbysue

And just when you thought the dishwasher was too full………Time for FIBREWARE

Jul 3, 2008 at 10:01 pm rating: 90

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#30 bellabeastie

Hey Deb — Would you possibly think of changing your name? If only for your own good. It’s a pretty tough crowd and even I have a hard time not dissing you on FIBREWARE.

What if you went with D.SUE? Then you’d be a little ghetto and no one would make fun of you. Maybe. Just a thought.

Jul 4, 2008 at 2:45 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #30.1 Canthz_B
  
  You mean like: “When debbysue got married she received cloth dish-ware as a wedding gift?” ♥
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 2:58 am rating: 90
- #30.2 bellabeastie
  
  Paperplates.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 2:59 am rating: 90
- #30.3 bellabeastie
  
  And plastic forks.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 3:02 am rating: 90
- #30.4 Sirius
  
  Hey c’mon, that’s really mean; I picture debbysue laboring intently over her comment in order to bring happiness to all — kind of like Carrie Underwood scratching the belly of her virtual doggy.
  
  Jul 4, 2008 at 8:29 pm rating: 90
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#31 zoe

I love this note. I think it’s hilarious, though admittedly poorly designed.

Jul 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: 90

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- #31.1 known unknown
  
  exactly.
  
  it needs clip art.
  
  or a visual aid. of some sort…
  
  Jul 5, 2008 at 11:48 pm rating: 90
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#32 cricket

er…I thought it was ‘eat lightning and crap thunder’

my bad.

Jul 5, 2008 at 2:51 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #32.1 aaa
  
  Eating lighting and crapping thunder is a neat trick, but it pales in comparison to eating dirty dishes and crapping out clean ones.
  
  Jul 5, 2008 at 5:05 pm rating: 90
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#33 Heather

No wonder the Maytag man is always looking so glum.

Jul 5, 2008 at 7:45 pm rating: 90

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#34 Jsmoke

Now I know what happened to the dishwasher from PeeWee’s playhouse.

Jul 6, 2008 at 6:34 am rating: 90

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#35 Jamesie

I agree Abe Froman! The sad face makes my little heart break! Feed the poor widdle dishywasher!

Jul 7, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: 90

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#36 sarahbee

I actually kinda liked this one, seriously. It’s one of the few “trying to be funny” ones that I’ve ever actually found funny. It’s, y’know, imaginative or something.

Jul 8, 2008 at 6:31 pm rating: 90

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#37 the xenophobic toilet | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

[...] related: i asked santa for a baby alive, and all i got was this stupid dishwasher [...]

Sep 8, 2008 at 4:46 am rating: 90

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#38 edavgsu pzevagrws

sgnpkjbd onwvhkis eilc yspq vytsxomu cqejpa vcphmbiwj

Oct 3, 2008 at 1:41 pm rating: 90

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#39 do your stairs think you’re fat?

[...] in victoria, b.c. found this somewhat puzzling bit of anthropomorphism (stairs have feelings? really?) posted in the elevator of her residence building. adds rachel: [...]

Mar 28, 2009 at 1:36 am rating: 90

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#40 the existential crisis of a water fountain

[...] related: i eat dirty plates [...]

Sep 2, 2009 at 8:43 pm rating: 90

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#41 The very dirty dishwasher | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] related: When dishwashers speak [...]

Sep 12, 2011 at 7:01 am rating: 90

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