I didn’t think i’d ever see a kitchen appliance more inappropriately anthropomorphized than this fridge, but I think this dishwasher note (from an anonymous submitter in England) dials the WTF-factor up to 11.
related: The passive-aggressive note has not been destroyed; it has been solved
147 responses so far ↓
#1
Celia
Wow, that makes me sad. The fact that the underline after “Shit out” goes under the space… That’s kinda annoying.
I really don’t like when people are always anthropomorphizing things… especially appliances.
But I am Glad that the dishwasher thinks dishes are yummy.
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:02 pm rating: 5
#2
zombieBlanco
I’m confused- is it the dirty plates that are yummy or the clean shat out ones?
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:06 pm rating: 5
#3
Mishee
My husband seems to think that if he doesn’t load me up with dishes to wash, I also will cry…
Wrong!
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:08 pm rating: 45
#4
Mishee
Well, that explains why the British have the teeth they have… they’ve been eating dishes!
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:10 pm rating: 22
#5
zombieBlanco
♪ never stop
If you load me up
If you load me up I’ll always eat
If you load me up
If you load me up I’ll always eat
I’ve been cleaning plates
You got me shitting gonna shit clean plates
If you load me up
If you load me up I’ll always eat
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 14
#6
Sarah
Unfortunate line break after “shit”.
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:29 pm rating: 12
#7
ALA
I’m a little dishwasher, short & stout
Here is my do-or, I have no spout
Put the dirty dishes in & I’ll shit them out
So fill me up or watch me pout
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:34 pm rating: 103
#8
John in IL
If my appliances are shitting anything, I call a repairman. I don’t write a shitty note.
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:47 pm rating: 13
#9
catherine
wtf. seriously! this is the worst passive aggressive “do the dishes” note ever, because a) it’s gross (mmm I love eating what another thing has shit out!) and b) it’s not like the dishwasher is the only way to do dishes. I would like to slap the author of this note.
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:49 pm rating: 5
#10
Canthz_B
Diner: Excuse me waiter, my dish is dirty.
Waiter: Impossible! The dishwasher just shit that out.
Diner: Hmmph! Check Please!
Jul 2, 2008 at 11:52 pm rating: 55
#11
Canthz_B
Plate shitting is a hell of a trick, but let’s see the flatware!
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:00 am rating: 11
#12
Bikerbabee
Capitals, underlining, smiley faces.. they only left out pink penises and hearts!
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: 1
#13
Canthz_B
I’d hate to point out the obvious but…those plates were fucking delicious!
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: 11
#14
RALPHY
Kinda reminds me of “The Little House of Horrors” except it had no point.
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:13 am rating: 1
#15
Canthz_B
Every time I try to put a load into my dishwasher my wife gets angry.
Of course my dishwasher is an exchange student from the Philippines, but she says it’s yummy!
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:13 am rating: 41
#16
aaa
What? Where the hell did they get such a fun dishwasher? Mine just sits there and stares at me like it hates me. :/
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:21 am rating: 16
#17
Quite Contrary
I’m trying to figure out who the asspanda is. The writer of the note or the dishwasher that thinks it is cute and funny.
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:23 am rating: 5
#18
Canthz_B
Now if we could just get the damned thing to eat dirty plates and shit out clean fifties we’d be in business!
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: 7
#19
Canthz_B
To the tune of Teach Me Tonight :
Did you say I’m trying not to wash?
Well, don’t think I’m trying not to wash,
Since this is the perfect spot to wash,
Feed me tonight.
Let’s start with the breakfast plates of it,
Add in the dinner plates of it,
Help me free up your mate from it,
Feed me tonight.
The sink’s a basin,
High above me,
On the counter top so high.
Go use that sink,
Pre-rinse the dishes,
So I can get off burned on pie!
These glass dishes don’t look clean to me.
There is no Jet-Dri inside of me.
The rinse cycle’s taking over me.
Feed me tonight.
Go use that sink,
Pre-rinse the dishes,
So I can get off burned on pie!
These glass dishes don’t look clean to me.
There is no Jet-Dri inside of me.
The rinse cycle’s taking over me.
Feed me,
Please feed me tonight.
Jul 3, 2008 at 1:18 am rating: 4
#20
Sheepish
*sounds of mechanical tears are coming from the kitchen*
“please stop crying dishwasher, I just gave you a load of dishes.”
*appliance continues to sob*
“I can’t help it if you want more; you’re going to have to wait for after dinner.”
*starts to pout and slams its door*
“Now you listen to me, if Fridge can wait for a few days with mouldy leftovers and expired milk before I clean it out then you should be more like him and learn some patience.”
*Fridge opens and closes its door in a gloating way*
*Microwave blinks the leftover time cheekily*
“If you don’t start behaving, Dishwasher, I’ll give you something to cry about”
Jul 3, 2008 at 9:49 am rating: 32
#21
Jaybird
Eating dirty plates and shitting clean ones is quite the party trick….. I would pay to see that.
Jul 3, 2008 at 9:57 am rating: 3
#22
Kev Orng
If I had had a dishwasher when I was living with roommates, there would have been no excuse for not doing dishes.
I never left notes about dirty dishes though, i just moved the pile to their bedrooms.
Jul 3, 2008 at 10:22 am rating: 5
#23
DanOhh
“I was just goin’ to leave my dishes out because this was such a dumb note BUT then I saw that sad face at the end and I must obey.”
Jul 3, 2008 at 11:11 am rating: 3
#24
Cowgirlgraphics
My hubby call our mobile dishwasher “that square thing in the kitchen.” It’s a basic male refusal to recognize an appliance that gives me so much joy. But with the recent news of the possiblity of it shitting clean plates, I think I’m going to cry.
Jul 3, 2008 at 11:47 am rating: 3
#25
Mustang Sally
No wonder all those dirty dishes were in the back bathroom!
Jul 3, 2008 at 12:38 pm rating: 4
#26
Nicole
Are you sure you aren’t my husband Mark? Lol
I should add that he gets paid full time and only works about 5 hours a day. I work more at the office and he works more at home. Seems fair to me.
Jul 3, 2008 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#27
Lurker
Anything that eats and shits out of the same orofice isn’t coming anywhere near my crockery.
Jul 3, 2008 at 6:58 pm rating: 4
#28
Abe Froman
It’s the small, sad face that really makes me feel bad for the dishwasher….
Aw…. give some dirty plates to eat already!
Jul 3, 2008 at 8:23 pm rating: 2
#29
debbysue
And just when you thought the dishwasher was too full………Time for FIBREWARE
Jul 3, 2008 at 10:01 pm rating: 2
#30
bellabeastie
Hey Deb — Would you possibly think of changing your name? If only for your own good. It’s a pretty tough crowd and even I have a hard time not dissing you on FIBREWARE.
What if you went with D.SUE? Then you’d be a little ghetto and no one would make fun of you. Maybe. Just a thought.
Jul 4, 2008 at 2:45 am rating: 0
#31
zoe
I love this note. I think it’s hilarious, though admittedly poorly designed.
Jul 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm rating: 1
#32
cricket
er…I thought it was ‘eat lightning and crap thunder’
my bad.
Jul 5, 2008 at 2:51 am rating: 0
#33
Heather
No wonder the Maytag man is always looking so glum.
Jul 5, 2008 at 7:45 pm rating: 1
#34
Jsmoke
Now I know what happened to the dishwasher from PeeWee’s playhouse.
Jul 6, 2008 at 6:34 am rating: 0
#35
Jamesie
I agree Abe Froman! The sad face makes my little heart break! Feed the poor widdle dishywasher!
Jul 7, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: 1
#36
sarahbee
I actually kinda liked this one, seriously. It’s one of the few “trying to be funny” ones that I’ve ever actually found funny. It’s, y’know, imaginative or something.
Jul 8, 2008 at 6:31 pm rating: 1
#37 the xenophobic toilet | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] related: i asked santa for a baby alive, and all i got was this stupid dishwasher [...]
Sep 8, 2008 at 4:46 am rating: 0
#38
edavgsu pzevagrws
sgnpkjbd onwvhkis eilc yspq vytsxomu cqejpa vcphmbiwj
Oct 3, 2008 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#39 do your stairs think you’re fat?
[...] in victoria, b.c. found this somewhat puzzling bit of anthropomorphism (stairs have feelings? really?) posted in the elevator of her residence building. adds rachel: [...]
Mar 28, 2009 at 1:36 am rating: 0
#40 the existential crisis of a water fountain
[...] related: i eat dirty plates [...]
Sep 2, 2009 at 8:43 pm rating: 0
#41 The very dirty dishwasher | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: When dishwashers speak [...]
Sep 12, 2011 at 7:01 am rating: 0
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