Graham, this means you

July 6th, 2008 · 126 comments

Eli says this sign has been hanging in the window of the local pizza place for several weeks now. (Really, with that whole “talking and working” requirement, are you surprised they weren’t deluged with applications?)

Cardo's Pizza is now hiring. Please do not apply if your oversleep, have no babysitter, expirience [sic] flat tires every week, have to leave early for probabtion meetings, can't go 10 minutes without talking on a cell phone or smoking. Must be able to talk and work at the same time.

related: Bizarre pardoning accident

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · help wanted · now that's management · spelling and grammar police


126 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mark bang

    But it’s OK if I don’t sleep (yay meth), nailed the babysitter before I arrived, “expirience” bald tires every day, have to arrive late because of probation meetings (and nailing the babysitter), can wait up to 11 minutes until talking on the cell phone or smoking weed, and am able to talk and work and jerk off into the pizza sauce all at the same time? Am I hired?

    Jul 6, 2008 at 9:23 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Claire

      Mark is truly a busy man–shows potential for being management material!

      Jul 6, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Canthz_B bang

      Yes. You’re hired.
      That is unless the probation meetings are because you nailed the babysitter! ;-)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:19 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   YourCunt

    ummm…expensive gas, asshole boss…how would anyone not want this job.

    Jul 6, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   zombieBlanco bang

    Must be able to talk and work at the same time.

    Cardo’s is clearly practicing hiring discrimination against the mute. Quick, get our cracker-jack team of PAN lawyers-to-be on the case!

    Jul 6, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   amazon

      hmm… the Pizza place is not a Government entity, so Constitutional protections don’t apply. Disability discrimination would be determined under applicable Federal and/or State statute (which, thank god, we don’t need to know for the bar). However, my educated guess is that disability discrimination would have to be based on some sort of bona fide (pronounced fi-dee if you are my professor) occupation qualification in order to be legal. For instance, I’m fairly certain you cannot recover for discrimination if you are blind and a cab company won’t hire you as a driver. So therefore, is “talking” a necessary part of the job?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Canthz_B bang

      Let’s say I’m a “handicapped” driver and my personal car is equipped with hand controls.
      Could a cab company be required to similarly equip a taxi for me because of the Americans with Disabilities Act?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Another Law Student

      De-lurking to answer this since I spent all of the spring semester learning the ADA…

      The employer is required to make “reasonable accommodations” for the [potential] employee.

      I don’t think equipping a taxi with hand controls would be reasonable, but we’ll just assume that the right attorney could argue otherwise. How’s that for certainty?

      And “talking” very well may be considered an “essential job function” for certain jobs…One of the most litigated essential job functions I’ve read about is a employee’s ability to “interact with others,” which is especially interesting in cases with employees having Tourette’s…

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Mung Bean

      One of the most litigated essential job functions I’ve read about is a employee’s ability to “interact with others,” which is especially interesting in cases with employees having Tourette’s…

      In some lines of work, an employee with Tourette’s would actually be a real find: US Marine drill sargeant, character actor specializing in the works of David Mamet…

      Jul 7, 2008 at 11:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   tomservo bang

      Go Team Equal Opportunities!

      Jul 8, 2008 at 3:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Adhara

      *facepalm*

      Despite what tabloid TV seems to have led you to believe, Tourette’s syndrome does not equal rampant swearing. What you’re familiar with is properly known as “coprolalia”, and afflicts less than 3% of Tourettic people who have tics (and since not everyone who has TS displays tics, that’s a VERY small number of people).

      For example, I squeak and clear my throat a lot. I think that would make me a very poor drill sergeant or infantry soldier, yes? ;p

      Jul 21, 2008 at 12:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Lurker

    It’s kind of hard to not have a messed-up life on what you make in a pizza parlor.

    We should make him a sign that says, “Your mother doesn’t apply to work here.”

    Jul 6, 2008 at 9:59 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Agent Inspired

    As a likely applicant, I would have stopped reading at do not apply.

    Jul 6, 2008 at 10:03 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    This job requires an “anti-resume”.
    A document which details everything that you do not do and will not contribute the the company.

    Jul 6, 2008 at 10:03 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   amazon

      To whom it may concern (Casey in Human Resources?):

      I would like to apply for a job with your company. I don’t do drugs, read, puke, or wash my hair in the bathroom. I won’t microwave fish or ethnic food. In fact, I promise not to leave time remaining on the microwave. My mother does, indeed, work here. I don’t think that Outback bread is fucking delicious. My ice cream does not give you herpes. I won’t forget to wear a unitard.

      Thank you for your consideration.

      Sincerely,

      Applicant

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:54 am   rating: 71  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments

      Amazon – nice, very nice. Why do I get the feeling I went to school with you? Did your building (K.H.?) have a statue in the lobby?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   possiblyrelated

      oh no. sounds like calvin.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   amazon

      Sorry, SGWNC, “K.H.” and “statue in lobby” don’t ring a bell. As a hint, I went to the university whose mascot is also a condom ;)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      L-O-freaking-L

      I’m on board. :)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Sarah bang

    But I can still steal from the register, right? OK, great.

    Jul 6, 2008 at 10:05 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Not the best Italian food in town.
    If Cardo was “connected” he wouldn’t have employee problems.

    Jul 6, 2008 at 10:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Quite Contrary

    Can I do drugs in the bathroom?
    Do you have company potlucks?
    And your position on clearing the microwave timer?

    Jul 6, 2008 at 10:07 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Bunnee

      Can I use the computer to read PAN on all day long so I never get any work done?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   toni

    How will Graham ever get a job now?

    Jul 6, 2008 at 10:43 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Southern Girl

    If you have to work and talk at the same time, why can’t it be on a cell phone? I am sure many an applicant can hold the cell with their shoulder, talk on it, to the customers, and wait tables all at once!

    Jul 6, 2008 at 11:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Allison

      in California now you are required to do hands-free phoning while driving. They can adopt the same type of policy and wear their blue-tooths, and be super-impressive multi-taskers.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   zombieBlanco bang

      okay, California is strange, but not that strange.

      We are still allowed to drive while not talking on the phone.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:28 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Crash bang

      So now you can eat, drink, shave, apply make-up and talk on the phone ( or not ) while driving all at the same time, huh ?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   amazon

      Yeah, since that new law went into effect, I’ve decided just to text while I’m driving from now on.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:41 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Crash bang

      What would you text with if not your hand’s…?
      Or do I want to know ???

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Southern Girl

      speaking of Bluetooths, Blueteeth? …. I hate when ppl are in a store near me and are talking on those things, I always think they are talking to me. Of course, most of the time, what they are saying makes no sense to me anyway.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   RunBarbara bang

      Its still legal to apply make-up, give a handjob, text and eat while driving. Of course, once those things are outlawed I will be out of a job.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 10:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments

      RunBarbara – SHOTGUN!

      Amazon – I refuse to buy a Bluetooth (they don’t work well enough). If I get pulled over I think I just may try to convince the cop I was actually texting while holding the phone near my ear and singing to myself. Would that have any serious PR ramifications?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   RunBarbara bang

      guywho, you should officially register your name so that you are able to send messages, etc.
      also, get in line and grab a book. its a busy month for me.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      Done, and done. (grabs copy of “War and Peace”)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    1) I’m not so sure that Cardo wants help.

    2) I’m pretty sure that Cardo “needs help”!

    Jul 6, 2008 at 11:12 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   aaa

    Well, I’m an insomniac, the kids are working in the coal mines, and my bike is in tip-top condition. Does that mean I get the job?

    Jul 6, 2008 at 11:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   aaa

    P.S.

    I like the reflection of the dude taking the picture. Reminds me of reflectoporn. Which makes me simultaneously vomit and El Oh El out loud.

    http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/kettle.asp

    Jul 6, 2008 at 11:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   amazon

      Reflectoporn? El Oh El? I must incorporate both of those terms into my vocabulary!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 1:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   zombieBlanco bang

      Reflectoporn? Whatever happened to the traditional oversized trenchcoat?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   secondsout bang

      Perhaps it drives up the price of the tea kettle when you sell it on eBay. Say, does the tea kettle come with one of those?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   bellabeastie

      OMG – sout — I remember that image.

      Team THAT will Drive the Price alright.

      Where is up to you.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 9:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Abe Froman bang

    The sign might as well read “Cardo’s Pizza is Not Hiring!”

    Jul 6, 2008 at 11:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Delurker

    If you “expirience” a flat tire, is it because you’ve passed the “best before” date on them?

    Jul 6, 2008 at 11:36 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Crash bang

    Well,
    that excludes the elderly, the young, the reformed criminals and drug addicts, single parents and vocaly challenged.
    So, who’s that leave left that would work at a pizza palor ?

    And if someone must be able to talk and work at the same time, what’s the problem with them taling on the cell phone anyway ?

    Jul 6, 2008 at 11:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Crash bang

      *talKing* :mrgreen:

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   TuesdayPillow

    That pretty much excludes your typical pizza parlor employee. Is he truly expecting college graduates with ambition or something? Maybe someone with a strong work ethic, someone smart enough to not have gotten pregnant in their teens? How about people that have no police record and can afford to perform regular maintenance on their vehicles?

    Those are the people WITH REAL JOBS, CARDO! Open a real business or deal with shitty employees for the rest of your life.

    Jul 7, 2008 at 12:00 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   wickedopinion74

      Wow, is it hot under that sweeping generalization blanket? Would you like a cold beverage? Oh wait, I work in the food service industry so my hands are probably covered in diaper residue, motor oil, and parking tickets. Better not.

      Jul 8, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Sirius bang

    This employer has an effective pre-screening process, ensuring he won’t get any prospective applicants who don’t like working for raging assholes.

    Jul 7, 2008 at 12:28 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Sydney

    Shorter PAN: “If life happens to you sometimes, do not apply.”

    Jul 7, 2008 at 12:53 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Jsmoke

    Memo to Cardo:

    You do know your running a pizza joint right?

    Jul 7, 2008 at 2:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Chris

    So, basically he is looking for someone who finds his ass with both hands when the lights are out?

    Jul 7, 2008 at 3:02 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   prina

    he want someone that can bend over and kiss his ass?!

    Jul 7, 2008 at 3:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   RALPHY

    Man-Sounds like this guy actually expects you to do something, like work. No thanks–I’ll stick with my government job.

    Jul 7, 2008 at 6:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   RunBarbara bang

      “man-sounds”

      Jul 7, 2008 at 10:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Mishee bang

      AHHHHHH! government job… that explains so much about RALPHY with so few words…

      Jul 7, 2008 at 10:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   bellabeastie

      Our tax dollars… sniff.

      Please contribute to save the whales and the spelling impaired.

      I beg you.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 10:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   schrodingersduck bang

    I have no babysitter. I also have no children. Am I still disqualified?

    Jul 7, 2008 at 8:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   bellabeastie

      Yes.

      I’m sure you had a flat tire on the way to your Probation Hearing while you were talking on your cell phone and smoking.

      Ferggetaboutit. Nope. No pizza palace for you.

      Please go and apply for a government job.

      Fer crissakes – if they hired Ralphy, you my friend, are a shoe-in.

      P.S. ( I heard they hire people even if they oversleep and blame their moms)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 11:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Ryan

    Sounds like what was understood to be requirements for the workplace prior to 1998.

    I love how the note is structured so that it’s a figurative “finger of scorn” to those who have held the job before….!

    Please no applications from those who already applied… This means you, Graham.

    THX

    Jul 7, 2008 at 8:38 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   anglophile bang

      I had a crazy landlady once (how crazy? one time I saw her wearing a beanie hat with a propeller) who wrote the lease based on things previous tenants had done. Things I could not do according to the lease: hang red curtains (the house was yellow, so it would clash), display neon beer signs in the window (apparently she was afraid it would be mistaken for a bar), move furniture in and out of the windows (the stairs were narrow, steep and windy–a real bitch to move a couch in), or keep any non-working cars in the driveway.

      You have no idea how tempted I was to do them all.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 9:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Southern Girl

      You know in the South, I have witnessed all of the above, especially since we are infamous for having many a non-working car in the yard, with grass grown up around them might I add.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Mark bang

      How about trees growing through non-working cars?

      http://www.flickr.com/photos/upturnedface/307197360/

      Jul 7, 2008 at 12:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   Bunnee

      And you still signed the lease, anglo?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   anglophile bang

      Sure, I got a lot of good stories out of the deal. The best one was when the new tenants looked me up after I moved out and called me to ask if it was really true I had tried to push the Crazy Landlady down the stairs. 8O

      Of course I hadn’t, but one day, when she wouldn’t get out of my apartment, I did escort her to the door with a hand on her elbow and closed the door on her ass. Apparently she spread her version of the story far and wide.

      Besides, it was easy to put my Leinenkugel’s sign on an interior wall where you couldn’t see it through a window.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   xindi

    iphone, reflected! yay!

    Jul 7, 2008 at 9:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Voca Popula

    Dammit, just because I live on Broken Glass Avenue and expirience a flat tire every week, I can’t apply to work here? How will I ever get enough money together to move to a block where the streets are paved with real asphalt?

    Jul 7, 2008 at 9:19 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   GhostWriter bang

    Customer#1: “Hey, this pizza tastes like cardo-board!”

    Customer #2: “Hey, is ‘Cardo’ short for ‘Cardio’, as in, I’m gonna have a heart attack after I finish this greasy pizza?”

    Customer #3: ” Hey Ricky Rick-Cardo! Where’s LUUUUCy!”

    Cardo: *sigh* I need a doorman…”

    Jul 7, 2008 at 9:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   grumpygranolagirl

      Cardo’s pizza is horrible. This note is from a town about an hour north of me. It’s greasy and the crust IS like cardboard.

      At least they didn’t put a bible verse on this sign. I’m kind of surprised they didn’t. At the shop closer to me they not only include bible verses, but have a big rock outside with a verse engraved into it.

      Granted, I don’t think a quick prayer would hurt given what the pizza can do to one’s innards.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 2:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Shane

    If you fill the above requirements, please see Casey in Human Resources.

    THX SANDRA

    Jul 7, 2008 at 10:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Bunnee

      Is it unitard time for Shane?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Mishee bang

      Well. he didn’t do the note ALL CAPS like everyone else… but he DID mention poor Casey in HR and THX SANDRA..

      I’m thinking that’s deserving of at least 2 hrs in the ‘Tard…

      Hahahaha! Let’s wait for Judge RB… she will throw the book at him!!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   Shane

      What? What’d I say?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 10:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   bellabeastie

      I’m guessing you don’t know the punishment regarding the “Casey in HR and THX SANDRA” comments both in one posting.

      Depending on the Ruling, you could be sentenced to as little as 5 but not more than 10 hours in the unitard for the “Casey in HR and THX SANDRA ” comment.

      Falls in the sucks-to-be-you department. Personally I have avoided such a mallefectation. (oo I love that word!)

      Go with Gawd – Embrace the Unitard.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 11:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   Shane

      no, I knew the punishment, I just enjoy playing the innocent, “Who Me?” card. Especially since I don’t yet comment enough to be a regular.

      Jul 8, 2008 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   senor coconut

    Hmmm…actually, as a restaurant manager who has had to fire three people for excessive cell phone usage, one person for informing me the day after the schedule came out that he had a court date, one person for taking 2-3 ten to fifteen minute smoke breaks AND was underaged, one for oversleeping and blaming his mom for not waking him up, and 0ne person who refused to speak to customers unless she thought they might tip her and even then she had the worst attitude, I would post the same damned thing now that I am hiring more reasons to come to work drunk.

    Mind you, these people were doing the same things over and over, so it wasn’t like I was all, “Oh, you’re late. You’re fired.”

    Jul 7, 2008 at 4:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Uh Huh

      Yeah, I’m not condoning the underage thing, but you do realize that your employees are entitled to 2 fifteen minute breaks in addition to their meal break per 8 hour shift, right?

      I use to smoke and use to have a crappy job. Two things I’m glad I gave up. A snarkyass coworker use to complain to our boss about my “excessive” breaks when I never took more than 2 per shift, they never lasted more than 10 minutes, and they were never at peak times.

      Whether they are smoke breaks, coffee breaks, or do a lap around the block breaks – its really not your concern.

      Yeah, you’re employees get breaks. Sryz. :-(

      Jul 8, 2008 at 10:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Total Douche bang

    You’d be surprised how many shiftless, loser, drug addicted, low-life convicts (ex and otherwise) with zero sense of responsibility work in a pizza place. I can sympathize with Cardo, where I work, it happens ALL the time. His note is actually quite typical of what goes on at just about every restaurant in the US.
    Team Show up, put the Cigarette out and the Phone down, shut the fuck up and do your job.
    Cardo’s pizza is Fucking Delicious!!!

    Jul 7, 2008 at 5:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   KittyKat

      You’d be surprised how many shiftless, loser, drug addicted, low-life convicts with zero sense of responsibility OWN a pizza place.

      Oh, by the way, I DO own a pizza place!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Canthz_B bang

      DEAR GOD NO!!!
      DON”T TALK ABOUT THE RESTAURANT WORKERS…THEY’LL NEVER GO AWAY!!! :lol:

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      Everyone should be forced to work in a restaurant just so they understand how lucky they are if they get edible food served to them that doesn’t end up making them sick.

      When I was but a young teenager a waiter offered to “tip me out” with free weed on a night when I did a particularly good job of saving his ass. Did he realize that he was 30+ years old and I was still a few years shy of voting age and trying to make a car payment? Nah! He was doing me a favor by offering me the weed.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   Mishee bang

      Well, I worked at a pizza place when I was in my late teens…

      We didn’t have cell phones yet, but the payphone by the door accepted incoming calls… we didn’t have any probation issues, although there was an undercover sting operation that a friend of mine got caught in when she called her hookup (for pot) from that phone, which happened to be tapped, and she got arrested. We had a pregnant girl there, but no babysitter issues, she had the baby with her at all times, the only people who really drove there were the drivers, so if they DID get a flat, another one would go pick him up and then there wasn’t an issue, As for the smoke breaks… well, as long as we shared our joint with the manager, we could take them whenever it was slow and as many times as we wanted… as long as there wasn’t a line.

      I have nothing to add when it comes to the oversleeping. I never did, and I opened the store with the day mgr, so there wasn’t an issue there.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   Canthz_B bang

      You’re not that old, Mishee. LOL
      We had cell phones ten years ago. Nothing like the internet connected phones of today, but you could use them as telephones! ;-)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.6   Mishee bang

      I guess I meant “We” as in my 17-20 year old friends… WE didn’t have cell phones, but my mother had one that was $1.99 a minute or something! :D This WAS 1998… Hell, they were still ANALOG!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.7   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      Screw analog. My first phone was attached to my car by a coiled rubber cord. If I remember correctly, I had to have the ignition on just to use it. And it was a huge step up from having to remember all of the message “codes” on my pager.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.8   Mishee bang

      Hey now! We were actually able to practically TALK with our pagers! It was a prehistoric form of text messaging if you will, but it got the point across! There was an entire “Alphabet” that you would use to form a letter..

      Like, 12 meant R… get it? :D

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.9   Zsa

      My Mom kept her “bag phone” (see SGWHC’s description– and don’t forget that they weighed 6 lbs) until it broke in 2003 and she couldn’t find anyone to fix it. She still whines on occasion that her bag phone got better reception than her razr does.
      Could it have been the 8′ antenna arcing up from the back of her car like a bad comb-over? Anyone? Bueller?

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.10   Canthz_B bang

      You kids are so cute!

      You’d die of shock if all you had were 6 tv stations, PBS and all of the content were in black and white! ROTFLMAO :-)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.11   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      Oh, yes. I used to do the same thing. There were/are a few ways of making that work . . .

      80085!!!!!! :) Really, I’m not still 16.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.12   Mark bang

      I’ve always had color TV, but I do remember when there were only like 6 stations (plus some freakadelic televangelist stations deep in UHF territory), and we actually had to get up from the couch to change the channel! By turning knobs! One for 2-13, one for 14-67(?). And we had to mess with the rabbit ears for reception. Boy, I remember when we first got cable, with like 30 stations, OMG! Nickelodeon!!! Whee!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.13   Mishee bang

      I remember first getting cable… Nickelodeon was the SHIT…

      I still miss Double Dare and I watch Food Network’s “Unwrapped” just to see Marc Summers..

      And don’t even get me STARTED on “Hey, Dude”!!

      As for the bag phone Zsa, sounds like the same issue my Uncle In Law had, his finally broke I think in 2004 or 2005… and the one he has now doesn’t get reception at his house in the boonies… the other one did though… weird.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.14   Canthz_B bang

      Did your TV have vacuum tubes or was it solid state?! :-)
      God forbid the repair man said those dreaded words: “I’ll have to take the set to the shop”!

      Mishee, can I salute your shorts? :evil:

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.15   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

      Damn – you beat me to the “Hey, Dude” punch. Wow – I miss those mom-jean clad young ladies.

      Further, I’m totally kicking myself for not realizing Marc Summers on “Unwrapped” is MARC SUMMERS. How have I not picked up on that one? Epic fail for me.

      While I only got to watch cable at my friends’ houses and at my cousins, I made up for lost time whenever I was there.

      The best part of the built in car phone I started with was the fact I had to keep the pager so I knew when to go out to my car to talk to whoever was trying to get a hold of me (usually the parents).

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.16   Stitchin-Liz

      It’s a little wild and a little strange….

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.17   Mark bang

      Ah, “epic fail” indicates your nerdliness! Welcome fellow nerd!

      CB — mine was solid-state. My wife helped her dad build their tv from tubes and a kit though. She’s a little older than me.

      I can talk for hours about obscure old Nick shows. Does anyone remember “The Third Eye”? “Seven Cities of Gold”? “Belle and Sebastian”? Of course everyone knows “You Can’t Do That On Television.” And yes, of course “Double Dare” was a constant must-watch. I’ll take the physical challenge.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.18   Canthz_B bang

      How about “Roundhouse”? I think I liked that more than my kids did! I used to rush them through dinner and baths and into PJs so they I wouldn’t miss any of it.
      Someday I will have the Dad-chair!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.19   Mishee bang

      It was a few years later, but I loved Are You Afraid of the Dark, and in I would say about 1990 there was this game show, I can’t remember what the name was, but my older brother, my mom and I would watch it every day!

      I effin LOVED Salute Your Shorts CB, in fact, I see Monkey Lips & Budnick all the time in other shows and movies and that is all I see when I see them! :D

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.20   Canthz_B bang

      Or was that “All That”? Hmmm, time for that Alzheimer’s check-up.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.21   Mishee bang

      All That was around in the mid-90s I believe… a little later than my time with the channel… I believe it’s gone quite downhill since then…

      I also miss Clarissa Explains It All (or as everyone knows her now as “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”)

      Jul 7, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.22   Canthz_B bang

      My daughter said that Clarissa’s brother looked creepy.
      Which reminds me of “Are You Afraid of the Dark”!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.23   Mishee bang

      CB – you are as bad at listening to me as my husband! See the first line of 32.19! :D But yes, I loved that show, I would watch it every week in a darkened room.. and some of those stories still stick with me and give me goosebumps…

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.24   Celia

      Oh boy, I do wish I actually had cable…
      Not yet….
      I’ve got my good 10 channels (on a good day)…

      But I did get to watch it at my grandma’s house so, that’s a plus.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.25   amazon bang

      I remember when my dad first got internet, and our ISP was Prodigy!

      I was like 6, and tried to write an email to a friend, and clearly had no clue what email was. So in the “to:” portion, I just wrote her name. Ya know, cuz the internet fairies would find her, and give her my message!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.26   tutmondigo

      Mishee, was that game show Legends of the Hidden Temple?

      Jul 8, 2008 at 9:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.27   Mishee bang

      No, it wasn’t a physical game show, it was knowledge based, almost like a Jr. Jeopardy, but I think it was played in teams… but the name still escapes me. I am positive it was on Nick cause back then, Nick was the only channel around for kids….

      Jul 8, 2008 at 9:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.28   Kelly

      The game show your thinking of is called Make the Grade :)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   SomeGuyWhoNeverComments bang

    deleted – posted to the wrong place, sorry.

    Jul 7, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Mishee bang

      hey, at least you fixed your mistake before any of us noticed! what a good poster! :D

      Jul 7, 2008 at 6:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   amazon bang

      yeah, but then we can’t make fun of him!

      Jul 7, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Mishee bang

    Ummm… this pizza place has a drive thru… WTF… why can’t I have a pizza place with a drive thru?? Or a drive thru margarita place like I heard about in the south??

    All we have is drive thru starbucks… who fucking cares for that shit!?

    Jul 7, 2008 at 8:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   secondsout bang

    Doesn’t anybody else hate that person who talks and works at the same time? Like the mental case who mutters things just loud enough for you to hear them. Or the asshole who stands in your cubicle while you’re trying to get some work done?

    Jul 7, 2008 at 8:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   amazon bang

    Wait, pizza places don’t serve breakfast, right? How has he had a problem with employees oversleeping? How late are these people sleeping in?? I’m jealous!

    Jul 7, 2008 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Mishee bang

    I am considering emailing john@cardopizza.com and letting him tell his story about the note… anyone else think that’s a good idea?

    300th post and 100th post within 15 minutes of each other… I rock!

    Jul 7, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   bellabeastie

    Gotcher back. Go for it.

    And tell him he’s a suckass tightwad dirtball discriminatory freak from me.

    THX BELLA

    Jul 7, 2008 at 10:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   bellabeastie

      Oooo – was that a little bitter?

      Sorry long day AT WORK. And I am actually expected to talk and work at the same time. Even on my cell phone if I want (sometimes it’s to customers). Go Figure.

      And obviously surf PAN every chance I get, so if I get fired, I guess re-employment at Cardo’s is out of the question.

      Narrows down the playing field.

      Jul 7, 2008 at 10:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Mishee bang

      bella,

      the package has been delivered. let’s see if he bites!

      Jul 8, 2008 at 10:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   bellabeastie

      ** I hear the Jeopardy theme song playing in the background**

      “How much do you wager, Mr. Tardo –err, I mean Cardo”?

      Silence falls…. as we wait for the answer.

      Jul 8, 2008 at 12:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Kate

    The way the idiot wrote this, it says “Please do not apply if you… must be able to talk and work at the same time.” Sounds like this store owner needs some “expirience” in writing.

    Jul 9, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Subordinate Claws bang

    The manager’s “expirience” has brought him/her tenure. He/she shall ever be a manager of a pizza joint. Guaranteed in “writing.”

    Jul 10, 2008 at 12:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Mel

    Holy Cow!!! That’s definitely from my hometown! Best birthday present so far today. =P

    Jul 11, 2008 at 1:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Penny Lane bang

    I think this is so amazing.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 11:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Wheresmydamnanswer

    And he thinks applicants will flock to him – WHY??

    Jul 12, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   alison shepherd

    I take it his present or perhaps past employees are just not working out.. Well if that was my ad to make it short I would put .. If you have an excuse don’t bother to apply

    Jul 16, 2008 at 12:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Grey

    Is that the kid from Bad Santa in the reflection?

    Aug 21, 2008 at 4:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   s anatomy

    No, it’s a ghost.

    Sep 22, 2009 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Yes, Fayette broke the copier. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Graham, this means you [...]

    Jul 6, 2010 at 10:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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