what kind of objectionable trash do you suppose is being disposed of in these bins? (half-eaten curries? yesterday’s times?) how many hours of company time did the sign’s designer spend on this full-color laminated masterpiece? what is that comma doing there? and how, exactly, how are these bins to be monitored?
related: servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day
185 responses so far ↓
#1
zombieBlanco
Bathroom Monitor Wanted: Must be comfortable with strange smells, sounds, drug use, gay knocking codes and vomiting in urinals. Previous experience as an elementary school hall monitor a plus.
Jul 10, 2008 at 11:32 pm rating: +43
#2
Quite Contrary
What concerns me more is how someone determined that the feminine hygeine bins were being misused in the first place. I know I don’t go snooping around in those things.
Jul 10, 2008 at 11:44 pm rating: +27
#3
Quite Contrary
I do not envy the management to whom the misuse is reported.
Jul 10, 2008 at 11:45 pm rating: +17
#4
Bort
What kind of sick bastard self-promotes herself as president of the jelly roll patrol?
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:17 am rating: +19
#5
Canthz_B
Introducing the new and improved CanCam® .
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:27 am rating: +15
#6
Canthz_B
What I want to know most is what could they possibly be doing with the used feminine products that requires that they be separated from other refuse?
Is there a mad scientist down the block or something? These things aren’t recyclable to my knowledge.
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: +8
#7
Canthz_B
Carol from accounts receivable:
Mr. Billingsley, I was just looking through the feminine hygiene bins in the Ladies Room and found this half eaten bagel.
Mr. Billingsley, Sr. VP, Accounting:
Carol, go wash your hands and then clean out your desk. You’re fired you pervert!
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:44 am rating: +18
#8
octavius
So that’s what a feminine hygiene bin looks like. Fascinating. At first I thought it was a shredder.
Now what would happen if you put …..
Jul 11, 2008 at 1:00 am rating: +13
#9
secondsout
Well, when you put the feminine hygiene bins in the men’s room, what do you expect?
Jul 11, 2008 at 1:47 am rating: +18
#10
secondsout
The PAN Goddess questions the misplaced comma. Management has more questions about the period, apparently.
Jul 11, 2008 at 1:50 am rating: +88
#11
secondsout
So when you dispose of feminine hygiene products, doesn’t that make them trash? So if you can’t put trash in the feminine hygiene product bins, does that mean you can only put unused ones in? I’m confused!
Jul 11, 2008 at 1:51 am rating: +7
#12
secondsout
And by “management,” do they mean, Casey in Human Resources? Hasn’t she suffered enough?
Jul 11, 2008 at 1:53 am rating: +34
#13
SarahBelle
Those feminine hygiene products were fucking delicious.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:01 am rating: +10
#14
Shane
Monitoring huh? They must have that new Tampon Recognition Software. It’s pretty cool. Read a recent article on it:
Tampon recognition software attaches numerical values to different features, which can then be checked against a database of existing images. As with fingerprints, a match is assumed when a certain threshold of shared values in the two images has been reached.
Tampon recognition software has been proposed as a potentially useful way to prevent terroristic tampons from making their way unrecognized through airports. However, there are a few major challenges, among them setting up a reference system against which they could be recognized. As security technologist Brook Schneider, points out, “If the biometric is tampon recognition, you can take good pictures of new tampons when they are created and enter them into the system. Evil tampons are unlikely to pose for photo shoots.”
The 9/11 attacks reduced public resistance to biometric techniques such as tampon recognition software in public places, even those where terrorists are no more likely to show up than anyone else, such as football stadiums.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:07 am rating: +18
#15
KMax
Blood and DNA tests required of everyone upon hiring.
The women, for the monitoring of the feminine hygiene bins.
The men, for the monitoring of the soap dispensers.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:11 am rating: +9
#16
Lo
If where I work is any indication, some people put used toilet paper in there instead of flushing it.
NEVER a surprise you want when emptying those things.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:37 am rating: +2
#17
snee
this whole thing is a bleedin’ shame.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:46 am rating: +8
#18
snee
the pregnant women are putting their milk chocolate candy wrappers in the bins.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:51 am rating: +24
#19
Neil
Aside from the obvious. I shiver at the thought of what is being disposed of that warrants misuse of the bins!!
Jul 11, 2008 at 3:47 am rating: +1
#20
César
I love how they changed it from the average “trash-can” to “bins” so that it made less no-sense
Jul 11, 2008 at 4:11 am rating: +1
#21
Jim
Introducing the newly developed Feminine Hygiene Bin Monitor.
http://i33.tinypic.com/1263g2f.jpg
Jul 11, 2008 at 7:05 am rating: +28
#22
Aly
Wow! What a wonderful job! I’m sure they will have thousands of applications.
Jul 11, 2008 at 7:54 am rating: +1
#23
xindi
Dwight Schrute, what were you doing in the ladies’ room?
Jul 11, 2008 at 8:43 am rating: +16
#24
karla
Sandra, is that you? You should be preparing that Mongolian….. WAIT! Is that where you’re getting the BBQ sauce from??? ewwwww
Jul 11, 2008 at 8:55 am rating: +5
#25
Lurker
Due to rampant misuse, the feminine hygiene bins have been removed. Please leave your used feminine hygiene products with Casey in Human Reources.
THX SANDRA
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:03 am rating: +44
#26
Southern Girl
Sadly, as I have seen TOO many times, most women act like they don’t know that feminine hygiene products go in the feminine hygiene bin and not in the floor. That’s just gross! Imagine what their home bathroom must look like.
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:19 am rating: 0
#27
GhostWriter
I would be frightened to work at any place that requires several tampon bins, especially if tossing in a Starbucks cup causes an overflow situation. How many Raggedy Anns are we talking about here? I shudder to think of the daily team meeting that includes three; what if there were a dozen bloody bitches each ready to bite my head off? Screw that; I’m telecommuting.
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:25 am rating: +6
#28
claw71
Am I the only person getting a little tired of the term “feminine hygiene”? Look, I’m a big fan of the old hoohah, but do we really need a special term for everything maintenance issue down there?
I love me some snatch but women take those things way too seriously. The concept of the Vagina Monologues still disturbs me. Not because I’m afraid of vaginas in general but because I’m afraid of specific vaginas. Like Paula Poundstone’s. There are things better left unsaid.
If a chick starts digging around in her panties we call it feminine itching. If her morning once-over didn’t quite do the trick she’s suffering from feminine odor. When guys have to make genital adjustments we’re crude and if we aren’t as attentive as we should be in the shower we’re smelly pigs. How is that fair?
Look, I’m thrilled that I can pee standing up and I think I would kill myself if I had to download a puddle of gore every month but sometimes I think it would be nice to have my junk zipped up in an overhead compartment when not in use. Do you know what it’s like to ride a bike with these things? Can you imagine the pain of sitting on your own nuts? Do you know what testicular torsion is?
Periods and pregnancy are torturous facts of life and I won’t pretend I can begin to understand them but the twig and berries aren’t exactly a picnic. As I write this comment I’m struggling to resist the urge to wrangle a wayward testicle back into the underpants from which he escaped. Earlier, I zipped my pants up too quickly and managed to catch a little foreskin in my zipper. Trust me, even for an expert the male equipment is complicated.
But I digress, I find this note troubling because it makes me wonder what people do with those used tampons and sanitary napkins. Who’s checking those containers to see if other trash gets tossed in there and why? More importantly, what can women possibly be doing in those stalls that would generate a significant amount of non-feminine garbage? These containers are in the stalls, so I would find it hard to believe that candy wrappers and apple cores are being discarded in there.
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:28 am rating: +42
#29
KittyKat
Monitored? Damn! Now where am I going to hide my drugs and sex toys?
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:32 am rating: +6
#30
GhostWriter
“You see, Carla, in the olden days of the 1980’s, some ladies used Kotex, known as feminine napkins. These women have never gotten used to the “intrusive” feeling of a tampon, and still use Kotex to this day. It’s these huge wads of padding that are causing the problem.”
“So those aren’t dirty Swiffers in the bins after all?”
“No, they aren’t. The best we can hope for is that the 40 year olds hit menopause shortly. Then the bins should open up a bit.”
“80’s chicks sure do a lot of crazy shit, don’t they, Mrs. Carmichael?”
“Yes they do, Carla. Yes they do.”
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:39 am rating: +16
#31
Timo
IDIOt MOtHER = IDIOt DAUGHtER
$250 DOLlAr REWARD FOR HYGIENE BIN TRASH STUFFER
I know it is you eating your Arby’s BBQ and drinking lattes in there.
Bullet bandages only, no paint balls.
you have been warned.
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:41 am rating: +7
#32
GhostWriter
If those bins didn’t look so much like travel coolers, I wouldn’t be stuffing my beers in there every Friday. Last week I nearly gagged on a Sam Adams Cherry Wheat.
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:47 am rating: +10
#33
Arielemc
“…download a puddle of gore…”
Bwahahahahaha!
Jul 11, 2008 at 9:50 am rating: +1
#34
djr
So it’s NOT okay to put a gum wrapper in there, but it IS okay to put in a bloody wad of cotton a woman pulled out of her most personal of spaces?
That doesn’t seem right.
Jul 11, 2008 at 10:42 am rating: 0
#35
Kev Orng
Luckily, the technology for monitoring bathroom behaviour was developed by Gary Larson and should only need a few modifications to monitor the femibins.
The relevant Far Side cartoon:
http://tinyurl.com/6mckxm
Jul 11, 2008 at 10:44 am rating: +4
#36
park rose
Soy un perdedor
I’m a misuser baby,
So why don’t you film me.
Jul 11, 2008 at 10:50 am rating: +2
#37
Joyful
So only the misuse of the bins is being monitored? Not the regular use? That’s some advanced technology.
Jul 11, 2008 at 11:56 am rating: +2
#38
Abe Froman
The sign states that “No Trash” should be placed in the bins. Don’t bloody tampons and pads qualify as trash? Should the women just stick em on the wall?
Also the red “Ghostbuster” logo doesn’t have anything in the center, thus meaning “Do not put nothing in the bin”, so technically everything is allowed in the bin!
So glad I’m unemployed and don’t have to deal with these confusing rules in the workplace!
Jul 11, 2008 at 11:57 am rating: +8
#39
pistola
Tiny tampon trash cans should be illegal. When I worked retail it was my job on occasion to clean those foul things out, fucking nasty!
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
#40
Potty Mouth
MMMMMMMMM…Jelly Doughnuts! OMG!!! What’s that doing in the FHP bin?
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:17 pm rating: +3
#41
pistola
“Whoever put that three musketeer’s wrapper in with my bloody tampon will pay!!!”
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:19 pm rating: +2
#42
Potty Mouth
You mean that’s not a magazine rack?
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:20 pm rating: +4
#43
pa gubment stooge
at least they use the bins for something. If I (as a man!) get called one more time to suit up and fish a USED non-flushable feminine product out of the toilet I am going to seal the entire bowl with concrete
Jul 11, 2008 at 12:35 pm rating: +3
#44
claw71
Women these days are so lucky and stupid at the same time. Why would you throw your tampon away when there’s an opportunity to sell it for good money on e-bay? All you have to do is claim that you’re a 14 year-old girl and set up an auction. You might want to stimulate bids by submitting a picture of a girl in that age range but even without one you’ll still get some action.
I’m a guy and I was doing brisk business shipping out bottles of urine to e-pervs but I made the mistake of using a Miley Cyrus publicity photo and I got sued by Bill Ray.
Jul 11, 2008 at 1:34 pm rating: +8
#45
Summer
TAMPONS ARE FOR FLUSHING!!!! Nothing’s worse than bleeding from your crotch once a month for 5 days than having the blood soaked pon laying at the bottom of the trash, any trash bin!! Pads are another issue alltogther, blood clots get stuck in the dry weave. Who uses those things anymore??!?!?!?!?!!?
Jul 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm rating: +3
#46
Timo
FHP BIN MANAGER tRAINING FREE!
Jul 11, 2008 at 3:59 pm rating: 0
#47
God
I have read your issues here and given it careful consideration.
I have decided that I do not care about this. It is too gross!
Do with your tampons what you wish.
Now! Go forth and make it so.
Jul 11, 2008 at 4:06 pm rating: +4
#48
Hehe
Funny… As I was reading this, I got my period. (Mine is very sporadic; I never know when to expect it so it’s always a surprise.)
Jul 11, 2008 at 11:06 pm rating: +1
#49
tropicalwave
I want to know what people were throwing away that caused this note in the first place!!! I mean are we taking out lunches into the john and eating there while taking up space? Oh and apparently they are being monitored because someone (the monitor) obviously said something or posted the note themselves.
So the new job will be someone standing by the sinks and before you are allowed to leave the bathroom they check the stall for any inappropriate things!!! Wait maybe that isn’t a bad idea.
Jul 12, 2008 at 6:56 am rating: 0
#50
Ryan
Why this job would be perfect for you Clarice,
because you’re nothing but poor white trash
Jul 12, 2008 at 10:15 am rating: 0
#51
bob wong
Okay. I read all the posts & since no one has answered the question that has come up repeatedly, I’ll try. The reason they are complaining about other trash is because the garbage from those bins has to be handled differently. The bloody rags are considered a biohazard, and the trash has to be incinerated or picked up by a company that handles hazardous wastes.
It is just like in a hospital where they have different trash recepticals for needles & syringes, used medical tubing (IV lines, etc.), sponges and anything else that might have come in contact with blood.
Most offices don’t have incinerators, so they have to pay a company to pick up the bags of biohazard & dispose of it properly. I guarantee that it costs substantially more than your average garbage service does, so they don’t want regular garbage mixed in, making it cost more.
BTW–I don’t mean to be a buzz kill, this was a really funny thread. #28 and #28.6 had me laughing until tears ran down my face. I just thought maybe some of you would like to know the reason for keeping the garbage seperate.
Jul 12, 2008 at 3:04 pm rating: +4
#52
Soslly
What I really want to know is…where did they get clipart of a FHB???
Jul 12, 2008 at 7:48 pm rating: +1
#53
Mari
Part of my duties as a lifeguard last summer was to clean the bathrooms. I had to empty those bins regularly, and while I don’t care whether or not you put trash in them, I really wish people would put their pads in the bin liner instead of sticking them to the metal. Even with gloves on I don’t want to touch your bloody pads.
We actually owned a bunch of biohazard bags for band-aids and stuff, because the pool had a first-aid room, but the feminine hygiene products went in the dumpster like the rest of the trash. Our management was pretty cheap, so I guess maybe they just didn’t want to pay for the extra inceration.
Jul 12, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: 0
#54
hungrygrrl
I think the logical answer is used needles, actually. That’s one thing you don’t want to be surprised by when you’re cleaning a feminine hygeine bin, nor is something that the user would want to tote out to the regular trash bin in the bathroom.
Jul 13, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: +1
#55
pilgrimchick
Fabulous use of company time right there.
Jul 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm rating: 0
#56
Kate
Are they just mad that the feminine hygiene bins are overflowing with trash that is not used tampons and kotex? I mean, either way, those things should be emptied on a daily basis because of the stench of used feminine hygiene products. Who cares if the bins get full too fast? Or are the Kotex users just pissed because the bins are so full of extraneous material that their bloody Kotex won’t fit in there? I would like to know, though, what else would you PUT in a Kotex/Tampon bin? Usually those are in the bathroom stall. I can’t imagine people even putting paper towels in there, as those are used at a sink. What else could go in there? Shitty toilet paper? Would someone actually wipe their butt and then throw it in the trash?!?
Regardless, I want to know what sort of sick fuck has been rifling through the trash to see what sort of variety of refuse is in there. Sickos.
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:19 pm rating: 0
#57
Kate
Also…. does the poster of this bulletin think that bloody fem-rags are NOT trash?!? This sign says “NO TRASH in feminine hygiene bins”. Hmmm. Maybe this person is like Howard Hughes and collects used tampons and kotex… and that annoying “trash” is just getting in the way.
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:23 pm rating: 0
#58
glastonberry
stopped reading after a few comments
this topic = too gross
Jul 14, 2008 at 4:46 pm rating: 0
#59
Blue Buddha
Holy passive voice, Batman! That’s the worst abuse of the passive voice in writing that I’ve ever seen.
Jul 14, 2008 at 8:10 pm rating: 0
#60
Latex Santa
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where herpes comes from.
Jul 15, 2008 at 4:27 pm rating: 0
#61
misterpain
‘Part of my duties as a lifeguard last summer was to clean the bathrooms. I had to empty those bins regularly…’
There go my Baywatch fantasies.
Oh, hang on, here come some new ones!
Jul 15, 2008 at 11:35 pm rating: +1
#62
casualrepartee
someone must have given Dwight from The Office the position of assistant to the regional manager
Jul 17, 2008 at 3:09 am rating: 0
#63 massive canine infestation | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] related: so many questions [...]
Aug 5, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: 0
#64
Aims
Ladies:
As part of our efforts to reduce overhead and costs, we will be offering free hysterectomies in room 1-114 on the third Friday of each month. You will have the rest of Friday off and the weekend to recover. This should not only reduce our costs related to emptying the FHP bins, but your monthly FH related costs also. We want you to know we are always looking for ways to make our corporate life better!
The Management
Aug 6, 2008 at 9:22 am rating: 0
#65 the man™: now available in convenient mini-me size!
[...] related: so many questions [...]
Oct 16, 2008 at 7:55 pm rating: 0
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