so many questions

July 10th, 2008 · 183 comments

what kind of objectionable trash do you suppose is being disposed of in these bins? (half-eaten curries? yesterday’s times?) how many hours of company time did the sign’s designer spend on this full-color laminated masterpiece? what is that comma doing there? and how, exactly, how are these bins to be monitored?

Reported to Management

related: servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day

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FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · bathroom · clip art catastrophe · garbage · ireland · now that's management · office

183 responses so far ↓

  • #1  zombieBlanco

    Bathroom Monitor Wanted: Must be comfortable with strange smells, sounds, drug use, gay knocking codes and vomiting in urinals. Previous experience as an elementary school hall monitor a plus.

    Jul 10, 2008 at 11:32 pm   rating: +39  

    • #1.1  PandoraWilde

      Will this position have benefits, such as getting to keep any money that accidentally winds up in gross places like feminine hygiene bins?

      Jul 11, 2008 at 3:42 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #1.2  Burghardt

      Question for zB: Why are there urinals and feminine hygiene bins in the same bathroom? Is this a designated transgender bathroom?

      Jul 12, 2008 at 5:58 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #1.3  Canthz_B

      In case the men file a discrimination suit siting the fact that the women get to have a bathroom monitor and the men don’t have one, this bathroom monitor position will require the monitor to “make rounds” .
      Urinal experience is therefore a job requirement.

      Jul 12, 2008 at 9:38 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #1.4  Canthz_B

      Not “siting”, “citing”.

      I read that all weekend and it just now popped out at me! :-o

      Jul 13, 2008 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #2  Quite Contrary

    What concerns me more is how someone determined that the feminine hygeine bins were being misused in the first place. I know I don’t go snooping around in those things.

    Jul 10, 2008 at 11:44 pm   rating: +25  

     
  • #3  Quite Contrary

    I do not envy the management to whom the misuse is reported.

    Jul 10, 2008 at 11:45 pm   rating: +16  

    • #3.1  snee

      i do not envy the reporter.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 2:59 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #3.2  SarahBelle

      Tonight on Channel 12: The economy is crashing because of an abnormally high level of random trash being thrown in feminine product garbage cans in bathrooms. We’ll show you how to create your own P/A note to help curb the problem at 6 with Sandra.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 3:17 am   rating: +25  

       
    • #3.3  Uh Huh

      My new boss is training his subordinates to not come to him with minor things that he doesn’t need to be involved with by offering really terrible advice whenever they do and insisting they follow it. He’s an otherwise intelligent guy so I definitely think this is a strategy - and what a brilliant strategy it is.

      I’m holding out hope that the person who put up this note received similar that’ll-teach-you-to-bother-me advice.

      Workerbee: People are throwing paper towels in the feminine hygiene disposal bins!
      Boss: Then put up a sign. Laminated sign. Use clipart. Say it is being monitored!
      Wrokerbee: That’s ridicu… *boss makes serious face* … I’ll be at the laminating machine.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: +30  

       
    • #3.4  Kev Orng

      Is that Sandra from channel 12 KTHX?

      Jul 11, 2008 at 10:14 am   rating: +22  

       
    • #3.5  Kalieris

      *groan* *snicker*

      Jul 11, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #4  Bort

    What kind of sick bastard self-promotes herself as president of the jelly roll patrol?

    Jul 11, 2008 at 12:17 am   rating: +18  

    • #4.1  Uh Huh

      Oh, that mental picture makes my stomach a little sick.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 9:08 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #4.2  Mishee

      Bort, it would be even worse if the President of the Jelly Roll Patrol is a “He”….

      (on another note, do you have problems finding novelty license plates with your name on it?)

      Jul 11, 2008 at 9:10 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #4.3  jelloegg

      Did you really find a license plate in the feminine disposal?

      Jul 12, 2008 at 12:56 am   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #5  Canthz_B

    Introducing the new and improved CanCam® .

    Jul 11, 2008 at 12:27 am   rating: +13  

    • #5.1  snee

      more convenient than peeping over the stalls.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 2:56 am   rating: +6  

       
     
  • #6  Canthz_B

    What I want to know most is what could they possibly be doing with the used feminine products that requires that they be separated from other refuse?
    Is there a mad scientist down the block or something? These things aren’t recyclable to my knowledge.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: +7  

    • #6.1  j.

      uhh in my experience, the feminine product bins are actually in the stalls, making them more discreet to use instead of taking them with you out of the stall to the regular trashcan.

      i guess they don’t want other trash in them because they’re really small so other trash would be taking up valuable feminine product space.

      maybe they should be emptying them more frequently. i’m sure they’d start smelling funky after a while.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 12:40 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #6.2  Canthz_B

      The rational in me knows why they don’t want other trash in the small bins…but that wouldn’t make for very many funny comments here, now would it j.? :roll:

      Jul 11, 2008 at 12:47 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #6.3  snee

      being rational is over-rated.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 1:35 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #6.4  anglophile

      Oh, CB, stop trying so hard to be funny. You know it annoys the maytagman.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 5:12 am   rating: +14  

       
    • #6.5  se

      Yes, now you don’t want him to come fix your agitator, do you?

      Jul 11, 2008 at 10:31 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #6.6  jelloegg

      I honestly don’t know why I shouldn’t drop other trash in there. I don’t do it because other people don’t.

      Jul 12, 2008 at 12:59 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #7  Canthz_B

    Carol from accounts receivable:

    Mr. Billingsley, I was just looking through the feminine hygiene bins in the Ladies Room and found this half eaten bagel.

    Mr. Billingsley, Sr. VP, Accounting:

    Carol, go wash your hands and then clean out your desk. You’re fired you pervert!

    Jul 11, 2008 at 12:44 am   rating: +15  

     
  • #8  octavius

    So that’s what a feminine hygiene bin looks like. Fascinating. At first I thought it was a shredder.

    Now what would happen if you put …..

    Jul 11, 2008 at 1:00 am   rating: +12  

     
  • #9  secondsout

    Well, when you put the feminine hygiene bins in the men’s room, what do you expect?

    Jul 11, 2008 at 1:47 am   rating: +17  

     
  • #10  secondsout

    The PAN Goddess questions the misplaced comma. Management has more questions about the period, apparently.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 1:50 am   rating: +83  

    • #10.1  Joe

      Maybe the comma is meant to make it read like a newspaper headline — only the writer needed to leave out the “and.”

      “Bin Misuse Will Be Monitored, Reported.”

      I know they do that for the sake of brevity, but I find it to be incredibly awkward. On the plus side, though, it often lets you misread the headline in amusing ways.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 8:17 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #10.2  RandyinReno

      Brilliant, seconds! Best comment of the week!

      Jul 11, 2008 at 12:21 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #10.3  amazon

      I’ll be worried when people start having problems with their colons!

      Jul 11, 2008 at 12:44 pm   rating: +16  

       
    • #10.4  Burghardt

      colon problems merely require *ass-tricks*

      (it’s a stretch, i know, but i’ve enjoyed mispronouncing the word for years)

      Jul 12, 2008 at 6:06 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #10.5  kat

      with friends like those, who needs enemas…

      Jul 14, 2008 at 3:03 am   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #11  secondsout

    So when you dispose of feminine hygiene products, doesn’t that make them trash? So if you can’t put trash in the feminine hygiene product bins, does that mean you can only put unused ones in? I’m confused!

    Jul 11, 2008 at 1:51 am   rating: +6  

     
  • #12  secondsout

    And by “management,” do they mean, Casey in Human Resources? Hasn’t she suffered enough?

    Jul 11, 2008 at 1:53 am   rating: +33  

    • #12.1  Aims

      I just hope they didn’t find any “Big Jobs” in the bin!

      Aug 6, 2008 at 8:40 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #13  SarahBelle

    Those feminine hygiene products were fucking delicious.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 2:01 am   rating: +10  

     
  • #14  Shane

    Monitoring huh? They must have that new Tampon Recognition Software. It’s pretty cool. Read a recent article on it:

    Tampon recognition software attaches numerical values to different features, which can then be checked against a database of existing images. As with fingerprints, a match is assumed when a certain threshold of shared values in the two images has been reached.

    Tampon recognition software has been proposed as a potentially useful way to prevent terroristic tampons from making their way unrecognized through airports. However, there are a few major challenges, among them setting up a reference system against which they could be recognized. As security technologist Brook Schneider, points out, “If the biometric is tampon recognition, you can take good pictures of new tampons when they are created and enter them into the system. Evil tampons are unlikely to pose for photo shoots.”

    The 9/11 attacks reduced public resistance to biometric techniques such as tampon recognition software in public places, even those where terrorists are no more likely to show up than anyone else, such as football stadiums.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 2:07 am   rating: +18  

    • #14.1  Mishee

      Thank GOD they didn’t use that last month when I went to Iowa! I rolled up some joints and put them in a tampon wrapper (sans tampon) to get through security.

      Worked like a charm.

      Jul 14, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #15  KMax

    Blood and DNA tests required of everyone upon hiring.

    The women, for the monitoring of the feminine hygiene bins.

    The men, for the monitoring of the soap dispensers.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 2:11 am   rating: +9  

    • #15.1  snee

      in the good ol’ days you only needed to worry about pee tests for drug use.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 2:52 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #15.2  Will It Work

      Erm, but I thought the point was the men generally don’t use said soap dispensers, even if they have pictures of Jesus on them.

      Upon reflection, I would suggest monitoring the use of lotion in the men’s rooms.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: +7  

       
    • #15.3  KMax

      I actually almost wrote “lotion” instead of soap, but in my experience, there aren’t many men’s rooms that have lotion. One notable exception: my former workplace, where the possible uses for said lotion were an ongoing joke in my department.

      Jul 12, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #15.4  TuesdayPillow

      Wait a second, I thought women were scientifically proven to be cleaner than men - therefore, the men would NEVER go near the soap dispensers for any reason whatsoever.

      Jul 13, 2008 at 12:36 am   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #16  Lo

    If where I work is any indication, some people put used toilet paper in there instead of flushing it. :| NEVER a surprise you want when emptying those things.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 2:37 am   rating: +2  

    • #16.1  snee

      bloody awful!

      Jul 11, 2008 at 2:43 am   rating: +9  

       
    • #16.2  Mishee

      Lo - perhaps you need to compose a note.

      Don’t forget to get a picture.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 8:39 am   rating: +7  

       
    • #16.3  Uh Huh

      but… but… WHHHHHHHHHHHHY!? There is a big, oval flush-enabled hole right next to it for used toilet paper.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #16.4  Canthz_B

      We discussed why on an earlier note:

      #8.3 tragically mep
      You should get out more! You haven’t lived until you have visited a public washroom with full wastebaskets of used TP.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 2:40 pm rating: 0

      #8.4 secondsout
      Yes, CB, believe it or not. Visit a 3rd world country where the plumbing is not so good, and they’ll ask you to throw the used TP in the trash can, not down the toilet. You might think it’s gross, but it’s not near as gross as the toilet overflowing and flooding your house.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:03 pm rating: 0

      #8.5 marcopuffin
      In some countries, you have to put the used toilet paper in a specially placed basket by the side of the toilet

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:05 pm rating: 0

      #8.6 Wade
      Ah, used TP in the wastebasket. That brings back memories of my time in Central America.

      And you thought vomit in the urinal was unpleasant.

      Apr 8, 2008 at 3:06 pm rating: +1

      Three coins in the fountain to the inventor of “copy & paste”.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 5:02 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #16.5  Ewww

      Why the hell don’t people just flush used toilet paper?! That grosses me out… Sadly, I live with someone who decides to put their used toilet paper in the wastebasket (which does not have a top/cover) instead of flushing it down our perfectly capable toilet. Of course, I’m always the one who has to take out the trash so I have to deal with it. (And, no, the person I live with never used to live in a 3rd world country– he’s always lived in the USA.)

      Jul 11, 2008 at 7:25 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #16.6  Quite Contrary

      Have you ever heard of leaving a note? I can’t think of a better message for a batch of pink penises.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #17  snee

    this whole thing is a bleedin’ shame.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 2:46 am   rating: +7  

    • #17.1  xindi

      can’t…help…it. i keep bleedin’, keep keep bleedin’ love.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 11:08 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.2  tinkerbell2

      Not just 3rd world countries - most Greek islands require you to put used paper in a bin as the pipes of their plumbing systems are too narrow to take paper. You do get used to it. Obviously it needs to be a bin with a lid..

      Jul 14, 2008 at 8:44 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #18  snee

    the pregnant women are putting their milk chocolate candy wrappers in the bins.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 2:51 am   rating: +24  

    • #18.1  Uh Huh

      Well, in their defense, they’re not using it for anything else so I guess they kinda deserve the same space as everyone else - right? Wow, my mind is twisted this morning.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 9:17 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #18.2  amazon

      Well, aren’t the preggos puking the big jobs in the “Ladies” Women’s room trash cans?

      Jul 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #19  Neil

    Aside from the obvious. I shiver at the thought of what is being disposed of that warrants misuse of the bins!!

    Jul 11, 2008 at 3:47 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #20  César

    I love how they changed it from the average “trash-can” to “bins” so that it made less no-sense

    Jul 11, 2008 at 4:11 am   rating: +1  

    • #20.1  mango

      Or, you know, they’re British.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 4:39 am   rating: +12  

       
     
  • #21  Jim

    Introducing the newly developed Feminine Hygiene Bin Monitor.
    http://i33.tinypic.com/1263g2f.jpg

    Jul 11, 2008 at 7:05 am   rating: +27  

    • #21.1  Joe

      “I see what you did there.”

      Jul 11, 2008 at 8:20 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #21.2  Tsaiko

      I think this picture needs to be printed out and posted right next to the sign.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 9:36 am   rating: +7  

       
    • #21.3  The Other Leanne

      Ceiling Cat created the note in the first place.

      Jul 11, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #21.4  snee

      team ceiling cat!

      Jul 11, 2008 at 3:02 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #22  Aly

    Wow! What a wonderful job! I’m sure they will have thousands of applications.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 7:54 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #23  xindi

    Dwight Schrute, what were you doing in the ladies’ room?

    Jul 11, 2008 at 8:43 am   rating: +16  

     
  • #24  karla

    Sandra, is that you? You should be preparing that Mongolian….. WAIT! Is that where you’re getting the BBQ sauce from??? ewwwww

    Jul 11, 2008 at 8:55 am   rating: +4  

     
  • #25  Lurker

    Due to rampant misuse, the feminine hygiene bins have been removed. Please leave your used feminine hygiene products with Casey in Human Reources.

    THX SANDRA

    Jul 11, 2008 at 9:03 am   rating: +41  

    • #25.1  Shane

      Lurker gets the Unitard - nah nah nah nah nah!!