Sincerely, Mr. Ed

July 15th, 2008 · 135 comments

Our anonymous submitter in California — pleading innocence — says she was singled out with this note in a barn that houses 60 other horses and their hay.

Hello there, It has come to my attention that you are frequently out of hay. And there seems to be hay missing from a lot of people. My hay in particular seems to be going really fast. I keep careful track of my hay and there are people who are watching my things as well. I do realize that it is expensive to maintain a horse. And we all do what we can for the welfare of our horses. But taking someone's hay is not the answer. I really hope you find another way to deal with your situation. It this continues I will be forced to go to management. We all are here for the horses and there fore must get along, and by stealing you are breeding bad vibes. Also, if you continue to steal that is bad karma for you. What goes around comes around. Try to remember that the next time you steal my hay. Thanks

This note’s lack of obvious sitcom-ish puns — with the exception of “breeding good vibes” — makes me think that maybe I’ve been doing this too long…or perhaps that I haven’t been giving horses enough credit.

related: four legs good, two legs bad
extra credit: fourteen passive-aggressive appetizers [thenewyorker.com]

FILED UNDER: horses, cows, & chickens · I'm telling on you! · karma's a bitch · Los Angeles · stealing


135 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Beth

    Points off for no smiley faces or have a nice day. The threat to go to management is uncreative at best. Throwing in karma gets an extra 0.5 bonus.

    I give it 7.5.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   tinkerbell2

      I’d give it a point for opening with a serious accusation based on almost no evidence. Perhaps the submitter is ‘often out of hay’ because the thief takes her hay first then moves on to the note-writer? But I’m taking off several for lack of horse-related ClipArt.

      6.25 for me.

      Oh, wait, Haynonymous beat me to that conclusion. I’ll get my coat. [Saunters off whistling mournfully]

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Almost Mishee

    Two to show on Bad Vibes.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Mishee bang

    Hey! Filcher! Leave that hay alone!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:15 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   anglophile bang

      Thanks a lot for that earworm, Mishee. :|

      Jul 15, 2008 at 2:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Mishee bang

      you can’t complain when Floyd is the worm!! :D now snap your finger and load a bowl! let’s trip out!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 2:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Mishee bang

    Somebody might want to show the note writer the way to the comma key.

    (on a side note, WHO the fuck is “Almost Mishee”?? Don’t hate me cause you ain’t me!!)

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Not Nearly Mishee

    I (the fuck) am A.M. Sorry, Mishee, I filled in this name at a time when Being Mishee was in high demand. I was not Not Mishee, though. Sorry. I will change my name. I will change it now. Goodbye and sorry, thanks Terry.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mishee bang

      I don’t mind anymore, just haven’t seen a fake Mishee for a while! Believe me, being Mishee is gonna come back into style – I was just attacked twice in one day last week… apparently I am NOT funny and never will be, AND supposedly I attack people at will (instead of just hussies who like to get their toes licked by dogs while getting “adjusted” by her Chiroprator)… but anyways, I digest and it’s WAYYY to early in this note to make the conversation all about me… Yet.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 2:24 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Amanda

      Duder, I didn’t say you never will be funny. Even if I did though, I lack a sense of humor and any taste and was most likely born in a barn.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Mishee bang

      Well Amanda, you might as well fess up that you’ve been pinching the hay then.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Amanda

      It was almost as satisfying as shooting paintballs at Highway Distraction’s front door.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   secondsout bang

    Ahh, California. In the south, the horse owners wouldn’t talk about bad karma and breeding bad vibes; there would be vague threats to hang the person who is stealing hay. In California, however…

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   JT

      You forgot to add “god’s wrath.” A true southerner would have surely threatened some fire & brimstone.

      Jul 23, 2008 at 10:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Jill

    Can’t see the image.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   secondsout bang

    If dude keeps careful track of his hay, maybe he could do an analysis of the local horse’s road apples to see if he can find which horse has been ingesting his oh-so-precious special hay.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:27 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mishee bang

      or he could spike the hay and see which horse gets sick!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 2:28 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   TC

    The New Yorker article is perfect. Almost makes me want to go to culinary school… if I only weren’t so apathetic and self-loathing.

    I fucking hate Cheryl too. Vegetarians are always so self-righteous.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   claw71 bang

    I’d like to put $50 on Bad Karma to win, $100 on Bad Vibes to place and…who’s the “7″ horse?Is that Management? I’ll take it to show.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:29 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Amy

    I’m gonna steal your moms hay.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   amy d bang

    “What goes around, comes around.”

    Submitter is (and by implication, has been) frequently out of hay. Now, hay is missing from “a lot of people”, especially the note-writer.

    I believe he/she has just implicated himself.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   RunBarbara

      When I hear “what goes around comes around” I usually think of an STD….then again, im usually hearing it from Mishee’s mom.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 10:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Haynonymous

    Hmmm, if there is a problem with hay theft, wouldn’t the person running out of the stuff be the least likely suspect? If there was a thief it would be a person who does not run out of hay.

    Just sayin…

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:36 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   snee

      now that’s good horse sense.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 1:38 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   claw71 bang

    What sort of “hay” is this anyway? Seems like people are feeling awfully groovy in this stable.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   snee

      so that’s what they mean by “rolled oats”?

      Jul 16, 2008 at 1:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Quite Contrary

    Dear Thanks:

    It has come to my attention that you frequently jump to conclusions. And there seems to be conclusions missing from a lot of people. My conclusions in particular seem to be going really fast. I keep very careful track of my conclusions and there are people who are watching my conclusions as well.

    I do realize it is difficult to obtain facts and proof. And we all do what we can for the welfare of others. But jumping to conclusions is not the answer. I really hope you find another way to deal with your situation. If this continues I will be forced to go to management.

    We all are here for the horses and there fore must get along, and by jumping to conclusions you are breeding bad vibes. Also, if you continue to jump to conclusions that is bad karma for you. What goes around comes around.

    Try to remember that the next time you jump to conclusions.

    Hello There.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:40 pm   rating: 114  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Amanda

      Perfect

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Mariel

      Win.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   tropicalwave bang

      Thank you for sharing my thoughts… Much appreciated.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 1:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   amy d bang

    This note was obviously written by a scarecrow.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Kev Orng

      I could stand around for hours
      Under my own power
      If I only had some hay;
      And my head I’d be scritchin’
      cause I might be kinda itchin’
      If my head was stuffed with hay

      I’d stuff it in my middle
      Use the rest to soak up piddle
      sleep on it night and day;
      (everybody)
      There would be less melodrama,
      you’d know where to put the comma,
      If you only had some hay

      I would not be just a nuffin’
      If my head was full of stuffin’
      and my heart was feelin’ gay;
      I would dance and be merry
      Life would be a ding-a-derry
      If I only had some hay.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:22 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   bellabeastie

      Ray Bolger is dancing again on the Yellow Brick Road.

      “I sing this song to myself
      No oil can on my shelf”

      When I’m having a bad day…

      “ohhh I can tell you why the ocean meets the shore..
      I could think some thoughts you never thought before…
      and then I’d think
      and think some more..”

      Jul 15, 2008 at 9:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   claw71 bang

    You know, I just can’t resist a little CCR for this one:

    HAY, tonight…
    don’t steal my hay tonight
    I’ve got people spying
    tonight

    Hay, come on
    it’s not something to borrow
    tonight, tonight

    Gonna hide up in the rafters
    watching down
    You need to get religion
    burn in hell

    Hay come on
    I’ll have to buy a gun
    tonight, tonight

    Hay tonight
    don’t steal hay tonight
    Don’t even try your lying
    tonight, tonight.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:46 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Bikerbabee

      Hay man, nice shot.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   claw71 bang

    Won’t somebody please think of the horses?

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:47 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   secondsout bang

      I think it’s the horses who are stealing the hay. Really, why would any human want the hay? It doesn’t sound too appetizing. But if I were a horse, hay sounds scrumptious.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 2:53 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Joe bang

    Maybe it’s not theft; maybe it’s just your run-of-the-mill abiogenesis. The hay is just turning into mice.

    - Aristotle

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Mishee is a fat pig who eats boogers and smokes cheap weed

    Horses aren’t as hung as you’d think.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Mishee's stinky panties

      Yeah. Horses suck.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 2:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   amy d bang

      Hayters.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:05 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Mishee bang

      (little do they know I actually flick my boogers!)

      (and just cause I live in CA where the good weed is not reason to be jealous)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Ignatz

      I’m always fascinated to see how people can be so obsessed with those they choose to put down.
      Is this some sort of inability to express one’s affection in a properly adult manner? Is this something like love taps on the playground?

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   Amanda

      I always preferred love punches in the uterus

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   Mishee bang

      Ummm, I don’t care who I put down Ignatz.

      I am an Equal Opportunity Insulter.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   amy d bang

      Mish, I believe Ignatz was talking about the Mishee-hayters and not The Mishee. :D

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   Canthz_B bang

      Looks like Iggy was on your side, Mishee.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.9   Mishee bang

      I wasn’t attacking him/her. I was merely stating a fact! :D

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.10   GhostWriter bang

      For those who might prefer it, I can whip up a wicked “love punch” that’ll go straight to your uterus. It’s always a hit at baby showers.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.11   bellabeastie

      Whomever said horses aren’t hung have never been to the farm… barn, whatever.

      I’m a city grrrll and even I know that! ;)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Fresca

    What kind of passive-aggressive appetizers can one make with hay, I wonder?

    Jul 15, 2008 at 2:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   anglophile bang

      Obviously, one would make horse duvers.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Shane

      you could make STRAWberry shortcake. ;-)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   PixelPerfect

      Hay Stack Cookies?

      Jul 15, 2008 at 5:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   amy d bang

    I should have gigglebraxed this to 21, sorry.

    Anyway, Fresca, how about hay fever?

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    I’m loaded with bad vibes.
    I wonder what I could charge a breeder in stud fees.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:02 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   secondsout bang

      Just how badly were you hoping to screw horses?

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Canthz_B bang

      The note refers to vibe breeding, not horse breeding.
      The vibes are bred in people.
      Besides, I can’t handle anything larger than a Shetland Pony! ;-)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Mishee bang

      I don’t know CB, you are a black man (OMG! you are???)… I think you could take a little filly, at least, with no problem…

      That is, if the rumor is true…

      as for claw… well.. we are all aware of his girth

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   PixelPerfect

      CB – Inbred people breed bad vibes.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 5:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Canthz_B bang

      Since I’m not in a good mood I probably took that the wrong way Pixel, so I’ll not respond. ;-)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 5:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   PixelPerfect

      Whoops!… that wasn’t directed towards you! Sorry – I should have re-read that before posting.

      I have much love for you… Please don’t hurt me.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 6:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Joe bang

      Responding to say you won’t respond? I’ve never understood that. Is that the PA way to say “bugger off”?

      Jul 16, 2008 at 7:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   RunBarbara

      if CB and claw joined forces, i bet they could break a horse the old-fashioned way.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 10:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   Canthz_B bang

      No Joe, It’s the CB way of saying “I’ll let you keep your jugular for now.” :evil:

      Jul 16, 2008 at 9:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Kev Orng

    My my, hay hay;
    Bad karma is here to stay;
    Whoever took it,
    is gonna pay;
    My my, hay hay.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   DanOhh

    Say Nay! to Frayed Hay!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   glastonberry

    “Hello there” ?

    This guy’s smoking his hay.

    And it reminds of Happy Gilmore, to wit:

    Just stay out of my way or you’ll pay, listen to what I say.

    Hey, why don’t I just go and eat some hay. I can lay by the bay, make things out of clay, I just may, what’d ya say?

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Delurker

    It’s true, what goes around comes around, so just follow the horses around with a shovel. You’ll get your hay back, honestly.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:19 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   sizeXS

    I must confess. I stole the hay. Fortunately, that hay was fucking delicious!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Mishee bang

      sizeXS – all we have is this ratty “One Size Fits All” with “Fucking Delicious” scrawled across the chest.

      You know what you have to do now…

      I hope it’s not too big, but you should have thought about that before you said it!! :D

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:33 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Fresca

      I would so wear that.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Mishee bang

      Great, now people are fighting over the Unitard??

      Make a note to tell Troy to order more Unitards! I didn’t think we have such a rush!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Canthz_B bang

    The writer is not there for the horses.
    He/She is clearly there for good vibes and tranquil karma.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Jeshi

    Let me just say,

    That hay was fuckin delicious

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   sizeXS

      Is there an echo, or are you just trying to get in my unitard…

      Jul 15, 2008 at 3:31 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Schuyler Hauser bang

    A little David Bowie:

    Hay, man
    Oh, leave me alone
    Hay, man
    Oh, Henry, get off that roan
    Hay, man
    I gotta straighten my face
    This mellow-thighed horse just put my stall out of place

    I also noticed that the writer says that they keep close track on their hay and people are watching their hay. If so, why not confront the perpetrator with, “Dude, don’t bogart my hay!”

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   unholyghost2003 bang

    I’m with S’Out @ 18.1. Anyone who has ever owned a horse has seen said horse steal shit. Given any opportunity a horse with snatch apples from a barrel, cokes from the counter, and hay from anywhere nearby. My mother’s childhood horse would steal bubblegum from local children.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Kev Orng

      I agree, I knew a horse one time who robbed a liquor store at gun point. Shot an innocent passerby and ended up holed up with a bunch of hostages in a 7-11 before the swat team took him down.

      Horses are thieves. Fuck horses!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:03 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Hihosilver

      I was just reading an interview with this famous horse that confessed to “juicing” when he was competing and implicated others. He woke up the day after the Congressional hearing with his jockeys head in his bed.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   bellabeastie

      AND sometimes they can even answer the phone !!

      Wiiillbuuuuurrr it’s for you !! :)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Summer

    Nay saying hay taker!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Canthz_B bang

      A horse is a neigh-sayer. ;-)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Fresca

      At least we always know how they’re going to vote.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   Canthz_B bang

      Especially in a straw poll!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:14 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Canthz_B bang

    “Hey Jude”–Beatles

    ‘Hay’ Dude,
    I am no thief.
    Take your problems,
    Up with the management.
    Keep your nose,
    Out of Black Beauty’s stall.
    I have folks too,
    Who watch over my shit.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 3:59 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Ryan

    Wiiiiiiiild Horsesssssss could be stealllllin yourrrrr haaaaaaaaaaay!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 4:10 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Zsa

    Thank God I never had to board my horses (we had a barn). I got enough drama from the jodhpur-wearing, richie-rich blondies in my hunt-jump classes. “You sneezed when I went over that jump and it is ALL YOUR FAULT my horse knocked the rail and was disqualified. Waaaaa… Daddy! buy my way back into the finals!”

    Jul 15, 2008 at 4:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Cowgirlgraphics

      Although I love “hay burners” as my hay farming hubby calls them, it’s the snobs that make owning a horse no fun. What? You don’t have the right logo/saddle/leg wraps/boots/trailer …. ? type of people that ruin the fun for trail riders like me. I’ll stick to my cows …for some reason the snobs down’t like to smell ‘em, but have no problem pulling up to the table to eat ‘em!

      Jul 16, 2008 at 10:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Mishee bang

    I am coming up with a new site: http://www.icanhazbarley&oats.com and my first one will be a horse stealing hay with the caption:

    “iz in ur barn
    steelin’ ur hay!”

    Jul 15, 2008 at 4:26 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Ryan

      All Your Bales Are Belong to Us.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:28 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   amy d bang

      O Hay! I wuz jus countin theez aples for u.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:30 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.3   Mark bang

      Ceiling Horse sez, “Get me the fuck down from here!”

      Jul 15, 2008 at 4:38 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.4   Sue Do Nim

      ur hay it has a flavur

      Jul 15, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.5   RunBarbara

      basement horse sez. “steeel hay, drink beerz!”

      Jul 16, 2008 at 10:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Bunnee

    Someone needs to let the letter-writer know that “therefore” is one word. And, “I keep careful track of my hay and there are people watching my things.” Geesh! Paranoid much? How, pray tell, can you keep track of HAY?! (that’s like trying to find a needle in a, um,…never mind)

    Jul 15, 2008 at 5:01 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Cowgirlgraphics

      While I certainly agree about the spelling … I must defend the PA note poster. Hay costs about $5 a bale (and probably more depending on the quality.) If you are buying and feeding your horse hay you know exactly how many “flakes” (the fold in the bale) your horse eats per day. Nobody like a freeloader. Certainly you would be annoyed if your neighbor was taking a scoop of your dog’s food everyday or siphoning a gallon of gas a night from your car.

      I’m *just* saying …

      Jul 16, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Mung Bean

    Is there a reason why no one is blaming the horse for this state of affairs? Maybe he’s like some kind of evil genius horse, who can unlatch his little gate, walk on over, scarf down other horses’ hay, and then scurry back and make it look as if nothing happened.

    I think this theory warrants further investigation.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 5:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Bunnee

      It sounds to me like the horses nick(er)ed the hay! (I know, it’s a stretch…)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 5:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Timo

    Hello back,
    You have not looked closely or you would see that it is Sarah Jessica Parker I am hiding in my stall. She does not eat hay nor Timothy grass. However if you have some righteous bud I am sure she would bogart that. Just a warning. As soon as the fallout from that piece of crap movie subsides she will be gone. So chill barn friend never met.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 5:21 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Schuyler Hauser bang

      Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”

      Jul 15, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Mishee, I Am Your Biggest Fan

    For the love of God, tell me that’s not a hay sandwich in the clip-art bin!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 5:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Mishee bang

      If you are my biggest fan, why don’t I have more plussed comments?!

      Figures, I would get the one lazy, stoner fan…

      That’s what I get for advertising on G4 and Cartoon Network!

      :D

      Jul 15, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   Asspanda Patrol

      It’s official. This thread is now officially all about Mishee.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 8:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.3   Mishee bang

      41.2- aren’t they ALL about me?

      Shit, I guess I have been slacking if you just realized that today!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.4   secondsout bang

      All the comments about horses and eating hay; yup, they’re about Mishee!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 8:45 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.5   bellabeastie

      Oooo — snap !!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.6   Mishee, I Am Your Biggest Fan

      Oops, my bad. The hay pipe was fucking delicious (but a wee bit disorienting).

      Thumbs up to Mishee!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 10:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   Sydney

    Shorter PAN: I think you might be stealing hay. No, wait, I’m SURE you’re stealing my hay. Scratch that, I know you WILL steal my hay in the future! So when you steal my hay, remember this note. Thank you.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Victoria

    Hay,
    I have a horse. This hay stealing thing is so bad I sleep in my horse’s stall, and she stays at home in my AIR CONDITIONED house. Hay is very expensive, more expensive than a horse. Better off just buying hay. Hay can’t ever buck you off or bite you. Safer, cheaper, better.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 6:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   bellabeastie

      *snarky comment avoided due to current bad mood* … couldn’t even buck you off or bite you if you wanted it to.

      Safer, cheaper, better . Haha get the joke. UR so funny !

      P.S. — (it would if it could) just saying.

      Jul 15, 2008 at 9:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Canthz_B bang

    Mister Ed: Yes, Wilbur. I stole the hay. What are you going to do about it?

    Wilbur Post: *picks up telephone* Operator, get me the Acme Glue Company please.

    Mister Ed: 8-O

    Jul 15, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   secondsout bang

    Hay Hay, what can I do?
    I’ve been out running and I’m hungry too
    Hay Hay, what can I say?
    I got a jockey wanna ride all day
    Hay Hay, what can I do?
    I’m a big horse, I eat hay all the time
    Hay Hay, what can I say?
    I said I got a little jockey that I wish I threw

    Jul 15, 2008 at 8:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Mishee bang

    We could always have Frau Blücher come over to the stables and teach those thieving horses a thing or two.

    I hear they are terrified of her!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 8:19 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   RandyinReno

      Don’t they have huge schwashtukas?

      Jul 15, 2008 at 8:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #46.2   Qwerty

      YES!! Young Frankenstein reference! I loved you before, Mishee, but now you have gone beyond the realms of mere earthly adoration.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #46.3   Mishee bang

      You have enjoyed another “Misheeism®”

      I’ll be here all week, please plus my comment, and don’t forget to tip your waitress!! :D

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #46.4   Canthz_B bang

      Try the veal! ;-)

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #47   ArchivistJohn

    Everybody knows HAY is for horses.

    Jul 15, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Mark bang

      That was my very first thought when I saw this thread, but I decided not to post it — it wouldn’t have fit as comment #2 or 3, but OK as 47.

      “Hay’s for horses, not for people”

      Jul 16, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   Mishee bang

      I always knew it as “Hay is for horses, and cows like you” – something you say to your BFF when she walks up and says “Hey!”..

      My step-dad always says “Hay is the first stage of horse shit”…

      Jul 16, 2008 at 11:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.3   Numinous bang

      Great, now I have a song stuck in my head.

      *hums*
      “Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and little lamsy divey, A kiddly divey, too – wouldn’t you?…”

      http://www.rhapsody.com/player?type=track&id=tra.359835&remote=false&page=&pageregion=&guid=&from=&hasrhapx=false&__pcode=

      Jul 16, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      ummm I THINK you mean to say “Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid’ll eat ivy too wouldn’t you? Oh! a kid’ll eat ivy too.”

      Jul 16, 2008 at 3:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      Oh! responded before you back edited the song link in with the screwy lyrics

      Jul 16, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.6   Numinous bang

      Just so you know, if you ever see sheet music for that song, it is spelled all screwy like that. At least until the verse where they say it slowly….

      Jul 16, 2008 at 8:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Lisa

    Dear Thanks,

    I don’t know what you are talking about. I have never, nor will I ever steal hay.

    Straw on the other hand…

    Signed,
    Hello There

    Jul 15, 2008 at 9:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   xindi

    hay is such a funny word… just wondering, is this the same management to go to for hygiene bin issues?

    Jul 15, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   agirlie

    HAY!

    Jul 15, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Schuyler Hauser bang

    All this talk of horses makes me think of only one thing:

    “Blücher!”

    Jul 15, 2008 at 10:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #51.1   Canthz_B bang

      All this talk as in comment #46? ;-)

      Jul 15, 2008 at 10:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #51.2   Schuyler Hauser bang

      Uh… yeah. Look, over there!

      Jul 15, 2008 at 11:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #52   snee

    you steal my hay?!

    BUCK YOU!

    Jul 16, 2008 at 1:59 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   tropicalwave bang

    I think the writer should fire the people that are watching his hay because if his hay is being stolen then they aren’t doing their job.

    You know the first place I would look is at those that are supposed to be watching, they are stealing. Come on if you are going to jump to conclusions lets jump on all of them…

    Jul 16, 2008 at 2:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   aaa

    y hello thar. buttsecks?

    Jul 16, 2008 at 7:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #54.1   Mishee bang

      once more, the importance of nesting your comments (gigglebraxing) makes an example of someone.

      “gigglebraxing! ur doin it rong!”

      (must share credit with amy girl! :D )

      Jul 16, 2008 at 8:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     

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