marcus in leicester, u.k. found this stuck to the lid of the toilet by one of his housemates. “i’d understand if it was the seat,” he says, “but the lid?”
i’m with marcus, here — i don’t think this is some kind of dear abby “does the toilet paper go over or under?” type issue. is there anyone else who considers closing the toilet lid de rigueur?
related: dearest roommate
621 responses so far ↓
#1
SarahBelle
Dearest housemate,
I’m a dude. We don’t do that shit.
Jul 17, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: +23
#2
JanScholl
my daughter is so spazz about the lid being down. She doesn’t want the cats to drink from it. I have news for her-it wont stop them or the dogs if they really want to drink from the porcelain crown. Mine lift the lid, drink and then scoot back and the lid falls back into place.
Jul 17, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: +3
#3
Atheros
It’s considered more hygienic to do so, but I wasn’t aware it was the social norm. Certainly not something to write a passive-aggressive note about (heck, what is?).
Jul 17, 2008 at 11:55 pm rating: +4
#4
Julie
I read once that it was better if you have children to close the lid. I don’t have kids, and I’m not planning on having them for a long time, but I’ve gotten myself in the habit just in case I go over to someone’s house who has them. That way I won’t be at fault if the kid drowns in the toilet.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:01 am rating: +16
#5
Eww
I think the leave the lid down norm (and everywhere I have been it is a norm) came from when there used to be sewer rats who would crawl out of unclosed toilets.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:01 am rating: +2
#6
L
i always close the lid. you don’t have as many germs floating around that way, or at least thats what i like to tell myself.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:03 am rating: +5
#7
Canthz_B
Social norm or family custom?
Of all the things prospective roommates need to be clear on before moving in together, this ranks beneath last on the list.
As long as the toilet is flushed after use why hide the water? Everyone knows what’s in there.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:03 am rating: +16
#8
Bikerbabee
Dearest Roomie,
I thought it was awesome and mature of people to have actual face to face conversations of this sort, but, thanks for giving my friends at PAN a new note to snark over.
Marcus.
I have some penis stickers and glitter for you to put on there too Marcus.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:09 am rating: +6
#9
Quite Contrary
I leave the lid down so my cat can sit on the toilet and paw at and shred the toilet paper.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:16 am rating: +24
#10
Quite Contrary
Dearest Roomie: No. I was aware. And I didn’t find the information helpful.
Signed, Marcus
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: +24
#11
Lo
I’ve had a snake crawl out of my toilet before, so I freak out when anyone leaves the lid up, as well.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:28 am rating: +5
#12
Beadknitter
It’s not in the MissManners book of good etiquette, but why have a lid on the thing if you’re not supposed to close it? In addition, I grew up in earthquake territory. You close the lid to keep things from falling into the toilet during an earthquake, no?
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:32 am rating: +13
#13
amanda
Lid should be down. Otherwise when you flush, all the minute water particles with bits of poo in them will fly across the room and onto your toothbrush. (However I would have just asked nicely, not left a note…)
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:34 am rating: +4
#14
Canthz_B
After doing a fair bit of Googling on this I guess the lid should be down, especially if you have that four-piece bathroom rug and toilet set!
I haven’t found the stats on “toilet-lid-left-up” related deaths however.
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:51 am rating: +8
#15
Chelsea
I suppose some people have an issue with certain things, like toilet lids being down. If you have a quirky thing that tends to bug you, why not ask nicely before bustin’ out the PAN?
Jul 18, 2008 at 12:51 am rating: +1
#16
Canthz_B
Dearest Roomie,
I have noticed that you are diligent about closing the toilet lid after use.
Could you please in future take a peek inside the bowl before leaving the bathroom? I’m tired of being surprised by your “floaters”.
Marcus
Jul 18, 2008 at 1:12 am rating: +28
#17
Ryan
Who the hell is this “Social Norm” – ?
Mind your own business Norm…. Just shut up already. No one asked you or wants your goddamn opinion!
Jul 18, 2008 at 1:17 am rating: +31
#18
Ryan
Take the goddamn note and superglue it to the inside of the toilet bowl. Cover the whole damned thick with clear-drying glue. Now the note’s a permanent fixture in the house – just like the sink!
That will serve as a reminder to everyone and will save the note’s author a lot of trouble in the future.
Jul 18, 2008 at 1:21 am rating: +6
#19
David
the only time i regularly put the lid and all down is when i worked with a couple of women who made a big deal out of the guys leaving the seat up. if you close the lid, the ladies get the equal treatment of having to open the toilet instead of the special deal they really want, which is to just sit on it without even looking. since the men have to reposition the seat anyway, they never notice the difference.
Jul 18, 2008 at 1:23 am rating: +21
#20
Lis
For some reason I associate a closed lid with a clogged toilet, and am always apprehensive about what I’ll find underneath when I see that the lid is down.
Jul 18, 2008 at 1:27 am rating: +29
#21
Zoe
Bear in mind that when you flush the toilet without the lid down, tiny bits of shit and/or piss fly up and out of the toilet, and onto you. It’s best for everyone if you put the lid down before you flush, thereby avoiding any seat up/down arguments (as everyone has to lift something up and put it back down) AND avoid having shit and/or piss sprayed all over you and everything else in the room every time you go to the toilet. Win-win solution.
Jul 18, 2008 at 2:01 am rating: 0
#22
Candice
My last apartment had a very tiny bathroom, and the only flat surface was a shallow shelf that continued across the entire wall — including over the toilet. I insisted that the lid be down just because otherwise thing on the shelf were easily knocked into the bowl. Otherwise, who cares. As a female with mostly male friends, I’m usually in the minority as far as seat/lid up/down goes. I accept it. Really… is it that big of a deal?
Jul 18, 2008 at 2:23 am rating: +1
#23
Candice
BTW, to everyone concerned that there’s poo spraying onto your toothbrush if you don’t close the lid… Guess what!? E coli is EVERYWHERE. Closing the toilet lid will NOT SAVE YOU. You’re probably just coating your hands with it by touching the lid to begin with…
Jul 18, 2008 at 2:25 am rating: +5
#24
Marie
Those teeny-tiny, barely visible to the naked eye bugs are freaking delicious.
Jul 18, 2008 at 2:51 am rating: +11
#25
cha0s
Sometimes I do it just fo damage control, if you catch my drift (hopefully you won’t in that case!)
Jul 18, 2008 at 3:10 am rating: +1
#26
BellyBionic
The lid goes down at my house so the blindingly stupid cat doesn’t fall in when he gets the zoomies.
Jul 18, 2008 at 3:26 am rating: +5
#27
Scaryduck
Look, men use the toilet more than women (who, I suspect, have some sort of cork arrangement going on). This is backed up by FACTS which I have just made up.
Therefore, statistics dictate that it is the women who should leave the seat up for men and not vice-versa.
Just sayin’.
Jul 18, 2008 at 3:35 am rating: +17
#28
Neil
For a guy it is a “social norm” to leave the lid up.
Jul 18, 2008 at 3:44 am rating: +2
#29
jess
If my toilet lid was left down by some malicious spaz, I probably would sit on it blindly at 3 in the morning and pee all over my self.
Jul 18, 2008 at 4:10 am rating: +16
#30
Sydney
Better safe than sorry with the lid. If the lid is up, then there’s even odds I will knock something — probably a toothbrush, plant, or cat — off a shelf and right into the toilet water. We use those bleach tabs in the toilet tank and I’m not keen on finding out how expensive it is to treat a cat that’s been dunked in bleach.
Jul 18, 2008 at 4:12 am rating: +2
#31
Mark
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1839
Jul 18, 2008 at 4:50 am rating: 0
#32
Kha
It isn’t a social norm, but it certainly should be. No one wants to see what your roommate ate for dinner last night floating in front of you to see.
Either way, nothing to write a passive aggressive note about.
Jul 18, 2008 at 5:38 am rating: +1
#33
Rain
I leave the toilet lid up at home. I leave the toilet lid down when I’m working at my daycare. I don’t think any of he kids will drown in it, but the toddlers delight in seeing what they can flush down the toilet if an older child mistakenly leaves the door open. Goodbye wallet! Goodbye house keys! Hello clogged mess, soaked floor, and children who all of a sudden need to all pee Right Now.
Jul 18, 2008 at 6:01 am rating: +13
#34
MSchmahl
Given the fact that there are so many reasons to be in the bathroom other than using the toilet, I prefer the lid to be down. I have heard people argue about the seat-up/seat-down issue, but I have always felt that the existence of the lid makes the whole argument moot.
I agree with previous posters regarding seeing what roommates have left behind. Occasionally, the flush doesn’t work all the way, and the bowl is not left with pristine, drinking-quality water.
Not that I would write a note about this. I don’t like confrontation, but I would be willing to ask the ‘offender’ personally to leave the contents of the bowl out-of-sight.
Jul 18, 2008 at 6:29 am rating: +1
#35
grumpygranolagirl
My cat almost drowned while he was playing in the toilet. His front paws got stuck in the toilet, his back legs were on the seat and the water was up to his chin. Poor thing decided to do this at 3:00 a.m. and he howled for hours before I woke-up and rescued him. His legs were starting to give-out when I got him and if I hadn’t finally woke-up, we would’ve had a tragedy on our hands.
Since then, we are strict with the “lid-down” rule. We also bought a “dental organizer” to keep the toothbrushes covered because of the germ thing.
We watch ‘Monk’ so we can pick-up OCD lifestyle tips. (We’re not that bad, really. The cat’s near-drowning incident was pretty awful and so the lid-down thing is probably our biggest rule.)
Jul 18, 2008 at 7:14 am rating: +2
#36
TygerAKC
I’m a clutz. My 7 yr old daughter is a clutz. needless to say, anything dropped in the restroom seems to fall in the toilet. (it’s the butter side down of the restroom.) Seat down!
On a different note…the guys at mythbusters did a thing on the germs from the toilet…I believe they busted that myth.
Jul 18, 2008 at 7:52 am rating: +3
#37
booge
You should be disgusted every time you use the toilet whether or not the lid’s down. Use Purel and wear a goddamn mask. You should also be disgusted by filthy, filthy money–how many of those dollar bills have been in somebody’s nose for cocaine purposes? And you can get scabies from trying on clothes at Nordstrom! I don’t know if you’re careful enough, really. Google “intestinal parasites” today. And make sure your hepatitis shot is current. It’s clear your roommate is not on your side. What, with his rocket poo flakes. It’s like diarrhea Christmas in here.
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:07 am rating: +39
#38
nic
Marcus, your housemate is a whiny bitch. I hope she finds this information helpful.
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:24 am rating: +15
#39
Canthz_B
I’m almost 47 years old and have rarely been more than mildly ill and only with our common communicable diseases (cold, flu and the like).
I think I’ll continue to trust my immune system, and not stress over common germs that I am exposed to each day inside of and outside of my bathroom.
I’m a lid up guy for the most part and am amazed at how many have expressed concern over dropping things into the toilet. I haven’t dropped anything in mine other than what I intended to drop there in literally years!
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:24 am rating: +7
#40
Leslie
I have also heard that flushing with the lid up can spray germs in the area up to 20′. I cringe when I have to use a public toilet and there is no lid to close. My husband knows it makes me happy to have the lid closed and it is a small thing he can do to make me happy. (no, I have never nagged him about it, he is just sweet like that)
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:26 am rating: +1
#41
nic
I purposely leave the lid up for my cat. Hey, I leave her fresh water but all she will drink is toilet water and puddles. Snob.
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:27 am rating: +7
#42
claw71
I have to call asshole on the person who wrote this note. There are so many genuine toilet fouls out there. The list of nonflushing violations is so long that harping on the position of the lid, which happens to be an optional toilet component in the first place, is trifling and rude.
In my opinion the worst offense is the unflushed overload. Kids are notorious for using a half a roll of double-ply toilet paper and then they won’t flush which leaves the next person stuck with not only having to execute a pre-potty flush but then they have to rummage around for a plunger to shove the load down. Fortunately the poo to paper ratio in this instance minimizes fecal confrontation. That’s not the case when somebody has the beer shits and forgets to flush.
One of the most annoying offenses is the mellow yellow violation. I dig conserving water but it’s disheartening to walk into the restroom and find straw-colored water welcoming you. That leaves you with two options: defecate and risk splashing, which is going to happen because you end up trying to ease the turds into the water; or you flush the toilet and end up trying to flush your own deposit with inadequate pressure.
The only good reason to put the lid down is to minimize the risk of toilet casualties in a cluttered restroom. Since this is an apartment I can only imagine that the bathroom gets pretty cramped and I wouldn’t be surprised if the person who wrote this note had to fish a can of Barbasol out of the toilet after bumping it with his elbow. If that’s the case I would advise the note writer to consider a brief hazard assessment before he starts his morning routine. It’s not difficult to close the lid.
I have to call asshole on the person who wrote this note. There are too many genuine toilet fouls out there. The list of nonflushing violations is so long that harping on the position of the lid, which happens to be an optional toilet component in the first place, is trifling and rude.
In my opinion the worst offense is the unflushed overload. Kids are notorious for using a half a roll of double-ply toilet paper and then they won’t flush which leaves the next person stuck with not only having to execute a pre-potty flush but then they have to rummage around for a plunger to shove the load down. Fortunately the poo to paper ratio in this instance minimizes fecal confrontation. That’s not the case when somebody has the beer shits and forgets to flush. I’ve never been able to figure out what to do with a plunger that’s been used like a potato masher. My normal routine of placing it on the head of whoever left soldiers behind seems to irritate people.
One of the most annoying offenses is the mellow yellow violation. I dig conserving water but it’s disheartening to walk into the restroom and find straw-colored water welcoming you. That leaves you with two options: defecate and risk splashing, which is going to happen because you end up trying to ease the turds into the water (I swear that water gets way up there too); or you start fresh and end up trying to flush your own deposit with inadequate pressure.
The only good reason to put the lid down is to minimize the risk of toilet casualties in a cluttered restroom. Since this is an apartment I can only imagine that the bathroom gets pretty cramped and I wouldn’t be surprised if the person who wrote this note had to fish a can of Barbasol out of the toilet after bumping it with his elbow. If that’s the case I would advise the note writer to consider a brief hazard assessment before he starts his morning routine. It’s not difficult to close the lid.
Another valid point I’ve heard discussed is the skid mark factor. Nobody wants to walk into a bathroom and be confronted with the remnants of the turd that wouldn’t quit but putting the lid down only delays the inevitable. It’s like some sick jack-in-the-box waiting to give you a morning case of the willies.
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:29 am rating: +13
#43
Kate
Yup. Can’t let the cats drink from it!
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:35 am rating: 0
#44
Leslie
Canthz_B, you have written a lot on here. May a sister put in her 2 cents just once?
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:48 am rating: +1
#45
Kev Orng
Lid position would be less of an issue if the toilet was regularly cleaned. But I’m not going to retype that whole story about my ex-housemate and his shitsicles.
Anyways, in spite of my previous comments, I used to be unconcerned about seat and lid position, but now, like so many others posting here, I have a cat. On top of that, I spend too much time cleaning the house as it is, I’ve come to appreciate a closed toilet.
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:50 am rating: +5
#46
Kate
I HATE when people put the lid DOWN. It’s an extra step; that’s just wasteful!
Also, I have a cat that drinks from the toilet, so as long as the seat is up, I don’t worry that he lacks for water. Also, he’s less inclined to shred the toilet paper if he’s distracted by a shiny bowl of water.
Jul 18, 2008 at 8:56 am rating: +3
#47
Melanie
I put the lid down (as a woman) because it reinforces my demand that the seat be down.
As long as I put the lid back down every time, I can look at ‘him’ and say, “I lift and lower the lid every time. You can lift and lower the seat and lid. Every time. Such a big strong man as you couldn’t _possibly_ ::bats eyelashes:: notice such a little bit of extra weight!”
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:00 am rating: +1
#48
Amy
Lid down at my house – kids & pets + open toilet = yuck!
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:07 am rating: 0
#49
Toby
My lid is always down. Our medicine cabinet is positioned directly above the toilet – I don’t want any of that stuff to fall in the bowl!
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:07 am rating: +1
#50
Uh Huh
If leaving the lid up is Marcus’ worst offense, this note writer should hang onto him as a roommate for dear life.
I didn’t start closing the lid regularly until I got a small, mentally affected kitten. When he was big enough that the toilet no longer posed a drowning threat, I started leaving the lid up again. He immediately started using it as a super fun time kitten splashing pool. The lid went back down.
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:08 am rating: +6
#51
Mishee
I am so glad that I am not the only one with Kitty issues… the lid stays down cause I don’t want to have kitty fall in… not cause I care about Kitty getting wet, but usually after she falls in, she decides to come over and sit in my lap (presumably because she is pissed that the big white thing got her wet). But she still loves to sit on the tank and watch me take a shower. It’s kind of creepy.
WTF is with cats and the bathroom? I just thought mine had an unhealthy obssession with the only room in the house I don’t want her in!
Oh, and my husband puts the lid down, or he gets the riding crop!
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:11 am rating: +6
#52
Michelle
I HATEHATEHATE it when people don’t close the lid after they use the restroom! It’s positively VILE! When you flush the toilet with the lid open, all of your germs fling out all over the bathroom and, quite frankly, I don’t know ANYONE in their right mind who wants to breathe that crap. I mean, would you want toilet germs on your toothbrush? I think not. There’s a lid on the toilet for a reason. Why the hell don’t people use it?
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: +1
#53
Annie R
I don’t really have a problem with whether the seat is up or down as a matter of principle but I close the lid at my house because my dog slobbers water all over the seat when he drinks from the toilet. My toilet seat issue is the goddammned women who ‘hover’ in public restrooms and don’t clean up after they drip piss all over the seat.
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: +9
#54
Aww... Crapsticks
You heathens are filthy.
Shit in the sink like the rest of us.
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:18 am rating: +6
#55
Canthz_B
If Marcus had a cat or two maybe we could justify this note from Professor Henry Higgins! LOL
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:23 am rating: +2
#56
Crapsticks
Not a bad idea Mishee. Might cover up the fetid stench of genitalia I get in my gym shower. Hhhmmm poo or nuts…? What would I prefer?
It’s like trying to decide between Norsca fresh or Lavender Bloom car deodorants…
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:38 am rating: +3
#57
Marcus
I was the submitter of the note, and must say, I’m very pleased with all your comments. Just to note, there are no pets that may drink from or fall into the toilet, and likewise, no children that may do the same. In reference to the aerosolised poo contaminated water on the toothbrushes argument, the toilet is not hermetically sealed when the seat is down, as I doubt any are, and such particles will escape between the rim/seat boundary by virtue of the fact that all seats are slightly raised off the rim by several little “feet” on the base of the seat. Likewise with the seat/lid boundary. This was debunked on Mythbusters, as they had toothbrushes kept in the bathroom with lid up and down, and kept elsewhere in the house. They found no noticeable variation in faecal coliforms present on toothbrush bristles whether near the toilet or not.
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:46 am rating: +18
#58
Canthz_B
I’m wondering something about toilet lids now.
It seems to me that putting the lid down during a flush would increase the air pressure inside the bowl, the rising water displacing the air, thereby forcing the moist air to jet out the sides between the bowl, seat and lid.
I would think this additional speed would send the germs even further than an open lid…much like a sneeze.
Of course, I’m frequently very wrong!
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:47 am rating: +4
#59
jamo
Yar, close the lid ya mingers.
It sprays!
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:54 am rating: +1
#60
Goldie
I’d have to side with the note author. One time, my buddy Kyle forgot to close the lid and Mr. Hanky came out. Most of you know what ensued. Do we want to risk it happening again? DO WE?!
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:57 am rating: +2
#61
CremeBrulee
Dear Helpful Roommate –
This is a household custom, not a social norm you get to force on those around you. My ex-husband and I never closed the lid – never thought of it, because we weren’t brought up that way. And we had kids, cats, dogs, and toothbrushes. My current boyfriend closes it because his mom made him. And…I just think it looks nicer, so now I do it, too.
Jul 18, 2008 at 9:58 am rating: +2
#62
Bubble
I’m a self admitted germ-o-phobe so I put the lid down because you can have aerosolization of the bacteria in your poo-however, that’s just me. If my guests don’t adhere to my loon-iness, I don’t get all bent out of shape.
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:05 am rating: 0
#63
Cowgirlgraphics
I say leave the seat up …. I use the Lysol drop-in in the tank and enjoy the heavenly scent of bleach everytime it’s flushed. No worries about rats, ‘gators or snakes either when you have your very own septic system.
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:17 am rating: +2
#64
kat
i’ve accidentally dropped way too many things in the toilet to ever leave the lid up.
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: 0
#65
Daniel
It’s far more hygienic to put the lid down.
Plus, it’s called a lid for a reason, and it’s there for a reason. A lid is something that you close when the object it covers isn’t in use.
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:31 am rating: +1
#66
Anna
I’m a female, and I don’t even care if the seat is down. Being blessed with the magical gift of sight, I can assess lid/seat status before sitting, thus avoiding any unnecessary butt-to-rim contact. I think that seat lowering is a pretty trivial issue to harass male roommates with, as long as the toilet is clean. But maybe I just grew up with little brothers, so my tolerance is a bit higher.
Asking for the lid to be lowered is absolutely ridiculous, unless it’s a definite hazard to pets, children, or belongings. Germs are tiny and fly everywhere. Get over it.
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:33 am rating: +7
#67
Mishee
I just think we should have a moment of silence for the hundreds of thousands fallen brothers and sisters across the globe who have succumbed to the horrific diseases, bacteria, and viruses associated with leaving the lid up and then flushing.
Now if everyone would please remove their Mongolian BBQ hats and pray – then it is time for the 21 Flush Salute (and for the love of God, don’t forget to put down the lid!)
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:39 am rating: +13
#68
unholyghost2003
At our house the lid went down because we had a small dog and padded seats (padded seats due to the bitter cold of WI winters). Doggy claws shred padded seats. Shredded seats cause shards of vinyl to stab a person in the butt when using the toilet. Being stabbed in the butt isn’t fun. That dog is now dead (old age, not a horrific toilet related drowning). Lid stays up.
On a related note: Seat up vs seat down. I am a woman with not one but TWO fully functional arms with fully functional hands attached at the ends. I can put the seat down if it is left up. The late night ‘Lid Down’ incident I mentioned at 29.1 taught me that light and a quick look at the toilet before sitting is a good idea in any case, thus I don’t fall in. IMHO the seat up vs seat down issue is majority rule. The lone guy in a house of women seat goes down when you are done. If you are the lone chick in a house of guys seat goes up when you are done.
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:44 am rating: +4