a deep-seated issue

July 17th, 2008 · 612 comments

marcus in leicester, u.k. found this stuck to the lid of the toilet by one of his housemates. “i’d understand if it was the seat,” he says, “but the lid?”

i’m with marcus, here — i don’t think this is some kind of dear abby “does the toilet paper go over or under?” type issue. is there anyone else who considers closing the toilet lid de rigueur?

related: dearest roommate

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FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · "up for debate" · etiquette · leicester · toilet · u.k.

612 responses so far ↓

#1 SarahBelle

Dearest housemate,
I’m a dude. We don’t do that shit.

Jul 17, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: +20

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- #1.1 Joe
  
  There can be valid reasons. I’m a guy living by himself in a cheap, one-bedroom place; my bathroom is small. The countertop around the sink houses my deodorant and other such items. Unfortunately, it is perilously close to the toilet.
  
  Also, I put the lid down to have somewhere to put my clothes while I shower. Because, even if they’re dirty, I’m not putting them on that nasty floor. (Hmm, maybe I should address that issue? Nah.)
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 7:57 am rating: +6
- #1.2 A
  
  It’s not even a dude thing to “forget” to put the lid down. I’ve never heard of that being common courtesy (and I’m a girl who fancies herself pretty manners-concious). It’s polite to put the seat down so that pee-ers in the night don’t get their asses wet by falling in, but requiring the lid to be closed is a little extreme.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 9:41 am rating: +10
- #1.3 Dave
  
  I’ve always been good about putting the seat down, and also the lid from habit since it makes the flush quiet. Now my wife gets unhappy with me if I put the lid down, because the in-the-night scenario leads to her sitting on the lid.
  
  On the other hand, I am supposed to put the lid on the downstairs toilet down because she doesn’t want the cat drinking out of it.
  
  Love her lots, but really now, different rules for different toilets? Way more than my boy brain wants to deal with.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 11:01 am rating: +14
- #1.4 Mishee
  
  Just remember not to use the hand towels either.. but only in the guest bathroom - for the love of God wash your hands, just do it in our bathroom. Better yet, why not just stay out of the downstairs bathroom all together? I think that would be best.
  
  And the pillows on that bed in the room that is never used? DON’T TOUCH THEM or they will need to be refluffed and arranged!!
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 11:12 am rating: +28
- #1.5 meandjez
  
  speaking of shit dude, you are spraying it all over your towels and toothbrush when you don’t close the lid…but i think that’s only been said about a million times already, but sometimes you just need to hear it again
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 6:48 pm rating: +7
- #1.6 Canthz_B
  
  Mmm, not particularly.
  I think the point has been more than adequately made.
  Perhaps you just wanted to hear you say it?
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 6:59 pm rating: +3
- #1.7 Mishee
  
  Troy - this is getting ridiculous… did you put the order in for more Unitards?
  
  meandjez - I think you should read post #132 and do your time. I do believe that since you did this willfully and knowingly that you must do the entire 20 hours.
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 7:09 pm rating: +1
- #1.8 Canthz_B
  
  The motion is seconded.
  Without objection…
  The motion carries!
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 7:14 pm rating: 0
- #1.9 Jaybird
  
  Maybe it should be the “Social Norm” to check the seat to make sure it is down before you sit
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 11:48 pm rating: +6
- #1.10 meandjez
  
  yep did post that comment willfully and did read 132 and now that i’ve seen how easy you all were i’m bored again..now what
  
  Jul 21, 2008 at 9:56 pm rating: 0
- #1.11 Tricia
  
  I think it should be understood as common courtesy being that it would make things equal between men and women if we all had to put it down; the men could put both the seat and lid down in one swoop. I recommend closing it before flushing to prevent the bacteria from flying around the room and landing who knows where. That’s a rule in my house.
  
  Besides, if you find the toilet with both the seat and lid down upon entering the bathroom, I don’t think it’s too difficult to figure out what is expected of you once you finish your business.
  
  Jul 23, 2008 at 5:38 pm rating: +4
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#2 JanScholl

my daughter is so spazz about the lid being down. She doesn’t want the cats to drink from it. I have news for her-it wont stop them or the dogs if they really want to drink from the porcelain crown. Mine lift the lid, drink and then scoot back and the lid falls back into place.

Jul 17, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #2.1 pry
  
  i have a 2 year old son and a couple of cats. so in my house, you leave the lid down. i’m not writing any post-it notes about it, though.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 7:36 am rating: +3
- #2.2 Numinous
  
  After my cat fell in the toilet (because he apparently is too spastic to take a drink properly) and left a dirty kitty prints all over the seat, I decided it was best to keep the lid down at my house too. I would not, however, claim that it’s a commonly accepted practice, except among the OCD afflicted.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 8:49 am rating: +7
- #2.3 cre8tivewmn
  
  It is a rule here too for the same reason. I got in the habit a long time ago when I had a cat who liked to get onto a high shelf in the bathroom when I wasn’t around. He jumped down on to the toilet once….and the rest is history.
  
  I still have cats and taught all my boys the habit too. Their wives may thank me someday.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 9:55 am rating: +2
- #2.4 amazon
  
  I never used to put the lid down, until I got cats. I think it is a rite of passage for every cat to fall in the toilet at least once… twice if they’re not particularly bright.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 12:16 pm rating: +1
- #2.5 amy d
  
  I have 2 cats, neither of which has fallen into the toilet (yet). I keep the lid up.
  
  One of my cats frequently falls into my bath water, however.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 12:23 pm rating: +1
- #2.6 Mishee
  
  kitty in the bath? you know you like when that happens amy girl.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 12:30 pm rating: +6
- #2.7 Lauraebk
  
  um, what is a porcelain crown? I have heard of a porcelain throne.. does it become a crown when the head goes in? Darn it, I must be too old to know this stuff. At least I dont have a sixhead.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:53 pm rating: +2
- #2.8 karen
  
  i believe a porcelain crown is something one gets from the dentist.
  
  Jul 21, 2008 at 2:51 pm rating: +1
- #2.9 iamme_13
  
  I’ve kept the lid of the toilet shut at home ever since my cat fell in and pulled the lid shut on himself and my dad had to get up and let him out… I mean you can’t teach the cat to be smarter, but you can rearrange your life so he doesn’t get stuck in the toilet again!
  
  P.S. a night light in the bathroom will help you determine if the lid and seat are up or down!
  
  Aug 7, 2008 at 4:39 pm rating: 0
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#3 Atheros

It’s considered more hygienic to do so, but I wasn’t aware it was the social norm. Certainly not something to write a passive-aggressive note about (heck, what is?).

Jul 17, 2008 at 11:55 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #3.1 RandyinReno
  
  Why do we need a reason?? This is simply a great example of passive voice in a truly passive aggressive note.
  
  The Romanian judge gives it an 8.5
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 12:03 am rating: +11
- #3.2 snee
  
  that romanian judge is a tough bastard.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 2:09 am rating: +3
- #3.3 Lauraebk
  
  More hygenic for whom? Frankly the less things I touch in a bathroom that is shared, the better! If someone just wiped thier booty a bit haphazardly and then shut the lid, I am not gunna be the first in line to touch it. In and out.. thats my motto!..hmmm…
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:55 pm rating: +1
- #3.4 agatha christie
  
  They say it’s more hygenic because microscopic particles are expelled from the toilet when we flush, and those particles come with tiny microscopic bits of fecal matter in them which can subsequently attach themselves to surrounding surfaces. Now, the actual amount of fecal matter expelled is very tiny (as you can imagine), but to some people who are neurotic about cleanliness, that’s enough to keep the lid down when they flush.
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 12:36 am rating: +9
- #3.5 Victoria
  
  Totally agree. Flying fecal * matters* .
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 9:37 am rating: +5
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#4 Julie

I read once that it was better if you have children to close the lid. I don’t have kids, and I’m not planning on having them for a long time, but I’ve gotten myself in the habit just in case I go over to someone’s house who has them. That way I won’t be at fault if the kid drowns in the toilet.

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:01 am rating: +13

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- #4.1 w_nightshde
  
  I have kids, and unless you enjoy them playing in toilet water it is better to leave it down.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 5:08 am rating: +1
- #4.2 Kev Orng
  
  If someone’s kids drown in the toilet, I’d call that natural selection in action! But I’d still feel bad for them.
  
  More likely that they’ll try to flush something else down there. My neighbour recently caught her son trying flush a chopstick.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 8:25 am rating: +33
- #4.3 Canthz_B
  
  When you child-proof your home you put child-protection locks on the lower cabinets. This is so your younger children cannot get into them.
  If you really think that your child cannot open a toilet lid, I’d suggest developmental testing.
  Most likely, if she/he is big enough to play in the toilet, she/he is strong enough to open it.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 11:15 am rating: +12
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#5 Eww

I think the leave the lid down norm (and everywhere I have been it is a norm) came from when there used to be sewer rats who would crawl out of unclosed toilets.

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:01 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #5.1 Numinous
  
  Have you seen sewer rats? You better put a concrete block on top of that lid if you expect to keep them out.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 8:51 am rating: +18
- #5.2 leigh
  
  In my neck of the woods it’s just dog sized cockroaches… and the lid wouldn’t stop them.
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: 0
- #5.3 Joy
  
  I’m from New York City, and as everyone there knows, you have to keep the lid down because of alligators, NOT rats, crawling out of the toilet from the sewers. That’s because of people who go to Florida and bring back baby alligators in their suitcases. Or is it crocodiles?
  
  Jul 21, 2008 at 3:43 pm rating: +2
- #5.4 Erika
  
  Used to be? Rats still climb up from the sewers into people’s toilets in Seattle. Apparently, the preferred method to get rid of them is to squirt liquid dish cleaner around the bowl (to make it slippery), shut the lid, and flush.
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 3:02 am rating: +1
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#6 L

i always close the lid. you don’t have as many germs floating around that way, or at least thats what i like to tell myself.

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:03 am rating: +4

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- #6.1 Jahzzie
  
  I just prefer that the SEAT is down, I couldn’t give a flying fig about the lid. It’s funny to watch the cats scramble when they fall in, and as far as stuff falling in, it only happens once. You learn not to keep anything important like hair to toothbrushes too close to the edge.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: +4
- #6.2 snee
  
  flying figs won’t be a problem with closed lids.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:58 am rating: +20
- #6.3 goose
  
  WTF is your toothbrush doing balanced on the toilet seat?
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 2:12 am rating: +8
- #6.4 ALA
  
  There are water particles that escape when you flush…they can float several feet. As soon as I read that, I started closing the lid.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 5:09 am rating: +6
- #6.5 amazon
  
  Ok, for all your germaphobes, guess what? You have mites living around your eyelashes! Yes, these guys are crawling on your eyelashes as we speak. Enjoy!
  
  http://www.electroherbalism.com/Naturopathy/MiscAltHealthTopics/Parasites/parasite_pictures_and_videos/eyelash_Mites_1.jpg
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 12:52 pm rating: +11
- #6.6 Canthz_B
  
  I am SO IN LOVE with you amazon! ♥
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:02 pm rating: +2
- #6.7 amazon
  
  Shh! Don’t tell my boyfriend that
  
  Before my legal career, I worked in a bacteriology lab, decoding E.coli genes. (Yeah, I know, it was just as much fun as it sounds.) I got over any germaphobia real quick!
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:15 pm rating: +1
- #6.8 Kev Orng
  
  Wow, I get a kick out of reminding an arachnophobic friend that he’s never more than six feet from a spider, but now that seems so… amateur
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:29 pm rating: +4
- #6.9 Canthz_B
  
  I did home demos for Kirby vacuum cleaners for a couple of weeks when I was 19.
  Oh, the things we sleep with!
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
- #6.10 lampnerd
  
  yeah but the note did not specify to shut the lid before the flush
  
  Jul 24, 2008 at 8:04 pm rating: 0
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#7 Canthz_B

Social norm or family custom?
Of all the things prospective roommates need to be clear on before moving in together, this ranks beneath last on the list.

As long as the toilet is flushed after use why hide the water? Everyone knows what’s in there.

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:03 am rating: +15

reply to this comment
- #7.1 snee
  
  EWW! toilet water is just…it’s just…um, yeah…it’s just water.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 2:00 am rating: +5
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#8 Bikerbabee

Dearest Roomie,
I thought it was awesome and mature of people to have actual face to face conversations of this sort, but, thanks for giving my friends at PAN a new note to snark over.
Marcus.

I have some penis stickers and glitter for you to put on there too Marcus.

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:09 am rating: +6

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#9 Quite Contrary

I leave the lid down so my cat can sit on the toilet and paw at and shred the toilet paper.

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:16 am rating: +23

reply to this comment
- #9.1 amazon
  
  So many cat owners in here! I wonder what that says about us?
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 12:21 pm rating: +2
- #9.2 Quite Contrary
  
  Cat owners are awesome!
  
  Jul 20, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: +2
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#10 Quite Contrary

Dearest Roomie: No. I was aware. And I didn’t find the information helpful.

Signed, Marcus

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: +22

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#11 Lo

I’ve had a snake crawl out of my toilet before, so I freak out when anyone leaves the lid up, as well.

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:28 am rating: +4

reply to this comment
- #11.1 Moonsilver
  
  Ya know, if that hadn’t just happened to a woman right here in town, out of her washing machine, I would have sneered at this as a ruse. She called animal control and they removed a Python from her home just yesterday.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 3:27 pm rating: +1
- #11.2 Lo
  
  No ruse. Ours was luckily just a garden snake of some kind, I think? It wasn’t poisonous and it wasn’t a python. Still almost gave my mom and I both a heart attack, though. I can’t imagine if it was a python. Ugh!
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
- #11.3 leigh
  
  Surprize buttsecks?
  
  YIKES
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 6:10 pm rating: 0
- #11.4 Canthz_B
  
  Oh come now.
  A python?
  One may have gotten into her washer, but more likely through the door, not through the plumbing.
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 6:24 pm rating: 0
- #11.5 Mishee
  
  *wonders if this occured in Ohio*
  
  If so, that might just not be a python… was it albino by any chance?
  
  Jul 19, 2008 at 6:38 pm rating: +1
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#12 Beadknitter

It’s not in the MissManners book of good etiquette, but why have a lid on the thing if you’re not supposed to close it? In addition, I grew up in earthquake territory. You close the lid to keep things from falling into the toilet during an earthquake, no?

Jul 18, 2008 at 12:32 am rating: +11

reply to this comment
- #12.1 Canthz_B
  
  “…but why have a lid on the thing if you’re not supposed to close it?”
  
  I honestly don’t know. Why have doors that we keep open?
  Easy access, I suppose.
  I live alone so I know who’s been on my throne! LOL
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 1:02 am rating: +3
- #12.2 Joe
  
  CB: No more rhyming now, I mean it!
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 7:47 am rating: +3
- #12.3 Canthz_B
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 7:51 am rating: 0
- #12.4 Joe
  
  Alone, throne. Sounded very sing-song when I read it.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 7:59 am rating: 0
- #12.5 TygerAKC
  
  Anybody got a peanut?
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 7:59 am rating: +15
- #12.6 Canthz_B
  
  Sometimes words just rhyme.
  I was not trying to do so that time.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 8:07 am rating: +9
- #12.7 Kev Orng
  
  Why do 24-hour convenience stores have locks? These are the great mysteries of our age.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 8:30 am rating: +6
- #12.8 Canthz_B
  
  According to a Stephen Wright joke: A guy sees a clerk at the convenience store locking the door and asks, “Why are you locking the door? The sign says open 24hrs.”
  The Clerk says, “Yeah, but not in a row!”
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 8:47 am rating: +4
- #12.9 Mishee
  
  nevermind.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 9:02 am rating: +2
- #12.10 unholyghost2003
  
  Beadknitter,
  I will accept that as a good reason to keep the seat down for you but you do realize that while Leicester, UK had an earthquake this fast Feb. (5.3 on the Richter scale) it was considered a freak thing. Making news because it was “the biggest in 25 years!” Just saying Earthquakes, not a huge deal there.
  
  Jul 18, 2008 at 10:07 am rating: +1

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

a deep-seated issue

July 17th, 2008 · 612 comments

612 responses so far ↓